With restaurants being booked up faster than Take That reunion tickets, nice walks in the countryside threatened by snowstorms, just what can you do on Valentine’s Day, you know, to make it that bit extra special? Devizes Town Council may/may not have the answer.
They’ve a Timmy Mallet styled Roadshow at the Ceres Hall of the Corn Exchange on the 14th February. Tiny Irish pop has-beens B*witched may/may not be performing, alongside BBC Radio’s Simon Mayo in eighties tight sporty shots and mullet. All we know at this early stage is, it’s going to be loud and crazy, with beachballs and inflatable bananas bouncing through the crowd.
Yes, do pop along, bring the love of your life for a Valentine’s Day they’ll never forget. Support and meet our town councillors, who may/may not have not intentionally arranged this during normal working hours of 10am to 1pm to avoid confrontation from anyone under the age of 70.
Also, people have expressed concerns on social media, that they may/may not have deliberately arranged it on a Thursday, when the Market Place will be occupied by the weekly bustling market, making it a tad difficult to find a place in which to park. I find this very hard to believe, the Council have made it clear they care about parking in Devizes, and I am certain it will not be the focal point of the roadshow, not once the Rick Astley tribute act takes the main stage anyway.
Stay up and party into the early afternoon, when Devizes Guardians will be performing their breakdance routine, something requested by the people of Devizes, which proves they really do listen to popular local opinion, and Conservative Councillors will be offering Valentine snogs for 25p at the kissing table, with all proceeds going to the Foodbank that their political party have wonderfully increased the popularity of. The Town Council have assured me that girls in bikinis will get queue priority, and possibly a free goodie bag.
So, join in the fun and make Devizes a happy and pedestrianised place to live, or else they’ll hand control back to Wiltshire Council, who couldn’t even give a finger of fudge to our county’s disabled, let alone respite care allowances. Personally, I can’t wait for B*Witched to perform “c’est la vie.”
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