Tag: fiction

Local Author’s Book Reveals Why Devizine Isn’t Funny Anymore

Devizine can reveal how a new book by a local author might possibly be the reason why Devizine isn’t as funny as it used to be….

Devizine, it used to be funny, but sadly it seems it’s not so much anymore. Who took the banana skin from under its flip-flop? Who failed to give it a raspberry on the bouncy belly? Editor and creator of Devizine, Darren Worrow might have discovered why.

He said, “It’s a disgrace. This so-called author Darren Worrow has channelled all his pathetic attempts at humour into his new book Murder at the Scribbling Horse, and hardly bothered sharing anything the slightest bit amusing here on Devizine, as he once did; typical liberties from a loony leftie! And now he expects me to blow my own trumpet and sing his praises; what a pretentious twat! Shamelessly plugging his own book on his own website is surely proof.”

“Set in the fictional Wiltshire market town of Slapam-on-the-Fye, which is nothing like any real Wiltshire market town you might know of, it claims to be a murder-mystery, but the only true thing it murders is English literature.”

“Neither is there any subtlety in it either, like there is with Devizine,” Worrow waffled on sorrowfully wallowing. “Worrow takes no prisoners, has gone all out and created an absolute work of filth; an offensive joke book with a sham narrative, just so he can say disgusting things about various celebrities, politicians and anyone else he doesn’t like, despite the good honest work they’re doing to keep Britain free from logic and empathy.”

“With the mouth of a sailor, it downright disregards any level of intelligence locals might possess, and paints them all as so utterly idiotic the narration of the story has to be conveyed through the point of view of the pub dog; I don’t think that’s funny at all. The dog is a depressing nihilist, who uses the opportunity to put the human world to rights, rather than getting on with telling the story, that’s why it stacks up over 500 pages. 500 plus pages of meandering woke filth, I might add.”

“Using a facade of a murder mystery, in which the frontman to a tribute act is murdered in the pub whilst they organise a fundraising music festival, as the plot thickens like moulded yogurt around his genitalia, it goes as far as disgracefully making a mockery out of petty local politics too. It’s the biggest crime against pop since David Bowie and Mick Jagger’s cover of Dancing in the Street. I’d rather lick that yogurt off than buy this book, but that’s probably what this sick perverted tyrant wants us to do.”

“You’re not going to enjoy reading it, as tea can scold you if dropped in your lap through laughing too much. Therefore I call upon Steer Karma and the government to ban this book for health and safety reasons.”

“This thing wouldn’t have been published under Farage, you know? And thousands of flagpoles will now have to be erected to counteract the unpatriotic damage done, at the taxpayer’s expense too.”

The author of the book, Darren Worrow, rebukes comments made by the Devizine editor, Darren Worrow. “That guy is as thick as a Boxing Day turd and pissing into the wind,” he said. “Other than the fact I have released a new book, the rest is slanderous lies and Devizine will be hearing from my lawyers. Murder at the Scribbling Horse is a fascinating psychological study and critique of the modern world, questioning our nonacceptance of aging and the social and political issues it raises; with added knob jokes.”

The author became irate, claiming, “for eight long years I’ve been tirelessly promoting everyone else for peanuts. I’ve not even had the opportunity of taking a bath since, and I look like a Yeti past its sell by date. It’s about time I thought about myself for a change, and everyone can bloody well return the favour by buying my book!”

Eighties post-punk sensations Johnny Bunion and the Verrucas’ most successful album, The Legend of Castle Grey Scholl, 1981.

Whatever happened to Johnny Bunion? His legend burnt out long before his candle ever did.

But the more pressing question must be, was it connected to the murder at the Scribbling Horse public house in the narrow-minded Wiltshire market town of Slapam-on-the-Fye, some forty plus years later? And if so, how?

To answer this you’ll need to research, and my book, Murder at the Scribbling Horse will be the only way to do that.

If there’s ever any proceeds from the book, they will go to a much needed new Lynx Africa deodorant set, and a Brazilian back, sack and crack wax for the obnoxious author; the twat needs it, he looks like Posie from the Flumps’ rustic vajazzle.

Seriously though, being funny is the only thing I’m serious about. If you laughed at any part of this internal press release you’re a bit weird, and the ideal target audience for my book! You’re going to laugh a kazillion times (that’s a zillion zillions) more with a copy Murder at the Scribbling Horse in your grubby mitts. And even if you’ve no sense of humour, you know a good Christmas present idea when you see one!

You can buy the paperback online here. And the e-book here. It’s out for global distribution but buying direct from Lulu cuts out the middle man and gives the best royalties to the authors. 

Not for sale to children or the over sensitive, though; as if I needed to say!

Murder at the Scribbling Horse is available at Devizes Books for a reduced price of £20, and next Saturday 22nd November, I’ll be in the shop praying to the Norse god of biscuits someone might stop by and purchase a signed copy at the super reduced price of £20!

If you cannot make it, you can message me and I’ll personally deliver you a copy if you live locally. I still need to work out posting & packaging costs, so message me if it needs posting and I’ll let you know about that asap. Happy reading…well, I say that but do I really mean it, I mean, really?!

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Rooks; New Single From M3G

Chippenham folk singer-songwriter, M3G (because she likes a backward “E”) has a new single out tomorrow, Friday 19th December. Put your jingly bell cheesy tunes on hold for a moment, because this is a beautiful, epic journey…. M3G’s seventh release, Rooks, poignantly pulls on the heartstrings when presented by the rise and fall of a…

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Wiltshire Music Centre Unveils Star-Studded New Season

Wiltshire Music Centre Unveils Star-Studded New Season with BBC Big Band, Ute Lemper, Sir Willard White and comedians Chris Addison and Alistair McGowan revealing their classical music talents….. Wiltshire Music Centre announces new Spring season with some extraordinary listening experiences on offer in the new year. Wiltshire Music Centre is a unique and contemporary 300-seated…

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Daphne Oram; Devizes’ Unsung Pioneer of Electronic Sound: Part 2

Daphne’s Family & Childhood Connection to Devizes Celebrations of Daphne Oram have been building in London since the beginning of December, for those in the sphere of electronic music and music technology. On the first Thursday of the month The Barbican held a concert commemorating Daphne’s centenary, where sound and music fair access partner, Nonclassical,…

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Still Alice at The Wharf Theatre Raises Dementia Awareness

Valedictorian graduate of Bates College in Maine, and with a PhD in neuroscience from Harvard, neuroscientist Lisa Genova self-published her debut novel, Still Alice in 2007. Acquired for publishing two years later, Still Alice made The New York Times Best Seller list, was adapted for the stage by Christine Mary Dunford of Chicago’s Lookingglass Theatre Company, and spurred a 2014 movie by Memento Films, winning Julianne Moore an Academy Award. Under the direction of John Winterton, The Wharf Theatre brings this poignant play to Devizes……

It’s lovely to be back at Devizes’ cosy and communal theatre. Ian assigned himself our theatre critic and while his brilliant inside knowledge is gratefully appreciated, I figured I fancy this one, as I have a personal angle on the plot. Alzheimer’s Society suggests “every 3 minutes someone in the UK develops dementia,” therefore I imagine many others will find relevance in it too, and if not, might one day.

We found it amusing at the beginning, my Nan in Dad’s car still wearing her slippers for a party, and other trivial mishaps. But the last time I saw her I was saddened to note she didn’t remember me, as she spoke to me of her “husband,” rather than address him as “grandad.” My children were young and understandably apprehensive about going into the care home. But when they plucked up courage my boy stood before her and she was delighted to be face-to-face with who she assumed was me. Here was the relieving point; I realised she hadn’t forgotten me, she just didn’t recognise me because thirty-plus years was missing from her memory; thank you genetics!

The journey between these two points in time was arduous for her and our family. For her it went from confusion to frustration and onto an immune state of obviousness. Lisa Genova wrote Still Alice in first person narrative from the point of view of Alice, a university professor at the height of her career who is diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s disease; it mirrors what we went through, and sheds a fascinating light onto what my Nan must’ve gone through too.

The play honours the narrative perspective by an ingenious method of a personification of Alice’s psyche. With a dual-Alice on stage, the real Alice, played sublimely by Linda Swann, says what she believes she should say, while her conscious shadowing her, equally delivered with skill by a younger version of Alice, Sophie Kerr, offers the audience an insight into what she is thinking. Just as I suggested, with the lost time of my Nan’s mind, Alice perceives herself as being younger, so this age gap works as her sense of reason, until reason runs short in her mind and her consciousness is reduced to the childlike drawing of pictures.

There are many elements to the happenings in the play which anyone who has experienced a loved one going through Alzheimer’s or dementia will recognise, and tears might trickle. There’s periods of thought-provoking awkward silence, intense confrontation at others, when the confusion turns to frustration. There’s poignant reality and touching scenes as the family come to terms with Alice’s deteriorating mind. There’s thought processes from Alice exposed, causing you to identify with her greater than that of her family; a window into the mindset of anyone suffering with this terrible condition.

Overall, akin to a film like Schindler’s List, this is a play you might not want to face, oh, but you must, and you should. 

Still Alice is evoking brilliance, you will leave impelled to discuss the subject further. It raises awareness of this horrifying condition and doesn’t meander from this for any purposes of entertainment. On the impaired particularly, the sentiment is pragmatic, but also in her relationship with her family and their emotions, all poignantly represented and acted with believable precision by John Myles, as the calm under pressure husband, Adam Sturges as the solicitude son, and Kezia Richards as the estranged daughter.

Still Alice raises awareness about Alzheimer’s or dementia in a similar way as Barry Levinson’s Rain Man raised awareness of autism, but only if we could have seen into the mind of Raymond would it be any more comparable. That’s the beauty of theatre, this is a play with the power to change you. 

Still Alice runs at The Wharf Theatre, Devizes from September 1st until September 6th 2025, Tickets HERE or at Devizes Books.

World Alzheimer’s Day is Sunday 21st September. You can find more information about local dementia groups at Alzheimer’s Support, and sign up for their Walk to Remember at Wilton House, HERE.

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Burning the Midday Oil at The Muck

Highest season of goodwill praises must go to Chrissy Chapman today, who raised over £500 (at the last count) for His Grace Children’s Centre in…

For Now, Anyway; Gus White’s Debut Album

Featured Image: Barbora Mrazkova My apologies, for Marlborough’s singer-songwriter Gus White’s debut album For Now, Anyway has been sitting on the backburner, and it’s more…

Killers, Catalysts and Devizes Author Dave McKenna’s New Novelette

On impulse I speculated, just short of a quarter way through this book and at the conjunction the format of the narrative is sussed, that if the author, Devizes’ Dave McKenna, has a favourite Quentin Tarantino film it might be my favourite too, the lesser acclaimed Jackie Brown. Not for its plagiarism of blaxploitation nor usage of derogatory slangs, rather for the multiple point-of-view conclusion, because The Killer & The Catalyst follows this formula throughout, and this is what makes it engaging….

This and breakneck volatility, conspiracy inducing, disloyal and sadistic action from nearly every character and the intense velocity it’s all delivered with. Coincidently, Dave cites Tarantino as an influence at the back matter, alongside Harlan Coben and Stephen King. Some of the book’s settings are drawn from actual features and places in Devizes. Most commonly the now closed and speculated as haunted Roundway psychiatric hospital, and an alley besides it in which Dave elucidates his inspiration for the story’s events set there were developed from a real incident at the location. It’s with these eerie settings, familiar if you’re local, I find understanding for citing King as an influence, especially to begin with; it feels like a horror, yet while the book has an unnerving ambience, a crime thriller might better pigeonhole it.

It’s causally written in a loose style with nothing academic about it, making it simple to digest, as if the narrator is on equal level to the characters, as if rambling the yarn to his mate in the pub. Breathes a sense of reality into it; the characters talk like you and I, therefore you identity, why not the narrator too? I like this relaxed and contemporary approach, particularly suits the plot and macho target audience; lads need to read more, and if that’s the case, this might be the book for them. Hyper popcorn-munching movie violence fashion this is.

Apostrophes are used instead of speech marks. This, and the abbreviation of okay to ‘OK’ out of speech makes the grammar police inside me cringe, to be honest. Such usages and the out of speech line, “That was a piece of piss,” implies this is hardly Dickens quality! But I’m willing to overlook and ignore these niggly criticisms for this book, because Dave McKenna can weave a story, dammit. He can evoke an appropriate mood within his readers, twist it, and he can suspend you on the edge of your seat. That makes him an author, not an ability to whisk long and misunderstood words (like wot I do to make me sound more intelligent than I is!)

Identifying the protagonist from the antagonist is questionable, when this periodic method of returning to the same opening scene with each point-of-view occurs, and that’s genius and a narrative difficult to construct. It conveys everything is not as it might seem from the angle of each individual and engages you into understanding the bigger picture. That is what makes The Killer & The Catalyst an absorbing and worthwhile read.

With the current state of the literature industry being it’s who you are rather than how good you can write, I wouldn’t imagine finding this on a supermarket shelf alongside ghost-written celebrity autobiographies. This is an example proving the asset of self-publishing, that which a mainstream publisher wouldn’t touch, doesn’t mean a person hasn’t got an exceptional story to tell and the ability in which to write it, it simply means it’s not commercially viable.

People merely need to be brave and take a lucky dip on a rising author, rather than accept what Waterstones throw at them. The Killer & The Catalyst is the good example of this, should you wish to be held in suspense and driven to question which characters were right and which were wrong, not forgoing indulging in some nasty scenes of violence to boot!

You can get The Killer & The Catalyst as paperback or Kindle on Amazon, or pop into Devizes Books for this page-turner, and you’ll look forward to reading future yarns of Dave McKenna, of that I’m certain.

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Headline Tickets For Devizes Arts Festival Available Now, And What Else is to Come?!

Tickets for the headline acts at Devizes Arts Festival are up for grabs now, and the rest will follow for general release on April 28th, unless you become a ‘friend’ of the festival, in which case it will be the 7th April…and why wouldn’t you?!

We all love Devizes Arts Festival here at Devizine, which opens on Friday 30st May and runs right up to Sunday 15th June. If you promise not to go breaking my heart, I’ll tell you what’s happening there…yeah, I know, you couldn’t if you tried!!

The festival opens with headliners, Kiki Dee & Carmelo Luggeri at the Corn Exchange on the evening of Friday 30th, and an exhibition by local landscape artist David O’Connor, who draws inspiration from Paul Nash, and ceramicist Richard Phethean. The exhibit will run throughout the festival at White Chalk Gallery in the Old Swan Yard.

Saturday 31st May sees multi-award-winning teacher, composer and organist Chris Totney returning to Devizes to give this year’s Festival Organ Recital; one of the very first times you’ll get to experience the new pipe organ that has taken the best part of a year to install in St Johns Church. Followed by one of the UK’s finest Latin bands, K’Chevere, at the Corn Exchange. 

Sunday 1st June, there’s a walk with Judy Hible of Wiltshire Geology Group, and furniture-maker Stewart Linford hosts a fascinating and informative talk on “Luxury in Wood” at the Peppermill (free fringe event.) But all eyes will be on the skies, when space scientist and BAFTA-nominated presenter of “The Sky at Night” Maggie Aderin-Pocock, pops in for an inspiring exploration of the universe.

Monday 2nd is time to get interactive, in a writing session with members of Devizes Writers’ Group, exploring writing fiction or nonfiction, one of the first workshops at the festival this year. Tuesday sees an enthralling and earth-moving evening of gardening talk with TV’s top gardener Frances Tophill. Wednesday is the turn of bestselling crime and thriller writer Felix Francis, for a fascinating talk on mysteries in the world of thoroughbred horse-racing. And Conan Doyle expert David Stuart Davies’ ‘Sherlock Holmes: The Last Act,’ directed by award-winning director Gareth Armstrong, plays at the Wharf Theatre, with a second performance on Thursday. Also find guitarist and singer-songwriterAnna Ling at St Andrews on Thursday.

Friday 6th, join Rowde’s only botanical artist and author, Ann Swan, for a workshop in her studio, while ceramicist Keith Brymer Jones will talk about his life as a creative potter and his experiences as a judge of The Great Pottery Throwdown at The Corn Exchange.

Saturday 7th June, and you’ll find the Sunday Times bestselling author of “Miss Austen”, Gill Hornby talking with Mark Jones from Fantasy Radio, a demonstration by the Devizes Regency Dancers (free fringe event,) and an electrifying country show with all-female Country Chicks.

Another walk on Sunday, gosh, they do like their Sunday walks, this time with Wiltshire Wildlife Trust’s Nick Self, conservation lead for North Wiltshire. Then it’s over to The British Lion for some Welsh frontier roots music with Whiskey River, (free fringe event.)

Monday 9th June you can join print-maker Hannah Cantellow at her Printmaking Studio in Rowde, or learn some crossword secrets from Times Puzzle Master Tim Moorey, who has been solving Times crosswords for over 50 years, on Tuesday. Tuesday also sees virtuoso clarinettist Sarah Williamson and soloist and chamber musician Simon Callaghan.

Wednesday 11th sees singer-songwriter Miranda Pender presenting a darkly humorous talk which includes five original songs based around some of the more bizarre stories unearthed from her family history. And Two Queens, One Nation at the Wharf Theatre, Miriam Cooper’s one-woman show exploring the unavoidable collision of dynamic sovereigns and cousins, Elizabeth I and Mary Queen of Scots.

Photographer and naturalist Stephen Davis is at the Cheese Hall on Thursday 12th, and jazz saxophonist Julian Costello brings his quartet to the Town Hall.

Friday is comedy night as Mark ‘Taskmaster’ Watson, celebrates twenty years in standup. Multi-award-winner, YouTube cult figure, Radio 4 favourite and recently ‘Baby Reindeer’ actor, Mark comes to Devizes after seasons at the Adelaide, Melbourne, Sydney and Edinburgh comedy festivals.

Author of English Civil War historical fiction series ‘Divided Kingdom’, Charles Cordell is with us on Saturday 14th June. His writing has received high praise in editorial and readers’ reviews alike, his latest novel, ‘The Keys of Hell and Death’, is set between Wiltshire and Somerset in July 1643. Followed by the Bath Male Choir in St Johns, and Torbay’s five-piece 80s party band Riviera Dogs at the Corn Exchange.

For the final day of Devizes Arts Festival, Sunday 15th June, author Charles Cordell finishes his talk with a guided walk and discussion of the Siege of Devizes in July 1643. Journalist, writer, and experienced skydiver Sally Smith is at Devizes Books talking about her book ‘Magnificent Women and Flying Machines.’ And Bath-based instrumental jazz-infused blend of Levantine mystery, Balkan passion and Latin rhythms quintet  Radio Banska bring the Arts Festival to a dynamic close at the Cellar Bar. Both of these last two events are free fringe events.

Tickets for the headliners are on sale now, all others will be on sale from HERE on April 28th.

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Broken Shadows; New Novel from Wiltshire Author Sorrel Pitts

I arrived in a Wiltshire village aged fourteen from suburban Essex, anxious this was my new home. While my parents awaited keys from the estate agent, they sent my elder brother and I to the shop for milk. Wandering the lane an elderly gent wished us the customary “mornin’.” It left me bewildered; why was he talking to us, he couldn’t possibly know us?! This amusing archived memory of an introduction to the way of life in rural Wiltshire popped into my tiny mind recently, jogged by a book I’ve been reading……

You may’ve seen it on social media ahead of its release on 6th Feb. If you’re active on our music scene you may know the author, Sorrel Pitts, often found at open mics, accompanied by Vince Bell. I caught her at one in Great Cheverell’s Bell and was astounded by her songwriting ability; now I realise I was only skimming the surface.

Sorrel is undoubtedly well travelled but raised in Wiltshire, though if it’s not the picture-painting words describing our landscapes, culture and mannerisms giving this game away, it’s the characters reflecting on foreign lives they’ve built for themselves in comparison to the sensations of a homecoming which illustrates Wiltshire life so vividly, hence my jogged recollection.

The village in Broken Shadows is fictional, but believably set in the Marlborough Downs, west of the town; if you know the area you could hazard a guess to the inspiration. Sorrel was born here, and from the tracks to the primary school and pub, to sacred neolithic stones, and down to the wildlife and weeds defining a scene around a dilapidated barn, her remarkable proficiency of illustrative writing is abounded.

As Steinbeck paints an image of rural Oklahoma to the point you can smell the cotton on the drylands, Sorrel equals in building a visual environment we’re familiar with. Perhaps Hardy would therefore be a better geographical comparison, and like him, Sorrel exemplifies subtle differences between rural working class and the affluence of classic Brontë characters. Though this is modern, mentioning a lack of internet connection, covid tests, or housing developments in the village, as two characters return to the village they grew up in, to recollect their rural upbringings.

With the scene set superbly, you’re in a picture frame, prepped for fictional first-person narrative, building in intriguing layers, diary-like over a two character’s POVs, those of Tom and Anna. The pair begin unattached though schoolfriends, are reunited through a similar circumstance of returning there, Anna to recover from an operation, Tom to care for his dying father. In this connection there’s an archetypal narrative of forbidden love sidelining, the thrill of lust against commitment, amidst an unfolding mystery, Tom’s brother’s unsolved brutal murder in the village when they were children. Anything further might be considered spoilers, needless to suggest, Sorrel rocks the boat of the stereotypical tranquillity of rural Wiltshire, with this mysterious loss and the unveiling its developing backstory.

It takes time to unravel the truth of what really happened, the pace of reading steady, as characters are introduced through various other family or village happenings, and varying amounts of suspicion you will cast upon them. I certainly had my chosen suspects, but when the revelation arrived, the penny will not have dropped, and Sorrel accelerates to breakneck speeds as the climax unfolds, leaving you breathless and unable to put this book down. I swear, right, my wife had to take my Kindle off me so I could get on the school run!

Not sure I like the term “page-turner,” to describe a novel, and until halfway I wouldn’t use it anyway, but if the suspense building in layers will tempt you back to it, I recommend you go for it. Feeling you’re close to summit of the tale when all will be revealed will tie you to the characters and their circumstance personally, and that, my friend, is the sign of a fantastic novel.

It could be set anywhere and would be a great read, the fact it’s local makes it seem that bit more real. You’ll pick up on cultural references and geographic locations, identify with the surroundings, architecture and particularly, the mannerisms of the villagers; it’ll leave it convinced you know Tom and Anna. The stunning wordsmithery of Sorrel is elementary, being the account is written akin to diary entries, there’s nothing to confound you, but the juxtaposition shows that pure competence to weave a convincing, heartstring plucking, and edge-of-your seat story. Sorrel can write, and I was hooked, Sir Michael Parkinson too, apparently! Ah, at least I’ve one thing in common with Parky!

Sorrel has a book signing at Devizes Books on Saturday 17th Feb, find the book available there, or at White Horse Books in Marlborough. Find digital copies on Amazon here.

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The Lost Trades Float on New Single

I’ve got some gorgeous vocal harmonies currently floating into my ears, as The Lost Trades release their first single since the replacement of Tamsin…