Tag: wiltshire council

The Munster Returns to Slam-Dunk Wiltshire Council Budget!

Well, I admit, the Black Dog Crossroads has reopened with shiny new traffic lights and looks pretty groovy, as far as road junctions look groovy. But I will forever be flabbergasted how the Wiltshire councillor for The Lavingtons, Dominic Muns, who signed off the project, concentrated his announcement of the project with political point-scoring rather than safety…. 

Claiming this “wouldn’t have happened” with any other specific party at the helm of Wiltshire Council, particularly spatting The Greens with certain bitterness, was hearsay. The project was signed off prior to the Lib Dem takeover, so we can never be certain if it would or would not have been approved. This was a red light warning, altering me to the notion Dominic Muns enjoys stirring the pot, but whilst I respect that along with his motivation to respond, I remain sceptical the sauce in his pot is spiced with nothing more than bamboozlement.

A few other Wiltshire Councillors have got their knickers in a twist over the new council budget, and would-bes too, like lone ranger Devizes former Reform candidate Malcom Cupis, who loves spreading his verbal faeces on the Devizes Issue (But Bitter) Facebook group, and, reading between his lines of his recent nonsensical rant, seemed to approve fascism provided he could get his bins emptied weekly. But Muns, well, he called in AI and went to town on his Facebook page with a post yesterday which should come with a content warning; it reads like the boy who cried wolf is writing for the Daily Fail.

The question remains, how twisted can one’s knickers get before they ride up the bum crack with a plethora of brown stained untruths, or at the very least, skid-marked exaggerations?!

Omitting mentioning the £6 billion “sink hole” the Liberal Democrat led council inherited County Hall with, and all its gubbings from decades of Tory reign, like, say, the worst social care provisions and roads which look like they belonged on a battlefield at the Somme, Muns said “Wiltshire deserves better than this,” and suggested their “alternative budget took on no debt and delivered a £20m better position over 3 years,” adding emojis of a bar chart and suitcase for the benefit of, what I can only deem, his followers unable to read, or an imaginary artistic licence.

“Cutting spending on our road network” and “hiking car parking charges, including a huge increase on Sundays,” were on his hitlist, “cutting black bin collections to once every 3 weeks, cutting the Parish Steward Scheme,” and “cutting the Parish Emergency Assistance Scheme” were others he is disgruntled about.

But whoa there Munster, is it a random hike, or does the 4.99% rise include the 2% adult social care precept, which most councils are using because care costs are rising sharply?

Aren’t the three-weekly black bin collections part of a shift toward higher recycling rates, which many other councils have already adopted?

Is this really as unprecedented or uniquely reckless as you’re suggesting? On highways and the parish schemes, can you point to the specific budget lines showing outright removal rather than reprioritisation or consultation? This might help residents to see the details rather than broad claims.

And you couldn’t get broader than when he added in the cascading comments, “I use the term “Independent” loosely since they’re actually all on the Lib Dem payroll and merely masquerading as independent councillors to win local votes.”

Ooh, I had to ask for proof to this crazy accusation, with which he returned with, “you can check the list of SRAs (Special Responsibility Allowances) and see which councillors are receiving additional money for certain roles. It’s public record.”

Big Rod Stewart sized butt; receiving a Special Responsibility Allowance as an independent councillor does not put them on a Lib Dem (or any specific party) payroll. SRAs are paid directly by Wiltshire Council based on recommendations from an independent panel for specific roles like committee chairs, regardless of political affiliation.

Another unfortunate visitor to his Facebook page asked on this thread, if he was “saying my Wiltshire Councillor Ernie Clark – Independent in Hilperton is a LibDem?!”

The Munster responded, “we were made aware of a written contract drafted by the Lib Dem administration and Independent councillors which promised paid roles in exchange for support. Independent councillors are currently in those same paid roles. Make of that what you will.”

Cllr Dominic Muns for The Lavingtons seems to be making quite a lot of “what you will” out of the Council budget, but still, failed to answer the question to his accusation, which comes over just a smidgen slanderous. He says I’m confused, and “certain roles are appointed directly by the Lib Dem administration, others by a vote of the committee which is apportioned to mirror overall political balance,” perhaps he’s right; I’m confused as to how this puts an independent councillor on a Lib Dem payroll.

If, as he said, the Conservatives’ alternative delivered a £20m better position over three years with no debt, where is that £20m coming from, and what assumptions were used, I wonder, but not enough to keep me up at night! For if it’s genuinely stronger, he could show the workings so residents can judge. Budgets are about trade-offs. If we’re going to criticise decisions, let’s do it with the full numbers on the table.

As I patiently wait for the green light at the shiny new Black Dog Crossroads which looks like it belongs in a different county, I think it’s best to wait for peace of mind, and perhaps we should wait for the effects of this budget too, before casting assumptions.

Face it, the only credible thing about his post of yesterday is that “Wiltshire deserves better than this,” yet, poop scooping the doggie doings of the previous council, did anyone expect a welcoming budget?

Yes, buddy, Wiltshire residents deserve better, they deserve transparency from everyone, not just slogans. Cool, you signed off Black Dog, but the campaign for this has taken decades, decades in which the Munster was but a mini-Munster, and The Conservatives had ample opportunity to make this Tory stronghold better, but failed, and that’s why the democratic system showed them the door. You’re a big boy now, so dry your eyes and accept that sometimes you win, sometimes you don’t and that’s the way it goes!

Breaking News in Rowde: Wiltshire Road Gets Resurfaced!

Are you sitting down, as this may come as a shock? Residents of the Springfield Road estate in Rowde should be feeling rather privileged at the moment, as bucking the countywide trend of having roads which look like Mars has suffered a doodlebug air-raid, it’s actually been resurfaced!

Not all of them seem satisfied they’ve the only road in the county which is, comparatively, as smooth as a baby’s botty though, and have taken to their local Facebook group, Rowde all About it, to whinge about the inconvenience of waiting an extra day before work could commence due to poor weather, as they probably would’ve whinged about the state of the road beforehand! Awl, that’s Facebook for you; an adult’s playground for venting Karen’s petty fury.

The operation has run just as smooth, with jolly-faced roadworkers jumping at the opportunity to move some cones and allow residents access; it breaks up the monotonous teabreaks. One resident lightened the mood on the Facebook group by suggesting offering them tea and chocolate digestives was key to their friendly attitude, though we’ve no proof of this because I’m keeping all my biscuits for myself.

It is, though, quite a delight to drive on a road in Wiltshire without worrying for your wheel alignment and suspension, if a smidgen eerie. And, of course, once you’ve got to the main road it’s back to the usual sensation of cycling a penny-farthing over a lunar landscape, but hey, for a moment there it’s driving heaven.

Okay, so a few motorist residents didn’t read the social media posts nor see the cones and massive signs stating no parking for the duration of the repair, leaving sweeping gaps untreated, but they finally caught on, moved them, and the roadworkers are rubbing their hands together for a Sunday bonus; all is well.

Residents are advised to drive slowly across the new tarmac, to delay in its inevitable dilapidation. It’s a flipping housing estate, for crying out loud! An estate with the rare blessing in modern times, whereby children can still play relatively safely outside, so it’s in everyone’s best interests to drive through it with caution in the first bloody place! 

Bearing in mind this is a busy estate, where some residents are in the habit of parking wherever the hell they fancy, despite the inconvenience it may cause for other residents, and those headless chicken non-residents swerving through, using it as a short cut to avoid Marsh Lane.

There’s an ever- increasing population using Springfield Road, accumulating by the questionable requirements of gradually extending the estate with further Lego houses, when it would’ve been far better to accept the expansion was inevitable years ago, and build it a new access road from the other side of the school; but planning is for other counties.

Not forgoing the colossal construction traffic used to bring these part-built monstrosities past the school gates and playpark without pavements, and through the already busy estate, leaving people wondering how the area obtained such dilapidated roads in the first place!

But not only is the road smooth, for a moment in time, there’s the additional Facebook group story of a rogue “carer” who apparently “drives like a maniac,” revealing their misdoings by apparently telling the road workers to “f-off,” which kind of makes it all worthwhile being in the group, and should remain as a stern message to all roadworkers not to piss off carers, because they’ve got caring to do, god dammit, and if anyone gets in their way of caring, well….

Misinformation Alert: Wiltshire Council’s Lift on Paid Disabled Parking Will Not Affect Your Council Tax

Wiltshire Council confirmed Blue Badge holders can park freely in council-operated car parks again, following a vote at the Full Council meeting on Tuesday 21 October; you might think the majority would support the notion, but misinformation against it is being spread by an ex-Wiltshire Councillor and current Devizes Town Councillor on their popular Facebook group…..

Confirmation on the lift was published on the Wiltshire Council website, 22nd October 2025, stating “with full Council now backing the change, Blue Badge holders are once again able to park free of charge in all Wiltshire Council car parks.” The scheme forcing disabled blue badge holders to pay for parking was introduced by the former Conservative-led council in 2022.

Cllr Martin Smith, Cabinet Member for Highways, said, “I’m delighted that Full Council has supported this important change. Reinstating free parking for Blue Badge holders is a significant step towards making Wiltshire a more inclusive and accessible county. There are more than 30,000 Blue Badge holders in Wiltshire, many of whom face mobility challenges or rely on others for transport. This policy recognises the barriers they face and promotes fairness, independence and dignity. We know that many Blue Badge holders also experience lower levels of income, and this policy change will help them financially, too.”

But it was matters of finance which sparked debate on local social media groups last week. Devizes Town Councillor Iain Wallis published a statement on his own-managed Facebook group Devizes Issues, claiming Wiltshire taxpayers will foot the bill in their council tax. I thought I’d fact-check this because I pondered that simply lifting the charges surely wouldn’t incur too much cost, if anything.

It seems the ‘subsidising’ of Blue Badge holder parking comes out of the general car parking revenue account, NOT our council tax.

M&D Lib Dem Campaign Organiser Nathan liaised with some councillors to provide some clarity. It seems the ‘subsidising’ of Blue Badge holder parking comes out of the general car parking revenue account, NOT our council tax. “Any surplus from that account is reinvested into transport schemes,” he continued to explain, “so if anyone is subsidising it, it’s other car park users. However, what it does is allow blue badge holders better access to shops and other facilities, which should lead to better profits, so more corporation tax is paid in.”

The Wiltshire Council press release stresses, “we’re updating the signage as soon as we can,” so obviously there’s a small cost there, but otherwise, it actually stands to potentially generate revenue via corporation tax gained by better retail profit. But aside, the bottom line is, the cost to update signage wouldn’t have been necessary at all if the previous Conservative-led Wiltshire Council hadn’t enforced parking charges on disabled drivers in the first place. 

Dammit, Janet, this is going to backfire on the Tory ex-councillor with a reputation for banishing users of his Facebook group who spread apparent “misinformation,” but then, he should not be spreading misinformation himself, surely?! Ooh, could I speculate the spread of misinformation on Devizes Issues is acceptable if it fits a certain narrative approved by the admin? Who’d have possibly imagined it?!

Looky here, the last thing I want to do, or would ever do, is make verbal personal attacks on anyone. Though, when calling out the spread of misinformation concerning local matters, this one town councillor and ex-Wilsthire councillor’s name pops up frequently. While he may favour playing the victim card, as he has done with us in the past, this serves only to fact check claims made, and is not intended to be a personal attack. It never was personal and it certainly isn’t now.

It is simply that, even if you are fit and able to walk or travel by bus, and you think disabled people paying for parking doesn’t affect you, it might one day not be the case. Ergo, if you are fit and able, you are perfectly within your rights to find free parking elsewhere even if it means a short walk and you pay nothing towards the small cost of changing some signage; storm in a teacup!

Disabled people may not have that option, and therefore the introduction of parking charges for blue badge holders was an unjust stealth tax by the former Conservative-led Council. In conclusion, it is evident and unfortunate that you should take what you read on Devizes Issues with a pinch of salt. The move by Wiltshire Council should be viewed as a benefit to the communities it serves, and they should be congratulated for reversing the decision to charge disabled people for parking fees. 

Wiltshire Council in Turmoil…Apparently!

Has anyone else noticed this media trend, or is it just me? There was a time, back when Tories held the majority at County Hall, when I felt like Michael Knight, a lone crusader championing criticisms of the council. Now the Lib Dems have taken command, every man and his blog are jumping the bandwagon claiming Wiltshire Council has descended into chaos and mayhem. From Kenny J Plebb’s local gutter press to… well, I’d expect no less from Newsquest…..

Maybe it has, but more likely, it’s media bias showing its true colours. What I’ve seen coming from the council since the takeover has been mostly positive. Roads being repaired for the first time since the Roman invasion of Britain. Recreation centres and town halls are being renovated and reopening. They’ve reversed the censorship regulations placed on White Horse Publications, such as Melksham News. Wragg’s Visit Wiltshire gets funded again, to bring back that profitable thing called “tourism” you’ve probably forgotten all about. Disabled folk don’t need to trot four miles to get a loaf of bread from the shop. Wiltshire parents and carers are getting free courses, kids can swim free again. They approved a new Air Quality Supplementary Planning Document and switched to an electric fleet of vehicles.

To me, this sounds far better than the previous council who laughed off six million pounds of taxpayer’s dosh which went mysteriously missing on their watch, of which the media conveniently swept under the carpet, spent four million on an unnecessary PCC re-election after their first attempt was a drunk-driving huntsmaster, just to maintain Conservative presence in the force, couldn’t fix a pothole yet proposed a six billion pound project to tunnel underneath our most famous ancient monument, and awarded their families top roles in the council.

Yet the media will have us believe it’s all falling apart, despite progress clearly being made, that they’re hiding secrets despite holding public forums, and rewarding themselves massive pay rises, despite it was only allowances in line with inflation, and their wage not being great to begin with for the work they do and criticisms they have to face, kind of bringing us full circle!

Let’s face it, if there’s any turmoil within Wiltshire Council it’s the few remaining Conservatives hanging on like a milk tooth on a nerve, bitter about losing, and the ten stronghold Weebles who insist we should forget about human extinction and convert to fascism.

But whoa, Conservatives completely hijacked a motion set by Liberal Democrat portfolio holder for arts and culture, Liz Alstrom, supporting the LGBTQIA+ community, and it was sadly rejected. Meanwhile, Reform councillors are singing from the rafters with big sheets of wool to pull over our eyes that they didn’t vote for a pay rise, but took it anyway, and virtual-signalled how righteous and humble they pretend to be; this is an educated state, not a trip a Trumpton!

Provided a dedicated Council is working hard to create better services for us all, perhaps they deserve a bit more pocket money, but should a councillor temper-tantrum against unity and equality, because someone likes to wear Cuban heels, or is a shade too dark for their liking, and resists progress because it doesn’t fit their narrow-minded prejudice rhetoric, maybe a sack of coal is all they deserve from Santa this year.

Take Lib Dem Cllr Jon Hubbard, for example. He might look like he’s doing a paper round, but the guy has done more good for this county than an entire Conservative Vogon Constructor Fleet! Give this dude a rise, so he can get himself a new fleece! Left to the opponents poor children would drown, then who will deliver their future Hadley Rose luxury home furnishings, huh?!

We all wouldn’t mind a pay rise, and probably wouldn’t refuse one either, unless we were funded by Russian oligarchs. Basically it’s a whole lot of hot air from the deceitful Reform ten, who it seems, from locations they’ve miraculously achieved a majority, would rather spend thousands on flags they can shag, than social care, road safety or education facilities.  

Yet Calne Reform nut-job, Cllr Augusta Urquhart-Nicholls insists with that age-old malapropistic ultranationalist pufferied slogan, that they’ll “Make Wiltshire Great Again,” when most of its residents would agree, it’s never not been great, just a little misguided since the Conservatives donned the captain’s cap twenty-six years ago.

And being most of the reject Musk androids called Reform councillors merely shifted their rosettes from indigo to sky blue to keep their jobs, perhaps what we need to allow this Lib Dem majority is a little bit of time to repair the damage, get a nice trim and organise themselves, before we burn down Bythesea Road’s Reichstag, arrest anyone opposing and remove their civil rights, huh?!

But what we must definitely do, is stop believing the media claptrap and propaganda; “Wiltshire Council in Turmoil,” you say? Go paint a roundabout. Like it ever wasn’t before?!

Take Our Wiltshire Pothole or Moon Crater Quiz Challenge!!

Can You Find The Wiltshire Potholes From The Moon Craters?!

Now, at Devizine Towers we are far too mature and sensible to mock Wiltshire Council’s sterling efforts to repair our road defects by jumping on the bandwagons of chalking phallic symbolism around our county’s potholes, playing pitch and putt in them, or creating meme’s with a drowning Leonardo DiCaprio. But we thought a fun game for all the family might be some harmless entertainment; at least, far more harmless than driving on our roads….

Can you distinguish the pictures of potholes on Wiltshire’s roads between those pictures of moon craters?! It’s not as easy as it looks, kids! Would you know which of these images to report on the MyWilts app, or NASA?!

There’s ten pictures below, carefully cropped and in grayscale to avoid clues, like vaguely painted road markings, or little green aliens. If you do need a clue, I can tell you, there’s more Wiltshire pot holes than there are moon craters; we like to keep things real on Devizine!

See how many you can correctly guess in our pothole or moon crater challenge!

Find the answers below, if I can remember myself which ones are which!!

NO PEEKING!!

Question 1: Pothole or Moon Crater?

Question 2: Pothole or Moon Crater?

Question 3: Pothole or Moon Crater?

Question 4: Pothole or Moon Crater?

Question 5: Pothole or Moon Crater?

Question 6: Pothole or Moon Crater?

Question 7: Pothole or Moon Crater?

Question 8: Pothole or Moon Crater?

Question 9: Pothole or Moon Crater?

Question 10: Pothole or Moon Crater? Tricky one to finish on!

Answers: 1- pothole, 2- pothole, 3- moon crater, 4- pot hole, 5-pot hole, 6-moon crater, 7-tricky one this, but it is a moon crater we found on the Poulshot road, 8- pot hole, 9- moon crater, 10- unless Neil Armstrong took a traffic cone with him, we strongly suspect it’s a pot hole, but who can be sure? I reckon you’ve taken a traffic cone to the moon in the past after a few too many shandies, or maybe just to the end of your cul-de-sac.

Mark your own papers, I trust you, but deduct a point for every traffic cone you’ve woken up with, cuddling in your bed, you silly drunken sausages.

Should we be Concerned Over Wiltshire Council’s Refusal to Engage with Melksham News?

The simple answer is yes, very concerned. Following the publication of an article in Melksham News’s last issue questioning the council’s public notice policy, Wiltshire Council has refused to engage with Melksham News, effectively censoring the newspaper. This disgraceful decision could undermine local press freedom, accountability and local democracy….. 

Melksham News, part of the Wiltshire Publications Group, has served their community with integrity, providing factual reporting and holding public institutions accountable for over forty years. However, when recently it reported on criticism of the council for its policy of only using paid-for newspapers to advertise public notices, including the concerns raised by some councillors and the local MP after a motion to debate the issue was denied, Wiltshire Council halted all communications with the newspaper, declining to send press releases or respond to any enquiries. Is this Wiltshire, or North Korea?!

Melksham News claims it has received written confirmation from Wiltshire Council stating they do not feel able to engage with the publication. In a statement from Wiltshire Publications on behalf of Melksham News, they stated, “We are aware of a statement from Cllr Richard Clewer, leader of Wiltshire Council, in the press that raises concerns about our reporting and our supposed ‘campaign’ against Wiltshire Council.”

“In his statement, Cllr Clewer accuses Wiltshire Publications of running an ongoing campaign over the past two years to pressure the council into advertising statutory notices with us. He also claims that we have continued to present a negative narrative because the council has chosen not to advertise with us.”

“We feel these accusations are inaccurate and misrepresent our intentions. We have written only one article on the matter of public notices, published in our issue on 10th October. This followed the council chair’s decision not to consider a motion from Cllr Jon Hubbard. We categorically deny the claims of an ongoing campaign lasting over two years. The issue of public notices was first raised with the council in September 2023, and we have published only this one article on the subject since then. To characterise this as an ongoing campaign is both misleading and unfounded.”

“The matter of public notice policy concerns taxpayers’ money and public access to information. Our role is to ensure that the public is well-informed, especially on issues of transparency and public spending. Any suggestion that we are highlighting these issues for personal gain is not only inaccurate but entirely inappropriate.”

The statement from Melksham News continues, claiming Cllr Clewer stated their reporting has not been impartial. “It is unfair to accuse us of impartiality based on a single article, especially one that was grounded in data obtained via Freedom of Information requests and included a response from the council,” they said. “We do not feel it is the role of a statutory body to judge our editorial decisions. Editorial independence is essential to a free press, and it allows us to hold public institutions accountable. Our responsibility is to the public and presenting information based on fact. By refusing to engage with local media over a single article, the council’s actions undermine the principles of press freedom and open dialogue, which are essential to ensuring accountability and transparency in public institutions.”

Melksham News stated it stands by their reporting, remaining committed, “to informing our readers in an accurate and fair manner, ensuring that the community has access to the information it needs to hold its elected officials to account.” And here at Devizine, we stand by them too, believing we all should. On the last few occasions we’ve published anything about Wiltshire Council it was in support of their recent actions; the extension of the bus timetables, permission for a graffiti wall in Melksham; all pragmatic motions which proves when the council get it right it will be reported positively, even by us!! It is a shame then, to have to spoil the run with this, but silencing constructive criticism is deeply concerning to democracy.

In the midst of the past government’s ‘circus of thievery,’ we are surely all aware of press corruption, undermining press freedom at Conservative conferences and refusing entry to them, and the manipulation of the media to promote their ethos and obliterate opposing opinions. Most of us studied modern history and what happened in 1920’s Germany, don’t make me spell it out. And we’ve even seen this on a local level via unscrupulous control of social media groups by power-tripping councillors, but we’ve yet to realise this is happening to official media groups channelled by the county council, until now.

The shocking fact one lone keyboard warrior’s comment on Melksham News’ original Facebook post ludicrously pointed the finger at Prime Minister Keir Starmer, suggesting, “they are doing what Kier Starmer has told them to do as he doesn’t want the truth coming out so he is censoring all news and negative comments and newspapers telling the truth,” is proof enough, I believe, of how deeply the effect of misinformation is ingrained into forming public opinion and causing hysteria with a false narrative; that an a better education system!

How anyone could link this issue with the new Labour government when there’s not a red tie in sight at Wiltshire Council is beyond belief. It retains a Conservative majority and the leader of Wiltshire Council, Richard Clewer, the councillor enforcing this infringement of the common law of freedom of expression is a Conservative too. Yet it is worrying evidence that we need a rebalance in media bias; people believe this shit!! Hey, I stubbed my toe on the wheel of my sofa this morning. It’s blatantly obvious what’s happened here; Keir Starmer broke into my house, and moved my sofa a quarter of an inch to the left! 

I shouldn’t joke, this would be propaganda on an Orwellian level if it wasn’t laughably from a Council boasting being named as the seventh-best council in England in the latest IMPOWER Index, judged by how efficiently it delivers core services in relation to their budgets, as I dangerously bounce over the umpteenth pothole pondering if I should follow up on bias and braggart press releases like this! Someone needs to inform Cllr Clewer we have only left the European Union, Article 10 of the European Convention on Human Rights still stands in British law, giving us the right to freedom of expression. A right I will exercise, cheers me dears!

The newspaper’s operations manager, Joe McCann said, “local newspapers like ours are essential for holding public bodies to account and ensuring transparency in local government. By cutting off communication, the council is evading scrutiny and potentially controlling the flow of information, which is not just a concern for us as journalists but for the public as well.” Melksham News’s statement suggests similar; “This sets a dangerous precedent, where councils can silence critical voices instead of addressing legitimate concerns, ultimately undermining local democracy. This is an unprecedented move for a local council.”

Wiltshire Councillor Jon Hubbard, who represents Melksham South ward said, “I am deeply concerned and disappointed by the recent correspondence sent to Melksham Independent News, stating that Wiltshire Council will no longer correspond with the newspaper until they approve of the coverage provided. This kind of stance sets a dangerous precedent and threatens the principles of a free and independent press, which plays a vital role in holding local government to account. I sincerely hope that this decision is not politically motivated, as it would undermine the trust between the council and the residents it serves.”

“The press should never be expected to tailor their coverage to meet the approval of those in power—it is their duty to provide fair and accurate reporting to the community. I call on Wiltshire Council to explain why such a step has been deemed necessary and to reaffirm its commitment to transparency, openness, and constructive engagement with all media outlets. Our community deserves nothing less.”

Emma Meese, director at the Independent Community News Network (ICNN), who represents the independent press community, added, “The role of a journalist has always been to scrutinise and provide news that is in the public interest. It is concerning when a local authority decides it will not engage with the largest news provider in the area, for calling it out on its actions. We have to question the motive behind this decision by Wiltshire Council to try and control the narrative.”

Allow me then to speculate, we are, quite simply, face-to-face with a county council desperately clinging onto a dying Conservative philosophy and running scared till the point it fears constructive criticism. Yet by attempting to silence it makes the dangerous assumption we are foolish enough not to conclude from this that they’ve something to hide, and are doing so via manipulation of the media. Either that, or they really did send Keir Starmer to stealthily shift my sofa quarter of an inch to the right causing me to be unnecessarily tetchy this afternoon. Now, excuse me while I go shout at some Gen Zers vaping in the park like the level-headed indoctrinated boomer the mainstream media has convinced me to be!!!

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Wiltshire Council to Trial Street Art Wall in Melksham

Dope Wiltshire Council keepin’ it realz n ting, piloting a new legal art wall in Melksham to give artists the opportunity to showcase their talent without vandalising property; have we entered a new era for the county council, or a parallel universe?! Did they sustain a head injury breakdancing at County Hall?! Like, whatever, it’s both surprising and welcome news….

Perhaps they’ve looked at Swindon Paint Fest and seen how our nearest neighbour are decorating their town so wonderfully. The new art wall will be situated at the underpass on the A350 Bath Road in the town, and while it will continue to be managed and monitored by Wiltshire Council, a local community arts group will take on the day-to-day running of the wall, including the maintenance and cleaning of the artwork.

It will be the responsibility of all the users to ensure they keep to the specified area and adhere to the code of conduct, which includes no offensive tags and respecting all users of the underpass. All materials, such as paint and other art supplies, will be provided by the wall users, and the council will step in to remove any inappropriate artwork if required.

While this sounds subjective and restrictive towards freedom to express discontent in art, as street art often does, it’s a promising start we hope will expand into other towns. I guess we simply have to accept that the Council will be judge and jury on what constitutes “offensive.”” Not excluding, of course, the notion if they are to push too strictly on this, graffiti artists will simply go elsewhere, illegally, and the whole scheme is at risk of failure.

Image taken from this year’s Swindon Paint Fest

Cllr Nick Holder, Cabinet Member for Highways and Street Scene, said, “Graffiti is a longstanding antisocial issue across the country, and so we’re pleased to be able to trial this legal art wall in Melksham, with the hope it can be a success to roll out into other areas of the county.“

“We’ve spoken to other authorities, mostly in urban areas, that have trialled similar projects, and they have seen a fall in illegal graffiti, along with increased engagement with the community, and we hope we can do the same here in Wiltshire.“

I believe, and hope, they will be pleasantly surprised by the results, artistically, but the divide between what constitutes art and what constitutes vandalism is subjective and open to debate. Yet Mr Holder says, “We hope to see some fantastic artwork showcased on the wall once it launches later this year – along with a decrease in illegal graffiti in Melksham during the coming months.“ And I have to tip my hat to that, for while it’s too late for me and my spray paint days are over, it is the art movement of today, and like it or loathe it, it’s here to stay.

To get involved in the project, people should contact Richard Rogers, Strategic Engagement and Partnerships Manager, on richard.rogers@wiltshire.gov.uk(opens new window).

Wiltshire Council Leader Weeps Over The Scrapping of the Stonehenge Tunnel!

Tory tears welled at County Hall this week, when Cllr Richard Clewer, leader of Wiltshire Council threw his teddies from his pram over the Government’s motion to cancel the A303 Stonehenge tunnel project, while The Stonehenge Alliance welcomed the announcement by Chancellor Rachel Reeves to cancel the £2.5bn scheme as a “low value, unaffordable commitment.”

Clewer whimpered, “We are extremely dismayed and disappointed at the Government’s decision to cancel the A303 Stonehenge tunnel project. These improvements are needed now to ease traffic congestion on the A303 and reduce traffic in our communities, and also ensure economic growth in Wiltshire, unlocking jobs and investment in the wider south-west region.”

The Stonehenge Alliance alongside supporter-organisations such as Ancient Sacred Landscape Network, Campaign to Protect Rural England, Friends of the Earth, Rescue, the British Archaeological Trust, and Transport Action Network, believe the road should have been binned in 2020 when it was recommended for refusal, after a six month examination, for the damage it would cause to the World Heritage Site. The Examination Report, written by five planning inspectors, who presided over a six month examination, recommended that the application be refused.

Yet Cllr Richard Clewer continued, “It has taken many years of lobbying and working closely with partners, including National Highways, to bring this major infrastructure project to Wiltshire, and so it is a huge blow to get to the stage when construction is ready to begin, only to have this taken away from us at this late hour,” despite it seems these studies and a refusal from the High Court, the Conservative government at the time simply ignored them and continued to award contracts to construction companies regardless. So when the WC leader states, “There has already been £160m spent on this project, and cancelling it now wastes that huge investment,” who’s fault is that?! If I didn’t get planning permission to build a shed in my garden but paid a bloke to carry out the work anyway, I would bear the cost for my misjudgement, surely? It’s called acting responsibly!

John Adams, chair of the Stonehenge Alliance said, “This is a vindication of all the work of so many people over so many years from supporters around the world. National Highways’ misguided project was called out for what it was: low value and unaffordable. It was also highly damaging. Now that it has been scrapped, we need to move on. As soon as the budget is there, we need to ensure, as a priority, that local traffic is better managed and rail access to the South West improved.”

Tom Holland, historian and president of the Stonehenge Alliance, expressed his enthusiasm for the cancellation. “This is wonderful news,” he said. “This entire monstrous project, a proposal to drive a gash of concrete and tarmac through our most sacred prehistoric landscape, should never have got off the drawing board. That cancelling it will also save £2.5bn is obviously an additional perk.”

The councillor proposed the ‘monstrous project to drive a gash of concrete and tarmac through our most sacred prehistoric landscape,’ would “return the Stonehenge landscape to something like its original setting.”  

He’s certainly done his homework, young Dick, because it’s a lesser known fact the ancient Britons built a gurt concrete motorway tunnel underneath Stonehenge, and it even had a Little Chef. The Egyptians built a flyover over the Pyramid of Giza too, to ease 4th dynasty congestion in Cairo. The Hanging Gardens of Babylon was just a multi-storey car park decorated with a few hanging baskets, and the Mohawks made a giant plug to plug up Niagara Falls, so their canoes could cross the sea five minutes quicker!

Its original setting is impossible to recreate now, unless you’re Dr Who, and it’s as close as it ever will be, with the mounting campaign to wreck it, which the councillor is promoting and cannot see the hypocrisy in his outburst! But to further the gibberish, Clewer finished this sentence with the unbelievable, “and allow local communities greater access to the ancient stones and the surrounding World Heritage Site.” Greater access, really? I beg to differ, it’s been fine for five thousand years, now, all of a sudden, it feels like they want to hide it, unless you cross their palms with silver; typical Tory all round.

They’ve already rerouted traffic on the upper road, so you cannot access it unless you cough up £37 for a ticket, and should the tunnel have been constructed you’d never know it was there at all. The next generation of locals would be like Tess of the d’Urbervilles, despite living close they’d be oblivious to its existence.

Face it, his last paragraph was simply a smokescreen, when really the focus of his whinge was more about reducing “rat-running in our communities, to reduce journey times to the wider south-west, to boost economic growth in Wiltshire, and to unlock jobs and investment across the region.” 

It may’ve eased congestion, but destruction of the environment to do so would have been certain. We risked losing our World Heritage Site, its status as such, the appeal to tourism, the capital this brings to the county, and its historical and sacred connotations, and let’s face it, for nothing more than to get Gareth and Diane from Shrewton to Andover five minutes earlier. And that’s the real truth about this vanity project, a complete disregard for our environment and the financial benefits obtained from it to small businesses relying on tourism, simply so colossal building contracts can be backhanded to Conservative donor bum chums.

There never was a thought given to the elephant in the room, that the area is littered with undiscovered sites of archaeological importance, which once discovered by digging there, potentially wrecking, would halt the process and massively increase the cost of the project, spiralling it billions over budget. It would have been a horrorshow for future generations to frown upon us and ask “what the hell were they thinking?”

The Stonehenge Alliance explains the original budget of £1.7bn is from around 2017 and is clearly out of date. In an answer to Danny Kruger MP’s Parliamentary question on the 12th March 2024, which admits that even in 2018, the construction cost was estimated to be £1.9bn with maintenance costs of £8m a year. With construction inflation being so high since then, it is likely that the combined total cost of the scheme is over £2.5bn and that’s before it runs into any difficulties tunnelling in phosphatic chalk.

Regardless of the facts, Cllr Richard Clewer concluded, “We will remain committed to this project and will continue to work closely with all stakeholders to try to bring this project back to Wiltshire.”

But who is the proverbial “We” here? The Wiltshire Council press release suggests all the councillors are behind Mr Clewer on this one. Rather I favoured to ask our shiny new MP, Brian Mathew, also on Wiltshire Council, a penny for his thoughts, not that I gave him a penny, but still he replied, “I have been against the Stonehenge Tunnel since I first heard about it in around 2009. I was the only Councillor to speak out against it in 2017 when I was first elected to Wiltshire Council.” 

When Rachel Reeves outlined her proposals to Parliament, she said Labour would not go ahead with the A303 Stonehenge scheme, but she didn’t say it was cancelled. However, in the published policy paper the scheme is listed as cancelled, therefore Clewer’s claims to remain committed to a project definitely cancelled is wasting time in office and even more taxpayer’s money; they failed to fix the existing roads from defects the size of moon craters for years, let alone engineer a project as technical as this!

It surely then serves as an example of how this immature response to the results of the general election in many of our Conservatives remaining in positions of power is simply going to hinder progress, and it’s time, now the deed is done in parliament, to eradicate this Conservative ethos which values the financial gain of multinational companies over that of smaller businesses and the aesthetics of our communities, across the board, once and for all.

Much less, we suffer from hairbrained vanity building schemes such as this, destroying our heritage, wildlife and tourist attractions just for the sake of easing congestion without the need for the drastic environmental measures necessary to be sustainable. It’s time to improve public transport in Wiltshire, so Gareth and Diane can get from Shrewton to Andover by choo-choo train. Get with the program, silly boy! 

Devizes Road Resurfacing Plan Abolished Due to Dinosaur Fossil in Pothole

Wiltshire Council’s ambitious plans to resurface all the roads in Devizes before the next ice age have been cancelled because rare dinosaur fossils have been found in the potholes on Estcourt Street, by the Morrisons roundabout….

Head of Wiltshire Council, Dick Cleaver, a keen fossil finder in his spare time, discovered the fossil of what is believed to be a baby Tyrannosaurus Rex when inspecting the potholes personally. “I’ve always had a keen eye for spotting fossils,” he explained, “there’s lots of them at County Hall.” 

“We’ve suspected Devizes had a prehistoric past, a breeding ground for dinosaurs like the T-Rex we’ve found,” Cllr Cleaver continued. “This is why we’ve deliberately not fixed a single pothole for the last decade or two, but we couldn’t announce the reasoning until we found some concrete evidence.”

Now they have, Wiltshire Council have had no choice but to suspend plans to fix the potholes. “They are of vital archaeological interest,” the councillor expressed, “a freestanding baby Tyrannosaurus Rex fossil perfectly intact like this is an extraordinarily rare find. Who knows what other feeble excuses, oh, sorry, I meant paleontological relics the potholes will unearth? Archaeology excavations are costly, thanks to the potholes we’ve saved crucial spending costs to the taxpayers.”

It is thought the dinosaur died from either Sarsan dropstones falling from the melting glacier on Roundway Hill, 65 million years ago to this very day, the 1st of April, or it was hit by a speeding Waltery Rosely butchers delivery driver. Councillor Yan Wallish said, “it is unfortunate that local archaeologist Professor Brian Schmuck, the independent verificator of the discovery sadly has gone mysteriously missing in his brand new Porsche just hours before releasing his report, and the document is password secured on his Speak & Spell.”

The contract for excavation of the site has been awarded to Strongishold Global Archaeological Research, a newly-formed subsidiary of John Turner’s company, partner of local MP Michelle Donenought. Ms Donenought was excited by the news, stating, “there’s been a decline in requirements for bogus PPE fleecing the NHS, since the end of the pandemic, and Johnny’s profits have felt the crunch; we thought we might have to sell the second yacht. By coincidence SGAR has just been set up for precisely this kind of exciting discovery, so we’re delighted; imagine trying to live with just the one yacht, like Chippenham chavs. Oh, by the way, I can say what I like about anyone now, and if they sue, you the taxpayers cough it up, how fantabulous is that?”

Amazingly fortunate, SGAR was registered as a company at London’s Company House, with its banking in the Cayman Islands, just five minutes before the discovery of the fossil. With the potholes already at considerable depth, little further work needs to be done over the next millennium and the company could employ as many as three experts in the field. “Expect an insignificant rise in your council tax to cover the cost,” Cllr Cleaver explained, “for as little as an extra £30 a week to the average household, Devizes could become the archeological site of interest for the entire county, especially as we’re wrecking Stonehenge this coming summer. I’m sure residents will be delighted with the news.”

Accusations made by Wiltshire’s gutter press, the Wiltshire Hive newsite were quickly dismissed by the council. Editor Kenny J Plebb, alleged the discovery was a hoax, and a feeble excuse for not fixing the potholes, as he spoke with Cllr Cleaver’s mum, who claimed some fossils had recently gone missing from her son’s private collection which he kept in a biscuit tin under his bed. Then she asked the Wiltshire Hive reporter for the fifty quid he offered her, but Kenny just ran away giggling, after showing her his Spiderman underpants.

Councillor Yan Wallish reminded residents that the roads are the property of Wiltshire Council, and anyone found interfering with any archaeological discoveries, by “driving past them with the expression of a woke loony lefty,” would result in the persons responsible being permanently banned from his Tory bias pornographic Facebook group, Devizes Tissues. “And no one wants that to happen,” he expressed, “if they want the free pix of Liz Truss in her undercrackers, that I recently acquired, and who wouldn’t? Corr, I’ve cracked a few out over that, I tell you.”

The baby Tyrannosaurus Rex townsfolk are calling “Barney,” was approached for an interview, but as of yet has refused to comment, which is a shame because he would likely make more sense than your average Tory councillor dinosaur. What is becoming clear through these findings is that Devizes was hugely populated with these beasts, but despite the T-Rex left masses of footprints measuring 1.55 feet in length, Devizes roads were significantly smoother during the Jurassic period than they are now. Mum may have gone to Iceland, but it seems T-Rex shopped at Morrisons. The dinosaurs were naïve to a bargain, and likely missed out on hotdog stuffed crust pizza and chicken tikka lasagne for a pound fifty each.

The only question remains if the dinosaurs of today’s Devizes are equally as naïve to believe any of this April Fools joke. I’d like to think it’s really scraping the bottom of the barrel to expect anyone to fall for this, but the clickbait keywords are all here for a healthy hitting article, like Devizes and pothole, hot topics right now for some unknown reason.

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Wiltshire Council’s Public Transport Survey, Answered!

Wiltshire Council are asking public transport users, residents, businesses and visitors in the county to take part in a public transport review, to help shape the future of sustainable public transport in Wiltshire. “Have your say on the future of bus services in Wiltshire,” they said, okay, I will thank you…..

I was hoping for questions such as, “for how many days do you usually camp by the bus stop waiting for the number 33?” or “if two quid can get you anywhere on a bus, ever wondered why we run one to Calne?!” but shamefully, they simply didn’t come up.

See, radical as it may be to Wiltshire Council, but I strongly believe, and always have, that the wheels on the bus should go round and round, round and round, round and round. But here’s the clinch in the deal, the wheels on the bus go round and round, as they should, all day long, and not, as they currently do, run until half-past four and stop wherever it happens to be at that point! Night buses; a thing other councils have. Here, they couldn’t imagine why anyone would require a bus after the ungodly hours of  five pm, as you should all be safe and warm in your houses by such a time, masticating on Aldi cheesy puffs and watching a TV show with Ant and Dec in.

Secondly, the people on the bus go up and down, up and down, up and down, the people on the bus go up and down, because the roads are rife with potholes and defects the size of moon craters, where Wiltshire Council has failed dismally to keep up with the repair of them, assuming we can all afford a Chelsea tractor like them. No, we have not been hit by a meteor shower, and we don’t require Bruce Willis’s drilling team, just some councillors who give a toss.

Now, if the wipers on the bus go swish, swish, swish, swish, swish, swish, swish, it’s because it’s always chucking it down, and unfortunately this is something I cannot blame Wiltshire Council for, but if I could find a valid reason, I would, just for the crack.

Hey, am I right in thinking, the boy on the bus waves his hand, waves his hand, waves his hand, the boy on the bus waves his hand, because he’s futilely attempting to waft away carbon monoxide fumes coming in through the dust and dirt layered window? Many other county councils have graduated to electric buses, ours wait until Salisbury has a coastline before acting to protect the environment. The boy must be waving at his own reflection, as the windows on the bus haven’t seen a clean rag since the nineteen eighties.

I’ve also be told, the horn on the bus goes beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, the horn on the bus goes beep, beep, beep, because sensible infrastructure planning in local towns is far too proactive and intelligent for councillors who need instructions on shampoo bottles; congestion solutions are for girls!

If indeed, the doors on the bus go open and shut, open and shut, open and shut, and the doors on the bus go open and shut, all day long, it must be a fault in the hydraulics somewhere, because it’s not so popular really, is it, getting a bus around here? The only people who can afford a bus here are the ones who don’t need a bus.

So, the baby on the bus goes wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, and if you politely sigh you’re likely to get a gob-full from some Karen. The mother on the bus going hush, hush, hush, hush, hush, hush, is an outright lie, isn’t it? If she dedicated the same time to her baby as she has TikTok the poor little one wouldn’t be going wah, wah, wah, now, would it? Personally, I’m sceptical about this entire verse. How did the baby get on the bus? By the time the bus arrives at their stop the baby will be off to college. 

Now, go figure why using Wiltshire buses is the last desperate resource for many, and aren’t gathering any popularity anytime soon, but if you fancy it, the survey is HERE! The consultation begins on Tuesday 3 October and ends at 23:59 on Friday 10 November, which is, coincidently, a quicker service than the 49 from Swindon!

Seriously though, we’ve a lovely bus service really, you know I’m only kidding….. answer the survey, sensibly!

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Humble Pie Over Danny K’s Coate Road Development Comments Rant? Unlikely!

Oh Deirdre me, we can’t all be as perfect and flawless as Councillor Iain Wallis, and as the Dalek said climbing off the dustbin, we all make mistakes!

Cream crackered after my standard early shift, on Tuesday I rushed out a knee-jerk reaction to Danny Kruger’s comments against the permitted Coate Road development, because I knew other local media would also jump on the bandwagon; you have to be quick to beat the big guns.

It has since come to light, thanks to a civilised reply from councillor Judy Rose, some of the content is slightly misinformed, but while I’m willing to admit it, if you think I’m eating humble pie you can think again! There remains a more general crucial point, I figure, even if some facts about the development itself weren’t, precisely, on the ball.

I might just nibble the crust, if humble pie comes with a crust, or is it more like a shepherd’s pie? Either way it’s unlikely I’ll dive right in, least of all apologise, that’s sooo not me! Much of the content was taken from a BBC article, and what can I say? I pay my licence fee, local media source content from the Tory-bias Beeb, at least I tarnish mine with opinion rather than lift it wholesale. 

It was Danny’s u-turned angle which had me suspicious, it seemed now he was in support of the campaign against it, as before this storm in a teacup I too was dead against the location of this development and signed petitions against it. But the reasoning for Tuesday’s article was my dubiousness of anything which comes out of Danny’s silver-spooned cakehole; can you really blame me for that?!

Justified, I believe, after his several chauvinistic and homophobic comments. Comments which I called him out for, and via Councilor Iain Wallis’s wonky peepers, constituted me being “unpleasant,” I quote. Trying to twist my melon around this, ol’ Danny K can cast any archaic and deplorable views he feels fit to do so, and use his position as MP to preach his narrow-minded religious dogma, but if I question him for it, I’m the one being “unpleasant?” Okay, that sounds fair!

“I’m afraid you’ve really got this wrong,” Judy expressed, “Not about Kruger, although I find his conversion to opposing the 5-year housing land supply a rather dramatic and convenient vote-solidifying change-of-heart, but about the very real concerns regarding the Coate Road development.” Which is fair enough, and enlightening too. For it is far nicer to address such corrections to us directly, rather than Mr Wallis, who opted to post his hatred only on his own biassed Facebook group, Devizes Issues, of which anyone who disagrees is promptly banned, including us.  

This practice of slagging us off behind our backs is standard for this particular councillor, and far from the first time he has done so. Why he does this I can only speculate neither wish to dwell on, but being he recently posted a claim Wiltshire Council is about to produce an events guide, (obviously at taxpayer’s expense) seems he is determined to attempt to wreck our good reputation, or ruin us all together. I’d imagine because he has no control over us. It is vindictive and spiteful, and given such circumstances it is evident, much less blatantly obvious, his intention wasn’t to correct us, rather deliberately discredit us.

Back on point, Judy explained, “The traffic from this housing estate would mostly use London Road, or rat-run via Coate to access the Swindon road. Adding potentially some 4-500 cars to that stream of traffic is a nightmare scenario by any account, which is why it was refused last time round, and nothing has changed in the interim. More affordable (and we can get into precisely what that is supposed to mean on another occasion, as in my view, it frequently is anything but!) housing is desperately needed, but there will be precious little of it on this or any other site if the developers do their usual cavalier approach and whittle down the numbers to as near zero as they can!”

“I have been on the Neighbourhood Plan team for over 10 years, and the most frustrating thing is that we cannot get the numbers of affordable housing up because developers just will not build them, so please don’t imagine that if this scheme went ahead, there would be a sudden upsurge in their numbers! The developer may well be bragging about 30% affordable housing, but we’ve been here before with other developer promises, and I’ve yet to see any dramatic increase in numbers of so-called affordable housing! Traffic jams would certainly increase, but not affordable housing numbers!”

And herein was my point, if confused with the details of the development itself, that affordable, and by this I mean it by the actuality of the word, affordable, is needed. If I was trashed by Iain for stating 10% was the minimal requirement, I did clearly say that was a national requirement, not a county one, leading me to ponder if it was deliberate skewering of my words, or if he simply missed that point, either of which suggests I wasn’t the only one who made a mistake! But whatever, it is obvious this percentage needs to be increased significantly by Wiltshire Council, otherwise they’re building homes only the few can afford, and not enough for those who cannot; Tory economics.

Ergo my suspicions this is deliberately done to uphold the conservative stranglehold on our constituency at a time they fear their national level corruption will come back to haunt them, even here, is, I believe, reasonable to assume. Fair to note, this is also the reason while Conservative MPs will fight between themselves over the boundary changes in the next General Election, as Chippenham MP Michelle Donelan knows full well her seat is safer if the Devizes parliamentary constituency is merged with hers.

But I want this change as I fear this recession will worsen tenfold if the current thieving parliament continues, and more will be on the streets. I want this change because I want diversity in the age demographic here; it is a nice place to live, this wouldn’t change by allowing younger people to be able to start a home and family here too. But they are driven out by house prices, and this is unfair and morally corrupt. This was my general point, and I believe it is still valid; what is the best Wiltshire can do?

“The best Wiltshire seems to be able to do is to propose a site for social housing at the western end of town where it is not only outside the settlement framework boundary,” Judy continued, “but its location also ignores the other criteria of the current Neighbourhood Plan which stipulates that the town centre, GP Surgeries, major shops and schools should all be within walking distance of any development! At well over a mile from any of these, this site fails, yet it is still likely to go ahead, with increased car usage, mainly because it is a Wilts Council proposal on Wilts Council land!” Does this mean every small village and hamlet will have to be knocked down?! Of course not, if residents cannot walk a mile, they need to rely on an improved bus service; pie in the sky called infrastructure, it works in towns and cities far bigger than ours!

“There are sites that are more appropriate than Coate Road, but they are not coming forward, and it is not unreasonable to assume that this is because the developers wouldn’t make as much profit on affordable builds as they would otherwise.” Once again, the Tory economics, the majority mind-bogglingly voted for!

I thank Judy for filling us in, and explaining this twisted catch 22; I am clearer now, though remain unsatisfied; does this give others reason to hate me? We will always support the needs of the townsfolk and villagers, we would never go against this, and we are back to opposing the Coate Road development again, even if it means agreeing with Danny K!

But this was never, as falsely accused by Councillor Wallis, a personal attack on our homophobic and chauvinistic MP any more than deserved, only pondering why he had changed his view so fiercely on the issue. If, Mr Wallis, you can point out exactly where I have been in any way “unpleasant” as you so boldly put it, and do so in such a place it can be discussed civilly then please do, and I will, unlike you, apologise. But if you continue to unfairly discredit us on a social media site you have deliberately prevented us access to, you will face further criticism, but I love you Mr Wallis, like I love all mankind, and have never verbally attacked you personally, as you have to me; I forgive.

“The original refusal really was all about the traffic, and nothing to do with how any householders would vote,” Judy concluded, “Goodness knows, the majority of folk here who do bother to use the ballot box would vote for a donkey wearing a blue rosette without much further inducement!” 

And thus we go around in circles; expect an unjustified “told you so” grilling from the Devizes führer on his partisanship pile of piffle Facebook page, of which, because of our brute honesty, we cannot respond to, complete with the usual false allegations of victimisation, how we are bullying him and how, Trump-like, we are spreading “fake news.” At least I can admit when I got it wrong, or do we still need to slaughter every flying animal in the area because of an imaginary outbreak of bird flu on the Crammer?!  

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Wiltshire Council Replicate Table Mountain in Devizes Pothole…

…..and other niggly countywide troubles doner meat and chips from Chick-o-Land will stop me ranting about…..

Speculation arises if the entire additional £3.6m awarded to Wiltshire Council from the Department for Transport’s Pothole Fund, has been used to fix just the one pothole on Gains Lane, Devizes, opposite Sainsburys, because there’s bugger all sign of it being used elsewhere….

Miraculously, the single pothole amidst a multitude of other serious road defects in the county with the fifth worst local authority for fixing potholes, has been filled in… over abundantly, leading residents pondering if the county council are trying to attract tourism by replicating Cape Town’s most renowned landmark,Table Mountain.

Spot the difference!

The road defect on Gains Lane, Devizes
Table Mountain, Cape Town

The hilarious irony is, Wiltshire Council are doing the precise opposite when it comes to tourism, and are hellbent on wiping our county off the tourist track all together, inadvertently risking the future of all leisure facilities too.

But, oopsy daisy, you weren’t supposed to know about the grave concerns expressed to town and parish councils by the Chief Executive of Visit Wiltshire on the Government’s new national structure for tourism, which will see the introduction of countywide accredited Local Visitor Economy Partnerships, and as result, Wiltshire Council announcing they will be withdrawing their funding from Visit Wiltshire from April 2024, because withdrawing funding leaves Wiltshire no longer able to meet eligibility criteria to have an accredited LVEP, and it will be effectively ripped off the tourism map of England. Ha, that barrel of laughs is for another place, another time, and I apologise to Wiltshire Council for any accidental leakage until such a time you can illegally trash Stonehenge’s world heritage status by tunnelling a road underneath it, my tongue just runs off with itself sometimes.

Don’t be outraged, there’s time yet to devise a plan as cunning as Baldrick’s to act as a smokescreen and make you believe it’s all for “the greater good.” Cue a certain local Facebook tintop dictator, my very own ineffective fact checker with a penchant for anything corrupt provided it’s suggested by a straight chap with a blue rosette; please try to recognise satire when it stares you in the face.

Not that I’d advise taking business advice from me, but if you own a small business in Wiltshire which relies on tourism, I would only buy stock to last until April if I were you, and consider a crash course in supermarket shelf-filing. Baby-face Danny K, get us a railway station six miles out of town, let’s escape together, we can exchange homophobic gags on the way, step on it!

Anyway, I digress, I shouldn’t worry my silly little head about the vanity of this ease of backhanding futile construction permits once we’re free of tourism, we were rapping about the tarmac on the singular entity on Gains Lane, Devizes, which is so vastly overpacked its convex is an equal malformation to the concave of the original pothole, which, face it, like many locally had the potential of a black hole to suck light, electromagnetic waves and randomly selected solar systems into it. The effect, rather than your wheel dropping into it and smashing suspension, coils, anti-roll bars, et al (which is, even funnier, impossible to prove over the “wear and tear” loophole) is now like navigating a tepuis, or table top mountain in a shopping trolley; hit it and you’re likely to bust open the headliner and bonnet of your vehicle, with your head.

If it happened to you, you may feel a tad dizzy, and confused enough to vote for these councillors again come council elections, which could well be the reasoning behind it. Perhaps it could lead to further famous table mountains being replicated in our county’s potholes, like Mount Roraima, the most famous tepui in Venezuela, or the Canyonlands of Utah; now, wouldn’t that be nice?

Of course, this is purely satirical speculation for amusement purposes only, and it is more conceivable that the council worker simply couldn’t be arsed to flatten it out, let alone use the surplus tarmac to fill the upteen other potholes nearby it, for that would be far too proactive and because it’s highly likely they’ve forgotten what a pay rise is.

Fact is, as Cabinet Member for Transport Caroline Thomas has, in the drone of a weatherman on dope, blamed the annual 400% increase in potholes on “a combination of a long dry summer followed by periods of very wet and then freezing conditions,” we should take her word for it, as it’s not like we’ve experienced seasonal weather changes since, I dunno, eternity, is it? And we should stop bothering them as there are far more pressing issues, such as forgetting to take one’s expenses form when frequenting that trendy wine bar. 

The Cape Town Tourism website says Table Top Mountain has attracted 24 million visitors since it opened in 1929. Not that I’m the kinda guy wondering how you open a mountain, let alone with the restricted technology back in 1929, but perhaps it’s something worth considering before all tourists are left wondering whatever happened to that place between Berkshire and Somerset, and they could all nip into Chick-o-Land and pick me up some doner meat and chips; might shut me up for a bit.

Wiltshire Council has “A complete disregard for the residents of Devizes,” says Guardian Jonathan Hunter

You’ve got to award Gazette & Herald reporter Jason Hughes the journalism medal of bravery this week, for his dissemination on head of the Devizes Guardians, Jonathan Hunter’s mien concerning the tardiness of communication by Wiltshire Council over the current state of our roads!

The headline read “Devizes potholes cause misery for motorists, councillor claims.” Claims? Wha?! Does this guy get to go outside at playtime?! Has he seen the state of it out there? It’s like a lunar landscape after a flipping meteor shower! When Jules Verne wrote Journey to the Centre of the Earth, fittingly about volcanic tubes that reach the centre of the earth, he was inspired by Wiltshire’s roads; fact!

Honestly, honesty is a must here, let’s not get impassive on this breaking scoop; we all know the truth, we’ve known for some time, and hats off to town councillor Jonathan Hunter for digging the claws in.

“A road repairs promise was made two years ago,” he explained, “last week I wrote to Cllr Caroline Thomas on behalf of the residents of Devizes who face the reality of an appalling local road network. Cllr Thomas, has given a statement through the press but after a week I’m still waiting for a reply to my email, which apart from being unprofessional and rude, it signals that the cabinet members approach is not community first and shows a complete disregard for the residents of Devizes.”

I responded, “probably because she owns a Chelsea tractor,” with a little emoji of a tractor in hope to cheer him up! What can I say? I was under pressure and it was the best I could come up with at the time. But what can we do about it? Here’s Jonathan’s top four tips, which makes a terrible headline, because people love “top ten tips,” five, perhaps, Jonathan, but not four, no. Still, they’re good ones.

1. Continue to bombard WC using MyWilts the app, to report potholes. Whilst this system is very reactive it’s the best that they can offer.

2. Write to Cllr Thomas and share your concerns, I can’t guarantee that she will read or even reply but the more residents that express their concerns may make a difference. caroline.thomas@wiltshire.gov.uk

3. Please identify hazardous areas to your friends, neighbours or colleagues who are vulnerable. In particular, those with mobility difficulties.

4. At the 2025 Wiltshire Council unitary election remember the promises that were made in 2021 and the reality of how those promises have been implemented across your local road network.

“There are three areas of key concern in Devizes,” Jonathan told the Gazette, “London Road is the main road coming in and out and that isn’t great at all. Bath Road and also Windsor Drive, which is an interconnecting road, the surface degradation on those roads is really poor.” And continued to express his concern for damaged pavements reducing the accessibility and safety for vulnerable pedestrians.

After such, the article does give this press reply by Cllr Thomas, which goes thus: “The hot, dry summer of last year, and the very wet and very cold weather so far this winter has unfortunately created the perfect conditions for potholes to form across the 2,500-mile road network. We’re doing all we can to repair them, using all our skilled workforce and resources, with the priority being to make the road safe.”

Now, I did rant on this subject at the beginning of February, quoting Cabinet Member for Transport, Dr Mark McClelland’s axiomatic piffle direct from the council’s website, so let’s have a little game of spot the difference here: “The weather has provided the perfect conditions for potholes to form, and that’s why we’re seeing an increase in the number of road defects throughout the county.”

Uncanny, huh?! At least they’re singing off the same song sheet I suppose. Probably written on the wall at county hall, “just reword this weather-blaming twaddle if the press asks!”

Well, please accept my apologises, but I’m not the press, just the milky, the milky inspired by Stephen Mulhern of Catchphrase to “say what I see,” and with a tendency to do precisely that; it’s an abomination which so obviously could have been avoided with ongoing proactive maintenance, even Mr Chips can see it, and he’s a fictional yellow bollard with a clown’s nose, naked other than a cravat.

“The roads are very dangerous for all users,” Jonathan expressed his concern, “pothole repairs should just be an emergency fix to prevent a serious accident, they are not a permanent solution as the substance shrinks within the original road defect. Unfortunately, it would seem WC have adopted pothole repairs as their main strategy to improve crumbling roads with surface degradation. The lack of engagement is a poor show and speaks volumes.”

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Stay Out of Trouble! Wiltshire Council’s Drop-In Event Targets Young Criminals Only

Ka-pow, ker-runch, ker-splat! Fear not good citizens of Devizes, waftastic Wiltshirecouncilman is here to save us from the evil delinquent Dylan and the Acne Street Gang! The devastating plan is to hold a “drop-in event to update on work to reduce youth anti-social behaviour in the town,” at the Corn Exchange from 9:30am to noon on Thursday 2nd March; that’ll give them a ruddy good telling off for sure!

Does anyone else see an immediate flaw in the plan? By very definition it’s counterproductive. Wiltshire Council send out a powerful message to our youth; their crimes are unacceptable, but we’re all fine with crimes committed by older people. Why not drop the “youth” tagline all together, and see any crime committed by any age with the same degree of urgency? Just, y’ know, a fleeting notion of fairness.

Way to go to marginalise society and section off a particular group according to age, that’s sure not to stoke the fire. And when can we expect a similar event to tackle crimes committed by adults, pray tell?!

We have a current issue in Devizes with some wayward youths, no one can deny it, it’s no secret, but from a minority. That’s the crucial point, all pigeonholing them is going to do is encourage a barrier between age groups and welcome more teenagers into the rut; you’re only going to make matters worse, you blind and foolish old fuddy-duddies!

We cannot expect to obtain upstanding young citizens by tarnishing them all with the same brush. Still social media is awash with pitchfork welding folk, condoning medieval punishments, and admin of these groups fail to deal outrageous comments promoting vigilante violence; look at yourself, publishing your futile online vengeance on youths, and still then ponder why they rebel so. Ever heard of a thing called an endless circle?

Places of real-life social interaction are no better, full of elders firing daggers from their eyes at any younger person who happens to pass by. I’ve spoken to young people about their fear of going into cafes for the dirty looks they’ll receive, despite doing no wrong and not having any intentions of. What else is there here for them to do, where do you expect them to go?

Cllr Peter Hutton, Portfolio Holder for Safeguarding at Wiltshire Council said of the event, “this will be an informal and interactive morning where you can talk to the people who are working with Devizes residents in all sorts of ways with a common goal of making the town a safer place to live.” But what about the people who this really effects most? We must readdress the balance here, focus too on the victims, not just the criminals. Children and young people are disproportionately more likely to be victims of crime, particularly the most serious crimes, by any age group including their own. And where are the group most affected by this issue between the set hours of 9:30-noon? At school or college most likely.

The very fact they’ve been excluded from this event sends a shiver up my spine. It’s as if to say they’ve no valid point to bring to the table, or any they might have, are worthless, amidst this wealth of grownup’s experience. Why not make the time later, so it’s convenient to all to cast their views? Why not bring this “roadshow” to schools and colleges?

As we age it’s all too easy to forget how it feels to be younger, but not giving young people the benefit of the doubt is detrimental to them reacting angrily against the system. I may’ve been criminalised in my youth, but day-to-day I forget those occurrences, wish I was that age again, only because I view it through rose-tinted specs. It was never as easy as memory serves me. I rebelled, and much of the anguish came from my elders; the powers that be, parents, et al. They never understood, I felt trapped, a child in an adult world, and reacted with rebellious anger. Why? Because it was a thrill to, it exposed a crack in the boredom, an escape.

Yet top-heavy Conservative thinking Wiltshire Council and Police are backing a government which has acted far worse than these few wayward kids. They’ve lied their way through government, they’ve profited and partied while ordinary folk watched their loved ones die. They continue to drain every penny out of public services, to reduce the education budget to the point the teachers must strike, they’re determined to increase the poverty divide to line their own pockets, and we ignore it in order to focus on some naughty children. They are hardly setting the shining example of moral upstanding citizens. As Michael Jackson said, “if they wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change.”

Or perhaps a more poignant musical quote could come from Woody Guthrie, “some will rob you with a six-gun, some with a fountain pen.” Purchase a security light for your home if you favour being robbed by the energy companies rather than some hoodlums in your shed at night.

Here’s a better plan, councillors, et al who follow the blue rosette, resign from your Conservative Party, and stand independently. Show them you don’t side with criminals before invoking your hypocrisy on the youth. For our young are no fools, and I, for one, salute them for taking a stance, I applaud their patience and endurance with the disgusting way they’re being treated.

Some will resort to crime, it’s a terrible thing, I wish it didn’t have to be this way, and I certainly would never condone it. But they’re not alone as a generation; history proves time-over during eras of abject poverty crime will increase. It’s not a problem with “youth of today” rather a problem with a minority of youth, historically. Rubbing their faces in it, plotting behind their backs isn’t going to help.

Wiltshire’s Police and Crime Commissioner, Philip Wilkinson, an advocate of conservatism, says of the event, “this is a great opportunity for members of the public to hear first-hand the importance of the work that is being done as a result of the Home Office funding to tackle youth anti-social behaviour in the Devizes area and focus on ways to help prevent it.” But what’s his views on rural crime in general, to have called hunt saboteurs only gathering evidence of crimes committed by those who should be considered mature enough to know better, “balaclava wearing thugs,” when we’ve all seen the recent concrete evidence as to who the real thugs are?

https://www.wiltshire999s.co.uk/uproar-police-banned-hunt-member-rural-officer

The only smidgen of positive came from inspector Ben Huggins, Devizes sector Policing Inspector, who said, “we recognise that there are some anti-social behaviour issues in Devizes at the moment. We are and have been tackling them. My officers will always respond swiftly and robustly to reports of this nature; however, we know more needs to be done and this is not a problem that can be solved by us the police alone. So, this initiative is very much welcomed – involving not only the agencies we already work with but the wider community.  Hopefully, we can all resolve this problem by working together.”

It goes without saying, we offer our eternal thanks to the bobby on the beat. I certainly don’t envy their job at times like these, and in having to deal with the issues which arise from this, but there’s radical thinking we need to put on the table in order to tackle it, not the seemingly militant stance of conservatism. Communication with the youth is key, obviously, for crying out loud, including them in events like this, allowing them a voice.

Give a little to take a little, isn’t it? Treat them with respect and that respect will come back to you; see if it doesn’t, but apply something out of Robocop it will never be solved and we just go round in circles. I welcome the idea of this gig, but if they wished to build bridges, making it time appropriate for those most affected to attend would be logic, really, one would’ve thought, or are we just a community of hypocritical pitchfork welding rednecks?

Actually, don’t answer that one!

The Great Pothole Debacle; Are Wiltshire Councillors Teleported into County Hall?!

As a younger chap, for it once was so, I’d procrastinate with the washing-up, putting it off until the point I’d run out of cutlery or crockery. By this time the daunting task of tackling the mountain was too much to bear. Not forgoing, I’d be suspicious organic matter in the sink could’ve evolved into a dispassionate and sadistic varmint which would, acting in defence of its dwelling, ambush my digits, and marigolds would make unless armour.

In maturity I’ve learned engaging proactive to chores will prevent such issues from building to an uncontrollable catastrophe, but remain convinced, by driving on any road in the county, Wiltshire Council hasn’t yet reached such maturity. Their dithering, wilful ignorance of Section 41 of the Highways Act 1980, has spawned an infestation of intractable and accrescent critters: potholes, and they breed like rabbits.

Agreed, like a birdwatcher finding a rare Capercaillie, I’ve seen council workers patching up the deadliest potholes of recent, here and there, but take The Kings Road, Easterton, for example, which for a while now I’ve renamed the Kamikazes Road, for my own personal white-knuckled amusement. Here, over the past week, they’ve shoved some hardcore in the odd pothole which has occupied the road for an insurmountable eon, ticked it off as a job well done, and returned to base for tea and custard creams. The equivalent of which in my washing-up metaphor would be to rinse a teaspoon I found rotting behind the fridge under the cold tap.

Of course, Cabinet Member for Transport, Dr Mark McClelland has waffled this axiomatic piffle on the council’s website, “The weather has provided the perfect conditions for potholes to form, and that’s why we’re seeing an increase in the number of road defects throughout the county.”

Akin to a football manger telling the presenter, “It’s a game of two halves,” tell us something we don’t know, like perhaps coupled with Dr McClelland’s valid point is also the unmentioned minor technicality they failed dismally to repair potholes for the last two previous years, minimum. Yeah, the increase of road defects is caused by bad weather, I’ll give him, but bad management too. Like my washing-up, if you don’t address the issue promptly, we see potholes on potholes on potholes, on, well, you get the picture; it’s of a lunar landscape, and you’re cycling one of those old Boneshaker bicycles over it.

Potholes are so rife in Wiltshire; people have started using them to give directions. “Oh-argh, go down road for six potholes, past the pensioners playing street golf, you’ll see a really massive pothole, not the one where Kate Winslet is grasping driftwood crying over drowning Leonardo DiCaprio, but a much deeper one, turn right there and it’s just past the third pothole on the left!”

Okay, you roll your thunder; cease the satirical ranting and tell us what we can do about it, I hear your cry. Here’s the longwinded Wiltshire Councillor Dr McBellend again, with the official advice: “Wiltshire Council has an online reporting system called MyWilts that people can use to report problems on the council’s roads and footways. This can be either accessed by computer or an app downloaded from the relevant app store. Reports received from MyWilts are processed accordingly and customers updated through the Council’s reporting and management systems.”

Like everything these days, from parking your car to ordering at Nandos, you must go to a website, download an app, create an account, and customise yourself to the inner-workings of the profiteering geek mate of the council who invented it.

According to the Wiltshire Highways Safety Inspection Manual, depending on priority and road size, it can take anything up to 60 days for them to address the issue, which, based on past experience, seems to be to send a team out to inspect, possibly spray paint a colourful circle around it, or in severe cases stick a traffic cone in it, return to base to file the report and grab some tea and custard creams. By which time umpteen drivers have lost a wheel in the pothole you’re attempting to inform them about.

Technophobes are shit out. I like to think I’m savvy, but it took me little under an hour to make head nor tail of the app, and report a SINGLE road defect, when the county is awash with them, on every single road, multitudes of them, potholes on potholes, remember? How much spare time do they think we have?

One has to wonder how Councillors get to county hall. Are they blindfolded? Are they teleported in like Captain Kirk? How come they cannot see what we see? Oh yeah, the gas-guzzling Chelsea tractor brigade, I forgot; why don’t we all just save up and buy ourselves a 4×4, goes the pig-ignorant Conservative thinktank. Because we’re scrapping the barrel to put food on the table due to their general incompetence of a thousand other issues I could rant a tangent on, that’s why, and we really don’t need the added expense of avoidable car repairs.

Oh, but, oh, what’s that you say? You can reclaim expenses from Wiltshire Council if your vehicle is damaged due to potholes? Yes, I hear that, and after months of paperwork there’s been some success stories; ninety days is the legal maximum allowed, they will take advantage of that while your kids go hungry.

Provided you take a multitude of photos and videos of the damage, the questionable pothole with a tape measure or sonic deep-sea echo sounder, and its surroundings, provide indisputable evidence it was said pothole, add some interesting history about any neighbouring landmarks, and possibly bribe them with proper posh Waitrose biscuits rather than working class custard creams, you can retrieve some but rarely all your costs, should you suffer an incident there and then. But what of the gradual wear and tear of our cars on our daily journeys across this scabrous terrain of endless bottomless chasms? These surely are both insurmountable and incalculable, and what’s more, impossible to prove. I quizzed a local mechanic.

Coils, springs and other such technical bits and bobs are forever being replaced at his garage, he informed me, and was undoubtedly convinced it was due to the constant driving through potholes. He extended it to suggest driving in France wouldn’t cause these problems; whoa, controversial!

Now, I’m sorry for my rude alteration of the councillor’s name, if you noted it, and if I could take it back I would, but I’ve said it now and it’s out there; just a typo really. I’m aware Tories can be touchy when pointing out their incompetence and hypocrisy, and often act like a told-off toddler, but name-calling is simply not cricket. I’m aware it’s a tricky issue and perpetual, but you did sign up for the job, so, no temper tantrums, let’s be logical here; the app is a get out clause for the council, if it’s not reported there it’s as mythical as unicorns.

For I made the gag out of frustration, not so much for the crumbs of pasty I lose while driving the milk float over these bumps, for I’m not so petty to calculate and invoice the council for a six pack of Ginsters, but for the pothole so deep it shattered my window, covering me in shards and leaving me in need of a change of underwear, for the repair of my car’s wheel balance, tyres, for the fact that although I drove over the window-shattering pothole carefully for the next month or so, and it was finally repaired, to note the other six or seven potholes surrounding that one wasn’t, and they’ve equalled it now in deepness. It’s a never-ending problem, I accept this, but for crying out loud, be the hero who finds a doable solution, and I can eat my words rather than have to mince them.

I’m aware we’ve bricked ourselves into this asylum the lunatics have taken over and that’s democracy, but if they’ve found a workable solution on the continent, are we too proud to pinch their strategies? Opps, grey area, fetch my blue pissport and I’ll shut the door behind me.

No good waffling figures to me about how much the council have spent on infrastructure, while I gaze at the new digital road sign in Worton, which flashes up the driver’s speed with a happy or sad face emoji, when one car I witnessed this week clocked 72mph and didn’t fuss to slow past the school gates through that 30mph zone. And, pray tell, how much did it cost to install it, compared to the revenue it’ll provide? It’s not how much you’ve got but what you do with it.

While it may well slow the considerate fella who’s accidentally slipped into 33mph, no emoji is going to cause these thoughtless potential murderers to take caution, but a copper with a speed camera offering a huge fine and lifetime driving ban might. That’d raise some pennies for tarmac, and reduce traffic as well as encouraging lorries to use the motorway and not shortcut through towns and villages; blimey I’m full of radical notions this morning; give the man a Twix.

But failing any of them, councillor, take a pay cut, live like the rest of us sufferers, avoid expensive luncheons, buy bargain custard creams for county hall’s biscuit barrel, or pick up a shovel, get your Fairy-Liquid-kind hands dirty for once in your sad little life and fill the potholes in yourself! Or do they keep potholes as it’s symbolic of where this country is heading?

Who can say for certain?

I can, “for certain,” there you go, job a good ‘un, shame the same can’t be said for Wiltshire Council’s road policy!

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Shut the Front Door and Catch a Bus Month with Wiltshire Council!

The lunacy, much less the audacity to suggest it, of Wiltshire Concillors, and their inability to accept reality, is highlighted in September by the singlemost insane campaign to-date; Catch a Bus Month.

“A double-decker bus can take up to 75 cars off the road and switching just one journey in 25 to the bus would save two million tonnes of CO2 emissions,” the article on their website begins, because everyone in Wiltshire has been waiting for them to tell them this.

Assuming it’s us neglecting environmental concerns as the reason we don’t take the bus, as opposed to the utterly appalling and unaffordable service available to us, in their infinite wisdom they’ve invented “Catch the Bus Month,” where “Wiltshire Council is taking part to encourage more people to change their travel habits by taking the bus and celebrate it as a sustainable, inclusive and accessible form of transport.” Seriously promoting this hairbrained scheme on social media seemingly without the foggiest notion of the backlash of criticism anyone with a working brain cell would’ve forseen.

A flourish of negative responses errupted, some stating how their village bus service was cut, others complaining it’s simply not affordable or accessible. Others telling stories of being thrown off buses before their stop to make way for other passengers, being rudely addressed by drivers and their issues not being dealt with by the bus companies.

Personally I’ve found bus drivers of extremities, they’re either exceptionally happy and willing to please, or grumpy as sin; there is no middle-ground. One once sped off before I could get my daughter seated, and her pushchair collapsed in time, a toddler at the time, resulting in her hitting her head. My complaint fell on deaf ears. Now they’re at senior school the bus fee would be over a thousand pounds each, annually; a journey I can drive for far less. And that is the unfortunate reality.

Everyone knows if you’re relying on the local bus service you’re best taking a tent, and for shift workers the bus simply wouldn’t get them to work on time, even if they were reliable to turn up. Forgo reliability for a second and consider the timetable, imagine a night bus, but keep your disillusionment, most stop running by 5pm at the latest; everybody, tea and time for bed.

“The Department or Transport’s (DfT) National Bus Strategy requires local authorities to form enhanced legal partnerships with bus operator,” it says, “and the council is working on a Bus Service Improvement Plan (BSIP) to achieve a vision for a better bus network.”

Cllr Laura Mayes, Deputy Leader of Wiltshire Council, said: “We’re delighted to be working in partnership with the bus companies with a combined aim of increasing usage and improving the service across Wiltshire.”

Here’s a thought, and it is just a thought, then, not that I’m the expert, but how about Wiltshire Council actually improve the service first, then have this “celebratory” Catch the Bus Month when it’s done and it’s actually reasonable and affordable to catch the damn things?! Unless, of course, you’re collecting laughing emojis on your social media posts… I know I am, but that’s intentional.

Catch the bus month, oh, my years. It’s Wiltshire Council who need to take a bus journey, to another county, and see how much better they’re doing!

Waxin’ the Palace; Chatting to the Man Who Convinced Wiltshire Council to Have a Rave!

All the local mainstream are on it like a fly on a turd, and the negativity of keyboard warriors is flowing fast and furious. Who am I to steer off the bandwagon, yet you know we’ll handle the news Wax Palace obtained permission for a “rave festival” to happen near Erlestoke with a slightly different angle……

An angle much less based upon the fact your esteemed editor had a youth some indeterminable time yonder, where he gyrated in muddy fields with eyes like saucers, masticating the shit out of a Wrigley’s Doublemint, and more on the notion, I hope, that while we have a great music scene in these backwaters, there is little to tickle our younger resident’s tastebuds. This then, is great news, surely?

But is raving still a progressive thing, or does it dabble largely in retrospection? And what exactly will this Wax Palace provide in the way of entertainment? Harry, one of the organisers, a man who unbelievably convinced Wiltshire Council, conservative at the best of times, to grant them permission to hold what’s best described, to avoid media confusion, as a “rave festival;” can he sell ice to Eskimos, or what?! In a short chat with him, I suspected he could.

He giggled at the question, “we’d do our best, that’s for sure! It’s been a bit of a task, but we got it through, and they seemed very with it, during the hearing.” Throughout Harry projected himself as level-headed, reliably assured of the achievement of Kaleidoscope, the name of the event.

The first myth from the Gazette’s report to dispel is that these guys are bundling down from Yorkshire to ruin our peaceful community, when Harry explained the company is only registered there, and he lives close to Erlestoke himself. “The group who first run it were students in Leeds,” he explained, “but we’re very much Wiltshire born and bred.” Herewith the reason for bringing it to Devizes.

Promoting this today is neither here nor there, they’ve a solid base and early bird tickets have already sold out for the estimated 800 strong event. “This is our third edition of the festival,” he said with me interrupting about how to define it, “it is very much a festival, but we hope it has the apogee of a rave, though licenced, as the articles have focused on. It started as one night event, next time it was two, now we’ve got the full weekend, and our largest line-up yet.”

To spoil my queries of disambiguation, musically, Kaleidoscope will offer the whole range of rave subgenres, from house and disco to techno to drum & bass; “you name it will be there!” But this only got me pondering the setup, if it would, as legendary pay-raves like Universe’s Tribal Gatherings once attempted, to host each subgenre in a different tent. Because much as this appeased the then evolution of the diversity, it tended to clash into one immense noise when central! “We don’t have genre-split tents,” Harry clarified, “they’re split more-so by their set design. We’ve got three stages, one indoors, another outdoor, in which we’re shaping out an old school bus for the DJ’s, which should be really fun.”

Harry jested jealously at me rapping about raves of yore like Universe, “we missed that golden era, but we very much like to be inspired by the ethos.” This is great, though I’m trying to avoid an Uncle Albert moment where I preach on memory lane, but it does bring to question how niche is the market, does Harry think rave is either coming back, or it never really lost its appeal?

“I think it is coming back, commercially, perhaps it did lose a bit of what it was meant to be. In the last few years, I’ve heard people referring to their club nights as raves. I think the term rave now covers something broader and less political than it did, originally.” Harry hopes it does come back, encouraged to bring back those original values.

Though I’d suggest, rave was apolitical, it wasn’t until government interjected with the Justice Bill post-Castlemorton which both forced it underground and for ravers to think politically. Originally it was solely a celebration of life, and to party, and that really was our only objective. Which neatly covers another misconception; we raved everywhere and anywhere, if it meant standing in a muddy field, or if it meant going clubbing, location was irrelevant, so long as we could blow off steam and dance!

And herein lies my pitch at why I think this is a fantastic addition to our local events, because if you’re the first to complain about this, I sure hope you’re not the same one whinging about acts of anti-social behaviour in youth culture. If Wax Palace can provide a safe haven for young to go and enjoy themselves, it’s surely a positive.

Wiltshire Council were keen to label this a festival rather than a rave, as rave connotes to some to be an illegal, uncontrolled gathering. I say, this is the name of the genre, and doesn’t relate to illegal gatherings at all. After the Justice Bill the scene became anarchistic in frustration to the restrictions, but it never began like this. There was a sense of one big family, a tribal movement, and it was all about smiles. This, I feel is an important point to reduce this common misconception, and something Harry was also keen to express. “We’ve worked really hard to build a real sense of community,” he explained.

Today, of course, the original ravers have come of age, and organisations like Raver Tots have marketed retrospection in the form of taking your kids to a rave, but throughout our chat I got the feeling the ethos of Wax Palace was much more progressive, about introducing “rave; the next generation,” and that’s good to hear. “We like the idea through the way we organise events and our approach will introduce the idea of raving to a market who are only just coming to an age where they’re able to go to clubs. So, it’s nice to think we have the chance in shaping that impression they have. For a lot of people, this could be their first music festival, and for it to be local and described as a rave would be really exciting; exactly what I’d wish I’d have had in my village when I was 18.”

Tickets are here, Kaleidoscope takes place from 2nd-5th September.

Avoid negativity of misconceptions bought about by a bygone era, well organised and safe pay raves have happened since day dot, and providing youth with entertainment is paramount to building bridges; Wax Place, I salute you!

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Citizen’s Advice’s Plea for Funding From Local Councils as Wiltshire Council Slash Their Budget

Do you take Citizen’s Advice for granted? For many it’s a lifeline, the first port of call for any issues rising from legal, debt, consumer, and housing, yet Wiltshire Council has slashed £100k off its funding, about one-third of their budget. Makes you wonder why they ever dropped their slogan, “where everybody matters,” really, doesn’t it?!

The independent organisation has been rallying local town and parish councils for support. A spokesman from Citizen’s Advice was heard at the Devizes Town Council Committee Meeting on Tuesday 16th August, to plea for financial help.

The trade publication Third Sector states around 60% of Citizens Advice funding comes from government sources, but Citron contends there’s tension between Citizens Advice and the government, because while the charity relies on government funding to survive, it’s most effective as a high-profile critic of government policy. As if the government has any policies worthy of criticism! But cuts like these forces the bureau to seek much more funding from other sources. Locally, they’re approaching major towns and parishes for support.

As well as rising prices, Devizes Town Council explained the spokesperson was keen to point out this was “unfortunate in timing as they anticipated a rash of applications for help when the next raise in energy caps occurs, as well as coping with the other challenges of inflation.”

Councillor Ian Hopkins rightfully criticised the savagery of the cut and the timing, suggesting the town council “were not the authority to whom they should be appealing but, in suggestion a more rational approach, suggested an application in the autumn, prior to budget setting.”

Our local branch is situated in New Park Street, yet serves a wider community across villages and other local towns, so, Councillor Burton’s enquiry if funds would be spent on supporting Devizes people only could not be reassured by the spokesperson. She did however confirm they had received some responses offering various sums.

Councillor Hunter asked whether any other of their services could be redirected back to Wiltshire Council or other agencies. The representative confirmed that Age UK has been supportive but CAB remains the first port of call during which they hope to empower clients to follow up themselves, leaving it unlikely that Wiltshire Council would be impacted.

There was a surge amidst Devizes Town Council of favouring grants which would be kept for local use, but the councillor Hopkins suggested that £1,500 should be given, pending a more formal application for better funds, a proposal that was carried unanimously.

So, well done DTC, you’re officially in my good books (were you ever not, you need ask?!) No, really, I’ve applied some Lynx Africa and I’m coming in for a group hug, asap! Citizens Advise is a sustenance for so many, providing free advice and help is essential even more in this day and age, yet it’s a sad reality of a failing government when Citizen’s Advise needs its own advice on how to fund itself.

Trending….

Chatting With Burn The Midnight Oil

It’s nice to hear when our features attract attention. Salisbury’s Radio Odstock  picked up on our interview with Devizes band Burn the Midnight Oil and…

The Lost Trades Float on New Single

I’ve got some gorgeous vocal harmonies currently floating into my ears, as The Lost Trades release their first single since the replacement of Tamsin Quin…

Weird, I Find Myself Agreeing With Danny Kruger Over Station Road Carpark Closure!

It’s quite alright, you’ve not entered the Upside Down from Stranger Things, or another theoretical parallel universe. Station Road carpark in Devizes will be closed overnight to cars, effective immediately. MP for Devizes Danny Kruger pushed for this Wiltshire Council order, and in hindsight, I happen to agree with them and wished it had come proir to the terrible incident which spurred the notion….

Wiltshire Council has today (11th August) obtained a Closure Order for the carpark to help prevent anti-social behaviour in the area. It will mean the car park is closed between 6pm and 6am every day for a period of three months, for anyone other than season ticket holders, buses, lorries and coaches.

Cllr Richard Clewer, Leader of Wiltshire Council, said “This will be enforceable by the police, who will be regularly patrolling the area to ensure that people are abiding by the Closure Order.” And yes, that’s the same police force recently put into special measures, red in all areas. One cannot help but think about the word “proactive” here, and perhaps regular monitoring of the carpark should’ve been a priority before said terrible incident.

Sadly, if it has to be, and does what they suggest it will do, “help prevent anti-social behaviour” in the area, then I agree. Yet I cannot help but feel they’re putting a plaster on a severed limb, and this will only push activities elsewhere. Proactive policing, engaging with youth, providing facilities they want, and building trust with them is a better way to deal with the situation than bricking them in.

And no one shrugs at the hypocrisy, where an MP takes a stand on youth crime yet backed a criminal Prime Minister. So you may’ve raked back a few popularity points with the constituency after using your political position to voice your relgious beliefs on abortion, Danny K, but to be honest it doesn’t amount to a hill of beans, really, now does it?!

Sad Day for Melksham Assembly Hall

The stalwart venue of Melksham is being viewed more like just a wart by town councillors, in a sad day which could see the closing curtain for the Assembly Hall.

Melksham News reported on the rumour I’ve been trying to hold back on, hoping the day wouldn’t come, that Melksham Assembly Hall and the Town Hall could be sold off under controversial plans being considered by Melksham Town Council.

More than once, Conservative Councillor Phil Alford contradicts himself in conversation with Melksham News, in the very same sentences!

Here he defends his case by telling the newspaper, “the Assembly Hall needs £400K for refurbishment,” but adds “we should build a new facility.” Is it just me being thick, I mean I’m no building contractor, but wouldn’t building a new facility cost more than repairing the one you’ve got?!

And does it even need this colossal cost for a refurb at all? It looks fine to me as it is, lick of paint, job done. Face it, Melksham, other than a handful of excellent local pubs, like the Pilot and Foresters supplying the town with live music, you’ve hardly any few entertainment venues as it is.

The Assembly Hall is a pillar to the community, with a brilliant programme and variety of events to suit everyone. From top class tribute acts, massive fundraising events such as the legendary Female of the Species gigs, which had to be shifted to Seend, to regular clubs such as the twenty-five year strong Rock n Roll Club drawing crowds from across the country, and even the popular male stripper nights. Perhaps it’s the latter offending Mr Alford; feeling somewhat inferior?!

Has the smokescreen got in your eyes yet? The new campus project has seen closure of the library and historic Blue Pool too; how many eggs does this Councillor want to put in the same basket, I sigh. “We now have a once-in-a-lifetime chance to do something about it,” he continues his pitch, why is it “a once-in-a-lifetime chance?” is there no chance of a backhander in the future?

He said this, He. Actually. Said. This. “Now is the time to be creative, trust residents, decide on a plan and move forward for the benefit of the town,” regardless of the simple fact, next Tuesday’s meeting to decide upon the fate of the hall has the proposal it should be held as a closed session, preventing the press and public from attending. If that’s the best method of involving public opinion then I’m the Queen of Sheba.

It’s begger’s belief how closing a venue would “benefit” a town, but the cavalry comes in the form of independent councillor Jon Hubbard, who told Melksham News, “we don’t know the details of the options yet, but the Assembly Hall is a massive asset to the town.

“It’s one of the largest halls in Wiltshire, there is nothing else that can compete with it in terms of capacity and I think we would be quite mad to even contemplate getting rid of that without replacing it with an equivalent facility.

“All of the plans I have seen have been talking about significantly smaller facilities and Melksham already has a wealth of smaller halls and I see no reason why the town council should invest taxpayers’ money into facilities which will compete with existing assets that the town has.”

Well said Jon, it goes in line with the original rumour circulating, that some councillors wanted the hall to be only for events which they feel benefitted the community, in which case they’re in the wrong job and should be an events coordinator rather than a councillor. The Assembly Hall is the brilliant venue hosting self-propelled events I wish we had here in Devizes. The running at a loss argument is piffle in a peroid of economic decline, they all are unfortunately. Especially when said peroid is a direct result of appalling national decisions of the political party Mr Alford himself supports.

The irony is blinding, but folk have hijacked the Facebook post to express their disappointment and point out the significance of the Assembly Hall. One said, “The Town Hall is the very fibre of this town’s history. Its location at the heart of Market Place is the embodiment of the pride we have for our town. To sell the building for private ownership is beyond conscionable.”

Another said, “The town hall is the focal point for nearly all the town events. Selling it off is 100% short sighted. People travel for miles to see melksham Xmas lights and other events, if the town hall goes we would lose those or they would move to melksham house which doesn’t have the same focus in the town.”

The post is here, you can comment, but I’d advise to take your opinion to Mr Alford himself, his email is: Phil.Alford@wiltshire.gov.uk

Swings and Roundabouts; Hope for Dilapidated Playgrounds in the Devizes Area?

A lengthy but worthwhile report on the state of our playparks and those intending to do something about it….

August 3rd 2019, and I’d had enough of marching to parish council meetings, emailing Wiltshire Council and talking to brick walls, unsure if I did the latter, but it certainly felt like it. So, I published my rant about a village playpark left to dilapidation for well over three years.

Both swings had been taken down, and a dangerously sharp metal baseplate is all that remains of a broken bouncy chicken, the want of repairing these, what’s essentially half the play equipment in the community playpark, has been lost in a tangle of red tape. Wiltshire Council own the site, and in their so-called “transfer of assets,” which roughly translates to passing the buck to local busy-bodies, Rowde Parish Council asked they repair the broken equipment beforehand, and because of the delay the playpark was conveniently brushed under the carpet.

February last year I bugged Councillor Laura Mayes with it, who claimed to have secured over £20,000 funding from Wiltshire Council to re-design the playground, despite all I wanted was them to fix the existing equipment, and she ran with it as a major pledge for her election campaign.

Am I here to bring you a fairy-tale ending? Only on paper.

It sprinkled optimism, the children who originally played here have grownup and had children of their own in the time it has taken Wiltshire Council to fix a swing and replace a bouncy chicken, and they’ve STILL not done it; you hold out hope they’ll build you a whole new railway station?!

I’m told the transfer of assets is just weeks away, but after six years of waiting, ranting and election pledges as broken as the bouncy chicken, I’ll believe it when I see it.

All about priorities, isn’t it? Swings and bouncy chickens aren’t going to get Mr Kruger to Westminster any faster. Playparks hold no interest to me personally either, councillors; my children long grown out of them, but maybe there’s something wrong with me, the part that gives a hoot.

The part which recalls the joy my children once had, the joy I once had, playing in the park, that most other adults seem to have so easily forgotten; particularly those who seem to consider those little people are not of voting age. Aside, playparks provide essential wellbeing and psychical education for our youngest, they learn social interaction there, dexterity and balance.

My brother and I on a 1970s style health & safety inspected slide!!

They need prioritising, particularly if you enjoy a Facebook rant on how teenagers are terrorising your neighbourhood. Tenaciously they’re linked; literally swings and roundabouts, I’ve heard some residents in Devizes want their community parks to be closed as they attract rowdy teenagers. There’s anti-social behaviour because nothing is provided for them to do, and by cutting off activities for the youngest you believe will solve it for the next generation? Why not cut off your nose in spite your face too?!

Not all Doom and Gloom

Devizes Lions supported this new playground at All Cannings School last year

Enraged residents taken to local Facebook groups is a near everyday scenario, last one I saw was the fence and climbing equipment behind the old barracks had been removed, but as usual such threads only produce a barrage of speculation, whereas at the beginning of the month, Councillor Jonathan Hunter was encouraged by my grievance on the issue, and set up a report to investigate the state of all playparks in Devizes. These minutes are published, but as with most Council meetings, who really trudges through billions of insignificant applications for an extension to a greenhouse or a churchyard which needs its weathercock cleaning?!

So, here’s the results of Devizes Town Council findings, you need to tell me if they’re accurate, because I get confused with so many playparks which one is which. Hearsay tells me Dowse Road is in desperate need of repair, Wadworth and Spitalcroft Roads are still chained up, and one on Festival close is closed too.

We all should note with importance, again it’s this transfer of issues argument, where the Town Council have taken responsibility for a number of playgrounds and the report explains, “at the time of the transfer, many of the areas were closed due to maintenance issues and the Open Spaces team have been gradually working their way through the list of closures to reopen them where they can. The sites that have not been opened have more serious safety concerns and need a decision by this committee how to proceed.” So, should you choose to go through the proper channels rather than whine-hole on Facebook, this is the reasoning you’ll likely get, if any.

Okay here we go, just give me second to correct the councillor’s basic grammar and don’t forget to call them out to me, if they’re tugging their own tugboats!

The report flagged three playgrounds in need of major attention. Wadworth Road, they say is currently closed because during the last inspection much of the equipment was flagged as unsafe. Part of the issue with the equipment on this site is its wooden construction as there is some rot. However, to undertake core test sampling with reports is about £250 per sample and each piece of equipment will need to have several tests and there is a high probability it will fail; therefore, in officers’ opinion, given the costs to simply test for something that is likely to fail, officers suggest that there is some local consultation with residents as this is another site where young people gather and have been involved with anti-social behaviour.

Festival Close was closed when it was taken over from Wiltshire Council as it has failed safety inspection as a result of shrinking safety surface. The cost of replacement is £11,269. However, a number of residents are not in favour of the playground being reinstated and therefore the site may benefit from some local consultation.

One of three on Massey Road was closed when Devizes Town Council took on the site, with all of the wooden equipment beyond cost of effective repair. Given the proximity of this play area to the two others on the estate, officers decided to remove the equipment and return the area to a green space, which was welcomed by the residents.

The others are apparently open, some with advisories.

Alan Cobham Road:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. There is some shrinkage of the play safety surface, but at this time no action is needed.

Avon Road: Recreational Field Avon Road

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. Some equipment has been replaced over the last few years and there are no outstanding issues.

Bellvedere Road:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. There are no outstanding issues.

Brickley Lane:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. Last year some of the safety surface was replaced with a loose rubber crumb. It was the first time the Council had trialled these systems and officers are not fully convinced it would work on all our sites where a safety surface is required.

In recent months the issue of dogs being exercised in the area has come to the fore as owners are not clearing up. Signs have been put up a couple of times, telling owners not to bring their dog into the recreation area and therefore tensions are running high from both sides, with dog owners who say they have used the area for years without incident and parents of children complaining they can no longer let their children use the area.

Editor note: Hi me here, just to point out, this is down to community and moral obligation, rather than council responsibility, like having a conscience and not allowing your dog to shit where children are playing; basic manners and stuff like that!  

Byron Rd:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. There are no outstanding issues.

Cowslip Close Cowslip Close:

This play area is open and is currently in a serviceable condition but offers poor play value with just two pieces of equipment. The play area was closed for a while and during this period officers did not receive any complaints.

This site may benefit from local consultation on its future, with local residents. An estimated cost of a small play area is £60,000.

Dowse Road Wadworth Road:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. The safety surfacing is at the end of its life and does need to be replaced this year. The cost of this is £13,675.

Dundas Close:

This barely a play area as it consists of a single metal hoop. The area provides little in the way of play value and there is a good quality Aster owned play area. There was an approach a few years ago to turn the area into a community garden, but the project was never taken forward.

Fruitfields:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. There are no outstanding issues.

Hillworth Park:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. There is one piece of fitness equipment that failed last year and this is due to be replaced in the summer.

Massey Road 2:

This play area is open and is currently in a serviceable condition but offers limited play value with just two pieces of equipment.

Massey Road 3:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. There are no outstanding issues.

Newman Road:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. There are no outstanding issues.

Osmund Road:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. There are no outstanding issues.

Palmer Road:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. There are no outstanding maintenance issues but over the last year the site has been a centre of young people to gather in the evening, resulting in anti-social behaviour.

Palmer Road2:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. There are no outstanding issues.

Quakers Walk1:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. There are no outstanding issues.

Quakers Walk2:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. There are no outstanding issues.

Skate Park Green Lane:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. There are no outstanding issues.

The Small Green:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. In the not-too-distant future, the safety surfacing will need to be replaced as it is starting to break up, no price has yet been obtained for this work.

White Horse Way:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. There are no outstanding issues.

So, there you have it, maybe you know different. The Council goes on to say, the budget for playgrounds has been doubled to £40,000, but it will only cover ongoing repair cost and improvements rather than finance of new play areas.

Encourage your kids to look after what they’ve got. It only partially falls on the council, another major part is to be played by the residents too, to respect others. If you’re dog owners have some respect for parents, if you’re teenagers hanging out in the park, I know what’s it’s like, I’ve been there too; but try to remember what it was like when you were little, how much you enjoyed the playparks. Should you now prefer the odd spliff there after dark, all’s fair in love and war; but respect the area for the little ones too, by not creating a ruckus and drawing attention to yourselves by net curtain twitchers. Everyone, in my opinion, needs to allow some give and take; kids will be kids, and we were all one originally!

Trending…..

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Time to Squash Your Wheelie Bin Down!

If 2020 was the year your wheelie bin went out more than you; times are a changin’……

Early in January Wiltshire Council’s proposed budget for this financial year was published, explaining how they’d bridge a budget deficit of over £27m, but ensured residents “business and communities still get access to vital and high-quality services.” Chew on that while you stand in your recycling bin crushing down the contents for a further two weeks longer than the anticipated GMB Union strike.

WC announced today that due to further industrial action they’ve decided to extend the suspension of recycling collection until April 4th. Seek an alternative method to deal with your recycling, and be warned, you are responsible and liable for any mishap which may occur, from a dodgy fly-tipper to if the wheelie bin cascades down your steps with you in it!

Take to social media and ask if you’ll get a council tax rebate for free laughing emojis; welcome to broken Brexit Britain; hyperinflation, fuel and food shortages, inadequate services, pressured health system to the point of breaking, complete disregard for environmental processes we need to pursue. No, you’ll get a hiked-up council tax rise to pop atop your mounting exorbitant household bills and think yourself lucky you’re not fleeing a war-torn country.

I’ve been waiting seven years for them to fix a broken swing in a playpark, still no sign other than a fibbed election pledge, recycling for a few weeks is just a tiny factor to a bigger picture of total egocentricity in the powers that be.

Wiltshire Council condemned the actions of the GMB union at its depots. Leader of Wiltshire Council Councillor Richard Clewer said “we completely respect people’s right to strike,” but went onto say “these actions are leading to an even more adverse impact on our waste collection services and further disruption for our residents.” You’ve got to ask yourself, is there a point to strike action which doesn’t cause disruption, and how effective would that be?!

Isn’t this the same train of thought which said you can protest, but if we hear you protest and we don’t like it, it’s banned?

Clewer waffles the picket lines were unsafe, the leader of Wiltshire Council’s Labour group Ricky Rogers retorted its political spin. Jolly Rogers suggests “Cllr Clewer should put more effort into getting this dispute settled by asking that the years of annual contract inflation extra public money given to Hill’s is shared with their staff, or better still bring this contract back into public control.” Good on you, hopefully you’ve got the Tories bleating like Bianca from EastEnders; “Riiii-ckaaay!!!”

Does “build back better” mean we start in the 1970s and recede to the Victorian era fron there?

And so it goes, to-and-fro around a county hall, looking good on paper. Another fine example of the benefits of conservative privatisation; mega-profits for the wealthiest, stuff the peasants. Note the Hills family have made no public statement. Perhaps it’s time someone nipped over to Cert Octivan, pulled up some of that private tax-free liquid asset, and share out the gold and silver evenly. Then we can all get along and look forward to the Festival of Brexit without worrying what decade the next recycling collection will be in…. I’ve got a Nigel Farage to dump, can I put it my black bin or would he be offended?

Trending….

DOCA’s Young Urban Digitals

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Deadlight Dance New Single: Gloss

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Things to Do During Halloween Half Term

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Devizes Town Council Seek Road Improvement Plans from County Hall

It’s the satirist in me which smirks at the audacity of placing a right-sided “road narrows” roadwork sign on the last bend before Potterne, up Whistley Road. In all actual fact, the road widens at this point, rather it’s potholes the size of moon craters, on both sides of the road, which cause it to be an ineffectual passing place, unless you own one of those American monster trucks, and if you do, navigating the B-road in question wouldn’t be advisable.

In fairness, for your car’s protection, gradually sinking traffic cones have been strategically placed in the singularities (that’s what physicists call the centre of a black hole, by the way; a point where extremely large amounts of matter are crushed into an infinitely small amount of space, such as your alloys and bumper.)

Secondary fairness, the dilapidation of tarmac is as never-ending as washing dishes, and extreme weather conditions are like your kids, bringing dirty crockeries to the kitchen when you thought you’d just finished. Washing up is a perpetual task, but if you don’t persevere it accumulates, to the point you’re eating breakfast from the dog bowl; see where I’m going with this, Wiltshire Council?

The problem remains, Whistley Road is not the exception to the rule, rather the standard these days in our country lanes’ decrepitude; take a journey up The Kings Road in Easterton, hardly fit for a king at all, and a wonder why on earth it needs speed bumps when natural depressions in the road bigger than the actual village itself, you’d like to think, should prevent anyone in their right mind from speeding.

One would like to imagine accelerating over fifteen miles an hour might yet be a very real possibility once you’ve boarded our main roads, only to find their condition is hardly better. Yet, at Tuesday’s Devizes Town Council Meeting, Councillor Jonathan Hunter pointed to his understanding that for the financial year 2021-22 Wiltshire Council was awarded 22,924,000 smackers from the Government’s Highway Maintenance Fund to pay for a range of highway improvements, begging the question why our local roads still make the Giant’s Causeway look like an autobahn.

Brickley Lane

Johnathan, the kind of Conservative which makes you realise not all of them would piggyback their crippled grandmothers to reach a bottle of Bollinger from a top shelf, put forward a proposal to inquire how the money has been spent. Putting to DTC, “it would be helpful to understand how this funding has supported highways improvements in the county; if any substantive project in the last twelve months have been undertaken in Devizes, and if this government funding was used to deliver them.”

“Furthermore,” he added, because councillors tend to go on a bit, “Devizes Town Council seeks visibility regarding the plan for this year’s road improvement programme within the Devizes area, and what are the local priorities.” And it would seem the Council agreed.

Cromwell Road

“With the poor state of the local road network,” Jonathan told Devizine, excited by his proposal being met, “including many sections of surface degradation and dangerous potholes, it is encouraging that this proposal was fully agreed by Town Council members.”

“For reasons of road user safety, travel inconvenience and the cost of vehicle maintenance it is important that local road users and pedestrians should be able to receive a full progress update on the current roads programme and importantly receive clear visibility about tax payer funded plans for the local road network that serves Devizes.”

“Currently, to find out anything about road repair plans, you have to don some deep-sea-diving apparel and search in the very deep and murky waters of the online kingdom, even Jacques Cousteau would find that a challenge!”

Very well, Johnathan, well done, but we do the funny bits if you don’t mind! But it would be good to know, in this era whereby you can triple the value of your car simply by filling it up with petrol, that you’re not going to forsake your tyres on the next bend, unless you’re a Kwik-Fit manager.

We look forward to the possibility of seeing the plans by Wiltshire Council; roads don’t fix themselves and no one said it was going to be easy, but you choose the bloomin’ job! For everyone on Facebook, you can join in the fun at the Devizes Pot Hole Spotter’s Club, here!

Trending…..

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Does Wiltshire Council’s Climate Strategy Lack Ambition and Commitment?

A month after Wiltshire Council’s Climate Strategy was criticised by the Wiltshire Climate Alliance for lacking “ambition and commitment to achieving its goal of seeking to make Wiltshire carbon neutral by 2030,” I’m horrified, yet not surprised to see social media pages still maintaining climate change is a hoax, when I thought all was pretty much conclusive, and a majority, aside political opinion, accepted that climate change is real, and is happening.

I was checking out a Facebook page called “Climate Change is a Hoax,” because, for the same reason I occasionally click on the fascist GB News site, I enjoy deliberately annoying myself with the stupidity of far-right illogic! With a laughable forty-one “likes,” it hardly carries much clout, neither many of its shared articles remained live after factchecking algorithms stripped them bare. But one YouTube video by Canadian conspiracy theorists, The Climate Discussion Nexus does give sensible argument against climate change, just when I tarnished them with the same brush as flat-earth theorists.

The content of the video portrays Michael Mann akin to a narcissistic nerdy schoolkid, who assumes his homework is superior to everyone else’s, simply because he did it, and claims other researcher’s papers have been poo-pooed by the IPCC in favour for Mann’s. While I shrug, the United Nations owns the IPCC, and is an intergovernmental body, it’s not completely impossible climate change has been exaggerated for this supposed purpose of “controlling the masses,” or for any other bizarre reasoning they invent, I have to question, what if they are wrong? Furthermore, quotes from the “about” section of the Facebook page such as “don’t let the globalists and socialists destroy our lives,” is so chockful of falsehoods and propaganda I don’t know where to begin. Least not when the majority of the world today seems to politically side on the right, who commonly seem to debunk climate change, and so-called globalists and socialists are not in power anyway. Hence the reason the world spins on its axis and nothing much appears to get done to tackle the issue.

Come in, let’s squabble, oh, apologies, just step over that cataclysmic natural disaster someone left out asking to be tripped over, there’s a good fellow.

So, what if either side of the argument is wrong? If those who believe in climate change are wrong, we’ve been duped and possibly even burdened by a bunch of passive reformist lefties, which sounds far better than previous historic oppressing by purists and conservative philosophies, which always seems to result in bloodthirsty wars. So, we dust ourselves off, mix plastics with household waste again, break out our diesel Chelsea tractors and drive to the abattoir for steak pie.

However, if those who believe climate change is a hoax are wrong, we’ve either caused the extinction of all life on earth, including ourselves, or least ignored the chance to slow or prevent it from happening. Seriously, you have to ask yourself which possible outcome you’d prefer. Personally, I’m thinking being oppressed by lefties, which equates to eating lentils and maybe listening to Buffalo Springfield, then allowing everyone to die in catastrophic disasters, is the better option of the two, but hey, that’s just me.

Therefore, it goes without saying, on a local level, I’m keen to hear what climate change specialists think of our county council’s climate strategy, being they’ve a majority conservative seating, and by my reckoning, seems while not every conservative is a climate change denier, all climate change deniers seem to have a conservative ethos. Suspicious some lurk in Bythesea Road, I asked the Wiltshire Climate Alliance, who formed from a meeting of over twenty interest groups from across Wiltshire a year after the moment Wiltshire Council acknowledged that there was a climate emergency and set themselves a target to make Wiltshire carbon neutral by 2030. Which was in 2019, even though a seminal paper by Swedish scientist, Svante Arrhenius first predicted changes in atmospheric carbon dioxide levels, and noted they could substantially alter the surface temperature through the greenhouse effect, in 1896, you know, these things take time.

Wiltshire Climate Alliance (WCA) welcomes the fact that Wiltshire Council is developing a Climate Strategy but laments its lack of ambition and commitment to achieving its goal of seeking to make Wiltshire carbon neutral by 2030. Bill Jarvis of WCA’s Steering Group described it as, “recognising that major changes are needed but lacking any commitment or timescale for reducing emissions outside of the Council’s own operations,” adding that “there is little sense of the urgency needed for taking action, and a dependency on future plans and policies that may take us in the opposite direction.”

And there was me thinking they didn’t bother trimming the hedgerows of the A361 because of “reforestation,” our minute contribution to a worldwide area the size of China which needs to be restored to forest before it having much effect. The WCA continue, about the IPCC Sixth Assessment Report, predicting the world is likely to exceed 2C between the early 2040s and 50s, and while UN Secretary-General António Guterres said, “the alarm bells are deafening, and the evidence is irrefutable,” The WCA extends this locally by saying, “this renewed urgency doesn’t come across in Wiltshire Council’s Strategy, which speaks of ‘exploring’ and ‘investigating’ the kinds of policies and actions that should by now be in place and well underway.”

The Tyndall Centre calculated, in 2019, that “with no change to current emissions Wiltshire would use up all its budget [to 2050] within seven years.” Ergo, I have to agree, if it seems there will be no significant change to policy or action for at least another two years, where is there any sense of urgency? Apply this ludicrous lucidity to a did I leave the kettle on moment, and your house is potentially toast, my friend.

‘Future delivery plans’ are the order of the Council, yet the WCA explain, “stabilising the climate requires rapid, deep and sustained emissions reductions. It is particularly concerning that the Strategy provides no detail of how its objectives will be delivered.”

They worry Wiltshire Council’s decarbonisation objectives will be no more than a ‘wish list’ in the Local Plan, Local Transport Plan and other plans, most of which have completely contrary objectives and will not be in place for at least two years. WCA would like to see the Strategy go further, and recommend a moratorium on implementing climate destructive, high emission plans and policies until such time as detailed carbon reduction delivery plans have been adopted, and it has set out its concerns.

Wiltshire Climate Alliance is keen to continue to support Wiltshire Council and its councillors in taking the urgent action that is now required. “The solutions are clear,” they say, “achievable and a large number are touched on in this document. However, they require political will to make them happen. There is limited need for more evidence gathering, investigations and assessments. But there is an urgent need for more ambition and immediate action in areas in which others are already showing leadership.”

Okay look, I’m no tree hugger, love a bacon butty, and, I’m willing to admit, my presumptions climate change deniers lurk at county hall is a scare story evolved from the content of worldwide keyboard warriors, adamant on spreading myths. But it is exasperating, becoming tiresome, and dreadfully perilous to assume they’ve no influence at any level of politics. Here’s hoping the WCA can urge Wiltshire’s residents and its elected representatives to join in demanding better, as the steering group say, “climate denial must not be replaced by delaying climate action.”

Their website is here, Facebook page here, there’s a petition; Wiltshire Council should make Carbon Reduction a top priority in every Council decision, a Facebook discussion group too, and a demonstration this Tuesday (19th October) at Trowbridge Civic Centre.

Trending….

Oh Danny Boy!

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A Quick Shuffle to Swindon

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Swindon Branch of Your Party is Growing

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No Rest For JP Oldfield, New Single Out Today

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DOCA’s Early Lantern Workshops

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Opinion: Kruger Perpetrates Local Rise of Condemnation for Travellers, Focused in Bromham

In a press release dated 24th September 2020, MP Danny Kruger claimed Boris Johnson had called upon him to report for government calls for a new era of ‘community power.’ This included “proposals to sustain the community spirit we saw during the lockdown.” He christened his paper, “Levelling up our communities,” a vision for “a more local, more human, less bureaucratic, less centralised society in which people are supported and empowered to play an active role in their neighbourhoods.”

As shpil it sounds a-okay, a far cry from a Conservative Party of yore set against the people it’s supposed to serve, a Conservative Party which, on 1st June 1985, ordered police to viciously attack a Peace Convoy, setting up the 1985 Stonehenge Free Festival. History recalls it “The Battle of the Beanfields,” any witness could better perceive it as a politicide massacre. Its aim, to eliminate categories of people who either chose to live their life on the road, happened to stumble across this way of life by unpreventable circumstance, or grew up nurtured in such an environment, for political advantages. As a blanket term we call them travellers.

But that’s all it is, a blanket term, there is no organised grouping anymore than people who own a home are assembled, therefore there is no reason to presume any individual classed as such is part of a joint ethos, a collective philosophy or tenet. Attitudes and opinions of such a grouping differ as vastly as those who live in a house, or a bungalow, or a flat. To note someone who lives in a flat breaking the law, is ludicrous for bungalow dwellers to make a sweeping generalisation that, ergo everyone who lives in a flat is therefore a law-breaker. Yet prejudge typecasting seems to be systematically accepted, ingrained and encouraged when focussed on travellers.  

Hard to define exactly as an ethnic group, as while Romany Gypsies are bound into the stereotype, not all are such, so, calling the racist card is unwarranted, but it is a definite form of prejudice, which aimed at other groupings would be frowned upon. Yet how does Danny Kruger remember the Battle of the Beanfields on its anniversary this week? His office, fronted by, I might add, Rebecca Hudson, the journalist who first broke the news of the Salisbury poisonings and therefore a far more articulate professional than the mere meanderings of a milkman, put out a Facebook post condemning the actions of a traveller site in Bromham. Despite Bromham isn’t his jurisdiction, it is in the division of Wiltshire councillor Laura Mayes, though.

I asked Laura why it’s necessary for Danny Kruger to get involved with, what seems to me, to be a simple planning permission issue. After all, planning permission disputes must be a regular occurrence in the county, and there’s never a need to involve an MP. Laura responded, “the problem is that the planning activity is illegal – there is an Enforcement Notice and an Emergency Stop Notice and the owners have ignored them.”

Danny’s post included the explanation, “deliveries of hardcore were made to the field, breaching the Enforcement Notice. The clear expectation is that an illegal Traveller encampment is being created and an influx of caravans is now expected.” Hardly an “expectation,” rather speculation; a big difference. A speculation driven by the aforementioned ingrained prejudge, is my “expectation.” Fair game by his own criteria?  

In discussion with Gazette & Herald reporter Kirsten Robertson, The Ward family say the delivery of hardcore is to form a bund, an embankment to control the flow of water. Face it, evidence that it’s not a plan to expand the site or allow more travellers onto it. In a heartfelt plea for peace Bridget Ward, 21, told the Gazette, “We just want to live in peace and become part of the community.”

Yet negative, often offensive comments and name-calling slurs flood social media coverage of the simple planning dispute. It doesn’t help bridge the divide when the council “recommends the public stay away from the site.” Neither does it help when an MP lashes out, the post calculatedly shared on only one local Facebook group, known for an absence of admin regulations and therefore being a highly opinionated group.

We should note, they are not residing illegally, the land was bought in 2014, with an article 4 direction on it, which makes it unsuitable for development anyway. Any attempt to improve the site has been refused permission, the adding of fences, planting of trees and creation of an equestrian area. Constant refusal of simple improvement plans, the hostility against them verbally, constitutes the notion they’re simply not wanted there. Where in Wiltshire would they be welcome?

Wiltshire Council own and manage just three residential Gypsy and Traveller sites, with a total capacity to accommodate fifty-one families, who, in contrary to popular belief, are subject to rent charges, Council tax and service charges for site, water and electricity. Across a whole county, it’s a failure compared with Essex, with twelve sites accommodating 188 families, Somerset has eighteen sites, seven sites in Berkshire, the list continues not forgoing Wiltshire Council looks to possibly sell the three sites they do own under part of the recently concluded Regulation 18 consultation to prepare a Gypsy and Traveller Development Plan Document.

While we should respect permissions for planning need to be made, and upheld, little is done to provide a legal alternative for travellers in the county. Coupled with the ramifications of the Police, Crime, Sentencing and Courts Bill which could see travellers facing a fine or prison if they set up unauthorised encampments rather than currently being a civil offence, Danny Kruger’s “levelling up our communities,” constitutes of the eradication of a way of life which has operated for centuries. In fact, pre-Neolithic age, we were all nomadic. Chew on that fat for a moment.

One comment added, “we don’t live in a lawless country,” yet when Danny illegally posted his campaign posters around polling stations, when he ignored lockdown regulations by failing to wear a mask on the train, when he allowed his dog to attack deer on Richmond Common, we brushed them under the carpet, I even defended the latter as an accident.

What about when the High Court said government acted unlawfully by failing to publish details of more than 500 Covid contracts, or abolishing the permit-free training scheme for doctors who qualified outside the United Kingdom or the rest of the European Union without proper consultation, or the case where it departed from the UK’s longstanding policy on opposing the death penalty in all circumstances? Need I continue? Why then, can we not give a little leeway here? Is a delivery of some hardcore to create a bund somehow more damaging to society as the examples given above?

The fact Danny’s offending Facebook post had a grammatical error I’d forgive a primary school pupil to overlook, “and a influx of caravans,” suggests this was not the calculated penning of a skilled journalist, rather a knee-jerk reaction handsome-faced Danny K needs to take a chill pill from before the silver spoon launches from his mouth.

And I say this because, the issue at hand is clearly overexposed by our prejudice, a presuppose striking fear into a family with a young child, for crying out loud, take a look at yourself! I plead you put the political matter aside for just a moment and think outside the box, would you try defend yourself given such hostilities towards you? Is it any different from Afrikaans erecting steel gates and barbed wire to protect their property in apartheid-era Johannesburg? How you can expect travellers not to be slightly anarchic when faced with such exacerbation against them?

Especially in this, quite honestly, trivial instant, far from the given stereotype, where we have a local family simply pleading to blend in and be part of a community. Bridget tells me, “I asked him [Danny Kruger] to stand up for us, against the hate and racism, and to sign the pledge card, but he has just ignored that. We just feel helpless.” This isn’t about hardcore delivery at all, is it?

What do you get out of this Danny, a permit to touch Pritti’s petticoat?! Hardly the “proposals to sustain the community spirit we saw during the lockdown,” is it, mucker?!

Wiltshire’s Most Expensive Laugh; Seedy Out of the PCC Race!

Two opinion pieces from me in as many days; you lucky, lucky people! What I wouldn’t give to have two lofty opinion pieces from Devizine thrown at me once in a while!

As the news circulates that hunting bonkers Conservative PCC candidate for Wiltshire, Johnathan Seed is out of the race, we all can have a belly-laugh, especially Basil Brush. But rules are rules, and at this stage, seems WC will need to hold a second election, rather than the obvious, just pick the second-place candidate and roll with that.

I mean, if a horse falls out of the race, the race continues. You wouldn’t stop the race, pick another horse and rerun it, would you?

Without quoting sources at this delicate time, word on the street is another election will cost a cool million squid; who picks up this bill, the taxpayer?

Hinging on two conflicting allegations as to how this story came to light, one being Seedy declared his drink driving offence and suddenly decided he should pull out because of it, and the second that he was ousted when the offense came to light, one could argue if the latter, he, or the Conservative party should be liable for the bill, whereas the first means the electoral roll should’ve picked this up before running the election. Being Wiltshire Council is Tory run, you can bet your bottom dollar, the dollar is coming out of your pocket. In essence, it’s Wiltshire’s most expensive laugh.

Whatever, this does mean there’s time for the Conservatives to draft in a new candidate, which they can do. One who without even having to campaign, will, by current trends walk the show without the slightest insight or experience of the roll. So, if you thought every cloud has a silver lining, no, not in our Tory haven. But I must stress, that’s speculation.

Boom Boom!

If the race is yet to be won, there’s as much convincing as I can to be done, to sway you to consider voting elsewhere. We’ve interviewed Lib Dem Liz Webster, and we’ve interviewed independent Mike Rees. We ran out of time to chat to Labour’s Junab Ali, for which I apologise, but with this news, and depending on the date of the election, perhaps this is still on the cards, and I welcome Junab to chat with us.

Anyway, tonight will see the news break the local social media sites, where’s there’s a general feeling of relief. Johnathan Seed’s campaign has not been particularly popular. And if that has reflected in the current polls, who knows, we may not have to go through all this again.

Here’s what some people are saying online, which is what the Gazelle & Herod do for a quick article, I know, and if it’s good enough for them it’s good enough for us!

“I’m sorry, but I’m losing no sleep over this one!”

“Apparently they’re going to put up a garden gnome with a blue rosette on it, they’re still convinced it will win.”

“It’s very frustrating, especially as it’s nothing new. He doesn’t seem to have been a popular choice so fingers crossed he doesn’t win and we can bypass another vote.”

“Good. Will Wiltshire Council send him the bill for having to rerun the poll?”

“This will give him more time to spend with the hunt and hounds..”

Right, that’s enough of that, this isn’t a public forum! Go figure!

Trending…

I See Orange….And Doll Guts!

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Talk in Code Down The Gate!

What, again?! Another article about Talk in Code?! Haven’t they had enough Devizine-styled publicity?! Are their heads swelling?!  Didn’t that crazy toothless editor catch them…

Wiltshire Lays all its Eggs in the Same Basket

You’ve done it now, it’s too late for reason. My reaction to the local election results coming in; you really want to hear it?!

It’s not really news, and altogether unsurprising to see early results to the local town/village elections coming in, proving generally the majority population of Wiltshire is unable to consider change, and doesn’t much care for their neighbours. Yep, if you proudly tow the national party line, or if you waffle how the sheer ignorance, dishonourable and incompetent of the Conservative Party nationally doesn’t reflect your own opinions and views, if you painted your election leaflet blue, you more than likely won it by a country mile. Did we seriously expect anything less?

Face it, any other party, or independent candidate wouldn’t have stood a chance even if they offered everyone a free fish finger sandwich for every vote, and everyone, tory or sensible, loves a fish finger sandwich. To those who lost, it’s not a reflection on you, rather the ignorance of the silent majority. Not even mayo on the sarnie would’ve worked.

As impartial as I get, I offer my congratulations to the winning candidates, but it is with great concern for the wellbeing of the most vulnerable, the youth, the working class and usual victims of this totalitarian regime. Even if many themselves fail to see past their Daily Fail, fail to comprehend the buck stops at the top, and their neighbours, or their mass-media driven forged enemies are not to blame for the current balls up this country finds itself in, it is, nonetheless, proof Wiltshire loves to lay all it’s eggs in the same basket.

It’s not even a shiny new basket, it’s the aged wrecked one, where guaranteed the eggs drop out of the bottom and an expectant fat cat waits to lap them up.

I cross my fingers and toes that this sheer stupidity will not elevate to the Police Crime Commissioner role, due to be announced on Monday, but reflecting on today’s results, I’m not holding my breath. The most controversial and malevolent of all tory candidates standing has raised interest in this debatably inconsequential job. It all hinges on what we want from a PCC; a dedicated experienced man in the field, a politically-minded victim’s mother of a callous and brutal attack with an argument to boot, or a one-policy suspected criminal themself, with the financial backing of the wealthiest felons of blood sports in order to encourage police to turn a blind eye to brutally attacking wildlife for twisted kicks. Seriously, you think you’ll get justice for a burglary, an assault or theft, from a fellow whose only objective for the role is to turnaround the hunting act and roam the countryside on horseback yelling tally-ho and smearing the blood of slaughtered foxes on their face? Is that really the future prospective for policing in the county you crave?

Give me strength. There’s a level of blind folly which astounds my tolerance, it really does. Yet historically it’s a given thing, Wiltshire is Tory, always has been since the Cavaliers whipped the Roundheads; you face it head-on and bite your lip, or you follow suit, opt for the selection which takes no brainpower, and place your cross where you always do. Unreasoning contemporary alterations is a dangerous game, having an opposition is vital to democracy. I’m no politician, don’t pretend to be, don’t wish to be, but that much I do know.  

As this reflects national trend, I hope every successful candidate adheres to the lofty pledges and promises of change, rather than submits to the corrupt ethos of the current cabinet. Okay, so you used the blue platform to get to this point, despite bits of Bojo’s rash and forbidding outbursts, like the watermelon smiles, the post boxes, and now the bodies piling higher, don’t match your sentiments, but the motivation is surely to climb further up the ladder, that’s the philosophy of modern conservatism, and for which you need to kiss the rings of those in charge, and they do not accept a midrange, centre-right standing; you watched them get ousted in favour of far right and nationalists from other parties, remember? You are buying into oppression, whether you want to, or not, like it, or not.

There’s nothing wrong with Conservatism per say, as a theory, and one, possibly two Tories I can stomach, for they seem to have morals on the surface. Yet, it’s when there’s a, whatever the collective noun for self-centred arseholes is, they tend to bounce inconsistences to what’s righteous around, garnish them with wonky and selfish agendas, and generally, fuelled by expensive tax-free wine from daddy’s collection, conjure a plan to maintain the wealth for the wealthiest without concern for the trickling down of any leftover faeces for the common man to lap up.

This is good news for most of us here, this is an affluent area. But I urge you, when you next roll your 21reg Land Rover Discovery off your extensive loose chipping track and drive into the real world, stop to observe not everyone’s silver spoon is quite as polished and orally positioned, and everyone who serves you in Marks and Sparks, everyone who delivers your bespoke Lexington four-draw chest for your next refurb, or collects your recycling bin surely warrants a better day too. Enough to go round, isn’t there? Monkeys live in this jungle too, not just organ grinders.

Ah, same shitshow different day. For me it’s a no news day, and I’m waffling. I can’t even raise my optimism for the news the controversial head Wiltshire councillor Phillip Whitehead has resigned, for it’s easy to suspect another one will be along shortly, equally as vexed. I’m more flabbergasted, and slightly upset the sequel to my fictional story series needs a new thinktank, as those comical and sensitive Tories say!

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Whilst dispersing highly flammable hydrocarbon gases into the atmosphere is not advisory,  Butane Skies is a name increasingly exploding on local circuits. The young and…

Wiltshire Council Leader Advises Tory Candidates to Block Correspondence With Save Furlong Close Campaign

It has been some time since we’ve covered the disgraceful fiasco at Rowde’s Furlong Close, where residents with learning disabilities face closure of the HFT site, their home, and undefined, separated relocation.

The reason being, the situation had fallen into a political stalemate, as HFT ceased all dealings with Wiltshire Council. It seems HFT are no strangers to closing sites down, and equally Wiltshire Council’s reaction is lacklustre. I cannot decide who is really to blame in all this, but something certainly doesn’t add up; perhaps they’re both as bad as each other, and the clock is ticking for May 19th when closure is planned. You know me, I’ve been concerned my anger at this issue will lead me to publish speculation, and the last thing I want is put forth misleading information.

Now, it seems, via a Tweet from The Save Furlong Close campaign group, in a memo released on Easter Sunday, Wiltshire Council Leader, Philip Whitehead advised councillors and future Conservative candidates to block all correspondence with Save Furlong Close Campaigners, in fear it’s being used as “an election matter.”

This is very concerning, while both sides battle the politics out, the Save Furlong Close campaigners are merely worried for the future prospects for the residents there, and least deserve a voice. So, I’m pleased to be able to publish an article, by Mark Steele, a member of the campaign’s steering group, which outlines the history and current situation.

I merely offer to endorse their rightful campaign and promote it as much as possible. If then, residents of Furlong Close are indeed moved out, it will be a terrible day for Wiltshire, and a shameful reflection on a county council, but if this happens and I stood there and did nothing, it’s a shame I would partly bear too, and I have no intentions of that happening. I hope our readers and supporters will agree, and I fully believe, with the permissions of the campaign group, we need to arrange a socially distanced peaceful protest, as soon as feasible. So, WHO IS WITH ME? Watch this space, but here’s Mark’s outline of the happenings in Rowde.

SAVE FURLONG CLOSE

“The true measure of any society can be found in how it treats its most vulnerable members.”

(Mahatma Ghandi)

Save Furlong Close

For the last 30 years, Furlong Close has been home to 36 vulnerable adults with learning disabilities, including Down syndrome, autism and epilepsy.  The residents live in 5 bungalows in a cul-de-sac at the edge of the village of Rowde, sharing a community hall, workshops and gardens (including a market garden and pens for sheep and rabbits).  It is a short walk to the centre of Rowde and a short bus ride to Devizes.  Many of the residents have lived at Furlong Close for more than 20 years.  They are happy and settled, have formed life-long friendships and are a close and caring community. 

In October last year, however, it was announced that Hft (the charity which owns and operates the site) and Wiltshire Council (which funds the majority of the residents) had “jointly” decided that everyone was to be “moved on” by June 2021, the site shut down and the land sold off for development.  The shocked families were told that there would be no consultation or discussion; it was a “done deal”. 

Already reeling from the emotional impact of the pandemic and cut off from the support of their families, the residents were fearful and anxious.  Their disabilities make change extremely stressful for them and being forcibly evicted from their home of 20+ years would cause them great trauma and distress.  For some, the trauma would be life-shortening.  My cousin, David, who has lived at Furlong Close for 18 years, was left in fear of the future and telephoned his 95-year-old mother, Audrey, many times a day, often in tears, to ask her where he would go and who would look after him.  Sadly, Audrey passed away in March, spending the last months of her life wracked with worry about what would happen to her beloved and vulnerable only child (https://twitter.com/savefurlongcl/status/1374671484187242507).

So, why is Furlong Close facing closure?  At first, Hft and the Council said it was “not about money”, but was only about doing the best for the residents.  It was said that “moving them on” from their settled and happy homes would be an “exciting opportunity” for them, but no-one could quite explain how breaking up a happy community and scattering them to new and strange places would be either “exciting” or an “opportunity”.   Certainly, it was an “opportunity” which none of the residents or their families wanted.  Subsequently, it became clear that it was in fact “all about money” after all, with Hft accusing the Council of grossly underfunding the site over many years and refusing to pay the full costs of care.

Faced with this cruel threat to the well-being of our vulnerable relatives, the families organised and the local community rallied to our cause.  People became angry.  43,000 people, from Wiltshire and beyond, signed a petition.  Legal proceedings were commenced by the family of one resident, to seek to have the decision set aside as a breach of her human rights.

Faced with this local anger, Wiltshire Council promptly threw Hft under the bus.  It claimed that the “joint decision” was nothing to do with it, but solely a matter for Hft.  Hft responded angrily, accusing the Council of “lying” and trying to “hide behind” it, and gave notice that it was withdrawing services, not just from Furlong Close, but from Wiltshire as a whole.  With Hft and the Council each pointing the finger at the other, the situation deteriorated into what has recently been described by a judge in the pending legal proceedings as “a shambolic mess”.

As the clock ticks down to the termination of Hft’s contract for the site on 19 May, the residents and their families fear that we are being hung out to dry.  Hft has offered the Council the chance to buy or lease the site and bring in another operator, but neither has taken decisive action to make this happen.  Many suspect that the Council is just playing for time, to try and kick the can down the road until after the Council election in May.  Meanwhile innocent and vulnerable people are suffering and the families are calling on Hft and Wiltshire Council to act now to save Furlong Close. 

Please, if you want to help:

Thank you

Protect Drews Pond Wood Area

Local enviromental campaigners are calling on Devizes Town Council to designate ten areas of land around Drews Pond Wood as Local Green Spaces due to their importance for wildlife, health and wellbeing as well as historical significance.

Please sign the petition, here.

Drews Pond Wood Project has looked after the Local Nature Reserve since 1990 to keep it as a special place for wildlife and a resource for local people. They are asking for your help to get more protection for the wood and its surroundings.

The Local Plan and Neighbourhood Plan are being reviewed. These plans will decide where to put hundreds more houses in Devizes. These plans shouldn’t just be about where to put development – they also need to identify areas that are special and important for people and wildlife so that they can be protected for the future.

The National Planning Framework enables communities to identify and protect areas that are of value to them through Local and Neighbourhood Plans by designating Local Green Space. This designation ensures strong development restrictions on an area. 

Make no mistake, Drew’s Pond Wood has been earmarked for development, though the application has been rejected, this doesn’t protect the area should future applications are made.

Thanks goes to local environmentalist, Joe Brindle and his team for creating the campaign and raising awareness of this. It is supported by the Drew’s Pond Wood Project.

Please sign the petition, here.

After 2 Years: Silverlands Playpark Update

August, two years ago I got on my high horse and exposed the dangerously damaged playpark equipment in Rowde‘s Silverlands Road.

Sadly, over this time the main remaining piece of equipment, the climbing frame, was taped off, leaving the children with one “wobbly” bench left in working order.

Also wrapped in red tape was the Rowde Parish Council’s ability to do much about it, being owned by Wiltshire Council. Unfair to hand over such an asset in such a state of dilapidaton, the issue was lost in limbo.

My emails to Wiltshire Council and in particular, Cllr Anna Cuthbert fell on deaf ears. Seemed despite the article recieveing over 3k hits, it was still superficial to bother to reply.

Enough to leave a soul feeling despondent towards any realisation complaints have any effect on the progress of our county council.

But today I’m glad to be able to update it with positive news. After one final push, contacting councillor Laura Mayes, who promised to “look into it,” an agreement has been met, and working with Rowde Parish Council Clerk, Laura has secured over £20,000 funding from Wiltshire Council to re-design the playground. Please contact her with ideas on what could be included.

So a massive thanks goes to Rowde Parish Council and Cllr Laura Mayes this week for their sterling efforts. Thus proving, over time, a long time abielt, things can be put into action!

Wiltshire Council to spend £1.1m on digital devices so struggling families can access remote education

Wiltshire Council is allocating £1.1m of government COVID-19 funding to buy laptops and digital devices for disadvantaged pupils who currently can’t join classmates learning from home.

The decision to allocate the funding to buy around 2,500 devices means these children will be able to access their school lessons from home rather than have to attend school to do so.

Currently pupils who do not have a laptop can attend school alongside children of key workers and vulnerable students. The new approach will help manage school spaces and continue to help prevent COVID-19 transmission.

Cllr Laura Mayes, Cabinet Member for Children, Education and Skills, said: “It is essential our children and young people can continue to be taught and have an education in these difficult times as well as being able to maintain links with friends and have face to face contact with their teachers. With the news this week that schools will close we are aware there are families and young people out there who are left without the means to access that education and this is not acceptable.

“By using our government COVID-19 funding in this way we are ensuring families are not disadvantaged and can join their peers working from home. We will be working with our schools to ensure those children who need devices can access them.

“I know schools have already been receiving many requests for laptops and some are sending children into school as under the new government rules you can attend. By providing additional laptops we will be freeing up those school places for other pupils who need to be in school.

“Across Wiltshire we have some great charity work happening with many community minded charities offering to recycle second hand laptops so they can be used in schools and I would like to thank them for this extraordinary effort.”


During the summer term Wiltshire Council distributed 1,232 devices provided by the DfE across 138 schools which were designated specifically for disadvantaged and vulnerable children and young people. Currently secondary schools are accessing further allocated devices directly via the DfE and the council is reviewing opportunities to ensure a further reach so children in need have access to the tools for remote learning including tablets, laptops and wifi and data. The DfE has also announced that all primary schools will be able to order laptops and tablets by 15 January and the DfE will contact all primary schools by that date to invite them to order devices.

Wiltshire Council will also be working with schools following the government news that schools, trusts and local authorities can request mobile data increases for disadvantaged children and young people who do not have fixed broadband, if they cannot afford additional data for their devices and are experiencing disruption to their face-to-face education.

Schools are also working with families directly to ensure Free School Meals continues. For those families who are not sure if they are eligible for Free School Meals they can check here.  

Wiltshire Council Ask Gecko For Road-Crossing Song.

Not to make you feel old or anything, but Tufty, the safe road-crossing squirrel turns sixty this year, the Green Cross Code Man is not far behind at 51. Not too long before they’ll need some assistance crossing the road themselves, I don’t doubt!

Popular as retrospection is, Wiltshire Council have rightfully recognised a CJI Tufty makeover might not be best, and the Green Cross Code man is fighting his own conflicting interests between the Sith and Jedi.

How to teach kids to cross the road safely, needs a fresh approach….

They assigned Creative Studios to come up with this little masterpiece of a green cross code safety vid, and I couldn’t think of anyone more apt than the mighty Gecko to produce the song.

Yep, this works on so many levels. “I loved being a part of this project,” Gecko said, “I love the variety that this music life brings.” Well done Gecko, and a great choice by Wiltshire Council.

Wiltshire Council’s Live Covid Update

Wiltshire Council are hosting a live public COVID-19 update on Tues 3 Nov at 5pm.

The online broadcast will feature Wiltshire Council Leader, Philip Whitehead, Chief Executive, Terence Herbert and Director of Public Health for Wiltshire, Kate Blackburn.

They will be providing an update on the latest number of positive cases and the rate of COVID-19 cases in Wiltshire, and the arrangements in place to mitigate the spread of the virus. There will also be details on how schools, care homes and council services are responding to the situation and planning for the coming weeks.

They want to hear from you.

You can submit your questions about COVID-19 and the local response in advance by emailing communications@wiltshire.gov.uk, no later than 5pm on Sunday 1 November.

Full details: http://orlo.uk/szlOg

Wiltshire Council Welcome Proposed Road Signs

Since a Wiltshire Council highway engineer advised Devizes Town Council that a sign at the High Street junction with Long Street is not big enough or in the right position last week, the highway engineer has been around our area suggesting other improvements which must be enforced for safety purposes.

 
Devizes Town Councillors were warned people might not spot the present ‘No Entry’ sign, and that it needs to be 600 CMs wide, wider than the road itself. “Maybe even larger, the bigger the better,” said a Wiltshire Council spokesperson, the one who really has the mentality to grasp simple English. “If it means we have to knock down a few historic buildings to make room, then we will.”

 
“We’d really favour,” the spokesman continued, “that the sign is lit with flashing neon letter-lights and overhead floodlights, twenty-four hours a day. Perhaps, it could also repetitively play a Bonnie Tyler song, or even the soundtrack to Rocky 4, to raise awareness of it too.”

 
“Devizes Town Council is clearly not accounting for the prerogative of speeding businessmen in BMWs belting through Devizes without a finger of fudge to road safety. They may have important calls to make on their phones, be preoccupied trying to locate a Starbucks, or generally too busy eyeing up totty to notice the clearly one-way street has standard no entry signs.”

 
The Wiltshire Council spokesperson, who cannot be named because their nametag fell out of their work jumper, because their mum didn’t iron it on well enough, stated, “those who think there’s no accounting for stupidity are wrong. One blast of ‘Eye of the Tiger’ or ‘Holding out for a Hero’ will alert the most insensitive arsehole; it’s certainly one of my favourite songs.”

 
With this apparent compete lack of competence of town councils to identify these issues, the Wiltshire Council highway engineer has proposed a new selection of signs be erected in obvious danger areas, using visual aids rather than a report, as he can only write in emoji.

 
Devizine has received these exclusive graphic representations for residents to swoon over in delight. I asked the Wiltshire Council spokesperson if he thought they were slightly aesthetically intrusive. “No,” he replied, “I think athletes will love them too.”

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