Devizes Guardians’ Doggie Doo-Doo Bag Dispensers

If the Gazelle & Herod knocked a front page together this week from Facebook discussions about a spate of dog fouling in Devizes, with a frustrated looking Conservative Councillor Iain Wallis about centre, grasping a doggie poo bag, independent party of Devizes Town Council, The Guardians have a suggestion to curb the current controversy; installation of poo bag dispensers in key locations in the town.

Despite some areas of the country, like Ipswich having bulky male vigilantes hilariously dressed as dog poo fairies, all agreed a squad of enforcement officers on patrol was impractical. Iain Wallis, who I’m certain would agree he would look great dressed as a dog poo fairy, suggested in the local rag, “I would like to see the town council set up a task group to gather ideas from the public as to how we can tackle the issue.” Team Dog Poo, we could dub them, arguably apt, you might say, for some members of DTC. But this time, I’m coming to their defense!

Devizes Guardian Councillors Mrs Bridewell and Mrs Burton think the problem might be overcome, at least in part, by offering the bags in dispensers, located in key areas, including Hillworth Park, Brickley Lane Play Area and The Greens. The option will be discussed at Council’s forthcoming Community and Civic Resources Committee.

I’d sincerely hope its workable, but I’m a realist; plus, it’s hardly environmentally friendly. A wide range of reusable doggie poo solutions are available, dog owners only need to Google it and take some responsibility for their pets, and their planet alike. Which while a majority do bag-up, they still tend to use disposable bags, ergo dumping a turd in a bush is actually reducing their carbon footprint; the council could encourage them to break their wallet out and buy a reusable poo bag, because finding a practical solution is a minefield.

Concern is, if this trend continues it’ll become the norm and we’ll rearward to the watch-your-step era of the seventies and eighties, where if you grew up in this time, you’ll recall the fetid white dog poo lining our streets, and brown snowballs being the single most vicious weapon of a snowball fight; is that what you really want? Brown snowball in the chops?

Give a man a doggie poo bag dispenser and you’ll supply a solution for a day, teach the idiot to pick up after his mutt and you’ll avoid non-dog owners complaining why they should fork out their council tax because of the contempt of certain dog owners. Not forgoing, I’d fear bored pranksters, likely the TikTok door-kicker brigade with all the brains of an amoeba, tugging them out of the dispenser for so-called amusement, and we’d have empty dog poo bags flying in the air, and you’d likely step in a turd trying to avoid them; you can’t train stupid, neither can a council.

The Gov site encourages you to shop a dog fouler to your county council, here, this being the only sensible method to report it, but a proactive resolution is another thing. Because, the real solution is so radical it defies all reason, and it’s called a sense of moral obligation, to pick up your doggie’s doings. Yet that’s not something any council can undertake successfully; it is up to the individual.

Thing is, do not sigh and assume you’re living in some degenerating hellhole, most do pick up their doggie doings around here, and the problem is nationwide, not lone to Devizes, probable worse in other areas. But it relies on a common-sense of decency; something seriously lacking in the chosen few who deem themselves above picking up their dog poo, if this is you, I’ve a message for you, don’t get a bloody dog!