The Curious Case of the Christmas Carrot

Twas down in the cellar of the Vaults where poets meeting to recite verses of yule and a celebrated story-time with Ian Diddams, had become somewhat of a seasonal ritual in old Devizes. Alas it was not to be this time around amidst the many cancelled traditions, but like many events, an adequate substitute has been provided. You may have to source your own beverages, but you can spend an hour with Ian in his garden grotto as he recites an entertaining and hilarious parable, from the comfort of your own armchair, or loo; whichever you deem more suitable.

Unsure how I missed this satirical chronical disguised as a fable to make Arthur Conan Doyle blush. I guess with seasonal celebrations my online time has been sporadic, but Christmas isn’t over just yet, or is it? Whatever; I suspect, unless you’re a Devizes resident with a penthouse on Baker Street, you’ll never personally identify with cultural references in any other Sherlock Holmes mystery in quite the same way.  

A faultless fable delivered effortlessly, save the continuity of one shady depiction of a local character, the toothless milkman from Rowde. Didds should take heed, my inkling I know the very person ridiculed and will confirm they’re far too young to know what, or who, “a milk snatcher” is. Honestly, I’m cut between being honoured and contemplating the cheek of it all!

I present the video herewith for your own perusal and entertainment, if, like me, you were too busy stuffing turkey and/or Quality Street and putting batteries in toys over the season to have taken notice of it. It is worthy of your time, the story intermitted by poetry outbursts by Gail Foster, who not only tends to slip-in (fnarr fnarr) occasional filthy subject matter, but also knowing the particular aforementioned troubled character scorned, could have tried to step in to stop him, but didn’t.

Most importantly, Ian always requests charitable donations as a way of applause for his efforts, and this time focusses on our earnest homeless charity Devizes Opendoors. You can donate here, please. You know we’ve visited Opendoors and seen first-hand the great work they do.


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