Local Author’s Book Reveals Why Devizine Isn’t Funny Anymore

Devizine can reveal how a new book by a local author might possibly be the reason why Devizine isn’t as funny as it used to beโ€ฆ.

Devizine, it used to be funny, but sadly it seems it’s not so much anymore. Who took the banana skin from under its flip-flop? Who failed to give it a raspberry on the bouncy belly? Editor and creator of Devizine, Darren Worrow might have discovered why.

He said, โ€œIt’s a disgrace. This so-called author Darren Worrow has channelled all his pathetic attempts at humour into his new book Murder at the Scribbling Horse, and hardly bothered sharing anything the slightest bit amusing here on Devizine, as he once did; typical liberties from a loony leftie! And now he expects me to blow my own trumpet and sing his praises; what a pretentious twat! Shamelessly plugging his own book on his own website is surely proof.โ€

โ€œSet in the fictional Wiltshire market town of Slapam-on-the-Fye, which is nothing like any real Wiltshire market town you might know of, it claims to be a murder-mystery, but the only true thing it murders is English literature.โ€

โ€œNeither is there any subtlety in it either, like there is with Devizine,โ€ Worrow waffled on sorrowfully wallowing. โ€œWorrow takes no prisoners, has gone all out and created an absolute work of filth; an offensive joke book with a sham narrative, just so he can say disgusting things about various celebrities, politicians and anyone else he doesnโ€™t like, despite the good honest work they’re doing to keep Britain free from logic and empathy.โ€

โ€œWith the mouth of a sailor, it downright disregards any level of intelligence locals might possess, and paints them all as so utterly idiotic the narration of the story has to be conveyed through the point of view of the pub dog; I donโ€™t think thatโ€™s funny at all. The dog is a depressing nihilist, who uses the opportunity to put the human world to rights, rather than getting on with telling the story, thatโ€™s why it stacks up over 500 pages. 500 plus pages of meandering woke filth, I might add.โ€

โ€œUsing a facade of a murder mystery, in which the frontman to a tribute act is murdered in the pub whilst they organise a fundraising music festival, as the plot thickens like moulded yogurt around his genitalia, it goes as far as disgracefully making a mockery out of petty local politics too. It’s the biggest crime against pop since David Bowie and Mick Jaggerโ€™s cover of Dancing in the Street. I’d rather lick that yogurt off than buy this book, but that’s probably what this sick perverted tyrant wants us to do.โ€

โ€œYou’re not going to enjoy reading it, as tea can scold you if dropped in your lap through laughing too much. Therefore I call upon Steer Karma and the government to ban this book for health and safety reasons.โ€

โ€œThis thing wouldnโ€™t have been published under Farage, you know? And thousands of flagpoles will now have to be erected to counteract the unpatriotic damage done, at the taxpayer’s expense too.โ€

The author of the book, Darren Worrow, rebukes comments made by the Devizine editor, Darren Worrow. โ€œThat guy is as thick as a Boxing Day turd and pissing into the wind,โ€ he said. โ€œOther than the fact I have released a new book, the rest is slanderous lies and Devizine will be hearing from my lawyers. Murder at the Scribbling Horse is a fascinating psychological study and critique of the modern world, questioning our nonacceptance of aging and the social and political issues it raises; with added knob jokes.โ€

The author became irate, claiming, โ€œfor eight long years I’ve been tirelessly promoting everyone else for peanuts. I’ve not even had the opportunity of taking a bath since, and I look like a Yeti past its sell by date. It’s about time I thought about myself for a change, and everyone can bloody well return the favour by buying my book!โ€

Eighties post-punk sensations Johnny Bunion and the Verrucasโ€™ most successful album, The Legend of Castle Grey Scholl, 1981.

Whatever happened to Johnny Bunion? His legend burnt out long before his candle ever did.

But the more pressing question must be, was it connected to the murder at the Scribbling Horse public house in the narrow-minded Wiltshire market town of Slapam-on-the-Fye, some forty plus years later? And if so, how?

To answer this you’ll need to research, and my book, Murder at the Scribbling Horse will be the only way to do that.

If there’s ever any proceeds from the book, they will go to a much needed new Lynx Africa deodorant set, and a Brazilian back, sack and crack wax for the obnoxious author; the twat needs it, he looks like Posie from the Flumpsโ€™ rustic vajazzle.

Seriously though, being funny is the only thing I’m serious about. If you laughed at any part of this internal press release you’re a bit weird, and the ideal target audience for my book! You’re going to laugh a kazillion times (thatโ€™s a zillion zillions) more with a copy Murder at the Scribbling Horse in your grubby mitts. And even if youโ€™ve no sense of humour, you know a good Christmas present idea when you see one!

You can buy the paperback online here. And the e-book here. It’s out for global distribution but buying direct from Lulu cuts out the middle man and gives the best royalties to the authors.ย 

Not for sale to children or the over sensitive, though; as if I needed to say!

Murder at the Scribbling Horse is available at Devizes Books for a reduced price of ยฃ20, and next Saturday 22nd November, I’ll be in the shop praying to the Norse god of biscuits someone might stop by and purchase a signed copy at the super reduced price of ยฃ20!

If you cannot make it, you can message me and I’ll personally deliver you a copy if you live locally. I still need to work out posting & packaging costs, so message me if it needs posting and Iโ€™ll let you know about that asap. Happy reading…well, I say that but do I really mean it, I mean, really?!


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Rooks; New Single From M3G

Chippenham folk singer-songwriter, M3G (because she likes a backward โ€œEโ€) has a new single out tomorrow, Friday 19th December. Put your jingly bell cheesy tunes on hold for a moment, because this is a beautiful, epic journeyโ€ฆ. M3Gโ€™s seventh release, Rooks, poignantly pulls on the heartstrings when presented by the rise and fall of aโ€ฆ

Wiltshire Music Centre Unveils Star-Studded New Season

Wiltshire Music Centre Unveils Star-Studded New Season with BBC Big Band, Ute Lemper, Sir Willard White and comedians Chris Addison and Alistair McGowan revealing their classical music talents….. Wiltshire Music Centre announces new Spring season with some extraordinary listening experiences on offer in the new year. Wiltshire Music Centre is a unique and contemporary 300-seatedโ€ฆ

Daphne Oram; Devizesโ€™ Unsung Pioneer of Electronic Sound: Part 2

Daphneโ€™s Family & Childhood Connection to Devizes Celebrations of Daphne Oram have been building in London since the beginning of December, for those in the sphere of electronic music and music technology. On the first Thursday of the month The Barbican held a concert commemorating Daphne’s centenary, where sound and music fair access partner, Nonclassical,โ€ฆ

Talk in Code: The Big Screen

Talk in Code’s second album has been out a while, overdue to mention it……

January 2019, and I find myself making several eighties cultural references in reviewing Resolve, the debut album by Wiltshireโ€™s own Talk in Code. A band which turned my aged preconceptions of the โ€œindieโ€ pigeonhole on its head.

For me, wedged in the nineties, imaginings of that somewhat depressing outlook of the riot-grrrl, the post-gothic period of indie my rave fixation required an abhorrence of by default. Though it was hardly mods and rockers in that era, as in we didnโ€™t fight, โ€œraversโ€ and โ€œindie kidsโ€ simply didnโ€™t recognise each other until the remerging of the crossover, through the likes of the Chemical Brothers and Prodigy, yet, reflecting, it was always there with Madchester and the progressive Primal Screamโ€™s Screamadelica.

So, whoโ€™s up to debate it, does any of it matter now? I likely chewed the ears off of guitarist Alastair Sneddon on the most memorable occasion of a road trip with the band last March! Weโ€™re in a period where the trend is to cast-off that nineties flavour in favour of citing influences like U2 and Simple Minds, and Iโ€™m game for that, even if the band tend to name more modern inspirations.

The point is, Talk in Code build on this ethos, their sound ever strives towards it, ergo, everything after Resolve increasingly adds to this method, of its standout single Oxygen and its gorgeous dreamy emotions akin to a John Hughes soundtrack, and gradually onward. Yet somehow this panache isnโ€™t regressive, forgive the eighties references, itโ€™s retaining freshness in the contemporary, just allowing a serious nod toward early to mid-eighties feelgood pop.

It’s a fashion which Talk in Code hooked me onto bands like Longcoats, Daydream Runaways and Atari Pilot too, and a scene has developed to the point Swindonโ€™s pop darlings are now Talk in Code; they played the Coleview Music Festival this weekend, entertained crowds during the interval of the Wildcats ice-hockey game at the Link, and generally, the excitement is consistently blossoming for them, and deservedly so.

Back on our outing to Portsmouth they stressed the importance of both gigs and recording, and since their connection to Regent Street Records, there was a keenness in the band to grab wider appeal in anticipation of the forthcoming album, The Big Screen. The release of it was pushed back to accommodate this collaboration but has been up-for-grabs since last month. Having already reviewed many of the tracks of singles Iโ€™ve been biding my time, apologies to Talk in Code, but here it isโ€ฆ.

To begin, The Big Screen has had nearly as many singles coming off it as Jackoโ€™s Bad, yet the comparisons end there. The opening title-track though, is exclusive, and it rings as the perfect intro as all the shaping Iโ€™ve described above. Illogical chronologically follows, their last single released, which I defined at the time as summing up โ€œtheir undeviating style, upbeat and optimistic,โ€ and suggested it was more danceable than the previous singles.

One of my personal favs follows, Talk Like That, came out back in January 2020, of which I suggested would โ€œblow your diddy-boppers off!โ€ Track four is Hindsight, an album track, perhaps, least one I havenโ€™t heard of, but again, listening to it everything just falling so neatly into place. Talk in Code are so stylised, this flows as an album rather than a collection of singles, and nothing here will disappoint.

April 2020โ€™s single Courage (Leave it Behind) is followed by a cooling new song, Someone Elseโ€™s Shoes, which takes on the Wham boys at their earlier best. This is a drifter, but yeah, I said Wham, I donโ€™t know about you, but it got me reminiscing the greatness of Everything She Wants, a hidden gem of their discography often obscured by later hits.

But Save It returns to paced euphoric, and one canโ€™t go wrong towards the finale, as the last three tracks are recently celebrated singles. The Molly Ringwald moment of Young Loves Dream, autumn during lockdownโ€™s neon song Secret and ending on the summery Taste the Sun, dripping in fun, and sunshineโ€ฆ. club tropicanaโ€™s drinks are free, yโ€™ know? And in that, a certain moreish finesse weโ€™ve come to accept as standard from Talk in Code shines on.

In all, despite reviewing the singles as and when they were released, itโ€™s worth revisiting as together in the compilation of The Big Screen, you can hear what Iโ€™ve been waffling on about with each and every single review, about the tightness of the band to create this uniformed joyous chic of universal pop appeal. Honest, in a Tardis, feels like you could pull out a Smash Hits poster of Talk in Code and blu-tac it to your wall, and your dad will approve. Whatever did happen to Terrence Trent Dโ€™Arby?!

Get the album here, s’ only seven quid.


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Burning the Midday Oil at The Muck

Highest season of goodwill praises must go to Chrissy Chapman today, who raised over ยฃ500 (at the last count) for His Grace Childrenโ€™s Centre inโ€ฆ

St John’s Choir Christmas Concert in Devizes

Join the St Johnโ€™s Choir and talented soloists for a heart-warming evening of festive favourites, carols, and candlelit Christmas atmosphere this Friday 12 th Decemberโ€ฆ

For Now, Anyway; Gus White’s Debut Album

Featured Image: Barbora Mrazkova My apologies, for Marlboroughโ€™s singer-songwriter Gus Whiteโ€™s debut album For Now, Anyway has been sitting on the backburner, and itโ€™s moreโ€ฆ

Butane Skies Not Releasing a Christmas Song!

No, I didnโ€™t imagine for a second they would, but upcoming Take the Stage winners, alt-rock emo four-piece, Butane Skies have released their second song,โ€ฆ

One Of Us; New Single From Lady Nade

Featured Image by Giulia Spadafora Ooo, a handclap uncomplicated chorus is the hook in Lady Ladeโ€™s latest offering of soulful pop. Itโ€™s timelessly cool andโ€ฆ

On The Road With Talk in Code!

You know that millennial movie, Almost Famous, set mid-seventies, where Rolling Stone Magazine mistake a nerdy teenager for a music journalist and send him on the road with an outrageous prog-rock band? It was nothing like that. Neither did it resemble 200 Motels, where a man dressed as a vacuum cleaner convinces you Ringo Starr is actually Frank Zappa in some freaky acid flashback. But I did have an awesome adventure yesterday, on the road with local premier indie-pop favs, Talk in Code.…..

There were no campervans with CND slogans painted on the side-door, no sign of Goldie Hawnโ€™s daughter unfortunately, and though my bubbles of anachronistic pre-imaginings burst, it allowed me to chart the regular labour of a touring band, rather than my usual practise of slouching up halfway through a performance with lame excuse. For if Iโ€™m going to write on the subject, I need to comprehend the inner workings, and the thoughts of a band going to a gig; even though Iโ€™m far from teenage music journalist with an advance from Rolling Stone!

So, by dinnertime Iโ€™m lone with guitarist Alastair Sneddon at the steering wheel, hereafter referred to as โ€œSnedds,โ€ with an amp case knocking in the rear of his car, and distracted by my inane waffling, weaving between musical subjects, badly following his sat-nav to Portsmouth.

Likely the eldest of this four-piece band, Snedds is a family man with a wealth of musical experience. He fondly recalls playing in cover bands, jazz and blues groups and our chat swifts across his past, musical influence brushing off on his children, current past gigs and local venues, to the importance, or insignificance of pop culture, the mainstream music industry and current trends of listening to music from streaming platforms to amplification to listening through phone speakers; we couldโ€™ve chatted all night on his passionate chosen subject, least it perceived to reduce the travel time. ย 

Before I knew it, we were awkwardly parked on a busy street in Southsea. Awash with cheesy club type pubs, restaurants, kebab houses and chippies, lies an equally misplaced theatre to our right, and a more traditional looking city tavern, The Lord John Russell, which will be our venue for the evening. Like a true roadie I felt a sense of haughtiness as I assisted lugging equipment through the already bustling pub; make way, yes, Iโ€™m with the band, ladies control yourselves!

But nothing felt ostentatious for the band as they amassed their kit in a corner, greeted each other and the promoter; hereโ€™s a tight working team despite the geographic distance between them. Talk in Code are part from Swindon, Reading and Devizes, but here they are with an excited air of anticipation brewing. Thereโ€™s a trio of bands on tonight, Talk in Code are second on, while the first are already sound checking, locally based to Portsmouth, Southerlies are a seven-piece covers band, fusing Americana with punchy hooks into contemporary pop; they proficiently delivered their set with good male-female vocal harmonies, and being local I observe they attracted a fanbase.

Quite eclectic then, to switch to Talk in Codeโ€™s more electronica indie-pop, which as I discussed in the car with Snedds, perpetually seemed to fuse conventional nineties indie sound to a more inimitable eighties synth-pop style with every new tune. Yet tricker still was the notion the Talkers insist to play only their originals, which would be unknown to this rather heterogenous crowd. Besides, frontman Chris gets his fill of covers with the Britpop Boys.

Seems Friday live music nights are relatively new-fangled for the Lord John Russell, with a promoter keen to create the venture, the pub also adhered to cater for the pull on itโ€™s street with screens showing sport and archetypical club music between acts. As much as market town pubs like Devizesโ€™ Southgate work here, with a penchant for original live music and solely that, it wouldnโ€™t work in this busy city location judging by the footfall. But a splendid, convivial and dynamic pub it was with a wide demographic.

One thing I was keen to gage from Talk in Code, the priorities and feelings towards playing a gig outside their usual stomping ground as opposed to returning to a venue like Swindonโ€™s Victoria where a fanbase would be welcoming. They stressed the importance of both, and being their recent connection to Regent Street Records, thereโ€™s a keenness in the band to grab wider-appeal in anticipation of the forthcoming album. The release of which has been pushed back to accommodate this collaboration.

Still, all the band are united in praising recent local gigs, particularly Trowbridge Town Hall where they supported The Worried Men, and were keen to pick out the importance of the many locally-based festivals theyโ€™re booked at, from Minety to Live at Lydiard and IWild in Gloucestershire. And with appearances at places like Oxfordโ€™s HMV, things are really looking up for them post-lockdown.

And itโ€™s easy to see why when they bounced on stage last night at the Lord John Russell, after their virtually nail-biting eagerness while the Southerlies launched into their final song, Chris already polishing his guitar and Snedds confessing the waiting game is a pet hate. A technical issue with leads to the backing tracks solved, the band applauded the previous and proficiently executed their thing, introducing themselves and delivering their songs with panache.

For me it was a blessing, being Iโ€™m aware of much of their discography, to finally get to witness them do it live, and had to stop to ponder their stage presence is as exhilarating as their recorded work. Yet, my view of the performance differed from the crowd as the band were likely new to them. Still, they got the place jumping, sprightlier, and louder than the previous band. They confessed a spirit of fair competition was unavoidable in them, yet affirmed their ethos to never do their set and bunk, in respect for other bands; Talk in Code come off as outgoing throughout and it was an honour to be welcomed into their web.

Also present, I spent time chatting connections, her background as music journalist and her fanzine making past, with manager Lyndsey. From Milton Keynes she avidly followed the group in their early years, falling in love with their sound it seemed only natural to mutually agree for her to manage. And part-time freelance photographer Helen, whose PolarPix Facebook page is dominated with Talk in Code shots. I put it to her she seems to have another band photographed then a Talk in Code one, then another Talk in Code one, then another random band. She acknowledged most of the other bands were on the same bill as TIC! A true โ€œTalker,โ€ as is their fanbase appellation.

Percival Elliott

A pleasant change from trudging the local circuit, as the finale was a euphoric rock band named Percival Elliott, who, with barefoot frontman on keys, executed a sublime set, the like youโ€™d want Coldplay to achieve. In many ways here was a band apt for our own fond venues such as aforementioned Southgate and Trowbridge Town Hall. Without boast, coming highly recommended by yours truly occasionally has some clout, though there was part of me who, if in control of this triple-bill, wouldโ€™ve put Talk in Code as the final band, being more upbeat popish.

We give no more review of The Lord John Russell for the sake of it being outside our boundaries, but if youโ€™re Pompy bound this would be an ideal pub to consider, offering a variety of free live music dates on Fridays. Now Iโ€™m home, unpacked my Peppa Pig bucket and spade, but while I unfortunately didnโ€™t see the seaside, or Kate Hudson, I was in good company with a band which goes from strength-to-strength. ย 


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Large Unlicensed Music Event Alert!

On the first day of advent, a time of peace and joy to the world et al, Devizes Police report on a โ€œlarge unlicenced musicโ€ฆ

Winter Festival/Christmas/Whatever!

This is why I love you, my readers, see?! At the beginning of the week I put out an article highlighting DOCAโ€™s Winter Festival, andโ€ฆ

Devizes Winter Festival This Friday and More!

Whoโ€™s ready for walking in the winter wonderland?! Devizes sets to magically transform into a winter wonderland this Friday when The Winter Festival and Lanternโ€ฆ

Snow White Delight: Panto at The Wharf

Treated to a sneaky dress rehearsal of this year’s pantomime at Devizesโ€™ one and only Wharf Theatre last night, if forced to sum it upโ€ฆ