Ha! And you all thought ‘Driving Home for Christmas’ would be the go-to Chris Rea song while getting across Devizes, but in fact it’s ‘The Road to Hell!’
If you had the bizarre notion that engineering works were supposed to be coordinated by county councils, please seek medical attention, allowing yourself an extra millennium or three for your journey time to the quacks. Small mercies though, it seems, venting your frustrations on the Devizes Issues Facebook group will see you in social media exile, and that could be the breath of fresh air you really need right now!
If Wiltshire Council are coordinating road works they’re doing so with a game of Kerplunk. Driving through Devizes in rush-hour this week is enough to make Jeremy Clarkson consider joining Extinction Rebellion. Roadworks causing commuting chaos in Devizes is hardly news, but this is the first time the number of sets of traffic lights has outnumbered the population of the town!
We have to accept the rolling Wessex Water works providing essential new piping, ongoing until the second coming of the age of Aquarius, but right now they’ve reached the handy junction of Long Street and Sheep Street, closing this cheeky detour off. And given there’s an ongoing issue with piping on Nursteed Road too, perhaps it’s not the best time to lob a third set of traffic lights into the equation at the crucial junction of New Park Street and Northgate Street, basically your only escape route west, especially being this is to accommodate a new build, so no one is affected if it was to wait, save the building contractor.
Enter the ever proactive Wiltshire Council with the genius solution; one more set of traffic lights isn’t going to amount to a hill of beans, not Heniz 33 variety anyway. It was high time for them to suddenly repair just the one of the ten bazillion (that’s a gazillion jillions to you) drain-hole-cover-caused moon crater fashioned potholes, bang outside the Town Hall, which was reported months ago according to a commenter on the Devizes Issues Facebook group….ooo, controversial, I’m not supposed to be poking my snout in there. Somebody chastise me with a blue rosette.
All hail the mighty one, for he hath spoken on his all-powerful Facebook page. Defending the indefensible, the happy chappy no one seems to see any conflict of interests in being both a town and county councillor, plus ruling a popular local social media group with an iron fist, laughably lobbed his toys far from his pram at those understandably venting their frustrations there for the unnecessary logjam, apparently. I wouldn’t know, for speaking my mind got me banned. Anyone with a functioning brain cell to realise the true test to know mein führer Yan Wallish has lost the argument is when he adds, as he did on this occasion, “comments are going off!” suffers the same treatment. Off with their heads!
It’s enough to wonder why the smeg he administers a discussion group, if it wasn’t for the numerous occasions he’s blatantly used it to fib and derail competing electoral opposition.
Though this isn’t a rant at any individual, you know me better than to do that, it does relate to the worm who turned, being a few years ago while a businessman in town, rather than a busybody councillor with a penchant to tinpot dictate, he would’ve sided with the frustrations of local shopkeepers who will undoubtedly lose out.
For their sake I’ve refrained from whining about the congestion issue in Devizes, but as the incompetence of Wiltshire Council to update our infrastructure accordingly and coordinate roadworks, has caused Captain Kirk to move to red alert, the elephant in the room is now an elephant sanctuary. Now it is criminal not to raise concern, as I believe sitting in your car for an hour, seeing red, or dangerously clogging our unsuitable village rattrap alternative routes will cause accidents.
I beg you try your best to keep calm, despite being aware it’s easier said than done. The roadworks aren’t going away anytime soon, so we must adapt, plan accordingly.
We have to generally reduce our car usage whenever possible. Be united and courteous when driving around the town, car share wherever possible, maybe buy next year’s Christmas gifts at the same time as this year’s, take a sleeping bag, emergency food and water supplies when trekking more than a quarter of a millimetre, or a laptop to rework War & Peace!
It’s obvious when comments are turned off from debating the issue by those in a position to speak out for us, speaking out for us will transmodify into the usual brown-tonguing exercise and nothing will ever be done to improve the problem.
devizine.com 
Love it. Even though I’m living in Chippenham and rarely travel to Devizes I feel your pain. Councils are all the same, inept at best.
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