Author: Darren Worrow

While world leaders have a slagging match over world war three, let’s have a Sunday roast about the state of our roads, shall we?! Because, let’s face facts, if any roads get a plaster on their war wound it’s not for your safety, it’s for political point scoring. Not a council election coming up by any chance, is there; asking for a friend?!

It’s the hot topic for the public, fed up to the back teeth of bouncing along a lunar landscape, wheel trims flying off in random directions, and deciding whether to shave a wind-mirror from oncoming traffic or delve into a bottomless pit of hell. As a result it’s also one which candidates with or without a seat have focussed on. The problem remains, sorting the reality of humble promises from prospective councillors, from the hyperbole spewing from the desperation of existing ones. But either way, their dedication to national political parties encourages them to fight this out with the same gusto and ethos as national politics, and that’s usually dirty and dishonest.

Hopeful candidates like Taylor Wright, Liberal Democrat candidate for Devizes East was bang on the money when he said, “we heard that potholes were just part of pothole season, as if dangerous roads are something we should simply expect. Now, the explanation has shifted to residents being confused about the works taking place. But the reality is clear, people aren’t confused, they’re frustrated. Windsor Drive has been in an unacceptable state for far too long, with potholes making it a daily challenge for drivers, cyclists, and pedestrians alike. Calling this frustration “confusion” risks downplaying a very real and serious issue. Rather than shifting explanations, we should be asking why roads like this are allowed to deteriorate so badly in the first place. Devizes deserve safe, well maintained roads, not short-term fixes and new excuses.” 

Declan Boore, Liberal Democrat candidate for Devizes South added, “residents have told us loud and clear; roads in disrepair, housing challenges, and the need for stronger local services. We’re not just taking notes, we’re taking action. This campaign is about delivering real change for our communities.”

Such posts on their individual Facebook pages were indirectly criticised by Devizes North Conservative Councillor Iain Wallis, who uses his more general Facebook group, Devizes Issues, strictly censored by himself to keep atop the discussion and delete any opposing views. He lambasted such pledges, stating, “We know the roads aren’t perfect, they never will be. Any candidate in the upcoming election who says otherwise either doesn’t understand the issues, or is trying to mislead. While candidates can say what they like to pull at heartstrings and play on legitimate concerns we have, I will keep doing my best to get to the bottom of the real issues and bring you answers from Highways.”  He continued to compare the immense cost needed to repair the roads to the funds available as a justification, and praised the recent investment. He said “bottom” too, tee-hee.

This Conservative claptrap is all a bit Theresa May’s “magic money tree,” isn’t it? The county can find £2.5 billion to propose building a completely unnecessary and permanently damaging tunnel underneath Stonehenge, but ask them to please cover up a few holes in Windsor Drive and they’re suddenly brassic!

Lavington Conservative Councillor Dominic Munns also got wet knickers about the new bobcats, declaring, “Lasting repairs brought about by Wiltshire Council’s £22 million extra investment in our road network and the machinations of our bobcat machines are making a big and visible difference across the county. Bobcats are capable of repairing up to 200 square metres a day – that’s a lot of potholes!”

Humm, that is, lots of potholes; Bobcat the Builder! Can he fix it? Yes, apparently he can, and not a minute too late (election is May.) But surely The Munnster cued that the time is overdue to address the elephant in the room; why are there so many potholes in the first sodding place?! Who’s job is it to highlight the issues to Highways and push things forward?!

We sang the Munnster’s praises upon announcing improvements to the dire and dangerous Black Dog crossroads, seven months ago, yet absolutely nothing has been physically done; just you know, an example to his dedication. If hardworking Munns concentrated on the issue rather than weaponizing the declaration to fire at his opposition we may be some way into carrying the work out by now. The campaign has been ongoing for decades; face it, he simply signed it off and claimed the credit, true Tory stylee. Stating it wouldn’t have been done if the councillor was of any opposition party is hearsay he portrayed as fact, and his downside; no one can say for sure unless the opposing councillor is given an opportunity to.

If I’ve used this analogy before it seems to get directed to a brick wall; if you leave the washing up in the sink, you eventually run out of plates, and you have a much bigger task to address, or eat off the floor like a dog! For the existing councillors can patronise their assurances, they can waffle on social media each time a pothole is shabbily pasted over, but the fact remains the same, Wiltshire Council have seriously neglected road repairs for so many years, the slight problem has amounted to a county-wide embarrassment, and we are the plateless, being treated like dogs.

I’ve been to other counties, some worse than others, but none seem as bad as here. How do they do it? Maybe they didn’t neglect them to begin with, just, you know, a thought. In a 2023 National FOI request into road maintenance repair times, out of the bottom ten, Wiltshire ranked five. 5,565 potholes were reported, the longest fix time was 453 days. The long term damage to vehicles is incalculable and unreportable. Report a pothole on my wilts app they hail their triumph, in the singular! There’s a multitude of ‘em every damn ten centimetres down every single road in the county, and you expect me to fill out a form for each one individually?! Ain’t nobody time fer ‘dat!!

Councillors gather around a repaired pothole to take credit, generally one they live nearby. The only way to live on a pothole-free road in Wiltshire is to move to a house neighbouring a Wiltshire Councillor! It’s a photo-opportunity to post to social media, expecting praise for their drop in the ocean, like showing mummy a picture they drew. They don’t need a medal or flattery, and don’t be manipulated by their propaganda. That. Is. Their. Job! We pay them for this, and if they’d been proactive it wouldn’t have amounted to such the momentous disaster they’re expecting gold stars for patching up.

“The blight of potholes and crumbling road surfaces in Devizes has become untenable, not only is it having an effect on road safety, it is hitting road-users in the pocket,” head of Devizes Guardians, Jonathan Hunter expressed. “The Devizes community expects a far better deal, as opposed to the haphazard and reactive approach to repairs, which is having a crippling impact on the town.” 

“Residents want to see Wiltshire Council demonstrate clear leadership with a targeted and sustainable roads programme, as opposed to blaming the state of the roads on the so-called pothole season and relying on road users to pull-up in their vehicles and report every pothole, as a primary solution,” Jonathan continued; he goes on worse than I, but stick with it!

“Devizes expects and deserves a better deal for the town, with Wiltshire Council listening to the community, in harmony with a repair programme that uses quality and sustainable materials, alongside a rolling maintenance program. Instead, and unfortunately, we have local Wiltshire councillors taking to social media to suggest that the good folk of Devizes ‘believe in unicorns’ when it comes to road quality expectations, this approach completely trivialises the pothole epidemic that has sadly become a reality in Devizes.” In which Jonathan is referring to an outrageous post (few of them aren’t) made by our omnipresent hero Councillor Iain Wallis, whereby he slammed the voting population of Devizes for their complaints, and for any who might take heed of the pledges of the opposition, in favour of praising Wiltshire Councillors for their efforts, and said, “believing in unicorns isn’t going to do it.”

Neither is believing in Tory councillors, Boss Hogg. I reserve my freedom of speech, not to provoke, merely to add for satirical effect, you understand?! “Roscoe, arrest them there Duke boys, yeee hawlll!”

If I take the issue out of context, and place it within my own labour, you’ll see how ludicrous it is. Imagine I hadn’t delivered any milk for a whole year, and suddenly I drop two pints of out-of-date sludge off at old Mrs Perkins’ house, take a selfie at said location, post it on social media declaring how I’m delivering the milk, ban anyone who dares to point out my hypocrisy, and delete their comment so I get the final say; I delivered the milk, here I am doing it, if Keir Starmer was delivering the milk, you’d get nothing but rainbow oatmilk and think yourself lucky!!

You wouldn’t stand for it, would you? You’d tell me, sorry, but you’ve found another supplier. Yeah, he might not be as sexy and brash as me, that’s understandable, but at least he’s doing what you paid him to do. Maybe that’s what you must also do come election time.  

For the latest in this verbal battle goes beyond debate and into the spread of misinformation, and surely acts as justification for my last paragraph, with perhaps the exception of declaring myself sexier than my successor. On Road repairs, Councillor Iain Wallis threw the teddies from his pram, calling out opposition candidates for “irresponsible posting trying to wind people up and get a few votes!”

Ah, anotherscathing post in which Mr Wallis lambasted who he claimed are the ringleaders as “parties who don’t even stand for Wiltshire Council or do stand but don’t live in Devizes and are not part of the community!” It was a shocking Facebook post implying if you do not stand for Wiltshire Council or you do not live here your view is void and invalid; way to go to win over popular opinion; right out of the Royston Vasey political rulebook.

Shame anyone who dares criticise it on his biassed platform akin to the Daily Express on steroids, will be axed and left complaining to uncaring gammons on the alternative Devizes Issues (but better) group, which exists only for spreading hateful prejudice anyway.

“This type of electioneering does nothing for good community relations and unity, it completely trivialises the dire road situation in Devizes,” Jonathan Hunter reacted, Devizes Guardian not standing therefore with a invalid opinion according to Mr Wallis! “Community campaigners are not ‘ring leaders,’ they are local people who are prepared to stand up for residents. It’s very disappointing that candidates are prepared to stoop to these levels and spread misinformation.”

“I take full responsibility for standing up for residents, and will always own my efforts as we support and work alongside the many local people for a better roads deal for Devizes. This is not electioneering, it’s simply standing up for our community, by calling out years of under investment and lack of listening from those who are elected to represent the folk of Wiltshire.”

“I have been campaigning for a better roads deal for many years, therefore to read a widely shared politically motivated statement, describing all those who are standing up for residents as “ring leaders” is completely unfair, patently wrong, and is an absolute disgrace. This type of behaviour completely trivialises local issues, seeks to drive division and puts the personal interests and ambitions of those seeking election above what really matters, which is community unity and respect for each other.” And you’ve got to admit if you follow the Devizes Issues Facebook group or you’ve been kicked out, Jonathan has a point, and what they are being fed there really is one-sided, opinionated and quite frankly, Trump ethics within a local community, and do we really need this?

I urge all standing councillors to quit backstabbing and get on with the job we pay you to do. Else, urge voters to take heed and give a chance to, not those with broken promises being spiteful at those airing popular opinion, but rather those fresh-faced candidates willing to take them on. That, to me, makes more sense than flogging a dead horse which clearly hasn’t delivered, and of whom occupy most of their time playing the blame game, insulting and censoring anyone who feels it necessary to express their frustrations on the issue, because clearly it is frustrating and counterproductive; all the council has to do is fix a darn pothole, storm in a teacup!!