Author: Darren Worrow

Harold Wilson said, “a week in politics is a long time.” Lesser within local politics, but we’ve a month to lambast, so no messing about…. okay, maybe a little. With the promise to reduce satire to this monthly causerie, I’ve been biting my lip till sore… Calne Councillors for Rape campaign, Potterne Hates Solar, to a five- or six-million-pound “sinkhole,” in other words a Wiltshire councillor’s offshore account; it’s all been happening……

Pride month too, where we embraced freedom of expression and equality, or got triggered. “Wens strait pride munth?” thick slices of gammon inquired on social media, and they’ve a point. When we’ve progressed from centuries of heterosexuals beheaded, to imprisonment, onto ridicule, and now more agreeably just obtaining angered emojis on every Pride Facebook share simply for loving someone, maybe. Until then just stay home, it’s not law to attend a Pride, you know? I suspect the sunny but rainy start to the month triggered them too; “even the sky’s gone woke!”

Last month Wiltshire Police and Crime Commissioner Philip Wilkinson was on weed, this month it’s speed; he’s right, dammit, it is a gateway drug! What is a gateway drug anyhow, one you can buy in a supermarket? And if so, can you mix them with Somerfield drugs?!

Ah, Wiltshire Police were cracking down on speeding, raving, weed, and anything else causing misinformed Wilko sweaty underarm patches; brutally ripping foxes apart for fun, he’s fine with. When twenty-seven fruit-bats were clocked speeding in Wilton and a further thirty-three in Harnham at the beginning of the month, Wilko told The Wiltshire Times, “Speeding is dangerous, it can kill and leave others seriously injured.”

This is shocking, a shocking piece of clickbait. No shit, Sherlock Wilko. Like a football commentator, overpaid to state the bleeding obvious. Peep from your office window and realise selfish pricks have cars; they’re hoodies-up driving gung-ho like they’re escaping the wrath of Steppenwolf, else parking them wherever its most inconvenient for emergency services.

This is something we cannot blame those in positions of power for, it is every driver’s responsibility; Google the word “responsibility” in this era where no one is held accountable, not even councillors “losing” six million smackers, of which we will move onto when convenient. Just thought I’d mention it under the premise of “setting a good example.”

There’s no social grouping either; young, old, male, female, black, white; so many drivers have got headless chickens going “you’re erratic, pal;” French headless chickens.

Yet Wiltshire done away with stationary cameras, too expensive, but Wilko’s salary isn’t, apparently. A salary the average copper wiping up bits of brain left on the highway could only dream of. “We haven’t got the resources,” Wilko whinges, then deploys intelligence to break up kids having fun. Yep, on the 19^th of June Melksham Police were “aware of a planned large gathering due to take place in Lacock.”

“The event,” they bragged on Facebook, “which was being organised via WhatsApp, was set to occur without the landowner’s permission and was expected to attract a significant number of young people. We have engaged directly with the individual believed to be organising the gathering, and they have now cancelled the event.”

God forbid, young people, gathering, throwing away their cares and stresses of a business-like education system where they’re the products, for just a few hours, enjoying themselves without profiteering festival organisers hosting middle-class festivals they cannot afford; if it ends in anarchy, it’ll be of the government’s own making. I’m not going to pretend I’m hip with the kids, I’m a 52-year-old grandad, but have we not been here before…with glowsticks?!

One tip, young urn’s; we had raves of 40,000, and we did it by word of mouth; try it, cos WhatsApp can be infiltrated. “We didn’t ‘ave all thart inter-web thingy bark wen I be argh right raver, yer nose!”

Ah yes, lessons of the nineties forgotten, now unarchived. If you don’t provide entertainment for youth, they’ll make their own. Does this fake Labour government want this? Keep supporting genocide, silence objectors, set that example, and watch this backfire into massive civil disobedience, why don’t you?!

“The safeguarding of young people remains a top priority for us,” the police said, didn’t matter about Calne, something else to move onto.

I recall a time when official “pay” raves were no better organised and safer than their illegal counterparts. I cannot say if the same goes now, but unrestricted from the rules of society the majority looked out for each other, even tidied up after themselves. Other than perhaps the noise, they really weren’t the massive problem the media and government would have had people believe, but police would turn up anyway, while their town centres were wrought with drunken troublemakers.

Why not praise their initiative and police it accordingly? Because it’s illegal? Don’t make me laugh, foxhunting is illegal too, but you turn a blind eye to that.

Promoting hate speech isn’t entirely legal either, but police didn’t intervene in Calne when rogue Reform councillor Violette Simpson mistook hypermasculinity and rape culture for “freedom of speech.” Because thanks to Calne Town Council, who unlike Trowbridge’s, swallowing Farage’s strawberry milkshake cum bucket at the Civic Hall, they sensibly refused her event to go ahead in council property. Some call it “woke,” others, with a braincell, call it common sense; I believe they’ve similar meanings.

Ah, Violette again, who, seemingly so frustrated in South Africa about the abolition of apartheid, took it out on the wildlife, proudly posted her gunning an innocent antelope as her Facebook profile picture, and still manged to obtain a seat on Calne Town Council. We’re so indoctrinated Reform candidates could shoot Hello Kitty and still win a by-election.

She invited Carl Benjamin to Calne for a nice chat about “British Identity and the Modern Male,” which roughly translates to how to progress your hatred for women into violence, it seems to me. Carl, though egotistically calls himself Sargon of Akkad after the first ruler of the Akkadian Empire, is rather a YouTubing Swindon answer to Andrew Tate, just with a smidgen more hatred for feminism.

Simpson whimpered about the cancelation like the hurt puppy she probably would’ve shot, calling it an “unprecedented move,” by Calne Town Council, and claimed they were “scared of genuine open and honest dialogue.” Benjamin got a wrap on the knuckle when he Tweeted to Labour MP Jess Phillips, “I wouldn’t even rape you,” meaning it as an insult, to say she was so unattractive to consider raping, ergo if he was to pay her a compliment the precise reverse would be, “I would rape you,” and Violette thinks this is “honest dialogue?!”

It’s not really, is it? It’s twisted mindfuckery intended to evoke and encourage the kind of hypermasculinity which leads to scenarios akin to Jack Thorne and Stephen Graham’s celebrated drama Adolescence. Being Calne suffered a real-life comparable situation just six years ago, when a seventeen-year-old boy stabbed the girlfriend who left him, was an event like this respectful to the family of Ellie Gould?

Then again, does Reform understand respect? “We need strong healthy men to maintain a strong healthy society,” Simpson waffled, has she not seen what this lovechild of Henry VIII and Minecraft Steve has been preaching from Satan’s scrotum?! I’m a red-blooded British modern male, and to me that means having self-control, accepting patriarchy has been rightfully replaced by equality, and life is not Grand Theft Auto.

Strangely, Benjamin himself is a family man, living masked in a fantasy world like he’s Sauron, inspiring boys to take up arms against girls in some imaginary gender war, and I think that’s worse than him being a masturbating loner in a bedsit, because he’s normalising this medieval rhetoric. Not to mention, if he did bash the bishop more, he might be less tetchy; you cannot replace a knob with a game controller, for whilst it may satisfy the male craving for fiddling, it does nought for sexual satisfaction.

Yet in a you’ve not heard the last of this yet notion, Violette vowed to host more controversial events. I wonder what they might be. Matthew Hopkins’ Witch-Burning Festival on International Women’s Day, or a homage to the work of Sir Jimmy Saville on Mothering Sunday?

She even encouraged another Reform town councillor, Augusta Urquhart-Nicholls to jump this bandwagon and bleat to Calne News about how their freedom of speech is unhinged by not allowing them to promote hate. “Reform are here now,” Urquhart-Nicholls told Calne News, “we have been elected, did you really think I would make this easy for you?” Sounds like a Trump-like threat to anyone with empathy, unsurprisingly.

Okay, if she’s an advocate of free speech despite backed by a fascist company posing as a political party, she might not go as far as sucking off Bob Vylan, but she cannot object to me stating the bleeding obvious, that though I’ve not met the bloke, or have any desire to do so, he sounds like an utterly vile doggie doing, typical of Reform, and the only event he should be speaking at is a how to drop your soap in the shower for kudos at HMP Belmarsh.

Can we move on now, because if there’s any positive to be obtained from these women promoting hatred towards women, it’s surely proof that Reform councillors are as thick as a Boxing Day turd.

Things are nicer in Potterne, they’re just in dying need of a Green Party parish councillor. I supported Potterne Against Solar as I agreed One Tree Hill was an unsuitable location for a solar farm, but now they’re raging against another, proposed on Whistley Road, because it’s a blot on the landscape between the cesspit and breakers yard. It might just be me, but I’m kind of thinking they just don’t like renewable energy.

One legend suggested on Facebook they put them on the roofs of carparks, because yeah, dammit, all those multistorey carpark roofs in Potterne are just going to waste! Roughly translated, “not in my backyard.” I’m mistaken to assume we all had to do our bit, before One Tree Hill is One Tree Island. But it’s nice to know I can still walk my dog there when all life on Earth is extinct.

Carpark? Don’t make me laugh; on the same day, the trusty Gazelle & Herod reported on the uncertainty of St Stephen’s multi-storey carpark in Trowvegas. Under review from structural engineers, “three months after a swathe of parking bays were closed off.” Carparks here cannot hold their own weight, let alone a solar farm on top; almost symbolic of the shambolic Wiltshire Council, huh?

Oh, bet you thought I wouldn’t mention it, didn’t you? Hope and pray this will be pushed under the carpet as quickly as it crept up on us; the £5 million, or maybe £6 million, (who’s counting the odd million?) “sinkhole” opened in Wiltshire Council’s finances the new Lib Dem administration revealed, and corporate director of resources Lizzie Watkin informatively said it was “a very big number.” Good point on a Wilko grading system, that’s like a day’s cash-in-hand work for Jeremy Clarkson.

Stranger Things; no-one has been able to explain what caused it, no-one saw it coming, and some doubted whether the hole exists at all. Using a monkey climbing a tree idiom, I favour the latter; a “sinkhole,” is that another name for a councillor’s offshore account?

The Lib Dems claimed the dosh was missing when they took over, the Conservatives claimed it was there when they left, (blame Pickfords?) The council’s chief executive said both things were true, and the shoemaker looked suspiciously at the elves.

£5.5 million was laughed off like it was a box of pencils. All we know is ex-Conservative leader Richard Clewer’s favourite song is Shaggy’s It Wasn’t Me. Typical Tory who doesn’t understand the buck stops at the top, and it isn’t the Demogorgon from the upside down.

The scapegoat for the deficit, which must be replenished, but how that might be achieved is the final unsolvable Scooby-Doo mystery, but you can bet your bottom dollar the taxpayer will involuntary be involved, is pointed at an overspend in adult social care. The budget of which is conveniently something as much spiralling out of control as my waffling, yet unarguably a necessity in a world gone bonkers. The Care Act 2014 moved the goalposts, they reckoned, and everyone got confused at the complicated process, very professional till the end.

Imagine the state of social care if there was no overspend, as it’s currently more like Mad Max’s Thunderdome rather than Huxley’s Brave New World. Here’s an unrelated report about severely autistic Darren Jones, about to be evicted from a Warminster care home; there’s many comparable stories, and we know from the Furlong Close scandal, when councillors look at care homes they see real estate.

Though, I’d rather fetch £6 million out of my own pocket than imagine what adult social care would be like if Reform won the majority and deported the immigrants; and the next in line for adult social care is most of the Reform voters! Chew on that fat until next month when we return for more shit hitting the fan. You can negatively comment, but frankly, Frank, I don’t give a Frank.

Events with diversity, be they ethnic, cultural, or life choices, must be welcomed, encouraged and viewed positively as assets offering variety in our local calendar of activities. Rather I find many social media posts promoting such hijacked by a vocal minority hoping to spread their hatred and prejudices to the easily influenced. Don’t jump on bandwagons, you are not sheep. Besides, it makes you look like a Muppet, and a very misinformed one at that….

It is, quite frankly, shameful and embarrassing. Find this plentiful during Pride month, but aside this, I’m also shocked to scroll through hoards of disgraceful comments on a post advertising a free African Festival, ardently welcoming “everyone,” to be held in Swindon on the 5th July.

I held my tongue, concerned any appeal might backfire, and attract more objectifying, but I trust our readers have compassion and understanding. And since the same thing happened again last week, this time for a Refugee Festival at Fairfield House in Bath, happening this Sunday, 15th June, something must be said outside the confines of those groups affected, and I’m going to; deal with it if you’re one to post such offensive dribble.

Deal with the reality you’ve either absolutely no idea or care to know the historical and religious implications of Fairfield House, and while any number of events they hold there are possibilities for your vile attacks, you’ve simply been triggered by the word ‘refugee’ on this particular occasion. To illustrate this and prove your selfishness, let’s backtrack the narrative to build a summarised timeline, please try to digest it and reflect. I don’t write emoji.

Before we embark on our brief history field trip, note this isn’t anything to do with opinions on the current immigration system, as we’d be opening an unnecessary Pandora’s box. Though it’s worthy noting the same politicians who convinced enough of the public to vote for the financial suicide we call Brexit, are the same ones convincing you it’s immigration causing the problem; coincidental? Hummm…..

While gammons chew on that fat, for the more awake, let’s go back seven-hundred years, when tyrannical European slave ships began packing African captives on board like cargo, of which Britain was a major player. Oh, and the consequent 400 years this industry infested into the Atlantic slave trade, profiting on repression and persecution, resulting in millions of deaths, the redistribution of the African population, and forevermore confining a majority to poverty and subjects for institutionalised racism, so Europeans could sprimkle sugar on their acquired wealth.

Or maybe just eighty years ago, when racist fascist forces caused a world war, where De Bono’s Italian invasion of Ethiopia drove Emperor Haile Selassie into exile, settling at Fairfield House in Bath, for that’s the historic significance of the festival’s venue many gathered to unfairly criticise and condemn on social media this week. It’s also relevant to add at this point, descendants of the Africans unwilfully redistributed throughout the Caribbean and with no education of their origin began to look to Haile Selassie as a deity, after prophecies from scholars like Marcus Garvey advocated, and the religion of Rastafari developed, hence Fairfield House’s religious significance too.

Let’s go back post war, seventy-seven years ago, when the British government encouraged mass immigration, inviting Afro-Caribbean folk to fill shortages in the post-war labour market. Or trek a few decades back, when they were living under hostile conditions due to the country’s financial downturn, in which the National Front waged war and police did little to prevent it; use the New Cross house fire as an example, and consider by the very nature of these online taunts, if we’ve ever really progressed nearly enough on racial equality since.

Or let’s just go back just seven years, when the Home Office either detained, denied legal rights, or threatened deportation to British subjects of Caribbean origin, the very people they invited here, the Windrush generation. They even wrongly deported many, had their passports confiscated and were refused re-entry to the UK, or were denied benefits or medical care.

Let’s calculate all these misjustices despite there being many more we’ve not mentioned and from many other nationalities and races, roll them into one fat conclusion, and tell me again; you want to deny folk from such backgrounds from organising a community event open to all, least sound your grievances against it because you’re powerless to prevent it?!

Really?! Pathetic, and, not to mention, totally unjustified. Collect the toys you’ve thrown from your pram and try your best to think, just for a second, for even if you’ve not considered everything I’ve said, and still don’t like it, no one is forcing you to go!  It makes absolutely no difference to your life if they do or do not host an event. Have you ever heard the idiom live and let live?!

Here at Devizine we will gladly mention those events, respectfully. 

The first Bath Refugee Festival is Sunday 15th June from 12pm – 7pm at Fairford House, 2 Kelston Road, Bath BA1 3QJ. The event is organised by Bristol-based Sudafest, which showcases the vibrant essence of Sudanese cultures and arts, forging connections with diverse communities worldwide. Through dynamic events, they bridge gaps, promote understanding and ignite a profound sense of global unity.

The Bath Refugee Festival is an initiative celebrating the contributions, cultures, and voices of refugees and migrants in Bath. Taking place in June, the festival will align with this year’s national Refugee Week theme: Community as a Superpower, featuring a diverse programme of events, performances, and discussions. Tickets are £15 with concessions, from HERE.

There are many other events at Fairford House, including tours, Rastafari Monthly Sabbath Observance, and The 133rd Birthday Celebrations of HIM Emperor Haile Selassie I on Saturday 19th July and Wednesday 23rd July. See HERE.

The African Festival is a vibrant day full of colour, rhythm, and culture on Saturday, 5th July 2025 at St Marks Recreation Ground, Whitehouse Road, Swindon. SN2 1DB, from 1 PM to 8 PM. It is FREE and everyone is welcome, everyone!

Expect: Spectacular Acrobatic Dancers, Live Reggae, Calypso, and Afrobeats Music, African Festive Dancers, Traditional Storytelling, Fun Children’s Rides, and A Taste of Africa with a variety of mouth-watering cuisines. The African Festival asks you to bring friends and family, to celebrate the rich culture and joyful spirit of Africa in Swindon. Find more info HERE.

To me, this sounds fabulous. This is an opinion piece, I reserve the right to express it, if you disagree that’s your prerogative, but I cannot and will not entertain negative comments which incite prejudices, because we believe, and always will believe, in One Love.