Month: Mar 2018

Performed for the Queen and Royal Family on three separate occasions, Paul Larcombe could perform for you too, if you can make it to the Market Lavington Music & Comedy night on May 19th. Paul might as well be Elvis Presley, least it’s the best tribute you’re going to get of him in the UK.

 
Not sitting on his laurels with the weekend’s Stone Roses and Oasis tributes, Organiser Ted Osborn will be walking in Memphis, probably via The Muddle. Yeah tickets are a purple one, but Larcombe earned an official ranking in the world’s Top Ten Elvis Tribute Artists by Elvis Presley Enterprises, USA.

The outright winner of the largest Elvis Contest held in Europe, he was also the first Elvis Tribute in the UK to reach the Final Ten in Elvis Presley Enterprises Official Ultimate Elvis Tribute Artist Contest Graceland, Memphis; which must be pretty breath-taking experience in itself, uh-huh? Imagine all those Elvis impersonators in one place, perhaps with one Buddy Holly at the wrong show!

The guy has been on BBC1, ITV, GMTV, Good Morning America, ABC, CNN, and Sky News, in fact the only place he’s not been is The Market Lavington Community Hall, until now. He arrives in the building with full live band and backing singers; thank you, thank you very much Ted.

 

The evening is completed with support by  Laura Jayne, the stunning local young singer’s first time performing at the club.

Book here, or miss out and end up in Heartbreak Hotel.

 

The name’s Worrow, Darren Worrow. Throwing spies on the news aside, let’s chat about the tribute act with a difference I’ve discovered, over a Martini, shaken not stirred.

 
Think of Ukrainians when mentioning fictional spy 007, Olga Kurylenko springs to mind for more reasons than one. Equally as gorgeous as The Quantum of Solace Bond girl, with one letter change and a voice of energetic range and dimension, Olya Lambourne now resides in Swindon and has formed Olya & The Bond Girls there.

 
They sing classic Bond themes with conviction, depth and an eloquent Eastern European accent. Yeah I know right, I was sceptical about the whole shebang, until I took advantage of their free downloadable EP and listened. Four tunes, the first a palpable version of Diamonds are Forever which at first you nod approval, apt for Olya’s enunciation. But the girls adapt the not so popular Bassey song, Moonraker and move onto Skyfall, a theme to prove a challenge to any singer, but Olga does it justice and leaves a lump in the throat.

Keeping up to date, the final track is Sam Smith Writing’s on the Wall from Quantum of Solace which I hadn’t taken much notice of, until hearing Olya’s polished performance.

 
Now I’d have thought Goldfinger would’ve been appropriate for their repertoire, but I guess you’d have to catch them live for this. If nothing else, the download acts as a great sampler for the girls, looking out for bookings. They’ve played private functions, weddings and a plethora of events including the Old Town festival, Swindon PRIDE and Bristol’s Off-Beat, as well as clubs and pubs locally.

 
One evening Pilates instructor, the next singer, Olya Lambourne (previously Morozyuk) was born in Carpathian, a mountain region of Ukraine, where she realised at a young age music was her life. Frequenting her showcase around her local town, she was noted for her dynamic range and volume.

 
Now residing in Swindon, Olya formed Olya and the Bond Girls in 2016 with the help of local musician Roger Mepstead, two Polish and one Russian “Bond girl;” Agnieszka Wojcik, Monika Szczygiel and Karine Danielyan.

I asked if they sang songs other than Bond themes, Olya replied “at the moment it’s just Bond Themes,” but she continued to express a love of pop and a song she is working on called “Wicked Game.” Having asked this it’s irrelevant, as the Bond Themes suit her style to a T and would make a welcome addition to any variety or cabaret.

 

Download the EP and to book Olya and the Bond Girls, see here.

 

 

 

Having just received news of the next production at the Wharf Theatre “A Funny Thing Happened on the way to the Forum,” I thought I’d share it with you guys, because I’m nice like that.

Described as a “raucous musical comedy,” it pays tribute to Roman playwright Plautus, with a vaudevillian delivery.

Set in Ancient Rome, the plot revolves around three neighbouring houses. Pseudolus schemes to win the heart of the beautiful virgin, Philia, for his young master Hero who, in return, has promised to grant him his freedom.

However chaos ensues with puns, hair-brained schemes, cases of mistaken identity and the slamming of doors along with satirical comments on social class.
Ever since the original 1962 Broadway production won several Tony Awards, including Best Musical and Best Author, Forum has proved itself to be one of the funniest musicals ever written. As in the words of one of its most popular songs, there is truly ‘something for everyone – a comedy tonight!’

Tickets £12/£10 concessions can be purchased from: The Devizes Community Hub and Library, Sheep Street, Monday to Friday, 9am-5pm.The website Wharftheatre.co.uk. Or by ringing 03336 663 366.

To find out what else is on at the Wharf pick up a copy of the 2018 Spring Summer brochure from the Community Hub and Library and many other outlets around Devizes.

 

 

 

I could chew your ears off about why I adore jazz; the intricate patterns, the varied styles. I could lecture hours on rock; its everchanging trends, the power and emotion, connotations and evocative song writing. But I can wrap up why I love ska most in a nutshell; it’s the offbeat, that little bounce which forces you to your feet. It really is that simple, but its simplicity is its niche.

 

Knockout, the forthcoming album by Ya Freshness and the Big Boss Band exemplifies that simplicity, for it doesn’t come across in riddles, it doesn’t attempt to shove a philosophy down your throat, neither does it push boundaries and experiment with the genre, hardly. This album just does what the performer and band clearly relish; it blasts fun-loving, unadulterated ska, boss reggae and a sprinkling of rock steady at you with sublime panache and jollity.

In that respect, the name Ya Freshness is the only conundrum, as freshness implies something new and modern, whereas the fashion here is strictly retrospective, but once the tempi sets in, who cares? Akin to the Opel Fruit challenge, I bet you can’t put this album on your player without dancing!

 

For me there’s nothing here to dislike; Ya Freshness puts Bristol on the ska map, if there is a ska map. From humble beginnings in Kingston, through to migrant Jamaicans influencing British youth of the sixties and seventies, its third generation’s map is global. There’s a few adroit nods to these developments in Knockout, but mostly it relates to traditional ska and English two-tone. Take the brisk track “Back in Town,” for example, which claims, “rude-boys are back in town, all you gotta do is put your ska-head on.” I’d like to tell Ya Freshness, that’s the head I’ve used as standard since ‘79, the others collect dust on a shelf!

 

Momentarily cast aside ska orchestras in Toyoko and Melbourne, the budding ska scene in Montreal, also pause considering ska is the root of reggae, and through this its humongous influence on pop, because through the development of Jamaica’s musical export, and despite its persuasions to progress melodiously, nothing beats a good old knees-up to the original ingredients of brass, up-tempo rhythms and choo-choo vocals; Knockout does this, with bells on.

Vocally Ya Freshness has a relaxed chatty style, with excitement in his voice indicating he’s undoubtedly in his comfort zone. There’s a colossal eighteen tunes on offer, traditionally averaged at three minutes a piece. Rare for its tracks, the opening tune is rock steady, aptly titled thus.

 

The subsequent two tunes pure boss reggae, but its at the fourth tune where diversity sways; Rebell Yell thrashes a distinctly punk intro and swiftly switches to ska. There follows perhaps the most interesting tune; Ridim Fire is the exception to the aforementioned nonexperimental rule, it offers a governmental satirical stab, “they never tell you the truth anyway,” notes Johnny Rotten’s warning of Jimmy Saville, and to add to its anarchistic overtones, Ya Freshness virtually impersonates the Sex Pistol.

Regime annotations end there though, and it’s back on with the fun. Ska Mouth is marvellously upbeat, making the perfect advertisement for the Great Yarmouth Ska Festival, introducing a cameo by Neville Staple indeed twitches your finger to “buy your ticket online.” Legendary trombonist Rico Rodriguez is also featured on this musical marathon.

 

No Skylarking continues the upbeat ska trend, probably my fav if I was forced to pick, it has echoes of both The Specials’ Gangsters and appropriately, Horace Andy’s Skylarking. Who Goes There rings justifiable self-praise, and Reggae Skins returns to boss reggae with a super homage to the skinheads.

Welcome to my Ska World, does what it says on the tin, and four ska tunes play this marvellous album out, including with YaYaYa, a comical nod to European’s positive reactions to his music and finally Skin Deep, another nod to bluebeat, two-tone scooter culture, The Beat in particular and it polishes this ska holiday off agreeably.

 

31^st of March sees the album launched at the Two-Tone Yard in Coventry and it’s due to be released shortly afterwards. The Crowdfunding campaign is still underway, so check them out and like the Ya Freshness Facebook page for more info. Ya Freshness is produced on Strictly Rockers Records, click here for info.

 

 

 

Moonrakers Comedy Club Returns with Steve Day

 

Still shivering into March then, what the blazers is going on? Seems now we’re leaving the EU we have proper English spring back. Oh, touchy subject; I know, snow joke. Loads of events have had to be cancelled, people still waiting in line for bread and milk. Akin to Ant McPartlin, this just isn’t funny anymore.

 
Now looks like Declan Donnelly will be having a set meal for one on Saturday Night Takeaway, the last of our worries as rumour abound the Beast from the East will metamorphize into a beastly Easter bunny. Still not laughing? I know, comedy isn’t my stronger subject at the best of times, let alone the storm from hell; call in the cavalry Martin Brown.

 
Really though, I may write but it takes some bollocks to do stand-up. Well, I could do the standing up bit; odd name for it really, when the standing up bit is the easiest. My bag of nerves is big, like one of those bags building materials arrive in, I’d hear less laughs from the audience then Steve Day, and he’s Britain’s only deaf comedian, or that’s what he claims, adding “if there are any others I haven’t heard.”

 

It’s funny we should mention Mr Martin Brown, as his Moonraker’s Comedy Club was one event which had to be cancelled in March, but far funnier to announce it’s back down the Cellar Bar on the 5th April, with Sutton Coldfield’s Steve Day headlining, the very same.

 
A finalist in the Daily Telegraph “Open Mic Award in 2000,” and a finalist in the Hackney Empire New Act of the Year in 2002, Day writes a popular blog and several BBC Radio 4 shows. A familiar voice there, appearing on “You and Yours,” “All Fingers and Thumbs” with Bill Nighy, whom he punched dramatically, and “Sound Barriers,” with Patricia Routledge and Caroline Quentin, both of whom he was prevented from punching.

 

With a plethora of solo shows at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, Steve also performed as part of “Abnormally Funny People,” with Steve Best, Liz Carr, Tanyalee Davis, Chris McCausland and Simon Minty, and more recently creating a promotional video for the Disability Rights Commission. Married with five children, a fact he tells has nothing to do with not being able to hear the word “No,” Steve Day is sure to tickle your funny-bone; heaven knows we need a good laugh.

 

Opening for him is one liner and pun spinner, Rob Coleman. Noted as ranging from dark to plain ridiculous, he’s self-accredited with the one of the finest heads of hair on the UK comedy circuit.

 
And compering is Ed Pownall, who after testing material in the brutal cauldron of The Comedy Store’s Gong Show in 2014, is now a professional act and has played gigs all over the UK. Tickets are a tenner from The Bear Hotel, Devizes Books, The British Lion, The Vaults, and online at We Got Tickets.

 
Always a cracking night, I’m convinced this will see spring in; hoping if you wet your pants with laughter they won’t freeze on the way home. Is this what they call a yellow weather warning?

Details on Facebook

I never understand some people who dedicate themselves to one particular musical genre, especially a single artist or group. I respect their loyalty, it’s personal preference, I remain eclectic. Provided the music is raw, inspiring or just darn loud, I’m usually in.

 
There are some genres I favour over others though, but always there’s exceptions to the rule. In fact it’d be easier to tell you the ones I usually steer away from rather than the ones I like. I say I’ve never been one for easy listening, but to hear the echoing vocals Frank Sinatra or the charm of Perry Como’s Magic Moments, I go all tingly.

 
Similarly with heavy metal, although I’m an aficionado of rock, in awe of Hendrix, moved by Zeppelin and shivery at Jim Morrison, I even confess to a spate of soft metal when popular in the eighties, oh Heart, how will I get them alone?

 
I don’t know, I say this because I’ve no desire to wear a black t-shirt with some band logo of death and suffering depicted on it, to be outcast from classmates by slouching alone in a corner whimpering about Anthrax. I’ve never even made Satan finger signage, save when playing the ready salted Hula-Hoops game. However, when Motorhead blast out The Ace of Spades my predilections burn in hell and I can’t help but rock out like I’m Ozzy reliving his misspent youth.

 

That said, am I hunting for some pathetic reason not to like Devizes guitarist Mitch Underwood’s album “The Space Between,” simply because “heavy metal” isn’t really my cup of tea? Mitch tells me he’s been in and out of bands in the past, who’ve played clubs and venues over the UK and Europe. “Burnthru, my last band, gigged almost constantly throughout the UK,” he explained, “playing a host of venues and festivals, supporting such bands as Grim Reaper, Breed 77 and Diamond Head.” I’m out of my comfort zone here, admittedly not heard of them.

 
We discussed eclecticism and our differences calmly, “I’m the same in some respects,” Mitch told me, “as it’s easier to say what I don’t like. I used to be very close minded when I was fifteen, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve opened up to lots of music that possibly wouldn’t of years ago.” Although he wouldn’t “open” up to rave music, I confirmed it’s okay, you had to have been there at the time, we did agree with jazz; Mitch considered if he had the time to learn it, he’d consider it.

 
But bands aside, and jazz way off on another moon, Mitch likes his singly energies. “Instrumental guitar music is my focus now and my debut album ‘The Space Between’ is out now.” Yep, that’s what we’re reviewing here today, for they really are quality pieces of guitar solo. Mitch is a very accomplished guitarist; damn my pigeonholing The Space Between is growing on me!

 

“Too Many Worlds” takes no prisoners, the fast and furious opening track booms. “All Bark and no Bite” continues the ethos, substantial slid guitar rocks the rhythm; Mitch sure has mind-blowing skills. These are the ideal air guitar tunes, I couldn’t keep up with a tennis racket.

 
Like film-scoring, three tunes in and “Pearl” mellows, bringing the subtle calming ambience like the dramatic end of an eighties John Hughes movie; you’ll find love again Molly Ringwald, call me.

 
Then it’s back off again, rocking steady, “What Remains,” plods nicely, while “Danger De Mort,” develops even more depth, with an ominous riff. Unsure what the initials NRP stand for, but this tune returns us to mellow, prior to rocking out again with the title track and Burn.

 
There are elements here which make me plead for some vocals, the breezy tune Soldier an example; you do yearn for a brazen rock chick in Daisy-Dukes to holler from an Arizonian mountain, and I can’t deny, it’s all that’s missing; Mitch would breathe life into any rock band. Then a tune like “Gigi” comes along, simplistic by comparison with the others and it just works as it is; a beautiful melody generates smooth overtones. There, my “heavy metal,” classification has been utterly demolished; this is mood music for the soul.

 
There’s another two tunes on offer here to finish us off, they both blend the dividing factions of Mitch’s style; the rapid thriving thrashes of brilliance which make ultimate driving tunes and this more delicate and considerate style alluring nonchalant riffs. Put this CD on and drive, dude!

 

CD available from: mitchunderwoodmusic.com

I admit, I’m having deliberations about the future of my No Surprises Living in Devizes column upon this, it’s second birthday. How much is there really to whinge about in Devizes, haven’t we got it fairly nice after all said and done?

 
Sometimes then I swerve off on a tangent, I comment on worldwide issues, which I think, being all eyes are set on our nearest city, there’s a tenacious link; though the whole thing’s beyond satire and is now just plain petrifying.

 
Yes toxic gases worry me, the major concern being the toxic gas coming out of Theresa May’s gapping bullshit dispenser she calls a mouth. When she is all over and done with fucking up this once proud nation and, just like Thatcher, doctors diagnose dementia, which she’s had for some years, don’t say I didn’t tell you so.

Like a little yappy Terrier in cute pink doggie-coat picking on a Rottweiler, this scrap with Russia has two possible scenarios; one that we get all get nuked, the second we finally see the light that this current government has abandoned this country in favour for multinationals lining their purses, as opposed to “building the better Britain,” they vomited at the time; you gullible idiots. Here’s hoping for the latter.

 
If Salisbury’s to be the epicentre, Devizes is wiped off the map; what time is Lidl opening Sunday? Tia.

 
The point of arguing over free school meals if we’re all dead? You tell me, still we head on into a situation akin to events which started The Great War, on a fucking whim. It pales Blair’s acts of a whim by comparison. This is the big one folks yay; Queen and country, over the top lads, what-o; it’s a long way to Tipperary.

 
Media tell us the world, the UN and every Tom, Dickhead and Harry from the EU are with us, but I fail to see that’s fact; we’ve hardly been uniting Europe recently, ha-ha. Our nearest neighbours France said, hold on, let’s gather at least one scrap of evidence prior to moving into battle.

 
Whereas the only man to question the gung-ho attitude of the Tory party is held up as a Russian sympathiser and mocked on Newsnight, a supposedly unbiased show from media we all pay into by law; how utterly pathetic BBC; I liked Red Dwarf, but this is comical tragedy. Even Have I got News For You would’ve stopped to consider this gag, and they’re intentionally satirical. Stop this damn unamusing propaganda and get real for a minute; Putin is not Stan Laurel.

That’s it, I’ve said my rant this week; don’t why I doubted myself at the beginning; that is to say, I think No Surprises has lost its way slightly. Over the year I questioned the very nature of it, after the wonky snap election where we went hammer and tongs, I mellowed it. We’ve had some amazing guests though, who I thank for being such good sports, particularly Claire Perry.

 
It was Jemma Brown who suggested on a Facebook post, where I asked for suggestions for subjects, that I covered all the great events happening in Devizes, and this in turn led to the development of Devizine. In the episode “Hashtag the Town,” I said, “we need a central what’s-on guide, not distributed across a zillion feuding Facebook pages.” And again in the episode “Musical Madness,” where, after covering upcoming events, I wailed, “What am I, some kind of human event calendar now?” So blame Jemma, not me! Now Devizine does the what’s-on bit, there’s only one way forward for No Surprises and that’s untainted, opinionated ranting; problem with that?

 
So it only leaves me to conclude with a whopping gurt plug, cos just as last year, it’s time to reveal the compilation where you can find all my whinges you’ve already read online for fuck-all, in one big, nightmare manuscript. Yeah! Just two quid will keep you wound up for eons, till the next nuclear war at the very least. Unless of course this is all a smokescreen to bodge out a super-hard Brexit while we worry about death and silly matters like that.

 
It’s only out as an eBook at the moment: download it off Amazon, for Kindle or the free kindle app on your devise, here. Alternatively, other formats and options are here at Smashwords; who will distribute it to iTunes and Kobo etc through the following weeks….at least until they discover how shit it is!
Thanks, enjoy and long live No Surprises; god bless you all.

Beer; yep, like that. Festival; like that too. Devizes; ah, it be alright. 7th July 2018; save date, but be warned, buy advance tickets for The Devizes Beer Festival at the Wharf, it’s more organised these days, I think, and more popular, still plenty of beer though I hope. When are tickets available? Full of valid questions today aren’t you? Chill out and have a beer dude.

 

This is Devizes CAMRA we’re talking about, the campaign for real ale. Answer: right after the Seend Beer Festival, obviously. Seems the guys at CAMRA’s body clocks operate according to beer festivals, and why not? It’s what they’re good at. Seend’s Beer Festival is on 5th May, just so you know and tickets for this are available from the CAMRA website now.

I’ll be honest here, as always, I don’t know what else to say. I could bore you silly with a personal anecdote of a Devizes Beer Festival of yore, but such tales are vague and second-hand. Apparently neighbours were unimpressed when, after rolling down Dunkirk Hill on Shank’s pony, empty souvenir beer mug in hand, I serenaded my love from below the window; don’t believe a word of it.

So despite it always being an overwhelming day, information on the Devizes Beer Festival is ambiguous at the best of times; they usually have live music, they normally have a massive selection of locally sourced beers, ciders and ales. Perhaps I’ll update this if and when more information is released, but, there’s beer; what else do you need to know?

One thing which sprung to light via a Facebook post by CAMRA organiser Don Jones, who must be said has an uncanny resemblance to Windy Miller. It seems previous years has seen people smuggling their own drinks into the festival and this is simply not cricket.   “We used to turn a blind eye to the odd person in a group of ticket holders but the situation has got out of hand,” Don explained, even having gate-crashers setting up a gazebo last year and drinking cans of lager.

“Ticket holders have paid for the entertainment whilst they’d contributed SFA,” Don continued. Now I know how it goes after a bevy or three, rules tend to flake. I confess, I do recall retaining my glass while nipping to the loo across no-man’s land, (the sprint across the alcohol-free zone car park to the public bogs,) when the law was to leave your mug on a table provided, but my rebellious nature stopped at the urinal! Besides there’s a sense of irony in having the alcohol-free zone in a town built on beer production, let alone allowing a beer festival, surely?

Still, there’s going for a piss and then there’s taking the piss. Please respect the wishes of CAMRA, who make huge efforts to put this event on, and only drink beer bought at the beer festival; that’s the whole flipping idea of it for crying out loud into a tankard.

“This year we’re planning to beef up the security and not allow anyone at all to consume any alcohol on site that wasn’t bought at the festival,” Don finished, probably not as fast as he downs a half of Devitera, “We’ll make sure wine or something is available for those who want to accompany beer drinkers and are happy to contribute to the costs. This might sound draconian,” (sounds reasonable to me Don) “but things have been getting out of hand and we have to sort it out now.”

For more information on CAMRA and the Beer Festivals please contact them direct, rather than commenting here, I know nothing more and besides, my beer is getting warm.

Devizes CAMRA

Being a teenager in the 90s meant you were likely to succumb to electronic music, or else you were outcasted to “indie kid.” Rave swept up masses, electronic music had come of age, shaken off hit factories which crucified the creative early 80s and commercialised it into one neat “Now” double-album.

Living in Swindon rave promoters Extos was tribal; teeth-chattering teens wrapped in blankets in the carpark of Hardings nightclub awaiting word-of-mouth directions to an illegal party. Underground music would never be the same, bands didn’t matter; it was DJ culture. Listening to bands antiquated, ravers didn’t respond to “indie,” after Britpop watered-down Madchester.

 
I’d have been drawing a comic strip for a local zine called De-Railer, which combined Swindon’s traditional band scene with upcoming rave culture, so I wasn’t adverse to throwing “ravers” caution to wind and attending a few gigs in 92.

One local band who shoved the contemporary aside I’d follow, reminiscent of the two-tone ska period. The Skanxters relived those carefree childhood memories of baggy trousers, dirty shirts, of skinheads hanging around playgrounds, fat bald singers with huge tongues and a day prior to electronica. But now, some twenty-eight years later, Saturday night at the Vic was time for those devotes of the Skanxters to reminisce, about the band who revived two-tone in 1990.

Of recent surge in merged mod/two-tone/northern soul I chatted to Steve Powell about this time last year, booked by the Devizes Scooter Club under the Killertones banner. Excited to hear of a Swindon ska band I was keen to ask him if he remembered The Skanxters. “Yeah,” he mumbled, “playing at the Vic next week ain’t they?”

Aghast at this revelation and in disbelief I responded, “no, they broke up, eons ago.” It was fact, a night at Level III in 98 when my posse were excited to be invited to the bands afterparty, only to find frustrated musicians in a house in Old Town, deciding the setup was through. But Steve reassured me twas true, they had a reunion gig. I spotted it online, liked their page, dug out their CD “Call it a Crime,” and made it concrete if it happened again by hook or by crook I had to make it to Swindon.

This Saturday it did, so despite many gigs around Devizes I could’ve checked out I found myself wandering through that dirty Old Town, eternally the hive of Swindon’s nightlife. Although areas of Swindon have changed so much I’d get lost, Old Town relics yore, aside a few façade changes, there’s more flashy bars and restaurants sprung up, there it was, like a beacon of all that is champion about music in Swindon, The Vic.

 
Traditional town pub, The Vic plays host to bands nearly every night, it’s lively, rough and ready. In the pit below the band’s old PA/sound man Preston Steel DJs boss reggae and rocksteady as the varied crowd gather; curious youngsters and the old ska boys of Swindon, anticipating a tsunami of fond memories to wash over them. Prior to the band bursting onstage Doc Martins are moonstomping and Herrington jackets are placed on chairs.

I caught up with the keyboardist Erin Bardwell, and chewed the fat about old times, about getting back together sporadically for gigs. Erin was never static behind the keys, akin to Tow-Tone’s Jerry Lee Lewis, he bobbed up and down, harmonised vocals and gave it all he had. Much the same, he did just that, telling me aside his newer projects, experimental dub outfit Subject A, and rocksteady fashioned, The Erin Bardwell Collective (who are booked for the Devizes Scooter Rally next summer,) he still loved playing the two-tone catalogue of the Skanxters of yore, musical differences which may have drawn the band apart back then have reunited them.

 
And what a reunion it was, lead Carl, now of the NoMarks, a little larger around the waist, and a few expected wrinkles from band members, but blasting out the sounds of their very beginnings; Mr Hate Me, Ska Beat and the legendary floor-filler King Arthur, they covered Woolly Bully and Pressure Drop with ease, and bought back a forgotten memory with their customary up-tempo ska cover of Clapton’s Wonderful Tonight.

There wasn’t the lengthy rambling of a Springsteen show, but short sweet introductions and memories sparked songs, hoisting Erin’s mum on stage and Carl’s banter between the musicians gave the show wit. “Funny to think that back in 1990,” Erin states, “when myself, Marc (drums) and Carl (vocals) were 16, and practicing up at Groundwell Farm, that all these years later in 2018 we could rack up in a rehearsal room and still bash out the old tunes.”

Erin continues with the fable, “Vinny Hill soon joined on bass (who I had gone to same school with but didn’t know him at the time), followed by Rowena on sax. Then another face from my old school, Jase Hill, came into it early 1991, on guitar. Sax player Nina came into the band in 1993; what a great thing that we can all still meet up and do occasional gigs together, have a good laugh, brush the old cobwebs off, and blast through the songs, and people actually want to come and watch us!”

When the crowds bawled for encore, and I’ll Never Know, the amusing classic inspired by Erin’s failure to keep a bike for more than a few weeks before being thieved, polished off the night, it was crystal Swindonites did indeed want to come and watch; as they did the 90s. What a blinder!

 

 

Flipperdy-fuckeredly I can’t be forty-five, that can’t be right; doesn’t even sound right. Still, being as it was my birthday I felt obliged to pop out on a school night yesterday and it would’ve been rude not to check out the reopening of the Bell on the Green in old Devizes town; older than me I hasten to add.

 
Forget my archaic whinges, I like a pub to be a pub, traditional, wooden and authentic. The Bell on the Green has had more than a lick of paint, it’s positively transformed, maybe not to my cup of tea, but I have to hand it to them, it’s certainly spruced up the place and seeks to be an anchorage for twenty-somethings; a clientele prone to spending more than me, being ancient now half a shandy and I’m anyone’s, (actually that’s a tiny fib, no lonely emails please!)

 
The Bell on the Green has been suitably transformed to sports bar, with great enthusiasm to the punters, Wadworth have pulled it out of the bag and provided Devizes youth and sports fans with something they can treasure.

 

It was bustling in there from an early hour, adorned in contemporary chic décor, shiny new pool table and plasmas and even a foot-pool pitch out back, The opening of the Bell on the Green was lively and exhilarating. The fantastic People Like Us took time to tune but never failed to bring the house down with their unique take on popular covers; you can’t help but love them.

 
I wish them all the best, intend to park up my Zimmer-frame and drop in again soon, for it truly is a valuable asset to our fine collection of public houses, and in such a prime location; long may it live!

 

Down in a basement beneath the 16th century buildings of Old Swan Yard in the heart of Devizes, used to lie a little but delightful taste of Italy.

Known as Franco’s Ristorante, for over twenty-seven years it was a renowned haven of quality Italian food and drink; locally the prime romantic location, from first date to wedding anniversary, I’d wager many a relationship started, blossomed or rekindled at those authentically Mediterranean tables.

However, last time the wife and I endeavoured to re-enact our first date, disappointment was all we found after descending those steps to Francos. Although the staff were still friendly, there was an underlying desperation in their tone, echoing through the vacant dank cellar. The food didn’t live up to its prior reputation, the atmosphere misplaced, but with price-tag the same, we felt gloomy and a tad ripped off.

Turned out its kingpin, head chef Massimo Pipitone had left. But now he’s returned, and he’s not messing around. With wife Shanai they’ve signed the lease, reopened it as Massimos, and word on the street is that it’s back to its former glory, if not better.

Dedicated to fulfilling a dream to own his own restaurant, Sicilian born Massimo repairs the broken repute by reintroducing the dishes he created at Francos, based on authentic recipes he’d have eaten back in Sicily. I’d be crazy not to try it again.

First impressions last, particularly in restaurants; I crave the anticipation of a good meal upon entering a premises. With Asian restaurants it’s the manners and warm hospitality, opening the door to a good English pub to hear the sounds of clinking glasses and jollity, but with Italian it has to be the fresh aroma of basil, garlic and red wine escaping from the kitchen. From the very moment of swinging that heavy black door to Massimo’s it’s noticeable, the musky smell replaced with said wonderful fragrances; just as it should be.

It’s busy, on a Thursday, but with a fond smile we are seated. A quick Facebook message confirmed our table and the welcoming was warm. Massimo’s is charmingly diminutive, booking is advisable. We chatted prior to being seated, Shania enthusiastic about the relaunch and positive about the feedback thus far.

Immediately it feels as if nothing has changed, like the last few months was just a nightmare. The traditional decor remains, but a tidy-up and fresh aromas breathe new life into this wonderful haven. The wine list caters for all tastes and wallets, the menu invites, be it a pasta dish or pizza, or full Italian courses from antipasti to an attractive selection of Dolce or Caffè.

With tomato and red onion salad, I ordered my longstanding favourite, lasagna, which sizzled at me from its dish and coiling the strings of mozzarella, it tasted sublime. Meanwhile the pizza of kings arrived at the other side of the table which couldn’t be finished along the side-order of sweet potato fries; I had to take a bite purely from the scent of that freshly baked dough.

Throughout the meal we were catered for with warmth, with no stone left unturned to insure the experience was everything we dreamed and that we were contented. Darn right we were; fantastico!

Massimo and Shanai are proudly declaring all dietary requirements are catered for; vegetarian, gluten-free, and a kid’s menu has been added. There’s now a takeaway service and talk of Massimo creating his own burger.

If you can get booked in Sunday, take your Mum for the set Mother’s Day menu, (see event here,) if not, be sure to try it out asap; you’ll not be disappointed.

Massimo’s Facebook page:

 

Somewhere in the job description of “spy” must be the fortuitous clause that someone might try knock you off; James Bond lived for it. I reckon such occurrences as which happened in Salisbury are best left to intelligence bureaus, not local Bobby, and especially not blubbering buffoon Boris who hardly defines the term “intelligence.” Still he pursues revenge on accused Russia with that trigger-happy psychopathic President giggling at him.

 
How does he suggest we retaliate? Boycott the World Cup; that’ll show ‘em. Oh my years, at least give us a chance to fail the group stages Boris, or you’ll have patriotic football nutters cursing your name and giving it, “this was the year we could’ve won too!” Good, you go for it Boris.

As the eyes of the world stage rest upon our nearest city, makes one wonder that living in our humble little town isn’t so bad; the only thing fuelling our bleats is the mass clearing of trees and vegetation from the banks around the pounds of the Caen Hill Flight, which contractors of the Canal River Trust were instructed to undergo this week.

 
Mind you, they’ve certainly swept the place to the point it now resembles the Suez Canal running through the Sahara. Has Putin dropped the big one on lock 23? Chris Greenwood asked bods of The Devizes Debate Facebook page if, “this the correct time of year for such a drastic measure to be taken, regarding wildlife habitat?” and so became a plethora of sad and sorrow-filled comments.

 
Chris himself took to stating, “To completely remove a huge tranche of cover like this is little short of vandalism.”

Was this necessary, I asked, I mean to remove everything, and why? I messaged the Kennet & Avon Construction team. They replied, no they really did. They said, “we are booked in to repair the bank in this location [the offside bank between locks 23 and 24.] The water in this pound is overtopping and we have been tasked to raise the bank to prevent the water washing out over the footpath.”

 
So there we have it, I responded with another question; “So in order to do this it needs to be stripped of all the bramble and trees first?” wondering if perhaps they could work around the odd tree or two. Obviously our conversation ended there, that is after all, what they were told to do.

 
Or were they? Waterways Manager, Mark Evans emailed me thus: “I appreciate that any work we do around vegetation management causes concerns and I can assure you we are doing everything we can to manage our estate in the best possible way for all to use, whether you are enjoying the towpath as a walker or cyclist, enjoying the water as a boater or taking in the wildlife.”

 
“Canal & River Trust is passionate about protecting both the built and natural heritage of our canals. What makes the canals so special is that these two aspects can complement each other. However there has to be a balance to ensure both are adequately protected. Our heritage advisers and ecologists always work together on managing the projects and maintenance programmes, we have very robust processes to ensure there is proper consultation between all the professionals involved.”

 
“The Caen Hill Flight of locks is an outstanding engineering achievement and one of the Modern Waterway Wonders of the World. It is over two hundred years old and designated as a scheduled monument which is the highest class of heritage protection in the UK. This gives it legal protection and also places an obligation on us to maintain and repair the site appropriately. All work within the scheduled monument including tree felling requires approval from Historic England.”

 
“Historically there were no trees around the side ponds or locks – the old photos show it completely clear of large vegetation. One of the spectacular attractions of the site was being able to look up from Marsh Bridge at Lock 28 or down from the lock cottage at lock 44 and see the whole flight in all its glory. However, since the restoration sapling growth has not been adequately controlled, resulting now in some substantial groups of trees. These are threatening the monument in several ways. Firstly, they obstruct the wonderful long views of the locks and side ponds. Secondly tree roots near the locks have penetrated their approach walls causing severe damage to the masonry. Thirdly tree growth along the spine road embankments is so dense in places that it is destroying the shape of the side ponds.”

 
“The recent tree felling does appear rather drastic but this is only because they had been allowed to get so dense in recent years. In fact we are just returning the site to a properly balanced state where both the structures and the environment can work in harmony for a sustainable future. We want people to be able to go on visiting and enjoying the Caen Flight for the next two hundred years.”

 

 
Oh I don’t know, maybe we had to be brutal to be kind here. But two things about this longwinded response don’t add up; historically the canal was a working artery, purely functional, whereas today it’s a leisurely pursuit and a tourist attraction, which surely needs to be aesthetic as well as functional. Despite the amazing feat of engineering involved in this “Modern Waterway Wonder of the World,” I think some wildlife and vegetation kind of suits the place. To return it to its original use would mean, by today’s standards, we tarmac the darn thing and allow McDonalds and Little Chef’s to sprig up rather than bramble, bunnies and kingfishers.

 
The other issue I have with the response is that nowhere in it does it explain about the repair to the pound’s bank. They’re not singing with the same song-sheet, leading me to think Putin maybe in charge of communication; “could you clear a few trees from the banks of the Canal please?”

 
Putin rubs his hands together, “What’s that you say? Trump has a longboat moored there? Okay, I will see to it.”

 

Honestly, I feel something has gone amiss here, it’ll take decades for the wildlife to recover. I expected Art Garfunkel to be singing “Bright Eyes” on the edge of the towpath, not forgoing anything about the effect on the wildlife residing there, like I asked; seems it’s their property and people come see it for the awesome feat of engineering rather than it’s simply “a nice country walk.” You, the user decide.

 

Wrap up warm, try the fun new maze on Devizine, and you could be a milkman too!

 

 

 

The Urban Lions of Lionheart Records, a touring band and sound system currently rising up through the underground UK roots and dub scene, have joined forces with Malfunktion Soundsystem, Earth’s Radicals and The Barge Co-operative, to bring us an evening of music, fun and frolics, in order to raise funds for The Barge at Honey-Street.

 

 

 

Urban Lions are firing up the dance with headline sets at festivals and venues all over the UK and overseas with a feisty fusion of bashment roots, dub, ska, dancehall, funk, rocksteady beats, filthy horns, skanking rhythms and conscious rhymes. They’ve secured a record deal with Amsterdam based label ‘Earth Works Records’ and released their debut live EP, “Urban Lions In Amsterdam.”

I’m sure you’re familiar with The Barge Inn, Honey-Street, and know it’s history. Made famous by the international crop circle community, the bands that have played there, the campsite’s mini festival vibe, the canal dwelling boating and music loving communities, The Barge Inn was a very special venue in a truly magical setting in the heart of the Pewsey Vale and became a unique imprint in the culture of Wiltshire and beyond.

 

People came from all over the world to experience the magical vale vibe, to dance to the bands, to sample the beer, to camp in the field and tell stories around the fire pit. But the Barge is under threat. The current owners have closed the pub and are selling it on.

The Barge Co-Operative now have the option to buy the pub, but first they need to raise enough funds for a survey and legal fees to assess whether it’s feasible to do so.

 

So the Urban Lions and collective are to put a gig  on at the Bouverie Hall, Pewsey, on 31st March; doors open at 6pm, with a minimum fiver donation on the door. There will be live music from them, and the Boothill Allstars, Tripolar, the Malfunktion Sound System and the Earth’s Radicals.

Info here: https://www.facebook.com/events/180111689266399/

http://www.urbanlions.co.uk/

 

 

 

Without this sounding like a dull diary type blog, it’s been one of those days. The weather of planet Hoth grinds the country to near standby, I perched at the window contemplating taking my milk-float out for as long as I could bear. I got quarter of the run done, albeit very late.

 
Oh the look on people’s faces, who wouldn’t normally witness such a spectacle as an eighties milk-float daring to venture where most cars were stuck. Still, that’s the beauty of Devizes, content in a time of yore.

 
Rather than brave my car to town later, with more snowfall forecast, I took the opportunity when passing the corner of St Johns and Long Street to drop in and see Pete and Jacki Bennett who were busy preparing Vinyl Realm for tomorrow’s launch; their brand new record shop. Yeah, the one we mentioned here a week ago (see article.)

 

 

 
So here it is, a sneak preview of this soon-to-be marvellous musical haven, for just like the vintage milk-float parked randomly outside, upon sauntering into Vinyl Realm you feel transported back to a time of yore, when people gathered in record shops to browse, share gossip and sometimes even buy an album. Surely it’s another diamond for the traditional ethos of Devizes.

 
I’ll confirm now, before you see it for yourself, it’s everything you think it should be, the décor stripped back to beams and bricks adorn pop memorabilia from a Buddy Holly picture disc and a Two-Tone tour poster. The centre of the shop embraces an island of classic vinyl albums, divided A-Z and into genres, just how you remember them being prior to shopping on a dull website named after a rainforest.

 

 

 
You can’t flick through those artistic cardboard covers like you used to on a website, or dare I say it, skin up on an MP3. Here then is Vinyl Realm’s niche, through assortments of incense, CD’s, high quality cables at decent prices, pop memorabilia and more, lies old vinyl albums in abundance. Under the island there’s bargain bins, there’s stacks of 7” singles, rave 12”’s, there’s prize shelves alluring you in with the a heave of excitement, “Hey wow, Madness Absolutely; my first ever album.”

 

 

 

 

 

“What about cassette tapes?” I rapped, thinking I’d got the better of them, but no, they’ll be stocked too, just hadn’t been bought up the shop yet. The best thing was, Pete and Jacki were pleased to see me, discussing their plans with enthusiasm. It’s clear they’re passionate about this project, after years of producing an online vinyl service. Pete tells me how he wants it to be a hub, somewhere to hang out, discuss and debate music, and they’ll also be selling gig tickets.

 

 

 
Will they have a deck for customers to try before they buy? I had to ask, recalling days of queuing with prospective purchase in hand, waiting for the would-be DJ to filter his stack, muttering, “shit, this record will be out of the charts by the time this Joey has finished on there!” Oh yes, of course, they replied. I’m damned if this isn’t like stepping back to the good old days of record shops, the fair prices, I do not lie, even match.

 
You could be looking at paying £15-18 for a brand new album, but the second-hand racks are priced akin to 1990; at £3-£10. So cool; I predict this to be awesome for our little town, as far as shopping goes, and making good use of such a lovely corner store too.
But it doesn’t end there, Pete, who has experience with the local music scene is keen, not so much to bring in big names to meet and greet, but to support our burgeoning music scene.

 

 

 
For example, you’ll catch Mike Barham at tomorrow’s grand opening; snowdrifts only peeking over the soul of his shoe. Local musicians, you know who you are, approach the place and enquire if they’ll flog your CD; they promise not to bite.

 
So, here at snowy Devizine Towers, I’m so pleased to see something like this happening in Devizes, fair-play to Jacki and Pete and I wish them all the best for their grand opening tomorrow (Saturday 3rd March) Get down there and check it out!

 

 

https://www.facebook.com/VinylRealm/

All photos have been used with kind permission of Nick Padmore Photography, copyright Nick Padmore; please ask before use, thank you!