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Okay so, three days into 2025 and my chicken kiev parped at me. Is this an augury?! A prediction of how this year is going to play out?! Even my dinners will be farting in my general direction? Que sera sera, we’re not looking forwards, we’re looking backwards, at how 2024 passed here at Devizine Towers…..
Start with stats, ‘cos after 2023’s doubling on hits from 2022, we failed to make a similar hike, achieving about 9% less hits than 2023. I’m not going to lose sleep over it, it was a great year, but figure there’s a few reasons for this drop. Firstly, despite a shock general election, I’ve tried to avoid controversy and local political satirical slants as much as possible. Unfortunately it’s often me playing the grumpy old toad which gains attention, but I really wanted to focus more on arts and entertainment news, as that’s our ethos, the spoof and opinion articles are just me, abusing the platform to magisterially backseat drive.
Result, though; we rid ourselves of Tory tyrants, in parliament at least, there’s still work to be done to obliterate the impact and ingrained cluelessness of elitist robbery of the working class and have a fairer system for all. What’s my opinion of Starmer so far? Not impressive, that’s for sure, but by comparison with the circus of thieves which was the last government I think we’re in a better place overall. I’m certainly not going to jump the bandwagon in disparaging him, knowing the alternative is this growing trend for fascism. Though it’s not the shouty sort of fascism of the Third Reich, it’s more ignorance is bliss, pie n chips, pint in hand C3PO gammon nescience. But, enough said about that!
Other reasons for the slight drop in hits could be due to the rising cost, my own fatigue and motivation to head out; I do worry what will become of Devizine with my aging and possible inability to get to gigs and events. A massive thank you must go to our contributors, then. Though submissions can be sporadic, we always need budding writers, especially younger ones to keep what we’ve built here, and report on happenings, because left up to local press we’d be doomed; they seem to favour national clickbait headlines over supporting local arts and entertainment, but likely they deem it is their only way to keep their heads above financial waters. I can’t blame them, but I can have a sly quip or two about it!
It is the accolades we receive from those talented locals which we promote and highlight which keeps me going with Devizine, and I thank them for motivating me. That is therefore where the concentration should be now, not on politics.
Another is top secret, but if you’ve been contemplating that Devizine simply isn’t funny anymore, I’ll reveal my best jokes are being saved for a book I’m near to finishing. I think you’ll like it, it’s absolute filth! And lastly, currently I’m so utterly fed up with social media. It’s all so bloody serious, nothing is taken with a pinch of salt, nothing is carefree or amusing. And if I do publish something on there for fun, the jokes fly over someone’s head, they take it the wrong way, get offended and execute a witch hunt against me. It’s all so petty and obnoxious, akin to road rage, rather than the creative outlet of its potential, and likely, original intention.
If it’s not bombarding me with targeted adverts as a constant reminder I’m getting old, like care homes and life insurance, it’s flooded with utter crap, often using AI to illustrate misinformation and promote the rightwing bias of the owners, attempting to sway the masses; and it works too, that’s why they do it.
As a result I’ve massively reduced my screen time for such wet fart dribbles. I’ll share our articles on our social media platforms, but rarely feel inclined to interact with the gusto I once did. It is a shame, and it means you need to bookmark our wonderful website and check into it generically rather than wait for your social media platform to prompt you. Otherwise, fuck it, I’m doing this for bugger all reason, nearly as less than a few pennies it might yet generate. A fundraiser event may be a necessity now, at least an excuse for a much-needed party to lift my spirits! It is January though, a depressing little bugger, our annual review usually turns into whinge!
January
January I’m usually in hibernation, many are, so previews of events to come are more common as I hide in my hubby hole. Last year we ran ones on The Magic Teapot Gathering, the first line up announcements for My Dad’s Bigger Than Your Dad Festival, N’Faly Kouyaté of the Afro-Celt Sound System coming to Wiltshire Music Centre, and of course, the Bradford Roots Festival of which dragged me out of my cosy pit for! Two previews for new initiatives in Devizes worthy of previewing in January too were Palooza, a house night to happen in March, and Devizes Youth Action Group’s U18 gigs, both at The Exchange.
We announced a Lego Club starting at Devizes Library, and looked at courses in the art of chocolate at HollyChocs. I reviewed The Importance of Being Earnest at the Wharf Theatre. Andy ventured out to Long Street Blues Club, but for me, it seems the year begins with The Bradford Roots Festival, blooming lovely that occasion is, then I go back into winter hiding again!
Bookworm time, and Jan saw a review of Sorrel Pitts’ novel Broken Shadows; undoubtedly the best read we’ve ever reported on. And of course, recorded music reviews came thick and fast during those winter months. Albums from Billy Green 3, Richard Wileman and Daisy Chapman. Singles from Sienna Wileman, Nothing Rhymes With Orange, and Ushti Baba.
In the news, politics was brewing for a general election, we talked to the Melksham-Devizes Primary on where best to place our vote. We also reported on the sewage in the Kennet, and the MP who voted to strip legal duty on water companies to reduce harm caused by storm overflows. Yet regardless of all of this, the highest hitting article of the month by far was about a lost dildo found by dog walkers in Quakers Walk; you can’t make up a golden scoop like that!!
February
Still wintery, we looked into SoupChick’s new art gallery in Shambles, Valentina, celebrated thirty years of the Devizes Writers Group, the Kidical Mass bike ride calling for safer streets in Devizes, the Worton & Marston Brownies needing volunteers, and the Swindon Palestine Solidarity charity dinner. But my personal favourite was Darren and The Chocolate Factory, when I joined a family workshop at HollyChocs!
Other memorable events of Feb cannot be topped after Gaz Brookfield’s Village Hall Tour arrived in West Lavington. Though I also recall with fondness the Errol Linton Band at Long Street Blues Club, The Worried Men at the Pump, and Deadlight Dance at The Southgate. Ian gave us a review of Vince Bell at the Southgate, and Carrie at The Rondo Theatre. And we welcomed a new writer, Florence Lee who reported on Devizes Youth Action Group’s First Club Night.
Music in review came from Cracked Machine, The Lost Trades, The Jon Amor Trio, Jol Rose, and Talk in Code. We previewed The Beat at The Cheese and Grain, the Jesus Jones tour, Devizes Pride, Gaz Brookfield, Mantonfest 2024, The Scribes at The Pump, and that The Marley Experience was coming to Devizes.
March
Politically we had a clue to the change in the tide, with a historic Lib Dem win in Marlborough Town Council, shame the trend didn’t carry onto the GE there. We reported on a Palestinian Children Memorial in Swindon, and a Palestine protest at Labour Party fundraiser. We had a recap on the good work Devizes Clean Up Squad do, and opinionated on Wiltshire Council’s threats of prosecution against Wiltshire Music Events’ posters in Devizes.
I think the hero of the month goes to our bravest 7-year-old, Chloe, who slept out for Devizes OpenDoors. Though Chloe’s feat might yet have been slightly upstaged by our Brian, who discovered Led Zeppelin’s mystery thatcher, became a national hero to prog rock fans, and was the subject of a Wiltshire Museum exhibit.
We previewed FearFree’s fashion show at the Condado Lounge, Devizes Musical Theatre’s Sister Act at Dauntseys, our Shelly on the wheels of steel at the Muck & Dunder, and Devizes Arts Festival. Andy went to Cinelli Brothers at Long Street Blues Club, Ian gave a review of “RENT” at The Rondo Theatre. I had two unforgettable nights out, when Ian Siegal joined the Jon Amor Trio at the Southgate, and the first Palooza got me dancing my socks off for my birthday at The Exchange.
An album from Deadlight Dance and singles from M3G, Atari Pilot, and Life in Mono got covered, and we rediscovered our Chrissy from as yet unformed band Burn The Midnight Oil, providing vocals for drum n bass tracks. Oh yeah, I had a rant at those ranting about the Glastonbury line-up too!
April
April fools, of course, when we headlined “Devizes Road Resurfacing Plan Abolished Due to Dinosaur Fossil in Pothole!” The rest, though, was sadly true. Wiltshire Police Crime Commissioner Philip Wilkinson lied through his teeth, Amnesty in Salisbury responded to the Rwanda Bill, and Michelle Donelan’s fake magazine campaign leaflet was promoted by drink driving fox hunter Jonathan Seed. Meanwhile, Wiltshire Council continued to gloat about prosecuting fly posters, attacking Adrenaline Stompers in Westbury this time, whilst The Marley Experience concert in Devizes was attacked by some nasty Facebook posts, falsely claiming it was cancelled.
But away from nastiness, Chloe raised £600 for Devizes OpenDoors and we previewed Devizes Lions’ sponsored walk for the homeless charity too. The Peppermill started an open mic. We also previewed Simply The Best; Tina Turner Tribute at the Corn Exchange, The Female of the Species fundraising this time for Rainbow Early Years in Trowbridge, two teenage punks bands appearing at the Pump, Steatopygous & SHOX, a Bradford Roots session special with Bill in the Lowground, Daisy Chapman & Thieves, the Patsy Gamble Jazz Trio in Bromham, White Horse Opera’s Puccini’s “La Boheme” at Lavington School,
Six:Teen Edition, Devizes Music Academy’s first show, Palooza’s second night at The Exchange, and Swindon Jazz & Soul Festival, which I attended and loved!
Reviews also from James and the Cold Gun, Lucky Number Seven, Nobody’s Dad, The Real Cheesemakers at The Pump. Jinder and Mark Harrison at the Queens Head in Box. Barrelhouse at The Southgate. Roughcut Rebels and The Clones at the Three Crowns. Shox & Steatopygous supporting Menthol Lungs at The Pump. The Lost Trades at The Piggy Bank. Six:Teen Edition. “Skylight” at the Rondo Theatre. “The Thrill of Love” and “And Then There Were None” at the Wharf Theatre, and The Marley Experience came to Devizes and everyone loved it regardless of the grandstanding whingers!
May
A month of ups and downs, we previewed Professor Elemental, Madam Misfit and the Real Cheesemakers at The Barge on Honeystreet, Frome Festival, White Horse Opera’s Mathieson Trust fundraiser with Anup Biswas and The Brand New Heavies at the Cheese and Grain. We reviewed music from LilyPetals, Courting Ghosts, Nothing Rhymes With Orange and Poppy Rose.
We talked about Affordable school costs for all, Swindon families uniting in memory of innocent children killed in conflict, and while Vicar Gerry Lynch faced a soaking at Pottenre fete, St James Devizes Vicar Keith Brindle was honoured as a Canon of Salisbury Cathedral! But sad news was to hear Devizes International Street Festival was cancelled, and funding was needed to keep Confetti Battle going ahead. And Tonka Bean was closing too.
Events picked up though, Ben hailed the Beaux Gris Gris gig the best Devizes has ever seen. Meanwhile I was with Illingworth and catching up with George Wilding at the Crown in Bishops Cannings. Andy attended Peter Knight’s Gigspanner at Pound Arts Centre. Ian covered “The Incident Room” at the Rondo Theatre, “Sister Act” at St. Augustine’s, and “The Thrill of Love” at The Wharf Theatre. There was a homecoming gig for Nothing Rhymes With Orange at the Three Crowns, and another one of those nights when I went on a round robin tour of live music in Devizes, at Long Street, The Southgate and Three Crowns. The only time for a spoof article that month was for one headlined “Labour Party Could Change Star Wars Day to ‘Sci-Fi’ Day so to Not Offend Trekkies!”
June
June is about going out! Ben gave us reviews of Jim Blair and the Mojo Makers at The Beehive, Swindon, and Robert Vincent & Ryan Davis PAs at Marlborough’s Sound Knowledge. I caught I See Orange at The Pump with Devizes-own Steatopygous.
Ian checked out “The Collaborators” at the Rondo Theatre, and “Where’s The Cat? Live!” at the Wharf Theatre, and then there was Devizes Arts Festival which we all covered as extensively as possible.
A Junco Shakers at The British Lion, The Slambovian Circus of Dreams, The Sound Of Blue Note, Duo Tutti, Martin Simpson, Belinda Kirk, Lucy Porter, Ida Pelliccioli, Adam Rutherford, Edward Cross Quintet, Dr. Phil Hammond, Jolly Roger and The Cable Street Collective all reviewed, mainly by Andy, but a few by myself and Ian too, even had one from the Wharf’s own John Winterton. What a great year for Devizes Arts Festival, my personal favourite? Easy, that was Lady Nade.
All this and I still found time to preview Devizes Scooter Rally, the return of Devizes Youth Action Group gig nights, and FullTone Festival’s youth-supporting extra day. Review music from Talk in Code and Rosie Jay. But if anything kept me busiest, it was interviewing candidates for our MP post, Green Party candidate for Melksham-Devizes Catherine Read, Labour candidate Kerry Postlewhite and Lib Dem candidate Brian Matthew. It was an honour to meet them all, and I enjoyed chatting to them in New Society. Any one of them had the potential to do a more honest job, but there was something about Brian which made me think, hey, that’s the guy for the job; the best thing about it, a majority agreed with me; crazy times!!
July
And so, it came to be. After fourteen tiresome years of Conservative lies and robbery, continuously leaning further into far right extremism, openly promoting hate and dividing the nation, they got thrown out of there, but didn’t take it on the chin! “Michelle Gonelan Makes History,” was one article we published to make fun of the knicker-twisted attitude of those poor losers. Furious Tory supporters took to local Facebook groups, and we made fun of that too, with a headline deliberately in caps-lock, “WOK SNOWFLICKS GIT THERE KICKS ON DEVIZS ISSUES (BIT BETTER) THIS ELEKTION!” And then, even our county council leader wept like a baby over the new government scrapping the Stonehenge Tunnel! Oh, such fun!!
We continued to focus on DOCA’s fundraising efforts, and took a recap visit to Devizes OpenDoors too. But July is festival season, and we were too knee-deep in sunny vibes to worry about the disgruntled minority upset with the election result.
Firstly, it was a shame Devizes Scooter Rally and the Full-Tone Festival had to be one same weekend, such that I attempted to do both but spent most of my time cruising from one to the other, great though they both were. And it was a time when our recommendations came to pass, as Meg was booked for a rather smashing MantonFest, and The Sarah C Ryan band played DOCA’s Picnic in the Park, in which I played compere, in a giraffe onesie! Happy days.
Ian went to My Dad’s Bigger Than Your Dad Festival, in Old Town Gardens, Swindon, and I popped over to check out Minety, and crowned it the best local festival I’ve been to. Other great nights out included Talk in Code & Laissez Faire at The Southgate, Ian reporting on The Rob Lear Band at The Piggy Bank, Calne, “Faith” at the Rondo Theatre, and “Macbeth” at Cleeve House, Seend.
We also previewed the next season at the Wharf Theatre and announced there were only a few remaining tickets for Trowbridge Festival. Events, events, events, that’s what summer is for, not worrying about politics, it all ends with the same poor results. I believe it doesn’t matter who is at number ten, and while it’s probably better to have the last lot gone, we will never recover this financial pothole until we ALL face up to the fact the cost of Brexit has ruined us, and until we accept it and freely discuss without prejudice and arguing, what we can best do to recover from it, instead of blaming the current government for problems rooted in politics long before they won, we will see those comforts the UK have become accustomed to drop from us one by one. The closure of venues, pubs, shops, event organisers, the hardship of creatives, the general disillusionment that a new government can fix it overnight, all paints a very gloomy picture. Therefore, as I said at the beginning, I’m done with politics, and feel Devizine should focus on supporting the arts and entertainment as much as possible.
And that’s the end of the first half of this 2024 review, we’ll see a lack of political matters during the last six months of the year, and a new ethos of positivity in the face of such gloom…..I hope!!
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