I’m rapping with Devizes Town Clerk Simon Fisher about the transfer deal from Wiltshire Council to Devizes Town Council, and the future usage of the Market Place; throw me a paddle, why do I get myself into these things? 

Not one to usually report news items, leave that to the trustworthy local journal, I felt this current local issue doing the rounds on social media does concern Devizine, being we’re an event and entertainment website. The Wiltshire Council’s transfer package to Devizes Council, is close to becoming Devizes’ own Brexit. I’m not taking sides, no sir-ey, not me, not getting involved.

 
Talk of converting the Market Place into a pedestrianised, “vibrant” community and social area is of interest to us, because I feel we need more areas like this, and kind of warm to the idea; in an ideal world.

 
The sad reality is though, while I appreciate any effort to improve sites for entertainment purposes, and this would be also be environmentally sounder than its current usage as a carpark, Devizes simply doesn’t have the capacity, infrastructure and population to support such a proposal. The idea of having a mini-Glastonbury in Devizes town centre all cool and groovy, but really, for much of the time would it really be so? Could we actually do this, or, as the other angle of the debate sharply points out, is dramatically reducing free parking in town going to have a detrimental effect of the businesses there?

 
It’s a melon-twister for sure, I wouldn’t want local businesses of suffer anymore than I’d want the space to become a barren desert left to a posse of drinkers sitting on a bench with a few tinnies. Yet the space, when needed, such as DOCA events, has been used effectively, just as they propose, with great effect, then it returns to a carpark.

 
Rather similar to Glastonbury, which is a vibrant festival of performing arts, a virtual city of revellers, for a week, but returns to be Worthy, a working farm the rest of the year. No one is suggesting you can’t park that cow in that field, as we want it to be Glastonbury Festival every day. As soon as I heard news of this, I despatched a few questions in an email to Town Clerk, Simon Fisher.

 
But opinions fly and fury rages on social media far quicker than media like your truly can relate, obtain a response and publish an article. I awaited a reply before joining any online witch-hunt. Simon did respond with an apology, just as I was wondering if the email to DC had accidently been sent to comic publishers instead, stating he was busy and would answer my questions soon.

 
With itchy fingers, I thought I’d kill some time while I waited for Simon Fisher to respond, by writing a short story. So, you lucky people, I’ve two articles out today; either scroll down for a response to my questions about the transfer from the Town Clerk, or click here to read my short story, which, I must point out, bears no resemblance to this, or any other local issues currently doing the rounds. Best option is to do both.

 
I greeted Simon, hoping he was in a fine fettle and wished him a bleated happy new year, cos I’m nice like that, what more evidence do you need? Well, for starters, I congratulated Devizes Council on this news, as in theory it sounds good. I’m all for keeping local issues between locals.

 
“On the WC article,” I asked Simon, “you’re quoted, ‘a programme that will support local communities to have greater control over services that help shape their towns.’ Yet one complaint on a Facebook group asks, ‘Bringing control of services to the locals?! I don’t think so! Is this really what local people wanted? No!’ So, what is the best procedure, for people who’d like to make suggestions and put their point across to DC?”

 
This didn’t get an answer, so I’ve no idea, email them through their website I guess, maybe I was being bleeding obvious! But along similar lines I asked, “How is DC communicating with the public to obtain the most popular and favourable decisions?”

 
This did receive a reply, bit indirect, but a reply nonetheless, “What is meant by this is that it is the Councillor who have been elected by local residents, who will be making decisions and those Councillors will be better in places to understand local concerns.”

 
Okay-dokey, that’s not incorrect by any means but…… moving swiftly on, “The main concern is the plans for the Market Place,” I probed, “and the ending of car parking. Why is this being done?”

 
“We consulted with the stakeholders,” Mr Fisher explained, “including FSB and the C of C, over changes to parking in the Market Place and they concluded that of the limited options available from Wiltshire Council, the option to have a community space with some exempt chargeable parking was the best option and that is what has been included within the transfer package. During the parking review we conducted a survey (537 people responded) and the option to turn the car park into a pay and display, was the least popular option which was the only way the who are could be retained it as a carpark.”

 
“Aside for environmental reasons,” I asked next, “the space is made available for “community use” when the opportunities to fill it are apparent, DOCA events, May Fair, etc. The remaining time it is perhaps better filled for parking, to make the shops accessible. Such a large community space is great for large events, and of course, Devizine thoroughly supports and encourages this, but a Tuesday morning in February, for example, the area will be barren, surely?”

“We accept that we will need to put resources into the town centre to ensure the place does not look barren space and that there is plenty going on,” Simon explained, to my satisfaction.

 
“I ask DC, how can a town of Devizes size, make full use of this sizable area, on a daily basis? And what plans do you have in place to insure it’s not just a wasted space?”
“As part of the parking discussion with Wiltshire Council,” Simon continued, “we made that exact point and they have compromised, in that half of the space can be used for non- chargeable parking in the Market Place, which is defined as blue badge holder, motorcycles, taxis, etc. This would allow the moving of the taxi rank, some disabled parking bays and the coach drop off point to create parking spaces in these locations.”

 
I wanted to point my ambiguity on forming an opinion on this, “Don’t get me wrong Simon, in an ideal world this sounds fantastic, I’d like to see a vibrant market area akin to Camden, but the reality is, we are not in a city, and we do not have the population, or infrastructure to support this every day, surely it’d be best to use some of the space, at least, to ease street parking?”

 
“What you are suggesting is what we have now,” Simon responded, well, yeah, if it ain’t broke. But Simon thinks otherwise, “and even with free parking in the town centre, retailing is struggling. We have on average under 70% parking occupancy in the town and free parking is not sufficient to bring people from outside Devizes to do their general shopping and therefore in the most part, there has to be another reason. What we do know is that the busiest visitor day in Devizes is Thursday, when there is no parking in the Market Place. Those market town up and down the country, which are striving attracted visitors are focusing on making their towns interesting and vibrant places to visit and I fear if we don’t try, then we will continue on a downward spiral.”

 
Now, while the latter half of this reply is spot on, try telling me the average is under 70% parking occupancy in the town, when I’ve driven around the centre three times looking for a spot, I double-dare you! I’d wager paid parking has been factored into this statistic, surely? That’s the point of the fury, if people have to pay, they’ll go elsewhere.

“Furthermore,” I put, “this idea was put by Wiltshire Council as a kind of rose-tinted threat during their process of hiking up parking charges, and extending them to Sundays and all night, for the sole reason to make them extra pocket money; rather than celebrate social events they wanted to burden them by making everyone pay to park during them, true?”

 
“You would need to ask Wiltshire Council that question.”
No way Jose, you can, if you want!

 
“How ironic then,” I battled on, “that they’d suggest such a community-spirited opportunity, and now, it seems, they cannot handle public outcry, they’ve handed the bag to you. Who will be in control of paid carparks, and who gets the revenue under this new plan?”

 
“Wiltshire Council.”

 
I rest my case. “Do you appreciate this sounds like a smokescreen, only to encourage the usage of paid carparks rather than actually bringing the town the opportunity to host community events?” I asked.

 
“Wiltshire Council were clear about this when the put together their parking strategy,” Simon furthered, “in that they wanted a further £95k from parking in Devizes.”
Greedy buggers, maybe reduce traffic wardens, save some pennies that way.

 
“I hope I am wrong on that last point,” I suggested, “but it will be the question burning lips! To me, it sounds like a plan, having more faith in DC than WC to deliver the right choices, and I’d like to wish you every success with it. Anything we can do at Devizine to promote and suggest ideas for this “community space,” just ask. In the meantime, I could add a poll, what people might like to see the space used for; I’m sure there will be some shocking yet atypical Devizes-humour responses!”

 
This time Simon no way Jose’d me, “we are appointing a Town Centre Manager whose job will be to increase the variety of markets and events in the town, working with groups to ensure that there is a lot going on, not only for Devizes residents but also making it an attractive destination of choice for those living in neighbouring towns who are looking for something to do.”

 
Failure to inform us of the proper and effective method to communicate with The Devizes Council, and put our concerns to them, at the beginning of this response, now revealed reasoning; he hit the nail on the head with this last comment; short answer, they don’t seem to want to hear your opinion, they’re appointing a manger to sort it all out for us; sit back and enjoy your new community space people, everything is done for you. You’ll only need to check your parking ticket’s not overdue, and stuff another tenner in the machine to enjoy said space.

 
Very conservative approach, wouldn’t you say what-what?

Adverts & That.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Simone Pescatore quivered in the arch-back seat as Ricardo “Roulette” Cleweraro poured a second bourbon into a diamond-cut highball and casually pushed the decanter across the oak desk. “I’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse,” Ricardo sneered, “You see, Simone, we feel that entertainment is going to be a big factor in drawing shoppers into the market towns, honest we do. We’re hoping that you’ll sign a contract agreeing you control the Market Place, Devizes, but we can’t have the public parking freely when we’ve gone to the effort of providing high-cost, paid parking, now can we? Perhaps convince some of your friends in the Guardians to take the blame, eh?”

 
The Guardians reigned over Devizes, that much was true, but to the Consiglio di Wiltshire, they were nothing. Simone only too aware, it was complying or face the consequences. Ricardo sensed his anxiety, “we’re counting on you, Simone.”

 
Anger boiled in Simone, standing, he enraged, with only card left to play. “Now you listen to me, you smooth-talking son-of-a-bitch,” he yelled, “let me lay it on the line for yer and your boss, whoever he is! Consiglio di Wiltshire will never get that deal! I don’t care how many Trow-Vegas guinea chav-greaseball goombahs come out of da woodwork!”

 
Cleweraro smirked, curved his arms over his shoulders and placed his hands behind his head, brewing in confidence, “I’m from Salisbury.”

 
Simone Pescatore, “well, let me tell you something, my Sarum-mick friend, people won’t pay to park, they can’t afford to, not with all da other cuts to public services you’ve made! I’m gonna make so much trouble for you, you won’t know what hit you!”

 
“There are negotiations being made that are going to answer all of your questions and solve all of your problems,” Ricardo continued unperturbed, “That’s all I can tell you right now. If want control you take it, but if you don’t hike up parking charges, the Market Place will be converted into a community space; fiestas, contadino’s mercato, and the odd tumbleweed passing by on a Tuesday afternoon. That’s the deal Consiglio di Wiltshire are willing to make, I suggest you take it.”

 
“Over my dead body!” Pescatore mumbled, hesitantly. He thought of the good people of Devizes, he didn’t care for a turf war, they’d flock to Trow-Vegas to shop, if they cannot park in their own town. A county-town where Consiglio di Wiltshire had conveniently made parking free, in plush multi-stories with minimal empty drug paraphernalia littering, stench of piss, and dank sleeping bags of rough sleepers; victims of the cuts. Bypass such matters with nose in the air, and they had class, superior shops, functioning infrastructure, and a Wagamamas.

 
Devizes cannot compare, with its minor boutiques, charity shops and Chick-O-Land. Yet, if he didn’t agree, Consiglio di Wiltshire would continue controlling this expanse, probably threaten to close more education facilities, devise more ineffective alterations to road layouts with their disorganised Muppets erecting perpetual roadworks, and snatch candy from babies, dancing the floss in gloat.

 
He gulped, pushed into a corner, “okay,” he trembled, “done.”

 
“I am sorry,” Ricardo “Roulette” Cleweraro confessed slyly, “What happened to your council was business. I have much respect for your so-called Devizes Guardians. But your Guardians, their thinking is old-fashioned. You must understand why I had to do that, the Consiglio di Wiltshire family need feeding, second homes, and a yacht or three moored in the Caribbean. Now let’s work through where we go from here.”

 
Simone Pescatore smiled his first smile, awkwardly. “Yeah, let’s talk business, Ricardo. First of all, we’re all done. The Guardians don’t even have that kind of muscle anymore, some fly-kid in the teddy bear racket, local businessman trying muscle in. He’s been gone snitched to the local sausage wrapper, da Gazelle n Herod, blubbing all this, ‘following their parking review last year it was clear that this was never going to be an allowable option’ malarkey.”

 
Ricardo leaned forward in his chair with his hands held out, he was getting somewhere with this two-bit, small-town councillor, minimal threats, if it wasn’t for some shylockbusiness rat. “Yeah, tell me more, don?”

 
Simone stumbles, “Yeah, gives it, ‘the parking review set out two clear choices for the Market Place: it either became a pay and display car park with a premium charge, allowing parking for up to two hours or all parking was to be removed.’ He’s accusing us of betrayal, us, da Guardians, in da rag!”

 
“Sheez, your problemo!” Ricardo waived off the delinquent, “deal with him, stuff his bears with crank n call the cops, or take him out, but make it look like an incidente, capeesh? Perhaps he could try turning right out of Dunkirk Hill or sumthuin’.”

 
“Is no problemo,” Simone assured, “he tows the party line, just worried, as they all will be, about their two-bit businesses; the Godmother’s sick, right? Sick from too much Brexit. The Vizes is a Tory town through and through, they’ll whinge outside Lidl, and post complaints on The Devizes Issue, but they’ll never chase us out of town. We will stop the free parking in the Market Place, spin ‘em a false promise about locating another, fictional place to park free; and you’ll get your readies, but Devizes is ours.”

 
With grave sincerity Ricardo nodded, “don’t fuck me, Simone. Don’t you ever try to fuck me; I’m frigid.”

 
Simone of the Guardians knew a good deal when he saw one, and this wasn’t it, but he’d return to Devizes with some pathetic excuse or other, and the people will buy it. He stood up, kissed Ricardo’s ring, bearing the insignia of the Consiglio di Wiltshire. “I never fucked anybody over in my life that didn’t have it coming to ’em,” he told him, “You got that? All I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don’t break ’em for no one. You understand? That piece of shit up there, Yan Wallo, I never liked him, I never trusted him. For all I know he had me set up and had my friend, the Basil Brush collection tin outside the Brittox News, killed. But that’s history. I’m here, he’s not. You wanna go on with me, you say it. You don’t, then you make a move.”

Adverts & That

Local MP Claire Perry’s weekly newsletter appeared in my inbox today, I thought I’d decode the complicated jargon of it by inserting basic translations in brackets, so there is no need to worry, our government, apparently, is in full control of the situation.

Welcome! (Tory supporters. Others, just signed up for my newsletter for satirical purposes can kiss my rosy red….)

It was a busy start to the New Year, (although we had a fortnight break, while you all slaved through the festive season, filling shop shelves and delivering goods in your pathetic, minimum waged jobs; insert Nelson Muntz style “ha-ha” here) with Brexit continuing to dominate Parliament and the news (other critical national issues rightfully on hold). (Help! We haven’t got a clue what we’re doing, and Nigel Farage put a slug in my knickers.)

I was of course disappointed by the result on Tuesday evening (someone told me the majority of the population have been disappointed since the day this government got into power, which I find very hard to believe.) Whilst I recognise the concerns of my colleagues (did I say colleagues? I meant backstabbing backbenchers and filthy snowflaking Leftie extremists I’d like to brutally murder) around the complex issue of the backstop in Northern Ireland (whatever that is, I live in Wiltshire don’t you know?) I still believe that leaving with a deal provides the best way (despite originally campaigning to remain) forward to fulfil our duty to deliver the Referendum result whilst also protecting jobs and the economy, (believe it, or I’ll diss you on Twitter) and I will continue supporting the Prime Minister in securing a deal that we can all coalesce around (because through my rose-tinted specs, it’s united the country.)

(You may be surprised to hear that) I voted with the Prime Minister this week, (for the sole reason to protect my job) and will continue to back the Government, because I believe that this is the best way forward to ensure we leave in an orderly way (an orderly way and Brexit goes hand-in-hand doesn’t it?) with a good deal, (despite half the population wanting to crash out and the other not wanting to leave at all) and ensure that the UK has the decent, moderate government it needs to build a country that works for everyone (and I’ve not suffered brown tongue symptoms for no reason.)

We now have a responsibility to work together (to divide and rule) to identify (see if we can’t come up with another desperate Baldrick-style cunning plan) a way forward that can secure the backing of MPs across the House of Commons (so we can have another holiday, I fancy the Seychelles this year, how about you, Butlins again? You’ll be lucky.) In the coming days, there will be meetings taking place between senior representatives (do I have to go?) including the Prime Minister, (she’s so sexy she can turn a girl’s head, and I’m not that way inclined, in fact as a Tory I hate homosexuality, one rule for you, one for me) and groups of MPs who represent the widest possible range of views (honestly, they do) from across Parliament, to reach a consensus and get on with delivering a Brexit that works for everyone (for our personal outside business dealings; bollocks to the rest of you.)

Adverts & That

Getting stuck in traffic can be frustrating enough, getting stuck in traffic in Calne is another thing all together! Sorry, sorry people of Calne, it’s cheeky Tuesday, always a tad mischievous on Tuesdays. I didn’t mean it really, I don’t go for town school rivalry, you know all that, “Devizes School, Calne School, fight, fight, fight,” nonsense; just isn’t me.

Did that happen here? It did where I came from, we used to sporadically fight with the other secondary school in our town, and annually organise one with the neighbouring town of Braintree. Being there’s only one school in Braintree, and Keith Flint of the Prodigy lived there, I’ve been known to spin a yarn about me fighting him. A bit of research though, revealed Flint didn’t move there until after leaving school; thanks Wikipedia, you’ve ruined my only claim to fame.

 
Anyway, I digress; congestion in our market towns is a twisted firestarter, fact. Calne Labour are campaigning, calling on Wiltshire Council and Calne Town Council to urgently secure funding for an independent traffic study to investigate practical options to address the bottle-neck in Calne and improve traffic flow and air quality in the town centre.

 
In a petition gathering more pace then the flow of traffic down Curzon Street, they state, “A large part of Calne, covering most of the town centre, has been designated an Air Quality Management Area due to pollution levels well in excess of Government limits for Nitrogen Dioxide and Particulates (small particles in the air). Both these pollutants emanate from road traffic and can be very damaging to human health. It has been estimated that this level of pollution contributes to the premature death of nine people in Calne every year.”

 
“Air pollution is exacerbated by traffic congestion, which is a particularly significant issue at the give-and-take system between Oxford Road and Curzon Street. This bottle-neck effectively cuts the town in half during peak periods, with significant delays to journey times.”

 
“Curzon Street’s bottle-neck is bonkers,” I expressed to Tom Morris of Calne Labour, in a manner only I would.

 
Tom agreed, but added, “for pollution it’s worse in New Road, due to HGVs on the A4.”

 
Often infrastructure issues in our market towns can seem impossible to solve, in Devizes we slapped a plaster on a served limb. Please sign this petition and hope some professional advisors can solve the riddle, because getting stuck in traffic is annoying, but considering the environmental and health implications of doing nothing is another.

SIGN THE PETITION HERE

Adverts & That!

While it’s that quiet month of January, when all that remains of a festive season are a couple of abandoned coconut creams in an otherwise empty Quality Street tin, a lone Christmas cracker novelty moustache sluggishly gliding under the fridge and a tree dumped in the street with a single streamer dangling, it’s a good opportunity to highlight forthcoming stuff to do, and look forward to summer festivals and extravaganzas.

 
If you’ve not yet discovered the news that Devizes has its very own scooter rally this summer, prearranged by The Devizes Scooter Club, then you’ve been living either on the moon, or Pewsey. But you might be forgiven to assume that an event of this magnitude will render the Scooter Club void of its usual crazy, crazy nights at the Conservative Club; you’d be very much mistaken.

Not content to sit on their laurels and await the rally in July, they’ve been busy revving engines, and perhaps safe-bet gigs with two nights of returning favourites and also, a new-comer to Devizes. So, it begins; on Saturday February 23rd, tickets for this a mere snip of a fiver in advance, for possibly the most renowned northern soul DJ in the UK, Mr Terry Hendrick, precisely one day under a year from the last time he graced us with his presence, rather splendid two-tone suit and braces.

Devizine reported a blinding night as thus; “Northern Soul aficionados from far and wide mingled with Devizes natives for an evening of cheongsam dresses, two-tone suits and quality northern soul on the talcum powdered dancefloor of the overflowing Conservative Club last night,” as it was indeed a cracking night, nearly cracked the old knees! Terry Hendrick does not disappoint, with a blend of rare groove and classics for all fans of soul. I suspect it’ll be a heady night with bar staff rushed off their feet!

 
The end of April, Saturday the 27th, also sees a soulful return of a favoured night last year. Bedfordshire’s finest, All That Soul’s reappearance also marks an anniversary of their original visit to our town. At the time I intended to flick between the club and a band at the Southgate, but once I heard these divas sing, I stayed for the duration, wedged in the groove!

Of all the fantastic nights the Scooter Club have owned, I’m reckoning All That Soul was perhaps the best, of which I described at the time as thus; “I kid you not, they were the soul cover band equivalent of Star Trek’s Borg, in matching frocks; resistance was futile. They assimilated me, half the population of Devizes, and reassigned our honky booties from the bar to the dance floor. With irresistible charisma and panache from the off, they filled the Cons Club with a plethora of chic Motown and Atlantic soul classics.”

The two most celebrated acts we’ve seen at the Scooter Club are separated by a newcomer to Devizes in March, Saturday March 30th to be precise. The Decatonics change the genre, a nine-piece ska band based in Bournemouth. Formed in 2012, they’re female fronted, loud and proud. See, you can apply as much soul as you like guys, but when it comes an evening to whine up mi waist like I was young again, it’s good to hear a bit of ska has also been included. Look forward to this night; tickets are a tenner.

I think, after April the Club understandably ween off the Cons Club nights, to work on this forthcoming rally. July really will test them to the limits, with eights acts plus DJs, it’ll be a heady weekend for scooter enthusiasts, but more importantly I feel, an awesome opportunity for locals with a passing interest in the scene to sample the diverse range of music on offer. It’ll all be covered there, from mod, to rock steady and ska to northern soul.

Not to mention it’s in Rowde, and you know what we’re like! So, yeah, like groovy, while tickets are available at the Cons Club, Vinyl Realm and Jeffersons for Terry’s night in Feb, wristbands have also gone on sale for the Rally; now that should cheer your otherwise gloomy January night up a bit…. better than a squashed coconut cream.

Adverts & That!

After the sell-out Kidnap in Pantoland, The Wharf Theatre, Devizes are preparing for their first production of the year, Neil Simon’s Chapter Two. Directed by Lewis Cowen it runs from Monday 28th January to Saturday 2nd February, doors at 7.30pm.

 
Novelist George Schneider is still grieving over the death of his wife, Barbara, when his brother Leo sets him up on a date with actress Jennie Malone. Jennie has gone through years of counselling and a messy divorce and neither of them consider themselves ready for a new relationship. However, when the efforts of Leo and Jennie’s best friend Faye, whose marriages are also in trouble, proves unexpectedly successful chaos ensues.

 
This is Neil Simon at his hilarious best, his sparkling dialogue softening the edge of what is, at heart, a serious examination of what it means to lose one’s partner. His semi-autobiographical Chapter Two examines what it truly means to love someone and whether it is possible to find a soulmate more than once in a lifetime.

 
Tickets: (£12/under 16s £10) can be purchased from Ticketsource at: https://www.ticketsource.co.uk/the-wharf-theatre/events

 
or at the Devizes Community Hub and Library on Sheep Street, Monday to Friday, 9am-5pm or by ringing 03336 663 366.

 
To find out what else is on at the Wharf pick up a new Autumn/Winter brochure which is now available from the Community Hub and Library and many other outlets around Devizes. For further information contact Karen Ellis http://www.publicity@wharftheatre.co.uk

Adverts & That!

Some might say happy new year, what lovely fireworks.

 
Others might say it’s a farcical pageant for a generation of infantile gurning, self-indulging dunces to rejoice the impending most ambiguous year in our nation’s history by throwing billions of needed money up in smoke. Dreary bloody grouches.

 
So, with sore heads we plunge into 2019, bequeathed by our leadership with nonchalant promises; they know what they’re doing, and an idle request to be united when the shameful reality is, we’ve never been so divided; politically, financially and in opinion of this dodgy fiasco we call Brexit. The only thing which seems to unite us is the notion we cannot accept this pledge from the one person who pledged it, that and, of course, the very fact no unnecessary finances will be thrown at some lavish ceremony for the 2018 Devizine awards; that’s a sure thing!

 
Honestly, not trying to twist your frazzled mind this morning, it is all about as much bull as us leaving the EU, for the whole idea of having a Devizine award ceremony was based purely on a joke, a satirical stab at another local website’s frivolous awards. Then though, right, I find that I can add poll questions to an article, so I did, just for the hell of it, cos I could. Sorry, it won’t happen again.

So, thought I’d better post the results, without too much waffling; drum roll, or least foot-tap, please…..

Firstly, we asked you to vote for the Best Local Venue/Event Organiser:

The runners up: with 14% of the vote, The Southgate Devizes, and Sheer Music with 22%.

The Winner, with 32% of votes goes to The Devizes Scooter Club.

Yay, applause! All the best for 2019 to you all.

Our Best Local Female Solo Artist:

Runners up, with 6%, Lottie J, and with 24%, Kirsty Clinch.

And congratulations to winner, Tamsin Quin, who stole the show with a staggering 59%!

Congratulations girls, and wishing you all the best for 2019.

Now, the boys; Best Local Male Solo Artist:

Equally pipped, the runners-up both got 15% of the vote, and they’re none other than: Vince Bell and George Wilding.

The winner, with 38%, is Jamie R Hawkins.

Well done guys, congrats and all that, best wishes for 2019!

And the results for Best Local Band/Duo of 2018:

Runners-up, The Day Breakers, with 11% and The Reason, with 15%.

But the winner, with 40% of the vote, is: da-da-da-da-da….

People Like Us!

Well done to all, here’s wishing you a great new year too!

 
Finally, based purely on releases I’ve personally reviewed this year and not on votes, I’d like to announce two more awards, for best local album and EP of 2018. It wasn’t an easy decision, but:

THE BEST LOCAL ALBUM of 2018 can only be, in my opinion: Colour in the Sky by Jon Amor. Reviewed here.

THE BEST LOCAL EP of 2018, also in my humble opinion, has to be, unquestionably: Soul Sucker by The George Wilding Band. Reviewed here.

Right that’s that that’s all that then, you don’t want to be reading too much today, well done to all; I’m off to the visit the toaster, see if my stomach can accept solids again. Have a great new year’s day everyblobby, I lurve n wanna snog you all, no, really, I do, tongues an all; pass on my man-flu.

Adverts & That!

Blinkin’ awesome what you can find on YouTube innit? Section of a long-lost cassette beleaguered my mind, though I can’t find a clip the whole album is there, the part I wanted to draw attention to is approximately twenty-six minutes in. It’s a live recording of punk band, The Newtown Neurotics, where breaks are filled with poetry. This one in particular was an awakening in my affections for poetry, a far cry from the stigma enforced by school-teachers slamming a copy of Ted Hughes on your desk. It enlightened an adolescent me, poems can be current and topical, yet still stimulating, shocking, and poignant.

I wanted to mimic this purely punk-paste inclination at our birthday bash, when local poet Gail Foster offered to read some verses, for akin to this recording, Gail sparks a passion for wordsmanship within me, and casts away age-old stigmas. I’m glad to say it went down a treat. Besides, it’s good to befriend a local poet on social media, as insights of their inspiration; on Facebook one day she posted a rant about a stray Amazon package, and I thought, “there’ll be a verse about that by morning.” And there was!

Gail performs her poetry at open mic, on Fantasy Radio, and reading ‘Years of Hurt’ at a service in Salisbury Cathedral an acme. She also self-publishes; that is why we’re here today folks, cross-examining her shiny new anthology; Mischievous Spring. While it seems the traditional method of a book can be outdone by the speed and efficiency of posting on Facebook, I wanted to gauge her thoughts about social media as a platform, and ask her what method she favours.

 
“Facebook and performance,” she states, on one hand, “but not everyone does Facebook, post a poem and it is gone, put it in a book and it’s there for ever; I like books.”

 
“But I’m not up for sitting on my work and waiting months for someone else to publish it. Fuck that. Doing books is also a good way of cataloguing my work.”

Gail admits to a short attention span, “I write spontaneously, and then when I have written a lot, I put the good bits in a book. I like to write quickly to make room for the next inspiration.” Yet she concludes they’re equal pegging, “you’re asking me for one method of delivery I prefer to all others; there isn’t one.”

Rather similar is the content, Gail’s subjects and styles are varied, with the serious sides you expect of poetry; of autumn, of spiritual or natural elements, like snow, hedges, and of Orion, and dejected love. There are emotional annotations, “Years of Hurt,” as a great example, where a football fan takes anguish out on wife after a loss for his team. “Shall I Vote,” contemplates the sacrifice of suffrage against our taken-for-granted rights, and there’s a few astounding muses of war.

 
Breaching seriousness, looser, comical elements are plentiful too; humorous subjects as why Gail likes watching rugby, jarred prepubescent moods, haunting activities, like the 100-metre race at school. Snap, I’m earnestly relating. Arbitrary witticisms also stab your funny bone, of pot noodles, or pickled onion Monster Munch.

 
Politically standing left, the media assault on Corbyn is critiqued, a ridicule of fracking distressed, yet hilarious satirical attacks on Rees-Mogg, Tommy Robinson, and of course Trump, together with a perfect summary to the mess of Brexit, also make up the topical element. Yet no celebrity is taken prisoner; Garth Southgate, and oh, how unfortunate for Elton John. Peter Stringfellow though, meeting St Peter at the Pearly Gates is comic gold.

 
Gail serves her poetry with edge, and honesty; Steven Hawking not safe, adult-themes on why we drink too much, and she opens a world where Mrs Claus retorts to Santa that’s he’s a “bell end.” She flirts with her words, spares nothing to filth, rather playground amusement in articulate muse, revealing a fascination of going commando, as a running theme. “I’m not out to be controversial, or to upset people with the swearing,” Gail notes, “it just comes out like that sometimes. Plus, the more words the better for poetry. And a lot of things rhyme with ‘shit!’”

Yet while she swiftly moves through a huge range of genres and subjects, this book flows whereas her previous seem more randomly collected. There’re superstitions around number seven, which flows into a clock poem, and into one called “Moment.” Similarly, her affections for druid connections and Gorsedd drift to odes to poet bards, through winter solstice to spring. I pondered if the poems are chronologically placed, as each thought progresses to the next, or just carefully planned.

 
“That was the hardest part, the grouping,” Gail confessed. “Some clearly belonged together, others clearly didn’t belong together. The Gorsedd is chronological. A couple of chapters are alphabetical. There is a seasonal thing going on with the first chapter; that’s a bit vague, isn’t it?!”

 
Perhaps, but it’s a hefty volume, with variants; another reason for its value, there’s something for every mood on offer.

 
“’Ceres’ and ‘The Old Man and The Hill’ are very much beginning and end,” she continued, “seasonal verse are grouped together within chapters, Christmas, winter – Birds of a feather, loosely flocked together! The most difficult thing for me about this book was the combination of serious and spiritual rhymes with sweary, scatological rhymes. That’s part of the reason for the grouping and chapters.”

“One of my friends told me that the night her partner died she was reading him my poetry. Really lovely touching things like that happen sometimes.” Again, with all Gail’s work, binding the range is the underlying local theme, the feeling you’re never a million miles away from Gail, as she dedicates odes to friends well-known in the area, The Arts Festival, and Wiltshire Air Ambulance; the cherry on the cake to a wonderful collection of poetry. “You should be well-chuffed,” I add.

 
“I’m chuffed about the book, yes,” she replied, “but this time I have no illusions. It might do well, it might not. It is unlikely to make me rich, but then I don’t want to be rich. I’m very grateful to the people who take an interest in my work.” That is the usual labour of love, the bleeding heart of the artist which forces them to continue, and Gail has the bug.

 
This is a wonderful addition to Gail’s portfolio, progressive and entertaining. She finishes by contemplating, “I wish I had done this years ago. But I didn’t, and that is that.”

 
No matter, you’re here now, and Gail’s Mischievous Spring can be found at Devizes Books, and on Amazon.

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Another excellent Sunday afternoon session at the Southgate breezed through with the remarkable resonances of Cath and Gouldy, aka Sound Affects; I can see a Sunday pint down the little yellow painted house of music becoming a thing for me.

 
For if you haven’t motivated yourself out of the home for a Friday or Saturday evening, note The Southgate will still entertain you on the weekend’s finale. Not a great deal to say of this gig though, we’ve given a lot of coverage of Sound Affects and their group, The Day Breakers, yet it’s all fully deserved.

Always able to rouse a crowd of any proportion with just guitar, fiddle and charm, they rambled through their repertoire of classic uplifting, toe-tapping numbers; of retro pop, Irish folk and a small selection of their brilliant original tunes. They’ll try sell you a CD without any pressure, of which I’ve reviewed here, but if you’ve no, nay, never taken heed of previous recommendations about Sound Affects on Devizine, do look out for them in future.

Always a pleasure to hear you guys, and keep up the good work Deborah and Dave, guarding Southgate from a possible invasion of boring Sundays!

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Ha, and there’s me whinging I’m working right up to Christmas eve; I’d just like to say, Santa hats off to Deputy Coordinator Angie Carpenter and the volunteers at Devizes Opendoors, who will be holding their annual three-course Christmas feast at lunchtime on Christmas Eve at the St Johns Parish Rooms. They will however, also be open on Christmas morning, serving breakfast.

Anyone who is vulnerable or homeless are very welcome to attend. I’ve seen the great work this team do, when I last visited for an article. I saw the delight on a young lady’s face when she chose a new hat from the selection of donated clothes, I witnessed only gratitude and appreciation from the attendees of the centre, and felt a satisfied community spirit. There was surplus food to take and what didn’t get used was given to the Food Bank. There were showers, clothes and even advise and assistance on hand for those who needed it.

 
It’s an essential time of year when our homeless and people in sheltered accommodation need all the help they can get. It’s cold and miserable out there, guys and gals; stick your head out your window and have a look, imagine sleeping rough in that, and then I hope you’ll join me in wishing Devizes Opendoors a very merry Christmas and wish them well for the New Year, for all the amazing work they do.

Angie would also like to thank the local branches of Morrisons, M&S, and Lidl for their continued food donations. While we were chatting, I pitched the possibility of Devizine staging an event to raise some money for Opendoors, so watch this space.

Until I get around to sorting something out like this, don’t forget tonight The Invitation Theatre Company have their Christmas Concert at St Johns Church, at 7pm. It’s just £6 a ticket and all proceeds go to Opendoors.

And if you cannot make this, how about the “Christmas whodunnit,” Murder on The Polar Express, written and read by the ever-amusing Mr Ian Diddams at The Vaults Micropub, Devizes on Tuesday (18th) at 7pm. It’s free but donations are encouraged on the night, which will go towards Opendoors, so here’s your chance to give a small gift to this great charity. Not forgetting our regular contributor Andy Fawthrop, and local poet Gail Foster, who appeared at our birthday bash, will also be offering some “seasonally inappropriate poetry.”

To find out more about Devizes Opendoors click here!

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Ahead of Asa Murphy’s highly anticipated show, “Buddy Holly Lives,” coming to Devizes, I contemplate the fateful day Don McLean claimed “when music died,” and ask, can music really die?

Huddled under blankets with Dion, on their way to Mason City Municipal Airport, a twenty-two-year-old Charles Holley gazed through the bus window at the sub-zero February night, he was frustrated. He’d only agreed to do this “Winter Dance” tour because, bitter with his resignation, his ex-manager Norman Petty was withholding royalties; he was broke, and had a baby due.

The tour had been a disaster from the off, the heater on the tour bus kaput, leaving the musicians freezing. The drummer Carl Bunch already hospitalised from frostbite, Jiles Perry Jr, aka The Big Bopper had influenza which was spreading around the group, and Charles, who was known to the world as Buddy, was also concerned, due to an unofficial date at the Surf Ballroom in Clear Lake, that he had no clean suit for the next performance.

Surf Ballroom owner Carroll Anderson didn’t care, unwillingly agreeing to charter them a plane to avoid the 365-mile journey through towns they’d already played in, he did so, as cheaply as he could. It is said the young pilot Roger Peterson was both unlicensed to fly at night and unaware of the impending snowstorm.

 
Things must have been looking up for the three assigned seats on the plane; Buddy Holly, Richardson and Ritchie Valens, who’d won his seat with the flip of a coin. There was banter at the airport, Buddy kidding “I hope your ol’ bus freezes up!” was retorted with “well, I hope your ol’ plane crashes,” from bass player Waylon Jennings; a jest which would haunt him for the rest of his life.

The rest is history, Don McLean labelled it “the day that music died.” Yet rock n roll’s future was uncertain in any case. As well as this fatal accident, Elvis had joined the army, Jerry Lee Lewis was disgraced on a UK tour when his wife’s passport revealed her to be aged thirteen, likewise Chuck Berry was serving five years for sex with a fourteen-year-old Apache girl, and, irritated with the industry, Little Richard returned to recording gospel. Although the turn of the decade saw Eddie Cochran’s taxi crash near Chippenham, it proved music certainly hadn’t died; extraordinarily prolific, Buddy Holly left a huge back catalogue which would be post-humorously pressed, inspiring a new generation, especially in the UK.

 
Buddy Holly and his original band, The Crickets had toured the UK the previous year, 1958; closet gigs to us were the Gaumont Theatre in Salisbury, now the Oden Cinema, and the Colston Hall Bristol. These performances were surprisingly unfilled, rock n roll still in its infancy in Britain. It would be bands enthused by rock n roll who’d take it to new levels. Skiffle group, The Quarrymen made amateur recordings of “That’ll be the Day,” later changing their name to the Beatles, inspired by Buddy’s insect band name.

 
Arguably no Buddy, no Beatles, but here’s a tenacious link; no Buddy, no Devizine! My Mum, caught up in Beatlemania, looked to who they cited as their influence, and became a fan of Buddy three years after his death. She met my Dad at an evening class, jokingly recalling, “I only talked to him because he had Buddy-Holly glasses!”

 
I guess my parent’s love of rock n roll rubbed off on me; this maudlin tale, the circumstance Britain saw a gap in the market, repackaged the genre and sold it back to the USA fascinates me! Yet sixties music had to appear in an advert for jeans to be trendy in the eighties, so I did get laughed at for my T-shirt of the Buddy Holly Story Musical in 1989, but I didn’t care. It was the first time I’d been to a West End show, only enhancing my interest in my parent’s music, despite adopting the contemporary youth cultures and music.

 
Now though, we’ve come full circle; imagine my interest when I heard a popular Buddy Holly tribute show is coming to Devizes in April, with its own sad story behind it. Popular Liverpudlian swing singer Asa Murphy stars as Buddy in “Buddy Holly Lives,” a stage show which sold out the Epstein Theatre in Liverpool. Its very name suggests what I express here, the legend may have, but the music didn’t die.

I’d like to think there never was a day when music died; perhaps a few mortally wounded it, such as the day in January 1984 when Pete Waterman asked Mike Stock and Matt Aitken, to work with him at his production company. But music is surely immortal, you can’t kill music, not even if you chuck Britney Spears at it!

 
Anyway…. I digress; spoke to Asa about the forthcoming show, “is it a play about Buddy, or a concert of his music?” I asked.

 
“It’s a mixture of both, eighteen songs with actors as narrators telling the story of Buddy’s Career,” Asa explained, “and a live Band. It’s an interactive show with the audience dancing at the end!”

 
“Naturally,” I responded, “I’d expect nothing less!” But, has he played as Buddy Holly before?

“No,” he informed, “first time.” Of which I replied with “oh boy,” then apologised for my pitiable pun. Asa certainly looks and sounds the part, the show receiving astounding reviews in Liverpool.

 
Musician, producer and engineer at The Music Workshop, Peter Lamb has organised this exciting event, in celebration and memory of Bruce Hopkins, who sadly passed in November. Asa worked with Bruce back in June, when despite Bruce fighting an aggressive form of prostate cancer, they staged fundraising concerts at the Bear Hotel, for Prostate Cancer UK.

 
Previously the keen musician, retired businessman, founder of Devizes Fine Kitchens and former chairman of Devizes Football Club staged the Patney Picnic summer event in his family’s garden, and over the years raised about £30,000 for charity. Asa explained the importance of this event, “the show is touring the UK in 2019, I promised Bruce we would bring it to Devizes.”

Buddy Holly Lives will be at The Corn Exchange on Saturday April 6th, tickets are £20 and will be available from Devizes Books next week. “It’s in celebration of Bruce’s life and charity work,” Asa continued, “plus we will be making a donation to a charity of his family’s choice.” Which sentimentally strengthens our theory that, despite the sorrow of loss, there was never a day when “music died.”

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Hey you, just a quick one from me today; busy as a busy thing being busy. In some way or another I’ve reported on this piece of Christmas magic last year, more elaborately, but it’s worth mentioning again, each time Christmas comes around. For yet another year there is no need to be alone on Christmas Day in Devizes, thanks to Jeannette Von Berg, Pam Sloane, the team at Sheep Street Baptist Church and, not forgetting, the kindness of all who commented on Jeannette’s post on The Devizes Issue, offering donations and assistance.

 
It really is touching and in the spirit of the season that they provide a free three-course Christmas dinner from 1pm Christmas Day, where children are welcome and transport can be provided if required.

 
Maybe, being our little site is all about events, music and so forth, that this message will not reach many of those who need to read it, but nevertheless I’m putting this up so it reaches ones who may know of someone left alone. Please, if you do, pass it on, and let’s have a great Christmas for all. If you, or someone you know would like to go, or if you can offer your time to help in any way, telephone Pam Sloane on (01380) 720186 or 07941 161070.

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“If reggae was the universe, I swear we’d be living in the CMB Cold Spot, a Great Void between filaments.”

For a town of its size, Devizes has a vibrant music scene; you know this, I’ve bashed on about it enough already, and with Devizine we’ve explored the venues and promoters attempting to bring that scene diversity.

 
Mentioning no names, a Facebook post spurred a debate I followed with interest. A few months ago, a west country reggae singer argued reggae has no home in Wiltshire, he just never got bookings here. A promoter promptly replied, not for the want of trying, but in their experience, reggae simply doesn’t sell in Wiltshire.

Really? I played devil’s advocate, agreeably there’s a point; Wiltshire, largely rural and white middle-class doesn’t offer many reggae events at first glance. But whoa there, whoa; Wiltshire is home to Womad, a festival of world music; starter for ten. We also have, few though it seems, but we do have a scene with acts worth mentioning. I think, if you love a genre and dig deep enough, you’ll be able to find what you seek. I know many people in Wiltshire adore reggae, from dancehall to reggae predecessors, ska and rock steady, myself included. So why does it feel excluded, especially in our market towns?

 
I have no convincing argument for my attraction in Caribbean music, by crude urban definition, I’m not a “whigger,” no ambition to be one, not Rasta, and never been to Jamaica, much as I’d like to. What appeals to me is simply the off-beat, Fats Domino’s missing fourth beat which gives reggae that beguiling jump. Reggae is a musical Borg, resistance to skank is futile!

Growing up during the Two-Tone period obviously had a big effect, and reggae’s influence felt in other pop genres of my youth, through groups like the Police and Blondie. The Windrush generation blessed our shores with their homegrown music, and even though attractive it was to ongoing youth cultures, mods, punks and skinheads, it was still viewed as a novelty to English kids. It was the signing of Bob Marley and the Wailers by Chris Blackwell of Island Records which exported reggae outwards of Jamaica and spread it across the world.

England may’ve had the head start, but this happening woke America. Today reggae has reached every corner of the globe. If UNESCO’s announcement “the reggae music of Jamaica,” has been added to its list of cultural products considered worthy of recognition, just last month doesn’t convince you, there’s a remote part of The Grand Canyon where a Native American tribe called Havasupai believe Bob Marley to be the fulfilment of a prophecy, a deity and reincarnation of the resistance fighter Crazy Horse. They practically live according to his words, yet here in Devizes, England, its virtually impossible to find a venue with a reggae band booked, stretching to hear UB40 on a flipping jukebox!

 
Fully aware of the slim demographic in Devizes, couldn’t expect to replicate a Dub Club as Swindon does at the Afro-Caribbean Centre or Bath’s at St James Vaults, neither would I attempt a conversation about sleng-teng riddim, or define one drops into rockers and steppers; nothing technical here, just wish there could be a bit more reggae. I’m on a mission! And by the term “reggae” I cover all of its branches from ska and rock steady, through to roots and dub, and contemporary dancehall. A common misconception is to presume reggae as exclusively the roots style of latter-day Bob Marely, when it branches to as many, if not more, subgenres as rock.

 
So, where to start? Gutted to have missed the “scaled down” SN Dubstation at the Southgate last week, I’ve made a small dent in my mission by introducing Deborah, who is keen to host reggae and ska within her blossoming array of regular live music nights, to the one Knati P. We’ve featured Knati on Devizine before, as the fine artist Clifton Powell, so I’m glad to announce he’ll be at the Southgate on Christmas Eve for a sound system reggae party. It’ll hark back to the days when Knati held various reggae nights in venues from Pewsey to Calne, and at The Bell on the Green in Devizes… bomboclat, I’m back on fond memory lane again; it’s an age thing.

I also fully support the new owners of the Cavalier for having Swindon’s ska-punk band Operation 77 on their reopening night. Here’s to more of that, Those Roughcut Rebels will be down there on 21st December, which although play prodigious retro mod rock such as The Kinks and Who, it’s a step in the right direction. We’ve a bundle of great bands who’ll cover this, such as Cover-Up, and The Day Breakers, which appeases me, still need a little reggae though!

The Devizes Scooter Club successfully combines the scooter cultures of mod and skinhead, bringing us the variety of genres under this banner; retro mod rock, soul, and, of course, boss reggae and ska. They’ve given us some great nights, now parted local ska band The Killertones and Bad Manners tribute, Special Brew, being the highlight within my “reggae” banner, while other successful nights have been soul-based.

There is ska-aplenty at next July’s Scooter Rally, particularly looking forward to Essex band The Start and South Coast’s Orange Street. It is with great pride Devizes Scooter Club took heed of my suggestions and have booked Swindon bands, The Tribe, with their own unique spin, but especially the traditional rock steady outfit, The Erin Bardwell Collective.

 
Here we go then, I could produce a list of great local bands within our blanket, well worthy of booking, so promoters of market towns, book them and let’s spread our larger town’s and city’s diversity to rural Wiltshire, especially old Devizes, pleeeaaassee; don’t make me beg, it’s not pretty.

Aforementioned Erin Bardwell Collective, with Sandra Glindon’s smooth rock steady vocals and former Skanxters keyboardist Erin goes as red, for they’re, along with the brilliant SN Dubstation, the backbone of our nearest large town Swindon’s Great Western Reggae. If the Skanxters pushed Swindon’s two-tone scene way into the nineties, and occasionally reunite, covers band, The Skandals are also well worthy of a mention, being they boast Skanxter’s frontman Carl Humphreys and saxophonist Nina Gale. Erin also takes on ambient dub under the duo Subject A, with another Ex-Skanxter, Dean Sartain.

Still, even in Swindon, their Reggae Garden Festival at Old Gardens was cancelled this year without good reason.

Continuing on the ska tip though, we will always have Trowbridge and Melksham’s finest Train to Skaville, who since 2011 have built a tasty reputation, cramming pubs throughout the West Country. Along with vocalist Jules Morton’s contribution to charity fundraising, all-girl supergroup The Female of the Species, these guys need a gig in Devizes, and I’ll eat my trilby if it ain’t so.

All hail the Urban Lions, whose Facebook profile reveal “We are outernational,” they still provide the social network with a page called Wiltshire Music Network, so no use trying to hide it, this great, traditionally roots, dub reggae outfit could well be from our county. perhaps it’s our lack of reggae-cred which leads them to this secrecy? They may well hunt me down for revealing this, but if they come yielding their sublime reggae vibes I’m not about to worry!

 
Those crazy kids, Brother From Another define themselves as funk and soul function band, based in Wiltshire, available for parties, weddings & private events. Yet they’re not adverse to practise some reggae, and when they craftily and harmlessly “ignored do not enter signs and climbed on top of Silbury Hill to play…” the Gazette and Herald gladly defined them as “reggae.” For fuddy-duddies who’ll view this as promotional stunt as unacceptable, it’s another nail in the coffin for reggae’s acceptability around these parts; well done to the Tory rag for this. Yet Brother From Another makes a great booking, akin to Devizes All Funked Up, expect funky soul over reggae; great, yeah, love a bit of that in my eclectic tastes, still not reggae though, dread.

Naturally, those prepared to travel over the borderline, Bristol will provide you with reggae in abundance, from the Strictly Rockers retro fashion of Ya Freshness and the Big Boss Band to The Bristol Reggae Orchestra, a collective of 25 local musicians, drawing musical influences from reggae, ska, jazz and classical music. Those liberal Fromans also have it good, The Cheese & Grain hosting many a varied night, bought us Toots & The Maytals about as close to Wiltshire as you’re going to get. The other direction sees Oxfordshire’s 2Tone All Ska’s doing the two-tone cover scene. Still, as good as these elements are, reggae’s ley-lines across Wiltshire are still, more than a tad, void.

 
There is, surprisingly, a Facebook group called Reggae Wiltshire, albeit it only has 192 members. Perhaps, if you love reggae you can join this group, and liven’ up itself. It offers some great links to reggae tunes and facts, but lacks, unsurprisingly, in event details. Admin, Maurice Menghini does DJ current RnB with the reggae twist, and has hosted nights at The Exchange, but through no fault of its own, it defines my argument that Wiltshire doesn’t have enough reggae, and no, I’m not moving to Kingston before you reply with your sarcastic comment; I love Devizes for its aforementioned vibrant music scene, just wish someone would take heed of this article and show some One Love sunshine music to our dreary downs!

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Now science has proved every man is a rapist, and that any man so much as accidentally sneezing on a woman constitutes sexual harassment, I’m glad to read delicate philanthropists have found time between solving all the disturbing issues in the world to call for a ban on the Christmas song “It’s Cold Outside.”

We’ve all known the concept of the song advocates rape for some time, as, if the female character really wanted to be in the man’s apartment and sex was consented, she’d be enraged and screaming, “get off of me, you crazy bastard,” or words to that effect. Being no such words of distress or fear are uttered by the female character in the song is neither here nor there; liberal extremists, who taint everyday liberal’s name, have seen this as thoughtcrime and a thoughtcrime it clearly is.

The assumption she is somewhat nervous, has slim doubts about her 1940’s reputation, (something lost in today’s world) and the man is attempting to comfort her with terribly unconvincing excuses is pathetic and far from intended humorous prose. The implication he has topped her drink with a tipple of extra whiskey, as in a rather outdated joke, is plainly false. He has, in fact, slipped some Rohypnol into her glass and is about to brutally assault her, once the drug kicks in; that much is obvious.

So, in the manner of this shocking enlightenment, I thought I’d dive deeper into some other classic Christmas songs to see if there’s anything swaying far from political correctness in those too, and I think you’ll be surprised by the result. There is a world of filth, crime and insurgency projected in these songs and I, for one, will not stand idly by waiting for something appalling to occur as a result.

While some damaging associations are obvious; the Pouges and Kirsty McCoy’s Fairy-tale of New York referencing anal sex taken as red, (“Happy Christmas your arse, I pray God it’s our last,”) some are harder to spot but read between the lines and you will be shocked by the real meanings lurking behind a charade of Christmas cheer, perpetrated by disgusting, heathen musicians.

“Christmas time, Mistletoe and wine, Children singing Christian rhyme.” What does this suggest, for example? Mistletoe traditionally used for obtaining a kiss, a kiss being a precursor to sex, and Cliff starts bashing on about children. This has obvious connotations of child sexual abuse and needs to be banned straight away.

Take Mariah Carey singing “all I want for Christmas is you.” No matter how often she pesters me, I’m not going to cave into her demands and I don’t think you should either. People are not possessions, you can ask Santa for a Scalextric, a new bike, or even a Tamagotchi, but you shouldn’t ask for a person. What kind of message does this teach our children? It’s simple, Mariah is condoning human trafficking and therefore this song should also be banned.

In a world where children are inspired by all of the reindeers in Father Christmas’s fleet, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is not projecting a constructive sentiment, in fact it’s pure prejudice. Laughing and name-calling at others misfortunes is not how we’d favour to raise our children, so why accept this song?

Santa Claus is Coming to Town, deliberately labels children and sections them off unfairly. Not forgoing rural kids who don’t live in towns being exempt from Santa’s visit, it proceeds to suggest Santa has a list of who has been “naughty or nice.” How anyone could presume the role of judge and jury, without taking on board the child’s social and economic background, the influence of their peers and issues arising from the autistic spectrum is quite honestly beyond me. This song is simply derogatory and borderline fatal to a child’s welfare.

Dreams are based on events in real life, a confused amalgamation of thoughts and happenings throughout your day. Being there’s no one alive who recalls it ever snowing on Christmas day, Bing Crosby must’ve been referencing some other meaning of a White Christmas and it’s highly likely, given the notorious celebrity misuse of drugs that ol’ Bing was advocating the use of cocaine in his timeless Christmas classic.

Seems innocent Aled Jones isn’t so innocent either. Who has ever heard anyone else claim they’re “walking in the air,” who blatantly hasn’t been sniffing some illegal substance? Seems Aled’s been at Bing’s nosebag.

“Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas, Make the Yuletide gay…..” you see, here is everything wrong about Christmas songs, and quite often it’s these peculiar, liberal sexual practises which offends my delicate right-wing agenda. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire is a well-known ethanium for a sadomasochist fetishism, obviously. The Ronnette’s Sleigh Ride is blatantly a lesbian sexual position, and Noddy Holder thinks it’s perfectly acceptable to yell “it’s Christmas,” when antisocial behaviour such as shouting is unquestionably negative.

So come all ye faithful, placing a ban on these songs is overdue and needs to be addressed by our government straight away, in my opinion. Many other Christmas hits should’ve been analysed closer at the time, as nearly all have these derogatory or damaging connotations and require immediate sanctioning, except Shakin’ Stevens’ “Merry Christmas Everyone,” of which in its content I can find nothing of an offensive nature, yet still feel it should be banned anyway, because it’s shite.

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SANTA’S SLEIGH ROUTES: Here is the latest, updated list of dates and routes of LIONS CLUB OF DEVIZES – SANTA ON TOUR 2018; Look out for him around your way!

 
Saturday 1st December Salisbury St (Avon Road end), Mayenne Place, Dundas Close, Caen Hill Gardens, Avon Road, Park View.

 
Monday 3rd December Bellevue Road, Waiblingen Way, Avon Terrace, Rotherstone Commercial Road, Victoria Road.

 
Tuesday 4th December Marlborough Close, Wellington Drive, Ernle Drive, Gandy Way, Nash Meadow, Corn Croft Lane, Leigh Wood Lane and cul-de-sacs off, Ferozeshah Road and cul-de-sacs off.

 
Wednesday 5th December Horton Av, Davies Drive & all cul de sacs, Anzio Road and all cul de sacs, Naughton Av, Marina Close, Wyvern Cl, Hopgood Cl, Waterside Park, Canal Way, Cygnet Close, Kingfisher Drive, Hillier Road cul-de-sacs.

 
Thursday 6th December Quakers Road, Keepers Road, Palmer Road, Coopers Road, Golden Road, Roundway Park, Parkfield, Flaxmill Park, Moonrakers.

 
Friday 7th December Coombe Walk, White Horse Way, Harebell Way & cul-de-sacs off, Torino Close, Proudman Road, Matilda Way, Maud Close & Charter Close.

 
Saturday 8th December Stockwell Road, Brickham Road, Spitalcroft Road, Meadow Drive, Dowse Road, Wadworth Road.

 
Monday 10th December Kemp Close, Elizabeth Drive and cul-de-sacs, Oamaru Way and all roads off, The Patchway and cul-de-sacs off.

 
Tuesday 11thth December Wick Lane, Wickfield, Orchard Close, Tintern Road, Downlands Road, Woodland Way, Fruitfields Close.

 
Wednesday 12th December Longcroft Avenue, Brickley Lane (Meadow Drive to Eastleigh Road), Eastleigh Road , Pines Road, Forty Acres Road, Kingsley Road & Gardens, Roseland Avenue, Longcroft Road, Bricksteed Avenue.

 
Thursday 13th December Hillworth Road, West View Cres, John Rennie Close, Adlam Close, Pinetum Close, The Moorlands, Cornwall Cresc, Hartmoor Road to Queens Road, Queens Road.

 
Friday 14th December Pans Lane, Sarum Drive, Festival Close, Walden Lodge Close, Green Lane, Greenfield Road, Lawrence Close, Addington Close, Mill Close and Kempsfield.

 
Saturday 15th December Lidl supermarket.

 
Monday 17th December Marshall Road, Reeves Road, Ferguson Road, Byron Road and cul de sacs off, Thomas Wyatt Road & cul de sacs, Awdrey Road, Eyles Road, Newman Road.

 
Tuesday 18th December Chivers Road and all roads off, Alan Cobham Road and all roads off, Teasel Close.

 
Wednesday 19th December Brickley Lane from Eastleigh Road, Cromwell Road, Waylands, Shackleton Road, Elm Tree Close, Elm Tree Gardens, Nursteed Close, Gables Close, Caird Lawns, Nursteed Park, Eastleigh Road from Nursteed Road to Eastleigh Close.

 
Thursday 20th December ( Brittox during daytime) The Breach, Broadleas Crescent, Broadleas Close, Broadleas Park, Broadleas Road.

 
Saturday 22nd December Morrisons

Oh bugger, it’s December, again. Tis the season to be…. yeah, yeah, not yet eh? I’m just not feeling all tinselly at the moment, you? I’ll try, really, I will…… After Devizes had a great light switch on last night, I suppose I should get things rolling; here’s some stocking fillers for your diary, yet only a selection of what’s to be doing this month. Check Devizine regularly for updates, as and when they come in, unless you wanna be left in the dark, on your lonesome, crying into your eggnog. Oh yeah, local New Year’s Eve events are listed here, so plan your diary with us!

So, trigger-happy fingers resting on the house lights, waiting to outdo the neighbour? Ready to slain other shoppers for a Fingerlings Dino? If your feeling festive already, on Saturday 1st: It’s Melksham’s turn to switch on their lights, and after I’d recommend you go see Big Mama and her Banned at the Pilot.

It’s Free Entry for a Wiltshire Air Ambulance fundraiser at the Cross Keys, Rowde with Cover-Up, the new name for great local band, Eazilyled. Or if you fancy a reggae intro to the season, a pared down version of Swindon’s finest, SN Dubstation, Little & Large are at The Southgate, Devizes. There’s Chicken Teddys at The Crown Devizes, who’d I’d have thought could’ve changed their name to Turkey Teddys just for this month, you know, might motivate me into the spirit of things!

Lucky for Calne, they got George Wilding at the London Road Inn, or I’d admit the Aldbourne Oompah Loompahz Band at The Blue Boar sounds fun and Christmassy. Trowbridge have a great line-up at the Pump, in aid of Dorothy House with the Stonegallows, Steam Shed and Bryony McGinty.

SANTA’S SLEIGH ROUTES: Here is the latest, updated list of dates and routes of LIONS CLUB OF DEVIZES – SANTA ON TOUR 2018; Look out for him around your way!

Daytime Sunday the 2nd sees a Santa Fun Run in aid of Wiltshire Air Ambulance at Lydiard Park, and a Country Music Showcase at H2O Swindon, with Rick Jordan, Will Brown, Jamie R Hawkins, Josh Beddis & Mike McCoy.

Closer to home, why not pop in to the Ann Swan Studios in Rowde? The astounding botanical artist has a Christmas Shopping Day. Continuing on the art theme, the wonderful landscape artist Bryony Cox starts her exhibit at the Vaults in Devizes. It runs until 16th.

 
Wed 5th – 7th West Lavington Village Hall have Wreath Making workshops. The Bootleg Beatles are at Bath Forum, but if staying in Devizes it’s got to be the regular Acoustic Jam Night at The Southgate.

Thurs 6th: A real UK comedy circuit favourite for over 20 years, Pierre Hollins is headlining the Moonrakers Comedy Club at The Cellar Bar, Devizes. He’s supported the likes of Lenny Henry and Rory Bremner. Dripping with sarcasm and dry wit, Andy Gleeks from Northern Ireland by way of Buckinghamshire, supports and Ed Parnell is the master of ceremonies. Tickets £10 from: The Bear Hotel, Devizes Books, The British Lion, The Southgate Inn, The Vaults, and on-line at We Got Tickets.

Meanwhile, after 39 years and still counting, The Blues Band take the Melksham Assembly Hall.

Friday 7th: Both Southbroom St James Academy and Nursteed School have their Christmas Fayres. It’s the Wharf Theatre’s opening night of the amusing-sounding pantomime whodunnit, Kidnap in Pantoland, which runs till 15th December.

Great local band, Nightlights play the Southgate, while a Kasabian Tribute, Kazabian play the Melksham Assembly Hall. But yes, they’ve topped it at Neeld in Chippenham, where Dreadzone will be live, unless you fancy some Bad Manners, who are at Salisbury City Hall. For a cheaper night though, I’d recommend The Three Horseshoes at Bradford On Avon, who have those outrageous Boothill All-Stars.

On Saturday 8th Easterton raise funds for their Village Hall with a “Christmas Mingle & Jingle,” with It’s Complicated and Kirsty Clinch. The Worton & Marston Village Hall have a Christmas Bazaar (more info call: 726 658,) and it’s The Finlay Foundation’s Christmas Craft & Gift Fair at Corn Exchange, Devizes.

Now, musically, spoiled for choice in Vizes: The Southgate Inn have Liz ‘n’ Stix, while The Black Swan has Fraser Tilley and Vince Bell. That said, it’s Sheer Music’s Sensational return to Devizes at The Cellar Bar, with Sam Russo and Jamie R Hawkins.

If you thought he’d be busy, you’re mistaken; there will be a visit from Father Christmas at The Bear Hotel on Sunday 9th. Breakfast or afternoon tea with ol’ Santa, with festive activities, delicious food, story time and a gift, all for £17.50. Booking is essential.

 
It’s Complicated again, this time down The Southgate, or The Ultimate Garth Brooks Experience at Devizes Ameripolitan Music Club. Melksham Assembly Hall go “Through the Decades” with Buddy Holly & Roy Orbison. And an Open Jam Session at The Jenny Wren, Calne polishes the weekend off.

Wednesday 12th Sheer Music Presents Undead Raisins at the Vic, Swindon. But you can always rely on The Southgate if stuck in Devizes, for another acoustic jam night.

 
The Vaults have a Devizes Festive Food Night on Thurs 13th. £20 will get you a Christmas share platter to start; Devil on horseback, Pigs in blanket, Leek and stilton tartlet with walnuts. Roulade of Parma ham with roasted red peppers on Bruschetta, Orange and spice chicken skewers. Main meal is venison and berries, cooked with Stealth Brew Co beer, of course Malcom, of course. Served with dumplings, creamed dauphinois potatoes and winter veg. with a selection of hearty bread, vegetarian and vegan options available, price including a pint of cask beer, a small glass of wine, gin & tonic, or soft drink, and mincemeat tart served with Chantilly cream for pudding at a snippet of £2.00.

Unusually quiet on Friday’s in Devizes, yet the 14th we hear Sound Affects will be at The Lamb, and the Roughcut Rebels at the Southgate. Up the 80s Christmas Party at Melksham Assembly Hall, 2 Tone All-Ska’s at Level III and a Swindon Dub Club Christmas special at the Afro Caribbean Centre. Dreamwave @ 3 Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon, Big Mama’s Banned Live @ Hare & Hounds Corsham.

 
Saturday 15th, ooh, he’s making his list, checking it twice. Father Christmas will be at The Market Lavington Village Hall, as from 10:30 – 11:30 there’s a Christmas Crafts party for children. £6 per child, in aid of Muscular Dystrophy UK.

Panto alert, it’s behind you: The Shoebox Theatre, Swindon, start production of The Elves and the Shoemaker, which runs until 23rd. Meanwhile, the Invitation Theatre Company have an Annual Christmas Concert at St Johns Church, Devizes. The Downtown Daddyo’s rock the Melksham Rock ‘n’ Roll Club, Scratchy Black Cat are at The Southgate Inn.

The Blunders are 3 Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon. There’s comedy with Gary Delaney’s Gagster’s Paradise at the Neeld, Chippenham.

 
Sun 16th: The Day Breakers play the Southgate, Cantaloop play 3 Horseshoes, Bradford on Avon, and it’s the last ever gig, apparently, for 2 Sick Monkeys at Level III Swindon.

Tuesday 18th: be at The Vaults, Devizes, where Ian Diddams reads his Christmas whodunnit, Murder on The Polar Express. With Devizine guest writers, Andy Fawthrop and Gail Foster offering seasonally inappropriate poetry. Donations on the night which will go towards Devizes Opendoors.

 
Wednesday 19th: White Horse Opera’s Christmas Concert in St John’s Church, will be an evening of stunning music in a gorgeous setting, with Mulled wine, mince pies and a chance to sing along to your favourite carols. Tickets from Devizes Books or http://www.ticketsource.co.uk/whitehorseopera

Thursday 20th and Friday 21st is Melksham Assembly Hall’s Christmas Pantomime, Cinderella, by Daisy Chain Productions. 2:30pm and 7:30pm. Child £5, Adult £10, Family Ticket (Admits 4) £25. Available from Melksham Assembly Hall (01225 709887), Melksham TIC or online.

 
Saturday 22nd is Yule ~ Fire Dragon Ceremony around the stones of Avebury. The Long Street Blues Club, Devizes Remember Joe Cocker, the Rockin’ Bandits are at The Southgate and People Like Us are “getting ready for Xmas” at The Three Crowns. But whoa there, Mike Barham’s DEVMAS! is at The Cellar Bar, FREE Entry, featuring: The Compact Pussycat, Sunset Service, The Real Cheesmakers, and Nerve Endings. All for Julia’s House.

On Sunday 23rd there’s Devizes Family Club’s Children’s Christmas Disco at The Devizes Cons Club, in association with Vinyl Realm. 7:30-9:30, £3 in aid of the Devizes Opportunity Centre. Helena at The Southgate.

Christmas Eve is a Monday then? Who knew? Kept that one quiet, didn’t you? Typical.

 
Keep the kids active, there’s a football fun day for ages 5-16 years with Inclusion Coaching. 10-2pm at Green Lane Playing Fields Devizes: exclusive MATCH ATTAX Football Festival! A present for all! Nonstop football! Just £18!

If you’re exhausted just thinking about that, adults could wander down the Southgate, where rumour has it, there’ll be some reggae, compliments of mi bredrin, Knatti P.
Then, well, Santa comes, if you’ve been good; make your own entertainment, all is quiet, save for the sound of scrabble tiles and Grandad snoring on the sofa still wearing his cracker hat. Then another big riot, with Mick Jogger and the Stones Experience at Market Lavington Music & Comedy Club on Friday 28th.

 
Saturday 29th, when you can still taste the cold turkey sandwiches, Larkin have their EP launch party; not to be missed Larkin fans, you’ll get a copy of the EP to take home with you, all for £3. More details here, when we reviewed the EP.

I’ve also got Carpet, plus The Hound on the Mountain listed at The Southgate, Devizes; they never stop providing great music, do they?! I expect they’ve got a new year line-up too? Oh yes, indeedy.

So, we’ve finally got here: NEW YEARS EVE 2018/19!!

 
Yes so, they’ve a party, with Jamie Hawkins & Phil Cooper: NYE 2018 at The Southgate, while Larkin are at The Moonrakers and Sugar Motown is at The Three Crowns. There’s New Year’s Eve at Bromham Social Centre, with Forklift Truck and a disco. But, but, but, Craig Charles Funk and Soul NYE is happening again at Meca, in Swindon, get tickets like yesterday for that one. Staying in town though, the Devizes Scooter Club New Year’s Eve Party is going to be a blinder, with DJ Des, covering music from 1960’s to present Day, Tickets £12 from the Cons Club or the scooter club.

That’s that which is that then, 2018 at its very end, bring on 2019. If I missed your event out, that is, and I’ve said this before, but no one listens, you didn’t tell me about it! I will update this later in the month, so ping those events at me, it’s okay, I probably won’t come and spoil it for you, don’t worry! But if you don’t tell me, don’t moan at me that I missed it. You’d be surprised by the amount of times this actually happens; bar humbug!

Also, I can’t be adding links to all these events on one article, what do you think I ain’t got something else to be doing? You can find more info on the all, on our Calendar, so go there, with bells on.

Adverts & That

As festive season reaches fever pitch on Saturday 22nd December, The Cellar Bar @ The Bear Hotel in Devizes will host a Christmas bash like no other. Four bands, terrible compulsory jumpers, and more festivity than you can shake an elf at.

 
the quadruple of bands, The Compact Pussycat, Nerve Endings, Sunset Service and The Real Cheesemakers will entertain you from 7pm, and donations will be taken for Julia’s House Hospice as an Xmas gift from Wiltshire’s music scene.

DevMas (a brand-new term combined from the ancient Wiltshire slang “Devvie Town” and…. well, Christmas, of course…) will take-over The Cellar Bar beneath Devizes’ iconic Bear Hotel on the final Saturday before Christmas, giving weary shoppers and the hardcore party seekers that final chance to get themselves their exciting musical fix before being buried in wrapping paper and left-over vegetables!

 
Co-organiser, who we know very well, Mr Mike Barham, vocalist and guitarist in Devizes rock group Nerve Endings, explained the inception of the one-off event as “initially just a group of friends wanting to put on a Christmas show, but it became much more than that! Our group had their debut at The Southgate during October and weren’t planning on doing any more shows this year, rather focus on recording and writing to get things rolling properly.”

“Then we decided it was so close to Christmas, and Wiltshire has such a ridiculous variety and scope to its music scene, that we wanted to celebrate that and the people who make it possible with their support and generosity. So, the best way we could think of to say thank you was with a free entry show on the last Saturday before the big festive day!”

 
“It’s an opportunity for everyone that supports those first musical steps, share our stories and passion with others, to be in one place and share the festive spirit whilst being bombarded by new material from four bands who all bring their own unique flavour to the Christmas table!”

 
“Also, it’s a chance to celebrate The Cellar Bar, which has long stood as one of our stand-out venues in Devizes. So many incredible acts have graced this venue, and it remains almost like a bastion of musical endeavour. It’s charming, intimate and a great spot to grow talent in this little town, so to me it was the ideal place to have this event.”

 
“AND it means we can give back to the community by raising money for Julia’s House, who do incredible work at their new Devizes hospice site. Aside from the religious connections, Christmas should be about embracing those around you, whether that’s in the community or those in need, so we are trying to do both. It may just be a gesture, but if we can raise a smile on kids face at Julia’s House over Christmas, it’s worth all the battering of ear drums and tired limbs of our acts!”

Luke Bartels, who operates the Cellar Bar on behalf of Wadworth Brewery, said: “Using the Cellar Bar to its full potential is a dream of mine. When my family was asked to take on the Bear Hotel, we came to look at the space and immediately I knew it had potential.”

 
“It’s like The Cavern or some of the other iconic small venues round the country, and having a showcase of the local talent on show here for Christmas is the best way to give back and let everyone know the space is here to be used and harbour all the developing talent in the area. It’s a cradle of life for music!”

Julia’s House is an award-winning children’s hospice in Dorset and Wiltshire, dedicated to bringing comfort and care to families across the two counties. Each family they support is unique and so is the care they provide. When a family finds out that their child has a very serious medical condition, which is life-limiting or life-threatening, their world falls apart. Julia’s House exists to help these children and their families, with practical and emotional support, tailoring their care to the needs of each individual child and their family.

 
The new respite centre in Devizes has been warmly received by the local community, and DevMas hopes to add to that local support from the musical community that is so prevalent in the small Wiltshire town.

So, the bands: The Compact Pussycat, who have taken the Wiltshire scene by storm since their debut earlier in 2018, and expanded like a funky, fuzzy rash across the South West within a few months. Now rocking as a tight, dancy three piece these dashing young men will be firing out brand new tracks guaranteed to have you tapping your feet (other involuntary body motions are available) throughout the evening.

The Real Cheesemakers almost need no introduction in certain circles, their hilarious yet pulsating tunes have seen them team up with legendary Chap-Hop star Professor Elemental and build an avid local following of cheesy fans. The self-proclaimed, “purveyors of the finest nonsense and Wallop of Cods in a musical format,” these fine fellows will deliver tales of epic squid vs whale battles, plastic free living and the odd reference to dairy products that rhyme with “tea”. These chaps bring the mirth factor to DevMas Day.

Sunset Service are a cut above your average alt-country rock band, in fact they are one of the finest groups in their field. The five-piece from across the south west have been churning out their charming yet chunky sound across the area and are now coming home for Christmas (take that Chris Rea!) Amidst the other chaotic and comedic elements of the other groups on the bill, Sunset Service may actually be the most mature and refined act of the night!

Nerve Endings are a three-piece rock outfit from Devizes, newly formed and hurled into the crucible of live performance in early October to thunderous reception. Drawing influences from Biffy Clyro, Rage Against the Machine, Father John Misty and many other diverse sources, these three-combine swaying, anthemic sections with all out aural warfare to hammer home their sound.

 
Yet if you’ve been reading Devizine biblically, which I know you do, you’d have heard of all these great acts already and have to agree prior to basting the turkey, it’s something pretty cool to be doing during yule. You don’t even have to write it on your list to Santa, because entry to this gig is FREE!

Adverts & That

Did you know Wiltshire boasts the UK’s only female Beatles tribute? Couldn’t let this be, so had a chat with manager Roger, so far failed to hold the ladies’ hands though!

Royal Wootton Bassett musician, Roger Mepstead promotes tribute acts. In the past we’ve mentioned Olya & The Bond Girls, and we love Sophia Bovell as Sugar Motown, also on the books are the Abbaholics, Dire Straits tribute The Sultans of Swing and a Carpenters one too. But I’m here to mention to The Beatelles, an all-female Beatles tribute act, because it certainly defines Roger’s ethos of creating tributes with a difference and here’s a quirky group of ladies having a whole lot of fun.

 
“They love every minute of it,” Roger confirmed, “strange thing is that they sing them all in the original key of each song.”

 
“Surely that’s not “strange;” that’s a good thing?!” I responded.

 
Roger chuckled, “I meant the Beatles sang rather high!”

The Facebook page for Beatelles boasts they’re the only female Beatles tribute in the UK; story checks out with some Google action, despite others elsewhere. “there’s one in Belgium and one in New York,” Roger clarified, though they hardly look old enough to have witness Beatlemania first hand. I wonder if the Beatelles did, but I’m too much of a gent to ask a lady’s age!

 
Jane, Carolyn, Trudie, Linda and Sara cover the Beatles catalogue over the era’s changes with sass, comical charm, but talented precision too. “Between two sets,” Roger explained, “we’ve split the songs between performance songs, first half, and studio songs second half. If you remember, they stopped performing because they couldn’t hear themselves play; screaming girls, etc.” Blinking cheek I reckon, sorry but I don’t remember, but my mum would; she was one of the screaming girls!

As our debate for the worth of the tribute act continues, I reckon adding twists (and shouts…sorry!) like this are idiosyncratic, and fun; I love, love them do! You can catch the girls at the Phoenix Bar in Wotton Bassett on the 30th November.

The Beatelles website

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With Sheer Music returning to Devizes on 8th December at the Cellar Bar with Sam Russo and support by Jamie R Hawkins, I hassle creator Kieran J Moore for a quick chat about Sheer Music’s history.

A lone drunken straggler wandered into our ring of barely free-standing friends amidst the temporary city of tents which was a Glastonbury of yore. We welcomed him, he stayed chatting garbage for the remainder of the night until the point he passed his contempt for “ravers.” My friend Steve leaned into him and informed, “but mate, we are ravers.”

 
Oblivious to our attire, that which could’ve been described as “crusty raver,” the rave music playing on an old beatbox, and our constant consumption of “rave accessories,” he looked somewhat perplexed, “are you?!” We confirmed verbally, being visual aids escaped him and he nodded, bided us a good morning and got a shift on. This vague occurrence always tickles me, that, post Madchester and prior to the re-crossover bands, there was a youth culture clash between “rave” and “indie.”

 
Never violent like mods and rockers, just separate scenes where never the twain would meet; ravers too consumed in their own gathering to even recognise indie as a “thing.” Indie kids had a blossoming following with discontent to faceless electronic bleeps, which, looking back I can appreciate.

 
It’s a running joke I share with Kieran J Moore, the creator of Sheer Music, as I label his nights, “indie,” because, well, because I’m old, I guess, and I’m using the term in an archaic fashion, unsure if it’s obsolete. For what begun as a term for songs from independent record labels, transformed into a genre, a precursor to Britpop, in which the music industry were only to keen to commercialise, as they did with ever other youth culture. But, would Kieran describe his events as indie?

 
“Indie as independent,” he confirms, “but not just Oasis-style bands. We were never really that. Locally we were driven by the local support bands, and nationally, by what we were offered.” And long had it thrived at the Fold in the Lamb, now reaching beyond Devizes and into Trowbridge and Swindon, where Kieran has been concentrating his efforts recently.

Okay; let’s get my facts straight, I asked him if,  “Sheer started off at gigs in the Fold and how long ago that was.”

 
“Sheer started at the Devizes football club in 2004,” Kieran corrects me, “we hired the room, and paid a damage deposit, which we lost, after the then Chairman’s son broke the mirror in the gents. However, 300 people turned up, and I knew I was on to something.”

Can he remember who played? Of course, “The Septiks, Minion Race and Quarterblind. We then moved to The Cavalier, followed by Bell by The Green, where we did a majority of our shows in town. When Paul left The Bell, we moved to the Lamb, under previous owner, Ailsa. Then Sally came along and gave the venue a face-lift and I gave it a permanent PA.”

 
Thus, the Fold was born, “it was what the Lamb needed,” I note, my favourite watering-hole, “I recollect a few bands in the bar before that, but not often.” In between times, Kieran hosted Battle of the bands for Devizes Arts Festival, and joined their committee in 2006. But around that time, he began promoting further afield, at Moles and in Swindon, with the occasional foray in Salisbury.

Today Sheer Music and it’s self-titled community of local musicians, the GigFam,   promotes prolifically across the county; Swindon’s Victoria and Level III, Trowbridge’s Town Hall Arts and Village Pump, Komedia in Bath proving popular venues. “We’ve done nigh on 400 gigs in Wiltshire in 15 years,” Kieran proudly tells me.

“Biggest names” I inquire, “in a nutshell?!”

 
“Frank Turner, Vaccines and The Foals,” he replied.

So, is Sheer striding back into Devizes like a hungry cowboy runaway, I jest to him! “Well, I never went away… I just had my gigs cancelled. So wasn’t through a lack of trying.” Water under the bridge, it’s great to hear about the return of Sheer Music, “has been a while?”

 
“August, wasn’t it?” Kieran replied. I don’t know, what do I look like, a what’s-on website?! Nevertheless, for a fiver it’s a Christmas warm-up party, set for The Cellar Bar on Saturday December the 8th, when renowned Haverhill singer-songwriter and novelist, Sam Russo appears with an acoustic set.

 
“Sam Russo will be known to many Frank Turner fans, from his support slots over the years,” Kieran explains, “or his critically acclaimed album Storm, released on Specialist Subject Records. Sheer teamer, Dan Buckingham put me on to him awhile back, with the awesome song, Crayfish Tails and I was hooked.”

Support for the show comes from Devizes hero, Jamie R Hawkins; nuff said.

http://www.sheermusic.co.uk/
Facebook Event Info.

Adverts and That

Easter in Christmasterton…. No, hold on, I meant Christmas in Easterton; it’s not complicated, yet, in a way, it is. Have I lost you with the first sentence? It’s okay, I’ll be brief and let you get on with your tea.

 
The sleepy village of Easterton, squashed between Lavington and Urchfont are to get an awakening when accomplished Devizes four-piece band, It’s Complicated arrive on December 8th for a night of festive fun, in aid of making vital improvements to the Village Hall, at the erm, well, the Village Hall itself!

On departing popular function band, Friday Feeling, drummer and vocalist Tim Watts, vocalist and keyboardist Jacqueline Sherlock, and guitarist Tom Evans, formed It’s Complicated in 2017 in a bid to experiment with a more unique approach to classic pop songs. With a diverse repertoire ranging from Led Zeppelin to Michael Jackson, and bass player, Stephen Barron added to the trio, they’ve come along way in a just a couple of short years and have now begun writing their own original material, which has been well received live and on radio plays. Backing Tamsin Quin on her album launch at the Cellar Bar, appearing at Farringdon’s FollyFest, as well as gigs at the Southgate and The Royal Oak in Easterton, it’s hardly complicated at all; they’re one to watch.

Tickets are £15, includes a tasty supper, and can be purchased in advance by calling Moira on 01380 818094 or David on 01380 812527, who promise to “mingle &jingle in style!”

But whoa, hold on to your tinsel, if you wanted a little extra in the stocking, expect tiny package of wonderful, Kirsty Clinch to also perform. Princess of YouTube, Kirsty picked up a guitar aged seven and begged her mum for singing lessons. Now a twenty-something with an inimitable angle on country rock, acoustic and pop, her natural ability to entertain will beam a glittery sprinkle to this already exciting function; that I guarantee!

Facebook Event Page

Adverts and That

Gil Scott-Heron chanted “the revolution will not be televised,” bloody right too, it’ll all be on Facebook no doubt. Videos captioned “what the BBC aren’t showing us,” go viral, even if it’s a link to a BBC video. I should stick to posting my all-time favourite album covers and annoying others by nominating them to do likewise. C’mon it’ll be fun, oh yeah, and China are committing mass genocide BTW, or is that just Western propaganda? No one knows for sure, The Beano being the only trustworthy journal. Still, I like “Dare” by the Human League, how about you? Yesh, u too? First world problem vacuumed.

 
If you get a friend request from me, don’t accept; no scam, I’m just unfriendly, apparently. Selfish, some say; just doing my job, lady. It’s a sign of the times.

 
Is there an app to tell us we live in a false economy of unachievable dreams and aspirations? Or should it be just common bleeding sense? They never even put a warning label on the country, something to consider at least? Warning: Ticking Timebomb, do not touch.

 
While our leaders guide us down this ever-decreasing circle of doom, we seem to either accept it blindly like it was a Facebook friend request from a Natalie Portman look-alike after no strings fun, as we joyfully click on her outside link, or else we shake our snowflake heads and share an opposing thread; look at the glorious JC’S charity shop sandals; sure someone will assume he’s being antipatriotic wearing those, while okaying Theresa, as she shows off the diamonds on the souls of her shoes, got a poppy on though. To organise a protest is to promote it on Facebook anyway, hmm; click “interested” to show you’re against the regime, but to start painting a placard is a step too far.

 
Soz, didn’t respond to your revolt event Watt Tyler, I dunno why, but my phone was on airplane mode; the chance of me being able to afford the petrol to make it to a fucking airport is slim, let alone go anywhere on one. Universal Credit, what’s universal about it other than we all go hungry?

 
We’ve succumbed if we wanted to or not, sterling crashing on the stock market and prices for basics going through the roof doesn’t seem to put people off the idea of barricading ourselves in, provided we get our country back so Tommy Robinson and his mates can spurt racist bullshit without fear of persecution, so we can take our borders back, and other bookshops too, and we will build Auschwitz on England’s green and pleasant land. Oh, quit nit-picking, you silly re-moaner; don’t you care about Britain? No, course not, that’s why we moan, dipshit.

Brexit had a point worthy of discussing in my opinion, but caging ourselves in with ferocious, selfish beasts wasn’t part of it, do I look like Steve Irwin? The NHS will be a fleeting illusion by the time they’ve savaged us and we need more than a plaster. Young conservatives got pissed at your expense last month and scrawled their intentions for our health service on their shirts, and we ignored it, else think oh, that’s disgraceful, but only get as far as sharing on our fucking Facebook page; come the revolution and I might add it to Instagram too, amidst pouting teenage girl selfies with nothing better to do, cos there is nothing better to do.

No point hiding the fact May was laughing in our reedy, sore faces; she’s fucking dancing the dancing queen; young and sweet, I ask you? That’s wasn’t a dance, it was a gloat; one step away from opening the palm of her hand revealing grain for us to squabble over the spoils, while she jangles her jewellery like Jimmy Saville entering Broadmoor; he was a Tory, wasn’t he? She’s no Beyoncé, it’s going to bite her in her shakin’ booty very soon, her screw-loose cabinet looking more like MFI than Harrods, may as well stuff our opinions on Brexit, throw away this divide and rule trap, unite and get these bastards off their seats.

 
How far can the pompous English be pushed? If this was another country, another era, there’d be a civil uprising.

 
Every move she attempts to bust I shudder another foreign nurse or doctor is packing up and heading for the Chunnel; can you blame them? The only Doctor left will be our liberal incarnation of Dr Who, and come March 2019 and she’ll probably be cited as an ex-Russian spy who mysteriously kicked the bucket from a bottle of Odour le Novichok. BBC act all leftie for entertainment but it’s an Orwellian future with Newsnight; England will prevail.

 
Got to get a Russian nerve agent in your town just to be able to park for free.
Ha, and if you thought I’d stopped the No Surprises column, there’s a surprise for you; it’s been stuck at the traffic lights in Tory heaven. Maybe this column has nicotine in it, I’m trying to give it up, but on a bad day, just gotta write a whinge for you to laugh at; go on, giggle at my anger, sadists. Chuckle at my anguish, titter at my troubles, nobody gives a toss anymore; back to square one. I’ll be honest, it’s the closure of this column, as it’s supposed to be satire and nothing is fucking funny anymore.

 
Life is getting so hard even stinging nettles deliberately grow where there’s no doc leaves.

 
We don’t need another rant, another sarcastic bastard. We made more of a fuss because roadworks made us ten minutes late then we did when Wiltshire Council threatened to close our education facilities. I observed the posts, shouting, swearing and blaming Amanda Attwood, as if she’s the high priest of all matters Devizes infrastructure. She kicked you off, nobody’s fault but yours, toys too pricey to throw out of prams these days.
So, you take to the multitude of other local Facebook groups to shout and curse her name, as if your world has crumbled around you. As if you’ve some God given right to hurl abuse at people in the group she created, as if as creator of a group of over 1000 she has now ceased all prerogatives over it. Else you start a new local group, call it “the issues with the issues with the issues of the Devizes Issue;” you could do that waiting in the traffic.

 
Ah yes, you can see it now, unfolding before you, billions will request to join a place where you can type “big jobs,” and not be punished. Though they don’t join, cos they’ve joined thirty similar others already, and the group fades into obscurity unless you can find the next viral meme of Boris Johnson popping a letter into the eyelet of a burka before Teeder does.

 
Whitehead smirks; “Attwood takes the shit for me ha-ha.” It’s the new blame culture trickling down from Whitehall to Devizes Tory Hub.

 
Some donkey actually commented on one of the killion posts about road works in Devizes that Claire Perry should step in; They. Actually. Said. That. She doesn’t care if her actions cause earthquakes, you think she gives a sausage sandwich if you are half hour late for work?

Thing is, I reckon we enjoy other’s pain and tribulations, makes us feel better about ourselves. We long for our therapist to stop beating about the bush when we unload our deepest psychological worries, we yearn for them to reply, “no, sorry, nothing I can do for you pal, you’re fucking mental.” My mum pays for someone to tell her off if she eats too much, yeah, “fat club” she calls it, Slimming World to you and me. “Can’t eat that cake,” she gives it, “they’ll tell me off.” She pays for that shit. I laugh at her misfortune, under my breath. Then I help her out, as any good son would; I take the cake, ha-ha.

 
I’m so evil now too, the wind of change drifting me with it; Brexit/remain do what the fuck you like, you will anyway; that’s democracy not powerful media persuasion, subtly painted on the side of a big red bus. I just lounge and watch Spongebob Squarescrotum, trying not to contemplate our fate. Couldn’t care less anymore, I’m numb, about anything. Used to put milk in after brewing my tea, now I just chuck it in before the hot water. You can quote me on Facebook saying how I like my tea, the rest, I’ll sue your ass.

 
Meanwhile another overpriced pub shuts, the social hub now virtual; “Joe Blogs likes this;” he doesn’t have to put his hand in his pocket for the next round. Teenagers ask “okay Siri, what is meant by the term ‘round’ in a social environment?”

 
Nobody got the spare cash for a plastic lollipop, let alone a round of drinks. You’ve uncultured yourself, well done you, abandoned uniqueness, succumbed to Spoons and now you can drink twelve pints for the cost of ten in pub with character; ten pints hardly touches the sides, is there a Europe tribute down the bin? Yeah, the Final Countdown, da-da-da-da-da.

 
Oh, the irony, we’re heading somewhere but it ain’t Venus, it’s a penis, with the face of Jacob Reese-Mog, the Andrew Ridgley of xenophobic politicians, with a protective army of brainwashed twats who thought Romper Stomper was about a soft play centre. The Willy of the people, heart on your sleeve? He’s one big wizard’s sleeve.

And while we’re on sleeves, why not get a tattoo? The whole fucking sleeve and try not to think how others are sleeping rough. Daddy will buy you that Fiat Punto, you’ve got to stick a shitley rendered eyeball motif on your bicep. Flex it whenever you see a foreigner applying for a job you wouldn’t stand to do anyway. Bloody homeless camping in a graveyard, do they know no shame? Might have done prior to clearing them out of the woods so we can all hang dog poo bags from trees there.

 
And breathe, thank the heavens for small mercies, that that brazen wanker has written his final shite No Surprises column, cos it’s not funny anymore, any subject he could cover is so damn dark and disturbing it satirises itself; The president of America, look at him. I rest my case.

Shamelessly stealing an idea from posh-rural-girls-with-nothing-better-to-spend-their-corporate-MD-husband’s-salary-on website, Shitty Stilettoes, or whatchamacallit, has to be the lowest of lows for Devizine.

No, put those pecans down, we’re not going into the overpriced cupcake business, but hey, they have awards, awards people, awards! What a fun idea it’d be to have awards too; of the understanding we have no shame at Devizine Towers and it’s something we pride ourselves on.

So, allow me to present the nominating period of the Devizine Awards 2018, whereby winners receive absolutely bugger all other than the fame, (soz, typo; I meant shame) prestige (soz again; pretzel) and perhaps a sheet of sneezed on toilet tissue, should I manage to muster some up; give me a minute…. Achooooo!

There you go. Now who wouldn’t want to win one of these splendid trophies which exists purely as an image online, in only 72 dpi?

Categories then, that’s what I need. How about best place to barf up kebab on a Friday night? Most idyllic location to jettison your unnecessary McDonald’s waste packaging from the window of your dropped down Fiat Punto? Admit it, you’ve got the t-shirt on this one.

Best place to lose your shit? Being a good lad, I don’t even know what losing one’s shit actually means, but lots of cool kids say it. Best place to get stuck in traffic so you’ve an excuse for being late for work? This one speaks for itself.

Oo, now, this’ll be fun; most annoying Wiltshire Councillor? I’m not talking about the councillor who simply has the most condescending laugh, or likes to use business jargon such as “moving forward then,” to mean “I know I’m guilty but I really think we should change the subject,” I mean the most stuck-up, obnoxious arsehole who couldn’t give a finger of fudge about the issues in debate, like closing education facilities, introducing extortionate parking charges or the general dilapidation of our roads.

Biggest waste of space in Wiltshire; open to interpretation this one, could be a heritage site, a recreational area, or perhaps your flatmate Kevin who still hasn’t picked up his plate off the carpet from last night and now it’s crawling with ants.

There’s so many we could do, the gym with the stinkiest trainers? Biggest parking Muppet; not looking for the occasional Gonzo parked on a bus lane to get chips, but the real Big Bird of parking Muppetery. We need photos people, photos I say. Worst local website for news and what’s on…. hold on, no scrub that one, in fact, yeah, bad idea all round really.

Tell you what, let’s do this thang, now I’m running low on gags, and do it properly, with some standardised categories but applied to the local scene. You should know our area by now, from Swindon, Marlborough to Bath, incorporating Chips and Ham, Trow-Vegas, the Sham, and naturally, Divided. l throw open the voting process, seriously, please cast ONE vote per category.

Please add your own answer, if they’re not here; it’s Sunday, my brain smells of wee, and I’ve doubtlessly missed loads. Oh and deadline is next Sunday 25th November, so get voting!

Okay, done deciding? Let’s round this up next Sunday, or whenever I get round to it! Talk to you then, when I’ll announce the winners and runners-up in an online black tie-dye ceremony! Hey, now that’s a good idea, a Facebook ceremony; what’d you think?

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Bugs me having to take a poster off Devizine. No, I’m not Mary Whitehouse, thank you, just cos I got the same hairdo. Not for censorship purposes, just the cancelation of next Friday’s Sunset Service gig down the Lamb, Devizes. Not wishing to go into reasons, I do wish both parties effected a silver lining on their clouds. Anyhoo, I’ve only gone and blagged the Sunset Service’s spanking new EP download, “Roads Vol1” to account what we’d be missing, cos I’m nice like that; you don’t have to thank me.

 
Sunset Service, five guys, namely: Phil Eaton on lead vocals, harmonica and guitar, Ash Hulbert, lead guitar, James Lloyd on guitar and keys, Andrew James on bass and drummer Olly Bray, have produced a debut worthy of our attention. Four original tracks are on offer here, though the band describe themselves as “alt-country rock,” tracks are diverse.

While it opens with “Wasted Time,” an up-tempo blast of rock which borders the genre alt-country, and the second track “Take it Easy,” slows the pace with some emotional harmonica and unquestionably respires a country-inspired sagacity, the third tune “One Fine Day” wastes no time in projecting a vibrant blues riff. “Rescue Me” polishes the EP off with the defining blend of previous tunes.

 
There’s fair writing skill, but mostly just an enjoyable listen, which despite its given label, doesn’t lend to the archetypal phoney “country” template. I guess what I’m attempting to explain is that Sunset Service do not ramble off cultural references like they leapt straight out of a freight train heading for Tennessee, save one where Phil refers to “good ol’ boys,” but there’s no indication they’re drinking whisky and rye. Yep, there’s something acutely British about the writing and the vocals which retains its feet firmly on the floor. “Keeping it real,” they call it in hip hop, ironically though sometimes, and being the guys are from Swindon, with a couple originally from Devizes, it does just that.

Think, if The Flying Burrito Brothers met The Strokes; for while a twang of guitar strings fits snug, there’s a slant of britpop, of Keane, or The Killers. Not overlooking we’ve this retrospective blues edge harking back to Cream or Hendrix. This is quality stuff which we’re clearly missing out on. This side of Christmas the band want to find a replacement booking in Devizes, so promoters get rallying, and everyone else, check out the EP here:

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/4wdIG3KnaEvVfawC8ALzDS…
Apple:
https://itunes.apple.com/gb/album/id1441028038
Amazon:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Roads-Vol-1-Sunset-Service/dp/B07K4GL5HF/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SunsetServiceUK/

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Devizes Lions: BBC CHILDREN IN NEED STREET COLLECTION

The Devizes Lions, no, not the lions who escaped the circus to invade the School canteen in 1980 or whenever, (showing your age now,) but the Lions Club, who organise and participate in many brilliant community activities, and with the support of the local community have raised many thousands of pounds to help support local people and various charities, yes, those Lions!

Now, where was I? Oh yes, The Devizes Lions will be out in the Brittox with their buckets and dressed as clowns on Thursday 15th November to encourage people to donate to the BBC Children in Need appeal. Please show them your support!

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Mirko posted about his forthcoming gig at the Sport Club on Facebook, other dates at Coulsdon and Conford have sold out, and commented “I’d really like to get a sold out in Devizes too!” Thing is, if you’d all been listening to the album I’ve been listening to for the past fortnight, it would sell out in five minutes. If local hero Jon Amor’s infectious influence on a vibrant blues scene for our market town is anything to go by, Elles Bailey will astound.

 
Remember when “soft metal” was all the rage, and you heard the intro to Bon Jovi’s Wanted Dead or Alive? There was something ye olde Americana about it, something authentic; you could hear the wind whistling through a tumbleweed, but as the song progressed it tended to lose its way. Something about the intro to Wildfire reminded me of it, yet that authenticity never, for a second, wanes here, and Elles Bailey is actually, from Bristol.

In the nineties Bristol contributed to the electronic scene with a particularly unique blues element, I mention Massive Attack and Portishead to Elles, but she doesn’t cite an influence from them. “I didn’t listen at all as I was growing up,” she informs, but I suspected as much, “I love Bonnie Raitt, Joe Cocker and The Band though!”

 
“Ha-ha,” I jest, “not about to do a “Cher” corny dance number then? To which I rightfully receive no reply! For “Wildfire” is gorgeously mature, if I sum it up as; it blends blues and country, people might respond, “yeah right; that’s been done 60 years ago, it’s called rock n roll!” I’d favour it bridges a gap between the two; weaving blues roots, electric blues and country, with contemporary superiority and originality, but authenticity too, rather than simply, a “blend.” Generally, though, it’s blues, other times it nods to country, but only teeters on the edge of rock n roll. I asked Elles if this was fair portrayal, she replied, “Yeah I’d say that’s a pretty good comparison! I like to dance on the edge of blues, roots, soul and country – add a smidge of rock and that’s what gives you Elles Bailey.”

 
Still, there’s a wonderful smoky style to Elles voice, Bonnie Tyler too easy-a-comparison, because when its country, the acute composition and ingenious writing style is akin to Dolly, while her blues components are as blistering as the idols it pays tribute to; Howlin’ Wolf in particular.

It’s often questioned how a singer obtains their raspy or smoky vocals, and if its dangerous on the vocal chords. Some joke they record as soon as they wake up, others suggest smoking a packet of Camel cigarettes, but Elles’ website reveals a story behind hers of being in hospital as a kid. The blues then took Elles at an early age, and it shows, for this is truly polished and earnest music. This is one fiery blues chick with edge, but with sublime professionalism.

 
This is no quick sample of her music, I count eighteen tracks on the deluxe edition of her debut album Wildfire (Sept 1st 2017) she snapped over to me, which after a listen you feel emotionally exhausted but beholden, like you’ve just returned from a trip to Texas. Like a classic Springsteen album, subsequently you feel like you know the boss personally, as if he’s poured every last detail of his life, his transitory thoughts and sincere sentiment into it.

 
Wildfire received rave reviews, achieved no.2 in the iTunes blues Charts. Subject matter is often the rises and pitfalls of romance, or related, although not cliché, the standard template of cowboy references, boxcars and highway shoot-outs are rare, but Elles regularly travels to Nashville, the album tracked in Blackbird studios Tennessee. Produced by Brad Nowell, ‘Wildfire’ assembled a host of Nashville’s finest, including Grammy Award winning guitarist Brent Mason and three-time ‘Musician Hall of Famer’ Bobby Wood. Blended together back in the UK with the likes of Jonny Henderson (Robyn Ford, Matt Schofield) on Hammond organ and Joe Wilkins on blistering guitar, the result is a unique trans-Atlantic coming together of styles.

 
There’re no standalone tracks here; all are breath-taking and powerful, even acoustic ones. “Same Flame” packs said punch, and is particularly catchy, downtempo “Leiper’s Fork” is staunchly inspiring as Tammy Wynette, and “Time’s a Healer” drifts like Pink Floyd. I hear The Doors, Taylor Swift, but predominantly I hear that dependable old blues of Muddy Waters and the aforementioned Howlin’ Wolf, who’s self-titled tribute song Elles knocks out of the park. I tell her a story I’d once read about him in a recording studio in London, when he gave a quick word to a bunch of young hopefuls recording in the next studio. After said advice the group came out with the style which defined them, and thus the Rolling Stones ensued. Elles loved the story, how we’d both loved to have been a fly on that wall!

So, Elles is to present a stripped-down version of the songs on offer with Wildfire, “and some new songs and old songs, so a kinda different show,” she explains, on a hefty “Stripped back trio” tour she’s appearing at The Devizes Sports Club on Friday November 30th – you’d be a hound dog to miss out on this one.

Tickets available now at Devizes Books, Avon Trophies, Devizes Sports Club or of course, MPL Guitars UK. You can reserve your tickets via txt to be picked up on the door on 07760482453.

Facebook Event Page Here 

Elles Bailey Website

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Hymns for Robots by Noctium Theatre is defined as devised/ expressionist theatre, and it’s at The Shoebox Theatre in Swindon this weekend.

 
In a small attic, packed in hundreds of cereal boxes, lies the life’s work of Delia Derbyshire – the unsung genius behind the Doctor Who theme tune and trailblazer of electronic music. Join Noctium as they explore this fascinating tale of the mother of modern music. Using strange sounds and weird wobbulations, Noctium brings you a sonic experience your ears won’t believe.

 
Hymns for Robots mixes Noctium’s unique heightened performance style with analogue and digital music to bring you an extraordinary life that was almost forgotten.

 
Suitable for ages 14+. Contains strong language and references to sex.

***** “Constantly engaging and charming. Hymns for Robots is something that shouldn’t be missed.” – Broadway Baby**** “Quirky, offbeat and stylish” – Fringe Guru

Friday 9th – Saturday 10th November, 7.30pm. Cost: £10

Book Here

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Remember, Remember the fifth of November; or do you, I mean really? Or do you just watch the pretty colours of fireworks in the air? Throw away bygone connotations of restoring a Catholic monarch to the throne, I always consider the Gunpowder Plot of 1605 principally as a plan to blow up the House of Parliament, that’s enough for me to ponder if its failure is something, I should celebrate at all.

So, The Gazette reports “an illegal rave which saw hundreds of people descend on a village near Devizes caused traffic chaos and left a huge clean up job of debris including needles, cannisters and balloons used for taking nitrous oxide,” on Thursday, when it estimated 500 revellers turned up at Pear Tree Hill, near Great Cheverell, Saturday night.

 
I always read such news articles with one eye squinting, knowing full well my youth, filled with personal involvement in such matters, recognised similar bulletins as complete hearsay and gossip-spreading scare stories, far beyond the realities of the actual events. The early nineties, the era of countless raves and mass illegal gatherings in the UK came to its apex when 40,000 ravers descended on Castlemorton Common near Malvern, in the May of 1992. So, let’s get the scale of Saturday night in perspective shall we, with its estimated 500 bods? That would’ve been deemed a “garden party” to ravers in the nineties.

“Two men were arrested on drug and theft charge,” the Gazette continues, failing to compare this with an evening in a city, where I’d wager police would consider it a quiet night.

 
On with the next line, “A farmer who rents the land from the MOD said: There were cars all over the place blocking the lane. At one point an ambulance tried to go up but couldn’t get through. The mess that has been left is dreadful. There are needles and cannisters obviously used for taking drugs.” Let me just read a smidgen between these lines, it’s a farmer, the poor bloke has just had 500 kids arrive in his field to party, and you expect him to report an unbiased opinion, you expect him not to embroider to get his point across and release his frustration?

 
I fully sympathise with this farmer, and anyone this gathering may have affected, as I would’ve done back in the days when I was a teenage dirtbag on the hunt for escapism and adventure. I’d also like to state that a massive quantity of respect was then given, back in days of yore, for the land we partied on, and the even the neighbours. Contrary to popular belief, we would tidy up party sites, we would take care not to offend residents, and we would least attempt to communicate with police and allow access to emergency services. We were not savage; just bored kids celebrating our youth.

We weren’t even politically motivated, until the government endeavoured to stamp it out. But what they tried to stop only spread the fashion further afield, across Europe. Now, though, has it returned to bite them in the arse; very few in the age group defined in the Gazette’s report would’ve been raving in 1991?

 
I quiver pondering how true this report is, but if it is and if a mess is being left, abandoned rubbish and general acts of social vandalism are being carried out under this banner of “rave”, I ask the hedonists in attendance, if we are to see a return to the nineties rave scene, please read up on it, see how it was done back then; yeah, it was anarchistic but we respected the land and others, our only mission was to party, not wreak havoc.

 
Organisers, take bin bags, encourage people to be considerate, don’t play the disorder card as it’ll only enrage them and they’ll try halting the party, then it turns nasty, which I know is far from your original intention, and a horrifying situation for partygoers to be in.

 
Sgt Pete Foster said: “We were initially alerted to this incident by officers patrolling the area, as opposed to a call from members of the public. By this time, in excess of 100 vehicles and 400 people were at the scene for what was clearly a pre-planned event, therefore it would have required significant police resources to disperse the crowd, diverting those officers away from a number of serious incidents across the county.”

 
“A risk assessment was carried out which determined there was a low immediate impact on the local community and a decision was therefore taken not to move the crowd on and instead, monitor the situation throughout the night. Two people were subsequently arrested.”

 
“We understand the inconvenience and negative impact this incident has had on those living nearby and we would encourage landowners to ensure their land is secure to help prevent incidents of this nature taking place in future.” This was precisely the attitude of police prior to the Criminal Justice Act, which allowed us a chance to go raving. For some I understand it may not be the correct approach, that acts such as these should be curbed, and if it grows then I’m certain it will, just as before. I’d like to congratulate the police for the right attitude. For if you resist, the matter will blossom out of control.

Yet, who is to be surprised when, just as before, the government are financially crippling young people, tyrannising the poorest and slashing resources with economic depression, like cuts to services, raising stealth taxes and budgets targeting the underprivileged? Is it any wonder popular revolt and acts of anarchy will rise under times of such pressures? Find me a historical example when rebellion didn’t occur under similar circumstances, I dare you.

 
If the Government wants to control this before it gets out of hand, I’d suggest it ceases its oppressive insolence, reasons we rejected society was because we felt we were ignored, this should be measured. Build a positive reputation, a bond between officials and the youth, and for crying out loud, listen to them, it is their future. Remember, Remember the fifth of November.

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Once again the club was absolutely packed out with punters come to see some of the best entertainment on offer in D-Town. It’s so good to see the club back on a roll.

Tonight’s support act was Thompson Smurthwaite – what a great name! – who had absolutely no trouble whatever in capturing the audience’s attention. Looking a little like Seasick Steve to the casual observer, the guy rolled out some wonderful harmonica blues. On his Facebook page he writes “I was found by the blues in my teens, sang them in my 20’s, met them in my 30’s, wrote them ever since. Harmonica was my first instrument and still in love” and this perfectly sums the guy up. Fully deserved the roaring applause.

Then onto the main act, which was served up in two separate large portions. The first helping had the protagonists – Devizes own supreme axeman Innes Sibun and Detroit-born Marcus Malone and the other musicians – all seated at the front of the stage, playing some beautiful laid-back stuff, thoughtful, melodic but definitely bluesy. This was music to draw you right in and make you feel good.

After the break the second helping was probably more what people might have been expecting, with a full-rip set of high-energy, explosive numbers. It was loud and proud, and the crowd lapped it up. This was a blues/ rock collaboration working in top gear.

So – yet another great night at Long Street Blues Club. Next up on 17th November is Lightning Willie and His All-Star US Band – another cracker by the looks of it!

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Andy Fawthrop

Once more to the Conservative Club in Long Street for another offering from Long Street Blues Club. On Saturday night it was Ryan McGarvey.

 
Support act Phil Cooper was first up. This local singer/ songwriter gave us a number of self-penned songs, very much based on his own experience and feelings. Phil writes some good songs, is a fine guitarist and a strong vocalist. But his inter-song banter is what probably lets him down a little – he comes across as a little desperate and needy at times. I mean it’s okay to mention the fact that you have CDs for sale perhaps once, towards the end of your set, but not between every song! Still, the crowd seemed to appreciate what he did. And, musically, the guy done well!

Then on to the main man, Ryan McGarvey, described in the media as “a star on the rise”. Ryan is said to tour constantly, and it was obvious from the very start that his power trio were a well-drilled, well-practised unit. His dynamic guitar playing style, screaming and wailing at times, lyrical and crooning at others, was a joy to listen to. With drummer and bass laying down some supportive bluesy, occasionally heavy, grooves the band built up the numbers in layers of sound.

 
But Ryan was not afraid to take the stage alone either. Whilst his two mates sloped off for a quick cuppa, Ryan provided some laid-back, haunting stuff that captivated the audience. This simpler, more stripped-back material demonstrated that Ryan is not just a one-trick pony, and these were a few of my favourite moments of the evening.

But then we were back to the power trio for the run in to the end of the set and the encore. Bits of virtuoso playing, bits of self-indulgence, together with some old-fashioned show-boating with the guitar seemingly playing itself on the floor. And it all went down a storm with the packed audience.

Another great night at Long Street Blues Club. Next up on 3rd November is the Malone Sibun Band – another one not to miss!

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Andy Fawthrop

Thursday night is not a traditionally busy night on the musical calendar in Devizes, so it was a rare treat to have somewhere different to fall into this week. I’m not normally a great fan of tribute bands to be honest, but Dire Straits are a particular favourite of mine, so I thought I’d give it a go – a sort of Private Investigation if you like.

 
Just as a generalisation (and bear with me on this one) – my belief is that a tribute band needs to look like their heroes (preferred, but not absolutely necessary) and to sound like them (absolutely vital). Otherwise, what’s the point? Sultans of Swingers didn’t really do either in my opinion. To misquote Eric Morecambe – they played all the right notes, in the right order. But beyond that, the magic wasn’t really there. So much of Dire Straits’ original distinctive sound depended on Knopfler’s vocals and on the lead guitar riffs, but these guys just didn’t cut it on that basis. “Money For Nothing” was a shadow of its glorious self, and played at a tempo way too slow. “Twisting By The Pool”, as another example, instead of being upbeat and exciting, with a sense of fun, was a bit low on revs. And “Heavy Fuel” was heavy work. You’ll have gathered by now that I didn’t really enjoy this performance. Just far too plodding and pedestrian for my taste. And I wasn’t alone – several people that I spoke to at the bar agreed with me.

 
Having said that, there was a good crowd, a good atmosphere and a lot of love in the room. So plenty of other people were clearly enjoying it. But not my cup of tea, I’m afraid.

 
I could have concluded that it was “Money For Nothing” but that would be a bit unfair, as the gig was actually free entry. And thumbs up to The Bell By The Green for getting that big back room open, and filled with live music. Another good Devizes venue. Let’s hope that there’s plenty more to come where that came from.

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The end of harvest means we’re moving into the murkier season; Halloween, the over-commercialised American-Gaelic festival of Samhain, a liminal crossover to the Otherworld, and its Christianised appropriation, where evil Aos Sí spirits, the souls of the dead and fairies pass to our realm in the dead of night, to bob for apples and bang on doors yelling “trick or treat,” slapped in cheap face-paint from Wilkos.

 
Appease the Aos Sí, miscellanies of pagan gods, nature spirits, and snotty-nosed brats to safeguard your livestock during winter, by handing them all of your space-dust covered Freddos, while cursing Spielberg for making ET and reviving our forefather’s sacred but mysterious festival, submerged in Yankee hogwash.

 
Complain endlessly, “we never had all this hallo-bloody-ween when we were kids,” suffering repetitive strain injury from mistakenly carving pumpkin; evil spirits will not infiltrate your premises if you place a pumpkin at your door, they’re all about turnips I’m afraid. All you will get is the snotty-nosed kid variety, which by the end you’d have favoured the evil spirits.

 
Note how the youngest thank you, while their experienced elders only thrust out their sausage-fingers in expectance and increase their productivity with haste and the manners of piglets. Ask a kid these days if they’d like to bob for apples and they’ll be expecting an iPhone.

 
Attempt a trick rather than a treat and receive a confused expression. But beware the cold and exhausted, politically correct father hiding in the bushes, or grinning with insane parental pride from the bottom of your path; yes, the trick part went out with flared trousers, just hand over the fucking Haribo, snowflake.

 
It doesn’t matter if the imp is inappropriately dressed in a non-horrific character onesie, never criticise or a Millennial parent will video you on his Android and seethe through finely-trimmed beard, “hey, don’t burden my son with your gender stereotypes, he idolises Upsy Daisy; you got issues mate!”

 
Stay in and watch the Michael Jackson Thriller Video on YouTube at your peril, for the rest of you sensible somebodies, here’s a guide to spooky-type happenings, and what’s to be doing for Halloween in the shire. But don’t be a zombie about it, check through now as tickets to some events are being booked swiftly.

Thursday 18th October

The Halloween Ice Rink @ Whitehall Garden Centre, Lacock

Unsure what connection ice-skating has to Halloween, the ghost of Jackson Haines? But Whitehall has their ice rink set to go from Thursday and it runs up to Halloween night on the 31st. Sessions run on the hour every hour, each session runs for 45 minutes. £5.99, tickets include skate hire. All children must be accompanied and supervised by an adult at all times. Arrive at least 15 minutes prior to your skate session starting.
Book here: https://www.whitehallgardencentre.co.uk/shop/customer-events/groupid/2874/day/18/month/10/year/2018.html

Wednesday 24th October

Longleat House Ghost Tours

This a spine-chilling tour of Longleat House starts here and continues every day until 4th November. A ghoulish guide will take you through unseen cellars, eerie attics and dark corridors, all whilst sharing haunting tales of Longleat’s legendary past. It’s long been rumoured that the Grey Lady, Lady Louisa Carteret – wife of the 2nd Viscount, still wonders the House in search for her murdered lover.

 
You’ll hear all about Longleat’s ghostly residents but be careful not to disturb the dead… Who knows what might happen if you do – this tour isn’t for the faint hearted, join them if you dare!
https://www.longleat.co.uk/whats-on/longleat-house-ghost-tours?utm_source=FB_Gum&utm_campaign=ghost_tours

Friday 26th October

Little Shop of Horrors at Wharf Theatre, Devizes

Running until 3rd November this beauty has a tenacious link to Halloween far more than ice skating. Expect a review from me shortly after the opening night, as despite not being a lover of musicals in general, I adore this one! It’s a deviously delicious sci-fi smash, and one of the longest running off-Broadway shows. Little Shop of Horrors’ charmingly tongue in cheek comedy has devoured the hearts of theatre goers for over 30 years.

The meek floral assistant Seymour Krelborn stumbles across a new breed of plant he names ‘Audrey II’ after his co-worker crush. This foul-mouthed, R&B-singing carnivore promises unending fame and fortune to the down and out Krelborn, as long as he keeps feeding it, blood.

Buy tickets from the Devizes Community Hub and Library, Sheep Street, Devizes | Box Office Telephone 0333 666 3366 or online from: https://www.ticketsource.co.uk/the-wharf-theatre

Halloween Party @ The White Hart Atworth

Formed from the band El-Nino, the brilliant four-piece, Plan of Action will be playing a mix of alternative, rock and indie music. Fancy dress is encouraged!

Halloween Ghost Train @ Swindon & Cricklade Railway

Continues on Saturday, same times, 6:00pm – 8:45pm Take a ghoulish train ride, now that does sound like spooky fun! Here: http://www.swindon-cricklade-railway.org/events.php#top

Saturday 27th October

The Very Scary Worton Monster Trail at Worton Village Hall

It’s a family friendly monster-themed scarecrow trail, running Sunday too. Come and wander around the village to find the monsters malingering in the gardens and try to guess who they are. Prizes will be given for the most correct guesses drawn at random. It’s £2 per person entry fee, and the trail starts from the Village Hall, running from 11am – 4pm.

 
I do hope they take the monsters down prior to my milk round in the wee hours, last year I got a nasty shock when I bumped into Mike Wazowski hiding around a corner in Mill Head!

Incredible Comic Shop’s Halloween Comic-Fest

Lots of spooky comics will be available for free at The Incredible Comic Shop, Brunel Shopping Arcade, Swindon on this day, and they will be holding a Halloween costume competition.

Kids Halloween Disco at the Wyvern Club, Devizes

With DJ Holz Stone, there will be games; hook a skull, tombola, fancy dress competition, and hotdogs and burgers on sale. £1 entry; all welcome 3:30-5:30pm.

Halloween Karaoke @ The Pelican, Devizes

Right up Krazee Devil’s street is Halloween; all in the name. From 8pm-1am, optional fancy dress Halloween party and karaoke, promises to be one hell of a night’s entertainment.

Family Halloween Party @ The Owl, Bromham

5-8pm. Fun & Games, Spooky Bingo, fancy dress competition, free tickets for pumpkin raffle and hotdogs for a quid – all free too. If you pick up a ticket from the Sports & Social Club beforehand, it’ll guarantee a child goody bag.

Dracula- the Panto! @ The Neeld, Chippenham

There’s a vampire behind you! Gothic meets slapstick in this fun-packed show which promises to have the whole family screaming with laughter. It’s become a true family favourite all over the country; full of irresistibly scary fun in true panto style, telling the tale of the infamous vampire as you have never seen it before. Only the Dame and a song sheet stand between the naughty Count and world domination…..

 
Two actors will take you on a hilarious journey, performing a bewildering series of costume changes to bring you countless characters including the frolicsome Dame and the naughty Count himself plus great songs to boot including the fiendish favourites ‘Bat out of Hell’ ‘Bad Moon Rising’ and ‘In the Midnight Hour’. One night only, standard tickets are £10 from here: http://www.neeld.co.uk/whats-on/dracula-the-panto/

Halloween Gig with Dusk Til’ Dawn @ London Road Inn, Calne

Halloween fancy dress gig. Fancy dress recommend but not required.

Family Halloween Party @ Forest Community Centre, Melksham

Halloween disco. Free entry, fancy dress is optional.

Swindon Halloween Urban Party @ H2O, Fleet Street Swindon

DJ Bamzy, Dj Nemz and DJ Santo$, brings you “the best urban party of the year.” 10pm-3am, entry £5 all night, ladies free b4 midnight.

Disco Undead III: The Final Chapter @ Basement 45, Bristol

Jim’ll Paint It hosts conclusion to a gruesome Disco Undead saga. Featuring two rooms of monstrous party music from disco, bassline and breaks to jungle, DnB and beyond. Bust out your best Halloween fancy dress for maximum respect and cheaper entry. The best dressed ghoul will bag themselves a prize bundle. Featuring VHS Hea, Kanji Kinetic, City Guys, Matt Ma G, Hurtdeer, Dr Muck, Edd Harris, Si Lindley, Rastey, Ray Von, Crazy Eyez, and Burns Unit. £6 advanced (includes fee) / £7 on the door / £6 in fancy dress. Tickets available from Skiddle: https://goo.gl/9eDr9w

Sunday 28th October

Halloween Spooktacular Fun Mile, by Brighter Futures GWH, Swindon @ Coate Water

Trick or treat yourselves to a Fun Mile for Brighter Futures at Coate Water. Whether you run, jog or walk, (I know what’d I’d choose) this event is open to all ages. Show your scarily good costumes, frightfully delightful pumpkin carvings and ghoulish guesses in the challenges in store for you. You will be rewarded with a medal at the finishing line followed by themed refreshments.

By taking part in our Spooktacular event, you can support any ward or department within Great Western Hospital that is special to you. You will be helping the doctors and nurses to fund new equipment and training, right through to ensuring that the environment is welcoming and comfortable for patients and loved ones.

Halloween Spooktacular is a great, fun-filled morning for you, your family and friends and the chance to join other people who care about their local NHS hospital. All we ask of you is that you aim high and raise as much as you can for this most worthy cause.
Entry: Adults – £7. Children 16 and under – £5. Under 5’s – free. All children must be accompanied by a paying adult to take part. To sign up: www.entrycentral.com/spooktacular

Monday 29th October

Pumpkin Carving @ Hillworth Park

Sessions beginning at 11am, 1pm, and 3pm, book early for this by calling 01380 721288. It’s £2.50 per child and they get a drink and spooky biscuit included. Not sure how a biscuit can be spooky, unless it’s six years out of date like the ones I often find lurking at the bottom of my biscuit barrel, but there you go!

Tuesday 30th October

Halloween Holiday Activities @ Wiltshire Museum, Devizes

Continues into Wednesday, with two sessions per day, at 11am-12:30pm and 1:30-3pm the museum will be looking at Spiders, Witches & Potions! Book early. Suitable for age 11 and under, but ages 8 and must be accompanied. And it’s only £5 per child. Book here:

http://www.wiltshiremuseum.org.uk/?fbclid=IwAR1-r81BuNOHWlokUpDPva1ARlTRxft95fNxpYAnWQdZ4jSRO6fW7QBlegw&event-category=childrens-and-holiday-activities

Halloween Feast @ The Methuen Arms, Corsham

Allow local magician Chris Hiscock to dazzle you with his amazing “TRICKS” while you dine; the taster menu is £25 per person, set to be full of surprises! Booking is essential; contact for availability: 01249 717060 methuen@butcombepubs.com

Wednesday 31st October: Halloween Night

Halloween at the Park @ Hillworth Park, Devizes

5:30-7:30, I know this event is Free, but what happens there is a mystery, which is no bad thing this time of year. It does come with a warning, whatever does happen will not be for the faint-hearted!

The Crown at Bishops Cannings Halloween Treat, Tarot & Psychic Supper

Taking the tarot readings will be Mystic Ruth, who has been a Psychic for over 30 years, is well-known and respected and has appeared on TV and Radio, http://www.mysticruth.co.uk. Mystic Ruth will be joined by a guest Medium, Amanda Scrannage, www.facebook.com/spirtualmedium for those who would like a mediumship reading. The cost is £25.00 per person, which includes a 15-minute reading either Tarot or Mediumship and a 2-course meal. To book a reading please call 01380-860218 or email Thecrowninnbishopscannings@gmail.com

Halloween Spooktacular! @ The Water Meadow, Melksham

4-5:30pm, tickets £3 per child. Games, buffet, fancy dress competition and creepy cocktails on arrival.

Devilish Dine & Disco, The Crossing @ The Brunel, Swindon

4 – 6pm; a fang-tastic family disco, fiendish food offers to enjoy at our spooky dining area, face-painting, a fancy-dress competition and giveaways. Tickets £3 per child and can be purchased their offices, located next door to Something Different on the upper level of The Plaza or via the Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/TheBrunelSwindon

Friday 2nd November

Halloween Quiz & Quesadilla Night @ Times Square, Devizes

Tickets £5, does what it says on the tin; a spooky quiz night with deliciously filled quesadilla. Starts at 8pm.

BOO!

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Get this, right, I’ve never, ever, in all my years, which aren’t as many as you may think, worked on Christmas Day. I despise the idea of working right up to the day, or even in the in-betweeny bit, and if I was to have to, the only thing I’d want is to do is get back home to my family, or prior to having a family, the pub!

 
For tis the season to be jolly, to be with the ones you love, Noddy said so, and to all who do go out to work on that special day, for reasons of goodwill and to help others have a great Christmas, takes a lot of doing that we should be grateful for; there I’ve said my piece. Try to imagine though, if after working that day you couldn’t even get home, double-trouble; can’t imagine what that’s like.

 
Now, where was I? Ah yes, the point. The Smiles Club, Wiltshire’s Operation shoebox is a Devizes-based arm of a group who send much needed Morale boxes out to our military deployed on active duties. They are in desperate need of items to go in the Christmas Shoeboxes for our troops. If you are able to donate anything Christmas related, from decorations, Christmas cake, puddings, mince pies, Christmas presents, sweets, chocolates, wrapping paper and, of course shoeboxes it would be greatly appreciated. You can even send a Christmas card.

Recently the group’s organiser Amanda Wood-Woolley received a direct request from a Major, deployed in Estonia, one of the biggest locations the group send boxes to, with 800 troops, humbly requesting that no boxes are posted after 23rd November as mail is not getting through as quickly as they would like.

So, the group, who operate all year long and have featured on local BBC for the Royal Wedding, aim to compete their mission by November, the final sending date is between 20th-23th at the latest. Anyone interested and with items to go into Christmas boxes, please them know when you would like them collecting, there’s a Facebook group to join with stacks of information how to help, ideas on what to get and even some heartfelt thank-you-notes from the troops. Amanda invites you to send her a personal message on Facebook, should you not wish to join the group, or you are not on Facebook, her email is: awoolley532@gmail.com

Smiles Club
https://m.facebook.com/groups/751490818369849

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You know what I reckon? Devizes is in for a treat next Friday 12th, courtesy of the Cellar Bar, when Orange County multi-talented musician Steve Maggiora visits for an exclusive trio gig with Jon Amor and Mark Barrett. I reckon, no, I now know this because I’m listening, as I write, to his emotional rock ballads I’ve found online, and it’s good ol’ high quality easy-on-the-ear US rock, akin to Springsteen or Tom Petty.

As I wrote, the third track of his album, “When I get you Alone,” marched on with a funky intro; oh, there’s a clear soul and jazzy, Herbie Hancock fashioned influence thrown in too, methinks.

Darn, I’ve got to alter my notes; it’s feel-good pop rock, but as Springsteen did with his early Asbury Park circuit work, there’s a clear funky soul spur thrown in, perhaps more than that, a larger sprinkling of a sound reminiscent of Curtis Mayfield seems to intensify as it progresses. With the only cover track on the album being a funky upbeat Don’t Know Why, Nora Jones rendition, Steve graces this contemporary pop sound and mate, I kid you not, it’s groovetastic with a blues nod.

Leaves me pondering who’d he’d cite as his influences. I’d have to badger the man himself as he wakes up in Dublin this morning! Phew, “I love your comparisons!” Steve told me, “Some of my major influences lately are Tom Petty, Marc Broussard, Allen Stone, Robert Jon & The Wreck.”

Passionately, despite about to head out from an airport to his air B&B, Steve continues, “As far as this new record, Hearts & Scars goes, my producer, Jon O’Brien, and I were referencing Fleetwood Mac, Dawes, and Tom Petty for the overall sound of the record.” But, no mimicking, it’s a uniquely creative sound; what was his thought process during its creation?

“The intention of this record was to get myself back to song writing that is honest, and maybe not the easiest to put into words. Songs of love, loss, loneliness – which is can be a beautiful and/or tragic thing depending on what your perspective is. My 2016 record, which we will also be performing cuts off of – I’ll have both records for sale at the show – touched on that a bit with songs like ‘Middle Of Night’ and ‘Only’, however was focused more towards the funky/sexy/sexually driven tunes such as ‘When I Get You Alone’, ‘Freak In The Sheets’, and ‘You Know You Want It (Cause It’s Big)’, which have all been great crowd pleasers over the last few years. For “Hearts & Scars” though, I really wanted to embrace the harder things to say, in a still groovy way that I hope will resonate with people.”

I hope so too, on one listen I’m harking back to Marvin Gaye, mixed with aforementioned rock icons, Fleetwood Mac and Petty. I’m glad to get this opportunity to chat with him, as Steve is a workhorse, prolifically recording and endlessly touring, but we seem to have the only gig listed on his website, in England. “Is that right,” I asked him, “has Devizes got an exclusive show, and if so, how did this come about?” Over a gig in London or Bristol or wherever, where, judging by the highly polished and universally appealing quality of his sound, he’d go down a storm.

“Yes, the Devizes gig will be a one-off,” Steve explains, “which I’m very much looking forward to! I was on tour earlier in September with Beaux Gris Gris & The Apocalypse, [who appeared at the Sports Club, if you cast your mind back to our review] which is where I first met and got to play with Jon Amor and Mark Barrett. After meeting Mirko through them during the time we were in Devizes, he offered a night for us to do a trio. The reason for only the one show is that I’m currently in between tours – having started with Beaux Gris Gris & The Apocalypse from September, I continued with one of my main bands, Robert Jon & The Wreck from 18 Oct-19 Nov across mainland Europe, followed by a private event in the Philippines, and then two shows in Tokyo at the end of November before heading back to the US.” You see where I was going when I said “workhorse” now, eh?

“I had originally planned to do a solo tour across UK and EU in between tours,” he continued, “however that did not pan out as it would have been too expensive to fly out band members from the US and hard to book a solo act for a first run; hence why I’m so excited for 12 Oct!”

I’m digging it man, totals. It’s tagged at just £8 on the door; jot in your diary, for Steve considers this his “first true non-work vacation I’ve taken as an adult,” so it should be the informal relaxed gig we’ve come to expect from The Cellar Bar and Mirko.

“It’s really nice to unplug for a bit and jet set,” Steve finished on, “Music is a truly wonderful thing, an international language,” he expresses, “and truly brings people together. Having met Jon for the first time here in the UK just a few weeks ago, Mark a few weeks before that in the US, it’s been incredible getting to share the stage with them on this last tour, and I’m very much looking forward to sharing the stage with them again!”

Steve’s Website

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by Andy Fawthrop

The local joke runs that “nothineverhappensinDevizes” but recently it’s become increasingly difficult to decide where one should spend one’s time and hard-earned pennies in this town on a Saturday night. There’s usually music of one sort or another in several venues around the town.

Last night was a bit easier – simply because of the quality bill on display at Long Street Blues Club. Wandering into the Conservative Club we knew we’d made the right choice. The place was pretty packed, with all the seats and tables near the front completely full well before the show started. So we had a great atmosphere going in the room before the bands even started.

First up were Ken Pustelnik’s Groundhogs. Originally formed way, way back in 1963 in the middle of Britain’s first music explosion, the band has morphed its way through many line-up changes during several decades before fetching up here in our lil’ old town. Ken himself, originally the drummer from the classic early line-up, now fronts the band and has surrounded himself with some great young musicians. Although only a relatively new line-up, you’d never know – the band was tight, forceful, driving dynamic. From the very first number, we knew we were in for a great set. Superb guitar licks, a thumping rhythm section and sparse vocals, interspersed with some wonderful improvisation sections – what more could you want? This was blues/ rock at its very best, and the crowd absolutely loved it.

After the break, came Del Bromham’s Blue Devils and the quality, unbelievably, went up yet one more notch. Del was a founder member of 70s legends Stray, and there’s a lot of the back catalogue still in the set. Like the Groundhogs, Del’s band has been through many changes over the years, and again the lead man has pulled together a superb younger line-up around him. The drive and the energy of every number were plain to see. Catchy guitar riffs, supported by tight drumming and bass lines and we were off on another blues and rock odyssey. Two things gave this band the slight edge for us – the inclusion of some hot keyboard work, which just added an extra dimension to the sound, and secondly the infectious bantering style of Del himself. Once again the crowd was engaged and in full support. We did not see one single person leaving early!

Both bands played a superb set, and were terrific value for money. Didn’t catch the engineer’s name but have to say that the sound quality throughout the gig was spot on.

We’ve been to several sessions of the Long Street Blues Club now and not been to a bad one yet. The quality of the acts booked by Ian Hopkins and his crew is top-notch, and we’re very lucky to have a team so dedicated to bringing bands of such high calibre to our little town. Last year the Club was quite near the edge financially, but thankfully ticket sales have picked up again this year. Really glad to hear it!

You can get tickets for these gigs from various outlets in town or, if not sold out, on the door. The club also does a discount deal in the form of season tickets for 5 or 6 gigs. The best thing you can do to support live music in our town is to get along to one or more of these gigs and see what we’re talking about – you won’t be disappointed. Have a look on Facebook for upcoming gigs through to December.

If you’ve yet to venture up to the far end of Long Street then don’t worry – you won’t get a nose bleed! The Con Club is accessible and open to members and non-members alike. They’re very friendly and they don’t bite!

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By Andy Fawthrop

Sunday afternoons in Devizes can often be a bit of a dead slot as far as musical entertainment is concerned, so hats off to The Three Crowns in Maryport Street for introducing some great laid-back live music sessions. Following several successful sessions in their very pleasant courtyard over the Summer, the music has now moved inside to the bar as the temperatures start to drop.

But there was no lack of warmth yesterday when Joe Hicks took to the mike. We dropped in for a couple of pints to catch his sets and were not disappointed. Delivering a seamless mixture of self-penned songs with a wide range of covers, Joe has a winning personal style. His infectious engagement with a supportive and vocal audience made for a great afternoon’s entertainment. Having only briefly caught part of his sets previously, it was great to just relax with a drink and give the guy a proper listen. Accompanied by some laid-back and sympathetic drumming, Joe’s guitar work was first class. He’s got a great voice too, which he used to great effect.

We loved his ability to vary his approach, texturing his vocals to suit the song. Whilst some singer/ songwriters come across as a little single-dimensional after a few songs, this was not a trap Mr. Hicks fell into.
Great atmosphere – really enjoyed the gig and made us want to go see him again.

If you’ve not been to The Three Crowns, and you’ve not heard Joe Hicks before, then both come highly recommended.

More on Joe Hicks

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For a second year, Trowbridge’s Town Hall Arts will open its doors to the public to celebrate Black History Month.

 
This year the Black History Month Celebration will be a tribute to the legacy of the Windrush Generation. It is 70 years since the arrival of the HTM Empire Windrush which was carrying more than 1,000 migrants from the Caribbean who were invited to come to help rebuild war-battered Britain.

 
The free event will start on Saturday 6th October at 12.00 pm with the opening of the exhibition ‘Wiltshire Remembers the Windrush Generation.’ This exhibition consists of eight panels reflecting the story of those who came decades ago to this county: stories of leaving their birth-place, their integration and their identity. This project has been designed by the Wiltshire and Swindon History Centre.

Traditional Caribbean food will be served from 12.30 pm and people can enjoy live music. There will be a crèche and activities for children will also be available and two drumming workshops.

During the afternoon, the popular female Quadrille dance group ‘JANUKA’ will be performing and encouraging the audience to participate in a dancing workshop. They will be travelling from South East London especially for the event.

 
At 2.00 pm there will be the screening of the classic film ‘Pressure’ (1975) by Trinidad-born director Horace Ové. ‘Pressure’ is considered the first feature-length fiction film by a black director in Britain and the first British film with an all-black cast.

 
Set in Ladbroke Grove, West London, an area with a large Caribbean population since the 1950s, the film shows the spirit of the 1970s through the life of Anthony, a black teenager born in Britain of parents from Trinidad and his struggles to find his way and identity in a white-dominated society. The film is suitable for anyone over 15 years old.

 
In addition, two short films will be shown prior to the screening of ‘Pressure’: ‘Hairitage’ (2016) directed by Aisha Sanyang-Meek, and ‘Beneath the Surface’ (2017) directed by Yero Timi-Biu. These short films directed for two talented young women, explore different aspects of black struggles from a contemporary point of view.

Seats are limited so those wanting to see the films should book tickets in advance online at http://www.trowbridgearts.com, in person at Town Hall Arts, Market Street, Trowbridge or by phone on 01225 774306. There is no charge for the tickets.

 
This Black History Month celebration has been made possible with funds from Heritage Lottery Fund and it is supported by the Film Hub South West through the BFI Audience Network. This organisation has made it possible to run a third season of the multicultural community project ‘Getting Together Through Films’ in October and November 2018 and January 2019.

 
The Celebration has been organised by a partnership between Wiltshire and Swindon History Centre, West Wiltshire Multi Faith Forum and Town Hall Arts.

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Trilbies off once again to the Devizes Scooter Club, who vroomed their hairdryers down to the Devizes & District Opportunity Centre Friday to donate a grand total of £1333, raised from their hugely successful Charity BBQ day in July at the Conservative Club. The Day-Breakers played, along with Blondie & Ska from Chippenham. There was plenty to do for all ages and the sun shone down on us all. Oh, bring back the summer!

Charity BBQ day. Images by Ruth Wordley

The Devizes & District Opportunity Centre, a small independent local charity with over 30 years’ experience of working to promote the overall development of young children with disabilities and difficulties, opens a world of opportunities for children and their families through high quality early years education, therapeutic care and ongoing support.

First hand I’ve seen the wonder, delight and care this organisation, and the super heroic staff bring to Devizes and we should be truly grateful for the hard work they put in.

 
Meanwhile the Scooter Club zoom on, with a nine-piece soul band, Gimmie Some Lovin’ on Saturday October 27th at the Conservative Club. Tickets are £10, on sale through the club and Jeffersons. Then their monthly music nights continue with The Brightoners on 24th November. Aside from this though, if you’ve a scooter, or just wish to attend ride-outs and meetings, join them on Facebook.

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Glad I popped into The Lamb for a pint now; Vinyl Realm’s maiden voyage into live music evenings, for as I suspected, The Compact Pussycat rocked.

What? Devizine is free, so no, you can’t ask for your money back; a third of a review is all I’ve got in me today, be bloody grateful. I’m here for the love people, but duty calls elsewhere and I’m too old (and scared) to call a sicky.

I ask you; that couple from Vinyl Realm, arranging their first evening of live music…on a Friday; did it with full knowledge I was unlikely to attend I wager! Egg on your faces Pete and Jacki, ha- if only for a pint, I made it anyway, with a grump-on to boot.

As much as it’d thrill me, because of fatigue and this off arrangement, to be highly critical of the evening in the function room of the Lamb, hereafter known to those in the know as The Fold, I couldn’t if I tried.

For what do I find on arrival at my old watering hole? A steady crowd gathering with anticipation, the opening act loitering in the beer garden, but a buzz and welcoming atmosphere about the tavern that they were in for a good night. Yeah, cheers then! I’m not bitter, honest.

Still, I was keen to check out Calne’s Compact Pussycat, as just like this fraction of a review my experience of them is fragmented. I.e.; I’ve seen both drummer Jack Moore and front man Jordan Whatley performing as solo artists but never as their group.

So, think of this as a three-way fold, all you’re getting is the opening third, The Compact Pussycat; deal with it. And my deepest apologies to Pewsey’s middle act, acoustic heroine, Sally Dobson, of whom I had to nip out from and attempt at least ten of my forty winks; even if she’s always so nice and chatty to me, assisting me in my quest to prevent my eyelids from crashing downwards.

Same goes for the headline act, The Cracked Machine, notwithstanding both have recently been under Devizine’s spotlight with blindingly justified album reviews, and of whom I’ve no doubt would’ve put in an outstanding shift at the Fold. Feedback of it has been above excellent.

With the notion the only critical element to Oliver Stone’s biopic of The Doors being Jim Morrison was portrayed as far too serious; yes, responded the surviving members of the band, he was that nuts, but in a good-humoured way the film simply didn’t convey, I enjoyed Jordan’s performance immensely. For he brews in confidence, an attitude of a gothic band of yore, the stage presence of Jim Morrison with said charismatic madcap wit, and the passion of an upcoming demi-god of our local music scene.

Glad I popped in for a pint now, as I suspected The Compact Pussycat rocked, with a stylised and showy performance. It’s a mellowed blues rock of skill which caused Sally concern of how to follow. “Do a lot of floor work,” I suggested, omitting the option of breakdancing for fear of a slap, as Jordan is never motionless in his grand performance. Judge for yourself with my blurry images, he’s either standing on stool, observing the posters on the wall, if not mostly on his knees with passion in his vocals.

So, you’ve got a fairly good picture of the brilliant night at the Fold hosted by Vinyl Realm, if only a third of it. Here’s to the planned future events there and hope I’ll get a Saturday off work for one of them at least!

So, despite my personal situation, live music in Devizes is predominantly on Saturdays, therefore I’d reason the arrangement is welcomed. And as to the Compact Pussycat with their ironic, I feel, name, as nothing was compact neither Pussycat about them; they’re a lion in the hall of local music, hats off to them.

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By Zoe MacMillan

Saturday 29th September sees the village of Seend embrace the vibrancy and culture of Germany as we say goodbye to September & embrace October, with the annual Oktoberfest celebrations.

Last year’s games were such a success that there’s sure to be more of the same this year too with traditional Bavarian games & competitions to help you build up an appetite for our authentic German supper and a variety of German beers to wet your whistle.

And if that wasn’t even to keep you entertained it’s an opportunity to get your ‘Herr’ done (I’m sorry, not sorry for exploiting the opportunity for a cheap gag) release your inner Frau und Freuline, Damen und Herron and get yourself togged up in your lederhosen and Wenches finest (not obligatory, but great fun!) In an attempt to support European relations, we will Finnish up with a good ol’ English knees up and disco.

This is a ticketed event. Tickets are £12.50 to include supper and can be purchased from the Seend Post Office & Community Centre. The evening starts at 19.30. I’ll be there…question is, will you?

Facebook Event Page

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There’re smooth, emotive vocals from the off with this debut EP from Devizes own Nightlights, “Different Pathway” which prompted memories of Simple Minds, and a solid melody which made me think of Tom Petty’s Heartbreakers.

 
Another homemade band so far escaped me. Just how many others of you are out there I’ve still to stumble on? Devizine is just as much a learning curve for me as it is for you, which is nothing but a good thing. Ben and Cam jump to my defence though, explaining “We’ve only been together as a whole band for just over a year now, and have been working hard to craft our sound and practice for gigs.”

For a work-in-progress only stretching a year, Nightlights sound prodigious and tightly polished. There was me thinking this was going to be a run-of-the-mill pub circuit band. And, what’s in a name? I felt Night Lights a tad clichéd, besides not particularly apt coming from a town hardly Blackpool Illuminations, where it’s a tall order to ask the county council to bung on a street light of an evening.

 
Still, I can’t blame twenty-somethings Ben, Nath, James, Tristan and Cam who make up this enthusiastic band, for council spending cutbacks, with the undeniably wonky logic of which switching street lights on when it gets light seems passable. I could ask if they fancy a job at county hall, they seem to have their heads screwed on. Rather though, I inquired if they think their matured sound marries up to my Tom Petty comparison, with nods to an eighties rock vibe, such as U2 and level 42, etc. I mean, what are these guy’s influences for producing such an astoundingly solid debut EP?

“I think Tom Petty is a fair comparison for Free & Sunshine,” they reply, “not sure if any of us really listen him to be honest, so it could just be something we picked up!” I approve this, for between the three tunes “Sunshine” is perhaps the closest, a country-rock riff. “Free,” however comes over blues inspired; be them Rolling Stones me thinks.

 
“Our influences are quite varied,” Cam expressed, “A few of us are into Blues and Classic Rock, so Clapton, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones and Knopfler.” This holds no surprises on hearing these tunes, as even though I state one signals blues while the other country-rock, there’s a definite style with Nightlights which bind them. What followed in our chat did surprise, “Then some of us have more modern influences,” he continued, “like Blur, Gorillaz, Bloc Party. Then there’s other bands and artists like Prince, Tool and Iron Maiden.”

 
Maybe my aging ears erroneous, as I hear Blur possibly, but as far as what’s coming across my speaker, there’s nothing too progressive or “dancey” as Gorillaz, and nothing too heavy for Maiden. These are just three enjoyable, evocative, grooving driving tunes performed fervently and with style. “Yeah,” they explain, “it’s a weird one really. I think we try to take inspiration from the past and move forward with it.” I reckon that works; here’s a sound with the professionalism of old fifty-something rockers, but a fresh breezy approach of youth. Impressive.

 
“It all mixes into a musical bucket,” Ben laughed, “and comes out nicely.”

It neither tinkers with interminable intros or soundscapes for twenty minutes at the close, there’s no special effects, disco synths or samples from a sci-fi movie, just unadulterated rock. Don’t take my word for it, have a listen and I think you’ll agree Night Lights is one to keep an eye on. As while these tunes are fantastically accomplished, it’s an early crease and, I think their magnum opus is yet to come. As with the bands I’ve justifiably compared them too, who rely on that single, signature tune of magnificence, I think it’s only a matter of time before Night Lights trigger that one tune, and you want to be around when it does. Until that moment, Different Pathway is an excellent debut.

 
You can hear with this Soundcloud link; or Spotify link; it’s digital download only, from iTunes and online sources, and they told me, “We usually have copies of it at our gigs where we accept donations for it.”

You can catch them at The Churchill Arms West Lavington on 6th October and at The Black Swan in Devizes with Luke Clements-Mitchell on the 20th October. Like their Facebook page for further updates.

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Macmillan, it’s a support charity, helping people from the moment they get that dreaded message. It’s a helping hand if everyone’s worst nightmare comes true; Macmillan are there to help them through it. Fit, unhealthy, smokers, non-smokers, binge drinkers to tee-total, cancer doesn’t care, it can devastate anyone’s life.

Friday 28th of September and beyond, some on the 27th, others flowing over to Saturday, all these sperate coffee morning, on a mass scale. You’ve seen the adverts, many have got involved.

Me, I thought it’d be nice to mention it, and let you know the local places taking part. So, I put a post on local groups at the ol’ book of face, encouraging those participating to let me know, so I could compile a comprehensive list here on Devizine.

I then went over to the website where you can check who is taking part in your area, to see if there was any I may have missed. Boy, was I shocked, that filtered for SN10 results came up with a staggering 5,008 different events; that’s a lot of coffee.

Too much for me I’m afraid, I’m a tea kinda guy and so much as a coffee flavoured chocolate turns my nose up. But what’s in a name? There’s tea and, and, yeah; cake, to twist any arm. The charity even provides a start-up kit with cake recipes. Schools, community halls, pubs and perhaps a coffee shop or three are rallying to the cause.

So, given I’ve no intention of listing them all, here’s the ones who replied to the post, alphabetically so there’s no arguments, cake throwing and crying over spilt latte; but do check the website here, where there’s details of all events taking place. All listed below are believed to be on 28th unless otherwise stated.

The Barge at Seend
Bewitched Beauty Salon in New Park Street Devizes
Bulkington Village Hall (29th)
Charlton Baker in Snuff Street
Ferndale Dental Clinic, Estcourt Street Devizes
Nursteed Primary School
Seend Community Centre
Three Crowns, Devizes (27th)
Times Square, Market Place, Devizes
Wiltshire Museum, Long Street Devizes

But it’s not just organisations taking part, some do a coffee morning in their own homes,  as Nazile Matthews pointed out, it’s all round to her mum’s at 1 Longcroft Avenue, Devizes. Put the kettle on Nazile’s mum, and the best of luck with all these super fundraising coffee mornings.

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Just three points between them saw the Saddlebacks lose over Walcot this Saturday, but by the evening the Sports Club came up trumps as the polished sound of electric blues blessed wall to wall; Beaux Gris Gris & The Apocalypse came to rock, and did with a passion. Not before local blues legend Jon Amor eased the crowd in with his own entertaining, and often amusing compositions, one such inspired by shenanigans of his youth in Devizes, “Just Another Stitch in You Party Dress.”

There was tight professionalism and even balance for a band only formed a year ago, with members spread across the pond. Smiling in an airy back room, dynamic front girl, Greta Valenti clarified she grew up in Louisiana, hence the New Orleans blues label, but now lives in California. “That’s how it all started,” she begun, “because Robin wanted to do a blues project, so I said only if it’s in a Louisiana style.”

Guitarist and UK British Blues Hall of Fame inductee, Robin Davey of The Hoax, who had worked with Greta in the band Well Hung Heart, has dual citizenship, now residing in California. “Technically,” Greta informed, there’s four Americans and one British in the band.”

Already smitten with her iridescent azure bob and striking accent, I was keen to ask Greta how they overcome the distance. “Well, the first time we started writing songs it was just me, Ali, and Robin,” she explained, “just doing recordings with our phones and sending them over to Bob Fridzema, and Mark [Barrett.]” I shrugged, yep; so easy now with the internet. But Greta continued, “we had one practise before we went on tour. This time though, we flew Mark over to California to do a couple of shows over there and, yeah, now we’re here!” Opening their new tour only for a night in Devizes though, as this morning saw them land in Holland for the Breda Barst Festival.

Not hanging around, the tour is promoting their debut album; “Don’t let the Bastards Drag you Down,” surprisingly released just, “a couple of days ago,” Greta smiled. “Yeah, and we’ll go from there, we needed the album so people know who we are, as we’ve just put out a video for Heartbreaker.”

The only reference I came into the interview with though, was the video of the title track, which, to me, heralded an evident country inspiration to their blues panache. So, I was surprised on asking Greta the band’s influences that Motown popped up. She stumbled on this question, but without pretention, more pride in her band, she replied, “umm, this question is always hard; everything, I dunno, everyone here, our band!” Still struggling she murmured, “Nick Cave meets Louisiana Blues meets, ermm, gypsy and a little bit of Motown soul.” The third song into the set, I could sense the soul influence, with a sprinkling of swing too, divergent from the punk attitude I preconceived; still, it was kick-ass!

We continued to discuss, how when it came down to blue’s level, all these genres blend effortlessly, as it is, after all, the root of all of them. For some reason I babbled a bit about friends arguing over ska and metal, but with this in mind, mentioning how Fats Domino would’ve influenced both, it’s all one and the same thing at base level; Greta agreed. Here then is why we need to throw off preconceptions about blues as a genre, and Beaux Gris Gris are a prime example, breaking that down and redefining blues with nods to its contemporary offshoots, and bringing those genres crashing back to blues, stylishly. For no matter what offshoots this band referenced, it always returned to raw and spirited electric blues.

There was clearly a connection akin to Ray Manzarek and John Densmore of the Doors, with (drummer from the Hoax,) Mark Barrett, and Bob Fridzema (of King King and Joanne Shaw Taylor) on keys, as members subjugated entrancing and convoluted instrumental breaks. Vocally Greta and Ali mimicked this, stripping down a track, Thrill Me to the minimum and spellbinding the crowd.

Meanwhile Robin broke the fourth wall by stepping into the dancers with sublime guitar solos, at one point gathering chairs for the few still sitting to be moved closer to the action. Irish-American singer-songwriter in her own right, Ali Coyle shone on bass guitar and support vocals, and binding the team together for this awesome show, Greta has the kick-ass attitude of Gwen Stefani but the style and grace of Lulu, and a powerful vocal range to prompt me to think of Aretha Franklin performing Rock Steady.

Still, the punchy title track, which was performed with grace last, I had to ask, I mean, not paranoid or anything, just to elucidate, “who are the bastards, or is that a too obvious question?!”

“Well,” Greta considered her answer, “I think we all have our own bastards, in America there’s probably a particular bastard, an orange-coloured bastard.” I assured her he’s not predominantly liked here either. An interruption broke our chain of thought, I tried to clarify, it wasn’t a direct link to Trump, rather more general. “We just felt like it’s a way a lot of people feel at this time, in a lot of different places. But if it’s not those bastards, it’s your boss at work, or, you know.”

So, who’s writing? “A lot of the songs I write the melodies and lyrics, Ali wrote one she bought into the group, others we wrote together, Robin wrote Bastards.” So, like the composition of the band, it’s an amalgamation. It’s this shareware ethos which bonds the band and gave us this unforgettable performance. The encore of which saw Jon Amor invited back, concluding with a mutually respectful guitar-off for want of a better term, against Davey.

 
While I chatted to John about the prospects of another Saddleback, which was confirmed for next summer, I was keen to ask organiser Mirko, if this was part of a series of smaller “Saddleback Presents” nights, of which he confirmed another is due in November. If this then, is the only the beginning of autumn for Saddleback events, it’s going to be a most welcomed stormy fall.

Follow Beaux Gris Gris on Facebook

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I try out an e-bike, chat about environmental issues and Green Drinks events with Sustainable Devizes chairman, John Schofield.

Firstly, a massive shout out to Jenny Dalton and the other members of the Seend Pork Pie Cycling Club, who, pie-fuelled, are zooming through the Deloitte Ride Across Britain, again! Last social media post saw them on day 4, from Ludlow to Haydock. In a couple of words; “bugger that,” perhaps adding “for a laugh,” for good measure.

 
As I’ve harked on previously, cycling is simply not my cup of tea; a cup of tea, maybe a bourbon biscuit is much more my cup of tea. An attempt to cycle the couple of miles to work a few years ago confirmed my loathing and total handicap for the pastime, when the handlebars collapsed on me.

 
This followed an episode where I struggled to cycle the steep track to the Caen Hill Lock carpark, only mounting the darn thing upon arriving at a break in the bushes, so people wouldn’t see me pushing it with an expression of failure smeared across my sad and exhausted mug. I just haven’t got what it takes; fact. I got as far down the canal as Foxhangers but, stuff the fox, I was the one hanging. An elderly couple breezed past me, the gent telling his wife, “we’ve done eight thousand miles this morning, maybe we should stop for a quick break?” Go on, geroff with yer!

 
Never say never though; the chairman of Sustainable Devizes stands at my front door in his Lycra, missing one bicycle. John Schofield has cycled from Bromham this clement afternoon, to let me try his e-bike; I did warn him past experience on this mode of transport was as wobbly as my balance.

So, I’m taking a quick trip around my estate, passing by the house and yelling, “this is so much easier!” Because it is; I could, at a push, make it to work, and back, alive, perhaps even further. “E-bikes are great at flattening out the hills!” John told me. So, if a slob like me can push extreme boundaries, just think what you could do with an e-bike; save the environment, not forgetting zipping past all those frustrated drivers, wedged in traffic in Devizes; the only movement they make is their fingers across phones, tapping out a whinging post for Facebook.

 
How apt under current traffic conditions in town, for the first in this season’s talks from Sustainable Devizes, on October 17th, on the subject of how to convert a bicycle into an e-bike. “Basically, it’s a bicycle with an added electric motor and battery,” John explained, and for all intents and purposes it resembles an average bike, the water bottle replaced with a battery and a neatly hidden motor at the pedals. “Legally the motor should only be activated when you pedal, so it gives assistance,” he continued, averting my fear it’d zoom away like a jet-ski! “Also, the motor must cut out when you reach 25kph,” as if I would contemplate that speed!

 
As it’s still a bike, you don’t need a license or insurance. But the million-dollar question is cost. After browsing a website and noting to buy an e-bike weighs in over 3 grand, John stressed it’s around £400 for a conversion kit.

We moved onto my own electric work vehicle, my trusty milk float. I was keen to ask, without getting overly political, “if a vehicle in the 1970s can be electric, shouldn’t they all be by now?” Does John think it’s oil industry backhanders preventing the growth of this, and many other greener solutions? “It is interesting that even after Tesla showed the world how to make great electric cars,” he replied, “the main manufacturers really haven’t got on with it. There has to be some pressure on them from the oil industry.”

 
Like many green issues, they don’t get the funding, something is amiss.

The bottom line, I feel, is the need to obliterate the concept that environmental issues are a bunch of whinging tree-huggers making a whole lot of fuss, and except change is overdue. I ask you what has a scientist to gain from lying, his pursuit only to discover how and why things function? A two-part question, the latter half being, now consider what a politician, hell bent on elevation up the ranks and wealth, has for lying? Beggar’s belief, it really is!

 
Still, knee-deep in water middle-Americans adopt the ethos it’s God punishing them for electing a Muslim president, and good old Trump will don a cloak, wear his underpants on the outside and save the day. It is no hoax, you blithering idiot. It’s not a paranoid hippy trip-out. Sustainable Devizes is not a registered charity, not a company out for financial expansion, least simply a social committee of likeminded individuals keen for change.

Electric cars and bikes just one of the many issues they discuss. “The previous chairman did petition the council for more charging points,” John explains, “Some of the members have written to various supermarkets to try to get them to put in charging points.” For I feel batteries running out is a point many worry about with electric vehicles. For John’s trusty bike though, with a range of 25+ miles, the battery has never run out, and if it did, he’d just cycle it home!

 
I sigh, wondering if I’m only preaching to the converted here, pondering if anyone who needs to change their ways will read thus far. For John has organised a regular social happening, aside from the Sustainable group, called “Green Drinks.” It’s basically a less formal pub beano where anyone with so much as a passing interest in environmental issues can meet and chat. “Green Drinks is more about socialising with people who either work in environmental fields, or who just care about the environment. It’s nice sometimes not to feel that the meeting has to be organising some way of changing the world,” John clarified.

“Such events happen in towns all over the world,” (http://www.greendrinks.org/) “So I thought I’d see if anyone in Devizes was up for it.” The first meet saw five turn up at the Vaults, discussing a range of topics from the political situation, to how to cope with slugs attacking your vegetables. John is aiming for the first Wednesday of every month, although this subject to change as it may clash with meetings from Sustainable Devizes.

 
For now, the next green shindig will be at the Vaults starting at 7:30pm on Wednesday 3rd October; all welcome, just look for the Green Drinks flag!

For info on Sustainable Devizes and details of upcoming events Click Here.

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The week before the end of the school holidays and it was time for the attack to commence. A Lego spaceship was poised over Lego town, lasers set to kill. The suburban metropolis I’d taken all holiday to create was about to meet its annual apocalypse. Dad called it to action; “tidy up your bricks, now!”

At the start of the summer break each year I’d plan my town. Sadly, I actually drew up blueprints of the road layout, considered the geographical position of essential services such as the train and fire station and strategically designed its infrastructure; no slapdash, nothing left to chance. It was Sim City before Sim City. It was in fact, also Minecraft, Roblox and at times like this, Grand Theft Auto.

To say I loved Lego was an understatement; it’s was beyond a toy, it was the outlet for creative juices to flow, it was a magical realm where I could play out all my imaginings, it was, in short, whatever I wanted it to be.

My Dad saved up for a holiday in Denmark because of this obsession; no Legoland in Windsor back then. He drove to Brighton to stop my pleas to visit the Lego Show, and spent a small fortune so that I may have two humongous boxes of bricks, a train, and much more. But it seemed I wasn’t alone, it took him some convincing when I became the Dad that he should surrender the boxes so his grandkids (and I) could play with them.

His argument, it was something they could play with when they came to visit flawed upon arriving; he sat up for what must have been weeks, constructing the train, the garage et-all, so, he claimed, it was ready for when they came; he wasn’t fooling anyone.

Seems those inventive bricks are adored by all who connect them, Top Gear presenter James May made an actual house with them, Bugatti recently made a real working car too, and I’m glad my children now love them, building on the collection I passed down. If they ask me to help I’m down on the carpet before you can say Ole Kirk Christiansen du er en gud.

What astounds me as a grownup is their business acumen. Their ideas hidden from competition with military precision, their marketing second-to-none, and in all my years of buying Lego models never once, ever, has the product been faulty or missing a single tiny piece. Lego is flawless.

But if I thought I was an obsessive, I hadn’t seen anything until I visited the Steam Museum’s Lego show a few years back. There were “adults” there who paled my interest in Lego by comparison. They built a wide variety of awesome models, some pitched their own compatible ingenious inventions, or sold collections the like you’ve never seen.

But the outing was a double-whammy, for you get to explore the brilliant interactive museum of the GWR; where curators worked the factories, only too pleased to elucidate their fascinating memories. In fact, I think my son, six at the time, enjoyed the museum more than the Lego, least if not, just as much.

This is Swindon at its absolute pinnacle, for kids from ages 1 to 101.

Make no mistake this experience wasn’t cheap but if you have even so less as a passing interest in Lego, it’s worth every penny. It’s coming back; the 2018 Great Western Brick Show at Steam is on October 6th and 7th, 10am-5pm. You know everything there will be awesome, and if you’ll ever help Emmet find the piece of resistance, it’s there.

Click for the Great Western Brick Show website

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Must’ve been months ago now, when I dropped into The Cross Keys in Rowde for a feature on the theme of how village pubs need to be the hub of the community, and how landlady Kelly was planning, and so-far achieving that.

 
I confess I only browsed the menu then, propping up the bar and chatting with Kelly, therefore I only passed comment on how appetising it looked. Now, as a family birthday treat, of which I had no intentions of writing a review about (got have some time off eh?!) I’m glad to post an update, simply because it was, as I suspected at the time, so good.

Seated in the bar area, as the Saturday night bookings filled the restaurant area, was no bad thing; the football was on, my daughter’s ideal viewing, Man City (yeah, I know, I can’t expect her to transfer to West Ham on the best of seasons let alone now.) Also, the bar area is, as we wished for, the hub of our village, inviting and friendly.

 
Save it to say, in the past when chef Rob Philpot run that kitchen like clockwork, producing the best pub grub I’ve tasted, the Cross Keys has a reputation to uphold. It’s a rep that has waned at times, but risen like a phoenix out of the ashes again. If high standard home-cooked pub grub is what you favour, that is what you’re going to get, in ample quantity.

 
The better half had a burger, homecooked and stacked with onion rings it made me ponder if I’d made the right choice with the lasagne. Lo-and-behold though, the lasagne was also a homemade beauty. In a deep dish using mozzarella as opposed to some felonious pubs which use cheddar, it was positively oozing with flavour, with garlic bread toasted to perfection.

I don’t why I needed to order sweet potato fries and onion rings as a side order, because even though they were fresh and homemade too, I couldn’t finish them. One of my Gran’s annotations, “Yer eyes are bigger than your belly,” is most apt on this occasion, despite the confusion in taking it literally as a child.

 
Talking of kids, my daughter was catered for, chips swapped for a jacket potato as she required, and it was plentiful. She reported it as tasty, and it only ended in a clean plate, allowing room for a sundae, naturally. Pudding would’ve been dangerous for me though, I was close to exploding and half a bowl full of sweet potato chips still peered deviously at me, inviting me to pick at them as pudding. they were sweet enough, but imaginings of Mr Creosote from Monty Python’s Meaning of Life haunted me.

 
If this is what the everyday menu is like, it leaves positive dreams of the renowned Sunday carvery . I’ve been recommended the pizzas here too, but we’d had pizza the previous night; spoiled rotten I am.

Kelly herself was assisting Dan in the kitchen, but popped all smiles only to notice it was me, and as so often happens these days, her expression changed to “please, be nice!” I don’t know why people do this, I know I’ve built a character which tells it as it is, for if I didn’t it’d get boring and unreliable, but especially I don’t know why when they’ve nothing to fear, as the commitment they put in, prior to realising it’s that nasty bloke who writes that darn website, is excellent! I gave her a thumbs-up across the bar and the smiles promptly returned.

 
The menu may be standard pub dishes, but there’s been no corners cut to bring to a level of high standards, price-wise is also standard but with quality as generous as this, we left a couple of pints down, content and intending to return. As for Kelly and her welcoming staff, they seem to enjoy breathing life into these walls, which only comes as a valid bonus.

Cross Keys, Rowde: booking recommended; click here

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“Earth has not anything to show more fair:
Dull would he be of soul who could pass by
A sight so touching in its majesty.”

Oh, do one Wordsworth; we’re due for another heatwave till November; it’s as true as I sit here in my khaki summer shorts…. read it in the Sunday Express. Autumn ain’t arrived yet I tells you, summer is having a laugh.

 
Talking of having a laugh, we kick this month off with The Moonrakers Comedy Night at the Cellar Bar on Thursday (6th) Check out the preview for it here. Same day Festival Number 6 begins in Wales, see, festival, still summer!

Friday 7th sees the opening of a new season at The Wharf Theatre, Devizes, with The Johnny Cash Story.

Also, there be stuff happening in Poulshot, ‘Between You and Me’, is an evening of words, songs, comedy and audience participation, with ‘the Bard of Barnsley’ Ian McMillan and Luke Carver Goss. Ian McMillan is a poet, journalist, playwright, and broadcaster. He is known for his strong and distinctive Barnsley accent, and his incisive, friendly interview style on programmes such as “The Verb”. A frequent national TV and Radio star, Ian is including Poulshot as part of his UK Tour.

 
Goatfest kicks off Friday for the weekend. No, you don’t need to bring a goat, it’s called that cos it’s at Goatacre, Dumbo. Acts include Jenny Bracey, The Chaos Brothers, The Shadow Monkeys, Leon Daye, Six O’clock Circus, The Ukey Dukes, Spidasense, Ruff Diamond, Manhattan Nights, Clark & The Kryptonites, Mick O’Toole and Catholic Action. There’s camping available, book here.

English-American songwriters Jack Rose and Dom Sky are Govardo, they started writing songs while living in rural India, inspiring a fresh sound rooted in classic finger style guitar and harmonies with soaring vocals and a unique falsetto; catch them at the Pounds Arts, Corsham.

 
If it’s a bit of upbeat reggae and ska you’re after, get down the Vic in Swindon where the SN Dubstation will skank you till you drop. Failing that, Bon Jovi tribute Wrong Jovi is live at the Swiss Chalet. You’ll be lucky to get tickets for this one but Garbage play St Phillips Gate in Bristol too.

Saturday 8th the park will be glowing at Longleat. Here in town, you can catch country legend Zenne for an afternoon in Vinyl Realm, until she plays the Ragged Old Flag in Calne.

 
The legendary Long Street Blues Club kicks off its 11th season in style, with Hamilton Loomis. Alternatively, Sunset Service are live at The Southgate.

There’s a Summer BBQ (see!) in Easterton, the Melksham Assembly Rooms have Fleetwood Bac tribute band. The Triple JD Band are at Three Horseshoes, Bradford, and Mike Vernon & The Mighty Combo @ Market Lavington Community Hall.

Over in Swindon, check The Roughcut Rebels at the Brown Jack, and there’s Swindon Dub Club at the Afro Caribbean Centre….. or if dub isn’t your thang, how about the Frome Cheese Show?

 
Sunday 9th starts the legendary carnival period in Pewsey with the Carnival Light Switch On and a Band Concert. If you want bands though, Devizes Town Band are at Hillworth for the Proms in the Park.

Over in Bromham, it’s a free food fest; Taste Wiltshire 2018; preview here. Run it all of at The Nationwide New Swindon Half Marathon; not for me, if you’re in Swindon I’d only run as far as the Kings, where Gouldy and Caff (aka Sound Affects) are performing. The The at St Phillips Gate, Bristol though; cool.

 
Skip to Wednesday 12th as with every Wednesday there’s an Acoustic Jam Night at The Southgate, Devizes. Carnival Whist Drive @ Hillcott. Murder On The Orient Express (12A) @ Marlborough Town Hall.

 
Thursday 13th and those Sheer Music lot Presents Crazy Arm with 2 Sick Monkeys at the Vic, Swindon.

 
Friday 14th is the start of Sky Safari, Longlet’s Balloon Festival which continues all weekend. In town, The Astral Ponies & The Bone Chapel come highly recommended, at The Cellar Bar. But spoiled for choice, I’ve got The Roughcut Rebels at the Lamb, Devizes, but also Sheer Music are at the Fold with Nick Parker, Olivia Awbrey & Mike Barham.

 
Melksham Assembly Hall has Voodoo Room, a tribute to the music of Hendrix, Clapton & Cream. Or check out, Big Country with The Chaos Brothers as support @ Swindon Meca. The Urban Lions @ Golden Lion, Bristol.

If you love your comics, Saturday 15th is for you; get to The International Comic Expo, Birmingham. Or maybe just pick up a book at Rowde Village Hall’s Second-Hand Book Sale; 2pm-4pm, Entrance Fee 20p!

 
Pewsey Carnival Duck Race, and Four-Legged Event is a sight to be seen though!

 
Saddleback are back at Devizes Sports Club, with the incredible Beaux Gris Gris & The Apocalypse; preview here. There’s the return of the Under 16s Disco @ The Exchange too.

 
Just out of town, Indecision play The Owl, Bromham, and it’s The Seend Summer Ball.

Marlborough goes mod, with Peloton live at The Lamb. While The Village Pump in Trowbridge hosts Sheer Music’s Jacob & Drinkwater with our Tamsin Quin.

 
Further out, it’s the Berwick St John Country Fayre, The Big Thirst at Bradford on Avon, and the wonderful People Like Us can be seen at The Messenger in Swindon.

 
Polish your Saturday off with a Bath Moonlight Walk for Dorothy House.
Let’s mention Sunday 16th then my dinner will be ready! Pewsey is the officially the place to be: The Great Pewsey Bake Off, Pewsey Flower & Produce Showcase and the Feast Tea at Bouverie Hall.

 
That is unless you’re up for The Foxtrot 5 Road Race at Boughton Gifford, or getting down to some country, as Angels With Dirty Faces are playing the Devizes CMC down the Cons Club.

 
I don’t know about you, but I can’t stand my angels with nice clean faces.

Check out our event calendar for more details and links to these fantastic events, and if you think that’s about enough, you’ve not seen how the second half of September hots up……… TO BE CONTINUED……………….

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