Oh Danny Boy, oh, Danny Boy, they loved your boyish Eton looks so, but when ye was voted in, an all democracy wasn’t quite dying, if it’s now dead, as dead it well may be, ye’ll come and find the place where it was lying, and kneel and say an ave there for me a desertion, to save thy political skin from flailing, Herr Faragührer?
Kruger shed it like the snake he is, licked the Gestapo sausage and now he’s a populist, saving common racists from an imaginary invading army; because he was such a “people person” before all this, wasn’t he?! And Marlborough is so chockablock with illegal immigrants sponging off Tommy’s pimped teenage girls in Union Jack dresses and luxuriously living free in its five star hotels, innit, thou?!
The guy’s not even painted a fucking roundabout yet. Get with the program, Danny; a Waitrose shopper is your best definition of poverty!
Well, we all knew there was something very Herr Flick, or at least Von Smallhausen, about misogynistic gutless weasel Danny Kruger, MP for East Wiltshire, the motherland. Yeah, news of the day, he’s jumped ship and plans to turn his East Wiltshire constituency into an ultranationalist fortification, and there’s not a thing the kindly folk of East Wiltshire can do to stop him.
With a mere 16% of the vote in a constituency deliberately skewered to allow Conservatives a Wiltshire safe seat in Parliament, Reform seized the day, and Danny, originally hoisted in from Richmond without a clue what a lardy cake is, is officially reformed, reborn from being dipped in Kennet, to more registered company than political party, with a tax-dodging lying scumbag dictator for a leader who is made up entirely of foreskin. What a happy news day, what a democracy! At least smeg head Ed J Rimmer has something to crisp his jiz rag about tonight.
Meanwhile in our Lib Dem constituency life in Devizes is a landlocked beach, and according to our trustworthy journal the Gazelle and Herod, we’re all sunbathing on the dried up Crammer. This isn’t Clacton, pal, Marlborough’s suitable for you dragon slayers now, but you’ll have to pay to read that bollocks clickbait. There’s sun and rain, anyway, Jason Hughes you silly sausage, haven’t you seen? Even the sky is woke, get your notepad out for that one before the Crammer refills. We’ve got our own flotsam and jetsam issues here, without worrying if Heinrich Himmler is taking tea at The Polly, damn your eyes, sir!
Sign the petition HERE, calling on Danny Kruger to step down as an MP following his recent defection to the Reform Party. Before Kruger strikes in your dream, like the antagonist of A Nightmare on Elcot Lane.
Notify us if you organise a protest and we’ll spread the word, we do more than edgy and triggering political satire. Suggest blocking off Marlborough High Street and rally for your rights while you still can, because Oswald Mosley is laughing from his grave at you, singing, “Don’t-cha wish your girlfriend was a fascist freak like me?!”
devizine.com 