Carmela Wins Points of Light Prime Minister Award

A huge congratulations to Carmela and the Chillery-Watson family of Lavington, who knew nothing about the Points of Light awards until Carmela was rewarded with one this week. โ€œWe are absolutely bowled over with pure happiness at this surprise award,โ€ mum Lucy said.

First established in the USA by President George Bush in 1990, UK Points of Light was developed in partnership with the US programme and launched at Downing Street in 2014. Since then, hundreds have been named Points of Light by the Prime Minister, highlighting an enormous array of innovative and inspirational volunteering across the length and breadth of Britain.

Points of Light are outstanding individual volunteers; people making a change in their community, and after her 300km challenge last year, we couldnโ€™t think of anyone more suitable and deserving than our lovable Carmela.

Diagnosed at the age of three with L-CMD, a progressive muscle-wasting disease which weakens every muscle over time, Carmela is now six and has come a colossal way in raising awareness and funds for Muscular Dystrophy, and continues to be an inspiration to us all.

โ€œThank you, Boris,โ€ Carmela said, โ€œthis is awesome news, I canโ€™t believe it, itโ€™s so amazing. Thank you so much.โ€ Although the prime minister is just another celebrity notched on Carmelaโ€™s campaign trail, meeting with the likes of Beverly Knight, Frank Bruno, Jimmy Carr, and even Harry Duke of Sussex. Oh, and not forgetting last September when Wonder Woman actress, Gal Gadot, donated over ยฃ3K to Carmelaโ€™s fund. Face it, between Boris and Gal, I know which one Iโ€™d rather meet!

Itโ€™s a wonder, excuse the pun, if Carmela remembers the morning when she helped me on my milk round at all. I hope so, as it was a pleasure to meet her, Lucy and dad, Darren, and an occasion, Iโ€™ll always hold dear; even if I was a little tired and smelly!

CEO of Muscular Dystrophy UK Catherine Woodhead congratulated Carmela, and added, โ€œeveryone at MDUK is thrilled that Carmelaโ€™s outstanding fundraising efforts for the charity have been recognised by the Prime Minister. To date, Carmela and her family have raised nearly ยฃ50,000 for MDUK.โ€ Which is simply, amazing. Well done Carmela.


Trending……

Harmony Asia Can Do This

Itโ€™s a question Iโ€™ve asked Chippenham singer-songwriter Harmony Asia on each rare occasion I catch her for a chat; if sheโ€™s planning to capture aโ€ฆ

How it Feels for a Bluebeard!

The first time I heard the name Bluebeard and the Desperate Hours, I presumed their sound might be folk or blues inspired. Judging a bookโ€ฆ


Candidate for Wiltshire Police & Crime Commissioner barred from Volunteering to Administer Lateral Flow Covid Tests

Is it campaign point-scoring, as the authorities seem to presume, or concern for health which encouraged Wiltshire PCC candidate, Mike Rees to volunteer to administer lateral flow tests? Whatever, the bottom line is discouraging anyone from attempting to help out during this crisis is bureaucratic nonsense.

And besides, just a brief chat with Mike recently, throughly convinced me his motives are genuine. He’s an open minded, authentic and down-to-earth guy, with experience in the field and a passion for the role.

Mike explains: “It’s with great surprise and disappointment that I have to let you know that I have been stopped, and apparently barred, from becoming a volunteer in the police effort to combat Covid19.

As a retired police officer I put my name forward for volunteer duties last year when the pandemic struck.

Mike Rees

This month I answered another call to volunteer to administer lateral flow tests to police officers and staff. I had a training session earlier this week and completed the online NHS assessment and passed to certificate my competency for the task.

Today I was expecting to attend a ‘dry run’ session however I’ve now been told I cannot attend as they have to investigate the ‘rules’ as allowing me to volunteer may suggest bias on their part because I’m a candidate for the role of Wiltshire Police Crime Commissioner.

I’m disappointed and dismayed to be denied the opportunity to volunteer to support the police, a force I worked in for 30 years.

I’ve asked for the ‘rules’ to be clarified as I see no possible concerns.

For your information, I do not agree with this decision to bar me from volunteering. 

I’m standing as an independent candidate, not aligned to any political party and volunteering was a personal decision.”

Mike is fast becoming the outside chance of becoming our PCC, and we’re backing him fully here on Devizine after his Malmesbury boxing club recently helped out the homeless, appealing forย  donations of sleeping bags , food and clothes from locals and delivering them to the OpenDoors support agency in Devizes.

Plus, this is, by far, not the first charitable thing Mike has engaged in.


Rise of the Snowmen!

Ladies and gents, this is the moment you’ve waited for…. or maybe not. This isn’t the Greatest Showman, this is the greatest SNOWman! Yes, we held a little snowman competition, and here’s how it went…..

Two things didn’t occur to me upon posting a picture of our snowman on our Facebook page, offering others to do likewise in a competition fashion. Firstly, the colossal response, but I guess Sunday’s snowfall was a golden opportunity to get out of houses and have a little social distanced fun. Alas, now the power of the sun and rain has reduced the white blanket to the odd splatter here and there. We will always have photographic memories of our once proud sculptures, and a carrot on the front lawn. Here comes some now…โ€ฆ

Secondly, how to actually go about judging a snowman competition, never having judged anything of the sort before. I gathered some thoughts to criteria, I Googled and found some rather serious rules from other such competitions.

Jonesy McSnow and Lucy (age 10)

Certain I wasn’t intending to make it half as serious as these, their judgements were much as I anticipated. There are factors to consider. Creativity for starters. Originality, tradition, competence, and dedication are equally important. Size is good, but it’s, as you know, not everything, when building a snowman that is.

Towering over the playpark on Devizes Green, Bally Bongo’s Bob stands at over 6ft 2. By
Archie(8) Blu (4) and a little help by the parents!
This snow Kong at the Henly’s has sacred everyone back inside!
The Russell Family’s got an outie belly button bigger than the average snowman!
The Waterman’s daughter’s first snowman is huge!
Stay back, he’s got a taste for meat, or is that a twig?!
From the tall to the small, it doesn’t matter, he looks happy!
Don’t, don’t, don’t you, forget about me!

Many were divided into age groups, which I figured awkward. Building a snowman is usually a group activity, it’s about families, all ages contribute. Kids run around trying to construct the starting ball, dads get the backbreaking task of rolling it up and taking half the grass and autumn leaves with it, while mums usually stay in the warm sourcing carrots and hats; it’s a communal experience for sure! Okay, Iโ€™m generalising for artistic license and know itโ€™s not really like that, trying to be funny, when really, judging a snowman competition is snow joke (see what I did there?) But making a snowman has no boundaries or conditions, any age, and race and gender, everyone together, getting creative….

Amazing!
Best buddies!
Hide your carrots, there’s a snow bunny about! Pictured with it’s creator; grand job, Faith!
The apple of Pingu’s eye! Well done Willow & Jonah!
Very retro, Kiana!
Shiver me timbers!
Mange tout, Hoffman, you plonker!

He made snow chicks, cats and dogs….

Arrow through the head??!
Great rocket ship, Isacc…. oh, you’ve sledged away!
Shark invasion in Sam’s garden!
And a hoodie in Kev’s yard!
Buddha in Urchfont!
And some lounging about!

But part of the beauty of creating a snowman is the feeling of togetherness. Here is an art where anyone can be the artist, provided theyโ€™re willing to get wet gloves. And in that notion, where some strive to be original, often the traditional method is tried and tested. A good snowman doesnโ€™t need to be carved by Henry Moore with flawless features; he needs a carrot for a nose, he needs two pebbles for eyes, twigs for arms and an old hat and scarf. We live in a traditional county, after all.

Tracey and Sara Whatley did the hard work, the horses reaped the benefits!

Then again, thereโ€™s something striking when creative genius gets to work and original ideas bend the theme. Some can be topical, facemasks a common theme this year, or culture based, whereas some can be funny, others damn-right rude….

The Barter family make use of their brussels sprouts after Christmas!
Zeb’s snowman has a snow booty!
Ol’ broccoli eyes is back; Guardian of the wheelie bins!
Either they tried to put wellies on this snowman, or it ate a small child!
Facemasks on, here comes the foreman tree inspector!
Dog photobomb at the Diskett’s!
Somebody call the snow doctor!
Anyone seen the funnel bit to mum’s vacuum cleaner?!
Take two bottles into the shower? No, I just wash n snow!
Anymore snow coming, I need a friend? Not for you, sprout-face!
Got to look your best when doing a spot of gardening…
Hit and run snowman attack!
Skateboarding on ice is dangerous, but when else can a snowman hit the half-pipe?
I’m all for gender neutral snow people, but this one has lady’s assets and a six-pack!
You’re only ever one jacket away from being a goth!
I thought about making this the winner; they’ve got to win something after all!
Office party, you know how it goes…..
Jimmy Saville goes skiing?

Rudeness I can take, live by it; but at least drag yourself away from Babestation for a few minutes to get out and actually build a snowman, rather than, as some did, Google โ€œrude snowmanโ€ and share the first image which pops up. Sad, but true, spoils it for the kids, of all ages.

Rule Britannia, we shall, we shall never stuff a whole loaf in our mouths at once?
Heavy night, anyone got a paracetamol?
I’ve had enough of this, I’m off to live with the wolves…..
Will you be my friend?
I am robo-snowman!

Can I pick a winner?

Drum rollโ€ฆโ€ฆ Tricky. Iโ€™ve narrowed it down to my ten favourites, and here they are. I apologise, I tried to source a snowman type of prize, but theyโ€™re a tad out of season and this was a spontaneous idea. I think a bit of future planning, for next yearโ€™s snow storm, being the idea was so popular, and we could have prizes. For now, winners can print off my certificate here, and a colour-me-in sheet, if they like that sort of thing! Thank you all so much for letting me see your brilliant snowmen, I loved looking at them all, having a penchant for snowmen, I admit unashamedly!

Oh, and if you do colour them, Iโ€™d love to see your fine colouring skills!

Never over-complicate the objective. Matrim Vaux, age 6 knows less is more with Bill the snow owl.
Leo, age 5, and Hallie, age 2 looking a tad cold, but like they’re having so much fun!
Topical from the Collins family, but he looks awesome!
I just love this picture, Casey, age 6 looks so proud as she strikes a pose, but Archie, age 3, seems distracted by something else happening elsewhere; it’s a guy thing Casey!
By Justina Hams and her seven year-old. Because he’s so smooth and grand looking!
Rob Jobson understated his snowman, saying “it’s the taking part that matters!” No mate, he’s superb in his simplicity!
A team effort from the Lake family, and a grand job made of it!
Marc Spartacus Fleming and Leia (2!) This is Steve the snowman, and he just works!
Are you in competition with your snowman for the best hat, Ava-Mae?! A grand effort, you look proud and so you should be!
Just to put a hat on her snowman wasn’t enough, Alison Sinclair (45!) carved it, and all other features so brilliantly!

Graham Steel Music Awards Online Tomorrow

Join the GSMC on Friday 22nd January at 8pm for a celebration of grassroots music as they present this yearโ€™s GSMC Music Awards Live Online on YouTube, where they will announce the Winners of all 12 categories and will include live and pre recorded music from some of the nominees as well as a look back at the year and celebrate all those people that helped keep the grassroots music scene alive in 2020.

GSMC Music Awards Night will be streamed live from YouTube on Friday 22nd January at 8pm, the link for this is below:


โ€œNobody has Wanted to Talk about Hunting, Other than Trolls!โ€ Says PCC Candidate Jonathon Seed

Busy day, chatting to Wiltshire Police Crime Commissioner candidates and The Wilts Hunt Sabs; something is conflictingโ€ฆ

In 2012 five members of the Avon Vale Hunt, including the master huntsman and Wiltshire councillor, Jonathon Seed appeared in court charged with breaching the Hunting Act 2004. Though they all denied the breach before magistrates in Chippenham, Seed made a statement released to the Wiltshire Times, โ€œThis is a private prosecution by the RSPCA and I believe that it has been commenced for political reasons, as their stance against hunting is well known and it is of great significance that Wiltshire Police, after advice from the Crown Prosecution Service, declined to take this case forward. These proceedings are an abuse of the private prosecution system, which needs to be addressed in due course.โ€

And how best to address said abuse? Elect to become Police Crime Commissioner, thatโ€™s how. Perhaps itโ€™s an episode the councillor wishes would disappear, going on the rather defensive attitude he put up when I chatted with him about his campaign this morning. And for whatโ€™s itโ€™s worth, he provided some great ideas and valid points on subjects he attempted to divert me onto, but I was wondering where he actually stood on hunting, being, you know, itโ€™s illegal, and heโ€™s wants to be Police Crime Commissioner, just felt, well, a tad conflicting.

โ€œOkay, so, not about the campaign then,โ€ he started.

But I think it’s relevant. โ€œHunting is illegal,โ€ I pointed to the seemingly obvious, โ€œsurely we would want a PCC who upholds the law?โ€

โ€œAre you suggesting that I wouldnโ€™t want the law upheld?โ€ came Jonathonโ€™s reply. Had to say, far from suggesting anything, the question was built behind the datum the huntsmaster for the Avon Vale hunt appeared in court with allegations he broke the law. And upon experts in the field, Wiltshire Hunt Sabs, who seemed convinced laws had been broken that day. โ€œThe badger sett incident,โ€ they confirmed, โ€œitโ€™s clear evidence they were illegally hunting. Itโ€™s illegal to use terriers underground (the exemption is in relation to birds, which isnโ€™t relevant on a hunt.) There can only be one reason for sending terriers to ground and that is to flush a fox.โ€

โ€œYou were,โ€ I checked, โ€œhuntsmaster for the Avon Vale hunt at the time?โ€

โ€œYou will already know that I was,โ€ Johnathon stated, โ€œthe allegation against me that was unfounded was dropped and is covered in the blog.โ€

Wiltshire Hunt Sabs claimed, โ€œit wasnโ€™t unfounded at all, the current Huntmaster (Stuart Radborne) was found guilty of interfering with the sett. The fact they couldnโ€™t prove hunting act charges is yet more evidence that the law around hunting needs tightening.โ€

โ€œDo you have anything to ask about the campaign,โ€ Johnathon inquired, โ€œor are you just interested in the Avon Vale Hunt?โ€

Yes, I do. So, I asked him, โ€œif successful in the post, would you therefore discourage police to act against hunting offences? I mean, I understand, because they’d be personal friends engaged in something you firmly believe in. Also, would you support a turnaround of the law to allow hunting?โ€

And thus, came the jaw-dropper.

โ€œI have spoken to thousands of people about policing over the last four years,โ€ he said, โ€œresidents, officers, volunteers, victims of crime and nobody has wanted to talk about hunting other than trolls online.โ€ Rather than be labelled a โ€œtroll,โ€ by Tory boss-cop I allowed myself to be side-tracked. Jonathon was keen to lobby government for further funding, โ€œWiltshire is the third poorest funded force per head of population in the country, it needs overhauling and I will work with government to achieve this.โ€

โ€œI have spoken to thousands of people about policing over the last four years,โ€ he said, โ€œresidents, officers, volunteers, victims of crime and nobody has wanted to talk about hunting other than trolls online.โ€

Funds would put more officers in our communities, and offer better support for training and officers and staffโ€™s mental health, and I cannot argue with this, though I pondered why it should be; are we all so better behaved in rural Wiltshire, so we donโ€™t need as much policing as an urban area? I know I am!

โ€œHistoric underfunding of the force will continue to be an issue due to the way the funding formula is weighted towards some areas,โ€ Johnathon explained, โ€œThe current PCC has done nothing to improve the situation and I believe the public deserve a PCC who will lobby the heart of government for better funding.โ€

I overlooked the oxymoron; “heart of government.”

In true Conservative fashion he blamed Labour, because fourteen years isnโ€™t enough to up a budget. โ€œThe formula was created under Blair so naturally favoured labour voting areas,โ€ he reckoned. โ€œGetting the central government funding addressed has to be a priority. Just because we are a rural county doesnโ€™t mean we donโ€™t have sophisticated criminals operating in our towns and villages; domestic abuse, child sexual exploitation, modern day slavery, county drugs lines all affect our communitiesโ€ฆ.โ€

โ€œAnd fox hunters?โ€ I added!

โ€œItโ€™s a shame that without knowing me or talking to me you would assume I would actively seek to have the law overlooked,โ€ Johnathon asserted. โ€œI do not and would not want our police to do this for any crime. The Chief Constable has my full backing to ensure that the law is upheld. There is no picking and choosing who the police โ€˜police.โ€™ Operational policing isnโ€™t the responsibility of the PCC.โ€

On the front seems Johnathon has good policies, but theyโ€™re undoubtably all politically motivated. Do we need a local councillor in the role, or someone who has been actively in the field, policing? I also spoke to independent candidate Mike Rees, passionate about delivering a quality police service for the people. And have to admit, it was akin to chatting to eager musicians when interviewing them. In fact, if thereโ€™s irony in voting for a police candidate suspected of breaking the law, the only similarity is that Mike is in a heavy rock band called โ€œthe Lawless!โ€

He told me of annual fundraising gigs at Level III with a plethora of other bands, which has raised ยฃ13K for his own charity โ€œFatboyโ€™s Cancer Charity,โ€ which aims to bring a smile to children who are suffering from cancer or have other life-threatening illnesses. He was also adamant he loved animals, and aside his respect for traditional aspects of rural life, more needed to be done to enforce the Hunting Act. Mike went as far as telling me heโ€™d like to set up a hedgehog rescue centre in his retirement.

โ€œI know thereโ€™s a difference between what the boss says and what the police see, Iโ€™d like to see a happy workforce, not demoralised.โ€ He expressed a want to improve the service, the relationship between officers and the bosses, and the public, as heโ€™s been on the beat in Swindon, working up through surveillance and CID to counter-terrorism, called in to help during the London bombing. โ€œNo wool pulled over my eyes,โ€ Mike added.

โ€œWeโ€™ve seen year on year increases to the policing precept, yet no tangible changes or improvements to the service the public of Wiltshire receive,โ€ Mike stated, โ€œseems evident to me and the many people who I speak with, that the Police sometimes do not have the resources to deal with many of the basic responsibilities that we expect; and all too often we see the cracks of struggling service delivery being papered over with a slick marketing campaign, or dare I say it, a social media post!โ€

โ€œI know that savings can be made, and I also know how tax-payers money is sometimes squandered by Police managers,โ€ he continued. โ€œA politician who doesnโ€™t understand policing can be told that something is required or best value, and will just accept what they are told. I know whether it is actually nice to have or need to have. Spending needs to be scrutinised very closely and I would look to do that to ensure money is diverted to the right resources and needs.โ€

Though Mike said Jonathon Seed was โ€œvery critical of Independent Candidates on his Facebook page recently. To my knowledge, I am the only independent candidate for Wiltshire so his comments are clearly directed to me!โ€ But โ€œthe last thing I want to do is get involved in a continual slanging match with any of the other candidates.โ€ Which is just as well for them, as an amateur boxer, I wouldnโ€™t argue!

Jonathon Seed was โ€œvery critical of Independent Candidates on his Facebook page recently.”

He compared his own campaign budget to Johnathonโ€™s on the precept he doesnโ€™t mind if he doesnโ€™t get the job, estimating Seed has โ€œabout ยฃ50k to spend on campaigning, Iโ€™ve got about ยฃ50, and I begrudge paying that! Money is squandered when it should be to improve services.โ€

The hunting issue will always be a touchy subject in any rural settings with opinions so divided. But the law is the law, and if anyone upholds it, it should be Police Crime Commissioner. Though while Mr Seedโ€™s blogposts call for his innocence, they also state: โ€œMillions of people in this country engage in perfectly legal fishing, hunting and shooting pastimes and should not be demonised and bullied by a small but vocal minority who do not approve of these pastimes,โ€ and โ€œIt is utterly irrelevant to the vast majority of the electorate whether or not a political candidate had a lawful interest in country sports along with millions of other law-abiding people.โ€ Left me wondering how defending wild animals under lawful methods, could possibly deemed demonising and bullying.

โ€œIf you wanted to ask me something sensible about fox hunting,โ€ Johnathon said, โ€œrather than the usual stuff that has been well rehearsed and I know doesnโ€™t resonate with rural voters, ask me my views on the change to trespass and who it will apply to.โ€

But I didnโ€™t like to ask, changing rules to trespass blatantly is there to halt operations from protesters. The Wiltshire Hunt Sabs said, โ€œweโ€™d love to know if he still hunts, we havenโ€™t seen him out with the AVH, but there was a rumour he may go out with the Tedworth. I suspect he has paused for the election. Itโ€™s interesting he calls concerned members of the public โ€œtrollsโ€. How arrogant do you have to be to think that regular members of the public arenโ€™t interested in his background as a fox hunter!โ€

Iโ€™ll let the hits on this article decide, and leave it there. Iโ€™m all for deciding the next Police Crime Commissioner based purely on a doughnut eating contest, might be easier, might even win myself! Then youโ€™d all be buggered!


Extended Lineup for CrownFest

It was back in October when we revealed CrownFest at The Crown in Bishopโ€™s Cannings was returning this summer, and January when we last mentionedโ€ฆ

Chandra Likely To Go Boom!

Buzzwords, like โ€œturbo,โ€ or โ€œsonicโ€ are cliche, overused trends which gain popularity because they sound impressive, even if they are empty of meaning. I avoidโ€ฆ

Only The Brave Burn The Midnight Oil

Hurrah, at last! Only The Brave is the debut song from Burn The Midnight Oilโ€™s revised lineup; something Iโ€™ve been anticipating since watching them rehearseโ€ฆ

Choo-Choo; Dreams of Devizes Railway Station

I know what youโ€™re thinking, Iโ€™m a naughty boy; why hasnโ€™t Devizine shared news of the survey about the Devizes Park/Gate/Safe-Way railway station proposal yet, the one on the โ€œofficialโ€ Devizes website? Well, Iโ€™ve been deliberating. But before you judge me, I ask you hear me out.

When I took a bus from the Leigh end of Southend-on-Sea to Shoeburyness, at the other end, which Iโ€™d estimate being the equivalent of Devizes to Melksham, it cost one pound. The bus was bustling with a wide demographic, it cost the same across the entire city.

Live in a village just two miles out of Devizes and itโ€™s ยฃ2.50 for a single on the bus. Given Devizes Parkway would be a similar distance out on the other side of town, Iโ€™d wager itโ€™d be much the same price. Letโ€™s take a family of four from their village for a nice day out to London; a tenner to get town, a purple one just to get to this imaginary station for an overpriced train ticket; not including inflation.

Okay, Iโ€™m playing devilโ€™s advocate. Everyone wants a station, including me. Back, long before Devizine, and Danny Kruger could pinpoint Devizes on a map, I put a poll on Facebook for my satirical rant column on Index:Wiltshire, asking what, if you could have anything which was once in Devizes but no longer, would you like to see returned. The top answer was unanimously, a railway station. And I agree. I agree with you all, from young and old, fat and thin, from Tory to leftie and beyond, everyone would like to catch a train from Devizes, even if only to escape!

The argument of education, getting students to colleges, and employment, getting them to work, rather than relying on a rural bus service and of course lessening the environmental impact of commuting are, of course, valid and ample justification. The idea it will attract visitors, helping our local businesses and economy is slightly more dubious, an untested valuation. Simply because they can get here doesnโ€™t mean they will, especially if thereโ€™s nothing here to entice them. A view of Monument Hill and the Clock Inn Park are nice, but are hardly an exciting hive of activity.

I cannot help but feel, just as Brexit, and these grand and glorious schemes, a futurism-fashioned Festival of Britain, money saved from being in the EU to help the NHS, vaccinations for everyone by March, a high-speed train to gain three and a half minutes off the journey time from London to Birmingham, or a tunnel under Stonehenge to prevent erosion and people from seeing it without paying, the right-wing majority are suffering delusions of grandeur in a country potentially at itโ€™s knees by the time these under-budgeted dreams will become anywhere near reality. Iโ€™m sorry to have to see it this way, but the system is crumbling under our feet because our leaders are only in it for themselves.

Oh, need a relevant example? Boris Johnson only proposed this ยฃ500m fund to reopen some of the passenger rail services axed in the Beeching review to win seats from Labour prior to the 2019 general election.

To bring it back to local affairs, feels to me like the potential railway station is only on the cards because Danny Kruger wants to get to Westminster quicker, and Hornby enthusiasts are rallying to kiss his ring. And yeah, as I said, itโ€™s a great idea, for all the reasons stated. But given thereโ€™s surely far more important things we could spend the money on in this dilapidating town to improve it for everyone, you know what Iโ€™d like to see first and foremost? If we have spare cash to build a Lego station, Iโ€™d like to see our poorest, our youngest, eldest and people in care being supported.

I donโ€™t want to see homeless being cleared out from camping in the woods so dog walkers can be free to roam and tie poo-bags to trees. I want to see projects being put into reality which would cost far less than a station, give them a hostel. Iโ€™d like to see our playparks and green spaces maintained better, youth clubs and facilities reopened, providing activities which kids actually want to go to.

At the beginning of year, when Melksham got a splashpad, Devizes said yeah, we could that too, but, as I forecast at the time, it was brushed aside. Iโ€™d like to drive on flat local roads, rather than negotiating potholes like itโ€™s a lunar landscape. Iโ€™d like better road planning, infrastructure and affordable public transport, to avoid congestion. I want to park somewhere without taking out a bank loan. I want to see markets and The Shambles bustling with life, smells of street food and music. I want a free-thinking, flatpack and proactive council, funding sporting events and arts, and not idly watching as so-called charities throw folk with learning disabilities out of their homes.

And once we have achieved these, yes, Iโ€™d like a railway station, ta muchly. Not asking for much is it? Tee-hee, yeah, Iโ€™m hearing you, life isnโ€™t so simple, this is Devizes, not Shangri-La. That said, Iโ€™m uncertain if Shangri-La has a railway station, still, it manages, as we have done since Beeching waved his wand, to get by without one. My family of four, twenty quid down just getting to the station, now theyโ€™re looking at train ticket prices. Have you seen train ticket prices recently? Remain calm, but they do often come in triple figure sums. Iโ€™ve seen aeroplane tickets to Barcelona cheaper than a return to Paddington.

The big question is, then, how much will it all cost and who is footing the bill? Did we get this grant, and what was that for? I asked Tamara of Devizes Gateway Railway Station steering group.

โ€œThe Restoring Your Railway grant from the DfT is for the cost of the Strategic Outline Business Case only and is being supplemented by Wiltshire Council,โ€ she informed me. So already weโ€™ve all put some cost into it through our council tax. โ€œThereafter, funding would need to be secured for the rest of the Business Case process (Outline Business Case and Full Business Case) and then for the capital costs to build the station.โ€ Tamara added, โ€œwe are at the beginning of the process, but the fact that we have secure the grant monies from the DfT puts us in a good place. We now need to prove the business case.โ€

From there I was directed to a presentation made to the Devizes Area Board in November, which doesnโ€™t explain where the dosh is coming from. Iโ€™m only opting for a station if they promise I can drive the train! Just once. But more importantly, I honestly look forward to a time, if I make it to 2025 without Thomas the Tank Engine shooting me, when we could smash my piggy bank for a train ticket, I really do, but the bottom line is, it has to be affordable, for all, especially if the public is footing the bill to build the thing.

Answer the survey, with your thoughts, if you wish. But the jury is still out with me. Itโ€™s on the site where a certain member, who shall remain nameless, accused me of spamming when I first launched Devizine, and mysteriously moments later I was in Facebook jail. Of which, such general pettiness is neither here nor there, but I feel worthy of mentioning. I know what youโ€™re thinking, Iโ€™m still such a naughty boy!


Trending….

Are the Fire & Rescue Service Cutting Vital Flood Equipment?

Concern mounts after a petition was launched claiming vital flood equipment and training is being planned to be moved from fire stations from Chippenham and Trowbridge to Dorset, and Stratton in Swindon. You know me, usually I jumped at the chance to expose a transgression by authority, but on this occasion, as a response from Assistant Chief Fire Officer James Mahoney suggests the service is merely aligning the way in which all stations operate interchangeably, the jury is out on this one. I know right, impartiality; is this the new me?!

Not really. It gets rather technical, and I donโ€™t do technical. The last thing I will do is belittle the fire service for the grand job they do. So, as Iโ€™ve been asked to share news of the petition, like a real reporter, Iโ€™ll give you the low down from both sides of the argument, and itโ€™s up to if you choose to sign it; righty then?

Becky Montague, who started the petition argues, โ€œmembers of the public will have to wait an hour to be rescued safely, instead of eight minutes in the River Avon area, because Chief Fire Officer Ben Ansell has decided to remove vital equipment from Chippenham and Trowbridge stations to Dorset, and Stratton in Swindon. This will put the lives at risk of people caught in flooding in an area Mr Ansell knows to be of high risk.โ€

โ€œRemoving equipment and training from the firefighters means that they will respond but be unable to rescue people quickly and with the right tools. Rather than watch people die, they will be forced to carry out dangerous rescues without the vital safety equipment they need.โ€

โ€œThere is no flood risk in Swindon like there is in the Chippenham, Bradford-on-Avon and Trowbridge areas. Mr Ansell will put residents of Wiltshire at risk and put firefighters in danger.โ€

This sounds like cause for alarm, and Iโ€™m grateful for our reader bringing to my attention. Theyโ€™re concerned and angered, โ€œWe donโ€™t distribute emergency equipment based on geography we do it based on risk otherwise we would have a fire station in the middle of Salisbury plain, we donโ€™t do that because thereโ€™s no risk there,โ€ they informed, โ€œThe flooding risk is in the river Avon area not in Stratton in Swindon. Theyโ€™re going to put the council tax precept up again this year, what are Wiltshire residents going to get for that, other than the grateful thanks of Dorset residents for part-funding the service that they provide from the fire service?โ€

However, Assistant Chief Fire Officer James Mahoney had this response; โ€œA strategic review of the technical rescue provision of Dorset & Wiltshire Fire and Rescue Service has been carried out. This considered risk and demand across the whole Service area; evidence from historical incident data; geographical station locations; and neighbouring Service capability. A decision on the placement of these facilities is now being considered internally.โ€

 โ€œTechnical rescue includes technical search, rescue from swift water, rescue from height, bariatric rescue, confined space rescue and large animal rescue capability. There are currently six stations providing differing aspects of technical rescue across the two counties of Dorset and Wiltshire. In addition to these technical rescue stations, all fire stations have initial water safety equipment and training, and a large number of our stations also have wading team capability. The provisions at these six stations are not consistent, and most stations do not provide all of the capabilities listed above. As a combined Service, this is neither effective, efficient or resilient.โ€

 โ€œWhilst technical rescue is not a funded statutory duty for the Fire and Rescue Service, we recognise the importance of having this capability commensurate with the risks faced within our communities across the whole of Dorset and Wiltshire. We are looking to enhance, not diminish, our capability, allowing us a more strategic approach to the positioning of the key elements of technical rescue – which will also add greater resilience by aligning the way in which all stations operate interchangeably.

 โ€œStaff and representative bodies have been briefed, and given the opportunity to contribute their views throughout and engage in this process, and we will be carrying out public consultation on our draft Community Safety Plan for 2021-25 from 17 February to 13 May 2021.โ€

If I remember rightly, when our estate flooded some years ago, a fire service came from Yeovil to help, stating Wiltshire forces were preoccupied elsewhere. Understandably, this took some time for them arrive, but had it not been for the fire services to be integrated, it may not have happened at all. On the other hand, the dubious line from the Assistant Chief Fire Officerโ€™s statement, โ€œtechnical rescue is not a funded statutory duty for the Fire and Rescue Service,โ€ concerns me. What constitutes a technical rescue? And if itโ€™s not a statutory duty, why call yourself Fire and Rescue Service?

And, as the Gazette reports, โ€œSummerham and Seend Wiltshire councillor Jonathon Seed, who is also running for the Police and Crime Commissioner post, has pledged to take the case up with MPs saying the decision is outrageous,โ€ well, something is iffy with it; deffo.

Being a man of the people, who Iโ€™d like to hear the views of is an actual local firefighter. Your anonymity will be respected if you contact us; but we need the opinion of the men on the ground. In general, Iโ€™m at my tetherโ€™s end with bureaucratic nonsense from pen-pushers, and I urge any firefighter concerned to please do let us know.

Hereโ€™s the petition, should you decide to sign it: https://www.change.org/p/dorset-wiltshire-fire-authority-stop-the-removal-of-vital-rescue-equipment-from-wiltshire-fire-stations


Rowdefest 26 Lineup Reveal!

Drizzly Sundayโ€ฆagain. Iโ€™ve just finished designing the poster, so allow me to reveal the lineup for Rowdefest this coming May, might cheer us up aโ€ฆ

Big Bath Sleep-Out: At Home

Avoid the irony, sadly this year Bathโ€™s annual big sleep-out event in Alice Park cannot be for obvious reasons. But homelessness during a lockdown is no joke. Julian House and Bath Boules Charitable Trust lay down a more local gauntlet, inviting you to join in with a sleep-out in your garden, on your balcony or your kitchen floor, sticking to your household/social bubble.

Itโ€™s okay, calm down, itโ€™s not until 5th March, when hopefully weather will be more clement, a reality homeless donโ€™t get. So, to stand up against homelessness, challenge yourself to sleep out for just one night at home and help raise vital funds and awareness for men and women forced to do so every night.

Last year they provided life-changing support to over 1,400 vulnerable individuals who were experiencing, or at risk of, homelessness across Bath, Bristol, and the South West. Itโ€™s a grim realisation, that without support like this, the life expectancy of a long-term homeless person is just 45 years. By sleeping out, you can change that.

On top of everyday challenges, the on-going impact of Coronavirus has had a devastating effect on the men, women, and children in care. Collectively you can help provide the lifesaving services and support they so desperately need right now.

More details here



Agricultural Appropriation with Monkey Bizzle

There’s no sophomore slump for Monkey Bizzle; prolific in their art, these rural chav-choppers return with a second album, Agricultural Appropriation, only five years and a kazillion bongs after their debut, Idiot Music, and it be gurt lush, shaggerโ€ฆ. Not on the guesstimate I’ve passed a thousand plays of Oi Mate, their tune from Idiotโ€ฆ

Doctor Faustus Sells His Soulโ€ฆ. in Devizes!

Featured Image:@jenimeadephotography Just another rainy Saturday afternoon in Devizes, whereby I watched a profound fellow dramatically sacrifice himself to the devil, then popped to Morrisons for a Toblerone! The supermarket felt insignificant and plastic after the epic conclusion of Doctor Faustus at the Wharf Theatre, which opens on Monday 26th and runs until Saturday 31stโ€ฆ

Devizes Sammi Evans in the Shadow of a Debut Single

Being a singer in a tribute or covers band is nerve-wracking. Though tributes can hide behind a mask, a cover band frontperson can be reassured only by the notion that friends are backing them; blame the drummer! But a soloist, singing their mind acoustically is in another ballpark. Stripped back, alone, exposing your innermost thoughts,โ€ฆ

Chandra Finds Heaven on Earth

Usually I just write what I think, but if I had a point-scoring system this new single from Bristol-based indie-pop outfit Chandra would tick every box. Itโ€™s called Heaven on Earth; if Belinda Carlise made it, Chandra rocked it! Punchy, tick. Find that perfect hook, tick. Subtly righteous narrative, tick. Balance pithy narrative with equalโ€ฆ

Peter Gabriel to Release Live at Womad Album

Peter Gabriel – โ€˜Live At WOMAD 1982โ€™ will be released on 8th May 2026. It was a simple idea; to create a festival out of all the brilliant music and art made all over the world, stuff made outside of the mainstream โ€“ music that wasnโ€™t getting on the radio and was even harder toโ€ฆ

Fulltone โ€˜26 to Ignite Wiltshire with an Epic Weekend of Live Music

Now in its seventh year, and at its new and better venue, Park Farm on the edge of Devizes, itโ€™s full steam ahead for The Fulltone Festival โ€˜26. From the 11thโ€“12th July Fulltone is set to ignite Wiltshire with an epic weekend of live musicโ€ฆ.. Promising a โ€œspectacular, joy-filled weekend of live music which bringsโ€ฆ

Sketchbook Records Release Chasing Dolls EP

Out of my comfort zone on this one; being aging punk-ish, emo is a subgenre post my better days. Though the ever-reliable Wikipedia suggests, as a term, it was coined in the late eighties. It either travelled leisurely by airship across the pond, or Iโ€™ve had my head up my arseโ€ฆ. If Iโ€™m probably bestโ€ฆ

Early Bird Tickets go on Sale for Park Farm Music Festival in Devizes

If Devizes Scooter Rally has already established its base at Whistley Roadโ€™s Park Farm and Full-Tone are moving to these new pastures, last year the site saw a superb inaugural festival of its own making, Park Farm Music Festival, with the expert knowledge of the good folk who brought us Mantonfest. Itโ€™s happening again thisโ€ฆ

Devizes Issues Wants You!

Dubiously biased and ruled with an iron fist, the mighty admin of the once popular Devizes Facebook group, Devizes Issues, is using the iconic Great War โ€œLord Kitchener Wants Youโ€ recruitment poster by Alfred Leete to plead for volunteer moderators; jump to it, comrades! Why? Wouldnโ€™t a picture of some Care Bears, or an AIโ€ฆ

Wiltshire Council to spend ยฃ1.1m on digital devices so struggling families can access remote education

Wiltshire Council is allocating ยฃ1.1m of government COVID-19 funding to buy laptops and digital devices for disadvantaged pupils who currently canโ€™t join classmates learning from home.

The decision to allocate the funding to buy around 2,500 devices means these children will be able to access their school lessons from home rather than have to attend school to do so.

Currently pupils who do not have a laptop can attend school alongside children of key workers and vulnerable students. The new approach will help manage school spaces and continue to help prevent COVID-19 transmission.

Cllr Laura Mayes, Cabinet Member for Children, Education and Skills, said: โ€œIt is essential our children and young people can continue to be taught and have an education in these difficult times as well as being able to maintain links with friends and have face to face contact with their teachers. With the news this week that schools will close we are aware there are families and young people out there who are left without the means to access that education and this is not acceptable.

โ€œBy using our government COVID-19 funding in this way we are ensuring families are not disadvantaged and can join their peers working from home. We will be working with our schools to ensure those children who need devices can access them.

โ€œI know schools have already been receiving many requests for laptops and some are sending children into school as under the new government rules you can attend. By providing additional laptops we will be freeing up those school places for other pupils who need to be in school.

โ€œAcross Wiltshire we have some great charity work happening with many community minded charities offering to recycle second hand laptops so they can be used in schools and I would like to thank them for this extraordinary effort.โ€


During the summer term Wiltshire Council distributedย 1,232 devices provided by the DfE across 138 schools which were designated specifically for disadvantaged and vulnerable children and young people. Currently secondary schools are accessing further allocated devices directly via the DfE and the council is reviewing opportunities to ensure a further reach so children in need have access to the tools for remote learning including tablets, laptops and wifi and data. The DfE has also announced that all primary schools will be able to order laptops and tablets by 15 January and the DfE will contact all primary schools by that date to invite them to order devices.

Wiltshire Council will also be working with schools following the government news that schools, trusts and local authorities can request mobile data increases for disadvantaged children and young people who do not have fixed broadband, if they cannot afford additional data for their devices and are experiencing disruption to their face-to-face education.

Schools are also working with families directly to ensure Free School Meals continues. For those families who are not sure if they are eligible for Free School Meals they can check here.  


Wiltshire Council Ask Gecko For Road-Crossing Song.

Not to make you feel old or anything, but Tufty, the safe road-crossing squirrel turns sixty this year, the Green Cross Code Man is not far behind at 51. Not too long before they’ll need some assistance crossing the road themselves, I don’t doubt!

Popular as retrospection is, Wiltshire Council have rightfully recognised a CJI Tufty makeover might not be best, and the Green Cross Code man is fighting his own conflicting interests between the Sith and Jedi.

How to teach kids to cross the road safely, needs a fresh approach….

They assigned Creative Studios to come up with this little masterpiece of a green cross code safety vid, and I couldn’t think of anyone more apt than the mighty Gecko to produce the song.

Yep, this works on so many levels. “I loved being a part of this project,” Gecko said, “I love the variety that this music life brings.” Well done Gecko, and a great choice by Wiltshire Council.

Devizine in Lockdown, again.

Here’s our deal, as I see it given new lockdown restrictions.

We have an annual reach of approximately 50K, over 80% of which are local. Whatever Devizine can do to help you, we will, but you must let me know about what you’re doing and engaged in for me to promote it. I’m unable to spend every moment on social media sourcing your stories.

Advertise your business, school, charity, online event, FREE for lockdown duration. Just send me details. This is available for small local businesses and at the editor’s discretion. We can put adverts on all published articles. We can cover your activities in articles and features, and we will share these across social media.

If you are engaged in any supportive projects, notify me so we can spread the word.

If you’re in creative arts, music, art, sports, and fundraising, whether crowdfunding, help in promoting live streams, recordings, online exhibitions and any other projects, we can and will help.

Please consider, if you can, making a donation to help the site keep running and improving.This you can do at http://www.devizine.com/about

You can email devizine@hotmail.com or message the Facebook page, you can tweet @devizine1 – Together we can pull through this.

Here we go again.

Thanks, Darren.

Oh, an important note I forgot to add, thanks to the edit function here! Please, if I fail to respond to emails and messages, feel free to nudge me. Things do sometimes get missed and I’d dread you to think I’m ignoring you! I don’t view it as impolite to ask if I remembered to do this or that, ask the wife, I can be forgetful!! ๐Ÿ™‚

Devizineโ€™s Review of 2020; You Canโ€™t Polish a Turd!

On Social and Political Mattersโ€ฆ…

For me the year can be summed up by one Tweet from the Eurosceptic MEP and creator of the Brexit Party, Nigel Farage. A knob-jockey inspired into politics when Enoch Powell visited his private school, of which ignored pleas from an English teacher who wrote to the headmaster encouraging him to reconsider Farageโ€™s appointed prefect position, as he displayed clear signs of fascism. The lovable patriot, conspiring, compulsive liar photographed marching with National Front leader Martin Webster in 1979, who strongly denies his fascist ethos despite guest-speaking at a right-wing populist conference in Germany, hosted by its leader, the granddaughter of Adolf Hitlerโ€™s fiancรฉ; yeah, him.

He tweeted โ€œChristmas is cancelled. Thank you, China.โ€ It magically contains every element of the utter diabolical, infuriating and catastrophic year weโ€™ve most likely ever seen; blind traditionalist propaganda, undeniable xenophobia, unrefuted misinformation, and oh yes, the subject is covid19 related.

And now the end is near, an isolated New Yearโ€™s Eve of a year democracy prevailed against common sense. The bigoted, conceited blue-blooded clown we picked to lead us up our crazy-paved path of economic self-annihilation has presented us with an EU deal so similar to the one some crazy old hag, once prime minster delivered to us two years back itโ€™s uncanny, and highly amusing that Bojo the clown himself mocked and ridiculed it at the time. Iโ€™d wager itโ€™s just the beginning.

You can’t write humour this horrifically real, the love child of Stephen King and Spike Milligan couldn’t.

Still, I will attempt to polish the turd and review the year, as itโ€™s somewhat tradition here on Devizine. The mainstay of the piece, to highlight what weโ€™ve done, covered and accomplished with our friendly website of local entertainment and news and events, yet to holistically interrelate current affairs is unavoidable.

We have even separated the monster paragraphs with an easier, monthly photo montage, for the hard of thinking.

January

You get the impression it has been no walk in the park, but minor are my complaints against what others have suffered. Convenient surely is the pandemic in an era brewing with potential mass hysteria, the need to control a population paramount. An orthornavirae strain of a respiratory contamination first reported as infecting chickens in the twenties in North Dakota, a snip at 10,400km away from China.

Decidedly bizarre then, an entire race could be blamed and no egg fried rice bought, as featured in Farageโ€™s audacious Tweet, being itโ€™s relatively simple to generate in a lab, inconclusively originated at Wuhanโ€™s Huanan Seafood Wholesale Market, rather spread from there, and debatably arrived via live bat or pangolin, mostly used in traditional Chinese medicine, a pseudoscience only the narrowminded minority in China trusts.

Ah, inconsistent pseudoscience, embellished, unfalsifiable claims, void of orderly practices when developing hypotheses and notably causing hoodwinked cohorts. Yet if we consider blaming an ethos, rather than a race, perhaps we could look closer to home for evidence of this trend of blind irrationality. Truth in Science, for example, an English bunch of Darwin-reputing deluded evangelicals who this year thought itโ€™d be a grand and worthy idea to disguise their creationist agenda and pitch their preposterous pseudoscientific theory that homosexuality is a disease of the mind which can be cured with electro-shock treatment to alter the mind inline with the bodyโ€™s gender, rather than change the body to suit the mindโ€™s gender orientation, to schoolchildren!

Yep, these bible-bashing fruit-bats, one lower than flat earth theorists actually wrote to headmasters encouraging their homophobia to be spread to innocent minds, only to be picked up by a local headmaster of the LGBTQ community. Hereโ€™s an article on Devizine which never saw the light of day. Said that Truth in Scienceโ€™s Facebook page is chockful with feedback of praise and appreciation, my comments seemed to instantly disappear, my messages to them unanswered. All I wanted was a fair-sided evaluation for an article, impossible if you zip up.

Justly, no one trusts me to paint an unbiased picture. This isnโ€™t the Beeb, as I said in our 2017 annual review: The chances of impartiality here, equals the chances of Tories sticking to their manifesto. Rattling cages is fun, thereโ€™s no apologies Iโ€™m afraid, if I rattled yours, it just means youโ€™re either mean or misguided.

Herein lies the issue, news travels so fast, we scroll through social media unable to digest and compose them to a greater picture, let alone muster any trust in what we read. Iโ€™m too comfortable to reside against the grain, everyoneโ€™s at it. I reserve my right to shamelessly side with the people rather than tax-avoiding multinationals and malevolent political barons; so now you know.

February

If you choose to support these twats thatโ€™s your own lookout, least someone should raise the alarm; youโ€™d have thought ignoring World Health Organisation advise and not locking down your country until your mates made a packet on horseracing bets is systematic genocide and the government should be put on trial for this, combined with fraud and failure of duty. If not, ask why weโ€™re the worst hit country in the world with this pandemic. Rather the current trend where the old blame the young, the young blame the old, the whites blame the blacks, the thin blame the fat, when none of us paid much attention to restrictions because they were delivered in a confused, nonsensical manner by those who don’t either, and mores to the pity, believe they’re above the calling of oppressive regulations.

If you choose to support these twats, youโ€™re either a twat too, or trust what you read by those standing to profit from our desperation; ergo, twats. Theres no getting away from the fact you reep what you sow; and the harvest of 2020 was a colossal pile of twat.


Onto Devizineโ€ฆ. kind of.

For me what started as a local-based entertainment zine-like blog, changed into the only media I trust, cos I wrote the bollocks! But worser is the general obliteration of controversy, criticism and debate in other media. An argument lost by a conformer is shadowed behind a meme, or followed up with a witch hunt, a torrent of personal abuse and mockery, usually by inept grammar by a knuckle-dragging keyboard warrior with caps-lock stuck on; buy a fucking copy of the Oxford Guide to English Grammar or we’re all going to hell in a beautiful pale green boat.

We’re dangerously close to treating an Orwellian nightmare as a self-help guide, and despite fascists took a knockdown in the USA and common sense prevailed, the monster responded with a childish tantrum; what does this tell you? The simple fact, far right extremism is misled and selfish delinquency which history proves did no good to anyone, ever. Still the charade marches on, one guy finished a Facebook debate sharing a photo of his Boris โ€œget Brexit doneโ€ tea-towel. I pondered when the idiot decided a photo of his tea towel would suffice to satisfy his opinion and convince others, before or after the wave of irony washed over his head in calling them Muppets.

I hate the term, itโ€™s offensive. Offensive to Jim Hensonโ€™s creations; try snowflake or gammon, both judgemental sweeping generalisations but personally inoffensive to any individual, aside Peppa Pig. I wager you wander through Kent’s lorry park mocking the drivers and calling them snowflakes rather than tweeting; see how far you get.

So, the initial lockdown in March saw us bonded and dedicated, to the cause. We ice-skated through it, developed best methods to counteract the restrictions and still abide by them; it was kind of nice, peaceful and environmentally less impacting. But cracks in the ice developed under our feet, the idea covid19 was a flash in pan, akin to when Blitz sufferers asserted itโ€™d all be over by Christmas, waned as we came to terms, we were in it for the duration.

Yet comparisons to WWII end there, lounging on the sofa for three months with Netflix and desperate peasants delivering essential foodstuff, like oysters, truffles and foie gras is hardly equivalent to the trench warfare of Normandy. Hypocritical is me, not only avoiding isolation as, like a nurse, my labour was temporarily clapped as key worker in March, I figured my site would only get hits if I wrote something about Covid19, and my ignorance to what the future resulted in clearly displayed in spoofy, ill-informed articles, Corona Virus and Devizine; Anyone got a Loo Roll? on the impending panic-buying inclination, and later, I Will Not Bleat About Coronavirus, Write it Out a Hundred Timesโ€ฆ

The only thing I maintained in opinion to the subject, was that it should be light-hearted and amusing; fearing if we lose our sense of humour, all is lost. Am I wrong? Probably, itโ€™s been a very serious year.

It was my first pandemic-related mention, hereafter nearly every article paid reference to it, no matter how disparate; itโ€™s the tragedy which occupied the planet. But letโ€™s go back, to oblivious January, when one could shake hands and knew where the pub was. Melksham got a splashpad, Devizes top councillors bleated it wasnโ€™t fair, and they wanted a splashpad too. They planned ripping out the dilapidated brick shithouses on the Green and replacing it with a glorious splashpad, as if they cared about the youth of the town. I reported the feelings of grandeur, Splashpad, Iโ€™m all over it, Pal! A project long swept under the carpet, replaced with the delusion weโ€™ll get an affordable railway station. As I said, convenient surely is the pandemic.

So many projects, so many previews of events, binned. Not realising at the time my usual listing, Half Term Worries Over; things to do with little ones during February half-termโ€ฆ would come to an abrupt halt. Many events previewed, the first being the Mayoral Fundraising Events, dates set for the Imberbus, and Chef Peter Vaughan & Indecisionโ€™s Alzheimerโ€™s Support Chinese New Year celebration, to name but a few, Iโ€™m unaware if they survived or not.

March


On Musicโ€ฆ…

But it was the cold, early days of winter, when local concerns focused more on the tragic fire at Waiblingen Way. In conjunction with the incredible Liz Denbury, who worked tirelessly organising fundraising and ensuring donations of essentials went to the affected folk, we held a bash in commemoration and aid down that there Cellar Bar; remember?

It was in fact an idea by Daydream Runaways, who blew the low roof off the Cellar Bar at the finale. But variety was the order of the evening, with young pianist prodigy Will Foulstone kicking us off, opera with the amazing Chole Jordan, Irish folk with Mirko and Bran of the Celtic Roots Collective and the acoustic goodness of Ben Borrill. Thanks also has to go to the big man Mike Barham who set up the technical bits before heading off to a paid gig. At the time I vowed this will be the future of our events, smaller but more than the first birthday bash; never saw it coming, insert sad-face emoji.

We managed to host another gig, though, after lockdown when shopping was encouraged by In:Devizes, group Devizes Retailers and Independents, a assemblage of businesses set up to promote reopening of town. We rocked up in Brogans and used their garden to have a summer celebration. Mike set up again, and played this time, alongside the awesome Cath and Gouldy, aka, Sound Affects on their way to the Southgate, and Jamie R Hawkins accompanied Tamsin Quin with a breath-taking set. It was lovely to see friends on the local music scene, but it wasnโ€™t the reopening for live music we anticipated.

Before all this live music was the backbone of Devizine, between Andy and myself we previewed Bradford Roots Music Festival, MantonFest, White Horse Operaโ€™s Spring Concert, Neeld Hallโ€™s Tribute to Eddie Cochran, and the return of Asa Murphy. We reviewed the Long Street Blues Club Weekender, Festival of Winter Ales, Chris Oโ€™Leary at Three Crowns, Jon Walsh, Phil Jinder Dewhurst, Mule and George Wilding at The White Bear, Skandalโ€™s at Marlboroughโ€™s Lamb, and without forgetting the incredible weekly line-up at the Southgate; Jack Grace Band, Arnie Cottrell Tendency, Skedaddle, Navajo Dogs, Lewis Clark & The Essentials, King Street Turnaround, Celtic Roots Collective, Jamie, Tamsin, Phil, and Vince Bell.

The collection of Jamie R Hawkins, Tamsin Quin and Phil Cooper at the Gate was memorable, partly because theyโ€™re great, partly because, it was the last time we needed to refer to them as a collection (save for the time when Phil gave us the album, Revelation Games.) Such was the fate of live music for all, it was felt by their newly organised trio, The Lost Trades, whose debut gig came a week prior to lockdown, at the Pump, which our new writer Helen Robertson covered so nicely.

For me, the weekend before the doom and gloom consisted of a check-in at the Cavy, where the Day Breakers played, only to nip across to Devizes Sports Club, where the incredible Ruzz Guitar hosted a monster evening of blues, with his revue, Peter Gage, Innes Sibun and Jon Amor. It was a blowout, despite elbow greetings, I never figured itโ€™d be the last.

It was a knee-jerk reaction which made me set up a virtual festival on the site. It was radical, but depleted due to my inability to keep up with an explosion of streamed events, where performers took to Facebook, YouTube sporadically, and other sites on a national scale, and far superior tech knowhow took over; alas there was Zoom. I was happy with this, and prompted streaming events such as Swindonโ€™s โ€œStaticโ€ Shuffle, and when PSG Choirs Showed Their True Lockdown Colours. Folk would message me, ask me how the virtual festival was going to work, and to be honest, I had no idea how to execute the idea, but it was worth a stab.

One thing which did change, musically, was we lowered our borders, being as the internet is outernational and local bands were now being watched by people from four corners of the world, Devizine began reviewing music sourced worldwide. Fair enough, innit?

The bleeding hearts of isolated artists and musicians, no gigs gave them time on their hands to produce some quality music, therefore our focus shifted to reviewing them, although we always did review records. Early local reviews of 2020 came from NerveEndings with the single Muddy Puddles, who later moved onto an album, For The People. Daydream Runawaysโ€™ live version of Light the Spark and Talk in Codeโ€™s Like That, who fantastically progressed through lockdown to a defining eighties electronica sound with later singles Taste the Sun and Secret.

We notified you of Sam Bishopโ€™s crowdfunding for a quarantine song, One of a Kind, which was released and followed by Fallen Sky. Albums came too, we covered, Billy Green 3โ€™s Still in January, and The Grated Hits of the Real Cheesemakers followed, With the former, later came a nugget of Billy Greenโ€™s past, revealing some lost demos of his nineties outfit, Still, evidently what the album was named after.

Whereas the sublime soul of Mayyadda from Minnesota was the first international artist featured this year, and from Shrewsbury, our review of Cosmic Raysโ€™ album Hard to Destroy extended our presence elsewhere in the UK, I sworn to prioritise local music, with single reviews of Phil Cooperโ€™s Without a Sound, TheTruzzy Boysโ€™ debut Summertime, Courage (Leave it Behind), a new single from Talk in Code, and for Daydream Runawaysโ€™ single Gravity we gave them an extensive interview. This was followed by Crazy Stupid Love and compiled for an EP, Dreamlands, proving theyโ€™re a band continuously improving.

April

Probably the most diverse single around spring though was an epic drum n bass track produced right here in Devizes, featuring the vocals of Pewseyโ€™s Cutsmith. Though while Falling by ReTone took us to new foundations, I ran a piece on the new blues sounds locally, as advised by Sheer Musicโ€™s Kieran Moore. Sheer, like all music promoters were, understandably, scrambling around in the dark for the beginnings of lockdown, streaming stuff. It wasnโ€™t long before they became YouTube presenters! The Sheer podcast really is something special, in an era leaving local musicians as dry as Ghandiโ€™s flip-flop, they present a show to make โ€˜em moist!

Spawned from this new blues article, one name which knocked me for six, prior to their YouTube adventures, was Devizes-own Joe Edwards. I figured now I was reviewing internationally; would it be fair to local musicians to suggest a favourite album of the year? However, Joeโ€™s Keep on Running was always a hot contender from the start, and despite crashing the borders on what we will review, I believe it still is my favourite album of the year.

Other top local albums, many inspired from lockdown came flowing, perhaps the most sublime was Interval by Swindonโ€™s reggae keyboardist virtuoso, Erin Bardwell. The prolific Bardwell later teamed with ex-Hotknive Dave Clifton for a project called Man on the Bridge.

Perhaps the most spacey, Devizesโ€™ Cracked Machineโ€™s third outing, Gates of Keras. Top local singles? Well, George Wilding never let us down with Postcard, from a Motorway, and after lockdown reappeared with his band Wilding, for Falling Dreams and later with a solo single, You Do You. Jon Amor was cooking with Peppercorn, which later led to a great if unexpected album, Remote Control.

There was a momentary lapse of reason, that live streaming was the musical staple diet of the now, when Mr Amor climbed out onto his roof to perform, like an ageless fifth Beatle. Blooming marvellous.

Growing up fast, Swindonโ€™s pop singer Lottie J blasted out a modern pop classic with Cold Water, and no one could ignore Kirsty Clinchโ€™s atmospheric country-pop goodness with Fit the Shoe.

Maybe though it wasnโ€™t the ones recorded before, but our musicians on the live circuit coming out with singles to give them some pocket money, which was the best news. I suggest you take note of Ben Borrillโ€™s Takes A Little Time, for example.

I made new friends through music, reviewing so many singles and EPs; Bathโ€™s Long Coats, and JAYโ€™s Sunset Remedy. Swindonโ€™s composer Richard Wileman, guitarist Ryan Webb, and unforgettable Paul Lappin, who, after a couple of singles would later release the amazing acoustic Britpop album The Boy Who Wanted to Fly. Dirty and Smooth and Atari Pilot too, the latter gave us to cool singles, Right Crew, Wrong Captain, and later, Blank Pages. To Calne for End of Story and Chris Tweedie, and over the downs to Marlborough with Jon Vealeโ€™s Flick the Switch. I even discovered Hew Miller, a hidden gem in our own town.

May

But we geographically go so much further these days, even if not physically much more than taking the bins out. Outside our sphere we covered Essexโ€™s Mr B & The Wolf, Limerickโ€™s Emma Langford, Londonโ€™s Gecko, and from the US, Shuffle & Bang, and Jim White. Johnny Lloyd, Skates & Wagons, My Darling Clementine, Micko and the Mellotronics, Typhoidmary, Frank Turner and Jon Snodgrass, Mango Thomas, Beans on Toast, Tankus the Henge; long may the list continue.

Bombino though, the tuareggae artist really impressed me, but I donโ€™t like to pick a favourite, rather to push us onto another angle. I began reviewing stuff sent via my Boot Boy radio show, and covered a ska scene blossoming in South America. But as well as Neville Staple Bandโ€™s single Lockdown, The Bighead, the Bionic Rats, and Hugo Lobo teaming up with Lynval Golding and Val Douglas, we found reggae in Switzerland through Fruits Records, the awesome Cosmic Shuffling and progressive 808 Delavega.

So much music, is it going on a bit? Okay Iโ€™ll change the record, if you pardon the pun, but not until Iโ€™ve mentioned The Instrumental Sounds Of Ruzz Guitarโ€™s Blues Revue, naturally, Sound Affectsโ€™ album Ley Lines, Tunnel Rat refurbing their studio, and Bristolโ€™s freshest new hip hop act The Scribes. Ah, pause for breath.

Oh, and outside too, we did get a breather from lockdown and tiers, all Jamies for me, Mr R Hawkins was my first outing at the Gate and followed by Jamie Williams and the Roots Collective. Sad to have missed Two Man Ting and when The Big Yellow Bus Rocked the Gazebo, but hey, I thought we were out of the deep water.

June

Splashed straight back in again; โ€œtiersโ€ this time, sounds nicer than lockdown. Who knows what 2021 will bring, a vaccine, two vaccines, a mesh of both despite being ill-advised by experts? Just jab me, bitch, taxi me to the nearest gig, if venues still exist, by spring and Iโ€™ll shut up about it.


On Artsโ€ฆ..

Bugger, Iโ€™m going to need Google maps to find my local boozer. But yeah, they, whoever they are, think weโ€™re all about music, but we cover anything arts and entertainment, you know? We previewed Andy Hamilton coming to Swindonโ€™s Wyvern, Josie Long coming to Bath, The Return of the Wharf Theatre, and the county library tours of Truth Sluth: Epistemological Investigations for the Modern Age. Surely the best bit was being sent a private viewing of a new movie, Onus, by the Swindon filmmakers who gave us Follow the Crows.

I shared poems by Gail Foster, and reviewed her book Blossom. Desperate for subject matter I rewrote a short story Dizzy Heights. I featured artists Bryony Cox and Alan Watters, both selling their wares for the NHS, Ros Hewittโ€™s Glass Art open studio, Small Wonders Art Auction in aid of Arts Together and Asa Murphy published a childrenโ€™s book, The Monkey with no Bum! I dunno, don’t ask.

July


On Foodโ€ฆ

Despite my Oliver Twist pleads, we never get enough on the subject of grub. January saw us preview Peter Vaughanโ€™s Chinese New Year dinner party in aid of Alzheimerโ€™s Support and with music from Indecision, we covered DOCAโ€™s Festival of Winter Ales, and looked forward to the Muck & Dunderโ€™s Born 2 Rum festival, which was cancelled.

From here the dining experience reverted to takeaways, and I gave Sujayโ€™s Jerk Pan Kitchen at big shout, and thought it best to wait until things reopened before singing Massimos’ praise, but I guess for now I should mention their awesome takeaway service next.

The Gourmet Brownie Kitchen supplied my welcomed Father’s Day gift, even nipped over to Swindon, in search of their best breakfast at the Butcher’s cafe, and recently I featured vegan blogger, Jill. Still though I need more food articles, as restaurants should take note, theyโ€™re extremely popular posts. Sadly, our while self-explanatory article, โ€œWe Cannot Let our Young People go Hungry; those locally rallying the call to #endchildfoodpoverty,โ€ did quite well, at third most popular, the earlier โ€œEat Out to Help Out, Locally, Independently,โ€ was our highest hitting of all; giving a sombre redefining of the term, dying to go out.

Back to my point though, food articles do so well, Iโ€™m not just after a free lunch, or maybe I am. But here, look, the fourth most popular article this year was our review of New Society, which was actually from 2019. Does lead us on nicely to the touchy subject of stats this year.

August


On Stats, Spoofs and the Futureโ€ฆ.

As well as an opportunity to review what weโ€™ve done over the past year and to slag off the government, I also see this rather lengthy article which no one reads till the end of, a kind of AGM. It should be no surprise or disappointment, being this is a whatโ€™s-on guide, and being nothing was actually on, our stats failed to achieve what we hit in 2019. Though, it is with good news I report we did much better than 2018, and in the last couple of months hits have given me over the stats I predicted. Devizine is still out there, still a thing; just donโ€™t hug it, for fuckโ€™s sake.

I did, sometime ago, have a meeting with the publishers of Life In, RedPin. You mayโ€™ve seen Life in Devizes or various other local town names. The idea to put Devizine into print is something Iโ€™ve toyed with, but as it stands it seems unlikely. My pitch was terrible, my funds worse. If I did this it would cease to be a hobby and become a fulltime business, Iโ€™d need contributors, a sales department, Iโ€™d need an expert or ten, skills and a budget for five issues ahead of myself, and I tick none of those boxes. A risk too risky, I guess that’s why they call a risk a risk, watching the brilliant Ocelot reduced to online, publications suffer, the local newspaper house scrambling for news and desperately coming up with national clickbait gobbledygook, I know now is not the time to lick slices of tree with my wares.

So, for the near future I predict trickling along as ever. Other than irrational bursts of enthusiasm that this pandemic is coming to an end, Iโ€™ve given in updating our event calendar until such really happens. And it will, every clown has a silver lifeboat, or something like that.

September

Most popular articles then, as I said, desperation to return to normal is not just me, โ€œEat Out to Help Out, Locally, Independently,โ€ was our highest hitting of all, whereas โ€œWe Cannot Let our Young People go Hungry; those locally rallying the call to #endchildfoodpoverty,โ€ came in third. Nestled between two foodie articles our April Fools spoof came second. As much as it nags me, I have to hold up my hands and thank Danny Kruger for being a good sport. He shared our joke, Boris to Replace Danny Kruger as Devizes MP.

We do love a spoof though, and given a lack of events, I had time to rattle some off, A Pictorial Guide to Those Exempt from Wearing a Facemask, Guide to Local Facebook Groups pt1 (never followed up) The Tiers of a Clown, Sign the Seagull Survey, Bob! and Danny featuring again in The Ladies Shout as I go by, oh Danny, Whereโ€™s Your Facemask?! all being as popular as my two-part return of the once celebrated No Surprises columns, No Surprises Locked Down in Devizes.

Perhaps not so popular spoofs were The Worldโ€™s Most Famous Fences! and Worst Pop Crimes of the Mid-Eighties! But what the hell, I enjoyed writing them. 


On Other News and Miscellaneous Articlesโ€ฆ…

I was right though, articles about lockdown or how weโ€™re coping were gratefully received, and during this time, a needed assurance we werenโ€™t becoming manically depressed or found a new definition of bored. Devizes together in Lockdown, After the Lock Down, Wiltshire is not Due a second Lockdown, the obvious but rather than bleating on the subject, how we celebrated VE Day in Devizes & Rowde, the Devizes Scooter Club auctioning their rally banner for the NHS, Town Council raising ยฃ750 to support the Devizes Mayorโ€™s Charities, DOCA Announce Next Yearโ€™s Carnival & Street Festival Dates, DOCAโ€™s Window Wanderland, and a Drive-In Harvest Festival! to boot. Town Council making Marlborough High Street a safer place, all came alongside great hope things would change, and pestering why not: The State of the Thing: Post Lockdown Devizine and How We Can Help, Open Music Venues, or Do They Hate Art? Opinion: House Party Organiser in Devizes Issued with ยฃ10,000 Fine.

 If Who Remembers our First Birthday Bash? Saw me reminiscing, I went back further when raves begun to hit the news. Covered it with Opinion: The End and Reawakening of Rave, and asked old skool ravers Would you Rave Through Covid? But we also highlighted others not adhering to restrictions With Rule of Six and Effects on Local Hunting and Blood Sports, it was nice to chat with Wiltshire Hunt Sabs.

October

Controversy always attracts a crowd, but couldnโ€™t help myself highlighting misdoings. From internet scams, like The Artist Melinda Copyright Scam, tolocal trouble, Rowde Villagers Rally in Support of Residential Centre Facility, for instance, Sheer Musicโ€™s MVT Open Letter to Government, Help Pewsey Mum on her Campaign to free her Children from Abduction, important stuff like that. We try to help where we can, honest.

Most controversial though, me thinks, was our poor attempt at coverage of the international BLM issue. Iโ€™ve been waffling enough already to get into how I feel personally; been writing this โ€œsummaryโ€ for what feels like eons, time to shut up and advise you read these articles yourself, because no matter how you fair on the argument, xenophobia affects us all, even in the sticks. We therefore had a chat with BLM in the Stix and did a three-part look at the issue, the third part a conclusion and the middle bit, well, that came in light of Urchfont Parish Council turning down a youth art display; what a pompous notion highlighting the issue on a local level.

But campaigns and fundraising came in thick and fast, despite nought cash in anyoneโ€™s pockets to follow them up. I understand, but we featured Go Operation Teddy Bear, Devizes Wide Community Yard Sale, Hero Wayne Cherry Back in Action! Lucieโ€™s Haircut Fundraiser for the Little Princess Trust, Crusader Vouchers, Juliaโ€™s House Gameathon, Devizes for Europe launching โ€œSay #YES2ARealDealโ€ campaign, and of course, our superheroine Carmellaโ€™s ongoing campaigns.

November


In conclusionโ€ฆ.

It has, in conclusion, been a hectic year, without the need for live music reviews, though some mightโ€™ve been nice! Hereโ€™s to a better day. We reserve our right to support local arts, music, and business, whatever the weather, and pandemic. We offered you, on top of the aforementioned; Fatherโ€™s Day; Keeping Ideas Local, Floating Record Shop Moored on Kennet & Avon, Devizes Town Band Comes to You for Remembrance and Zoom Like an Egyptian: Wiltshire Museum Half-Term Activities! to name but a few in the wake of our move to online events, although theyโ€™ll never stream as effectively as being pissed in a pub alcove unable to find the loo.

We also did our easy-reading list type features which are the trend; Top Twenty Local Music CDs For Christmas and Fairy-Tale of New Park Street; And Better Local Christmas Songs! I went on my Devizine Christmas Shopping Challenge, and tried to tweak the website to include podcasts to fund our musicians.

Yeah, that one is put on hold, I couldnโ€™t do it as I saw able to, but it needs work and Iโ€™ve another plan up my sleeve, just takes a bit of planning is all, which I guess is why they call it a plan in the first fucking place! You did blag a Free Afro-Beat, Cumbia and Funk Mix out of the deal. Maybe I could do more, but upwards and onwards, Devizine is now operating as both international music zine and local affairs. I maybe could separate them, but this means building a new audience and starting over. I like it as it is, and besides, Iโ€™m open to feedback, love to hear what you reckon, and will promise to act on suggestions, which is more than I can say for this fucking, cockwomble-led government; just leave it there shall we?!

The only gripe is that I ask that you have to believe in what Iโ€™m trying to do and supply me with the news, what youโ€™re doing, creating or getting narked about, else I donโ€™t know about it; hacked off with Face-sodding-Book, see?

Sure, you could put your trust in a real journalist through all their generalizations and unbiased writings, and grammar errors, or you could try here, where we deliver more than just a pint of semi. Look now at the going back to school debate, you know, I know, we all fucking know, senior school kids can stay at home because they can look after themselves while parents go to work, whereas primary kids can’t, so have to go back to school. It has nought to do with the spread of the virus, and everything to do with what’s best financially, and that, my friends, is not only the way this government have applied regulations throughout, but also not the kind of truths you’ll be reading in the newspapers.

All hail Devizine then, please do; I’m trying my fucking best amidst the wankology of Britain’s governing regime. Iโ€™m planning to rock on for another year, trapped in Blighty with flag-waving, panic-buying tossers until weโ€™re queuing for bread or waging war on France like the good old days, namely the dark ages, letโ€™s see where it gets us; with or without loo roll.

No, I’m not bitter; just slightly narked at the difficulties made in making people laugh by these idiots, so I find it apt to aim my satirical guns at them.

December

Fox Hunters Ignore Restrictions For Boxing Day Hunts

You’d be excused for thinking COVID19 restrictions would mean a peaceful Boxing day in Britain’s countryside. Unfortunately while townsfolk and villagers might not have seen them blatantly displaying their pomposity and cruelty with the usual parade through the streets, some still shamelessly ignored the regulations and went ahead and hunted anyway.

The Country Alliance website doesn’t hold its head in shame, freely admitting with pride hunts occured up and down the country, stating “activities on Boxing Day remained much the same as they have done all season.”

Wiltshire Hunt Sabs said, “many hunts have had to cancel their planned meets, and Boxing Day parades through village or town centres as a result of Covid.ย 

Many of them simply decided to make alternative meets away from the usual crowds of cap doffing sycophants, including the Avon Vale.”

Though there’s some light at the end of the tunnel, Swedish billionaire and owner of H&M Stefan Persson, who owns Ramsbury Estates covering 19,000 acres across Wiltshire and Hampshire stopped allowing hunts on the estates at the beginning of the month.

The sabs agree the land upon which hunts are allowed to meet is becoming somewhat smaller, “thanks not just to Covid but also because of the leaked webinars which has seen many landowners withdraw permission for hunts to hunt on their land.”

The landowner of Crown Estate still permits hunts on its land. Recently sabs from Wiltshire and Bath sabbed a meet of the Avon Vale Hunt. The sabs claim “a subsequent assault by the Huntmaster and his friend on two sabs,” occured during the day, as they walked along a public footpath across a field.

The sickening loopholes must be closed, and police should act, as the trail hunt is proved to be a โ€œsmokescreenโ€ for illegal hunting. We live in the country, we know it happens, the Countryside Alliance has little to do with any other rural issue, else it would focus also on rural poverty, racism and social isolation due to the pandemic which elderly folk are suffering in our villages, least spare a thought for them over the season of goodwill.

But no, they have to risk virus spreading to fulfil their passion for bloodsport, and in attacking anyone who might be offended by it, surely proving their barbarism, yes? But with a clown prime minster who’s only response to the issue being it gives him a boner, what chance does the fox have, really?

Another twisted Boxing day in the countryside …

Wiltshire Council’s Live Covid Update

Wiltshire Council are hosting a live public COVID-19 update on Tues 3 Nov at 5pm.

The online broadcast will feature Wiltshire Council Leader, Philip Whitehead, Chief Executive, Terence Herbert and Director of Public Health for Wiltshire, Kate Blackburn.

They will be providing an update on the latest number of positive cases and the rate of COVID-19 cases in Wiltshire, and the arrangements in place to mitigate the spread of the virus. There will also be details on how schools, care homes and council services are responding to the situation and planning for the coming weeks.

They want to hear from you.

You can submit your questions about COVID-19 and the local response in advance by emailing communications@wiltshire.gov.uk, no later than 5pm on Sunday 1 November.

Full details: http://orlo.uk/szlOg