Category: opinion

A Chat with Melksham-Devizes Labour Candidate Kerry Postlewhite

Here comes another slice of tree through my letterbox, I receive two or three per day, all from the Conservatives; I love the overkill of desperation in the morning! This time, apparently, Keir Starmer wants me to vote Lib Dem, yesterday it he wanted me to vote Reform; just what does Keir Starmer want me to do?!

The answer to this cannot be found on a publicity pamphlet from his opposition, and the audacity of the author of it to assume we’re foolish enough to think that it could is an insult to our intelligence, and one damn good reason not to vote Conservative, amidst a kazillion others. No, I’m having a cuppa again, this time with our Labour candidate Kerry Postlewhite.

It was the chat I was most anxious about, as my belief as working class the Labour Party is the party for me, seems contradictory to modern assumption which sees our poorest voting blue, ignorant to how they’re shafting them, and this postulation there’s turmoil in Labour dividing them between the leftwing opinion of Corbyn and the middle-ground of Starmer. I questioned Kerry of the latter, but she denied such matter, assuring me, “I’m not sure the Labour Party is divided. I think it’s quite clear we’re all united behind Keir Starmer, our shadow cabinet and our programme for government. I’ve been a member of the Labour Party for a long time, and I think the sense of unity and the sense of purpose is strong this time because we know what the last fourteen years has meant to ordinary families, to working families, and it is our duty to unite. It isn’t about leaning into the left or right, it’s about leaning into where the British people are and the change they need right now. And I think that’s exactly where we are now.”

Oh dear, have even I succumbed to the propaganda machine of Tory cronies?!

“I think the results that two general elections showed you, that the programme the Labour Party and Jeremy Corbyn was offering to ordinary working people then was not the programme they were prepared to support.” I supposed she was right, even if I thought he was fab and groovy!!

You should note this interview took place before the hustings in Devizes, where the mighty clashed, and Noel’s camcorder flashed! Whilst I salute Noel and the organisers, I favour to chat, and get to know them on an individual basis, therefore while these transcripts are lengthy, they’re insightful and worth persevering with should you wish to really get an in-depth angle on who you’re voting for. And there’s the thing, Kerry instantly quashed my anxiety, and her charismatic persona made me feel I was gassing with an old friend.

We spoke casually for longer than the others because Kerry had ordered food to fuel her busy day on the campaign trail, and I waited for her to finish. She had sat downstairs for this, though I requested we move upstairs where it is quieter. Assisting her with her coat and clipboard broke the ice and stood us on an even level I only teetered on with Brian. Though he was professional till the end, and magnified the perfect host with interesting anecdotes, Kerry would do similar once we got down to business, such was skill in her demeanour to switch between expertise and friendliness. Clearly, Labour have not just posted any ol’ oddball into the job, to fill a lost cause in this historically Tory haven, and Labour is far from a helpless wounded animal as the opposition may have you believe.

It was something in informal chatting afterwards which really won it for me, wondering why Kerry didn’t bring this up before. We were dismissing this delusional, tarnishing with the same brush idea Gen Z were demonic hooligans, and I mentioned my view on lowering the voting age. Kerry delighted by informing me it was in Labour’s manifesto to lower it to sixteen. While it matters nothing to me personally, being in my fifties, I’m not such a grumpy old fart to be ignorant giving youth a say on how the country is managed is far fairer than not and sending them off for slave labour camouflaged as National Service. 

In our chat with Brian last Tuesday, I said if he could win this it would be as historical as the Battle of Roundway, being the last time the Conservatives lost this seat was to a Liberal in 1923, but if Kerry wins, it would be greater in significance, being no Labour candidate has ever won here.  I asked Kerry how she felt about the possibility, giving her multiple choices of extreme optimism, excitement, dread, or something else!

“I guess a mixture,” Kerry said. “How amazing would it be. It’s a new constituency, so it’s an opportunity for a fresh start and a new Member of Parliament. It will be an uphill fight, but we’ve been out, talking to people, and one of the things we are hearing repeatedly is people who have always voted Conservative and never done anything else here are not prepared to do it again because of everything that’s happened over the last fourteen years, the last five years in particular, I think.”

“So it’s up to us, I guess, to convince them they can place their trust in the Labour Party for the first time in this area, and that we are offering change in a way that is meaningful to them and their lives and their families, and it will be different from everything they’re now turning their backs on, so that is exciting. It’s also quite humbling, because we’re not in a situation where we’re able to take anything for granted. We do have to go out and really win those votes.”

“There was a report published yesterday, I think, which we’re talking about on the radio this morning, about general mistrust in politics. I think this is a real opportunity to win back that trust. It’s going to be a slow process, and people are going to have to see you walk the walk, not just talking the talk. And I think for me, a lot of it is genuinely listening to people and not making assumptions that everybody who lives in the Melksham and Devizes constituency is a Conservative, or thinks in one way, or votes in one way; genuinely listening to them, meeting them where they are and hearing their stories and experiences, and connecting those to politics, policies and the way forward.”

Kerry talked on a different approach to the current, thankfully, comparable to her ten years in the European Parliament, “where people with different political parties and political families, different beliefs must work together to make the best law; there isn’t an inbuilt majority, that’s the nature of the beast. You must find common ground and you have to work together to find the best solution, because it is divided by countries, languages and all sorts of different interests. I think that’s even more important here, in an area that traditionally has supported one party. It’s not about saying you’re different. We’re different. It’s about saying we find common ground and do politics differently.”

Modernising Westminster, “maturing it in a progressive way,” Kerry continued onto, transforming the House of Lords, ridding it of “archaic barriers, that literally put people on one side of the room and on the other side of the room, and chat to each other. I don’t think that’s how people want politics done. I think they want it done in a grownup mature and cooperative way; the way that we solve problems at work or in life, you know?”

“We work together to find solutions and I find that an exciting way of doing things. I’m excited by this, which isn’t a manifesto, this is my personal view. I’m really excited by some of the experiments which have happened with citizens assemblies, so bringing representative groups of people together in communities to find solutions to local problems and talk them out. How are we going to further the agricultural industry in our area, for example, how are we going to make sure this housing development works for us, the community, how are we going to mitigate climate change, and doing such together with representatives of the people is what excites me; a new way, I think, that fits in the never having had a Labour MP here. It’s how we could be in different scenarios, so let’s use that different scenario to do our politics differently.”

See? I like Kerry, surely even the most traditional locals cannot deny we’re overdue a change. I asked Kerry how she felt about the Devizes-Melksham Primary, and the strategically voting ideal they promote.

“I think maybe let’s separate the two things. The idea of the Devizes-Melksham Primary, I would always welcome active citizens who want to organise themselves, who want to get involved in local democracy and have a say over local democracy, that’s fantastic. We need more active citizens. So the concept of having an organisation like the Primary I think  is laudable. When it comes to strategically voting or tactically voting, I think people must vote in the way that they think is right for them, for their families and for their communities, and that should be the deciding factor.”

“Personally, I think there’s a strong case for looking at our electoral system, so people don’t have to make those decisions about what to do, So that every individual’s vote counts whatever the electoral geography. Because everything that has happened over the last fourteen years, because of the situation that this country is now in where nothing works, literally everything is broken and we have volunteers and communities like this one holding vital services together means it is a once in a generational election, and when it is a once in a generation election, you do have to vote with your head and your heart and put your cross in the box for the person and the party that you think is going to represent you best at Westminster. And play a part in shaping laws so that they work for small towns and rural communities and people here have a have a voice in shaping those laws, and, I think, that’s another reason why Westminster needs modernising. One of the things that I do professionally is work to influence laws, most recently in animal welfare, and it’s an arcane process at Westminster. It’s not transparent.”

I likened it to the bickering brawl of a school playground. Kerry referred to the pros and cons of having “the mother of all Parliaments,” and told me how she volunteered in Zambia for several years, comparing their government to ours for being stuck in the past,  exampling “the adversarial set of the building to the chanting at prime ministers questions, to the way in which bill committees work, for example, where only a number of amendments are accepted by the speaker, the committee reflects the proportions of Parliament and it’s therefore the Minister and the bill committee and the Government of the day that decides whether an amendment is accepted or not, goes through or not, to trooping through two lobbies to decide how you vote. I think there are a lot of things that could be done to modernise Parliament to make it more accessible to the electorate, to make it more transparent and more accountable and more fit for purpose.”

Never say never was the approach of the last Labour candidate Rachel’s hopes of winning here, and Kerry agreed.  “I think the thing that really stands out in in this election in this area, is we put our faith and we have always put our faith and our families have always put their faith in the Conservative Party but that has been abused, and we cannot, and will not do that again. I think I must demonstrate that the Labour Party will deliver for areas like this one and deserve those votes. One of the problems with strategic tactical voting issue is that, for me, it almost becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. So if people do that one time, they do it the next time, the next time, and they never then have the opportunity to allow themselves to change and vote for the other.”

Kerry was born in the North-East of England and moved to Trowbridge at primary school age. She studied in Yorkshire after living just over the border in Somerset , took a job in local government in London and worked in education. She moved to Brussels to work in the European Parliament, then went over to Zambia to volunteer with an NGO, coming back again to Radstock for family needs Kerry and her partner now live near  Ross-on-Wye but she has many family connections here. She talked about one of her earliest smelly memories of the Harris Bacon factory in Calne when she spent summer holidays with family there! I ask this question to all because Danny Kruger being hoisted in for the Conservatives never bode well with locals, and him never relocating here doubled it. I think people like to know the MP has local connections, and Kerry said that if she won the seat she would of course move here. But what of local policies? The health centre cropped up again.

Just as with Catherine and Brian, the failing of local health infrastructure, the closing of the hospital in Devizes, and improving the lack of facilities at the new health centre was high on their election pledges. “There did used to be A&E, and beds for the elderly, but all of that has now gone; you must make a journey to Chippenham, Swindon, or Bath and the time that takes, a difficult bus journey, particularly for older people and the cost too. The fact that if you are then hospitalised, you are a long way away from family and friends. So I think that would have to be a huge priority for me. And I’m quite excited by the fact the Labour Shadow Health Secretary was talking about community-based healthcare, be that physical health or mental healthcare, and I think this is a huge priority for this community, to make sure we have this kind of provision, that it’s more accessible, particularly for the elderly.”

Prime time to play devil’s advocate in line with the common criticisms of Labour, how do we how do we fund more money for the NHS? “The Labour Party has been clear that there are no plans to raise taxes for working people and that the money will be found in a range of ways. For our immediate priorities of cutting waiting lists, doubling cancer scanners, a dentistry recovery plan and the return of the family doctor we’re going to make sure that those with the broadest shoulders, non-doms for example, pay. We are going to stabilise and grow the economy to invest in public services.  So, for example, for Great British Energy, we will put in place a windfall tax on fossil fuel companies who’ve been looking at huge profits whilst our bills have been skyrocketing over the past years, so we can get clean power and lower bills. One of the things we’ve been clear about is that we’re talking about a decade of national renewal; none of these problems are going to be solved overnight because of the situation we’re inheriting, which economically is not great.”

 And education, I asked, which is where our chat will end, but progressed unofficially onto this voting age reduction I mentioned at the start. I put it to Kerry that the education system in the same place as the NHS, it needs an overview, a review.

“I think we need to do both, so we need to make sure that we’re retaining the teachers that we have, but one of the things that we have committed to in our first six steps is to introduce 6,500 new teachers, particularly in those subjects that currently are seeing insufficient numbers of teachers in those STEM subjects, for example, and hopefully the recruitment of those new teachers will help to support those existing teachers who currently are being spread too thinly. I think the other thing that is exciting is our commitment to broaden education the curriculum, so it’s fit for the 21st century, looking at some of those modern skills children need. Look also at the cultural industries, so the cultural industries are a major engine of economic growth in the UK, our curriculum needs to reflect those things.”

My annoyance flared with the current conservative system whereby schools are being run like businesses and I welcomed such a consultation, hoping to unify and implement a national system of equality in schools. But in this, a change in our methods in general, with Labour, will we be moving away from privatisation?

“We have committed to a new rail system, so when current franchises expire or if the companies are in breach of contract, we have said that they will now come into a new arm’s length public national rail body that will run our rail services in a way that works for passengers and taxpayers

I didn’t want to talk about poo in our rivers, fun as it might be, people were eating their lunch, but while it may be scatological subject of mirth, it’s also a nail in the coffin for Tories. Does this include water companies as well?

“So for water companies,” Kerry expressed, “it’s an outrage that they have been able to dump sewage in our waterways and jeopardise health and environment. The figures here are appalling. Under Labour, the situation will be, not paying bonuses to chiefs of water companies where it’s been shown that they have broken their terms and there is pollution going into our waterways. We will also strengthen the regulator and give it real teeth to fight back, on behalf of the public to make sure we clean up our rivers and our waterways.”

Kerry’s answers were defined by professionalism despite her capability of making you feel she was honest, earnest and pleasant. This doesn’t help my dilemma of where to put my cross, being Brian and Catherine I also liked. But one thing I’m certain of, a vote for either one of these candidates is a vote well spent. As for the strategic vote against the voting with your heart debate, I think it’s not so important now, because whichever way you decide, in either of these three candidates we will have a fine MP prepared to embrace honest and necessary change.

I thank Kerry for her valuable time to chat with me and wish her all the best in what could be an exciting, interesting and historic election, especially locally.

Our Chat with Brian Mathew of Lib Dems
Our Chat with Catherine Read of Green Party

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A Chat With Lib Dem Candidate for Melksham & Devizes, Brian Matthew

You know I’m a lady’s man but nestled between chats with Green Party candidate Catherine and our forthcoming one with Kerry of Labour, I’m with the Liberal Democrat candidate for Melksham-Devizes, Brian Mathew. So no flirting this time, straight political chat!

Obviously not as handsome as me, but Brian is one wise gent with a fascinating backstory, and he’s highly likely to be our MP! He can talk for England, but rather than Fishy Rishi’s desperately inane whimpering, everything he said warmed me to the idea of putting my cross in the yellow box. It was intelligent, reflective and held an air of compassion.

Fresh from a previous interview where he expressed their questions were rather standard, he was off waffling policies like a greyhound out of the trap before I even poured the milk into my tea! Imagine his surprise when I interjected, “so, question one; you’re going to win this, right?!”

“Well, it would be amazing if I did, wouldn’t it? Yeah!” was his response, perhaps wishing he’d gone on Newsnight instead. I didn’t waiver, continuing with the thought it would be as historical as the Battle of Roundway! Brian believed there was a previous Liberal who won; story checks out, albeit the last time Conservatives lost the original Devizes constituency it was to a Liberal called Eric MacFadyen, in 1923!

Clearly there’s work to be done, but after a few minutes I was convinced, Brian was the chap to do it, and he added the fact this was a new constituency. “I mean whereas in the past it was one Devizes and the hinterland to the East, now it’s the West, stretching all the way to Box and Colerne,” he said, “which is where I’m butcher councillor, down to Bradford-on-Avon, which is pretty solidly Lib Dem across to Melksham where we’ve won the last five town council elections, and then over to here and the Lavingtons.”

He discredited my suspicions it was a Tory strategic moving of the goalposts. “The Boundary Commission are independent, right? So their priority is to get every constituency in the UK to have the same number of people. You know, seventy-odd thousand. So that’s why they’ve done this shift.” But is Brian happy with it?

“I was to start with. Everyone was up in arms in Box, thinking ‘we don’t want to lose where we were.’ In that neck of the woods, of course, they see themselves as part of the Cotswolds, which they are, but now I’ve got selected, I’m rather enjoying this new constituency. In fact, I’ve never had so much fun in an election! Hope I’m allowed to say that?! But seriously, I’ve stood several times before; first in 2010, against Liam Fox in North Somerset.”

He continued, “after that I disappeared and went back to what I do for a living.” Brian is an engineer, and he told me about running Water Aid in Tanzania, “but they wanted someone to help with their programme in East Timor, so I went for a year and a half, and it was just delightful.”

A lengthy yet fascinating story he relayed, about putting in water schemes through the mountains with World Vision, their ongoing political struggles, their brief independence and invasion by Indonesia, and how he returned to see how the project had helped the mountain farmers there. “People would walk down into the valley,” he informed, “it was usually the children and mothers who would do this, and then walk all the back way up carrying water on their heads, which was usually filthy, and they’d end up with kids with diarrhoea and all kinds. We were putting in water supplies through the mountains to reach communities that had never had a tap before. And what was lovely was going back there six months later and talking with one of the farmers.”

If my intentions of these chats are informal, with a focus on the candidates rather than the national politics you can read anywhere, I hadn’t suspected such an engaging and inspiring background, and it confirmed Brian was altruistic and respectable. Ergo, towards the end of our chat, when I asked him for his thoughts on a ceasefire in Palestine, here was chap who knows oppression and genocide firsthand. As an undergraduate Brian took a year out, to research herb and spice production in Egypt and Israel, the latter he resided in. “A lot of the time I was based on a kibbutz close to Gaza, which was attacked on October the 7th last year. I knew the families and the children that were murdered.”

Moving onto local affairs, healthcare was at the forefront. Brian is on Wiltshire Council, “although we haven’t run Wiltshire Council because we’ve been the minority,” he expressed, “we’ve been the opposition, we’ve been the tail that wags the Tory dog. So we we’ve come up with promising ideas; that’s the day job! This morning I was in Colerne, trying to sort out the problems with the surgery. I’ve collected the last of the signatures for the petition and this is to save a surgery up there. The doctors have been getting less and less money, and the costs have been going up and up. So they’re now faced with the horrible prospect of having to close one of their surgeries. But to show how committed they are, they have foregone two months’ worth of salary. They’ve not taken the money to keep the surgeries open. Now this is wrong, and this is a big part of the manifesto pledge, helping rural surgeries, and this is a rural area.”

The facilities in both Melksham and Devizes are hot on every candidate’s agenda. “The Melksham hospital has been closed. It’s now certainly been turned into houses. In Melksham a hospital is still there, but essentially what it’s become is an outreach place for mental health services for Oxford. You’ve got a rather ridiculous situation where people are turning up at the hospital, sometimes with quite bad injuries and expect them to be treated and they there’s no one to help them. So what I would like to see is an injuries unit.” I’m going to throw in the ‘how do we fund it curveball!’

“Our manifesto means new spending around 28 billion on areas, health, education, housing, child poverty, and reversing cuts to the army and aid. So that’s what we want to do. And we said we would raise 28 billion through measures such as reversing the cuts to tax on banks. The banks have benefited the tune of something like 50 billion, right? We’re talking about four billion of that, please. But it’s not everything, taxing oil and gas firms, and that’s really to look at the issue of dealing with the changing way people deal with energy. So it’s a one-off tax on them.”

Brian also spoke of taxing social media. “Specifically we’d like to see a mental health expert in every school. Look at the harm that social media does to kids,” and frequent flyers too, “basically, to encourage people not to fly so much. And reforming capital gains tax.”

As with the Greens, eating the rich might force multinational companies to move away, I put to Brian, and thought it was tremendously conservative for me! He used a comparison to post Second World War relationships between employer and employee, and today’s. “The differential between them, was something like ten times. You look at the amount bosses are getting paid now and it’s just ridiculous. So you’re talking about thousands of times more than the people at the bottom; you know that’s all wrong. And when you’ve got a situation like that, it’s wrong for society. It’s not healthy. So I don’t have a problem with seeing that.”

I point out my socialist trait to my daughter, that there’s enough money to go around, it’s the unjust distribution of it. “Yeah,” Brian replied, “absolutely.” It was all going so well, then I put my foot in it with the B-word, and my teapot was empty! If we’ve become right and left-wing extremities, Brexit has driven the divide, and perhaps middle-road Liberal unity is what’s required. “Yeah,” Brian said, “there’s a lovely phrase which I really like, and that is when will people realise that the leftwing and the right-wing belong to the same bird? We are one society and can’t be divided. We have been divided, and then you mentioned Brexit, and what a horrible thing it was, you know, in terms of the way it’s absolutely driven a knife through the middle of us.”

Brexit stance surely divides Liberal from Conservative, and while there’s another far-right option with Reform, I’d consider dangerous, does Brian think they’ll take a certain number of Conservative voters? “On the issue of Conservative voters, what we are finding is a general disgust amongst people who traditionally always voted Conservative.” He highlighted the PPE scandal. “People were making hand over fist money within the government. Those things stick in the throat of decent people. And I think because of that, we’re now seeing a lot of Conservatives flipping to us, and they are doing it in the way that a smoker who gives up smoking becomes evangelical about it. It’s wonderful. It’s quite something to see!”

And Brexit? “We’re a pro-European party, right? We are Europeans whether we it or not, and that’s a fact. Personally, I think Brexit was a was a mistake, but it’s happened. It created horrible divisions in society, but we must work our way forward. Farmers now are faced with a situation where they can’t export to Europe. our manufacturers can’t export to Europe. Our food processors can’t export to Europe. That is just ridiculous. And at the same time, well, the government has kind of been allowing a lot of stuff from Europe to come through. And now they’re starting to tighten up. On that, we’re not with them. These are our friends, and we should be trading with them.”

Strategic voting to get the Tories out, we talked on next. Is every goal a goal to Brian, or does he prefer voters to vote with who they support?

“It’s not good for this country to have them there anymore,” he said of the ruling party. “But the only way for that to happen essentially, is for people to pull together in this constituency, that means you’ve got look at the whole of Wiltshire, right? Look where the Wiltshire councillors are. You’ve got three Labour councillors in Salisbury: that’s it. If Labour was so popular across the whole county, you’d find them all over the place, but you only find them in Salisbury, and of course in Swindon, which is in its own borough.”

Again, the idea of coalition felt alien. “The problem with coalitions generally, and you can see this right across Europe, is wherever you’ve got a big party and a small party, the small party is the one that gets the blame.” Dammit, I brought up Nick Clegg, now I’m never getting the next bus home!

“Totally. And we were destroyed. A lot depends on the amount of influence that we’ll have. If we managed to win enough seats and we form, if you like, the bridge between in the middle, then we might have something called confidence and supply, which means we will vote with the government when we agree with the government. And we will vote against them when we don’t agree. But it would also mean that we wouldn’t have any cabinet ministers. Then you’ve got collective responsibility, and then you end up with horrible battles going on within government. And apparently that’s what happened when we were in bed with the Tories. There were arguments every day.”

Trying to turn the tide back local, Brian told me about a project he was proud as a councillor to have achieved, called Shared Lives. “It’s adoption for adults,” he explained, “specifically for adult social care that could be for retired people, or people with learning difficulties. Adult social care is the one of the biggest things that we all spend our Council tax on. It’s not the roads, it’s not other things, it’s adult social care and indeed, social care for kids as well. That is a massive part of what Wiltshire Council does now. So the idea behind Shared Lives is that a couple of carers can take them into their home, and they get paid by the Council.”

Although Brian would and could talk politics in layman’s terms, and had a convincing argument in each case, it was throughout our chat I felt he favoured discussing these varied and often extreme projects and charity-based motions he both supported and actively engaged in. We rapped Universal Credit, how they’d like to see proportional representation, and how he didn’t think a PCC was needed, though he praised Wilkinson for targeting hair coursing. Housing, well, that’s another story.  

“What we’re saying is increasing new homes to 380,000 new homes a year and including in that is 150,000 social homes a year, through new garden cities and community LED developments. We’re talking about banning no fault evictions. Making three-year tenancies a default. And creating a National Register of licenced landlords. So we want to see where people do have a landlord. The landlord doesn’t treat them badly.” Young people getting on the ladder, right to buy, got us onto Margaret Thatcher, Pandora’s boxers!

Yet it was a surprisingly brief hurdle, Brian saying she “got” climate change, and thus I could swiftly move onto this. Brain wrote the motion which got Wiltshire Council to acknowledge the climate emergency. Against the sewage leakage scandal, he acknowledged but also praised Wessex Water for installation of “a massive tank system for example, brought from Maven. So that means that, when you’ve got heavy rainfall, when water is going into the sewer, it’s held in the tank before, and gets processed and then it goes into the river.”

He was up on environmental issues, had worked with Wilshire Climate Alliance, and even Extinction Rebellion, I even liked his take on education reform. Brian slipped on nothing, I could’ve thrown a banana skin under his loafers, and he’d probably glide around it telling me a story of how he once saved a jungle of monkeys from deforestation!

School trusts need a kick into touch, it’s ludicrous to even call them Trusts, and yet again, Brian had a supportive take on how to solve the issue, but not without mentioning, “when I worked in Zimbabwe, I remember visiting a school in the Eastern Highlands that was supported by German Stiftung, which was an Education Foundation……!!” I wondered when the last bus home was, but was kind of in awe of the guy, and found his stories relevant and fascinating. Brian has the experience and compassion to walk into an MP role like Heston Blumenthal could a job in McDonalds, it’s just a case of putting your faith in a middle-road party amidst the pandemonium of a divided country and a government corrupt to the core, which people here are still putting up posters for!

That said, I’m remain in a dilemma, and I’ve got Labour’s hopeful, Kerry Postlewhite to chat with next, which incidentally, I’ve already done, and I really liked her too; I’m such a suck-up! Still, a consensus of a “who do we vote for” Facebook debate on a rare freedom of expression Devizes group, suggested they were all the same “shit.” I beg to differ, now I’ve had the honour of chatting with them personally. A vote for either Brian, Kerry or Catherine is a vote well spent; deciding on which one is the trickiest part.

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A Chat With Green Party Candidate For Melksham-Devizes, Catherine Read

Over the coming weeks I’m having cuppas with candidates of the Melksham-Devizes constituency crazy enough to indulge my political ignorance and endure my inane waffling; it’s funnier this way! First under my spotlight is Catherine Read, standing for the Greens….

Bulked with other scoops the night before I was short of time to put in any research. Luckily Krishnan grilled Green Party co-leader Adrian Ramsay on Channel 4, which inspired! Steadfast in New Society I planned to be ruthless like Krishnan, but it turned out Catherine is such a friendly person I couldn’t bring myself to! At one point I whimpered I was playing Devil’s advocate, to which she replied, “oh, was you? I thought it was a perfectly reasonable question!”

Not the guts to be Paxman, I love the Greens, with their radically leftwing ideas and knitted jerseys, but fear their popularity is dwindled, not only by the misconception they’re a one trick pony, but also by those who, whilst accepting the importance of climate change, or not, might not sway so far left: truckloads of ‘em around ‘ere!

There’s an angle I must ask in line with the Melksham-Devizes Primary’s strategic voting idea, if Catherine understood the dilemma some feel a vote for a party lesser in popularity like the Greens is dividing the votes against Conservatives.

“I can understand why people might worry and why they might want to get the Conservatives out,” Catherine told me. “But from all polls across the country, we’re thinking it’s going to be a Labour government. I know here we’re a very conservative county, and even if Michelle Donelan did get in, she’s not in power. She’s just going to be a backbench MP with no influence at all. So what’s important is we get the votes to put pressure on who’s next in, to say, look, a lot of people voted Green because they are concerned about the environment, and that will send a message to the Labour government then as well.”

Story checks out nationally, according to the MRP the Greens are predicted to keep seats in Brighton, and Bristol Central, with 50% of the vote, and it shows Greens coming second in 46 Labour seats, which puts them in position to apply pressure on Labour. But this is not a Labour safe seat by any stretch of the imagination.

“I also think if you look at the percentage vote for the Greens it isn’t that high, where is that really going to make a difference? So I’m saying to everyone, vote for whichever party represents your values, because, you know the Conservatives aren’t going to be in, so this is your opportunity. And I would also ask; why vote for a different party which you don’t really like or want, and by doing that there is money attached to votes? I’m not sure whether a lot of people are aware of this. It’s called short money. What happens is it’s given to the opposition parties, and the amount they get is dependent on the amount of votes they get. Being optimistic here, if we get four Green MPs, we get money to help them through their parliamentary staff and produce policies. But that’s dependent on the amount of votes they get, so I would appeal to any Green voters not to give your vote and your money to a different party that you don’t agree with and try to support the Green Party.”

Catherine explained they were hopeful for at least four MPs in Parliament, mentioning Bristol and Brighton, but also Waveney Valley and one in Herefordshire. “I’m certain  Waveney Valley is between Greens and Conservative; they’re like us over there. It’s rural, and very farming,” she clarified. “I think what’s driving it is protecting the local environment and nature, and farming as well. The Greens stand up for farming.” Catherine continued to tell me about local butterfly camps and tree and hedge planting projects on Morgan’s Hill. “It’s great; you meet people out there and they’re not necessarily from the Green Party, just people who are concerned about their environment.”

And while inevitably the conversation will turn to national politics, I prioritise local issues and getting to know the candidates on a personal level.

Catherine has lived in Bromham for over twenty-five years and worked at the Great Western Hospital in Swindon. Her only political background is parish council level, but hey, Liz Truss read philosophy, politics and economics at Merton College, Oxford, was the president of the Oxford University Liberal Democrats, and look how that panned out!

I take people at face-value, it’s not the party nor the policies, it’s the expression of excitement when Catherine told me about submitting her nomination papers the day before, “and our Chippenham candidates’ going today,” she furthered. “We cover three or four constituencies, and then there’s the other two of the South, West and Salisbury. I believe they’re putting up candidates across Wiltshire. It was the Green Party’s ambition, to stand candidates everywhere.”

Surely such excitement transfers to motivation, to perform an honest job? Though, I asked what I will ask them all; “in a sentence, why should we vote for you?”

 “I care about people, and I want to make people’s life better, basically. And I would put, climate change is what drives me to be in this position now.” Caring about people? A politician?! Now that’s a looney leftie concept beyond our fathoming around these sewage infested backwaters where we’d sooner just vote for the ‘circus of thieves’ with a blue rosette (enter winking emoji!) Yet the answer felt sincere, as everything Catherine said did. So we talked about her association with climate groups like Sustainable Devizes and Wiltshire Climate Alliance.

“They aren’t political at all, but I’m a member of them personally. They are great, they raise awareness and do good things. It’s good to be involved in your community to try and make it better, more sustainable,” Catherine said, enticing us to rap about the Sustainability Fair and pedestrianisation of the Market Place, Catherine said, “it doesn’t have to be a carpark, we can do something great with the space; that was the idea behind the fair.”  Leading me to waffle about the boater band Devil’s Doorstep who played, but it allowed us to roll the chat into cycling and public transport, as they came up from the canal on bicycles, somehow carrying their recycled washtub bass!

Obviously, Catherine, a keen cyclist herself, was keen to see environmental improvements such as a better public transport system, cycle lanes, et al, but she also talked on enhancements at Green Lane’s Health Centre. “I’m passionate about the NHS. Devizes had the hospital, that hospital was lovely, and convenient, so you didn’t have to travel too far, and I think everybody misses that. So they put in a replacement, the health centre. It’s an environmentally friendly building. It doesn’t have a lot of things that a hospital has. It doesn’t have A&E or any wards. You can’t do a walk in service. We don’t think it’s offering as much to people that it could. Because if you need minor injuries, you go to Chippenham. I think people like community hospitals, but we don’t have a good transport system. It’s not easy for people to get to these places. I think you need to bring it into the communities.”

This is not going the callous way I planned so I told a story about a neighbour of a customer of mine who, one spring morning when the temperature had dropped, suggested with a shiver it was cold, and jested, “so much for all that bloody global warming rubbish!” It’s alarming, his thinking being just because it’s colder today in his village, a pinprick on the world map, climate change is a hoax, not forgoing we don’t refer to it as global warming anymore, it’s climate change! It’s not such an uncommon jest, but my point was, if Greens want in, least be able to persuade government on environmental issues, how do we go about convincing people with this mentality, how do we get this guy onboard with a leftist philosophy he’s not going to warm to?  

“So they think what’s in it for him?” Catherine asked, talking environmental and social justice in one. “Obviously we want to reduce global heating or cooling because it’s overheating the planet. We want to reduce carbon, so maybe we put solar panels, insulate homes, because it reduces the amount of carbon energy they’re using. But that has a knock-on benefit for them, because they’re saving money, you know, they’re literally getting free electricity when the sun shines. If you insulate it, they’re going to get warmer homes as well.”

“It is strange,” Catherine replied to my rant about doughnuts who think it’s a hoax. “But when I’m trying to make things better anyway, so if somebody believes it was made-up, we’re only trying to make their life better. We’re trying to reduce the pollution and we’re trying to keep their homes, homes warm. They’re going to benefit from that. You know, we want to increase public transport too, and make it cheap.”

The Green Party are due to release their manifesto on the 14th of June, and like other party’s promises, it will bait the question how we will pay for these initiatives, the ones of the Greens being radical, like a national wage. With higher taxes? It seems the Greens think it’s all about eat the rich.

“A universal basic income, so everybody gets a set amount every year,” Catherine confirmed, “can help with poverty, because everyone’s getting an income, young people don’t even get the minimum wage. These things they will help everybody who’s really struggling now, and what they’re saying is, tax the wealthiest people. We’re not talking middle-class, we’re talking the top 1%, if that, you know, so it’s not going to affect us. This tax is just coming from those that can really afford it.”

I’m with this, there’s enough money to go around, it’s the unjust distribution of it, especially when it comes to taxes and the misuse of public spending. But common immediate reaction to the Green Party is they’re just going to whack our taxes up, and how do you convince folk otherwise?

“We’re not whacking up tax, we put tax on the richest people.” Catherine reaffirmed. “The reason we don’t seem to get services that work is, where does all that money go? That’s a question to be asked. We’ve paid our taxes. And like you say, the tax burden is the highest. But where has it all gone? And I think we’ve seen an example of why.” Catherine went onto example the PPE contract scandal during the pandemic. “It seems to me they don’t have any balances, any value for money, and we have the scandals with Lady Michelle Mone, and you know that I was quite upset and angry about all that, because that was our money. That should have gone into NHS services and protecting us, and it was an excuse to literally give away our money. It’s just not being put back into our public services. It’s being put into different things, and I think that’s the problem. I think that’s what needs to be addressed.”

And that’s where we are. While environmental issues should so obviously be top priority, though rarely are in other manifestos and folk’s day-to-day minds, and I vow never to be that spanner calling it all a hoax just because it’s a bit chilly today, I’m willing to consider the Greens and love what they say, but my fear their other policies are either vague or too radical for the majority will affect my vote being lost from the beloved ethos of getting the Tories out.

Lovely as our chat was, and interesting, it hasn’t helped my dilemma of what box to put my cross, it’s just reaffirmed my affection for the Green Party, and my prayers the others standing will have an eye on environmental issues too rather than just perfidious piffle; Lib Dem’s Brian Matthew is up next, we’ll see what he has to say on it!

The key, I think, is a coalition with Greens, to put the cat among the pigeons. But in the past election I found every time I mention coalitions to prospective MPs of yellow and red, they pull the expression of looking into the eyes of Medusa! Catherine though seemed keen on the idea, or at least to work with other parties. “I think they would work with the government on topics that we agreed we had common ground on.” Catherine said. “But I don’t think they would commit to supporting everything that the Labour government say, because obviously there’s differences. So I think where there’s overlap, yes, they probably would. But I can’t speak for the National Party, that’s just my opinion. I’m fairly new to politics. I think working with your community is what it’s about. I don’t think it’s about bashing heads all the time; it’s about just doing the best.”

It was a lovely chat, and I am thankful to Catherine Reed for her time; she’s an inspirational person, and as she said, if you’ve faith in the Greens, which you should, consider not giving your vote to someone you don’t fully agree with.

Liar, Liar, Wiltshire Police Crime Commissioner Philip Wilkinson’s Pants are on Fire!!

In what appears to be a deliberate attempt to smear the campaign of opposition candidate for Wiltshire Police Crime Commissioner, independent Mike Rees, it seems existing PCC Philip Wilkinson has outright and unashamedly lied in a Facebook comment….

In the comment, Mr Wilkinson states Mr Rees was “part of the force that went into special measures and I am the PCC getting it out of special measures.” We can confirm from Mr Rees that this is untrue. “I left ten years ago when the force was in good order,” he told Devizine, and said, “he clearly needs to check his facts.”

We have contacted the office of the PCC but as of yet they have not responded.

It seems Mr Wilkinson is clearly concerned about the outcome of the forthcoming Wiltshire PCC election, as Mr Rees’ campaign makes considerable gains, but to make such a misinformed statement at this time is surely detrimental to his own. We find ourselves asking if Mr Wilkinson is prepared to lie through his teeth in order to slander the opposition, what else he prepared to tell porkies about?!

Here at Devizine we remain hopeful for a time of change, a time when the rapport between police and the community is united, and we believe this is best accomplished by a PCC with on-hand experience in the police force. 

Adrenaline Stomper or Storm in Teacup? Wiltshire Council Gloat About Prosecuting Fly-Posting Club Night

If we spoke only last month about Wiltshire Council’s threats to prosecute Wiltshire Music Events over posters advertising a Bob Marley tribute event in Devizes, it seems we were only at the tip of a disheartening iceberg for event promoters. Promoter for Adrenaline Stomper rave nights at Venom Nightclub in Westbury, Chris Freeman is the latest victim of their crackdown on fly-posting….

Mr Freeman tasted their venom, and was given a 24-month Conditional Discharge and ordered to pay £1,465 on the 19th April for flyposting, and then Wiltshire Council had the audacity to brag about it online. But, karma is a bitch; in a gloaty moment of stupidity, they displayed a photograph of the offending poster, acting like an advert for the event! We do hope it backlashes upon them, and entices people to attend on the 13th July. You can’t make it up! You’ve got to love our Council. I’m such a conformist I will certainly not give it this massive rave a plug for them….

Tickets HERE…… oops-a-daisy!! 

Cllr Nick Holder, Cabinet Member for Transport and Street Scene, waffled, “we’re committed to reducing fly-posting in Wiltshire, and this prosecution is part of our wider clampdown on this unsightly blight on our communities.” As unsightly as, say, the construction of a £2.4 billion tunnel under Stonehenge that the High Court stated was “unlawful,” perhaps? Or the thousands of miles of unrepaired roads in the county, the plight of vacant high street shops due to hikes in rent, the construction of solar farms on areas of outstanding natural beauty when they could quite easily be put along our motorways, or maybe, just maybe, the human faeces pouring into our rivers the government they back allowed water companies to ignore? That level of unsightliness? A poster, advertising an event? Really?!

“It creates a bad impression of an area,” the councillor who couldn’t bear the thought of people enjoying themselves at a party he obviously wasn’t invited to, continued, “and it costs the council thousands of pounds each year to remove.” As costly as £1.4 million for a PCC re-election in 2021, because the Conservative candidate was a drink-driving wildlife assassin, perhaps? Or the £57,000 taxpayers paid to bail out MP Michelle Donelan for slanderous comments on her personal Twitter page? That kind of costly? To rip a poster off a lamppost, really?!

Chris Freeman personally expressed his “disappointment” to see Wiltshire Council brag about their successful prosecution, telling us, “it’s disappointing what they’ve done, still can’t believe it really.”

“I just want this whole thing done with,” he said. “Being I’m someone in the local community and having lived in Wiltshire all of my life, with no previous convictions of any kind, of course I cannot begin to tell you how very disappointed that this went to court, without even a warning.” Mr Freeman continued to suggest not only had it had a significant impact on him mentally, but also taken a huge toll on his family, even without the financial burden now in place.

Chris, a keen fundraiser for local charities, and a regular Father Christmas for local schools, asked Facebook users if  justice was really served, “especially considering these types of events bring business locally into our local towns, shops and hotels?”

The nature of the events they seem to target could suggest the possibility of cherry picking events they take a personal dislike to, being that other event advertisements appear to be immune to the crackdown. Of course, this is highly debatable speculation, and far be for me to say it’s so. But with the hospitality industry at its knees post lockdown, again, maybe, just maybe, a little compromise is needed here from Wiltshire Council, just, y’know, a level of compassion, a little communication, and understanding, perhaps, maybe, just a smidgen?!

“In times like these,” Chris continued, “events that promote wellbeing, and aim to give people a reason to smile should be pushed forward, not pushed back.” Bingo, sir.

Obviously though, we have to go along with Wiltshire Council on this one, and we cannot tell you that the Adrenaline Stompers Festival 2024 at Venom Nightclub in Westbury, on Saturday 13th July promises to be their biggest single day event to date! We really shouldn’t say, it hosts over forty DJs and thirty MCs, over indoor and outdoor stages, has weekend camping including a shuttle bus to & from the event, and retails for a mere £35 a ticket! Because, you know, your council wants you tucked up in bed by ten pm, after enjoying an entertaining TV show with Ant & Dec in…. so, jump to it. 

Trending…..

Michelle Donelan’s Fake Magazine Promoted By Drink Driving Fox Hunter

And so it begins. Expect an influx of Tory propaganda and lies rammed through your letterbox over the coming weeks; you’d be better taking your chances clicking on a link from an Indonesian newsite claiming Simon Cowell is in hospital than believe any of the crap spewing from their mouths…..

Who’s had this one recently dropped like a bombshell onto their doormat, You & Your Family?! It’s NOT a delightful blithe local Hello magazine some nice neighbour thought you’d like to browse, it’s a propaganda leaflet of lies and deceit from a desperate ruling political party, only playfully disguised as a delightful blithe local Hello magazine, and you would be a fool to believe any of it. I hope they don’t mind that we remixed it, added a few truths.

From our own Conservative MP, Michelle Donelan, You & Your Family avoids the blue colour of the usual Conservative corporate identity, and goes for the neutral, coffee table magazine look in an attempt to disguise its true nature. It doesn’t even mention the political party she’s affiliated with, rather shamelessly masquerades as something it’s not; they’re that proud of their party they have to hide it!

Now, if the fact that both Michelle’s partner, and his father both set up companies to supply bogus PPE to the NHS during the pandemic, and recently this Secretary of State for Science, Innovation and Technology faced court action for falsely alleging on X scientist Professor Kate Sang of Heriot-Watt University had expressed sympathy for Hamas, which she used £15,000 of taxpayer’s money to bail herself out of, isn’t enough tory scandal to put you off ever voting for them again, note this fluff pamphlet of deceit has been promoted by none other than our old pal, Jonathan Seed.

Yep, in the tiniest writing on the back it names Jonathan Seed as the promoter. Once huntsmaster of the Avon Vale Hunt, who busted a few heads in Lacock one Boxing Day while a police officer hunter herself turned a blind eye, and were so sure of themselves they convicted themselves, filming themselves killing a fox and posting it online!    

Dammit, I thought we’d heard the last of this seedy by name seedy by nature character, who I warned you all about when he told me anyone campaigning against the needless and brutal slaughter of our wildlife is an online troll. He was going for the Police Crime Commissioner role at the time, a keen Countryside Alliance chappie, hoping to persuade the rural crime team to turn a blind eye to hunting. And despite me telling you he was a wrong-un, the majority voted for him, because he had his picture taken with Boris Johnson, a very trustworthy prime minister after all.

He won, if you recall. But he didn’t seem to care; he had previous convictions for drunk driving and many other offences, which he failed to disclose to the electorate, and pulled out after the election, costing the local taxpayer millions for a re-election. The result of which changed nothing as he was swiftly replaced in the PCC role by Tory crony Phillip Wilkinson who is equally critical of anti-hunt supporters and admitted attending hunt balls himself.

So when you read your magazine, You & Your Family, spare a thought for You & Your Family, for the ones promoting it, the ones lying in it, couldn’t give a finger of fudge about  You & Your Family, for if they did, they wouldn’t be fleecing the NHS, the taxpayers to fund their own mistakes, they wouldn’t be drunk driving, or posing a danger to the public pursuing a fox to slay for pompous drunk kicks, now, would they?! There’s a lot of people out there trying to scam you, clearly, the Conservative Party is the worst offender yet. 

Don’t Impress Them Much, Online Rants at Glastonbury Line-Up!

Image: Czampal

I’m laughing, not at the Glasto lineup, but the incalculable comments of negativity it has encouraged in Facebookland. It should be said though, most disapproving remarks appear on shares of the post and not the original, and most of them were posted this morning when most ticketholders are likely at work, funding their forthcoming adventure to Pilton. Now they’re homebound, online anticipation and positivity has risen above the seething armchair critiques……

Then there is this ‘old photographs of Wiltshire’ Facebook group I recently joined, where a picture of the Barge at Honey Street was posted today with the caption, “The Barge at Honey Street, near Pewsey.” Some aging, caps-lock permanently stuck on gammon responded, “IT IS NOT PEWSEY IT IS HONEY STREET!”

If caps-lock usually implies angered shouting, and the nearest large village to Honey Street is Pewsey, perhaps it suggests how nonsensically negative and overreactive your average Facebooker has become, and how much it exists for aimlessly irritated and amateur critics to vent their general disgust over first world problems. It says more about them and the tenet of Facebook than the thing they’re mocking. This much ado about nothing is amusing though, that’s why I like this particular social media platform….

Glastonbury Festival released their main lineup poster today, and my gut reaction was similar to the priceless online onslaught of negativity in the comments. Being honest, it’s not inane, it’s not the best lineup we’ve seen, but I restrained myself from passing comment, considering it’s an age test; the older you get the less headliners you should expect to know at an event self-professed to be a festival of “contemporary” performing arts. No one online considered it might not be Glastonbury which has the problem!

And secondly, for the simple reason I’m not going anyway, and haven’t attended for twenty-four years. I wonder how many of those feeding negative comments to the pitchfork assembly are going themselves. I hope and pray it’s not many, for Glastonbury is not the place for decomposing strident and pessimistic cynics…. like me, for example!

Glastonbury is and will always be an experience, you go to Glastonbury for going to Glastonbury, not whoever happens to be on a stage you’re passing. Yeah, it’s held some massive names in the past, pre-broken Brexit Britain, but does anyone commenting have an inkling how much and how hard it is to organise something on this scale? How much work goes on behind the scenes? Far more than typing your grievance in a text box, rest assured.

I can now count the acts I’ve heard of on the annual Glastonbury poster on my fingers, even less ones I’d actually like to see, this lessens with every year Father Time takes from me, it’s an old dog new tricks scenario; I’m content with shit happens. Most of the names I’ve heard of are through my daughter’s playlist, with a sprinkling of classics like Cyndi Lauper, to whet the appetite of grumpy old bastards who might yet turn up; it’ll all come off in the wash!

I shouldn’t scratch my Uncle Albert beard and tediously spin a yarn of how I once failed to see the Mad Professor at the dance tent because of my genius navigation past the Pyramid Stage while Pulp was playing. A band who, being I was a ‘raver’ and they were ‘indie’ I wouldn’t usually beeline, but finding myself unable to gorge further through the masses, was forced to watch them, and forever became a fan through unexpected circumstance. But if I did, it would surely serve a purpose to illustrate a tale of the unexpected. Digest new things, you never know till you try. To moan this act doesn’t suit your whim is to misunderstand the concept of Glastonbury, or festivals in general. You need to open your eyes and ears to new things not just relish in the nostalgic era of your individual youth. But more importantly, the arts and entertainment industry at its knees, need you to do this more than ever before.

Yet, in this ocean of boiling ageist whimpering which is the comment section on Glastonbury’s Facebook lineup post, which one could summarise as a multitude of disgruntled whingers unlikely to even attend, who cannot accept they’re past it and are whinging for the sake of whinging, one gen-z’s unintentionally amusing comment reversed the status quo, by calling the lineup, “a load of old dinosaurs!” (Assuming they meant the acts listed and not the other commenters!) They win the internet today for standing against the grain, still bleating bollocks, but for precisely the opposite reason to everyone else, thus proving if you can’t satisfy everyone, why bother trying with anyone? Who the heck is SZA and how did they get listed above PJ Harvey? I might have to sacrifice a cute furry pet over this atrocity!

Though, in this, you should note the universal appeal Glastonbury promotes and always has. I recall the nineties when attendees foamed from the mouth at the thought Robbie Williams got up there to do his thing; youth today would hail this classic, as they would’ve done for Led Zeppelin. Because should a change of tide wipe you out or this upset you, there’s a billion retro festivals, eighties nights, tribute acts, et al, which are more niche, and likely kinder on your wallet too. Maybe take some time to research them rather than jump a bandwagon?

Yep, if Shania Twain is the calibre of Elton John or Springsteen now, a tear will undoubtedly trickle down my wrinkled cheek, but it is not my cheek Glastonbury needs to appease, neither is it the witch hunt of unsatisfied grumpy old keyboard warriors. Key here is the simple notion; Glastonbury is so much more than a main stage and congested campsite. Don’t fuss over mainstream or contemporary things if they’re only going to engulf you in flames of irritation, think of your blood pressure.

No buddy, saunter them there Somerset fields and find the bizarre, outlandish, the upcoming, the amateur, the underground, then, and only then will you understand the true ethos of Glastonbury.

Or simply retire, watch it on the telebox; you can fast forward. With a cardboard cup of Lidl cider, and undercooked hotdog. Stay home where you can take a piss behind the sofa without queuing, and maybe start a blog where, like me, you can hypocritically rant your niggles without spoiling a Facebook post! What have we becomeeeee?!

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Lady Nade at Devizes Arts Festival

If the opening Friday evening of Devizes Arts Festival was amazing for lively pirate-punk craziness, Saturday night was too for precisely opposite reasons. Bristol’s soulstress…

LilyPetals Debut EP

One of many young indie bands which impressed me at Bradford Roots Festival, and proof there’s more than the name suggests at The Wiltshire Music…

Courting Ghosts Debut Album: Falling My Friend

Images used with kind permission of Pacific Curd Photography West Wilts and Somerset folk-rock collective Courting Ghosts are about to release their debut album, Falling…

Wiltshire Council Threaten Prosecution Against Wiltshire Music Events’ Posters in Devizes

Salisbury-based event organisation Wiltshire Music Events has been ordered to remove posters advertising the Marley Experience gig at the Devizes Corn Exchange on 13th April, by Wiltshire Council, because they were unauthorised…..

Company director, Eddie Prestidge said, “we have been told by Wiltshire County Council to remove our posters from their present positions around Wiltshire or we will be fined £250 per poster, per day! When we designed the posters we carefully took into account where we would safely place them, and to make them of a sturdy and waterproof material, so they would be as  safe as possible. We have monitored them daily in case the weather affected them, but it is with regret that we will have to remove all of our advertising posters by Sunday.”

Environmental Enforcement of Wiltshire Council notified the company, stating “the display of such advertisements does not benefit from exemption or deemed consent under the above the regulations and is therefore unauthorised.” It then threatens the company with liable action should they fail to remove the posters within three working days. “The Council therefore trusts you will take immediate steps to remove the authorised advertisements, and insure that, neither these or any other unauthorised signs shall be displayed at any location in the control of Wiltshire Council,” going on to explain it will not give the company a warning next time before prosecuting.

It should send out a stark warning to all, if you haven’t permission to display your advertisements it will be considered flyposting, illegal in the UK. UKGov states, “it is illegal to display advertising material such as posters or placards on buildings and street furniture without authorisation. It is not only unsightly but can also cause danger to pedestrians and road users.”

But I have to have sympathy for Wiltshire Music Events, an event poster such as the one in question is hardly neon glowing Piccadilly Circus, and no more potentially dangerous to road users than many of our other permitted event signage, from our Arts Festival to DOCA or FullTone, even some brown signs like the one advertising the Old Potato Yard on Andover Road which seriously obscures the view for those turning out of Ostler’s Yard.

If it all seems a tad harsh, given the town is plastered head to toe with other advertising signage, the rules are the rules, but I wonder if all said signs are situated on the owner’s own land, or granted permission to be on Council land. And even if they are, should they not still be monitored for being “unsightly” or dangerous? Mr Prestidge sadly told Devzine that he feels “victimised.”

I consider if this is more “cross my palm with silver,” than monitoring potential unsightliness or danger, and in this, ironically, if the words of Bob Marley, even through a fantastic tribute act to him, might be deemed too reactionary for the delicate situation the Conservative top-heavy county council find themselves in with a forthcoming general election and masses rising against the political ethos they stand by?

It could be; see this is an opinion piece razzled by the notion that both the hospitality and music industry is suffering enough post-lockdown, that it would’ve been a kinder resolute for the Council to have waived it this time, with a wrap on the knuckles to say don’t do it again?

However, Wiltshire Music Events promises “the show will go ahead as planned,” and we will be here to sing it from the highest heights, as loud as we can, not because it appears it’s an event the authorities wish to poo-poo, rather because we need events like this in our town, we want to celebrate events like this coming to our town, and we want to thank all those promoters for sifting through the bureaucratic piffle in order to host them. Plus, I’ve seen the Marley Experience, and support act Illingworth, and I’ll let you know now, if you come along you’re in for an unforgettable night of entertainment!

If you have any prominent position in and around Devizes, and would let them display their poster, Eddie states, “perhaps  we can come to some arrangement with a couple of free tickets for this event!” Do get in touch with us, and we’ll gladly pass the message on, or comment in our social media shares of this article, thanks. 

So, three cheers to Wiltshire Council for giving us an excuse to promote this event again, with a disconcert and quite frankly unjustified angle! As Bob said himself, “why’s this fussing and a-fighting? We should really love each other, in peace and harmony, instead, we’re fussing and fighting, and them workin’ iniquity.”

I hope to see you on April 13th at the Corn Exchange, Devizes; please do what you can to support live music in our town, share and invite your friends to events, that is the way to get word out.

Tickets HERE.

Trending……

Date Set for Devizes Pride

Hear ye, oh, hear ye, with much yet to plan for the event, we’re pleased to announce the date of Saturday June 29th has been set for Devizes Pride…..

Put it in your diary, though I’m sure to remind you again. The inaugural Pride at Hillworth Park in Devizes last year, unfortunately, clashed with the popular beer festival. So, we’ve made sure there’s no major events in town this time on the day, because organiser Oberon Christmas and the Devizes LGBTQ+ group wants to build on last year’s success, and here at Devizine, we’re dedicated to helping out whether we can to make this an exciting and memorable day for all.

It’s too early to divulge plans yet, but there’s a focus on entertainment we are keen to involve ourselves with, so we’re hopeful for some live music, and of course, some drag. Details on this to follow. In fact, in negotiating a fair price from bands, I threw down a gauntlet of dressing up in drag myself, y’know….as an incentive…. though I fear it might have the opposite effect!

Do you dare me? Have I got the legs for it?! Will you turn up to find out? I do hope so!

Ha! Fear not, I’m certain there will be more entertaining things to do on the day than laughing at me in a ballgown and fishnets. I’m aware my interpretation of Pride might be slightly inaccurate. Maybe yours is too, all the more reason for one and all to turn up and take part in my honest opinion.


Being hetero, I see it more about being proud of how far we’ve come as a nation in the acceptance of equality, rather than pride in one’s personal sexual orientation, though I understand it means this to others as well, and rightly so. Watersheds like Stonewall aside, in my lifetime alone, we’ve progressed so far. It deserves recognition.

Ergo, Pride is welcoming to all, and that’s the way we should, and will, project it. It relies on this united ethos, I think, especially in a small town like Devizes.

I  sincerely hope this year you can make it down to Hillworth Park for a rainbow celebration.

How to Topple the Tories’ Melksham-Devizes Safe Seat Next General Election

Tuesday before Christmas I’m in New Society. I gazed across to a table by the window, recalling an optimistic response from local Labour candidate Rachael Schneider-Ross when I quizzed her if she felt she had a chance in this Tory haven, in 2019. “Never say never,” she replied, predictably, it was not to be.….

This time, though we’re talking local politics I’m not with a candidate or anyone affiliated with a political party. I’m with Anne Graham of the Melksham & Devizes Primary, not a school, rather a school of thought with an ambitious yet strategic plan to topple Conservatives from this supposed safe seat in the next general election; cross fingers, toes, whatever you’ve got spare!

In interviewing candidates, I’d always ask if they felt a coalition was a possibility, never with a positive response. If there no unification within the alternative parties, everyone here against the monopoly of Conservatives is divided. Anne and her colleagues in the Primary, Mike White, Felix McGrath, and Claire Gwilliam, call it “splitting the vote,” I call it “divide and conquer.”

“All my life,” she explained, “I have never once voted for anybody who’s become my MP. I think the current electoral system needs changing, though I don’t think that’s going to happen. But when you look at this constituency and other parts of Wiltshire, the number of people who don’t vote for the Conservatives outnumbers those who do.”

This is correct in the Devizes constituency for 2019, only when considering adding the 30.6% who didn’t vote, reducing Danny Kruger’s 63% win to 43.8%, which Anne was keen to point out with pie charts. Another displays the predictions for the next general election, estimating Conservatives to take only 20.8%. Though they’re still winning, if combined, the votes of the other big three weigh in at 37.6%.

Without a united strategy to challenge this plummeting majority while the iron is hot, there’s confusion as who would be best to strategically vote for to overthrow the Tories, virtually a two percent difference between Lib Dems’ and Labour’s predicted results; herein lies the issue. Yet more concerning is this general frustration that it’s unsolvable, and the idea there is no point in voting at all if it’s always a foregone conclusion.

“That’s a really important group,” Anne expressed. “There’s about a third of people who don’t vote, particularly an issue for people under thirty, something like a third of those people are not even registered to vote. If you look at the numbers of the people who don’t vote in this constituency, if all those people voted and they didn’t vote conservative, that would change the result drastically.”

The Melksham & Devizes Primary offers a possibility we should view as an opportunity, a silver lining, provided enough people gets behind it. Its beauty is you’re not signing up, aligning, or devoting to anything. All they ask is we’re conscious of it and take heed of their valid, professional, and in-depth research.

Anne puts a leaflet in front of me headlined “let’s be clever and vote together,” and graphically depicting fish. Akin to the most haunting of Bruegel’s images, Big Fish Eat Little Fish, yet unlike the doomed fish in the painting, the smaller fish in this diagram are joined within an even bigger fish. Diagrams are all well and good, but is this possible in reality? Is it possible to overturn this historically Conservative seat, and exactly how does the Melksham & Devizes Primary intend to try? I asked Anne, and by the end of our chat I felt more confident there’s a real chance than ever before.

“I think the only way to outnumber the Conservatives is to make tactical voting public,” Anne continued, “basically to get people to coalesce around one of the alternative candidates, the Green, the Lib Dem, or the Labour, based on the best person for this constituency. Maybe that’s a local person, somebody who’s got experience, somebody who’s young and dynamic, whoever people think is the best person. And then to publicise that, saying if you want to vote tactically, we’ve asked through public Q&A sessions to decide who you think is the best placed person to represent the constituency. The majority say it’s this person, so we would recommend if you wanted to vote tactically, you vote for this person.”

My concern: I may not personally agree with this “chosen one”, and in knuckle-dragger’s inane flaw of fighting far-right government with an even further right party, are they invited? Though my initial plan to play devil’s advocate backfired, upon Anne showing me the rightwing-free graphics, we’re clearly only talking middle-of-the-road and left parties, and now I’ve nothing left but to nod in agreeance; I like this idea, and even if I didn’t, a bad plan is better than no plan… even Baldrick had a plan!

I wanted to confirm they’re not asking for anyone’s allegiance or association, as in signing your name in blood that you will vote for this chosen candidate no matter what. They’re only asking people to sign up to the website so they can distribute this information, which, cometh the day, we will gladly publish the result of their findings.

“We’re looking for people who want to be kept involved in some way, though”, Anne extended. “People who would like to be actively involved – because I think there are a lot of people out there who are alienated – feel like their vote doesn’t count. And the other thing is that people are unaware of the new requirements on voter ID.”

We chatted politics for some time and discussed our reasoning for mutually feeling the Conservatives have lost their path of vison, are out of touch and unsuitable to govern. “I’m very wary of party politics because I don’t like the factional way people fight; I’m more cooperative,” Anne stressed.

I believe such reasons are widespread yet obvious, and going into them here is a distraction from the objective, to highlight the Melksham & Devizes Primary; it was merely to confirm we’re singing from the same song sheet. Though my personal opinions are unprofessionally formed, on the basics I know and consume, Anne’s interest in politics is more specialised. She recalled her inquisitive childhood, telling me of her mum driving around, how she’d ask her, “who designs this one-way system, who says this goes here, who puts these street signs up?!”

Anne studied for a degree in public administration. “From there I’ve worked a lot in the public sector. I’ve worked for some of the big accountancy firms. So going into the public sector, I’ve worked inside local government, and I’ve worked inside the NHS. My whole interest when I was doing my degree was around value for money and the accountability when you pay your taxes. How is that money being spent? How do you know it’s being spent to best effect? How do the policy decisions that politicians make then get translated into the budgets and financial plans that cascade down from the vote in the Houses of Parliament to the town council and the county council?”

Enough backstory, it’s only to show Melksham & Devizes Primary aren’t randomly pushing a pin into a map. “My starting point”, Anne reverted onto the subject, “is predictions from an organisation called Electoral Calculus. They’ve predicted the general election result correctly for something like seven out the last eight. What they’re currently predicting is a Conservative majority of about 2,000. So, if people carry on doing the same old thing, we will get the same old results, because no other parties are predicted to exceed the number of Conservative votes. However, if you could combine the people who would vote for the Lib Dem and Labour together, you’ve got over 24,000 people. Combine them with the Greens, you’ve got a potential majority of over 12,000. It’s possible, I think. The only way to make a difference is to do something different.”

“So, for me, trying to run this primary model is the ‘doing something differently,’ because I am really frustrated that nobody’s done this. Why is nobody doing this? Why are people not out there, shouting and making a fuss? Why are the parties not working together? And quite often, the answer comes back to, well, the Lib Dems were in coalition with the Conservatives, and they let you down, which is exactly what you just said.”

She’s right too, I did suggest this when discussing the Tories coming back to power in the Cameron era, casting my vote to LibDems, who sold it to the Tories. But on a local level I’m back in support of LibDems, alongside Labour and Greens, and I don’t know which way to turn. I’m only adamant the Conservatives need to be taught a lesson. “In my opinion”, Anne said, which is bang on the money, “we need to think about what’s best for this constituency, the people who live here, and try to get past the someone did this, and she said that, and they did this, and they did that, yeah? The top priority: you change something.”

“I’m no friend of the Conservatives,” she continued, “I disagree with a lot of their policies. I think they’ve done a lot of damage to the country in the past thirteen years, particularly they’ve underfunded public services, you can see it day-in day-out. You only need to drive around the area to see potholes, and the reason there are potholes on the roads is because they’ve underfunded local government. That goes under the radar because people don’t understand the government and how it’s funded. The only way in this area is to somehow get people to back a candidate against the Conservatives.”

Anne reverts my attention to the graphs, “This graph shows good gains for the Lib Dems: this number has been getting progressively bigger. But there are other polls which put Labour ahead of Lib Dems in this area, so it’s not clear cut: Labour and Lib Dems are always close.”

The other factor is the moving of the constituency boundaries. To maintain a greater chance of winning more seats, the government has shifted the goalposts, splitting their safe seat in Devizes, which Michelle Donelan is eager to sit upon. “If now is not the time, I don’t know when is”, Anne expressed. I was keen to ask how they get this message out.

“So, we’ve been out with democracy meters, asking questions, what people think about, is the NHS safe in conservative hands, for example. And then people put stickers on the board, like they did with the Brexit campaign. We’ve done one in Devizes and in Bradford on Avon so far, and we’re planning to take it to Melksham”. They also plan to go door-to-door. They have a website which, “explains how it all works, and then we will organise some public question and answer sessions before the general election. We invite the candidates. This is not Hustings. This is not us trying to interfere in the democratic process. All these people stay on the ballot. We invite the public to come and talk to these people. Ask them questions. See what you think. Who do you think is the best person for this constituency?”

Melksham & Devizes Primary plan to live stream the events too, and record votes on who should be this chosen candidate. “The question is not who do we recommend,” Anne concluded, “rather, who do the public think is the right person for the constituency? [The recommendation is by] the people who’ve come to the events who’ve asked the questions in public.”

The papers she gave me optimistically conclude thus: “lose separately or win together.” I wish it was this cut and dry. Anne tells me they use a model from South Devon primary, and there are others too, one in East Wiltshire, where Danny Kruger will be standing. I gave thought to the surprise result in a 2021 North Shropshire by-election, a one hundred and seventeen year Conservative stronghold which fell to Lib Dem candidate Helen Morgan. Anne pointed out that that constituency was far more yellow than red, whereas here the vote is much more evenly split.

“Those constituencies have an obvious second choice”, she explained. “A lot of the political system …and the way that elections are framed in the mainstream media where the constituencies are marginal… there’s a lot of focus. The mainstream political parties will focus their energy and their attention on marginals because those are where the elections are won or lost. We have a situation where we are not marginal and our vote is evenly split, so neither Labour nor the Lib Dems nor Greens are targeting this seat, so they are not putting any significant resources beyond what they normally do into this constituency. They’re just ignored, ignored from their [central offices]. Well, that’s not good enough. Then everyone here thinks, ‘oh, there’s no point voting because they (Conservatives) just will always be in’. And then you’ll get people who do go out and vote for the other parties, but [they will vote for] whichever one they may think is best, and so split the vote. So the Conservatives always win. It’s the definition of madness, isn’t it? If you always do as you’ve always done, you’ll always get the same result if you don’t do anything differently.”

This caused me to visualise an animal in a cage, disturbingly trapped and perpetually sauntering back and forth. “Yeah, that’s a good analogy”, Anne agreed. We shouldn’t hold hope for a fictious David and Goliath scenario: only if we have multiple Davids will this work; only if we take the data, collate opinion, and stand united to strategically vote will anything ever change. So, here’s your starting point: join in on this website and Facebook Here, to follow the progress of Melksham & Devizes Primary and, when general election time comes around, consider the strategic option they present.

Thanks to Anne at Melksham & Devizes Primary for taking the time to explain. We had a nice chat. I reckon it’s a great idea, but it is something I doubt the mainstream media will be willing to publicise, that’s why we’re here! Dunno about you, but I’m sick to the back teeth of the underfunding, the ignorance and self-entitlement, the disregard for important social and ecological matters, the partying while people died, the supporting of xenophobia and genocide, the daily scandals and utter selfish thievery from the ones supposed to govern us, the ones we pay to serve us; change is a necessity now, let’s hope this works, I don’t type two thousand words for the love of it, mate!!

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Poppy Rose, Ready Now….

Not being able to hold a note myself, I tip my hat to any musician in a band. Yet there’s something so much more valiant,…

Shit Hits The Kennet; Local MP, Who Voted To Strip Legal Duty on Water Companies to Reduce Harm Caused by Storm Overflows Outraged by Water Company’s Inactions to Reduce Harm Caused by Storm Overflows!

On the eighth day of raw sewage gushing out of overflow drains into the River Kennet at  Stonebridge Wild River Reserve near Marlborough, like a gigantic diarrhoea-infected Oliver Reed relieving himself from the effects of a Special Brew and chlorinated chicken festival into the Buxton Spring, Thames Water has done 100% naff all, nada, and Danny Kruger, the local MP for the party who allowed this to happen, met ARK, a charity for the Rivers Trust for the Kennet catchment area, for a pre-election photo opportunity. The day after, today, no action has been reported to have taken place; let the poo flow free……

Yeah, Danny went onto his Facebook page to express his outrage, despite being one of the majority of Conservative MPs who, in October of 2021, voted with the House of Lords to reject amendments to reduce sewage pollution, basically allowing water companies to take whatever action they feel like when addressing the amount of raw sewage being dumped into our rivers, effectively passing the buck onto renowned callous profit-making private water companies. Surprised, given baby-faced Danny supported Prime Minister Boris Johnson when Prime Minister Boris Johnson held an inquiry to find out if Prime Minister Boris Johnson held a party during lockdown at Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s house?! Still the irony escapes Tory voters….

In a 2021 press release from ARK about the stripping out of the amendment in the Environment Bill, they said, “ARK and many other eNGOs are extremely disappointed by this result, as the government’s current plans, such as Drainage and Wastewater Management Plans (DWMPs), to address the issue do not compel water companies to take immediate action to tackle sewage pollution, meaning the state of our rivers could continue to decline indefinitely. DWMPs do not explicitly require the improvement of sewage infrastructure, nor do they require a reduction in the harm caused by sewage pollution. DWMP’s are also temporary. Whilst the current Ministers and Water Companies have the shared goal of eliminating the harm caused by storm overflows, there is nothing to say future incumbents will have the same view. Placing this duty on the face of the Environment Bill through this amendment will put it beyond legal doubt that it is the responsibility of all stakeholders to tackle sewage pollution.”

And here we are in reality, after a minor storm, raw sewage pouring into the Kennet, at Stonebridge, AND since New Year’s Eve, continuous discharging from Fyfield Sewage Treatment Works, and they’re continuing; I’ve seen prettier festival toilets. Widely reported as being one of the worst offenders of the new lack of regulations, Thames Water don’t hide it, in fact, after appointing a new CEO with a salary of £850,000, they say they “want to be open and transparent about our storm discharge activity,” and provide an interactive disaster area map, for all to see just how, quite literally, shit the situation is.

Here’s a map of all the outstanding issues of leaking drains Thames Water still hasn’t dealt with, provided by Thames Water themselves!

While we wait in hope, and poop, our local MP might pop back into his constituency once in a while, and tell us of any reply from his letter to Thames Water, I spoke to Peter Force Jones, True & Fair Party candidate for East Wiltshire, asking him where he thinks the blame for this shitshow should lie. “Thames water must take huge amount of blame here,” he expressed, “it’s clear they have continued to pay out massive salaries to those at the top, and are more than happy to mount up debts and pay out dividends despite failing to invest anywhere near adequately enough to update what is still often Victorian age infrastructure.”

Though Peter was adamant that equally was the government’s responsibility to, “put in tough and enforceable legislation (fully empowering regulators) to ensure water companies work hard to quickly see such overflows become a thing of the past. The other problems I currently see are MPs voting down sensible measures that could help, the Environmental Agency seeing a large exodus of experienced staff due to poor wages, and ill-equipped to take meaningful action against water companies. Also, a lack of consideration of capacity of sewers when some new developments are allowed, and sometimes the locations of these.”

Mr Jones also pointed to privatisation, or more accurately, the arrival of private sector monopolies, saying, “given we as consumers have no choice in the matter has not materially helped. Whilst the current government weren’t the ones who did this, they must still take responsibility for core basic services that everyone relies upon.” But, but, but Danny K visited Ark yesterday for a photo opportunity, isn’t this enough action from the government for you, Peter, or am I taking the piss?! After all, there’s plenty to take, a nearby river full of it. Least perhaps we should consider this come general election time. They’re trying to control shipping in the Red Sea, they can’t even control a popped drain cover in the Kennet.

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Tedworth Hunt Parade Without Permission this Boxing Day in Pewsey

The Tedworth Hunt intend to stage a meeting in Pewsey this Boxing Day, despite not making an application to the Parish Council…..

Their usual meeting place is moved to Fairground Field, behind the petrol station, as the Pewsey Parish Council have not received an application for them to congress at their usual spot, the parish council owned Bouverie Hall car park.

Wiltshire Hunt Sabs will be elsewhere today, but assure any protesters some Action Against Foxhunting members will be present to advise. It seems, provided they do not trespass, they’re legally above board to continue the meet, but to parade certain rules must be adhered to. 

Protesters should record and report any illegal activities to police, such as blocking roads or parking spaces, obstructing pedestrians or traffic, using unlicensed vehicles such as quad bikes on roads. AAF provides a comprehensive checklist HERE.

Trial by social media, it seems keyboard warriors aim to point the finger at the Parish Council for disallowing the meet at the hall, but that’s not the case. Pewsey Parish Council Clerk Ali Kent told Devizine, “I never received any request from the Tedworth Hunt to meet in the North Street car park today. We will never know which way any vote would have gone. Accusations that information has been hidden are extremely offensive to those of us who work hard for all of the community.”

I have to sing some praises for Pewsey Parish Council recently, the construction of the skatepark is a really positive move in creating a space for local youth. On this issue it cannot be judged on speculation. As hunting goes underground it will raise whole new circumstances, but Boxing Day parades are a promotional tool to normalise this barbaric tradition and are being stamped out by local councils. It rests on police to uphold the Hunting Act and prosecute accordingly; a Pandora’s box we’re not opening today!

It is a crying shame the season of goodwill doesn’t extend to our wildlife for these barbaric arseholes, as compelling evidence mounts trial hunting is a smokescreen it is time, in our opinion, to stop this now, by law.

In Response to a Facebook Post about Giving up Devizine….

You’re so gullible sometimes, you know that?! It’s not even nearly April Fools yet; I wouldn’t know how to abandon Devizine even if I wanted to, and I’m certainly not going let criticism get to me, for if that were the case, I’d have given up years ago!!

Playing the victim card as some do on their little social media groups does wonders for the ego! I thank everyone who made comments or passed wind, convincing me to stick with it. But you should note that the negativity is not from one person or their followers, there was a mountain of hate dumped at my door this year, some of it simply from a Newquest journalist publishing an article about us, because we took a stand against racism and homophobia. Enough said on that matter, but oh, matron…the cheeky scoundrels!!

Here, best explained in photos, is a million-ish (who’s counting?) reasons why I intend to continue creating content on this….ermm, whatever you want to whatchmacallit! And when I now wish you a merry Christmas and Happy New Year, I mean it to everyone, including and especially those who seem upset by what we may’ve put out or at least, how they perceived it…. because that sure wasn’t the intention.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! See you in 2024, and thank you all for your kind support!!

This ain’t no upwardly mobile freeway; Oh no, this is the road to Devizes

Ha! And you all thought ‘Driving Home for Christmas’ would be the go-to Chris Rea song while getting across Devizes, but in fact it’s ‘The Road to Hell!’

If you had the bizarre notion that engineering works were supposed to be coordinated by county councils, please seek medical attention, allowing yourself an extra millennium or three for your journey time to the quacks. Small mercies though, it seems, venting your frustrations on the Devizes Issues Facebook group will see you in social media exile, and that could be the breath of fresh air you really need right now!

If Wiltshire Council are coordinating road works they’re doing so with a game of Kerplunk. Driving through Devizes in rush-hour this week is enough to make Jeremy Clarkson consider joining Extinction Rebellion. Roadworks causing commuting chaos in Devizes is hardly news, but this is the first time the number of sets of traffic lights has outnumbered the population of the town!

We have to accept the rolling Wessex Water works providing essential new piping, ongoing until the second coming of the age of Aquarius, but right now they’ve reached the handy junction of Long Street and Sheep Street, closing this cheeky detour off. And given there’s an ongoing issue with piping on Nursteed Road too, perhaps it’s not the best time to lob a third set of traffic lights into the equation at the crucial junction of New Park Street and Northgate Street, basically your only escape route west, especially being this is to accommodate a new build, so no one is affected if it was to wait, save the building contractor.

Enter the ever proactive Wiltshire Council with the genius solution; one more set of traffic lights isn’t going to amount to a hill of beans, not Heniz 33 variety anyway. It was high time for them to suddenly repair just the one of the ten bazillion (that’s a gazillion jillions to you) drain-hole-cover-caused moon crater fashioned potholes, bang outside the Town Hall, which was reported months ago according to a commenter on the Devizes Issues Facebook group….ooo, controversial, I’m not supposed to be poking my snout in there. Somebody chastise me with a blue rosette.

All hail the mighty one, for he hath spoken on his all-powerful Facebook page. Defending the indefensible, the happy chappy no one seems to see any conflict of interests in being both a town and county councillor, plus ruling a popular local social media group with an iron fist, laughably lobbed his toys far from his pram at those understandably venting their frustrations there for the unnecessary logjam, apparently. I wouldn’t know, for speaking my mind got me banned. Anyone with a functioning brain cell to realise the true test to know mein führer Yan Wallish has lost the argument is when he adds, as he did on this occasion, “comments are going off!” suffers the same treatment. Off with their heads!

It’s enough to wonder why the smeg he administers a discussion group, if it wasn’t for the numerous occasions he’s blatantly used it to fib and derail competing electoral opposition.

Though this isn’t a rant at any individual, you know me better than to do that, it does relate to the worm who turned, being a few years ago while a businessman in town, rather than a busybody councillor with a penchant to tinpot dictate, he would’ve sided with the frustrations of local shopkeepers who will undoubtedly lose out.

For their sake I’ve refrained from whining about the congestion issue in Devizes, but as the incompetence of Wiltshire Council to update our infrastructure accordingly and coordinate roadworks, has caused Captain Kirk to move to red alert, the elephant in the room is now an elephant sanctuary. Now it is criminal not to raise concern, as I believe sitting in your car for an hour, seeing red, or dangerously clogging our unsuitable village rattrap alternative routes will cause accidents. 

I beg you try your best to keep calm, despite being aware it’s easier said than done. The roadworks aren’t going away anytime soon, so we must adapt, plan accordingly. 

We have to generally reduce our car usage whenever possible. Be united and courteous when driving around the town, car share wherever possible, maybe buy next year’s Christmas gifts at the same time as this year’s, take a sleeping bag, emergency food and water supplies when trekking more than a quarter of a millimetre, or a laptop to rework War & Peace!

It’s obvious when comments are turned off from debating the issue by those in a position to speak out for us, speaking out for us will transmodify into the usual brown-tonguing exercise and nothing will ever be done to improve the problem.

Watching the Winter Solstice at Stonehenge or Avebury: How to Prepare

The Winter Solstice at either Stonehenge or Avebury remains one of the most awaited Pagan celebrations of the year, with thousands of visitors gathering to mark the longest night of the year. Attendance levels have risen at Stonehenge since the lifting of restrictions, allowing participants to once again commune with one another and get up close and personal with the sacred stones that have stood their ground for around 5,000 years. Observing the solstices is a deeply traditional practice to mark the passage of time, and one that farmers and ancient dwellers relied on heavily for harvesting and livelihood. Today, the Winter Solstice is celebrated as a day of renewal – and reconnecting with nature and the self…..

During this festive time, members of New Age tribes like the Pagans, Druids, and Wiccans, as well as onlookers, make their respective journeys to the site well before dawn breaks. A massive horn is sounded to mark the beginning of the ceremony, after which numerous rituals take place – be it chanting, singing, or other activities – before everyone watches the sun rise perfectly in between the stones to signify a new year ahead.

Now, unlike the Summer Solstice celebration, where traditional Druid attire may call for a flowing white robe, the weather conditions during the Winter Solstice are naturally very different. To adequately prepare for one of the most magical nights of the year – and to ensure you stay warm and comfortable throughout – it’s important to pack the right gear and come properly bundled up for the festivities.

Warm clothes for the cold

Because the Winter Solstice typically occurs on the 21st or 22nd of December, you can expect temperatures to fall in the 0°C to 7°C range, which means warm clothes are an absolute must. Aside from thick outerwear, opt for multiple layers of heat-trapping fabric, such as polyester and merino wool. Wearing several thin layers of clothing instead of a few thick layers may help keep you warmer – the air trapped within each layer will insulate heat better and keep it around your body. Don’t forget a scarf and headwear to top things off. Additionally, there are around eight to fifteen rainy days in the month of December, which means you’ll want to pack adequate rain protection.

Sunglasses for sun protection

This celebration is all about witnessing the magnificent sun, so one would be remiss not to pack some sun protection, especially for your eyes. Part of the celebration involves looking directly at the sun as it rises and sets over the famous stones, and that can pose a risk to eye health. Even if it is cloudy, it doesn’t mean the sun’s rays can’t still cause some damage. A pair of polarised sunglasses are ideal if you want to see the sun rise and set without fear of damaging your eyes. These glasses can block glare from the sun, which can also lead to improved clarity and contrast while offering 100% UVA and UVB protection against the sun’s rays. The Ray-Ban Original Wayfarer Classic features acetate frames, which won’t absorb cold, unlike their metal counterparts, so even if it is bright and still bitterly cold as it can be in the middle of winter, you’ll still be comfortable. Also, during winter celebrations, a handy pair of sunglasses can protect your eyes from harsh, cold winds, so keep them on to minimise eye irritation and ensure your vision is clear for taking that picture-perfect sunrise shot.

Shoes to trudge through mud

Given the rainy season, the grass around Stonehenge can get muddy if it’s rained the night before. A durable pair of wellies will keep your feet snug and protected. The original Muck Boot Forager has foldable rubber, meaning you can adjust it to three different heights depending on weather conditions. The memory foam insole will keep you comfortable, and the outsole provides traction that will keep you from slipping and tripping as you explore the site and touch the stones.

When you’re well-dressed and well-prepared, especially for such a momentous occasion, you can avoid weather-related discomfort, keep from catching a nasty cold, and truly focus on celebrating with those around you. If anything, the thing that will keep you warmest during the Winter Solstice is the company.

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Swindon’s MECA Defends its Right to Promote Racism

A sad state of affairs in which it is equal in measure that the campaign against Swindon venue MECA hosting known far right extremist and racist celebrity Katie Hopkins will have a diverse effect in actually promoting the event, the reactions to the outcry highlights how deep and ingrained the issue of racism is locally. I put this to campaigner Kate Linnegar of the group Swindon Stand Up to Racism, who replied, “a risk I considered, but if it raises awareness, the people who go to it are probably lost to our beliefs already.”

Evidently, one Facebook commenter lambasts, “really shows who the snowflakes are,” yet equally, it shows who the gammons are too, as another writes, “without freedom of speech – we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.”

And freedom of speech is a phrase being knocked about quite a bit over this controversy, the only issue with it is the wonky interpretation of the term by those in support of racism. If we’re talking leftwing, rightwing here, historically it’s the latter determined to stifle freedom of speech, something George Orwell warned us about. I would challenge anyone to find me a liberal or leftwinger which denounces freedom of speech, but sorry, being allowed to incite prejudice and hate is NOT freedom of speech, not even in the same ballpark, neither is it legal.

Amnesty International states “in certain circumstances free speech and freedom of expression can be restricted. Governments have an obligation to prohibit hate speech and incitement. These are dangerous. Restrictions can also be justified if they protect specific public interest or the rights and reputations of others.”

Furthermore, you’d like to think it should be in everyone’s moral standing not to incite hate, as is the golden rule from Luke 6:31, to “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” But hey, if “freedom of speech” is all fine and dandy with you guys, it would be acceptable for me to suggest you are wrong, Katie Hopkins is not a comedian, rightwing extremists do not do jokes, they are the fucking joke. She’s an egregious xenophobic, homophobic and fascist hag, but I didn’t say this, I only suggested if I wanted to, according to your philosophy of the issue, it would be inoffensive and acceptable. 

But Swindon MECA seem adamant a vociferous racist homophobe, who incites hatred at every available opportunity and has been banned from several countries such as South Africa for doing so, will not be tempted to voice such bollocks at this event. They told us, “as a venue, whilst we do not agree with or condone many of the statements Katie has made in the past, we firmly believe that everyone has the right to a place on our stage. The event in question is not a hate rally as it is being portrayed by some. It is a comedy show, reviews of which state that Katie pokes more fun at herself than anything else and we do not have concerns that the event will be anything other than the comedy show that has been promised.” 

Reviews direct from her PR agent, ahem, if I said in reference to this statement, MECA hasn’t got the balls to stand up for the decency and equality it claims to uphold against the idea it’s going to make some serious wonga from this and stick two fingers up to the cultural diversity of the town it’s located in, but I purposely slip on a banana skin whilst saying it, MECA would, in effect, honour my right to do so, as it’s comedy, and provide me my place on its stage? Remind me to ask them!

They unbelievably continue thus, “To limit those able to perform here because they may have opposing views and opinions to us would do a great disservice to the community. In the past we have played host to many controversial figures and comedians without issue and, as a venue, are not willing to play into the harmful cancel culture of recent years.” Cancel culture, I give you. They. Said. This. Shite! A random muse generated by the far right as an excuse to incite prejudges at will and get away with it. There’s no such thing as cancel culture, you fucking knobjockey grand national winners, the only thing cancelled is the braincells of anyone using the utter piffle!

It is nothing to do with limiting “opposing views and opinions;” does it look to you from this article that I am what you call a “snowflake,” or in any manner opposing the usage of freedom of expression when I try so desperately hard to get this through the concrete breeze blocks you call your cranium?! It’s about stopping the spread of unjustified hatred due to prejudges, like the colour of one’s skin, their gender orientation, weight, if they happen to need glasses, choose not to eat meat, or whatever pathetic and inane slurs this washed up, hateful, cobblestone slag posts on her dire, wank-stained Twitter account! 

Ah, evidently, two can play that game, you go waste your hard-earned dollar on this complete bollocks when there’s a hundred better events at a hundred other local venues who seem to have a better moralistic standing. We are boycotting this glorified bingo hall, clearly with an agenda supporting racism is not something we will entertain here. Naturally, you are welcome to your opinion, but this is not “cancel culture,” you shinest spanner in the toolbox, it is common fucking sense in what is supposed to be a caring and compassionate country, slowly being overrun by dickwarts of the highest calibre.

20’s Plenty Says Devizes Town Councillors

Let’s face facts, they’re not referring to their average age here, are they?! Today’s topic is belting through town like a headless chicken escaping Colonel Sanders. I’ll give credit where it’s due, Gazelle and Herod’s whippersnapper reporter Justin reported the proposal for speed limit reduction from 30 to 20mph in Devizes town centre. And what I’m going to say might shock you, but I’m with the town council on this one……

The crucial article stated Wiltshire Council proposals to create 20mph zones from the A360 from Northgate Street to Long Street, via The Market Place and St John’s Street, as well as other roads in and around the town centre.

It goes on, “the scheme has been supported by members of the town council during consultation, with councillors “pushing for a reduction” for some time,” and quoted Devizes Guardian, Cllr Jonathan Hunter, who believes the change would, “have a positive impact on both road safety and air quality in the town centre.”

Yet, it’s the comment section, yeah, where keyboard warriors usually fire off blanks from their spud-guns, where we find questionable responses. Mostly piffle, as you could imagine, but some raise an eyebrow, so rather than they go unchallenged, I thought I’d point them at Cllr Jonathan Hunter directly.

The only one bang on the money goes under the handle ‘Miker G,’ who, if memory serves me righty had an excruciating 1986 chart-topper with DJ Sven, rapping over Madonna’s Holiday. He gives it, “I’d love to know how to get through Devizes going as fast as 20mph;” Showstopper! Nice one Mike, for no matter how you ring-reng-a-dong for a holiday, you’ll probably only get as far as Ocean City on New Park Street! The others left their sense of humour behind, let’s concentrate on them.

Award for the most ill-informed goes to ‘Synical Sam,’ without getting cynical I’m presuming he means cynical, and he called out Jonathan as a liar, twice in the same sentence! “Tell the truth Cllr,” he suggested, “it is a cash cow, we all know it so tell the truth.”

Using caps lock I think I can handle this one lone. Jonathan is a TOWN COUNCILLOR, and the TOWN COUNCIL do NOT get revenue from speeding fines, silly sausage! “I have zero connection with Wilshire Council,” Jonathan confirmed, “I’m not involved in any of the actual decision making. It’s just the fact we’re applauding it. We’re a local group, saying we’d like to see this in more areas. The fact people are thinking Wiltshire Council are gonna suddenly put cameras on to try and get revenue is just an absolute ridiculous myth!”

Even if, as I did waffle on the idea, using St Edith’s Marsh’s 30mph as a shiny example where they love to sit masticating on onion bhajis, the police can rock up on the day of the changes and hand out tickets like nightclub owners hand out flyers, Devizes Town Council won’t get so much as a bite of their samosa. Jonathan dismissed it promptly. “The police would have to comment on that, that’s not a council affair.” Though it opened a Pandora’s box on the way he envisioned those who accidently went over the speed reductions should be handled. “Anybody can make a mistake and we should have a tolerant society; we shouldn’t have a forensic kind of measurement of everything we do.”

It’s the environmental issue we need dwell, the only rational point in the comments. Ingeniously named ‘Newsfan’ typed, “for my layman’s, unscientific mind, please tell me how air quality is improved by vehicles crawling through at 20mph. Especially as this will more than likely mean being in at least 3rd gear if not lower. I’m sorry but the pedestrian is not King no matter how much you penalise the motorists or quote ‘green improvements’.”

This made me ponder if there was any truth in this, though Miker G might rap it matters not, getting up to 20mph in Devizes town centre is a dream. In response ‘Jimmy Hilly’ took from an extensive study by TFL, “20mph zones do not appear to worsen air quality and they dramatically reduce road danger. They also support a shift to walking and cycling, generate less traffic noise and reduce community severance.”

Jonathan dismissed it too, and we’ve fact-checked what he says with Sustainable Devizes. “I think there’s a lot of people, you know, sat somewhere on a keyboard with some made-up kind of human knowledge about whatever, without any facts, and you know, it’s life isn’t it? Life is full of lots of different views. The scientific facts for drivers of internal combustion engine powered vehicles are the more you press that accelerator the more fuel you will burn, the more emissions that you will create, obviously. The more environmentally friendly the vehicle is, as in its CO2 emissions are lower the less impact that will have, but even going from 30 to 20 is significant. When you multiply that by X amount of thousands of cars going through Devizes or wherever it happens to be……”

“We’ve a constrained traffic situation and not helped by the fact if you want to go to Salisbury or Andover or Swindon, you’ve gotta go through Devizes. It’s a mediaeval town and 21st century traffic, but if, and this is the point I made in The Gazette, if everything is in sync, if everything is going to 30, it doesn’t make any difference if everything’s going to 20. Because you’re in sync it will have an impact, and obviously on safety as well.”

Twenty, thirty, forty, makes no odds, you will always have spanners who ignore it, but if it makes the average moralistic motorist slow it can be no bad thing. Once the twenty limit is normalised, as it already is across many other towns and villages locally, you won’t contemplate it, as was the backlash against drink driving rules or seatbelts in the eighties; watch this video, redneck! How bizarre in reflection, and if boy racers complain about a meagre ten-mph reduction after some time, your argument will seem as absurd.

Twenty is plenty, get used to it, and climate change denialists, you should want to slow down; too fast on a disc-shaped planet and you’ll drive straight over the edge… do us all a favour!!

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A View to a Thrill

“The Thrill of Love” at the Wharf Theatre by Ian Diddamsimages by Chris Watkins Media Just over a year ago, the Wharf theatre performed a…

“Make This Your Last Day?” A Thought on the Bus Driver Who Fell Asleep at the Wheel

So, bus driver Xavier Peediyakal of Swindon, admits he fell asleep at the wheel when he collided with an oncoming vehicle, and has been banged up for eighteen months. We are sorry to hear the Calne BMW driver with whom he collided with sustained multiple injuries and a few passengers on the bus also received minor injuries, but have to question remarks made about the incident by PC Leigh Mayhew, of Wiltshire Police’s Serious Collision Investigation Team….

For, it seems, PC Leigh Mayhew also dozed off when he left the real world, but at least passed his level one in supercilious patronisation at training college. He stated on a Wiltshire Police Facebook post, “the case should send a clear message to drivers, especially those operating large vehicles, of their responsibilities to operate safely. Tiredness can kill – please take a break if you feel that your tiredness is likely to impact your ability to drive safely.” Well, I never; who knew?!

See Facebook Post Here

The key point here is legally he is correct, of course; legally it is the responsibility of the driver. The company which employs him is not to be blamed, nor the system which pushes the buttons; the wheels on the bus go round and round. But as it’s Sunday I’ve got a story to tell which I feel relevant, so if you’re sitting comfortably then I’ll begin….. 

Once upon a time I was pleased to be back working after struggling to find a job for a year. I was to be a delivery driver for a company you will likely know. I will not name them as I believe they have since changed management, and hopefully work ethics. A week into my job, ending my day last afternoon I was told tomorrow I was on “the London run.” This consisted of a 2am start time; my argument I had never done the run before fell on deaf ears. On a zero hours contract I started when they told me, I finished when they told me, and if they didn’t have any work, my family did not eat.

Let’s call the chap who usually does this run, Rupert, for want to add a smidgen of humour to an otherwise unamusing anecdote. “Look at Rupert,” the boss barked, “he’s walking around with two stones in his eyes, someone else has to do the run as well.” Funny thing; they didn’t tell Rupert he had the morning off, and was there upon my arrival, so joined me to show me the ropes. Lucky he did, the sat-nav was as much use as a chocolate fireguard, and being the concept was to deliver to a few locations and return with one big collection ready for the daytime vans, I would never have found my way and be back in time without his occasional navigation tips, through snoring the remaining journey.

On the return journey I supposed I would be put on a local run which ended earlier than rest, he just laughed at my naivety. I was told to swap vans, as it was the only one they had left; a Mercedes, the pride of fleet, and I was to do “the Swindon run,” which I had also never done before. A deceiving title, the route took me through Marlborough to Wotton Bassett and Wroughton, into Swindon, sure, but continued to Newbury, Oxford, right into Buckinghamshire and the North Cotswolds; oh, how we laughed!

Later in my employment it was a run I would master, but without guidance on any running order, I devised to head north from Swindon, take out the Cotswolds, and loop back through Oxfordshire to finish at Newbury. Being I had been working since 2am without a break, time was of the essence, but my sequence was, of course, wrong; the phone rang when I was at Bicester to bark annoyance at me, I hadn’t done the drop at Newbury and they were desperate. I turned around and raced back down the notorious A34, and back up again. To cut an exceptionally boring story short, it was 6:30pm when I reached my final drop near Buckingham. It was chucking it down by the time I returned to base in Devizes, and after eighteen and half hours of consistent driving my eyes were near closing by their own accord. So much so, I caught the rear bumper on the wall of the narrow entrance to base, and scratched it.

I was accused of “deliberate sabotage,” and yelled at no end. It was the first time of many I had heard their infamous saying “make this your last day, then?” For if you refused a job, no matter how long you had already worked for that day, there were, apparently, a thousand more people out there willing to. If you did not complete the task as quickly as possible, despite a more formal job description being you should not speed, you would be lucky if you, and your family too, were only mocked in an insanely offensive form of banter and not handed your P45.

I continued with this absurdity, bit my tongue and took the corporate shafting for years, so I could put food on the table. I have to wonder if PC Leigh Mayhew has any understanding of this situation, as it is for millions of unskilled workers.

Of course, you are right, Leigh, tiredness can kill, but we know this, and anyone with an ounce of moral standing would so obviously abide by it. You are only preaching to the converted, the ones without said moral standing will not take heed, neither will the pressure of the system of a competitive market.

Replies to the Facebook post reflect this: “Maybe he wasn’t able to take adequate rest breaks. Maybe he felt he couldn’t report to his superiors that he wasn’t fit to drive. I would have less sympathy if he was driving a personal vehicle that he had a choice to drive but to be paid to do a job sometimes you feel obligated to push through no matter how crappy you might feel.”

“You say don’t drive tired but it’s almost unavoidable when companies will work you to the bone and if you call in because you’re tired you will be penalised for it. What are we meant to do when either option is to risk your job?”

“Take a good look people. This is what happens when there is a driver shortage.

The company reports millions in profit, shares that with the irresponsible shareholders and doesn’t think to share it amongst the people who really matter. But instead will put all the pressure on said individuals!”

“Message to drivers??!!!! Maybe to companies, is them making drivers work long hours!!!! Try to sit for 5.30 hours constantly and don’t get tired!!!!”

There’s a whole lot of exclamation marks on that last quote, which I think suggests an exclamation, defined as “a sudden cry or remark expressing surprise or a strong emotion,” because it is a crying shame and a shocking surprise that a leading officer of Wiltshire Police could be so insensitive to the daily affairs of a wider issue than this particular isolated incident.

I am unaware of the work ethics of Stagecoach, but believe they should look into it, but not to single out any one company, as many, let’s face it, are guilty of pushing drivers to their limits, and drivers are persuaded to do this in order to protect their job. It is not an open and shut case to simply prosecute the driver, but the police’s job to investigate why a driver was driving so tired.

I’m not ruling out a driver might well be burning the candle at both ends, it may well be the case in certain circumstances, but a fear of your job if you tell them you are not up to the task is the culprit in my more general rant, given my personal experience. And they all lived happily ever after, the end.

Devizes Hosts First Pride

Okay, god knows I need my beauty sleep more than most, and on a promise to attend the wonderful Mantonfest, it was only ever going to be a brief drop-in to Hillworth Park to check out Devizes inaugural Pride, but I’m glad I did.

After an evening of drag queen bingo at the Wyvern Club, people gathered for a picnic styled event at the park with a handful of stalls and attractions. It was only ever going to be a small event, compared to Chippenham’s recent first Pride where they pulled out all stops, but it most certainly was well attended and a landmark in progressing Lgbtq in the town. A huge congratulations should go out to chief organiser Oberon Christmas, drag queen act Miss Lucy Luscious Lips and all in the Devizes LGBTQ group.

Likely the influence of the new Chippenham mayor Declan Baseley, not only the youngest mayor at 27, but first openly gay person too, which accelerated the appeal in Chippenham, hopefully will rub off on neighbouring towns also staging a Pride at varying levels. I’m of the thinking, though, it shouldn’t need the undertaking of someone in both the LGBTQ community and council to assist in staging such events, and town councils could do more to financially support such annual occasions, we all could.

Clashing with town’s annual beer festival was Devizes Pride’s major teething trouble, but it sure is a step in the right direction and wonderful to see the rainbow flags flying out of park as attendees dispersed from the park. What the small group achieved here this weekend was far bigger than the event itself. But as Oberan explained to me, it was a lot of work for them to stage themselves. Pride is not a LGBTQ meeting, but rather an open to all celebration of the common acceptance of equality on many levels, and, personally, I felt this was the vibe at Devizes’ first Pride. From small acorns, I’d really like to see this event sponsered and supported by the town in the coming years. Whatever we can do to help this move forward, Devizine will.

Devizes New Chair to Area Board of Wiltshire Council…Guess Who?!

Last night Wiltshire Councillors voted in Councillor Iain Wallis as the Chair to the Area Board for Devizes. Meaning any grants to community groups, youth organisations, sports clubs and local charities, have to go through him.

Much as I would like to offer my congratulations to councillor Wallis, I feel it is imperative to question many aspects to this with regards to community led projects, other town councillors, youth project workers and the many various other residents who he seems to neglect the opinions of by silencing them and banning them from his Facebook group, the local legendarily biassed, Devizes Issues.

Part of his new job description reads thus: “to provide a local platform for local engagement and conversation.” Will the Devizes Issues be this platform, if he doesn’t allow any opinion differing from his own? Let’s make no mistake here, opposition councillor’s election campaigns have been slandered on this Facebook group, the independent PCC and all of his supporters were barred from posting, a Devizes-based Covid support group was banned from the group, all by this councillor’s hand.

Wiltshire Council’s website explains “area boards exist to work alongside other organisations to make things happen in the community. These groups can include town and parish councils, voluntary and community groups, youth organisations, sports clubs and local charities,” groups as such which he has attempted to silence, including a residents committee set out to solve issues regarding the Crammer.

The description of what the Area Boards do continues, “An important role of the Area Boards is to provide grants to community groups. There are three main funding streams, which include community capital grants, youth grants, and older and vulnerable adult grants.” Yet we know faithful local youth worker Steve Dewar, who works tirelessly school mentoring, liasoning with Devizes Police, Wiltshire FA, RW Football School and Wiltshire YFC and has independently setup a youth pop-up cafe providing free facilities for local youth, also received the honorary ban from Mr Wallis’s “local platform for local engagement and conversation.”

You are within your rights to complain about this decision, but being he is also on the standards committee, you will most likely be better off talking to a brick wall.

Let’s go through what the Wiltshire Council website says about the overall focus of the tasks of the Area Boards:

“Develop a strong, well established and highly functioning network of local partners, organisations, and residents. Generate an in-depth understanding of our local communities, including the demographics and the issues faced by the residents. Empower and facilitate community led action. Recognise the talents, expertise, and knowledge of our communities, trusting and supporting them to co-deliver local services. Ensure decisions are taken in consultation with and close to the residents that they affect.
Effectively share data and intelligence at a local level. Provide a local platform for local engagement and conversation.
Deliver an opportunity for residents to gain an understanding of the way the council works. Finally, help deliver the Wiltshire Council business plan at a local level with the involvement of communities.”

Now, I ask you, does any of these match with the manner in which he has conducted himself on his Facebook group? Suggesting that time, he would go ahead and continue publishing town council matters regardless of if the council voted individual councillors should refrain from posting such information or not; remember that ickle controversy?!

We will continue to question the suitability of Mr Wallis in this position, given the factors expressed in the opinion piece, and I see this as justified criticism, not, as he himself has stressed on more than one occasion, as “harassing and bullying” him, for that is both not our intention, and indeed, an outright lie. In order to undergo this task effectively, as clearly stated on the website, engaging with the community would, in my opinion, mean everyone within that community and not only the ones who agree with him personally, otherwise that is most certainly not impartial to political and social sway, as proved by the governing of his social media group.

We publish this as a concerning development which seriously risks the future of community led events, organisations and schemes within the Devizes area, as any councillor who seems only focused on pushing the agenda of one national political party will endeavour to allow only those who back them too, and agree with his opinion. This we have discovered by the manner in which he controls his social media group, which would be totally his prerogative to do so, of course, if he wasn’t in such a conflicting position of power.

It does seem such a shame, that this essentially hardworking and proactive councillor cannot seem to overcome this issue of allowing an entire community to communicate freely without the threat of being silenced for simply disagreeing on a particular issue. We too face this terrible predicament, any good work we do at Devizine, whether it be charity, promotion of events, schools and community groups, they will always remain blocked and heavily criticised in order to make way for some grand pipedream of creating an “official’ council run website which basically rests under his control but steals our ideas and input, and you, the council taxpayer will fork out for. God bless us all, for we are going to need it!!

Humble Pie Over Danny K’s Coate Road Development Comments Rant? Unlikely!

Oh Deirdre me, we can’t all be as perfect and flawless as Councillor Iain Wallis, and as the Dalek said climbing off the dustbin, we all make mistakes!

Cream crackered after my standard early shift, on Tuesday I rushed out a knee-jerk reaction to Danny Kruger’s comments against the permitted Coate Road development, because I knew other local media would also jump on the bandwagon; you have to be quick to beat the big guns.

It has since come to light, thanks to a civilised reply from councillor Judy Rose, some of the content is slightly misinformed, but while I’m willing to admit it, if you think I’m eating humble pie you can think again! There remains a more general crucial point, I figure, even if some facts about the development itself weren’t, precisely, on the ball.

I might just nibble the crust, if humble pie comes with a crust, or is it more like a shepherd’s pie? Either way it’s unlikely I’ll dive right in, least of all apologise, that’s sooo not me! Much of the content was taken from a BBC article, and what can I say? I pay my licence fee, local media source content from the Tory-bias Beeb, at least I tarnish mine with opinion rather than lift it wholesale. 

It was Danny’s u-turned angle which had me suspicious, it seemed now he was in support of the campaign against it, as before this storm in a teacup I too was dead against the location of this development and signed petitions against it. But the reasoning for Tuesday’s article was my dubiousness of anything which comes out of Danny’s silver-spooned cakehole; can you really blame me for that?!

Justified, I believe, after his several chauvinistic and homophobic comments. Comments which I called him out for, and via Councilor Iain Wallis’s wonky peepers, constituted me being “unpleasant,” I quote. Trying to twist my melon around this, ol’ Danny K can cast any archaic and deplorable views he feels fit to do so, and use his position as MP to preach his narrow-minded religious dogma, but if I question him for it, I’m the one being “unpleasant?” Okay, that sounds fair!

“I’m afraid you’ve really got this wrong,” Judy expressed, “Not about Kruger, although I find his conversion to opposing the 5-year housing land supply a rather dramatic and convenient vote-solidifying change-of-heart, but about the very real concerns regarding the Coate Road development.” Which is fair enough, and enlightening too. For it is far nicer to address such corrections to us directly, rather than Mr Wallis, who opted to post his hatred only on his own biassed Facebook group, Devizes Issues, of which anyone who disagrees is promptly banned, including us.  

This practice of slagging us off behind our backs is standard for this particular councillor, and far from the first time he has done so. Why he does this I can only speculate neither wish to dwell on, but being he recently posted a claim Wiltshire Council is about to produce an events guide, (obviously at taxpayer’s expense) seems he is determined to attempt to wreck our good reputation, or ruin us all together. I’d imagine because he has no control over us. It is vindictive and spiteful, and given such circumstances it is evident, much less blatantly obvious, his intention wasn’t to correct us, rather deliberately discredit us.

Back on point, Judy explained, “The traffic from this housing estate would mostly use London Road, or rat-run via Coate to access the Swindon road. Adding potentially some 4-500 cars to that stream of traffic is a nightmare scenario by any account, which is why it was refused last time round, and nothing has changed in the interim. More affordable (and we can get into precisely what that is supposed to mean on another occasion, as in my view, it frequently is anything but!) housing is desperately needed, but there will be precious little of it on this or any other site if the developers do their usual cavalier approach and whittle down the numbers to as near zero as they can!”

“I have been on the Neighbourhood Plan team for over 10 years, and the most frustrating thing is that we cannot get the numbers of affordable housing up because developers just will not build them, so please don’t imagine that if this scheme went ahead, there would be a sudden upsurge in their numbers! The developer may well be bragging about 30% affordable housing, but we’ve been here before with other developer promises, and I’ve yet to see any dramatic increase in numbers of so-called affordable housing! Traffic jams would certainly increase, but not affordable housing numbers!”

And herein was my point, if confused with the details of the development itself, that affordable, and by this I mean it by the actuality of the word, affordable, is needed. If I was trashed by Iain for stating 10% was the minimal requirement, I did clearly say that was a national requirement, not a county one, leading me to ponder if it was deliberate skewering of my words, or if he simply missed that point, either of which suggests I wasn’t the only one who made a mistake! But whatever, it is obvious this percentage needs to be increased significantly by Wiltshire Council, otherwise they’re building homes only the few can afford, and not enough for those who cannot; Tory economics.

Ergo my suspicions this is deliberately done to uphold the conservative stranglehold on our constituency at a time they fear their national level corruption will come back to haunt them, even here, is, I believe, reasonable to assume. Fair to note, this is also the reason while Conservative MPs will fight between themselves over the boundary changes in the next General Election, as Chippenham MP Michelle Donelan knows full well her seat is safer if the Devizes parliamentary constituency is merged with hers.

But I want this change as I fear this recession will worsen tenfold if the current thieving parliament continues, and more will be on the streets. I want this change because I want diversity in the age demographic here; it is a nice place to live, this wouldn’t change by allowing younger people to be able to start a home and family here too. But they are driven out by house prices, and this is unfair and morally corrupt. This was my general point, and I believe it is still valid; what is the best Wiltshire can do?

“The best Wiltshire seems to be able to do is to propose a site for social housing at the western end of town where it is not only outside the settlement framework boundary,” Judy continued, “but its location also ignores the other criteria of the current Neighbourhood Plan which stipulates that the town centre, GP Surgeries, major shops and schools should all be within walking distance of any development! At well over a mile from any of these, this site fails, yet it is still likely to go ahead, with increased car usage, mainly because it is a Wilts Council proposal on Wilts Council land!” Does this mean every small village and hamlet will have to be knocked down?! Of course not, if residents cannot walk a mile, they need to rely on an improved bus service; pie in the sky called infrastructure, it works in towns and cities far bigger than ours!

“There are sites that are more appropriate than Coate Road, but they are not coming forward, and it is not unreasonable to assume that this is because the developers wouldn’t make as much profit on affordable builds as they would otherwise.” Once again, the Tory economics, the majority mind-bogglingly voted for!

I thank Judy for filling us in, and explaining this twisted catch 22; I am clearer now, though remain unsatisfied; does this give others reason to hate me? We will always support the needs of the townsfolk and villagers, we would never go against this, and we are back to opposing the Coate Road development again, even if it means agreeing with Danny K!

But this was never, as falsely accused by Councillor Wallis, a personal attack on our homophobic and chauvinistic MP any more than deserved, only pondering why he had changed his view so fiercely on the issue. If, Mr Wallis, you can point out exactly where I have been in any way “unpleasant” as you so boldly put it, and do so in such a place it can be discussed civilly then please do, and I will, unlike you, apologise. But if you continue to unfairly discredit us on a social media site you have deliberately prevented us access to, you will face further criticism, but I love you Mr Wallis, like I love all mankind, and have never verbally attacked you personally, as you have to me; I forgive.

“The original refusal really was all about the traffic, and nothing to do with how any householders would vote,” Judy concluded, “Goodness knows, the majority of folk here who do bother to use the ballot box would vote for a donkey wearing a blue rosette without much further inducement!” 

And thus we go around in circles; expect an unjustified “told you so” grilling from the Devizes führer on his partisanship pile of piffle Facebook page, of which, because of our brute honesty, we cannot respond to, complete with the usual false allegations of victimisation, how we are bullying him and how, Trump-like, we are spreading “fake news.” At least I can admit when I got it wrong, or do we still need to slaughter every flying animal in the area because of an imaginary outbreak of bird flu on the Crammer?!  

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Danny Kruger Throws Toys out of His Pram Over Affordable Housing Development in Devizes

The BBC News article on overthrowing the Council and his own objections for a new housing development in Devizes received a share from our MP Danny Kruger today, and his accompanying message didn’t take too kindly to it.

Up to two hundred new homes have been approved by a government inspector, despite fierce local opposition.

“Wiltshire needs (and is building) a lot of new homes – we don’t need ugly inappropriate imposed developments like this.” He explained. Reading between the lines here it’s all rather obvious that “ugly and inappropriate” are hidden synonyms for “affordable.”

The new estate by Robert Hitchins Ltd boasts 30% affordable housing, as well retail outlets and £500,000 towards funding works to the canal towpath to improve and provide accessibility for pedestrians and cyclists. This is three times the national minimum requirement of 10% affordable housing, a generous percentage for what is really necessary here, and is rarely provided above the bare minimum, forcing young residents out to other places.

No one, I believe, wants further development in Devizes but we should face facts, there is a desperate requirement for affordable housing.

Danny waffles on, “This application was approved despite objections by me, CPRE [a countryside charity], the Town Council and all. Why? Because of the arbitrary Five-Year Housing Land Supply rule. I have raised this issue with Government and will continue to push for planning reform with more local power when it comes to decision making.”

Which connotes a positive response on the surface, yet other developments locally have been allowed, offering only the minimum amount of affordable housing. Why, he asks, why, I ask, are they so against this development, yet willingly approved the other applications? Because it would be housing younger and/or less affluent folk in the area who are far less likely to vote Conservative, there’s your bottom line right there; hook, line, and sinker.

To spin a positive from this, it shows local Conservatives are gravely concerned for their long considered “safe seat,” and fear the inevitable change might yet impact election results even here. We are in a financial crisis, only a few can even contemplate a mortgage, so why build unaffordable housing when there’s no requirement for it, but object to the real need of struggling families, Danny boy, eh, you homophobic chauvinistic evangelist nutjob who doesn’t even live here?! I got my eye on you!

Your Place, or Mine? Devizes Town Council Squabbles Over Meeting Venue!

I’ve a mildly interesting word origin urban myth to bore you with before we begin on an opinion piece about the latest petty squabbling at Devizes Town Council, which, beggar belief, causes no consequence or botheration to proceedings of the town’s affairs, but stands to illustrate how pathetic and time wasting it’s all become; a council supposed to diplomatically decide necessary changes to better improve facilities in a town yet cannot even concur which hall to hold meetings in without toys being thrown from prams; so, back of the class, pay attention!

Word of the day is “text,” as in a body of words most commonly used in “text message.” Obviously, there’s a derivation from the term textiles, but how it came to be was pre-industrial revolution when weavers worked outside as the cloth was too large to manage in small houses. Being outside, they got to hear the word on the street, a bygone equivalent of taxi drivers and hairdressers! As public opinion mattered to early politicians they would gage and take notes from the weavers as they cast their opinion on current affairs, to take to parliament. The annotations, words from textiles, ergo, came to pass text would mean any body of words.

But it illustrates a point, as to read the recent lone ramblings of one rouge councillor’s renownedly biassed Facebook group, that Devizes Town Council aims to bar the public from attending meetings by switching back to a meeting room though historically used and deemed by a majority of councillors more suitable from another used only recently to insure social distancing during the pandemic, that really, upstanding politicians and councillors alike both want and need to gage public opinion, therefore, logically would encourage public interaction.

The Marketplace this weekend might be for street festival, but next Saturday, 27th May, is a bit of a letdown by comparison as the Devizes Town Council have their roadshow, unless they intend to break into a cover of Wonderwall, which is, fortunately, unlikely! But it is a regular occurence, the purpose of which is for the public to meet the councillors and pour out their concerns to them. In turn, it goes to prove the majority of councillors welcome public opinion. Which begs the question, why go to all that trouble, if this rant is genuine and to be believed, that the council doesn’t care for public interest?! It simply doesn’t make sense.

Two other town councillors have independently taken to other local Facebook groups to elucidate the reasons for the room switch, but being like many members of the public who dared to offer a differing opinion to the admin and town councillor of the page that the rant was posted on, the Devizes Issues, their pledge lies separate from the original post and they are unable to comment upon it. This leaves the admin, again, with the final say on the matter there, that other councillors are according to him, switching rooms in order to bar the public from attending meetings.

Longstanding councillor and former mayor Judy Rose was the one who proposed the move from the Town Hall Assembly Room back to the Council Chamber. “The reasons for wishing to return there have been suggested by a Conservative Cllr, Iain Wallis, is in order to keep the public out,” she explained, “I can state clearly that this proposal has nothing to do with keeping the public out, nor the spurious idea of ‘returning home’.”

She continued to outline the reasons for the move,”the acoustics of the Assembly Room are poor for the spoken word, even with mics. At our last Council meeting, an invited speaker used the mic, but still remained inaudible to many of us, and frequently, the same thing happens with councillor’s contributions. The arrangement of tables facing each other does not, at times, make for co-operative, civilised debate or behaviour.”

The public have always been able to attend meetings in the Council Chamber since the Town Hall was built. Prior to Covid, the meetings were moved to the Assembly Room when a larger contingent of the public was expected, a move which was relatively easy to anticipate from the contents of the agenda.

Judy expressed, “the public never have, nor will they ever be excluded from meetings, save under GDPR for certain exempt items concerning staff matters and commercial information about the properties owned by the Town Council. To suggest otherwise is completely mistaken, and to imply such a hidden agenda is not constructive and indeed very unhelpful in aiding the knowledge and understanding of how the Town Council operates.”

Guardian leader Jonathan Hunter also expressed his concerns, “this move is not about excluding any members of the public; it’s about promoting a more positive and cohesive environment. Councillors do not want to exclude members of the public and to suggest that this is the case is completely false.”

“Whilst the super-sized venues of the Corn Exchange and Assembly Room were appropriate for Covid protocols, the Assembly Room has become a venue that promotes distance between councillors and the public. Regular difficulties with communication and, at times, an adversarial and confrontational atmosphere all make the Assembly room a poor choice environment and a venue that isn’t fit for purpose. Councillors should be working together, and the environment should be positive, focused, and non confrontational.”

“Members of the public that were also present last night were asked for their views. Their conclusions were that the Assembly Room was confrontational.
In an attempt to sway opinion, it was unfortunate that one or two councillors stated that the public would be sat behind the backs of councillors within the council chamber in future meetings, even though the room layout hasn’t been set up for future meetings. Councillors do not want to have their backs towards members of the public.”

Devizes Guardians, along with the Labour councillor, the Independent councillor and the newly elected Mayor all voted in favour. Three Conservative councillors abstained. The proposal was approved with a majority vote. But with these facts obscured from the more popular Facebook group the readers are faced with a one-sided evaluation of the issue and will likely believe what’s said because no one has come forward to challenge it; ministry of truth type stuff.

The very fact this has happened, and is of no rare occasion, implies more generally, that these accusations made against opposing councillors are in fact, nothing more than the power tripping ramblings of a particular councillor who’s only intentions are to belittle their fellow councillors and create the illusion he is the superhero of hour here to bound in wearing his spandex and restore public access to council meetings; is it a bird? Is it a plane?!

Yet, being a majority of residents, and councillors have been banned from the group, and/or are silenced by comments deleted, alternatively implies otherwise.

Now, I stand accused myself of “bullying and harrassing” this councillor, by none other than him, on an occasion where he posted a request for people to advertise upcoming events consequently causing a number of people to mention that Devizine was a good place to find such information. I didn’t encourage them to do this, and have no access to the group yet sonehow this constituted “bullying.”

Every comment which stated this simple fact was deleted, and many were banned from the group. Suggesting there appears to be a personal vendetta against us, when really, as we cover discrepancies and problematic issues arising from local politics, it so unduly seems to be near every time such a happening occurs within Devizes Town Council it seems the same councillor is at the heart of the squabble. This doesn’t mean we have deliberately targeted anyone in particular, and we certainly haven’t bullied or harassed anyone.

I could go out on a whim and suppose, on this occasion the councillor in question is right, and all the other town councillors intend to bar the public from meetings, but unfortunately for him, there’s simply no logical explanation as to why they would want to do this, and furthermore, if it is the truth, has he never read The Boy Who Cried Wolf?!

Ask yourself this question, who would you believe, the individual town councillor who has lied, maliciously exaggerated and skewered facts, censored anyone opposing him then plays the victim, or a majority of councillors simply motivated by the notion of doing what’s best for our town?

Just remember all this come local council elections, boi, I did say pay attention; it’s petty, I know, but makes one wonder how they fair on bigger issues when they throw their toys out of pram over what room to hold a meeting in to solve said bigger issues! Mind you, if I was mayor the council would be Playboy bunnies and meetings would held in a hotub, so no one’s perfect!

Gazette & Herald to Buy Out Devizine

In a deal I’ve been trying to clench for a year now, Newsquest, owners of Wiltshire based newspapers, including the Gazette & Herald have taken the decision today to buy out Devizine and merge it with the Gazette…….

It is fantastic news for us, as Devizine readers will no longer have to put up with second-rate content, unprofessionally written by a kinky milkman, steering on honesty and commitment. Instead, our readers can expect slapdash clickbait articles with little or no reference to local matters, shameless advertorials, towing the Conservative line to the letter and endorsing illegal fox hunting activities.

In turn the Gazette will have a glossy pull-out section, a funky, freewheeling socialist magazine- fashioned spotlight on local arts and entertainment, highlighting the blossoming cascade of talent we are blessed with here; something they’ve not bothered to do since 1864.

It will rally the concepts of social and political change, be a crucial and pivotal hub for campaigning, fundraising, and highlighting charitable needs, offering free advertising for schools and charities, provided they cross our palms with silver, or at the very least buy us a nice Marks & Sparks Battenburg cake.

We can expect to see a regular environmental news column by Devizes & District MP Danny K Booger, who voted for dumping more raw sewage into our rivers, a sports section by Wiltshire PCC Phillip Willykissingson (blood sports that is,) a fun, games, and undernourishment section for kids by Chippenham MP Michelle Donenought, who voted against free school meals during lockdown, spot the pothole competitions from Wiltshire Council Cabinet Member for Transport, Dr Mark McBellend, and regular updates by Devizes Town Councillor Liam Wallyish (or whatever his name is) on all the crap we can’t read on local Facebook groups because we’ve been perversely banned for no good reason.

We will be celebrating this fantastic news by erecting a humongous and obtrusive signpost on the Crammer in Devizes, blatantly advertising our reprehensible merger, with no indignity. Now defunct from the Guardians, independently bias and in a tizzy town councillor, Chris Greenpants welcomed the obstructive billboard, despite not really favouring proposals for a small ‘ducks crossing’ warning sign. He said, “the last thing anyone wants to see is a squashed duck or swan on our roads, hopefully this sign will distract drivers enough to not notice, until such a time we can kick the carcase into a pothole and cover it over with either horse manure, or the bullshit that comes from our own mouths.”

A spokesman for the Gazette and Herald, Martha Fokker said, “this is officially the most unconvincing April Fool’s joke Devizine has pulled since that statue of MP Claire Perry crap. If only we could think of something to counter attack this pathetic attempt we would, but being we’re a sad sack of spuds, awaiting boiling, we can’t. Oh, by the way, we’re running on the scoop Strictly Come Dancing star Molly Rainford has just bought a house in Lancashire, now, that’s local news.”

Trending…..

The Tap at The Peppermill to Host Open Mic

Two local musicians have joined forces as Nightingale Sounds to host their first Open Mic Night at the new Tap at the Peppermill in Devizes….…

The Wiltshire Gothic; Deadlight Dance

With howling, coarse baritones Nick Fletcher, the main vocalist of Marlborough’s gothic duo, Deadlight Dance chants, “here comes the rain, and I love the rain,…

Crammer Working Party to ask Devizes Town Council to Endorse Dubious Approach to Future Management of the Crammer

Okay, I know, last thing I want is to be is a stuck record, always waffling about a pond in Devizes, but allow me thus, to express concerns in line with public opinion over the recommendation by the Crammer Working Party that the Committee endorses the approach being adopted by the Crammer Working Party in relation to the future management of the Crammer, which is due to be put forward in a Devizes Town Council Recreation & Properties Committee meeting on Tuesday 28th March…because it’s beyond wonky……

Content of the agenda prioritises evaluations of the performance of council-run venues, including a report on the Hillworth Park Café, running a net operating loss of £16,674. It sure is a nice café, and nice to have a café in the park, but if the preposterousness of the council isn’t highlighted by the notion there’s a shop nearby which is considerably cheaper and, generalising, the most common users of the park are youths and families, the least groups with disposable funds right now to accommodate a costly cuppa and slice of cake when the shop will provide a viable alternative, the notion The Crammer Working Party is dedicated to the task it was set surely is the icing on the cake.

“A recommendation that the Committee endorses the approach being adopted by the Cramer Working Party in relation to the future management of the Crammer,” then, is the header to the section I’m dubious about. The Crammer Working Party being the very two councillors who we’ve recently underscored for lying on social media about DEFRA testing the swans which died in December’s extreme cold spell, falsely confirming it was bird flu, staging a campaign to starve the birds by encouraging the public not to safely feed them and to argue with anyone defying their opinion by feeding, and censoring and banning anyone from their Facebook groups who dared to question it; yeah, those committed councillors!

The background explains a Planning Committee on 14th February where a loose association of concerned residents called Friends of the Crammer requested installation of specific wildlife warning signage, after several occasions where wildfowl had been killed by traffic. Which was promptly shot down by the Working Party members stating there was too much signage already and they considered more to be a distraction for drivers.

If the purpose of the report, is for the Committee to consider if it supports the working party’s approach to dealing with issues relating to the Crammer, let me explain to you exactly what they hypocritically came up with. Adamant specific warning signage would have a “limited impact on mitigating the issues surrounding wildlife and the adjoining highways, there is a sense that changing the way humans interact with wildlife may help, and one option may be to have a series of information boards surrounding the Crammer. These would give advice on the type of wildlife present, their behaviours as well as details on the history of the Crammer, including what its original use was.” (“The way humans interact with wildlife may help” ?? They’re not running them over on purpose, I hope, or is that what they’re suggesting?!)

But….but….but I thought you said there was too much signage already, and anymore would be a distraction, and now you’re suggesting a small sign warning drivers to beware of wildfowl, which is pretty much standard in similar areas nationwide will have a limited impact, but whopping gurt information billboards labelling the species like it’s a zoo is absolutely fine and dandy, and you expect a council to be blind to the hypocrisy here?!

What the council must decide is the purpose of the Crammer Working Party, which was in the eyes of the public to ensure the future conservation of the area and protection of the wildlife. Yet, in week where four ducks have been run over in separate incidents, The Crammer Working Party did not believe that the “installation of signage was the right solution to the problem,” and propose to babble on about the heritage of the Crammer, stating “there is also a significant heritage value associated with the Crammer, which should not be overlooked. To support this, various stakeholders have been sent a request to share their views on this aspect.”

In conclusion, then, if in true conservative philosophy the stakeholders and heritage of the site is more important to the Working Party than the feelings of the public that improvements to protect the wildlife needs attention, what really needs attention is the objectives of this Working Party. Members of the Friends of the Crammer are understandably outraged. One key member passionate about the wildlife there demands the Council gets rid of the Crammer Working Party, calling out the report as a “thinly disguised attempt to play at being in charge and asserting control, but has highlighted that the CWP have no clue as to what is urgently needed. In almost a year since forming, the CWP have at no point indicated that the problems facing the Crammer wildlife are recognised or understood. What has instead been illustrated is ignorance of fatalities and health issues, ignorance of wildfowl habitat usage, and an unwillingness to listen to and discuss issues with the public actively supporting the Crammer wildlife. Instead, the CWP appears intent on maintaining an illusion that the CWP are active in the interests of the wildlife and the Crammer engaged public, when any one of those actively supporting Crammer wildlife daily can refute any such idea. The proposal of information boards is monstrously indicative of the CWP’s ignorance and unwillingness to engage and consult, adding to the built environment will only materially add to the obstacles and clutter mute swans must negotiate when attempting to move between the water surface and the grazing/rest/runway areas. Less obstacles need to be the objective, not more.”

Other members are wary, pondering “if we go in all guns blazing, are we not in danger of the council becoming more intransigent?” Of which I understand, but am hopeful councillors will see the logic that if a simple warning signpost is considered “clutter” an information board would be more so, having no effective reason for supporting. But the consensus is after taking a year to produce, the report is a farcical non-event, which says absolutely nothing. The group even proposes the possibility of creating their our own report with proposals based on research, expert advice, local knowledge and general feedback.

So, yeah, I know, it’s just a duck pond, but a good and effective town council is being overshadowed by a few bad eggs, and this is symbolic of the charade. Maybe the Crammer Working Party could consider a tally chart on their information boards, so drivers can cross off the species of duck they’ve run over?!

Maybe rather than stare aimlessly at a stating-the-bloody-obvious sign saying, “this is a mallard, this is a swan, this is a moorhen,” future generations could look more favourably at us, being the ones who took steps to better protect the wildlife depicted on the board, rather than wonder why a board exists without any evidence of the wildlife referenced on it!

Add a Dodo onto their anticipated information board, for the very idea of this so-called Working Party should be as dead as one! The Meeting is Tuesday 28th March, at the Cheese Hall, immediately following Planning Committee, you can attend to see the local council in action, you can witness if your money will spent on an elaborate superfluous information board against the objections of the public who think a far more effective and inexpensive warning sign really isn’t that much to ask for.

Chatting with Vanessa Tanner; Guardian Candidate for Devizes East

While it may’ve been a week of social media turmoil at Devizes Town Council, the type usually reserved for national politics, a few hours prior to the uproar, I put the phone down after the kind of conversation which left me feeling more like I’d been catching up with an old friend, rather than interviewing a candidate for a local election……

I got the notion before chatting to hopeful Guardian Town Councillor, Vanessa Tanner she feared I’d come over all Jeremy Paxman! It’s not fair play for me to interrogate a person any more than it’s the opposition in this by-election’s morals to post exaggerated and prejudicial statements about them, though they did.

It’s impossible to publish concentrated material, such as an interview, to match the velocity of which social media accelerates, therefore I intend to produce this interview as it was said before this whoha, hoping it will shed some light on the Guardian candidate’s character and personality. Then, it is up to residents of East Devizes to decide if it’s the kind of refractory group who would slanderously magnify a trivial error in hope of sabotaging the opposition which they want on their seat at the town council, or an active member of the community, too busy cleaning the streets, engaging in support groups, and with the public, to fuss over some bitterness on bias Facebook pages.

The opposition party’s outrageous claim
Vanessa’s statement explaining the situation

Though the appropriateness of sole Councillor-controlled social media groups was a subject I coincidently wanted to verbally jab Vanessa with, it was something she didn’t dwell on, and our chat begun with the reason why we have this by-election in the first place.

Town clerk, Simon Fisher said of Jane Burton, “She was fiercely knowledgeable about all things Devizes. In the Council Chamber, Jane was a formidable force unafraid to take on anyone to get her point over; however, whilst she would not always agree with a viewpoint others would over, she would always be respectful of differing opinions. She had many skills and attributes we all admired, but she had a special ability to connect with residents, to listen and advise.”

So, I opened said passive interrogation(!) suggesting Vanessa had some “big boots to fill!” But she extended this like birds of a feather, “it was actually Jane who asked me to join the Guardians,” continuing with a recollection of a quiz night, “and before I knew it I was a Guardian!”

Vanessa has been a volunteer of Devizes Clean Up Squad for four years, and we spoke of the fantastic work they do. Though Vanessa is so active in the community, we moved swiftly onto her involvement with the “Love Devizes” group. “Yes,” she explained, “it started off with Love Devizes during Covid, and I was delivering meals during that time, for the people who couldn’t get out, and then it changed to Love Ukraine, which I became heavily involved in, because we had the first Ukraine guests here.”

Devizes CUDS

Meandering already, a heart-breaking tangent ensued about her guests. Vanessa revealed how they only stayed a couple of months; after Russian concentration lessened in her hometown of Kiev, they returned to help her family, and for concern to their children’s wellbeing. To encourage our conversation back to her as a candidate, as I felt her passion on the subject would’ve led her to talk on this subject forever, I offered all this was evidence enough that she is a people-person. But does Vanessa hope to get the time to carry-on groups like the CUDs if she was to become a councillor?

With a tone of upmost sincerity she replied, “I hope so,” expressing her job had come to an end and venturing she should have enough time. Being she had stated she only had half-hour to chat, and I’d already diverted it to Ukraine, she replied, “I’m quite good at time management!” Best rush through my questions, because I’m hopeless at it!

I wondered if there was any other charities or support groups Vanessa was actively engaged in, and that was precisely why we only had a half-hour window; she was off to work at the Dorothy House shop. “And Sustainable Devizes is a big thing for me,” Vanessa continued. Though a hot topic with the public, The Crammar isn’t part of East Devizes, her association with the environmental group is enough to convince me of her penchant for wildlife and environmental issues. The Guardians in general have been engaged with talking to the Friends of the Crammar campaign group, and so we switched to the lack of electric-car charging points in Devizes. Again, though Vanessa relayed the question to a personal anecdote; her son came to stay, who has an electric car, but there is nowhere in town which an accessible charging point. “So, I raised it with Wiltshire Council, and asked on Devizes Issues, where are these car charging points, and…. There aren’t any!”

Vanessa wrote to the supermarkets to ask them when they were likely to put them in, “and I worked out that Devizes is the biggest town in Wiltshire without any electric car charging points.” I sighed, as she sustained, “I think they’re coming, there was a debate in the council a couple of weeks ago, about when they should be putting them in.”

New builds, I turned the subject onto. Vanessa agreeing encouraging contractors to up the percentage of affordable housing on new builds was vital to maintaining an age demographic in town, otherwise younger residents are priced out of the market. Neatly bringing us around to the other hot topic, youth crime. I asked Vanessa if she agreed we needed to improve funding for youth groups and associations. “I think with any bad behaviour there’s always a reason which we have to get to the bottom of,” she replied, “what is motivating some to smash a window rather than play football, and if you can get to the bottom of the issue, it’s a lot easier to get these people engaged in society again, because at the moment they’re marginalised but everybody misbehaves for a reason.”

I reasoned it’s for the prestige, so to reduce several youths away from following the perpetrators, they’ve less of an audience reaction, lessening the thrill. “That’s never a bad thing,” Vanessa replied, “to have more facilities. If we can get those reopened, it would be great.”

I admit, I hoped Vanessa would bring the subject of subsidising youth initiatives and groups up of her own accord, but in agreeing with me they should was, to be honest, a good enough baseplate. Plus, she did continue to say, “I think by what Jonathan (Hunter-leader of the Guardians) was telling me, we’re already quite a way down the road to getting a youth engagement officer, so, that will get the ball rolling.”

The importance of selecting the right person for such a job was her resultant, “and that’s something a trained youth engagement officer will know how to do; we’re on the road to getting one of those, and hopefully we can get to the bottom of it. Nobody wants to get their window broken, or be frightened to go out at night, and you don’t want that in a town. As soon as this is dealt with the better, but I think I’m more of a carrot than a stick person!”

more of a carrot than a stick person!

Unaware of this idiom, I laughed, proposing it could be our headline: Vanessa; Carrot or Stick?! “Nobody likes to be told what to do,” she explained, as I did bring my grievance about Wiltshire Council holding an open-event on the youth crime subject whereby youths themselves were unable to attend. “They like be involved with decision making. Discussion, compassion, and kindness is the way forward,” Vanessa stated. In this, we must ask ourselves, exactly what is a town councillor, and what do we want from them?

Do we need them to be academics of law and national politics, seemingly expert enough to spot a minuscule flaw in the opposition’s election leaflet and expand it to a full-blown attack only for the purpose of upstaging them in a race to the position, or do we need someone so obviously concerned for our amenities, our environment and public wellbeing, motivated and active towards changing it? For the subjects we covered which do appear on Vanessa’s promises, she was clearer and more adamant on; the green issues of car-charging, and cycle paths, and creating shared spaces, and keeping Devizes independently run.

Indeed, my question was one of statements inviting discussion, that national political parties should be kept out of local council, the very ethos of the Guardians. “Yes,” she explained, “so everyone in the Guardians have their own political views but they’re not bought to the table, because we are all about the town. We’re about what happens here, not about what the national parties have dictated to us.”

Ironically, other parties entering this election pledge a similar promise, though assigned to a national party for funding, they unyielding suggest they too are independently based, though I must ask, surely if someone is funding your campaign, they’ll demand you sway in their favour, at least tow the party line, and carry out the position with the shared philosophy. “I can’t answer for them!” Vanessa laughed it off, “I just know the Guardians are independent, and we will do what’s best for our town.”

And herein lies my concluding section, on councillor’s use of social media, of which you should note happened before the brash and vastly embellished statements of their breaking of election law, by the opposition’s Conservative campaigner Iain Wallis, on his self-run Facebook group. I put to Vanessa, “social media is another sour point with the public now, because while it’s an advantage for councillors to gage public opinion, and visa-versa, some feel those councillors active on social media aren’t really listening to them, rather brashly using it to blow their trumpets, and those who disagree are censored. Do you feel what we need is more attention to a create a united council social media output, so the majority, voice of a united council is the definite article?”

“Wouldn’t that be lovely?!” Vanessa responded with, “in an ideal world! You’ve got twenty-odd different characters, haven’t you? I think they came together for Covid, Ukraine, the bigger things, but they’re different adults from different backgrounds who are bound to disagree.”

But that’s what a council is, isn’t it; to discuss these things, nail out a definite agreeance, and then go onto social media, unitedly announcing the decision? “Social media is a tool, but also a dangerous place to air your grievances. We have got a social media policy, created by Wiltshire Council, and in the main work occasionally there’s a little bit of spat, but it settles down again. But that’s not the place to air your dirty laundry, in my opinion. I use social media to inform people of what’s going on, not to have an argument.” How sad that not hours after Vanessa told me this, she was victim to this precise kind of attack by the opposition, only to better their chances of winning the by-election on 30th March? It says more about them than her.

Vanessa would like to conclude, she is “a real-person, just because I do a lot of community work doesn’t mean I don’t find time to get out and enjoy the pubs and restaurants of Devizes.” She giggled throughout this bit, “I try to frequent all of them, but not all at once! There are twenty-two drinking establishments, you’d be a mess at the end of it, wouldn’t you?” I didn’t like to suggest, I’d given it my best shot, so our chat regressed back to local environmental issues, for it’s something Vanessa is obviously passionate about, but in this is precisely her character and charm, and it’s infectious, exactly what I believe we need in a town councillor.

Trending….

Wiltshire Council has “A complete disregard for the residents of Devizes,” says Guardian Jonathan Hunter

You’ve got to award Gazette & Herald reporter Jason Hughes the journalism medal of bravery this week, for his dissemination on head of the Devizes Guardians, Jonathan Hunter’s mien concerning the tardiness of communication by Wiltshire Council over the current state of our roads!

The headline read “Devizes potholes cause misery for motorists, councillor claims.” Claims? Wha?! Does this guy get to go outside at playtime?! Has he seen the state of it out there? It’s like a lunar landscape after a flipping meteor shower! When Jules Verne wrote Journey to the Centre of the Earth, fittingly about volcanic tubes that reach the centre of the earth, he was inspired by Wiltshire’s roads; fact!

Honestly, honesty is a must here, let’s not get impassive on this breaking scoop; we all know the truth, we’ve known for some time, and hats off to town councillor Jonathan Hunter for digging the claws in.

“A road repairs promise was made two years ago,” he explained, “last week I wrote to Cllr Caroline Thomas on behalf of the residents of Devizes who face the reality of an appalling local road network. Cllr Thomas, has given a statement through the press but after a week I’m still waiting for a reply to my email, which apart from being unprofessional and rude, it signals that the cabinet members approach is not community first and shows a complete disregard for the residents of Devizes.”

I responded, “probably because she owns a Chelsea tractor,” with a little emoji of a tractor in hope to cheer him up! What can I say? I was under pressure and it was the best I could come up with at the time. But what can we do about it? Here’s Jonathan’s top four tips, which makes a terrible headline, because people love “top ten tips,” five, perhaps, Jonathan, but not four, no. Still, they’re good ones.

1. Continue to bombard WC using MyWilts the app, to report potholes. Whilst this system is very reactive it’s the best that they can offer.

2. Write to Cllr Thomas and share your concerns, I can’t guarantee that she will read or even reply but the more residents that express their concerns may make a difference. caroline.thomas@wiltshire.gov.uk

3. Please identify hazardous areas to your friends, neighbours or colleagues who are vulnerable. In particular, those with mobility difficulties.

4. At the 2025 Wiltshire Council unitary election remember the promises that were made in 2021 and the reality of how those promises have been implemented across your local road network.

“There are three areas of key concern in Devizes,” Jonathan told the Gazette, “London Road is the main road coming in and out and that isn’t great at all. Bath Road and also Windsor Drive, which is an interconnecting road, the surface degradation on those roads is really poor.” And continued to express his concern for damaged pavements reducing the accessibility and safety for vulnerable pedestrians.

After such, the article does give this press reply by Cllr Thomas, which goes thus: “The hot, dry summer of last year, and the very wet and very cold weather so far this winter has unfortunately created the perfect conditions for potholes to form across the 2,500-mile road network. We’re doing all we can to repair them, using all our skilled workforce and resources, with the priority being to make the road safe.”

Now, I did rant on this subject at the beginning of February, quoting Cabinet Member for Transport, Dr Mark McClelland’s axiomatic piffle direct from the council’s website, so let’s have a little game of spot the difference here: “The weather has provided the perfect conditions for potholes to form, and that’s why we’re seeing an increase in the number of road defects throughout the county.”

Uncanny, huh?! At least they’re singing off the same song sheet I suppose. Probably written on the wall at county hall, “just reword this weather-blaming twaddle if the press asks!”

Well, please accept my apologises, but I’m not the press, just the milky, the milky inspired by Stephen Mulhern of Catchphrase to “say what I see,” and with a tendency to do precisely that; it’s an abomination which so obviously could have been avoided with ongoing proactive maintenance, even Mr Chips can see it, and he’s a fictional yellow bollard with a clown’s nose, naked other than a cravat.

“The roads are very dangerous for all users,” Jonathan expressed his concern, “pothole repairs should just be an emergency fix to prevent a serious accident, they are not a permanent solution as the substance shrinks within the original road defect. Unfortunately, it would seem WC have adopted pothole repairs as their main strategy to improve crumbling roads with surface degradation. The lack of engagement is a poor show and speaks volumes.”

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How Ingrained is Hunting on our Society Given Police are Members of Criminal Gangs?

Of course, today’s opinion rant comes from news Wiltshire Police have promoted officer Cheryl Knight to the rural crimes department despite allegedly being a member of the Beaufort Hunt and has previously ridden with the notorious Avon Vale Hunt. The public outrage of such has spawned a planned protest on 5th March at Devizes Police HQ….

It should hardly come as a shock to those who follow social media of anti-hunt groups like Wiltshire Hunt Saboteurs, as we’ve seen many attempts by hunters to infiltrate the police, and video evidence of police deliberately being awkward with sabs by blocking paths and siding with hunters. Recently we’ve seen it with another hunt member PC, Laura Hughes who turned a blind eye when hunters attacked protesters at Lacock’s Boxing Day meet. And at top level, with former Avon Vale huntsmaster Jonathan Seed defunct from the PCC election and current PCC Phillip Wilkinson’s open derogatory remarks about anti-hunt protesters.

But if bent cops sounds like something from an American thriller movie, no one’s as bold to suggest all Wiltshire Police support hunting. It’s a huge organisation employing many, therefore fair to assume the bad eggs are a minority.

However, their official reaction to the outrage this news has caused, defending Cheryl Knight and warning protesters they will be “seeking independent guidance from other agencies to ensure the protest is in line with those peaceful and lawful requirements and to ensure the Devizes community is not adversely impacted,” borders retaliation to public outcry. Reading between the lines, anyone so much as sneezes at the protest and they’ll shut it down. Wiltshire Hunt Saboteurs stressed to me, “that’s how we read it too. Well, if they want even more bad publicity…”

It causes me to ponder just how far this rabbit hole goes; how ingrained by the traditions of hunting is this in our society? You may not stop to consider it while watching a children’s cartoon with anthropomorphised characters whereby the fox is nearly always portrayed as a “baddie,” or dining in a local pub, where your dinner is served on a pictorial plate adorned with a scenic landscape and a fox hunt in progress, or similarly on a painting on the wall, but in this glorification of the blood sport, these connotations of the fox spelling trouble, is it our own psychological Colston statue?

“You cannot erase history,” gammonites remark of the statue debate, and I retort with “poppycock!” For historical references in literature will always be, but a statue glorifies and celebrates the slave trade, ergo, is counterproductive to progress against racial discrimination. Likewise, the paintings in the pub, the common pub name, The Fox and Hounds, should they be changed? They clearly idealise this barbaric pastime.

My ponderings stem from a Facebook thread this week, by Devizes Town Councillor Chris Greenwood, (yes, the one who blatantly lied about Defra confirming bird flu on the Crammer) on his own general local affairs group, Devizes News. In posting news of Cheryl Knight’s promotion, he stated, “this group will not tolerate any form of detrimental, nor hateful comments associated with this article. The officer concerned has done nothing illegal whatsoever, and their appointment has been with the full approval of Wiltshire Police. Any false accusations or comments will result in the person posting being excluded from the group.”

It was simply too tempting, and inadvertently my reply, “so, why post it then?” saw me promptly barred from the group, along with a handful of others. But seems the temptation was deliberate for no sooner as we were gone, he posted again, boasting, and celebrating, “it was time for a clearout of activists, bigots and those motivated by negativity.”

Quite where the negativity in opposing the promotion of a possible criminal within the governing body supposed to prevent crime is supposed to derive from will forever confound me. Alas, adjoining various comments like a jigsaw, Chris made in this thread might shed some light on why he, like so many others, are so pro-hunting. Unable to respond to one question given by a concerned so -called bigot, Chris took a trip on memory bliss, and waffled a random interminable history of his affection for horse riding. One might assume this was irrelevant, but further on when we were discussing the social media posts of lists of local companies alleged to be in support of the Avon Vale Hunt, he highlighted a sponsorship of a pony club. So, herein lies his justification for supporting hunting; Avon Vale sponsored the club where his fond memories of riding begun. Ergo, he’s reminiscence through rose-tinted specs is clouding his judgment to the reality it’s a bloodthirsty pursuit, and I’d wager is not alone in this view.

I could agree, horse riding is okay by me, but you don’t need to take a pack of bloodhounds along to bludgeon a fox to death to enjoy it, surely? Though I fear it will fall on deaf ears. Hunts have spent decades and countless fortunes I could only dream of, to ensure their brutal activities are ingrained so deep into our society, economy and way of life, the rose-tinted specs wearers will only ever view it as a harmless tradition, because they’re trained to by showers of gold sent their way and into charities and causes.

Ergo, when a clear conflict of interests invades our police, these folk shrug, and state the officer concerned has done nothing illegal. So, given innocent until proven guilty, we should ask Wiltshire Hunt Saboteurs if they’ve any proof of the contrary. “Her main association seems to be the Beaufort,” Wiltshire Hunt Saboteurs explained, “that is where most of her hunting images were taken. She also has photos of her at Avon Vale meet, and also photos of her attending beagle meets (hare hunts).”

Besides, the point isn’t whether she has, or hasn’t, the concern lies within her power to sway, ignore, or pervert the cause of justice in such matters she’s so clearly bias in. Does this mean the protest is focused entirely on her promotion, being it would seem there’s other pro-hunting officers?

“At this moment it’s focused on the fact that a fox hunter has been appointed,” they continued, “but I guess the wider issue is who appointed her – and the appalling response they gave. There are other serving officers that have hunted with the Avon vale, which we also oppose, but to be placed into a role like this, particularly in the middle of an investigation by her new team, into the Avon Vale video just is crass beyond belief. It’s a direct breach of the Code of Ethics which Wiltshire Police are refusing to address.”

We live now in the aftermath of the national media exposure of video evidence proving The Avon Vale Hunt illegally fox hunted, its impact is this undeniable proof you’d have thought would be a catalyst to change, but this latest outcry suggests otherwise.

All my meanderings seem to return to a same point, the point in the video where they successfully pulled the fox out from the dig and threw it to the hounds, and one young hunter shrieks with delight like a little girl getting a pony for Christmas! If hunting was to cull a pest, that’s clearly in past, there’s few foxes left in the countryside, and the shrill of delight reverbs the acknowledgement, is symbolic that this is done purely for fun, the thrill. You don’t see an insect exterminator cry with joy when he clears your home of ants!

So, if you support this in any way, do you deserve to be called out for it regardless of how little your association with the hunts may’ve been formed upon, excusable by ignorance to the notion they were definitely killing wildlife, until now?

Yet while many companies and organisations have found themselves having to publish statements attempting to defuse their association with Avon Vale, or hunting in general, Wiltshire Police seem none too fussed, rather promoting officer Cheryl Knight to the rural crime unit, and have defended their decision to maintain the PC in the role. Others listed, such as ice cream cafe, The Rowdey Cow were quick to announce their association was only to vendor at one of their events, and it’s not just because they make exceptional ice cream, I’m willing to forgive that(!) rather sigh, that’s just business.

The Rowdy Cow I trust has sufficient trade to do without the association now, and hope they do. The last thing anyone wishes by way of boycotting businesses loosely associated with the hunts, is to bring any more damage on our rural economy. Yet Wadworth’s only line of defence seemed to be their association was “historic.” Should we forgive that too, because of the passage of time? Our councillor Greenwood on his pro-hunting rant seemed to suggest this, that the images of Knight hunting was the stuff of ancient history, leading me to ponder how old is she? From recent photos she looks late twenties, so it could only have been after 2004, when the Hunting Act was introduced, not so long ago for us old-timers, Chris!

Forgiveness only ever seems to be when the boot fits. The public don’t seem too keen to forgive Shamima Begum anytime soon, but views Piers Morgan as this cheeky chappie with a penchant for a few offensive comments, rather than the bastard who wrecked a teenage girl’s murder inquiry by hacking her phone. He took personal monetary gain over the life of a child, for Heaven’s sake, but hey, he’s on the tele. I like to call this the “Jimmy Saville Effect,” he raised these incredible amounts of money for charity, so should he be forgiven for paedophilia, necrophilia, and whatever other sick fetishes he performed? Equally, should we forgive hunters if their hunting is all in the past?

I believe this is simply another desperate excuse from pro-hunting lobbies. It matters not if or when Knight hunted, only that she is in support of hunting. To suggest her affiliation with the hunt wouldn’t affect her ability to carry out the role of a rural crime officer is completely and utterly ludicrous. The public know this, it’s hardly rocket science, and the public have the right to voice their outrage at this poor decision. After all, we do pay for the police, they are governed by law, but paid for by the taxpayer. Wiltshire Police make many a statement about building a rapport with the public and how they “serve them,” surely this is the ideal opportunity to prove this ethos right?

But it’s a small piece of a larger puzzle. Akin to the suffragette movement, anti-hunting will look blindly obvious to future generations if we can wash away this ingrained perception. The police’s involvement in watching over so-called trail hunts will be viewed as the massive waste of resources they clearly are, for if hunt organisations cannot be trusted the only solution is to ban them, and eradicate this insane affiliation to blood sports once and for all.

So, to people who share Chris Greenwood’s obsolete and atrocious opinions and see fit to censor opposing views, I say you’re foolish to think you can silence me. Not one to boast stats, but Devizine is read by the number of members in your petty group times a thousand. In a media war you’re the Gassworks Gang and I’m the American military! Accept the majority are anti-hunt, and will share this beyond way Facebook, until its long out of my control, folk will rightfully gather to sound their disgust at this barbaric activity, and the authorities which permit it to continue despite the indisputable evidence.

Their days are numbered, if we throw off our ingrained bigotry and accept it, that is quite possible. It wouldn’t hurt to show your humane side. And in saying that, no one wishes to send Cheryl Knight to the stocks, only to advise she is moved to a department free from her bias. So patently obvious it’s staring everyone in face and making them angry enough to have to spell it out by reacting on offensive social media posts, with disregards to the idea they’ll be futility chastised by a power-tripping would-be tinpot dictator! Knockers I say unto thee, Devizes News indeed, the bastard son of GB News?! Lest we forget come local election time.

Stay Out of Trouble! Wiltshire Council’s Drop-In Event Targets Young Criminals Only

Ka-pow, ker-runch, ker-splat! Fear not good citizens of Devizes, waftastic Wiltshirecouncilman is here to save us from the evil delinquent Dylan and the Acne Street Gang! The devastating plan is to hold a “drop-in event to update on work to reduce youth anti-social behaviour in the town,” at the Corn Exchange from 9:30am to noon on Thursday 2nd March; that’ll give them a ruddy good telling off for sure!

Does anyone else see an immediate flaw in the plan? By very definition it’s counterproductive. Wiltshire Council send out a powerful message to our youth; their crimes are unacceptable, but we’re all fine with crimes committed by older people. Why not drop the “youth” tagline all together, and see any crime committed by any age with the same degree of urgency? Just, y’ know, a fleeting notion of fairness.

Way to go to marginalise society and section off a particular group according to age, that’s sure not to stoke the fire. And when can we expect a similar event to tackle crimes committed by adults, pray tell?!

We have a current issue in Devizes with some wayward youths, no one can deny it, it’s no secret, but from a minority. That’s the crucial point, all pigeonholing them is going to do is encourage a barrier between age groups and welcome more teenagers into the rut; you’re only going to make matters worse, you blind and foolish old fuddy-duddies!

We cannot expect to obtain upstanding young citizens by tarnishing them all with the same brush. Still social media is awash with pitchfork welding folk, condoning medieval punishments, and admin of these groups fail to deal outrageous comments promoting vigilante violence; look at yourself, publishing your futile online vengeance on youths, and still then ponder why they rebel so. Ever heard of a thing called an endless circle?

Places of real-life social interaction are no better, full of elders firing daggers from their eyes at any younger person who happens to pass by. I’ve spoken to young people about their fear of going into cafes for the dirty looks they’ll receive, despite doing no wrong and not having any intentions of. What else is there here for them to do, where do you expect them to go?

Cllr Peter Hutton, Portfolio Holder for Safeguarding at Wiltshire Council said of the event, “this will be an informal and interactive morning where you can talk to the people who are working with Devizes residents in all sorts of ways with a common goal of making the town a safer place to live.” But what about the people who this really effects most? We must readdress the balance here, focus too on the victims, not just the criminals. Children and young people are disproportionately more likely to be victims of crime, particularly the most serious crimes, by any age group including their own. And where are the group most affected by this issue between the set hours of 9:30-noon? At school or college most likely.

The very fact they’ve been excluded from this event sends a shiver up my spine. It’s as if to say they’ve no valid point to bring to the table, or any they might have, are worthless, amidst this wealth of grownup’s experience. Why not make the time later, so it’s convenient to all to cast their views? Why not bring this “roadshow” to schools and colleges?

As we age it’s all too easy to forget how it feels to be younger, but not giving young people the benefit of the doubt is detrimental to them reacting angrily against the system. I may’ve been criminalised in my youth, but day-to-day I forget those occurrences, wish I was that age again, only because I view it through rose-tinted specs. It was never as easy as memory serves me. I rebelled, and much of the anguish came from my elders; the powers that be, parents, et al. They never understood, I felt trapped, a child in an adult world, and reacted with rebellious anger. Why? Because it was a thrill to, it exposed a crack in the boredom, an escape.

Yet top-heavy Conservative thinking Wiltshire Council and Police are backing a government which has acted far worse than these few wayward kids. They’ve lied their way through government, they’ve profited and partied while ordinary folk watched their loved ones die. They continue to drain every penny out of public services, to reduce the education budget to the point the teachers must strike, they’re determined to increase the poverty divide to line their own pockets, and we ignore it in order to focus on some naughty children. They are hardly setting the shining example of moral upstanding citizens. As Michael Jackson said, “if they wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change.”

Or perhaps a more poignant musical quote could come from Woody Guthrie, “some will rob you with a six-gun, some with a fountain pen.” Purchase a security light for your home if you favour being robbed by the energy companies rather than some hoodlums in your shed at night.

Here’s a better plan, councillors, et al who follow the blue rosette, resign from your Conservative Party, and stand independently. Show them you don’t side with criminals before invoking your hypocrisy on the youth. For our young are no fools, and I, for one, salute them for taking a stance, I applaud their patience and endurance with the disgusting way they’re being treated.

Some will resort to crime, it’s a terrible thing, I wish it didn’t have to be this way, and I certainly would never condone it. But they’re not alone as a generation; history proves time-over during eras of abject poverty crime will increase. It’s not a problem with “youth of today” rather a problem with a minority of youth, historically. Rubbing their faces in it, plotting behind their backs isn’t going to help.

Wiltshire’s Police and Crime Commissioner, Philip Wilkinson, an advocate of conservatism, says of the event, “this is a great opportunity for members of the public to hear first-hand the importance of the work that is being done as a result of the Home Office funding to tackle youth anti-social behaviour in the Devizes area and focus on ways to help prevent it.” But what’s his views on rural crime in general, to have called hunt saboteurs only gathering evidence of crimes committed by those who should be considered mature enough to know better, “balaclava wearing thugs,” when we’ve all seen the recent concrete evidence as to who the real thugs are?

https://www.wiltshire999s.co.uk/uproar-police-banned-hunt-member-rural-officer

The only smidgen of positive came from inspector Ben Huggins, Devizes sector Policing Inspector, who said, “we recognise that there are some anti-social behaviour issues in Devizes at the moment. We are and have been tackling them. My officers will always respond swiftly and robustly to reports of this nature; however, we know more needs to be done and this is not a problem that can be solved by us the police alone. So, this initiative is very much welcomed – involving not only the agencies we already work with but the wider community.  Hopefully, we can all resolve this problem by working together.”

It goes without saying, we offer our eternal thanks to the bobby on the beat. I certainly don’t envy their job at times like these, and in having to deal with the issues which arise from this, but there’s radical thinking we need to put on the table in order to tackle it, not the seemingly militant stance of conservatism. Communication with the youth is key, obviously, for crying out loud, including them in events like this, allowing them a voice.

Give a little to take a little, isn’t it? Treat them with respect and that respect will come back to you; see if it doesn’t, but apply something out of Robocop it will never be solved and we just go round in circles. I welcome the idea of this gig, but if they wished to build bridges, making it time appropriate for those most affected to attend would be logic, really, one would’ve thought, or are we just a community of hypocritical pitchfork welding rednecks?

Actually, don’t answer that one!

Avon Vale Hunt Suspended from the British Hounds Sports Association

If Bob Marley used a Jamaican proverb for a line in I Shot the Sheriff , “Every day the bucket a-go a well, One day the bottom a-go drop out,”  it really has for the notorious Avon Vale Hunt, who’ve been suspended from the British Hounds Sports Association, following some sickening video footage…...

I guess congratulations goes to Wiltshire Hunt Saboteurs, for want of a better word. The breaking news certainly produced an awkward chuckle from me. Their hard work has paid off with this indisputable evidence of the hunt, digging out two foxes and throwing one to the hounds, while the second attempts an escape. The most distressing and horrifying part of the film is to hear them shrieking with delight when realising there was a second fox.

A criminal investigation had begun, we hope the sentence fits the crime. I’ve tried to be as subtle as possible on this issue, always willing to give anyone the benefit of the doubt. Previous filming from the sabs has often been obscured and difficult to define precisely what’s happening, but this is undeniable, trail hunting is an outright lie.

This definitive proof shifts the way I’ll handle my wording on such reports, for it’s conclusive, that hunters are nothing but bloodthirsty criminal scum, and I, for one, believe the time has come to ban these so-called trail hunts once and for all.

Wiltshire Hunt Sabs told The Hunt Saboteurs Association, “We routinely sab this particularly vile and vicious hunt, so we aren’t surprised to see them shrieking in delight as the whip chucks the first fox to the hounds as a second fox tries to flee. It’s almost a year to the day since they seriously assaulted a hunt sab after sabs stopped a similar dig out of a fox from an active badger sett near Erlestoke.

We hope Wiltshire Police do their jobs properly this time. For too long this hunt has gotten away with murder, largely because of the protection of Wiltshire Police who have had serving officers riding with this hunt. The Avon Vale are now truly exposed for the bloodthirsty criminals they are.”

So, we find ourselves at the conjunction where I will not refrain to mince my words any longer; anyone condoning the actions of the Avon Vale Hunt, from allowing meets on their establishment to political figures supporting the hunt or claiming they’re doing nothing illegal, will be called out and treated as an accessory to a crime.

A Wiltshire police spokesperson said, “We have received a report of alleged wildlife offences and will be reviewing the evidence that has been presented.” Begging the question how it can “alleged” if the offence is clearly caught on camera?

For a fuller story and to watch the film, please refer HERE, but warning, the video can be distressing. And please, if you can, donate to the Wiltshire Hunt Saboteurs so they can continue their hard and often dangerous work.

The Great Pothole Debacle; Are Wiltshire Councillors Teleported into County Hall?!

As a younger chap, for it once was so, I’d procrastinate with the washing-up, putting it off until the point I’d run out of cutlery or crockery. By this time the daunting task of tackling the mountain was too much to bear. Not forgoing, I’d be suspicious organic matter in the sink could’ve evolved into a dispassionate and sadistic varmint which would, acting in defence of its dwelling, ambush my digits, and marigolds would make unless armour.

In maturity I’ve learned engaging proactive to chores will prevent such issues from building to an uncontrollable catastrophe, but remain convinced, by driving on any road in the county, Wiltshire Council hasn’t yet reached such maturity. Their dithering, wilful ignorance of Section 41 of the Highways Act 1980, has spawned an infestation of intractable and accrescent critters: potholes, and they breed like rabbits.

Agreed, like a birdwatcher finding a rare Capercaillie, I’ve seen council workers patching up the deadliest potholes of recent, here and there, but take The Kings Road, Easterton, for example, which for a while now I’ve renamed the Kamikazes Road, for my own personal white-knuckled amusement. Here, over the past week, they’ve shoved some hardcore in the odd pothole which has occupied the road for an insurmountable eon, ticked it off as a job well done, and returned to base for tea and custard creams. The equivalent of which in my washing-up metaphor would be to rinse a teaspoon I found rotting behind the fridge under the cold tap.

Of course, Cabinet Member for Transport, Dr Mark McClelland has waffled this axiomatic piffle on the council’s website, “The weather has provided the perfect conditions for potholes to form, and that’s why we’re seeing an increase in the number of road defects throughout the county.”

Akin to a football manger telling the presenter, “It’s a game of two halves,” tell us something we don’t know, like perhaps coupled with Dr McClelland’s valid point is also the unmentioned minor technicality they failed dismally to repair potholes for the last two previous years, minimum. Yeah, the increase of road defects is caused by bad weather, I’ll give him, but bad management too. Like my washing-up, if you don’t address the issue promptly, we see potholes on potholes on potholes, on, well, you get the picture; it’s of a lunar landscape, and you’re cycling one of those old Boneshaker bicycles over it.

Potholes are so rife in Wiltshire; people have started using them to give directions. “Oh-argh, go down road for six potholes, past the pensioners playing street golf, you’ll see a really massive pothole, not the one where Kate Winslet is grasping driftwood crying over drowning Leonardo DiCaprio, but a much deeper one, turn right there and it’s just past the third pothole on the left!”

Okay, you roll your thunder; cease the satirical ranting and tell us what we can do about it, I hear your cry. Here’s the longwinded Wiltshire Councillor Dr McBellend again, with the official advice: “Wiltshire Council has an online reporting system called MyWilts that people can use to report problems on the council’s roads and footways. This can be either accessed by computer or an app downloaded from the relevant app store. Reports received from MyWilts are processed accordingly and customers updated through the Council’s reporting and management systems.”

Like everything these days, from parking your car to ordering at Nandos, you must go to a website, download an app, create an account, and customise yourself to the inner-workings of the profiteering geek mate of the council who invented it.

According to the Wiltshire Highways Safety Inspection Manual, depending on priority and road size, it can take anything up to 60 days for them to address the issue, which, based on past experience, seems to be to send a team out to inspect, possibly spray paint a colourful circle around it, or in severe cases stick a traffic cone in it, return to base to file the report and grab some tea and custard creams. By which time umpteen drivers have lost a wheel in the pothole you’re attempting to inform them about.

Technophobes are shit out. I like to think I’m savvy, but it took me little under an hour to make head nor tail of the app, and report a SINGLE road defect, when the county is awash with them, on every single road, multitudes of them, potholes on potholes, remember? How much spare time do they think we have?

One has to wonder how Councillors get to county hall. Are they blindfolded? Are they teleported in like Captain Kirk? How come they cannot see what we see? Oh yeah, the gas-guzzling Chelsea tractor brigade, I forgot; why don’t we all just save up and buy ourselves a 4×4, goes the pig-ignorant Conservative thinktank. Because we’re scrapping the barrel to put food on the table due to their general incompetence of a thousand other issues I could rant a tangent on, that’s why, and we really don’t need the added expense of avoidable car repairs.

Oh, but, oh, what’s that you say? You can reclaim expenses from Wiltshire Council if your vehicle is damaged due to potholes? Yes, I hear that, and after months of paperwork there’s been some success stories; ninety days is the legal maximum allowed, they will take advantage of that while your kids go hungry.

Provided you take a multitude of photos and videos of the damage, the questionable pothole with a tape measure or sonic deep-sea echo sounder, and its surroundings, provide indisputable evidence it was said pothole, add some interesting history about any neighbouring landmarks, and possibly bribe them with proper posh Waitrose biscuits rather than working class custard creams, you can retrieve some but rarely all your costs, should you suffer an incident there and then. But what of the gradual wear and tear of our cars on our daily journeys across this scabrous terrain of endless bottomless chasms? These surely are both insurmountable and incalculable, and what’s more, impossible to prove. I quizzed a local mechanic.

Coils, springs and other such technical bits and bobs are forever being replaced at his garage, he informed me, and was undoubtedly convinced it was due to the constant driving through potholes. He extended it to suggest driving in France wouldn’t cause these problems; whoa, controversial!

Now, I’m sorry for my rude alteration of the councillor’s name, if you noted it, and if I could take it back I would, but I’ve said it now and it’s out there; just a typo really. I’m aware Tories can be touchy when pointing out their incompetence and hypocrisy, and often act like a told-off toddler, but name-calling is simply not cricket. I’m aware it’s a tricky issue and perpetual, but you did sign up for the job, so, no temper tantrums, let’s be logical here; the app is a get out clause for the council, if it’s not reported there it’s as mythical as unicorns.

For I made the gag out of frustration, not so much for the crumbs of pasty I lose while driving the milk float over these bumps, for I’m not so petty to calculate and invoice the council for a six pack of Ginsters, but for the pothole so deep it shattered my window, covering me in shards and leaving me in need of a change of underwear, for the repair of my car’s wheel balance, tyres, for the fact that although I drove over the window-shattering pothole carefully for the next month or so, and it was finally repaired, to note the other six or seven potholes surrounding that one wasn’t, and they’ve equalled it now in deepness. It’s a never-ending problem, I accept this, but for crying out loud, be the hero who finds a doable solution, and I can eat my words rather than have to mince them.

I’m aware we’ve bricked ourselves into this asylum the lunatics have taken over and that’s democracy, but if they’ve found a workable solution on the continent, are we too proud to pinch their strategies? Opps, grey area, fetch my blue pissport and I’ll shut the door behind me.

No good waffling figures to me about how much the council have spent on infrastructure, while I gaze at the new digital road sign in Worton, which flashes up the driver’s speed with a happy or sad face emoji, when one car I witnessed this week clocked 72mph and didn’t fuss to slow past the school gates through that 30mph zone. And, pray tell, how much did it cost to install it, compared to the revenue it’ll provide? It’s not how much you’ve got but what you do with it.

While it may well slow the considerate fella who’s accidentally slipped into 33mph, no emoji is going to cause these thoughtless potential murderers to take caution, but a copper with a speed camera offering a huge fine and lifetime driving ban might. That’d raise some pennies for tarmac, and reduce traffic as well as encouraging lorries to use the motorway and not shortcut through towns and villages; blimey I’m full of radical notions this morning; give the man a Twix.

But failing any of them, councillor, take a pay cut, live like the rest of us sufferers, avoid expensive luncheons, buy bargain custard creams for county hall’s biscuit barrel, or pick up a shovel, get your Fairy-Liquid-kind hands dirty for once in your sad little life and fill the potholes in yourself! Or do they keep potholes as it’s symbolic of where this country is heading?

Who can say for certain?

I can, “for certain,” there you go, job a good ‘un, shame the same can’t be said for Wiltshire Council’s road policy!

Trending….

Peace, Love, Americana and Jol Rose

I trouble procrastinating upon being gifted a previously released CD from an artist for review, unfortunately they land on the backburner, prioritising upcoming news items.…

Date Set for Devizes Pride

Hear ye, oh, hear ye, with much yet to plan for the event, we’re pleased to announce the date of Saturday June 29th has been…

Gastard’s Billionaire’s Tax Free Mine

I thought it’d be nice to have a localised “did you know” type article today, during this era where everyday folk die on our streets waiting for an ambulance, nurses cannot afford the petrol to get them to work, pensioners huddle together in community-led halls to keep warm, and a government which blames everything from a pandemic through to gas prices, Russians, and unions rather than its own incompetence that there’s “systems in place to help,” so, on a completely unrelated note, here goes…..

Did you know between the villages of Whitley and Gastard, on the Melksham to Corsham road, there’s what looks like a modest warehouse with a sizable office atop called Cert Octavian?

From ground up it looks like any other small business premises, other than the high security fence and gatehouse, but inside there’s a goods train which decends into a mine, of over a million square feet.

During the war the mine was used to store munitions, today, because of its constant ambient temperature it’s the perfect environment to store wine. Cert Octavian are a logicistics company, storing bonded wine from worldwide collectors and traders. Their collections are recorded, photographed and documents are sent to the clinet. Then it’s stored underground, millions of pallets of it. Anything from twenty to fifty pallets can arrive there daily, from every corner of the globe but mostly, obviously, from the Châteaus of Bourdeaux. Pallets of eight crates a layer, seven high, each crate with twelve bottles inside, ranging an average of £1,000 a bottle and gaining value with every second that passes.

The owners of the wine rarely see any of it, let alone drink it. A tiny fraction of their collection might be called on for a special occasion, but more likely its traded with another collector, so it will be bought to the surface, sent to the clinet, or to Sotherbys, Christie’s in New York, or similar auction and sent back to Cert Octavian to restore by a different customer, or more generally, simply bought to the surface, relabelled with the new clinet’s details, and sent back down again.

Traders usually buy in yen and sell in US dollar to achieve maximum profit, but why you may ask. Why have all this wine, so much wine they or their conceited bum chums couldn’t possibly drink it all in their lifetimes?

Because they are not wine conissours at all, and have no intention of ever taking so much as a sip. If they pose as them it’s a smokescreen. They’re worldwide investors, and as wine is a liquid assest they pay no tax on it; not a stitch, not a single penny. Billions upon billions of untaxable stock, just sitting down there, collecting profit and dust. Dust, sitting atop more money than you or I could possibly imagine.

The only people who will ever see it are the warehouse staff. Ask me how I know; I was, for a short peroid, one of those staff members; even honoured to drive the train once, choo-choo, which wasn’t as much fun as it sounds!

I saw it with my own eyes, saw the millionaire contracts from a single crate, and when I left they asked I return the polo shirt workwear they gave me!

Not that it’s for me to suggest the sickening inequality, a tenacious link between this economic recession and the greed of billionaires, simply because they, quite literally, want the shirt off my back. Neither is it for me to suggest how much revenue taxing this vast stock would procure, or the effects if a government had the balls to demand it’s now taxable, or even weighing it up against the NHS or the £2,436.7 billion national deficit, though I’m sure it’d cover both with enough spare to throw a party or twenty.

Or further still, not that it’s for me to suggest the billionaires could engage in what us peasants are asked of us; to “pull together for the good of the country.”

No, of course not, it’s not for me to suggest at all, anymore than the notion the trillions of untaxed pounds stored under Gastard is but a small player in the global untaxed wealth stashed in offshore accounting, tax loopholes, bogus company money laundering and illegal trades of drugs or weapons, but, you know, just thought it was an interesting bit of local historical information, that’s all. You have a good day now, you hear? Work on, pay your taxes,  choose between heating your home or feeding your kids, and be bloody grateful!

Devizes Town Councillors LIED About Bird Flu on Crammer

As temperatures rise from the coldest December spell in a decade, life on Devizes Crammer is returning to normal. The Crammer Watch team concentrate their efforts on the natural course of activities for the wildfowl present, as aggressive swans drive others onto the roadside in territorial disputes...…

Meanwhile, confused as to whether they should be fed, due to a lack of official advise to update them on the situation, townsfolk are understandably concerned for their health and wellbeing, after the deaths of two swans and two Canada Geese in December.

But the questions which need to be asked now, but clearly are not, are concerned more with the appropriateness of actions taken by Devizes Town Councillors on the matter; off I go, not wanting to issue a rant so close into a new year, but feeling it’s imperative; someone’s gotta say it……

Firstly, Guardian Town Councillor, Chris Greenwood declared on the Devizes News Facebook page that an outbreak of bird flu had be confirmed on the Crammer, and the birds had been collected by DEFRA for testing. This was backed up by a stern campaign on another Facebook group, Devizes Issues, by the admin and Conservative town councillor, Iain Wallis, not to feed the wildfowl on the Crammer to prevent spread of the disease.

Only when questioned on his statement did Mr Greenwood revert to DEFRA guidelines, stating any suspected outbreak should be treated as a definite outbreak, therefore this governed his advice to stop feeding the wildfowl. Meanwhile, Mr Wallis took it upon himself to delete any differing opinions on his own Facebook group. The argument for continuing to feed being, because of a lack of natural food source, the wildfowl would consequently die of starvation, if bird flu was evident or not.

They both informed the public DEFRA had collected the birds for testing, and this was backed up belatedly by Devizes Town Council, who issued a notice advising the same, not to feed the wildfowl. Clerk Simon Fisher adding in his published musings that the Council were operating on skeleton staff during the period, despite it being some weeks prior to Christmas.

As confirmation from DEFRA didn’t arrive all went quiet on the Western Front, updates were scarce and suspiciously varying. Councillor Wallis stated DEFRA were “busy,” others suggested DEFRA was closed for Christmas, a fortnight prior to Christmas. Councillor Greenwood stated no confirmation was likely, as DEFRA rarely test individual birds. But the real facts are coming to light from a leaked email from Clerk Simon Fisher to a Crammer Watch member; the birds were never collected by DEFRA at all.

In the email Mr Fisher states, “we did report the bird in the hope they would be collected but they weren’t. Given the time period and the level of decay that had started to set in, the birds were double bagged and disposed of. We are pleased that since the initial incidents, that there have been no more deaths, but we are now seeking advice from the Wetland Trust on the best way to feed the birds, which may be something that we do it ourselves in the future.”

Seems evident now it’s all been one big, fat fib, the likelihood of bird flu remains unknown and so does the chances of ever knowing. Only one bird on the canal has been reported dead since the original few during the freezing spell in December, DTC reports today, and well, nature takes its course, wild animals will unfortunately die. There’s as much evidence to suggest there never was an outbreak of bird flu as much as there was, but the truth may never be known. Reasons why the issue has been handled so appallingly would be speculation. Despite no one was pointing a finger, it was a close one to call after all, I’ll give them that much. Yet, I believe what needs to be questioned is the bolshy way this was pushed into effect via social media hysteria caused by the individual Councillors.

And of course, none of it would be a problem if the birds were in an area with a natural food source, for without it, as is the Crammer, the birds will die of starvation, infected with bird flu or not. Furthermore, there’s a danger to the birds crossing over the busy road to find alternative means of food from nearby pub and supermarket bins. This information of the lack a natural food source was passed to us by Swan Support, when they aided a rescue of swans struck by pollution in the Crammer back in springtime. The reason why Crammer Watch was set up. Crammer Watch advocated feeding the birds safely and individually would give them the sustainability to survive the freezing conditions, and the jury was out for the while, now it seems it was the right thing course of action, after all.

The argument put forward by the councillors active on social media was by not feeding the birds we are reducing the likelihood they’ll congregate and spread the disease. I get this, I really do, yet through various channels Crammer Watch sourced information from DEFRA, from the top UK medical boffins and the King’s Swan Marker; they’re not simply acting on a whim.

They say it isn’t illegal to feed and where local authorities are trying to stop it in most cases, they have installed barriers and taken over safe feeding. Devizes Town Council have none of this yet, and only now, a month too late, have they suggested it “may be something that we do it ourselves in the future.”

But the really concerning issue is by the aforementioned town councillor, Iain Wallis, responsible for the area the Crammer is, in mounting a huge campaign for no feeding, via being admin of the controversial Facebook group, Devizes Issues, which saw any angle of debate questioning the ruling we should stop feeding the wildfowl, promptly deleted and the commenters banned. Mr Wallis furthered the campaign by suggesting townsfolk should take the law into their own hands by reprimanding anyone found feeding the swans.

It’s one thing for admin of a claimed “unbiased” social media group to delete misinformation, it’s another to eradicate personal opinions, especially when there’s no confirmation of the fact. Now temperatures have returned to normal, comments on the post have been turned off, so no updated information seems to allowed, the word is final there; don’t feed the swans.

The final straw in this matter, for me, was to encourage the public to question anyone feeding the birds, as, and let’s be frank here, it’s obvious this would lead to a “torches and pitchforks” scenario, in which enraged abuse is thrown at anyone who dares to take an opposing opinion to Mr Wallis. Lo and behold, several reports of this have been made by victims of such verbal abuse, one person claiming an angered man shouted at her child for feeding the ducks. What have we become?!

Make no mistake, this outcome is outrageous and despicable, in my opinion, and questions should be raised as to councillor Iain Wallis’s motives behind such a forceful approach. As no official updates were given, people continued obey and not feed the wildfowl, much less drive others away from feeding them by hurling abuse at them.

But why, you understandably ask, and the only answer I can provide is, I don’t know. The birds there would obviously die if not fed, providing more evidence for a supposed but unproven case of bird flu. Councillor Greenwood stated in no uncertain circumstances, such a continuation of deaths will result in a mass cull of all birds in the area, interestingly he noted the gulls and the pigeons. The very gulls Wiltshire Councillor Laura Mayes has been calling for a cull of for months, and likewise the very same town councillor, Iain Wallis, has been pushing for a cull of the pigeons?

Permission needs granting to cull birds, if relevant agencies assess there’s not a significant pigeon problem in the area, they’ll not issue a licence. But we’ve heard nothing of the result on this, and they say no news is good news. I could fairly venture therefore, they didn’t issue any such licence, ergo pushing for a case of bird flu would be the backdoor to having a cull. Of course, this is speculation, but I worry, why else is this being pushed without evidence, and isn’t it coincidental the same councillor pushing this is the one who campaigned to cull the pigeons?

What other reason could there be? That the councillor is, much less a wildlife expert, because he’s not, but a caring soul for wildlife? A confessed Conservative blindly following the advice of DEFRA unquestionably. DEFRA, a government department, the same government which, against advice of financial experts condoned we’re best leaving the EU and plummeted us into recession, a government who, against advice of the World Health Organisation, suggested we’d not need to lockdown in a worldwide pandemic until after international jetsetters flew in for a profitable horse race? A government who profited from said lockdown and partied through it while advising we don’t see our babies born or our elderly relatives die? A government who crushed the NHS and education budgets, have continued to lie at every given opportunity? That government? Oh yeah, sounds viable to me!

If it feels like said government have little respect for human life, why do you suppose they would for animals? A government with the kingpin prime minister stating a fetish of fox hunting, continuing to find reasonable grounds to turn the hunting act around, and advocating other unlawful blood sports, and a badger cull, for example, without any real proof it leads to bovine Tb in cattle. And ultimately, a government which assigns an MP like Thérèse Coffey as minister for DEFRA, despite voting against protecting Animal Welfare and Food Standards from post-Brexit trade deals, as well as a lengthy voting record of other disgracefully unjust and oppressive issues. Face it, Thérèse Coffey doesn’t view animals as sentient, least that’s what her voting record revealed.

The MP who defended Rebekah Brooks as chief executive of News International when they thought it’d be fun to hack the phone of murdered teenager Milly Dowler, claiming objectors were on a “witch hunt,” yet had no issue aiding a similar witch hunt against Marcus Rashford, for merely suggesting the poorest children should be fed during the pandemic? Oh right, yeah, she sounds like someone who gives a toss about some swans living in a duck shit pond in Devizes, for sure.

Apologies if you feel I’ve gone off on a wild tangent here, but it feels like another brick in the wall. When a topic is debatable it usually means the motivation behind each side differs. Mine is purely based on the protection of the wildlife, the other side argue the same, but all I called for is a debate, with experts present, on how the Crammer can be improved to help the wildlife there. Chris Greenwood’s response to a call for a natural food source and an island ideal for bird flight paths, was “There’s currently no real possibility of providing a natural food source in or near the Crammer, due to it potentially restricting flight paths for the swans and geese, it would also disrupt the aesthetics of the area, by changing the very nature of a feature of our Town.”

The latter part of this raises the question of what folk in Devizes want, a pretty looking pond unsuitable and dangerous for the wildlife which visits it, or a conservational area apt for sustaining the needs of the wildlife. Crammer Watch say, “the Crammer had an island in the middle during the Victorian period, there is no other imaginable reason for its introduction unless it was precisely because of the aesthetic enhancement of walks.”

The first part of this, quite frankly, is codswallop. Crammer Watch points out, “swans drop in but can’t take off because there isn’t a long enough stretch of water for a safe runway and they can’t clear the trees or buildings.” Also stating “I have only seen them take off from the Green, albeit one may have taken off from water alone in June. I have started to wonder whether a way could be engineered to put swans off of dropping in. If non breeders drop in they find it impossible to leave in the short term and nothing to eat.”

Ergo, given Occam’s razor, that the explanation that requires the fewest assumptions is usually the correct one, without any confirmation or even evidence of bird flu, and the only birds dying in the extreme cold has now stopped as the temperature levelled, the argument with fewer explanations required is that the birds died of extreme weather conditions, as is the unfortunate natural course of life.

Whether or not the unsuitable conditions at the Crammer played a part in this, well, we could carry on all night with, but what’s clear, without feeding they’ll die anyway, so the logical reasoning is to feed them and anyone who says otherwise are either misinformed or have a different agenda. I also apologise to those councillors I’ve called out on this, all’s fair in love and war, for there’s a fair chunk of speculation presented, I’ll admit, but I can see no other reason for staging such a ferocious campaign against feeding them without the required evidence. But more so, I question the need to incite folk to police it themselves, for this would undoubtedly cause friction.

I believe a full, independent enquiry needs to be done, as to why the councillors perpetrated their fictious campaign; what else are they lying to us about?

Let’s hope for a positive outcome for the new year ahead, but if not, I urge you to leave The Devizes Issues Facebook group, because no one should be taking its advice and reprimanding children for feeding ducks; inexcusable behaviour from a town councillor, for heaven help if incited verbal abuse turned physical.

Devizine Review of 2022!

Featured Image by Simon Folkard Photography

Happy New Year from Wiltshire’s wackiest what’s-on website. It’s that time again when I waffle on endlessly in hope of summing up an entire year on Devizine. What can I say? It helps me grasp the ups and downs, highlights the things we could’ve done better but most of all, the things that went down well in 2022. And you get to see for yourself, our local area is awash with so many great events, so much great talent, and few things of concern……

Though I’m reserved to the fact, Santa’s good list starts afresh as early as January, so those who deliberately go out of their way to spoil the wellbeing of others and upset public peace will be called out accordingly, regardless of what position of power they might think they hold over others; Santa reads Devizine and Devizine states the facts, fact! See? It just did!

For the most part, though, Devizine is a happy place. If I must pick a favourite article I wrote this year, I’ve chosen an interview with John Petty, the brainchild of Devizes’ legendary event, the Boto-X. But it’s a rare thing for us to be retrospective, most coverage is about the here and now, and there’s so many highlights to mention, advance apologies for waffling!

January, I was still reviewing international music releases, as per-lockdown when we scrambled somewhat in the dark for content. It put me between a rock and hard place, the ol’ melon twister as to what exactly Devizine is; a music review blog, or a site dedicated to local affairs. While it straddled between the two for a while, I made the executive decision that Devizine is, first and foremost, a local affair, for local people, therefore if you’re not local the “things for you here” have been greatly reduced this year, as I’m sworn to dedicate it to the first and foremost.

Not to suggest I didn’t appreciate receiving new tunes from afar, and if I can make a tenacious link to something local, such as bands including a local venue on their tour, I will. The biggest niggle has been time, and time is key to decisions I’ve needed to make with content. As Devizine grows and lockdown is archived to the history books, I get inundated with enough local content to keep me busy, therefore reviewing international music has been put on the back-burner. Though reviewing locally produced music is still something we relish in, please send them in to us.

If I had the time, I’d consider reintroducing it, and in that there’s a reason to brainstorm how I balance my in-tray with working full-time and spending quality time with the family.

Part of this begun end of last year, when Christmas saw my son gain a “gamer’s corner” of our lounge, and to create the space I relocated my PC to my bedroom. At first, I admit I liked the idea, gave me office type space to think, but as the year went on, I realised I was missing family time, upstairs like a hermit. This meant I was either rushing out content fast as I could, or attempting to create content on my phone app, which doesn’t work quite as well. The new year’s resolution, then, is to acquire a shiny new laptop, allowing me to disappear upstairs when I need to concentrate, but create content and update the event calendar far more efficiently while still spending time downstairs with the family.

If I used the term “Devizine Towers” to make you believe we’ve a Trump-like office block, employing staff in various departments, (mostly in the complaints department) it was a big fat fib for humorous effect. But you’re no fool, I guess you knew this anyway.

Fact is, Devizine is a non-profit labour of love. Though this notion hasn’t put more folk off contributing and helping to make Devizine comprehensive in coverage. I’m eternally grateful for everyone who has helped in this, from longstanding reporter, Mr Andy Fawthrop, to Ian Diddams, Ben and Vicky, Lorraine, and the few other occasional contributors.

Take the “Devi” bit away, and you’re left with “zine,” and that’s the ethos we run with, a free press, DIY concept without the confines of mainstream publishing; ergo, we can publish whatever we see fit, and anyone and everyone is welcome to submit anything for consideration. This transpires to you all, if you go to a gig, for example, and think “everyone needs to know how fantastic this band are,” please consider jotting down a few words on the subject, snap a couple of wobbly photos on your phone, and send it to us. You don’t need to be Shakespeare, we are not your English teacher, and can even edit any spelling or grammatical mishaps to the best of our ability!

To stats and all that mathematical malarkey. 2021 we received well over double the hits to the site, but to double it again felt a little ambitious. We didn’t achieve it, but we did get 23% above the record-breaking 2021 with a further +18K, so again we’re heading up the right direction, with 100K hits seeming like an achievable target this year. To have achieved this, being I feel I slacked off slightly with supplying regular content sometimes through the year, I think is amazing, and I appreciate everyone who enjoys reading Devizine; thank you all, blinking love yer, group hug!

Image by Simon Folkard Photography

The best hitting article this year was from May, when immediately after DOCA’s Street Festival, I highlighted all the forthcoming big events coming in Devizes, headlining it “The Big Ones; Forthcoming Summer Events in Devizes.” Strange how, going on the success of this, in December I published a second “Big Ones” piece, this time highlighting on a wider scale, the best large-scale events and festivals locally over the entire 2023, incorporating anything deemed conceivable to travel to from here. But this was not nearly as successful on hits. Pondering why, I must consider we’re Devizes based, ergo content about Devizes seems to get most attention. Start to venture any further than the Lavingtons and that’s foreign soil!

Yeah, I’m aware the name Devizine directly links to Devizes, but I like the name, it’s grounded now, besides, I believe it’s important to let folk from other local areas know, Devizine’s boundaries are flexible, incorporate anywhere conceivable to travel to for an event, so ideally from Salisbury to Swindon, Bath to Marlborough, but hey, like I say, we’re flexible and I’m not going to hold it against you if you live in Newbury!

In fact, even if I often loiter sober, Billy-no-mates fashion, I’ve enjoyed my voyages of discovery outside of D-town most of all. Particularly Swindon Shuffle, MantonFest, Trowbridge Town Hall, Seend Community Centre for The Female of the Species gig, a trip to Aldbourne to see Painted Bird and Deadlight Dance, and especially the fond memory of going on the road to a Portsmouth gig with Talk in Code. It also goes a long way in the introduction of acts from elsewhere, who often find gigs in town after we’ve featured them playing elsewhere, or within an album review.

Fair to point out at this conjunction, our preview of The Party For Life organised Suicide Prevention gig at Melksham Town FC was the second highest hitting article this year, blowing my Devizes-only theory out of the water, and forgoing the best hit articles are often based upon how many people share and re-Tweet social media posts. The organisers of this one was so pleased to get some press coverage, in an area where the mainstream press seem more interested in national headlines and celebrity click-bait tosh, they rarely support local affairs, especially in entertainment.

This is what gives me the motivation to continue with Devizine, despite some criticism of a completely fictional political sway, or knickers twisted from the few we’ve had to call out the behaviour of. To know we’re appreciated, to hear stories of how we helped, be it a venue finding a band, or visa-versa, or a charity able to reach out, these things are what keeps our spirits up.

Feel-good articles, you know? That’s the ticket, so when young local actress Jess Self won Vernon Kay’s Talent Nation in November, people flocked to our coverage, making it our third best-hitting article this year. These bring the person(s) of the subject delight and joy, and that’s really what it’s all about, smiles on faces, people, smiles all round.

And given this, I really don’t understand why some people want to criticise us, ban us from their petty, clique social media groups, but they will, and that’s life. I got a name for them, I won’t spell it out here today; smiles on faces, remember?!

The fourth best-hit article of the year was a 30th anniversary piece on the Castlemorton free rave, a personal reflection on the historic event and the impact it had on society. But more importantly should be local current affairs, and when we broke the story of pollution in the water of The Crammer Pond in Devizes, well that became our fifth best hitter. Sadly, I really thought we’d made an impact here, and plans were afoot to address the unsuitability of the pond for wildlife and what can be done to rectify it by the town council.

Unfortunately, the issue has raised its ugly head again after the death of some wildfowl during December’s freezing conditions, of which bird flu was blamed but never proven. Nevertheless, no bird has died since a rise in temperature, bird flu is being used to politically point score and to suit other agendas by the powers that be. Is there nothing off limits to boost their egos, not even the deaths of wild animals?

Apparently not, as we continue to assist in campaigns against animal cruelty, especially of blood sports, the badger cull, and expose the trial hunt as the smokescreen it is. So, not only did we cover Lacock’s violence at Boxing Day perpetrated by the Avon Vale Hunt, when it came to light, the single police officer was a member of the hunt and did little to keep the peace, but other suspicious factors too, such as the proposed closure of Savernake Forest. Allowing only for a few set paths to be accessible around the Postern Hill site, environmental benefits to the forest were used in excuse, but residents were suspicious it’d give game hunters unrestricted access without the watchful eye of ramblers.

I cover these issues because I believe in them, and we don’t see enough being done to tackle the issues in, not only other local media sources, but within Wiltshire Police too, who’s fall into special measures surely proves what we’ve always said; the bogus re-election of a PCC in order to sustain totalitarianism for the Conservative Party has resulted in a candidate completely unsuitable for the role, a lack of motivation within the force, and people’s conviction in the Police in general.

I strive to wish to help any such organisations, to illustrate what they are doing to improve, should they wish to, but if it’s fluff they seek, they’re in the wrong place. Our services, our schools and charities are suffering from the incompetence of an uncaring government, we continue the fight for the everyman. That is not political sway, that’s common sense.

We will be reporting the facts of the Crammer debate as opinion pieces here, if you disagree that’s no issue, we won’t hold it against you, for it’s a close one to call. Much less certain councillors have decided their way or the highway. Okay, whatever hidden agendas lie there, but if you convince others to take matters into their own hands, resulting in children being harassed and verbally abused simply for feeding ducks, what have we become, blindly taking the word of someone with a popular Facebook page?!! Well, more’s the pity for them when I call them out on it.

On a happier note, sixth most popular article announced; George Ezra coming to Trowbridge, in what must’ve been the highlight of many young faces in our area. The response was overwhelming, and special thanks goes to Roger of Sound Knowledge, Marlborough and Kieran Moore of Sheer Music for making that happen. Bringing a top act like this to our area, without the need of an extortionate price, or ticket stub of festival proportions, allowing children and teenagers to catch a glimpse of live music by an inspiring popular act like Ezra was nothing short of miraculous, and I had a great time too!!

Something which doesn’t bother me as much as it seems to for a majority, the news DOCA have reset the date of Devizes carnival to the traditional date to the 2nd September was our 7th most popular article. MantonFest revealing their 2022 line-up came 8th, and what a brilliant festival it was, tickets for this year’s are on sale now, though I’ve procrastinated on a preview for the line-up, save inclusion on our aforementioned “Big Ones” article. Something we’re sure to knock up as soon as, because 2023’s line-up sounds equally as great.

From a proposal raised at a Devizes Town Council meeting by national organisers, the idea of a Devizes Cheese & Chilli Festival proved popular, being our 9th most popular article of 2022. Though, did this ever actually happen?! I certainly don’t recall hearing any more about it. Fact is though, Devizes already has our regular Devizes Food & Drink Festival, and that is well-established and as popular as ever. Dates for this year are to be confirmed, cheese and chilli I’m sure will be included, all you must do is support it.

The 10th most popular article of 2022 was concerned with Wax Palace, who held an officially licensed “rave festival” near Erlestoke. Much to the preconceptions of locals concerned, we spoke to organiser Harry, the man who ingeniously got a rave approved by Wiltshire Council, but when chatting to him it became clear how he managed it.

After this the sheer mountain of content we published continued, the day-to-day reviews of nights down our favourite venues, the concerns of public interest, and some silliness to boot! Though I must say, our cheeky, satirical pieces I’ve laid off from recently; must try harder!

Always popular, though not as previous years, like the very notion a McDonald’s would come to Devizes, was our essential April Fools joke. Our 11th most popular article this year, when I suggested Devizes Market Place will be pedestrianised; oh, the very thought of environmental progression angered gammons from afar, but seriously struck a chord with campaigners like Sustainable Devizes, and when you think about it, might yet be an environmentally sensible solution.

Yet, last year I struggled with an April Fools joke, while previous years were founded long before the date, I’m pleased to whisper to those brave enough to have read this far, I’ve already got a killer for this year, and it came to me immediately after All Fools Day 2022. On this though, no one seemed to have noticed the service road on my diagram was deliberately shaped like a small penis; a gag failed, maybe because clearly, none of you own a small penis!

But what of the importance of stats and popularity against our own personal enjoyment of attending events and giving our tuppence on them? Speaking to Andy about what we should or shouldn’t attend, I stressed, as we’re far from professional here, our focus should be on enjoying ourselves rather than seeing ourselves as pro-journalists, having to cover events we might not enjoy. Our objective therefore is surely to enjoy ourselves foremost; so, mine is a pint of scrumpy when you see me, cheers! Excuse the wobbly photos, we should view this as enjoyable or it’s not worth doing.

Taxing Andy’s superior mind for his most memorable events of 2022, off the top of his head, and in no particular order, he suggested: when Tankus The Henge played Devizes Arts Festival, and the Darius Brubeck Quartet too. Longcroft’s Lachy Doley gig in December, and Jazz Sabbath in November. Long Street Blues Club also features understandably high in his hitlist, noting April’s Carl Palmer, Skinny Molly, and March’s Soft Machine gigs. For me, both the Birdmen and the Errol Linton Band were my most memorable nights at Long Street, up skanking with the town councillor! Our gratitude to Ian and Liz for perhaps the most interesting and diverse programme at Long Street, ever!

As for Devizes Arts Festival, Andy became part of the furniture there, not missing a gig. I, on the other hand, skived, apologise profusely, and regret it too. Although, to catch Baila La Cumbia, or simply to have cumbia in Devizes was something I couldn’t miss, and must be one of my favourite gigs of 2022. That said, on my venturing out of Devizes note, I was welcomed over to Calne for their Arts Festival, to see one my new favourite things after fondly reviewing their debut album, and that is Concrete Prairie, who I’m glad to say, come to the Southgate on Saturday 25th March, do not miss it.

On our dependable Southgate, there’s too much to type about, again proving itself for another year to be the stalwart in providing regular live music, and simply for being such a fantastic watering hole. Andy notes the first Sunday of the month residences of Jon Amor, and I cannot possibly argue against this, reviewed them too, and even Ian Diddams stepped in to write his take on it.

I mean, right, bringing Beaux Gris Gris to the jam, who also played at Long Street is nothing short of awesome. Andy also gave honourable mentions of Southgate gigs to the Sarah C Ryan Band, Eddie Martin, and Jack Grace. Ben and Victoria noted the Cracked Machine gig at The Gate, whereas for me, SGO, again, Eddie Martin, but also 12 Bars Later, The Worried Men and Barrelhouse, all provided my most memorable evenings at this wonderful tavern.

Though despite working his little socks off at the Stealth bar, Andy was also quick to mention the Full-Tone Festival, which goes without saying. Such a marvellous annual event on our calendar, we had a fantastic time Full-Tone, thank you. Think classical festival, I’ll give you, but with Kirsty Clinch breezing the sunny Sunday vibes with her brand of pop-folk, or James Threlfall up there on the wheels of steel, how can we possibly now marginalise this? It’s incorporating everything, aside their love of classical, to the point the only part of the word classical we need to sum it up with is the beginning part; class.

Image: Gail Foster
Image: Simon Folkard

Time for tiny niggle, then, for Full-Tone comes at a price, a price you’ll see where your money goes should you attend, but with this in mind, the most fantastic event in Devizes must remain as the free-for-all DOCA Street Festival. This year I took a taster in volunteering to help, and consequently saw how much hard work goes into putting this on. All this said, I still partied, cider in one hand, clearing the bins in the other! And must say, throughout the wealth of talent present, the circus acts, and musical activities, which are too many to mention here, Mr Tea and the Minions rocked my world, and Loz’s farewell gift to Devizes, the Ceres display by Bassline Circus, was nothing short of the most breath-taking, inspiring, and apt thing I’ve EVER seen happen in Devizes.

Image Simon Folkard

But Devizes has seen the most amazing year for entertainment events in general, post lockdown, we are celebrating big stylee! Just think, I’ve written all this without even mentioning CAMRA’s Devizes Beer and Cider Festival yet, and that was phenomenal this year. With Ben and Vicky taking on the music task, they did a spectator job, Dr Zebo’s, I give you, Vince Bell giving it “you ain’t ever leaving,” and why would we? With Triple JD’s Hendrix-fashioned brilliance, followed by a reggae jam with Knati P and Nick; wowzers! Yes, it was so good I did fall into the flowerbed; thanks to my rescuers!

And while Wadworth gave us a free mini-fest, supporting local acts like Ben Borrill and The Roughcuts, Ruzz Guitar and the gang rocked Saddleback, which after a plethora of acts from Derby, turned into a full-scale dance event for an apt charitable cause. And The Crown at Bishop’s Cannings pulled out all the stops, giving us the inaugural CrownFest, something so utterly spectacular, I shit you not, Freddie Mercury mingled with the crowd!

Outside our area, I did MantonFest, which was a beauty, and later witnessed a Noddy-a-like yell “it’s Christmassss” at Marlborough College, while trips to Trowbridge Town Hall blessed me with meeting Gecko, and The Scribes, and wow, if Professor Elemental didn’t host a fantastic night with Boom Boom Racoon and The Real Cheesemakers. Nights I’ll never forget.

To bring hip hop to Trowvegas is one thing, to do it in Devizes is another, and though I sadly missed James Threlfall’s BBC Introducing night at the Muck and Dunder, I tip my straw hat to the rum bar, not just for presenting diversity to Devizes’ music events, but doing it in such style it bought the house down. I am, of course referring to the incredible Scribes visiting us in November, wow, that was a pina colada level of cool!

As far back as February, People Like Us played a packed Three Crowns in Devizes, affirming the pub’s reputation as a firm player on our live music scene. It’s always a great night, universally welcoming. Thinking back to The Roughcut Rebels playing a blinder one summery August, to the point, I’m basing my birthday down there on 4th March. Free to all, just turn up, we’ve hopefully some acoustic music in the afternoon followed by Talk in Code and the Ruzz Guitar Trio.

There’s just so much great, great stuff which happened last year, apologies if I missed mentioning your favourite bit, the article is going to epic proportions now and I need to put a cork in it. I just get so excited noting all these great happenings, it gives me great pleasure to be the happy chappy who helps to inform you about them.

I mean, look, I’ve not even mentioned our fabulous Wharf Theatre yet, who I’m delighted to really touch base with this year, and be invited to dress rehearsals, so we can get our views out on the performances prior to you delving into your purse for. Andy, Ian, and myself have given you the lowdown on TITCO’s The Dinner Party, Picnic at Hanging Rock, Hedda Gabler, Lovesong, but my favourite most was when Georgina Claridge played a Dorothy-type character in a most thoughtful, homemade children’s play by Helen Langford, called The World Under the Wood. We love the Wharf!

We had a feast at Soupchick, helped save Furlong Close, we told you about Swindon Paint Fest, we said about Midlife Krisis raving at the Vic in a milk float, we went to the Art Heist in Chippenham, we released a second volume of our 4 Julia’s House compilation albums, which you still NEED to buy, we even went down the “Bin” for UB40 tribute Johnny2Bad, but on bad, we cannot sing the praises of everyone, for that’s simply not realistic. The naughty list is open to invitation!

It was a shame to have to report how popular local Facebook group, Devizes Issues, administered by Tory town councillor Iain Wallis has seen it fit to block and ban Devizine for absolutely no given reason, as it has done with many individuals and even a local Covid support group. Nothing to do with a failed, laughable attempt to set up their own what’s on guide, (which only includes town council organised events,) no, of course not! It seems to enjoy regular culls of anyone who holds an alternative opinion to those of the admin’s, despite inviting members to participate in political debate on both local and national scales. So be it, we’re not looking back… the GB News of Devizes!!

We haven’t banned anyone from our social media pages, you can still enjoy the apolitical Devizine whatever side of the fence you sit on. We are an entertainment events and what’s on guide, ergo, there’s no need to include our personal political views, so we don’t. Why some think we should or shouldn’t do are shit stirrers from both sides, and we don’t play ball with shit stirrers. If you think different that’s your own issue, seek a doctor’s advice, not mine!

What a shame, that had to be said, but I feel it did. I’m not going out like that! For the most part Devizine continues to be the Time Out of Wiltshire, and I’m proud of this, and I’m eternally grateful to everyone who supports it. So, here’s to 2023, hoping it will be as good as last year, hoping we’ll get to cover more of it, be as comprehensive as possible, to not rise to witch hunts against us, and be the go-to website for the free-thinking local.

I urge you to tell us your story, inform us of your events, give us the scoops to cover, tell us about your talented family member, tell us about a niggly issue in need of exposure. Yeah, you can rant on Facebook or Twitter, but you won’t get the same level of attention, we are here to shake up the area, we are here to bring you the news on how great-a-place this is. If this means we’re the black sheep because we refuse to comply, so be it.

Devizine for 2023, I say, though I would, wouldn’t I?! We want to host some events too, btw, we want to raise some funds for charities, and we want to have a good time doing it! Do not get in our way of this simple ethos, with your pathetic and frankly perverse urge to kiss arse!

More Wildfowl Die as Situation on the Crammer is Debated

NOTE: This article gives no advise on what to do for the best, honestly, I don’t know what to make of all this, or what side to sit on, as a second swan died on the Crammer in Devizes yesterday, after two Canada geese did prior, only in that the two debating sides are of the same motivation, and I’m assured they only wish to do what is best for the birds.

The Crammer Watch page announced the RSPCA attended the Crammer today, Sunday, and said, “in the absence of a positive test for bird flu there is no reason to withdraw feeding safely.” In this it is my understanding, though face it, no one arguing any of this are experts, no matter how much some think they are, as the Crammer has no natural food source, not feeding the birds there will either see them move on, thus spreading any potential flu elsewhere (or will it disperse it, I simply don’t know), or stay on the Crammer and die in the freezing conditions. My only condolence in this is the recent higher temperatures. Still, the wildfowl there are under-nourished and this effects their ability to survive in these extreme conditions.

Crammer Watch reasons with heartfelt plea, “why did Crammer Watch carry on feeding wildfowl on the Crammer? We monitor these birds daily, saw no classic symptoms of bird flu but expected deaths of weakened birds from the extreme cold. When individual large birds were found dead, one each day, but none of the smaller species – we contacted the official Agency for advice on two separate occasions. We continue to speak daily to wildlife professionals. In the absence of identifiable symptoms or a positive test we continued feeding safely following the safety measures. Crammer Watch has always promoted feeding only what birds eat straight away – one reason why our few volunteers visit more than once a day in winter. We are only attempting to keep our lovely Crammer birds alive.”

It is contradicting advise from Devizes Town Council, who state not to feed the birds at all. At times I consider Crammer Watch running on heartstrings, but as of the current situation we are unaware if the Department for Environment, Food & Rural Affairs are even engaging in tests, let alone when we can expect confirmation. Putting the importance of confirmation to Devizes Town Councillor Chris Greenwood yesterday, who has confirmed the birds are dying because of bird flu, writing on Devizes News Facebook group; “Bird Flu has been confirmed in Devizes, with several birds having been reported with the virus,” I consider this greatly misleading, as to-date he later confessed there is no such apparent confirmation.

Despite the DEFRA website not reporting any bird flu outbreaks in our area, Chris contradicted himself, now saying confirmation is “irrelevant,” as the situation should be treated as if there is bird flu on the Crammer, according to guidelines. He stated, “the three cases of death are being treated as infected, under guidance from government and wildlife agencies. Losing three birds within such a short period of time, can only be regarded as potential for grave concern about the health of the Town’s birdlife. Until we have the “All Clear” it is imperative that feeding large groups of birds and wildfowl is avoided.”

So, I asked Chris on the grounds that nowhere on the link provided (the DEFRA guidelines) suggests confirmation is irrelevant, but in fact says; These signs can indicate bird flu, but the avian influenza virus can only be confirmed through laboratory tests, if “DEFRA has done such tests, and if so, when will the results of test be announced?”

His responsewas frank: “If and when it is categorically diagnosed as bird flu, then APHA will come along, capture everything, and cull them. We are desperately trying to stop people feeding birds, which encourages them to congregate, and potentially become infected. There is no middle ground here, and attracting birds to a suspected site of infection, is effectively giving them a death sentence either way. Two more birds have been recorded as sick, which could potentially place the site in danger of a total cull. There are no facilities for hospitalisation or recovery, no fluffy blankets, or hot drinks – the birds will die! As far as the actual testing is concerned, it is highly unlikely that many birds will have post mortem examinations, due to the vast numbers being reported, and collected.” And to add to our concerns, he became quite agitated with my line of fire which was only so because of said inconsistencies, “Does this reply answer your question, or would you prefer to wait until APHA turn up with their nets and euthanasia equipment?!”

“There’s unlikely to be any announcement,” Chris claimed, “the next step would be a total cull of all wildfowl, including gulls, pigeons, and any other birds in the area.” Which is bizarre considering friendly town councillor Iain Wallis, in charge of the area the Crammer is in, has been positively open about campaigning for the culling of pigeons for months, and I must wonder if this is the answer to his prayers, though he refuses to cooperate with us due to other disagreements we have had in the past; which is, to be frank, while we’re all obviously being frank here, petty bullshit.

Of course, no one really wants this to happen, and consider my thoughts unfair on the hard-working councillors, but as said, unlike a natural waterside, if the birds there rely on handouts, they will either fly off elsewhere if they can, or die anyway if no one feeds them; that’s the problem, they will die no matter what we do, then again, such is the natural circle of life, I sigh.

We raised the issue of having a natural food source for the wildfowl on the Crammer back in the spring, based on what Swan Support told us while rescuing the swans, when the issue was pollution in the Crammer caused by an overflow pipe running into it directly from the roadside. I asked Chris if he felt if it was dealt with back then we wouldn’t find ourselves in this conundrum now.

“There’s currently no real possibility of providing a natural food source in or near the Crammer, due to it potentially restricting flight paths for the swans and geese,” he continued, “it would also disrupt the aesthetics of the area, by changing the very nature of a feature of our Town.” The first point is above my sphere of knowledge on the subject, the reasons birds need organised flight paths, like air traffic control, or what?! But the latter is most concerning, yes, it might change the very nature of the unsuitable for wildfowl pond for the better, a mini wildlife reserve on our doorstep would be far better in my honest opinion than a concrete kerb into a duck shit tarn! Though this is costly, I know, accept this, and have said this too in the past. No one is expecting miracles overnight, but cards need to be thrown on the table because overnight the wildfowl are sadly dying.

It is a conundrum “that’s providing an answer of its own,” Chris suggested, because “following detailed examination and analysis of the silt and water content, by competent professionals, we will shortly be in a position to confirm that there is barely any difference between those recent results, and those taken in 2008. The drainage from the roadside, is currently providing the only method of restoring water content to an optimum level.” Poisonous matter has been dribbling into the water in the Crammer long before 2008.

The concerning conclusion here was when Chris finished, after thanking him for his time, “we are faced with a situation that affects the long-term welfare of birds, and we have been given sound advice which is being ignored by a few – having the potential for a large loss of birdlife, to the detriment of the very things that the vast majority of us are trying to protect. I find it inconceivable that those few people insist on quibbling over semantics, when faced with the real possibility of a mass cull.”

If quibbling means “the action of raising objections about a trivial matter,” this is terrible wording I’d ask him to take back, for those asking the questions are needing to know, because they’re equally as concerned, and the deaths of animals is far from trivial. Still, we must take these ideas as red, coming from the top, and no matter the dire circumstances and how our hearts drive us, accept that feeding the birds is damaging to the situation, if it is so.

The jury is out, I’m sitting on the fence here and cannot advise what to do for the best, other than follow the advice from the council, and hope and pray for the bird’s welfare. Though I also remain in the dark about how anyone can officially claim bird flu has been confirmed when clearly it hasn’t, and this gives me understandable reason for concern. Dammit, where’s Chris Packham when we need him?!

Devizine Christmas Podcast!

I’ve only gone and done another podcast, and I apologise. But it is in keeping with the season…..

Please note: this podcast contains adult themes and language, and is NOT for children.

Here we are then, bar humbug, my second monthly podcast goes all Christmassy…. sort of, as I discuss shopping, Christmas meal deals, the hype, and the true meaning of Christmas, the big day itself, and have myself a teary-eyed temper tantrum!

Gathering local Christmas songs, moaning about them grumpily, and having a seasonal ska mix at the end. With songs from Tickle Your Fancy, The Lost Trades, Timid Deer, Danni W, Illingworth, Tom Harris, Eddie Mole, and Knati P, and our ska mix from Baked-A-La-Ska, Sir Jay & The Skatanauts and The Copacetics. Have a merry Christmas one all all!

Thanks to everyone who sent me a song, even if you didn’t expect it to be on such an appalling podcast as this!!

Tally-Ho for Boxing Day; Avon Vale Hunt Ride Again Admist Protests

Here we go again, Lacock’s Boxing Day incongruous pageant of corruption and barbarism plans to go ahead this year, despite protests, as The Avon Vale Hunt will gather in showy and shameless glory.….

Safe in the knowledge the single patrolling WPC, Laura Hughes was a member of the hunt, and it was suggested did little to remain impartial, last year’s Boxing Day fiasco turned nasty, with violent clashes between hunt supporters and protesters. The protesters intend to be in attendance again, for peaceful intent as always, but hoping for safety in numbers.

While you’d like to think Wiltshire Police have learned a lesson, and this year’s event will be more efficiently manned, no charges or disciplinary was deemed necessary for the officer in question, despite publicly stating “we do accept a potential conflict of interests should have been declared,” and claiming they were unaware of her association with the hunt. Well, they’re aware now, only time will tell.

We also hope Wiltshire PCC Phillip Wilkinson’s recent crackdown on rural crime strategies, which has seen recent arrests for hare coursing, will extend to hunting, but he has shown little respect for hunt protesters in the past, apparently calling anti-hunt individuals, “balaclava wearing thugs.” In similar logic as Nelson Mandela was a deemed terrorist, no doubt.

With Conservative MP James Gray accused of being in attendance last year, in support of the hunt, sonething he later denied although photographed there, it would seem there’s a clear aborehence of the Hunting Act within many powers that be, resulting in these clashes, which sadly takes costly lawsuits to justifiably resolve. Something avoidable with proactive policing, me thinks; or is that a tad too bleeding obvious?!

In April, three hunt supporters were convicted after pleading guilty to using “threatening, abusive or insulting words or behaviour with intent to cause unlawful violence.” In September though, the anti-hunt individuals were acquitted. Judge Dickens said, “ultimately, the evidence is pretty thin, wafer thin…While there is just about a case to answer, the evidence is wafer thin and it won’t get any better, and for those reasons I won’t be able to be sure they were not acting in self-defence.”

What is becoming clearer through this, is the wheels of the ‘trail hunting’ smokescreen are coming off, as the populous accept it’s a charade, and leaving hunters frustrated, and aggressive. I can understand this, they’ve taken their toys away, and in the name of tradition it would seem a shame, if the activity wasn’t a completely unnecessary bloodthirsty and barbaric activity which has been democratically deemed unwanted and unlawful in today’s society.

It now falls on town and parish councils, landowners and pub landlords to accept the majority’s appeal on this matter, and outright ban all hunting meets and activities on their land, regardless of these petty bogus claims of lawfulness, until such a time they can prove no acts of animal welfare have been breached. Which, and let’s be frank, they can’t, ergo they react in force of vengeance. For if they could, there would be no valid reason to behave with this thuggish mentality.

So, I cannot advise you attend, for your own safety, but the Boxing Day meet will start at 10am in Lacock, but doing so at your own risk will show support for the rising campaign against this, and, as I said, it is the responsibility of Wiltshire Police to ensure the event runs more smoothly this time. Here’s to a peaceful protest, then, and also to those risking themselves to protect our wildlife, not just on Boxing Day, but throughout the year.

Unemployment is a Choice, Says Wiltshire PCC Phillip Wilkinson

You’ve got to love social media for its provision into the ethics of those in positions of power. It’s beggar’s belief why no-one in the White House office monitered Trump’s flutters on Twitter, let alone attempted to stop him.

Similarly, while this thread on the Facebook page of Wiltshire Police Crime Comissioner, Phillip Wilkinson, begun on the rightful topic of tackling knife crime, it quickly became a little frosted window into the psyche and ethos of our PCC, who, to a response suggesting rising crime rates and employment satisfaction are related, stated “people need to work to earn a wage which over 5 million have decided not to do.”

With a tendency to say what he sees on his official Facebook page, Phillip Wilkinson might fair well on TV’s Catchphrase, but in a position of power such as PCC, is this really a responsible reply to a simple notion? That’s not to suggest I believe everyone currently out of work is striving to regain employment, and will be the first to agree there’s a debatable number bucking the system (like many politicians evidently are too, only far worse), but if current unemployment numbers sit at 5.3 million, just where did Wilko pull the statistic that 96% of them made a premeditated choice to be out of work?

One has to ponder if this is an extremely bad choice of wording on his part, or if he really believes the vast majority of unemployed choose to be unemployed, for the latter option sounding most probable is, quite honestly, a grossly misinformed, shameful and thoroughly irresponsible attitude.

I find myself wondering if he has the foggiest notion just how frustrating and demoralising being out of work is, for the majority out of work, if he’s stopped to contemplate how damaging his comment is, and if, admist his pomposity, he really gives a hoot.

Fact is, a massive majority out of work are not so because of a concious decision not to, rather cannot work due to mental or physical illness, redundancy or being laid off, or social situations such as single parents without skills or experience to obtain a salary able to cover childcare costs. Anyone with any basic understanding of how real life works already knows this, you’d have thought?!

There’s even a great number of them unable to gain employment after being mentally or physically injured serving in the forces, which he so proudly parades his own record in; whatever happened to the “nemo resideo” ethos of solidarity in the armed forces?

But more concerning is it’s a fact surely garnished with bittersweet hypocrisy that the very political party Phillip Wilkinson aligns to are responsible for such poor conditions and economic decline rendering the situation far worse than it need be. Shut the front door in the face of shallowness!

Someone draw a map of logic for the chap, and manoeuvre some tanks of reason across it in a manner he might comprehend; dole, job seeker’s allowance, tax credits, whatever the latest name a government office human resources team spent serveral conferences deciding to call it, is a safety net, because no one’s job is 100% safe. Anyone can find themselves out of work, from their factory closing to their business in negative equity, and everyone who worked paid for that safety net, it is our money, we put in to build it.

Still, it’s the negative stereotyping and arrogant attitudes of odious individuals like this which projects the concept one should feel honoured for the ability to take any of this back, one should feel ashamed to have to sign on, and this turns the coggs of a vicious circle in the demoralising the very being of unemployment.

Far from me lobbing a random opinion for the sake of mocking a tory, I’ve felt it myself, been there. I’m speaking from experience and with an open heart. What the Wiltshire PCC expresses here is openly and unashamedly prejudice against the unwell, the sick and disabled, not least the poor or homeless, and coming from a man responsible for our policing, it’s also throughly concerning.

To Mr Wilkinson I ask if he realises people retain their morals when not working, their emotions too, and doesn’t abuse his position to highlight his wonky and, frankly, disgusting opinions.

Hillworth and Coate Housing Developments Rejected

Word on the grapevine is both controversial housing developments, one west of Hillworth Road, and the other off Coate Road in Devizes have been refused permission, Hillworth from five votes to three with one abstention at this morning’s Wiltshire Council Strategic Planning Committee meeting.….

The Hillworth site proposed the odd number of fifty-nine new houses, allowing only for the limit of 30% of affordable homes, meaning 18 of the 59, 11 affordable renting, and 7 shared ownership. But the plans faced criticism from both residents and Devizes Guardians, with residents protesting against it on October 30th.

The second far more ambitious proposal, a maximum of two-hundred houses, with again limited affordable housing, 36 rented, and 24 shared ownership, over near Coate was rejected soon after the Hillworth announcement, even with persuasive technique promising shops, because, you know, we haven’t got enough retail space in Devizes awaiting someone to occupy them.

Organiser of the Hillworth protest, Steve Cole told the Gazette, “this development is purely speculative, and its only aim is to make money from one of the town’s most valuable wildlife habitats. We don’t need speculation; we need preservation and protection to ensure our community and the wildlife can continue to enjoy this area for years to come.”

Yet this quote from the same article really takes the biscuit for a walk to cloud biscuitland, and dunks it in the tea of fibs lake. The developers added “the existing highway network would satisfactorily accommodate the additional traffic arising from the proposed development without resulting in any severe impacts.” Earth to planet developer, who blatantly has never attempted to turn out of Hillworth Road, much less drive anywhere in Devizes during peak hours! Must’ve graduated from the Boris Johnson school of honesty.

Such wildly inaccurate assessments against a market town already in dying need of improvement to infrastructure makes me suspicious of the whole shebang, don’t know about you? Yeah, new homes need to be built, but around towns with bypasses like Calne, not towns without the capacity for a bypass, like Devizes. Take the already bustling tight rat traps at your own peril. And besides, is anyone in a position to be buying a home right now, anyway? Putting their’s on the market and gathering some cardboard boxes more like. We need a much higher percentage of affordable rented homes, not just the minimum to satisfy the regulatory.

Devizes Guardians have been against both proposals, town Councillor Jonathan Hunter told me he believes “the current infrastructure in Devizes, including services like dentistry, GP surgeries, schools and local transportation provision is not adequate for an ever increasing population. Our current road infrastructure is certainly not able to cope”

Apologies if this newsflash is hardly breaking, and you’ve read opinions about it already plastered over your favoured local Facebook groups, but trekking back from Swindon earlier, I hit Devizes bang-on 5pm; shock-horror, I’m wagering you’ll never guess what happened next?!

A 35 minute journey magically tranforms into an hour and a quater, fighting the town congestion like Immortan Joe, proving Jonathan’s point I think; could’ve got the better half to jump out at the Market Place for a takeaway, and it’d be cooked, served and eaten by the time I pass the Brewery roundabout!

While I’m rapping on a curry tangent, always thinking about my tucker, Jonathan sees the wider issue, and continues, “this is not a nimby issue, society needs more homes and especially ones that families, single parents, single people or low income families can afford and enjoy. There should be much better provision of low cost quality rental properties too.”

“However new developments need to be well thought out and located where the infrastructure can more than just cope meaning the local road network isn’t gridlocked as a result of mismatched locations or people aren’t waiting weeks to see a GP.”

“From planning experts to local residents – they have all listed the many factors that make these two developments a very poor fit for Devizes and believe that these developments are not suitable.”

Good news all round today, then, common sense prevails in the end, prospective moneybags hold off until the next unjustifiable housing proposal rears its head, me? I got a Chinese takeaway in the end! Yeah, was nice, thanks for asking.

Fox Hunting Suppoter Ploughs into Sab with Car

Just a quick one from me this morning, as I’m at a total loss for words. A video has emerged on Facebook from the Herefordshire Hunt Saboteurs of a host and hunt supporter on the Ladywood Estate, home of the Cottesmore Hunt, running over a sab at high speed. The Sab organisation claim it was deliberate, I personally cannot see how you can possibly deny it anything less.

https://fb.watch/goKC1eWnhd/

Another example of the outrageous behaviour of hunt supporters in an ongoing national series of violent backlashes against groups only protecting wildlife in accordance of the law. Though I know, this is a little outside our area, it is the like we’ve seen at Lacock last Boxing Day, but so off the scale, it needs coverage, to highlight the extreme lengths hunt supporters are willing to go to; it is nothing short of attempted murder.

Aside the obvious that this aggressor should be bought to justice via the compelling evidence, it should stand as a testament to what the sabs have to endure, whether it is verbal abuse and harassment on a daily basis, or bouts of violence. Even if it were true, that the smokescreen of trail hunting are carried out legally, this should be used as a reason to outright ban the whole filthy charade, before someone is killed.

Our thoughts and hearts go out to victim and hope she makes a speedy recovery.

Wiltshire Against the Badger Cull Expresses Outrage as Farmer Buried an Active Badger Sett

Amidst the number of other suspicious, much less futilely brutal activities, in the pursuit of rural blood sports, we’re currently knee-deep in the badger cull, set to run until 2025 at least, and Government’s dodgy bTB eradication policy plans makes hard reading, but who, locally, bothers with licences anyway? Just lob some peanuts, and fire away….

Allow me, doubtful a counterargument will come my way being they usually don’t warrant communication other than hate-mail or vindictive social media comments, an opinion piece on a particular recent incident highlighted by non-profit organisation, Wiltshire Against the Badger Cull; now, let’s dig those claws in, shall we?

You got to laugh, if not cry, when supporters excuse their actions with the argument campaigners know nothing of “country ways.” I beg to differ, I’m sure most live locally too, in rural areas. More likely they know nothing in comprehending just why trigger-happy landowners cannot find humane methods of dealing with so-called pests, which, incidentally, are plentiful. And in that, feel the need to apply a variety of pathetic and wretched smokescreens to justify their thirst for blood. But, you know, I don’t like to mince my words.

So infuriated to hear of this one, and the police’s apparent lack of action towards it, according to the organisation I’ve no reasonable grounds to doubt. I pondered a title of Wiltshire’s Killing Fields, but thought twice, it may be offensive to victims of the genocide in Cambodia. After all, MPs far more intelligent than me, declared animals are not sentient life forms, didn’t they? Though a withdrawal bill to transfer the EU protocol on animal sentience into UK law was narrowly defeated, the jury is out on what the vote meant in practice. Me? I saw a dead cat lying in the road recently, and another cat clearly crying at its side. Make of that what you will, but consider your pet dog, their affection for you is indisputable.  

Anyway, the story goes something like this…. are you sitting awkwardly and about to retch? Then I’ll begin, but warn, some areas of reality here might be distressing.

Monks Farm near Gastard is the setting for our fairy-tale, one dark night when the Wiltshire Against the Badger Cull patrol entered a field there, to cross a footpath close to a badger’s sett. All of a sudden, a shot was heard, the crusaders knew they were too late.

The patrol raced towards the sett, as cull shooters the campaigners called “cowardly,” fled the scene. Myself, I cannot be so judgemental and refuse to name-call, but being they reported they’d “managed to grab the body, and drag it 100m pouring with blood to their vehicle,” through an act where the farmer was “determined to wipe out this sett in his crop field,” even I, non-prude, confessed occasional wasp-killer must acknowledge, it all seems a little Bad Boys to me. The farmer is named in their Facebook post, I like to think he sees himself as Will Smith in some popcorn-munching overdramatic Hollywood trash; “keep my woke do-gooders’ names out of your fucking jokes!”

Wiltshire Against the Badger Cull have been monitoring the sett ever since, and regularly record activity, badgers, as well as his attempts to wipe them out. They watched the surviving badgers playing nearby in his fields often, using their thermal or night-vision cameras right up to Autumn 2021. I’m assuming the field was fallow, being the campaigners state, “with nothing in the field to “protect” (landowners smokescreen excuse to destroy wildlife on their land), we had hoped they would be safe for the winter and in peace to birth their cubs, which occurs between January and March, with cubs remaining underground until April or May.” 

But upon their return in February, and to their horror, the entire field had been deep ploughed ready for planting potatoes. They claimed, “the setts were completely wiped out and nothing of them survived. Undoubtedly the sett was active at the time, as we witnessed on our cameras, even having taken a still photo of them in the field in the October.”

They reported the matter to rural crime team, who discovered the farmer, obviously angry at the badgers for daring to build a home in a corner of his field, and angry at them for having the gall to try to lawfully protect them, had applied to Natural England for permission to interfere with the sett, “to protect crops.” Poppycock is great word to insert at this conjunction, I feel; one can only apply to cull badgers to prevent the spread of Bovine TB in cattle, which opens another pandora’s box I’m sure we’re aware of. There’s little evidence to show this is anyway effective from Bovine TB in cattle, badgers rarely go near cattle, and likely the spread of the virus is from cattle-to-cattle because of bad farming practises.

But this contradiction of the purpose of the cull is besides the point here. Badgers are protected species in the UK, so if they already have an established sett, there is nothing you can do. There are laws in place to protect badgers from coming to harm. According to UK law, you cannot dig for a badger, mistreat a badger, allow or provoke a dog to enter a badger sett, disturb or block access to a badger sett, nor intentionally take, injure or kill a badger; so there it is. Wiltshire Against the Badger Cull claim “the truth is they just want them off their land, because it’s ingrained in them that they can do as they please on their land.”

I find myself wondering just how much damage to acres of crop can one badger sett possibly do? I mean, really, are they likely to invite their badger friends to an illegal rave on your land, are they football hooligan badgers prospectively out to cause trouble? “Come on you black and whites!”

This was a breach of the licence, clearly, as Wiltshire Against the Badger Cull explain, “the licence does not allow him to destroy an active sett, nor cause suffering to a protected animal. In this case the undoubted suffocation of badgers and their cubs as they slept during daylight whilst he ploughed. The former 11+ healthy active entrances which we originally surveyed some years ago, have never to this date reappeared.”

Badgers are an endangered species, uncontrolled destruction of them will wipe them out for good, that’s why I’m relaying these claims, and not to upset those in the agricultural industry. There are methods to protect crops, better fences lying further below the surface than badgers can burrow, use natural repellents, or motion sensor floodlights.  

Every fairy-tale needs a happy ending, and the group said, “a couple of months ago, we were delighted to find a new active entrance not far away from the former sett, and finding what is clearly a survivor from the wiped-out clan, we captured some beautiful video, proving the sett to be active.  We once again asked the rural crime team to investigate, and also contacted Natural England as did the police.”

But the twist comes thus, “we are saddened to report that the case has been closed with no action taken, and once again the criminal slaughter of our wildlife goes unpunished. This is why so many people take the matter into their own hands, because we cannot rely on the law, or even those paid to uphold it.”

Wiltshire Against the Badger Cull ask for help in the field, or if not, consider making a donation to their fuel and equipment fund, or just buy them a coffee. They conclude, “we note no licences for this year’s cull have yet been published, but we know shooters are in fields still killing our badgers every night through the last six weeks, and although this year’s cull is beginning to draw to a close, we are still out filming and watching our stripy friends and will continue to do so until this whole murderous chapter is finally brought to an end.”

Myself, as a nocturnal worker, badgers pass me by, we keep ourselves to ourselves to be honest, they can have a little growl at me from time-to-time, maybe I get too close to their sett, and that’s understandable. But in all, I have a little banter at the way they waddle, and generally call them out for their chubby bottoms when they run off! Still, the last thing I want is to see my work buddies shot, and possibly become extinct.

Therefore, hats off to Wiltshire Against the Badger Cull for the work they do, and though I don’t understand quite why police have failed to prosecute, likely the lack of evidence excuse, if they don’t go investigating these things, as ol’ PCC Wilko Cobra Kai seems prominent in stamping out hare coursing but vauge on fox hunting, they never will have a case, now will they? Much of this opinion piece is based upon the words of the campaign group, I’ll give you this much, but consider Wiltshire Police, in their special measures, hardly appear to be proactive in abiding to the law against blood sports. I’ll leave you with this recent photo, to remind you, and for you to make your own mind up, but ask, if Swindon and Oxford football hooligans clashed, would you send an active supporter of either team to police it?!

Bishop’s Cannings Crown Forced to Cancel Events

You’d be forgiven for assuming The Crown at Bishop’s Cannings desire a gothic exodus of drugged and depraved heathens sacrificing virgins into a hellfire den of iniquity on a daily basis, if you believe the pitches of complaints by a sole villager. When, in reality, all that’s really happening is the occasional small gathering with some music, lasting only until a respectable hour.

If the pitchforks at dawn is beggar’s belief, Wiltshire Council’s undemocratic decision to restrict the licence to a mere five events a year is the stuff of inequitable despotism, and they should try applying Mr Spock logic that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Far from me to suggest this one objector has some kind of association with Wiltshire Councillors, but the thought is.

And it is a need, for many, living in an area hardly Ayia Napa. Without a hub of a community what’s left, rows of houses of slouching mindless hermits masticating on a Lidl bag of Cheesy Puffs, relying on ITV broadcasting a new series of Love Island?

Seriously, does this look anything like a den of iniquity to you?!

The endgame is the village loses a charity fundraising pub, and employer, likely in favour for a Facebook page, for that’s the reality. Tempting me to hold my position in the debate in the key of Harry Enfield’s Angry Frank character, “is that what you want, cos that’s what’ll happen?!” There are enough villages around here where their local pub is badly managed, offers little in the way of community spirit and help, ergo Bishop’s Cannings should be grateful for what the landlords Gary, Jazzy and Chi have achieved. But the key point here is, most of the villagers are.

On Facebook, folk have gathered in support of the Crown upon announcing the cancelation of their next live music date, set for October 4th, leaving villagers disheartened, charities they were fundraising for and the musicians out of pocket, all thanks to one person who couldn’t compromise on a single night’s full beauty sleep; a real player in the spirit of community. I’m not suggesting they were a pioneering acid house DJ in the heady warehouse rave era, but ponder they must’ve, at some point in their life, held the basic desire to have fun, surely?!

The musicians who’ve played there have also rallied in support of the Crown, Liam Woolford on Plan of Action said, “this is an outstanding pub with some of the best landlords we have the pleasure to deal with, Jazzy has said it nail on the head, with hard times ahead for pubs etc we need to support these businesses otherwise they won’t be around much longer, such a shame one individual thinks they can ruin that.”

This guy, Illingworth, entertaining the crowds, clearly off his nut on Tizer!

Tunnel Rat Studios, who organised the music at CrownFest this summer said, “Jazzy Gary and Che have turned the Crown around to be the best music venue in Wiltshire. All the hard work putting on shows over last summer raising much needed funds for local and national charities.”

And Derrick Jepson, frontman of Paradox got virtually primeval with his thoughts, “you have been exemplary in your reserve and calm when there are those around you who seem hellbent on closing you down for trying your level best to make something fantastic that serves the musicians of this world who only want to perform their art form and express themselves in a manner that dates back since the dawn of time.”

Look at these lot, why don’t you? Clearly Satanists!

When this summer saw CrownFest I’d be so bold as to suggest this was the local event of the year, at least in my top five, hospitable and well-organised, with a variety of volume-controlled music hardly constituting a thrash metal anarchist’s ball. Though it might not be Glastonbury, the weight of whinging is near equal, a wrangle Michael Eavis regularly solved by going ahead regardless and paying the fine, an option not viable when hosting the kind of small affair, the proposed gigs at The Crown hope to do.

All this in a weekend where Wiltshire Police shut down an illegal rave at the nearby village of Great Cheverall, evoking my questioning; if you cannot be allowed to organise a music event through official channels, what choices are to be made by people who simply want entertainment? If the authorities don’t wish for a repeat of the nineties, maybe they should consider a compromise.

In a word it is a shame, a crying shame that one tiny and equally petty groupuscule can kick up such a fuss about such a storm in a teacup. The best thing The Crown can do is, when the occasion allows, hold the best party, like, ever!

Trending….

Devizine 5th Birthday!

Right then you lot, Devizine is five years old today, or at least it was when I begun this monumental mission of reminiscing on how, why and what the hell I was thinking when I started it in the first place. Question is, do you want the short story, or the long, drawn-out one?

Oh well, that’s just tough luck then, isn’t it?! You can’t stop me in full shit stream, because, everyone’s good at something, mine is endlessly waffling on about crap, so that’s what I’m going to do. In the words of the unforgettable Lesley Gore, it’s my party I can waffle on about crap if I want to, or something like that.

In consolation, I’ve sprinkled this piece with a lot of lovely photos, well, it’s been five years and we’ve a lot to show off about. And what a wonderful ride it’s been; dancing, dodging, meeting so many wonderful and talented people, rattling a few cages, and I hope it will continue to be so, if I do say so myself.

Best, if any, place to start is childhood aspirations. Note, I never had any dreams of writing, let alone journalism. English at school was a pet hate, like every other subject, especially spelling, I was atrochous…… atreechois…. really bad at it.

Though I have to humour the media industry, I’d grow to detest Fleet Street wank-stains. To be a cartoonist was the thing for me, the like of Charles Schultz or Jim Davis favourably, they did, after all, make the most money. But I’d write for magazines, zines and FINs I submitted cartoon strips for in support, because they needed writers…. bloody slave drivers.

As time moved on and I created my own comic, reviewing works of other creative types within it was an aid to networking, and, most importantly, getting freebies. I also suffered with a lack of writers but plenty of artists, so I’d script for them, and gradually the writing took prominence over the artwork.

Self-publishing is a labour of love, and any excuse for procrastination was on the cards. Unpredictably stumbling upon family life was the perfect excuse for giving it up; there were nappies which needed changing before cross-hatching a nudy caricature of Cameron Diaz, and besides, I’d grown out of the psychedelic nature of the zine; fatherhood can change a lad. Word of warning, whippersnappers.

But once bitten, the creative cannot help but create, that’s why they call them creatives, see? I picked self-publishing up again when eBooks came around, as it was easy, and not so time consuming. As an author I spaffed out more books than Boris Johnson did lies, happy as a method of improving my writing skills; though it’s still a learning cuve…. curth… bendy thing. And okay, that’s the same joke, get used to it.

Devizine came about simply for looking at other avenues in which to offload my wobbly words to the unfortunate world. I pitched to satirical, (or “fake news,” to gammons of which satire is above their understanding) websites, but was only sporadically successful, even lesser-so my attempt to create my own satirical website, called Poop Scoop. Until I noticed a new local news-site called Index;Wiltshire. There, finally through this insane waffling lies the kingpin to Devizine.

The editor wrote to me, “you’re the most powerful person in Devizes,” as my weekly rant column amassed a thousandfold more hits than MP James Gray’s did. Dishonest flattery works; I marched on, slagging off everything that was shit about Devizes as I could possibly think of, for humorous effect, you understand? Some didn’t, and Monday morning hate-mail filled my inbox, which was amusing to start with but being grew tedious.

Aside common complaints from any medium-sized market town, the joke wore thin due to decreasing ammo. Devizes is actually a great place to live; could be better, like freewheeling Frome, or like Tijuana, the murder capital of the world, it could be worse. The need to keep the ideas flowing caused me to post a gathering material question on a local Facebook group. It was Jemma Brown who raised the most important point: why didn’t I focus on the positives about living in Devizes? Of course, she was bang on the money, but it simply wouldn’t do, for that’s not the nature of satire, that’s not the idea of “No Surprises Living in Devizes.”

At the time, I’d just crawled out from my hermit hole and seen for myself talent lurking in the mists of this Tory haven. Richie Triangle played The Black Swan, spurring me to meet Tamsin Quin, who was crowdfunding for a debut album. Jemma, naturally was aiming my attention to her productions, as the TITCO theatre company. I wrote of my findings in an ever-increasingly heavily edited version of my rant column, claiming I was spinning the negatives around, though it was lagging in ethos, because to know me is to know I’m happy-go-lucky, and I couldn’t keep the pretence of being some kind of left-wing Alf Garnett any longer.

The column suddenly became more about what events were forthcoming in Devizes, rather then ranting about how rubbish everything was. I think at one point I joked, “what do I look like, some kind of event guide now?!” Not realising I’d predicted the outcome.

Frustrated the column was so heavily edited, now a new editor took over, I took to publishing them on a personal blog, but blogs need love and attention, in other words shameless self-promotion. Devizine though, as I came to knock up a new blog with the idea of doing precisely what we do now, promotes itself, as featured creative types share the fact they’ve been featured, and generally, people seemed to flock to this gap in the market. The first ever article was an unedited version of the that week’s column, the second was about Tamsin’s Crowdfunder.

I never understood, and probably never will, why aside perpetual splashes on national news stories as an aid to fund submissions to scoop sites, regional newspapers here couldn’t at least mention, or give credit to all the talented people here too. There’s room in a newspaper for both surely? But their downfall is our triumph. Devizine is now the go-to to what to do, the rest of it is me just mucking about!

This, coupled with our policy of brute honesty, will always be why Devizine has become something of a (slightly) respectable local institution. Though it may not have started out this way, because a few who were supposed to be responsible for what’s on sections of local media outlets fell short of lifting a finger, and thought it better to sought to trash Devizine’s pending reputation. Funny world, I thought Devizine would be welcomed, and I opened, and still do, my arms to the chances to work with them regardless; c’est la vie.

I believe it’s levelled now. Hardly anyone posts on local Facebook groups, “any live music going on tonight?” And if they do, rather than being directed to Devizine by yours truly, someone else beats me to the recommendation. Which brings me nicely on to the ten zillion quintillion thank you accreditations.

For aside my waffling, the bulk of this article is nothing more than a tedious clip show, which has taken longer to load up than I planned, probably be the sixth birthday by the time I publish it! Maybe we’ll refer to it as a “photo gallery in dial-up connection speed!”

Cider in one hand trying applause without spillages, my photography skills are best avoided whenever possible. Though I do believe I’m getting better, nothing illustrates a review better than a professional or semi-pro photographer. We’ve used and abused so many, and other than Nick Padmore, who makes me sit on his knee, most of them allow us to use their wonderful snaps for free! Which is handy, cos Devizine has not made millionaires out of us, quite yet.

So, a massive thank you, which would deserve a huge hug, if I wasn’t to wonder if that was a zoom lens in their pockets, rather than them being pleased to see me, and also an apology, there’s so many photos here it’d be a minefield wracking my miniscule mind recalling who took what, so excuse me, I hope that you don’t mind, I’ve not been able to credit them individually. Take it as red, though, the out of focus ones are likely from me. The rest I owe to so many photographers, some mentioned here and now: Gail Foster, Nick Padmore, Simon Folkard, Helen PolarPix, Ruth Wordly, Matthew Hennessy, Abbie Asadi, and Chris Dunn of Inscope Design. Please give them a virtual applause and go check out their work via their websites and social media.

But everyone needs a thank you, don’t they? So many good people have come to my rescue, submitted reviews, scoops and content, to make Devizine both comprehensive, and how I see it; a community-led, erm, thingy. I’d appreciate any help I can get, I’m totally overloaded here, and apologise to things I’ve missed, but Mrs Miggins has to get her pint of semi, also. You know you run a what’s on guide when Facebook pings the notification, “you have 55 events this weekend!”

Sporadically then writers have contributed, and I have Ian Diddams, Jemma Brown, TD Rose, Jenny Dalton, Phil Bradley, and Helen Robertson to sincerely thank too. But none more than our esteemed man in the field, the brilliant Andy Fawthrop, for his constant bombardment of most excellent reviews have been a godsend, to the point we need a statue of the good fellow here, front and centre of the lobby in the prestigious Devizine Towers. Seriously, if I cannot get hold of any marble, though, it might have to be made of paper cups.

All I have to say now is thanks everyone, everyone who has supported us, everyone I missed on the roll-call, contributed in some way, and that’s a long list, folk like the ones who’ve helped us out with technical bobs and bits; Ida McConnell, and musically, Dean Czerwionka, Mike Barham, Cath, Gouldy and the DayBreakers, Clifton Powell and Nick Newman, Daydream Runaways and The Roughcut Rebels.

Or those who’ve given their time to play for us at one of our fundraising gigs, the above mentioned, plus, Chole Jordan, Will Foulstone, Tamsin Quin, Phil Cooper, Jamie R Hawkins, George Wilding, Bryony Cox, Lottie Jenkins, Mirko Pangrazzi, Bran Kerdhynen, Finley Trusler and Sam Bishop.

And I think I’ve waffled enough; sorry if I missed anyone, but they know who they are. Bloody love ’em too, I do; group hug.

Being the Wiltshire Air Ambulance bear, touring homemade breweries, the Palace cinema, spending a day with Clifton Powell with Arts Together, going behind the scenes with DOCA, a day on tour with Talk in Code, press screening of Follow the Crows, riding an E-bike with Sustainable Devizes, meeting Neville Staple backstage, plus all the event invites, and so much more my brain is aching, there’s been so many fond memories, but I think, if you had to ask me to pick just one, it’d have to be the time I did my milk round in my Spiderman onesie and met with Carmela Chillery-Watson and her lovely family. A day I’ll never forget.

It leaves me now, to sign off, you must be tired looking at all those people having fun, but I did pre-warn you about my waffling! Enjoy the remaining pictures in our picture show, maybe you’ve spotted yourself in there, five or less years younger. If so, I want you to know, you’re still that gorgeous, gorgeous for showing us your support and partying with us; here’s to another five years, gorgeous!!

Trivia: What is the most popular article on Devizine to-date?

A: The April Fools Day joke 2021, when I announced, McDonalds was coming to Devizes. I believe that one broke the internet! Sad, but true.

Trivia: When did you first force Andy Fawthrop against his will and better judgement, to write reviews?

A: I believe it was October 2018, and the first review was Joe Hicks at the Three Crowns; I maybe wrong, I often am.

Trivia: Who was that country looking gent who used mascot on Devizine?

A: I don’t know, stop hassling me with inane questions like a fanboy at a Star Trek convention!

Big Events Like Confetti Battle are Great for Devizes, But Where Can the Disabled Park?

I believe I speak for most of us, when I say we all love that Devizes punches above its weight when it comes to hosting some grand universal events, such as yesterday’s historic, if bizarre local ritual, Confetti Battle. DOCA and others, such as the Devizes Food & Drink Festival, use the Market Place to be exactly what it was intended for, free social gatherings. They take a lot of organising, and are open to everyone to enjoy, or are they?

When the parking places in Market Place are occupied by an event and carparking is closed there, there is no provision or replacement for the absence of disabled bays, and a lack of them causes some disabled people to be unable to attend.

I spoke to Claire, who is disabled and lives in Devizes. Claire would’ve liked to attend the Confetti Battle this year, “I would like to attend Christmas events too,” she said, “but there is no option for disabled people to park.”

“I do appreciate how hard people work to make our lovely town fun,” Claire expressed, “but I had to miss last night because there was nowhere close enough to park.”

I must confess, in promoting our events I hadn’t stopped to consider this, and would like to be clear, this is, I suspect, an oversight on Devizes Town Council’s part. Therefore, I’m not out to point fingers and play the blame game, (ha, not this time!) rather to suggest some provision is introduced so when disabled bays are closed for events, suitable temporary bays can be created specifically for disabled badge-holders. “Even if one extra disabled person could enjoy the events,” Claire stated, “this will make a difference to someone’s life, rather waiting to see it all in Facebook, which is what I do.”

This is unfortunate and unfair, certainly unintentional, but I’m confident with some awareness spreading it’s easily resolved. I’d be interested to hear any town councillor’s views on this, their feedback would be helpful; hey, no, their feedback is essential! I will call out ignorance on the issue if not, (they know that by now!)

No large-scale event goes ahead without meeting requirements for the disabled, simple as. I’d suggest perhaps arranging a booking-in system so a specific number of parking bays can be reserved, this way everyone with a blue badge who wants to attend can, and needless spaces wouldn’t be used as disabled bays. That would take one DTC admin and one spreadsheet five minutes to produce.

“These events should be for all,” Claire asked me, “wouldn’t you agree?” That doesn’t need answering, Claire, not from me I’m afraid, I’m with you fully, and I’m here to pitch the same question to the powers that be. Perhaps there is some provision already in place that we don’t know of, but I’m happy to publish any such answer too.

I’m aware Wiltshire Council is introducing paying for disabled parking in their carparks, but that is a different topic for another time, don’t even get me started on that. We’re here today to assume something as simple as allowing space for disabled folk to accessibly park to be able to enjoy the events as we do, be resolved. Whether or not they have to pay for that space is the responsibility of Wiltshire Council, who, to be honest, I’m at my tethers end with anyway.

“I had to cancel plans this weekend in town,” Claire continued, “because I couldn’t park close enough. Not even close enough to get to the pharmacy, so I went without my pain relief.” We await your response with thanks, Devizes Town Council.

Click to buy Vol 2 of our compilation album; all proceeds go to Julia’s House

Trending….

Mantonfest 2024

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Shut the Front Door and Catch a Bus Month with Wiltshire Council!

The lunacy, much less the audacity to suggest it, of Wiltshire Concillors, and their inability to accept reality, is highlighted in September by the singlemost insane campaign to-date; Catch a Bus Month.

“A double-decker bus can take up to 75 cars off the road and switching just one journey in 25 to the bus would save two million tonnes of CO2 emissions,” the article on their website begins, because everyone in Wiltshire has been waiting for them to tell them this.

Assuming it’s us neglecting environmental concerns as the reason we don’t take the bus, as opposed to the utterly appalling and unaffordable service available to us, in their infinite wisdom they’ve invented “Catch the Bus Month,” where “Wiltshire Council is taking part to encourage more people to change their travel habits by taking the bus and celebrate it as a sustainable, inclusive and accessible form of transport.” Seriously promoting this hairbrained scheme on social media seemingly without the foggiest notion of the backlash of criticism anyone with a working brain cell would’ve forseen.

A flourish of negative responses errupted, some stating how their village bus service was cut, others complaining it’s simply not affordable or accessible. Others telling stories of being thrown off buses before their stop to make way for other passengers, being rudely addressed by drivers and their issues not being dealt with by the bus companies.

Personally I’ve found bus drivers of extremities, they’re either exceptionally happy and willing to please, or grumpy as sin; there is no middle-ground. One once sped off before I could get my daughter seated, and her pushchair collapsed in time, a toddler at the time, resulting in her hitting her head. My complaint fell on deaf ears. Now they’re at senior school the bus fee would be over a thousand pounds each, annually; a journey I can drive for far less. And that is the unfortunate reality.

Everyone knows if you’re relying on the local bus service you’re best taking a tent, and for shift workers the bus simply wouldn’t get them to work on time, even if they were reliable to turn up. Forgo reliability for a second and consider the timetable, imagine a night bus, but keep your disillusionment, most stop running by 5pm at the latest; everybody, tea and time for bed.

“The Department or Transport’s (DfT) National Bus Strategy requires local authorities to form enhanced legal partnerships with bus operator,” it says, “and the council is working on a Bus Service Improvement Plan (BSIP) to achieve a vision for a better bus network.”

Cllr Laura Mayes, Deputy Leader of Wiltshire Council, said: “We’re delighted to be working in partnership with the bus companies with a combined aim of increasing usage and improving the service across Wiltshire.”

Here’s a thought, and it is just a thought, then, not that I’m the expert, but how about Wiltshire Council actually improve the service first, then have this “celebratory” Catch the Bus Month when it’s done and it’s actually reasonable and affordable to catch the damn things?! Unless, of course, you’re collecting laughing emojis on your social media posts… I know I am, but that’s intentional.

Catch the bus month, oh, my years. It’s Wiltshire Council who need to take a bus journey, to another county, and see how much better they’re doing!

Waxin’ the Palace; Chatting to the Man Who Convinced Wiltshire Council to Have a Rave!

All the local mainstream are on it like a fly on a turd, and the negativity of keyboard warriors is flowing fast and furious. Who am I to steer off the bandwagon, yet you know we’ll handle the news Wax Palace obtained permission for a “rave festival” to happen near Erlestoke with a slightly different angle……

An angle much less based upon the fact your esteemed editor had a youth some indeterminable time yonder, where he gyrated in muddy fields with eyes like saucers, masticating the shit out of a Wrigley’s Doublemint, and more on the notion, I hope, that while we have a great music scene in these backwaters, there is little to tickle our younger resident’s tastebuds. This then, is great news, surely?

But is raving still a progressive thing, or does it dabble largely in retrospection? And what exactly will this Wax Palace provide in the way of entertainment? Harry, one of the organisers, a man who unbelievably convinced Wiltshire Council, conservative at the best of times, to grant them permission to hold what’s best described, to avoid media confusion, as a “rave festival;” can he sell ice to Eskimos, or what?! In a short chat with him, I suspected he could.

He giggled at the question, “we’d do our best, that’s for sure! It’s been a bit of a task, but we got it through, and they seemed very with it, during the hearing.” Throughout Harry projected himself as level-headed, reliably assured of the achievement of Kaleidoscope, the name of the event.

The first myth from the Gazette’s report to dispel is that these guys are bundling down from Yorkshire to ruin our peaceful community, when Harry explained the company is only registered there, and he lives close to Erlestoke himself. “The group who first run it were students in Leeds,” he explained, “but we’re very much Wiltshire born and bred.” Herewith the reason for bringing it to Devizes.

Promoting this today is neither here nor there, they’ve a solid base and early bird tickets have already sold out for the estimated 800 strong event. “This is our third edition of the festival,” he said with me interrupting about how to define it, “it is very much a festival, but we hope it has the apogee of a rave, though licenced, as the articles have focused on. It started as one night event, next time it was two, now we’ve got the full weekend, and our largest line-up yet.”

To spoil my queries of disambiguation, musically, Kaleidoscope will offer the whole range of rave subgenres, from house and disco to techno to drum & bass; “you name it will be there!” But this only got me pondering the setup, if it would, as legendary pay-raves like Universe’s Tribal Gatherings once attempted, to host each subgenre in a different tent. Because much as this appeased the then evolution of the diversity, it tended to clash into one immense noise when central! “We don’t have genre-split tents,” Harry clarified, “they’re split more-so by their set design. We’ve got three stages, one indoors, another outdoor, in which we’re shaping out an old school bus for the DJ’s, which should be really fun.”

Harry jested jealously at me rapping about raves of yore like Universe, “we missed that golden era, but we very much like to be inspired by the ethos.” This is great, though I’m trying to avoid an Uncle Albert moment where I preach on memory lane, but it does bring to question how niche is the market, does Harry think rave is either coming back, or it never really lost its appeal?

“I think it is coming back, commercially, perhaps it did lose a bit of what it was meant to be. In the last few years, I’ve heard people referring to their club nights as raves. I think the term rave now covers something broader and less political than it did, originally.” Harry hopes it does come back, encouraged to bring back those original values.

Though I’d suggest, rave was apolitical, it wasn’t until government interjected with the Justice Bill post-Castlemorton which both forced it underground and for ravers to think politically. Originally it was solely a celebration of life, and to party, and that really was our only objective. Which neatly covers another misconception; we raved everywhere and anywhere, if it meant standing in a muddy field, or if it meant going clubbing, location was irrelevant, so long as we could blow off steam and dance!

And herein lies my pitch at why I think this is a fantastic addition to our local events, because if you’re the first to complain about this, I sure hope you’re not the same one whinging about acts of anti-social behaviour in youth culture. If Wax Palace can provide a safe haven for young to go and enjoy themselves, it’s surely a positive.

Wiltshire Council were keen to label this a festival rather than a rave, as rave connotes to some to be an illegal, uncontrolled gathering. I say, this is the name of the genre, and doesn’t relate to illegal gatherings at all. After the Justice Bill the scene became anarchistic in frustration to the restrictions, but it never began like this. There was a sense of one big family, a tribal movement, and it was all about smiles. This, I feel is an important point to reduce this common misconception, and something Harry was also keen to express. “We’ve worked really hard to build a real sense of community,” he explained.

Today, of course, the original ravers have come of age, and organisations like Raver Tots have marketed retrospection in the form of taking your kids to a rave, but throughout our chat I got the feeling the ethos of Wax Palace was much more progressive, about introducing “rave; the next generation,” and that’s good to hear. “We like the idea through the way we organise events and our approach will introduce the idea of raving to a market who are only just coming to an age where they’re able to go to clubs. So, it’s nice to think we have the chance in shaping that impression they have. For a lot of people, this could be their first music festival, and for it to be local and described as a rave would be really exciting; exactly what I’d wish I’d have had in my village when I was 18.”

Tickets are here, Kaleidoscope takes place from 2nd-5th September.

Avoid negativity of misconceptions bought about by a bygone era, well organised and safe pay raves have happened since day dot, and providing youth with entertainment is paramount to building bridges; Wax Place, I salute you!

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Daisy Chapman Took Flight

Okay, so, if I praised the Bradford Roots Festival last weekend and claimed to have had a fantastic time, it’s all as true as Harrison…

New Nothing Rhymes With Orange Single

Friday is over, I’m a day late to the party, but there’s a new single from Devizes-own Nothing Rhymes With Orange, and you’ve not heard…

Black Uhuru UK Tour Cancelled; The Plight of International Touring Post-Brexit

“They can get no time to press,
Because of all the distress that the society leads. What I’m a longing for is some happiness,”

Black Uhuru “Happiness.”

Frome’s Cheese & Grain today annouced the booking of The Counterfeit Beatles in November, which is all fine and dandy, but yesterday it sadly had to notify ticket holders for next month’s appearance of legendary reggae band Black Uhuru that the show had been cancelled.

In fact, after numerous postponements, the entite UK leg of the tour has been axed, due to a backlog in visas. The Cheese & Grain expressed their sorrow, explaining they’ve “been assured that the band and their representatives have tried everything in their power to make this work, but unfortunately there is now no option but to cancel this show.”

Kinda reminded me of my favourite upcoming ska band, Girls Go Ska, from Mexico, proudly posting their European tour dates on Facebook, without a single date on England’s green and pleasent land. I commented, “I wish you could come to England.” And though the South America ska scene developed separately from the retrospective niche of Two-Tone here, the girls are fully aware of our nation’s importance within the roots of international ska, and replied with sad emoji, “so do we.”

Now the tour is reality, all I get is fantastic looking video clips from Germany, of crowds enjoying the pinnacle of contemporary South American ska, when I’ve no hope in hell of ever seeing them live.

Not to moan too much about the divided issue, and as much as I enjoy a Beatles tribute, I have to ponder, is this what Brexit Britain has become? Barricaded in from outside influence, regurgitating archived moments of British achievements in the form of tribute acts, much less, extremely unlikely for upcoming UK artists to export their wares in the same method the flagwaving-idolised achievers of yore once did?

Ironic in considering if we had Brexit in the sixties, we wouldn’t have had The Beatles. Derry and the Seniors were doing well in Hamburg for booking agent, Allan Williams, whilst the young skiffle band on his books, who had recently rebranded from The Quarrymen were paltry amateurs, lost amidst the flooded market of the Merseybeat circuit. So Williams sent the young hopefuls on a similar path, to Hamburg, and what came out the other end was the greatest band ever; every gammon wave your union jack now.

Everything about the Beatles was honed and shaped in Germany, from their performance skills, their association with Brian Epstein, and even the famed hair-do. The ability for UK musicians to tour other countries, particularly in Europe was paramount in shaping pop music, and equally, from Buddy Holly to Kraftwerk, the influence of international acts touring the UK.

I have to tip my hat to Frome’s Cheese and Grain, how such an average sized Somerset town can attract the standard of act usually reserved for cities. On Beatles, the venue has built the kind of reputation whereby Paul McCartney will pitstop for an intimate gig on his way to Glastonbury. But for want of an influx of international artists seems reserved for megastars on the Springsteen level, of which you need a stadium-sized venue, and you’d need to morgage your home for a ticket.

Longleat hosted a Diana Ross concert, and a number of other household names this summer, in the kind of conservative thinktank arrangement which took an average three hundred notes off each punter then told them they couldn’t bring in a folding chair. As if anyone who had amassed that kind of wealth to wantingly throw three hundred quid at one gig, and who would be eager to see a heronie of 55 years past would be of a suitable age to stand like a teenager for four hours; you can bet your bottom dollar a few deckchair hire conpanies rubbed their hands together that night. The young get tetchy when being herded like cattle, I can only imagine the disappointment from their elders.

Live music is big business, I get that, the hospitality industry was bought to it’s knees through lockdown, I get that too, but relaying the deficit onto the punter will not bring a stream of genuine fans, it will only bring an inequality culture of those who can afford to will, those who can’t have to suck it up.

But it’s not just about way to go to whack up the price of a Womad ticket, but more about the missed opportunities for amateur and semi-professional artists to export their talent further afield. What’s the point of extending a reputation internationally online, if you cannot follow it up by appearing live without an unaffordable bill, a financial advisor and a year’s worth of paperwork to fill in just to take a tambourine on a continental flight?

And what do we get in return for this supposed will of the people? An oil rig dragged into Weston-super-Mud and decorated with taxpayer’s much needed banknotes to resemble a pathetic play on words, “See Monster.” Yes, I do see a monster, as I swig from my crown embossed pint margo, pointlessly waving my blue pissport; it’s stranded us on this island with a bunch of self-serving, ignorant bastards.

Best we can do right now, is support the little man, to show our love and support to the burgeoning DIY ethos promoting local live music. This is where fervour remains, in the enthusiasm of imending talent, and pray for a better day when the red tape of
welcoming international acts will be cut.

Citizen’s Advice’s Plea for Funding From Local Councils as Wiltshire Council Slash Their Budget

Do you take Citizen’s Advice for granted? For many it’s a lifeline, the first port of call for any issues rising from legal, debt, consumer, and housing, yet Wiltshire Council has slashed £100k off its funding, about one-third of their budget. Makes you wonder why they ever dropped their slogan, “where everybody matters,” really, doesn’t it?!

The independent organisation has been rallying local town and parish councils for support. A spokesman from Citizen’s Advice was heard at the Devizes Town Council Committee Meeting on Tuesday 16th August, to plea for financial help.

The trade publication Third Sector states around 60% of Citizens Advice funding comes from government sources, but Citron contends there’s tension between Citizens Advice and the government, because while the charity relies on government funding to survive, it’s most effective as a high-profile critic of government policy. As if the government has any policies worthy of criticism! But cuts like these forces the bureau to seek much more funding from other sources. Locally, they’re approaching major towns and parishes for support.

As well as rising prices, Devizes Town Council explained the spokesperson was keen to point out this was “unfortunate in timing as they anticipated a rash of applications for help when the next raise in energy caps occurs, as well as coping with the other challenges of inflation.”

Councillor Ian Hopkins rightfully criticised the savagery of the cut and the timing, suggesting the town council “were not the authority to whom they should be appealing but, in suggestion a more rational approach, suggested an application in the autumn, prior to budget setting.”

Our local branch is situated in New Park Street, yet serves a wider community across villages and other local towns, so, Councillor Burton’s enquiry if funds would be spent on supporting Devizes people only could not be reassured by the spokesperson. She did however confirm they had received some responses offering various sums.

Councillor Hunter asked whether any other of their services could be redirected back to Wiltshire Council or other agencies. The representative confirmed that Age UK has been supportive but CAB remains the first port of call during which they hope to empower clients to follow up themselves, leaving it unlikely that Wiltshire Council would be impacted.

There was a surge amidst Devizes Town Council of favouring grants which would be kept for local use, but the councillor Hopkins suggested that £1,500 should be given, pending a more formal application for better funds, a proposal that was carried unanimously.

So, well done DTC, you’re officially in my good books (were you ever not, you need ask?!) No, really, I’ve applied some Lynx Africa and I’m coming in for a group hug, asap! Citizens Advise is a sustenance for so many, providing free advice and help is essential even more in this day and age, yet it’s a sad reality of a failing government when Citizen’s Advise needs its own advice on how to fund itself.

Trending….

Learn the Art of Chocolate with HollyChocs 

Devizes-based chocolate engineer Holly Garner, 2023 Chocolate Champion for the Southwest, has launched her new chocolate classes for the first half of 2024…… From learning…

Richard Wileman on the Forked Road

Fashionably late for the party, apologies, the fellow I’m not sure if he minds me calling “the Mike Oldfield of Swindon,” though it’s meant as…

Lego Club at Devizes Library Announced

Everything is looking awesome at Devizes Library as they announce the Lego Club for six to twelve year olds will begin on Saturday 27th January!…

Weird, I Find Myself Agreeing With Danny Kruger Over Station Road Carpark Closure!

It’s quite alright, you’ve not entered the Upside Down from Stranger Things, or another theoretical parallel universe. Station Road carpark in Devizes will be closed overnight to cars, effective immediately. MP for Devizes Danny Kruger pushed for this Wiltshire Council order, and in hindsight, I happen to agree with them and wished it had come proir to the terrible incident which spurred the notion….

Wiltshire Council has today (11th August) obtained a Closure Order for the carpark to help prevent anti-social behaviour in the area. It will mean the car park is closed between 6pm and 6am every day for a period of three months, for anyone other than season ticket holders, buses, lorries and coaches.

Cllr Richard Clewer, Leader of Wiltshire Council, said “This will be enforceable by the police, who will be regularly patrolling the area to ensure that people are abiding by the Closure Order.” And yes, that’s the same police force recently put into special measures, red in all areas. One cannot help but think about the word “proactive” here, and perhaps regular monitoring of the carpark should’ve been a priority before said terrible incident.

Sadly, if it has to be, and does what they suggest it will do, “help prevent anti-social behaviour” in the area, then I agree. Yet I cannot help but feel they’re putting a plaster on a severed limb, and this will only push activities elsewhere. Proactive policing, engaging with youth, providing facilities they want, and building trust with them is a better way to deal with the situation than bricking them in.

And no one shrugs at the hypocrisy, where an MP takes a stand on youth crime yet backed a criminal Prime Minister. So you may’ve raked back a few popularity points with the constituency after using your political position to voice your relgious beliefs on abortion, Danny K, but to be honest it doesn’t amount to a hill of beans, really, now does it?!

You’ve Only Got Until Monday to Sound Your Opinion on the Devizes School Land Sell-off

You’ve only got until Monday to sound your opinion on the Devizes School land sell-off, the consultation ends Monday 15th August. Go give your verbal muscle, here, for all it’s worth.

I’m not well-travelled but I did once go to Barbados, where people live in humble breezeblock shacks yet their schools are immaculate. How this system works on such a small island with its eggs only in tourism and sugarcane baskets is beyond me, when we surrive in a so-called developed nation in which our state education system is flawed and failing.

Education is a service, should be funded by taxation, not a flipping business, yet sad reality is so, Federations like White Horse are running them as if they were a business, and I can only point the finger at the Conservative ethos of Parliament, as the buck clearly stops there. The fact a school needs to sell land to repair the building is a shining example, surely?

So if you’re wondering why I haven’t used Devizine to cast a rant-like opinion on the selling of Devizes School land, it’s because, as an individual issue I’m sitting on the fence. But it’s a windswept, broken fence I’m due to fall from, because the rabbit hole is deeper than if they should, or  shouldn’t, sell off land to housing in order to carry out needed repairs of the school and its infrastructure. It goes as deep to suggest it’s part of a bigger, national disaster that we are sadly, failing our children.

Something which has frustrated me long before this niggly local issue, which as we speak is thrown around for political pointscoring on bias local social media groups, in a Boris Johnson era where nothing is sacred, and nothing is off limits. Let’s not debate, rather open new Facebook groups with hidden agendas, and delete valid opinions because they don’t match ours, while our children suffer from this uncaring and wonky shitstem.

There was even a point in all this which made me contemplate that’s my angle, to join the pathetic parade of keyboard warriors, waffling political propaganda for the sake of saving their beloved party in blind faith. But I thought, no, focus should be on those affected, the children.

By selling off the land The White Horse Federation says they hope to “release a significant amount of capital to reinvest into maintaining and modernising school infrastructure; enhancing school and community sports and performing arts facilities; and working more closely with the local community to support better physical, mental and economic well being,” and for that I cannot argue with, if I could trust the Trust as far as I could throw the Trust, to spend it wisely in favour of the children’s education. Then I’d sigh, suppose if it needs to be done, sadly, it needs to be done, and perhaps the loss of conservation is the unfortunate price to pay. It is, after all, a reality of any building project. But hey Joe, did you even know there was a conservation issue? Were residents actually consulted in the expected manner?

It’s come to our attention, once your only chance to be heard runs out on Monday, meetings will be run behind closed doors. It’s suggested there’s definite transparency in this consultation, the Trust accused of explicitly stating at a resident’s meeting they had no plans to sell, when evidently they did.

The White Horse Federation also faces accusations that appropriate organisations and councils have been ill-informed and unable to comment on the website. Residents of Pans Lane, Festival Close and Edward Rd, say they got no letters, and only residents of Nursteed Rd did. With Devizes Town Councillors also saying they’ve not been informed about the conservation issue, it seems the consoltation is not as public as it should be.

No reference has been made by The White Horse Federation to loss of conservation, though we’ve suggestions the matured woodland near the nursery on the Leisure Centre road, which they plan to flatten for cricket nets and softball is home to foxes, deer and badgers.

We sacrifice our town’s green spaces for extended carparking, disturb an established wildlife habitat, possibly for astroturf, and while considering the need for improvements to the school building to better aid the pupil’s education, are these really necessary?

I, for one, am still shaking my head, and would suggest townsfolk require to be better informed. White Horse Federation need to extend this deadline, and invite further public consultation.

Here we have a Federation-run school which reprimanded and punished pupils, by including time spent off self-isolating due to a positive Covid result on their attendance records, when they were only obeying the law. When questioned the headteacher at the time pushed the responsibility onto the Education department, and dared me to contact MP Danny Kruger with a laughing emoji, suggesting I wouldn’t get a response.

Though the last laugh was on them, as Danny knows better than to not respond to me, he only threw the butt back by suggesting the Education Department had no such ruling, I find myself forced to wash hands on the issue. Pushed from pillar to post, I can’t figure out who to believe, and I’m aghast I’m possibly having to take the word of a Tory MP over my own local school! Now, I ask you, does this sound like the type of organisation who has the best interests of the children’s education and wellbeing at heart? There’s butterflies in my stomach, that I’d rather trust Captain Birdseye, because his captain’s table doesn’t sound quite so fishy!

Chippenham MP Boasts about Appearing on Far-Rightwing TV Channel

Being politically correct, a near-naked rotund fellow with obesity issues mopped his greasy body with a sponge, being certain to cleanse all areas by slipping it through the gusset of his swimming trunks. Another moronic daredevil then raised the sponge above his tilted head, opened his mouth and rinsed the contents into his gullet, on a regular section of eighties TV show The Word, called, “I’ll do anything to be on TV.”

I was, as were many others, shocked to see Chippenham MP Michelle Donelan bragging about appearing on the renowned far-right extremist TV channel GB News this week. The dire channel, which dresses up propaganda as ‘news,’ sacked a presenter for condoning a gesture of racial equality and replaced them with Nigel Farage, known nationalist extremist knobjockey who, though might look like Sam the Eagle from the Muppet Show, is far more sinister than him. The man marched with the National Front, the offspring of Oswald Mosley’s British Union of Facists who would’ve taken control of the country if Hitler had’ve won the war, and who addressed a neo-nazi conference in Germany, of which the leader is Hitler’s great granddaughter.

https://fb.watch/eKeEdWFJ8T/

I’m sorry but it doesn’t take a genius to suss out, any media outlet which willingly gives this milkshake-wearing pissant, who would be dangerous if he wasn’t so gullible as to be fooled by the joke name ‘Hugh Janus,’ airtime can only be far-rightwing; I’m not out for you to futility attempt to change my mind on this plain and blatant fact, keyboard warriors, so don’t bother trying.

Credit where it’s due, Michelle responds well to her constituents online, and was there to big-up her wish for Thatcher-infactuated Liz Truss to win the PM race. As if I care at all which unsuitable spanner is hoisted into the toolbox, for what it’s worth, I agree with her choice, as I believe she’ll bring the Conservative Party to their knees far quicker and more effectively than Sunak; we live in hope Labour can rid themselves of their novelty nodding-dog toy and find a respectable and electable replacement in time. As let’s face it, without their worst criminal to wear a clown’s mask since Stephen King’s It at number ten, they’re nothing; if he, his goldigger and taxpayer-funded gold-crested wallpaper ever goes.

But all this is beside the point. That being, Michelle Donelan thought it would be worthy preaching to the converted on national issues, on an extremist TV channel which makes the Daily Fail look like Socialist Worker magazine, rather than address those sitting on the fence in her own constituency; you have to chortle at that much alone. And from it I can only deduce she’s either akin to our dirty sponge-drinking nutcase who will do anything to be on TV, or is a closet facist.

Should it be a case of the latter, I suggest Michelle takes a timeout from local politics to read some world history and finds me an example, from anywhere, from any time, where a far-rightwing philosophy has done anyone, any good, at all. Then returns to the drawing board, remaining faithful to the original Conservative ethos, which is alleged to be middle-of-the-road rightwing, or else feel the wrath of millions of souls who gave their lives to prevent fascism spreading across Europe, as they turn in their graves.

Rowde Parish Council Takes on The Kremlin!

What in the wonderful world of fudge cake is going on here? Aside the appalling attention to primary school grammar, have you ever read such a bizarre Facebook post from a Wiltshire parish council?! Seems like either Rowde Parish Council’s Facebook page has been highjacked by a lone Councillor eager to battle ze Ruskies, Rocky Balboa-style, or the entire council are out to lunch!

It stems from one villager, questioning why the Ukraine flag is flying from their village flagpost, when other invaded country’s flags have not been given the same honour. The opinion comes across rather wonky, I agree this much, only so much space on a flagpole, and in this era where everything sensationised hinges on this one conflict, and refugees of other nations are being shown the door to make way for Ukraine ones instead. When, of course we support the Ukraine refugees and of course we sympathise with their predicament, as we should anyone from any country which has faced such atrocities.

But, this is a tiny Wiltshire village, why has its parish council gone all Tony Blair on us, and taken on the world’s problems when it exists to deliver on local issues, and local issues only?

Would it not have surfficed to just explain to the disgrunted villager the flag is there to show support for the Ukraine refugees, as it should be, and get on with processing farmer Barleymow’s application for a new barn roof, rather than start flaffing on about international politics and picking a side in a conflict which is clearly not as cut and dry as it’s made out to be?

Suggesting the Ukraine was invaded “without provocation” is not only questionable, but is unnecessarily stating which side of the fence a supposedly impartial parish council is on the issue, when there’s no valid reason to cast assertions or get involved at all; that’s the lunacy of the shebang, without regards to the consequences.

Did Putin not threaten to act if we waged retaliation for his invasion? Admittedly he might not be sauntering down Marsh Lane,
browsing Rowde All About It Facebook page, and Russians wouldn’t attack our county anywa….hold on, just got to sneeze… ahhhh-skripallll!…sorry about that, where was I?

Ah yes, it’s a concerning bandwagon to enforce an entire village to jump on, what with a prime minister who willingly handed top secret Nato documents to ex-KGB lieutenant-colonel, Alexander Lebedev, without his security detail or Foreign Office officials, at the height of the Skripal poisoning crisis, hand his son a lifetime peerage in the House of Lords, and still deny Russian money laundering through Londongrad funded Brexit and the Conservative election campaigns despite the Pandora Papers revealling irrefutable evidence it did, because, take a breather…. none of it has anything to do with the day-to-day runnings of a Wiltshire village!

So, a poll is added to the local Facebook group in which 86% said they’re happy to keep the flag flying. All’s fair in love and democracy, I agree with the outcome, but comments flare in a witch hunt for the person who questioned it, calling them a “bully” and the poll even has the option to vote that they’re “unpleasant trouble,” of which a remarkable 1% voted for; could that be our Rocky?! Cue, Eye of the Tiger….

It’s all gone a bit pitchforks at dawn in a sleepy village, in a country of free speech, like a poor man’s reenactment of a Simpsons cartoon.

Forgive me for suggesting it’s neither here nor there for a parish council to involve themselves with international politics, but it does raise a valid point. Rather like Christians wearing a symbolic cross when it’s likely to be the worst symbol Jesus would wish to see if he returned, if I’d been lucky enough to have claimed asylum from escaping a war-torn country, I’d favour facing my new life with a clean sheet, archiving the bad memories, and wouldn’t wish to see the flag of the troubled nation I’d just come from, not in favour for honesty and respect from those around me. But that’s subjective and ill-conceived, thankfully never having to have been in that situation.

In order to fully assess whether flying the Ukraine flag is welcomed by the refugees parhaps actually asking the refugees themselves might be a solution; just a thought. Otherwise, this is isn’t Rowde at all, but Bizarro World!

Sad Day for Melksham Assembly Hall

The stalwart venue of Melksham is being viewed more like just a wart by town councillors, in a sad day which could see the closing curtain for the Assembly Hall.

Melksham News reported on the rumour I’ve been trying to hold back on, hoping the day wouldn’t come, that Melksham Assembly Hall and the Town Hall could be sold off under controversial plans being considered by Melksham Town Council.

More than once, Conservative Councillor Phil Alford contradicts himself in conversation with Melksham News, in the very same sentences!

Here he defends his case by telling the newspaper, “the Assembly Hall needs £400K for refurbishment,” but adds “we should build a new facility.” Is it just me being thick, I mean I’m no building contractor, but wouldn’t building a new facility cost more than repairing the one you’ve got?!

And does it even need this colossal cost for a refurb at all? It looks fine to me as it is, lick of paint, job done. Face it, Melksham, other than a handful of excellent local pubs, like the Pilot and Foresters supplying the town with live music, you’ve hardly any few entertainment venues as it is.

The Assembly Hall is a pillar to the community, with a brilliant programme and variety of events to suit everyone. From top class tribute acts, massive fundraising events such as the legendary Female of the Species gigs, which had to be shifted to Seend, to regular clubs such as the twenty-five year strong Rock n Roll Club drawing crowds from across the country, and even the popular male stripper nights. Perhaps it’s the latter offending Mr Alford; feeling somewhat inferior?!

Has the smokescreen got in your eyes yet? The new campus project has seen closure of the library and historic Blue Pool too; how many eggs does this Councillor want to put in the same basket, I sigh. “We now have a once-in-a-lifetime chance to do something about it,” he continues his pitch, why is it “a once-in-a-lifetime chance?” is there no chance of a backhander in the future?

He said this, He. Actually. Said. This. “Now is the time to be creative, trust residents, decide on a plan and move forward for the benefit of the town,” regardless of the simple fact, next Tuesday’s meeting to decide upon the fate of the hall has the proposal it should be held as a closed session, preventing the press and public from attending. If that’s the best method of involving public opinion then I’m the Queen of Sheba.

It’s begger’s belief how closing a venue would “benefit” a town, but the cavalry comes in the form of independent councillor Jon Hubbard, who told Melksham News, “we don’t know the details of the options yet, but the Assembly Hall is a massive asset to the town.

“It’s one of the largest halls in Wiltshire, there is nothing else that can compete with it in terms of capacity and I think we would be quite mad to even contemplate getting rid of that without replacing it with an equivalent facility.

“All of the plans I have seen have been talking about significantly smaller facilities and Melksham already has a wealth of smaller halls and I see no reason why the town council should invest taxpayers’ money into facilities which will compete with existing assets that the town has.”

Well said Jon, it goes in line with the original rumour circulating, that some councillors wanted the hall to be only for events which they feel benefitted the community, in which case they’re in the wrong job and should be an events coordinator rather than a councillor. The Assembly Hall is the brilliant venue hosting self-propelled events I wish we had here in Devizes. The running at a loss argument is piffle in a peroid of economic decline, they all are unfortunately. Especially when said peroid is a direct result of appalling national decisions of the political party Mr Alford himself supports.

The irony is blinding, but folk have hijacked the Facebook post to express their disappointment and point out the significance of the Assembly Hall. One said, “The Town Hall is the very fibre of this town’s history. Its location at the heart of Market Place is the embodiment of the pride we have for our town. To sell the building for private ownership is beyond conscionable.”

Another said, “The town hall is the focal point for nearly all the town events. Selling it off is 100% short sighted. People travel for miles to see melksham Xmas lights and other events, if the town hall goes we would lose those or they would move to melksham house which doesn’t have the same focus in the town.”

The post is here, you can comment, but I’d advise to take your opinion to Mr Alford himself, his email is: Phil.Alford@wiltshire.gov.uk

Here’s Your Festival of Brexit!

It doesn’t even look like a monster, just a monstrosity, but hey, here’s your Festival of Brexit, then. Ha, and you thought you’d be clinking crown-embossed pint margos with Nigel Farage while Jim Davison comperes a Morrissey concert and Jacob Rees-Mogg piggybacks Pritti Patel in the crowd, waving her Union Jack shirt in the air.…

And so it begins, your only chance in the West Country to benefit from the £120million Festival of Brexit, which, in the name of apparently fairplay to remoaners, has been such an embarrassment to the government they were forced to rename it “Unboxed” and to their hidden horror has been delegated to “leftie” environmentalist artists; you have to laugh or you’ll cry.

Unboxed indeed, Unhinged more like, unhinged from reality. Oh, sorry I’m supposed to “get over it,” and think “positive.”  Everybody stand and stare in awe, at a rusted oil rig, a testament to what we can achieve when we lavish an artist with Great British taxpayer’s money. Don’t get me wrong, I’m an art lover, just like to keep things in perspective while my artist friends cut the crusts off their kid’s sandwiches and have that for their lunch.

Until the time they scrap our human rights, so it’s Rwanda or bust for Johnny Foreigner, I reserve my right to criticism, thanks all the same.

Rather than restore Weston Super Mare’s Tropicana to its former glory, you know, giving it actual use, maybe a sequel to Banksy’s Dismaland would’ve been more apt than employing Dutch companies to hoist in a rusty oil rig, and for just a couple of months, provided they don’t max their budget, add some trees atop and create an artificial waterfall so we can wave our blue passports at it and cheer for Great Britain’s world-leading climate change policies.

See Monster, yeah we can do that already, at the public galleries of the House of Commons. Apparently, once we’ve taken out a loan to fill our cars with petrol and driven down there, See Monster will have us discussing climate change. We’ve known about it since the late 19th century, been talking about it for sixty plus years; you’d have thought some action might be more appropriate.

Why not have taken that £120 million and invested it in companies creating sustainable alternatives? At least then we could say we tried, rather than watch the polar icecaps melt and flood over Weston Super-Mud, putting an old rig we all thought would make a difference, back out at sea. You know, just a thought. Looks great though, really; can’t wait.

Top Marks For CrownFest

Sitting by a controversially purple outside bar, contemplating my debatable definition of the term “festival,” yesterday in Bishop’s Cannings, while Freddie Mercury sauntered past and the sun toasted me another shade closer to “calypso berry” on the Dulux colour chart… this isn’t your average day in this sleepy Devizes-hugging parish, it’s the meticulously planned and aptly named “CrownFest,” at their only central village pub, The Crown.….

Because while grateful for the pub trend of sticking a man with a guitar under a gazebo and hoisting in a hotdog van, it hardly constituents a “festival.” Even the Easter musical event at The Crown received a higher-scoring mark than that, and it wasn’t labelled a festival; just a free social gathering. This time around though, attendee’s entrance fee was exhausted with a proper stage of quality sound and pyrotechnics, and the semi-permanent marquee where performers were shoved into a corner of last time, this time was filled with a whopping selection of affordable homemade pasties and sausage rolls; that’s me set in for the day!

Okay, so here’s my vague scoring system; to me “festival” must include multiple happenings; variety, if you will. If you’ve one act, or even one and a support, it’s a concert. If you’ve one food choice, it’s a beer garden barbecue, and if you’ve one barrel of flat, warm ale, well, you’re really asking for it!

I’m pleased to announce, with a great line-up, two bars plus the pub operating as usual, two barbecues, aforementioned pasties, sweeties and doughnuts stall, a kiddies fairground ride, and Devizes’ Italian Job airstream caravan, who I strongly suspect are following me around the local festival circuit(!) for an inaugural village festival, CrownFest ticked all my boxes and went way beyond expectations.

With a Queen tribute headlining, for example, a local spray-paint artist laboured the entire day, reconstructing a colossal portrait of Freddie Mercury, to be auctioned for charity. Just one of many unique elements which drove this mini-festival to punch above its weight, and a marvellous time was had by all. In a nutshell, it was a generous slice of fantastic.

On paint, a few nick-picking peevish keyboard warriors would’ve had you believe the Crown’s intentions of bringing a community together for a party was counterproductive, highly illegal and a nuisance to the tranquillity of life in Bishop’s Cannings, should you follow pitiful Facebook rants. Desperate for an angle, it backfired bizarrely, through petty complaining that the outside bar was painted purple! But if shock, horror meanderings divided a community online, there was no sign of it in the actual.

Despite the town carnival clashing, the event was moderately attended. The damning report for said pessimists is only a handful arrived from town, rather the bulk was made up of villagers, overjoyed entertainment of this calibre had parachuted into their village. Still though, to those unconvinced I’d say, I accept your concerns and respect your desire for tranquillity, but give and take in this world, and for just one night a year, a little compromise wouldn’t surely go amiss? While a significant event for a small village, noise levels were controlled and full-proof yet friendly security kept the peace; it hardly reached the intensity of living in Pilton.

The alternative is the reality of many a village pub, and excuse me if I’m wrong on this, but I also believe the Crown was suffering from the damning predicament prior to new tenants, that they fail to be a hub for villages, resulting in a dull life for its inhabitants. Providing such a service is essential for a demographic, as if house prices aren’t bad enough to drive the young away. Village pubs should take heed of the remarkable turnaround of the Crown at Bishop’s Cannings, owners employing local youths on a grander scale, building bridges between folk and providing entertainment to an otherwise archetypal sleepy community. Jazzy and Gary, you should be very proud of your achievement, and CrownFest was surely symbolic of the respect you’ve earned since taking the tavern on.

Eddie of Tunnel Rat Studios appears to have made coordinating the musical element his baby, the icing on the Crown’s cake. Though, running ahead of schedule, my bus journey ETA fell short of catching Pete Lamb’s Heartbeats, I can console myself upon the notion we’ll meet again some sunny Full-Tone day, and not forgoing, a band I’ve been meaning to tick off my must-see list, Devizes-based Paradox, were bundling equipment on stage superfast.

Paradox are entertaining, period. Kicking off with the Kinks’ You Really Got Me, and particularly adroit with the Beatles’ Day Tripper, yeah, they’re predominately covers, but their few originals came to a hilarious apex with a soon-to-be redundant satirical stab at Boris Johnson. Still, they were fun all round, and frontman, Derrick Jepson slogged it out as an amusing compere.

With George Wilding reassigned to a cruise job, and Isobel Thatcher signed off with covid, any doubt the two unfortunate cancellations would affect the schedule were abandoned when guitarist and sax backing for Thatcher surprisingly, mostly to themselves, produced a sublime set.

Then two hard rock bands, Melksham-Devizes crossover Plan of Action and Pewsey’s Humdinger contested for the best Billy Idol’s Rebel Yell cover, but also separately blessed the afternoon with back-to-back rock cover sets, that, while not entirely my cuppa, were exceptionally accomplished and certainly got the party going. While it was the heavier end of the scale which floated my boat from Plan of Action, covering Foo-Fighters yet also fantastically replicating Ready to Go, by Republica, the most appealing from Humdinger was certainly the breezy and encapsulating cover of Stereophonics’ Dakota. Both took no prisoners; drink was taking effect and CrownFest was gathering pace.

Confessions time; I neglected to tell John of Illingworth he was up for a mighty fine review regardless, until after he dropped me off home! Though despite following two heavy rock bands, this duo acoustic set with Jolyon Dixon, for me, was the kingpin in the line-up. Illingworth are so utterly skilful in driving a cover headlong into sentimental city, it’s always a pleasure. With heart and soul channelled, two guitars and a foot drum are all that’s required from Illingworth to produce breath-taking versions of Pink Floyd’s Wish You Were Here, and The Beatles Hey Jude, among others on this refined setlist; The Waterboys, Oasis, et al. Songs which could be considered cliché if anyone other than Illingworth were stamping their authority on them.

Time was nigh for the finale, Real Magic from Leicester pulled out the tribute act costume shop to replicate a marvellous homage to Queen, of which goes beyond comparison, likely because I’ve not witnessed another Queen tribute before. If doubts of how well they’d accomplish such a feat were mildly enthused with quantities of alcohol, but nevertheless were absolute perfection. Through every legendary hit they covered them with precision and finesse, it was a sight to behold, truly confirming the kind of magic CrownFest had monumentally achieved through just their first attempt. What a wonderful way to end the day, as villagers lit up the area with a true bond to be proud of. Spot on, I say.

I believe some folk need to get over the antiquated notion festivals are only for a raging mob of crusties, as trends have changed dramatically from the anarchist balls of the eighties or illegal raves of the nineties. Music festivals are today a stalwart of family entertainment, churches of popular culture and performing arts. They’re controlled, they’re mainstream, and the industries’ essentiality for them will not be put off by a whinging minority. It was great to meet Peggy-Sue of Swindon 105.5 radio, who for the past year has been producing a show wholly dedicated to local acts, and Mark Jones of Fantasy Radio, as we got along handsomely, chasing the shade in squatting his gazebo. So, if us media giants can get along, I’m sure a village community can too!

We look forward to the possibility of this being an annual fixture, word passed around CrownFest in the heat of the moment was positive it would be, meanwhile they’ll sporadically host smaller music events, and if true it’d be wise to bookmark CrownFest 2023 on your calendar.

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The Only Thing I Have in Common With Danny Kruger is Not Knowing When to Keep My Big Mouth Shut!

Featured image by Gail Foster

A hard piece to draft today, reflecting a week after Devizes MP Danny Kruger tried to rewind women’s rights a hundred years by riskily casting his antiquated, and frankly, narrow-minded views on the subject of abortion, because I’m adamant not to make this an opinion piece, for my opinion matters not, being I’ve a penis.

Not that it’s particularly spectacular(!) but I do, and I, like all other men, need to accept it’s undoubtedly a choice to be made by women, and women only. If I need to explain my reasoning for that, you failed primary school level anatomy.

Image by Charlotte Howard

And if I ever reverberate chauvinist banter, jokes of parallel parking, for instance, I’d expect ladies to retort this cracker, because it’s bloody hilarious and true: “what’s the useless piece of flesh on the end of a penis called? …. a man!” In a manner satirical it’s a cold served dish of fair play, and being present at both births of my children it’s also exactly how I felt; a completely useless spare part, a spectator to some kind of circus noir.

I believe the late, great Robin Williams spoke best on the reality of being a man assuming he’s ‘sharing the childbirth experience,’ when he said “unless you’re passing a bowling ball, I don’t think so. Unless you’re trying to circumcise yourself with a chainsaw, I don’t think so. Unless you’re opening an umbrella up your ass, I don’t think so!”

Despite a mounting campaign in his constituency involving protests in both Devizes and Marlborough last weekend, petitions and Facebook groups set about calling for his resignation, he only met us halfway and abandoned his post as PPS to some department or other, which I didn’t even know about until now, dunno if you did, but it seems neither does Danny K, who used the wrong Twitter handle and dumbfounded a random bloke in the Arab world, who’s wondering why there’s such a sudden female interest in his Twitter feed.

And anyway, isn’t it just following public contentious, giving into opinion, and what’s much, much more, a convenient distraction from his outburst?

Image by Charlotte Howard

Hysteria is likely his POV, being his mum, TV celeb Dame Pru Leith’s dismay, hounded on social media although actually expressing her disagreement with him was well publicised. It was a kind of warped Some Mother’s Do Ave ‘Em rant, condemning Eton for brainwashing away any parental influence; I’m buying it.

One can only crack a giggle at the thought of Danny K face-palming like a teenager in the back of the car; “mum! Soooo embarrassing!”

Still, a tad of hysterical I shrug, at why mum needed a keyboard warrior onslaught, not really her fault after all, but there’s good reason to anger. Much less he must feel that way or he would’ve apologised and taken it back, rather than what he did do, affirm his original stance on the issue. Horary to the anonymous person who messaged an open letter from women concerned about Danny Kruger’s comments (some of whom went to the Devizes and Marlborough events on Saturday) which has now collected around over a hundred signatures.

For prosperity, the letter is as follows: “To whom it may concern,

A politically diverse gathering of deeply concerned constituents who are supposedly represented by Danny Kruger MP came together on Saturday in Devizes and Marlborough. Local women self-organised using social media and word of mouth, there has been a flood of concern, support for one another and a wish to demonstrate very clearly how we feel.

We believe people were moved to come together to challenge the statements of a man who is in a role that is meant to represent our views and that Mr Kruger’s ‘intervention in an urgent question’ – as he himself described it – on the catastrophic reversal of Roe V Wade in the US – is a cause for our concern.

He stated clearly in the House of Commons that he disagreed with his peers – who were expressing dismay at this reversal – he then continued that he believes women do not ‘have an absolute right to bodily autonomy’. We can see this has had an incredible impact in our community, and that many people felt they simply could not let this pass.

We believe he has used his platform as an MP inappropriately to extol a niche and regressive ideology, about a private matter between a woman and her healthcare providers, which is not how he should be representing his constituents and shows them little respect. In our view it should concern anyone who cares about their own or others basic human rights.

Many of us have seen his qualifying statement and have indicated we do not believe that he was speaking about maintaining a status quo in the UK, he voted last week against an amendment to allow the Government to extend abortion access in Northern Ireland, and expressed opposition to buffer zones around UK providers to protect women attending from the unwanted abuse of protesters. Given this it is difficult to accept that his statement addresses the concerns outlined above, nor does it adequately address his comments on Roe vs Wade.”

Why, oh, why, oh Danny-boy, in these times of turbulence at Westminster did you choose to offend the entire female population and a great deal of men with a sense of basic morals, in your constituency? Especially being the current trend in the topic stems from the Roe V Wade case in the USA, and isn’t even on the agenda here. Was it a guff, is he so confidence in his safe seat? Let’s rewind here a moment.

When baby-faced Danny K was parachuted in and stormed the 2019 general election, with a majority of 47%, his maiden speech called for “a return to Christian values,” remember?

Danny is a devote Evangelical, the religious group renowned for extreme views against abortion. Seems this wasn’t politically motivated at all, he was just using his political position to preach to us, to indoctrinate his religious beliefs. It’s one stage above door-to-door Jehovah’s Witnesses intent on shoving their faith down your throat when you’re trying to sort the kid’s dinner out. And what do most of us do in this frustrating predicament? We shove the door in their face; take a hint, Danny, before I burn the Abalphabetti Spaghetti to the bottom of the pan!

I sincerely hope we find ourselves loosely united now, after years of bickering, which is strange. Two factions, then, one wanting Bojo and his cabinet gone to form a better Conservative party, and, another more sensible faction who are sick to death of the whole bloody lot of them.

I give reference to the blatant oddity that when a vote of no confidence was due, for partying through a pandemic regardless of the law they themselves set, potentially spreading a killer virus further, MPs like Danny K decided to back the prime minister, but the thought of being touched up in Westminster proved too much to bear. Weird that Gove has gone but Pincher is still an MP; standards in office, the country’s interests at heart? Ha, there was me thinking post-partygate we were supposed to be “getting on with the important issues affecting the country……”

Oh fuck, I accidentally made this an opinion piece, didn’t I?! I just can’t stop myself sometimes, it’s true, the only thing I have in common with Danny Kruger is not knowing when to keep my big mouth shut!

All I know is this, yeah, I was a spare part in that maternity unit, but when the time came, and I held my daughter in my arms I was overcome with the most immense emotion of love, love for them both, incalculable to anything I’ve ever experienced before. I cannot see how any man could see it anything less, but alas, some do. I think you have to experience it to know, it’s lifechanging, but only in the correct circumstances. I have to accept circumstances for others is not the fairy-tale, and often problematic.

We don’t need to dig deeper into said problems, as we’re opening all manner of Pandora’s boxes, we just need to acknowledge, guys, there’s no way in the world any woman would take abortion on a whim, I don’t believe it’s possible for women to not take the decision seriously. But still, regardless Danny hit back rather than apologised, stating, “What I said in the Commons was that ‘in the case of abortion’ a woman’s ‘absolute right to bodily autonomy… is qualified by the fact that another body is involved.’ This is the basis of the law as it stands, which recognises that somewhere along the journey towards birth the foetus or baby acquires rights of its own.”

“The fact is that all autonomy – all liberty – is qualified. We are not absolutely free because we are not absolutely alone. ‘Absolute autonomy’ in the matter of abortion would mean no restrictions at all on the termination of healthy, viable babies up to nine months’ gestation. It is this radical position that I oppose. Studies of public opinion also show a clear majority in support of restrictions, including term limits.”

Image: Gail Foster

Not to mock this without good reason, because I’m above that, but consider he was driven to comment from the widespread criticism of the overturning of Roe vs Wade, which triggered the immediate suspension of abortion at any term in many states, not just the restrictions he now says here he’s against, and the holes in his statement begin to reveal themselves.

Did anyone claim a thirty-seven-week abortion was accepted practice? Either I must’ve slept through this bit, or it’s simply untrue. It was the SCOTUS ruling they protested against, bringing about the immediate and complete dissolution of many safe and legal abortion options, for any reason, including rape, incest, underage pregnancy, health of the foetus or mother, or just simple accident.

It’s a clever piece of wordplay, from an educated and articulate chap, trying to convince you against your right of decision. Keep up the struggle to defend it. Because it was a matter left to medical experts in the States, now criminalised, undoubtedly resulting in needless deaths as folk would take abortion into their own hands, as it was in the dark ages; a period of history this confirms our government wish us to return to.

Full-Tone Stands Alone

Full Tone Festival August Bank Holiday then, penny for your thoughts on that one……

Five irritating wannabes handpicked for their conflicting personalities vote on each other’s dinner parties while a poor man’s Harry Hill narrator insults them in a heavily edited sham of a television show. Yet, despite this perpetual cycle of formulated garbage, Come Dine with Me attracts millions of viewers. It’s the same thing every darn episode; oh, how original, they’re looking in her knicker draw, saucy!

Give me strength; familiarity is prevalent, between three to five million people slouch in front of The Chase daily, when face it, aside differing questions, it’s monotonous; eat, watch The Chase, sleep, repeat. Still, from a few branches of the grapevine, I’ve caught this tosh: “The Full Tone Festival is the same as last year.” Shut the front door!

Honest, I feel like tapping them on the head, inquiring, “hello? Anybody in?!” Even if it was the same, which I’m out to conclude it’s not, so if you agree you need not read on, but even if it was, I’d reply, “yeah? Good!” for the simple reason, last year’s was absolutely, off-the-scale fantastic, and nothing, I repeat nothing, around these parts could match it.

I sincerely hope they’re not the same substandard detractors who hypocritically whine-hole when DOCA, for good reason, change the dates or the route of carnival! I attended the astounding MantonFest last weekend, it was a similar setup as last year, because the formula works, regulars flock to it safe in the knowledge they know what they’re getting, and if it’s not broken…. Face it, most events are samey. Glastonbury might host some different acts annually, but even they have the same stages in the same fields year after year; fresh cowpats, same mud!

Bottom line is, I’m unsure if it’s possible to improve on the sound, stage and pyrotechnics from last year, unless we forward-wind technology a few decades. The acoustics on that stage were mind-blowing, and if the price-tag is another niggly issue, you could see where your dollar was offloaded. It looked like something out of The Jetsons, didn’t it?! And I hope its shape will become iconic symbolism as to what can be achieved right here in Devizes. As an inimitable annual party, it’s one of a kind around these waters, it’s our ravey-davey Last Night of the Proms! The Full Tone Orchestra toured Bath Abbey, Marlborough College, the Wyvern in Swindon and beyond this year, but what they return home to produce is something really superior, something to congratulate and celebrate.

Musical director and conductor, Anthony Brown tells us he’s “been looking forward to this year’s festival from the moment I put my baton down last year, and I’m thrilled to have the opportunity to share what we do with so many people. There’s something here for everyone, no matter what your musical tastes are, and I guarantee that even those who have never experienced orchestral music before, will leave wanting more!” Summing my angle up nicely; far from a restrictive Proms, last year it opened doors to those otherwise sceptical of the magnificence of an orchestra and changed their preconceptions of them, and that’s a glorious achievement.

But the biggie still remains, what can we expect from this year’s Full-Tone Festival on August Bank Holiday weekend (27th & 28th August)? The family-friendly music festival promises to be even bigger and better than ever, with two full days of back-to-back music, performed by this spectacular 65-piece orchestra conducted by Anthony Brown, we know and love as the Fulltone Orchestra.

The programme divides into six orchestral concerts providing the ultimate variety of live music from popular classics, opera and big band to movie themes and huge nineties hits. The grand finale on Sunday evening will see The Green at Devizes transformed into its very own Studio 54, with the orchestra and singers performing a full two hour set of seventies inspired disco classics; oh, that can ring my bell, have I got time to grow an afro?!

So, if it is as I suggested, impossible to improve on the sound, stage and pyrotechnics, enhancements in the line-up are the logical steps, which has been done. Special guest artists performing on stage include the formidable voice of Jonathan Antoine. A classically-trained tenor, Jonathan rose to fame after appearing on the sixth series of Britain’s Got Talent in 2012, as half of the classical duo Jonathan and Charlotte. He went solo and his debut album, Tenore, was released in 2014, and subsequently followed with a further two albums.

Wiltshire’s own presenter and skateboarder, DJ James Threlfall also appears. James works radio for the BBC, and hosts football platform, 433. With a 95K Tik-Tok audience, Full Tone Festival also welcomes trumpeter Oli Parker, local legendary rock n rollers, Pete Lamb & The Heartbeats, and I’m delighted to see the most amazingly talented country-rock star Kirsty Clinch added to this fine bill; surely the icing on the cake.

Talking cake, food and drink will be available from local vendors, and t-shirts will be on sale and raising funds for Dorothy House. And that’s that, Bowie said it best, ch-ch-ch-changes. All you need to do is grab a ticket, from Ticketsource, or Devizes Books. While children under 14 go free, it’s going to set you back forty quid, yet you can guarantee its money well spent, for this unmissable entire weekend show right on your doorstep.

And for anyone casting a shadow of “samey,” I’d argue only in as much as everything is formulated; Albert Einstein had seven of the same suits, so he didn’t have to decide which one to wear! What are you expecting from them, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, digging up Beethoven? One ponders if they even attended last year, and I don’t mean the unofficial gathering on the little green, because they didn’t receive the benefit of being encased in the incredible acoustics of that Jetsons stage, they had not one iota of the splendour, the all-encompassing effect of it. But to say, if you were there, you’d surely take the “if it isn’t broken,” opinion and want nothing more than to do it all again.

Of course, it’s your prerogative to stay home watching Come Dine with Me on an endless cycle of repeats while everyone else is having a truckload of fun! For more information about the Fulltone Music Festival on The Green, Devizes, and to purchase tickets, please visit the Fulltone Orchestra website.

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Captain Councillor V The Pigeons From Hell

Jonathan Livingston Seagull came to. Through bloodshot eyes he regained just enough bearing to recall his whereabouts. His wings tied with rope, behind a hardbacked chair, his feet were tied to the legs. Out of focus a stumpy, bearded fellow sneered face-to-face with him, grasping two electrodes. “Sch-sch-should, I shock him again, oh master?” he sniggered.

A deep voice bellowed from the rotund shadow in the background, his ghastly features only visible for a second when he thrusted a Crammar Watch postcard marked with all the postcodes of honest folk who wished to see something done about their poullted town pond, into the fire, and lit his cigar with it. “A word in your shell-like, gull. Refuse to answer and you will be banned from my Facebook group, capiche;? Now, who shate on my Greggs sausage and bean melt?!”

As the first unkindly fellow moved the electrodes closer to his temple, Livingston screamed out, “please, do not exclude me from such a fine, unbais Facebook group; I’ll squawk, I’ll tell, but please, anything but that! It, it, it was the pigeons, they did it!”

Two weeks later….

Honestly, if you’re wondering what happened at the Devizes Town Council meeting last night, when the dynamic duo unleased their devestating plan against pigeons in the Market Place, I dare not ask.

Is this the kind of “important issues” we were advised by Danny K to focus on, rather than partygate? Or just perhaps it’s a distraction from the pollution in the Crammar issue, you know, the other occasion when these two cross-party councillors mobbed up to spread misinformation. Far from me to shoot that in the foot, by pondering the pigeons who’ve abandoned the Crammer, that if there was the natural food source we’ve been campaigning for, perhaps the pigeons would be more evenly dispersed across town, rather than congregating for easy pickings, but I wouldn’t dare suggest such a thing.

“There is no evidence of pollution in the Crammar,” it’s said they claimed, and here’s a CGI video our tech guys at Devizine Towers just knocked up; honestly, it’s like Pixar around here!

Of course, it was rightly pointed out by one of our dynamic duo, that the rescue charity Swan Support actually polluted the unpolluted pond when one of them wadded in for a few moments, before giving up and going for the canoe option. Because, of course, Swan Support always rock up to clean water and steal swans from their natural environment for no good reason.

Ha, and we all thought it was because there’s a runoff drain from the busy road adjacent! Silly us, what do we know, after all we weren’t even there to witness it, probably at home watching Come Dine With Me. The councillors were the ones in the perpetual drizzle rescuing the swans, one even posted a photo of them holding a swan to prove it, it’s been said, the photo circa 2017, on his timeline photos. That’s what being a timelord from Gallifrey is useful for.

Moving the silt in the water is what’s poullting it, they claim, and then they had a toy boat race, for the Queen.

Now, of course, they point out the Crammar is Town Council property, ergo everything in the water is too; including the non-polluting pollution I have to presume. And anyone wadding in to rescue oil-slicked wildlife is liable; which is a nice way of resolving the issue and moving onto a few pigeons in the Market Place.

In a week where a Marlborough councillor tried to convince me the whopping taxpayer’s bill to blockade the ridgeway over solstice, causing chaos for miles, was only to protect nesting birds. Being here in the Vizes councillors are hell bent on destroying birds, hardly gives anyone the confidence Wiltshire tories are keen ornithologists, or give a finger of fudge about any wildlife really, on account of Wiltshire PCCs blind eye to fox hunting. “Look away from the Crammer, and feast your eyes on the site of our future railway station, six miles out of town!”

Yeah, we’re supposed to feel the need, the need for speed; getting Danny K to Parliament on time is the difference it makes, because favours for who gets their tongue furthest up Bojo’s anus are handed out on a first-come-first-served basis. While many taxpayers coughing up for the vanity project won’t be able to afford the bus journey to the station, let alone a railway ticket. Anyway, I digress, who cares about peasants?

What will be done to reduce the slight pigeon population in Devizes; poison in the nests, armed response unit, one-way ticket to Rwanda for these naturally homing flying rats? The latter might get you an allowance to touch Priti Patel’s petticoat, imagine what a semi that’ll produce.

Here’s an article explaining culling pigeons is totally ineffective and actually counterproductive, it will only make matters worse. The best soultion is education, it suggests. No, not the pigeons, though it might be helpful to our education system to replace a few headteachers around these parts for pigeons, it meant educating the public. Because, here’s the bottom line, it’s a monster of our own making, and only Captain Councillor and his trusty sidekick can save us now!

Yes indeedy, hence my narrative at the top, try reading the bottom comment in this screenshot below without taking on an east London gangster type accent. “The gulls are being worked on!” Give me strength, who do they think they are? Hale & Pace doing The Firm?!

I’ve no idea, but they seem to me nothing more than Dastardly and Muttley. How in the bejeezus is a poll conducted on a Facebook group where anyone with a differing opinion from the one-man town council admin is promptly banned, considered a consensus of public opinion and presented before the council as damning evidence?

Whatever happened to democracy, much less live and let live? Pigeon infestations are annoying, so is tory ones in my opinion, but I don’t campaign for their cull. Let’s all be good Christians and sing, “All Things Bright and Beautiful,” shall we, then slaughter a mass of those blasted creatures lord god made?

Can I give up now? Is the hypocrisy showing yet? First world problems for little Englanders, like the verbal war in Bishop’s Cannings over a pub painting its shed purple, perpetrated by keyboard warriors in tow with our dynamic duo, but not quite on city level. Take the slave trader they convicted, in Bristol of all places, where they condone slavery! A city with a council who try to fine folk for taking a statue of a slave trader down! Oh my years, the wonky reasoning went along the lines of “you can’t erase history, we keep the statue to remind us of the atrocities so they won’t happen again.” Yeah, right, the bastard really took notice of that, didn’t he? By that logic you should be erecting a statue of him for future generations to look up to and say, “right, deffo this time, it won’t happen again.”

It might be a world apart, but the same ballpark, all hypocrisy together as one pile of steaming bullshit.

Death to all pigeons will mean we get other species of birds, rats, and other pests taking their place; do we mow down everything in our path in a Mad Max stylee? Or do we just have to get on with our lives, try to live in unity with nature, before the apocalypse?

This duo are a kind of anti-David Attenborough, aren’t they? A knight showing you how dinosaurs gained feathers and evolved into birds when we were but scrurrying rodents in the sand, on the telebox, yet seems these over-inflated egotistical power-hungry councillors think they’re above the natural order of things; because of digital watches, Douglas Adams might conclude.

You can use netting, paint owl eyes on windows as a deterrent, you can cover up food for sale outside or keep a watch over them. You can diversify and defeat, peacefully. Pigeons have a brain capability slightly lesser than councillors, you can outwit them.

It must’ve really helped local shop-owners when the dynamic duo blabbed to Wiltshire Times, for example, how “traders in the little Brittox are concerned by the number of pigeons in the area as they believe the droppings are making the footpath unsafe and are contaminating food and products on display.” Good thinking, guys, that’s not put me off buying produce from there at all. Just another day for Captain Councillor and his trusty sidekick!

Wiltshire Council & English Heritage Gang Up to Ruin Solstice at Avebury

Morning person by default, I get to see the sunrise every morning, ergo I’ll tell you something you all should know anyway; watching it as a live stream on your phone just doesn’t have the same impact. “You’ve got a window, use it, hippy,” seems to be the ethos of regulations set by Wiltshire Council, the National Trust and English Heritage, who’ve ganged up to ruin solstice at Avebury, for the people it means the most to.

Marlborough Tory Councillor Jane Davies republished Wiltshire Council’s statement on her Facebook page, to receive much frustrated and unanswered replies. The Council will close The Ridgeway from Overton Hill to Hackpen Hill to all vehicles from Monday 13th to Thursday 30th June. It will also close Avebury High Street to non-residents through 20th to 22nd June. Solstice is Tuesday 21st.

Park illegally and it will be towed away they threaten, as a way to “ensure people can enjoy the summer solstice safely at Avebury this year.” Yes, with irony on a departed flightpath, that really is their reasoning, reminding folk if they don’t like it the sunrise will be live streamed anyway, so you know where to go.

Let’s look at this logically, if I may, rather than the type of wonky perception of English Heritage, who last week saw nothing inappropriate in abusing Stonehenge as a giant projection screen for images of the Queen. The fact remains, while the National Trust carpark is the only way they’ll make a tidy profit, it simply isn’t big enough, neither will it accept “live-in” vehicles, or has ample disabled parking spaces, and despite this there’s rumours floating it’ll also be closed.

One stage away from bricking the village in, I find myself pondering if they’ve stopped to consider the consequences, or if they really care. Anyone who can read between the fabricated wellbeing and conservational lines will be fully aware this is a calculated attack on our rights to roam, and those who execute that right. Yet it will not only affect them, but the entire community surrounding the stones. Rightfully every farmer will batten down the hatches, close gates and block entrances, because this is necessary arable land and the last thing, they need, is a bunch of hippies hanging about; I get that, but surely, that’s the point of the Ridgeway in the first place, to give them space to camp, without invading private farmland?

This, and the alternatives will set to infuriate residents and passers-by, perpetuating the negative stereotype of the travelling community, as lorry drivers cannot take a well-earned rest in occupied laybys, and neighbouring villages will clutter with parked vehicles; I get that too, but it’s easily avoided if the Ridgeway offered them a temporary stop, as is the practice. Ha, who’d a thought it, (not the pub carpark, don’t make it like I put ideas in your head!) but it feels like Wiltshire Council have an agenda, a kind of abhorrence of the travelling community, when we all thought the Beanfields was consigned to historical articles in the Guardian.

For a further point of aggravation; surely, it’s a burden to the Police too, who’ll have to deal with the frustration these restrictions will cause, and likely face the brunt of the blame? “Appropriately” seems to be a word they bounce around regularly in the notification, as in “this will ensure Solstice celebrations can be managed appropriately,” and “people preparing for the summer solstice should take note of these important restrictions so they can plan celebrations appropriately.” Yet by very definition, in a manner that is suitable or proper in the circumstances, these regulations are perceptibly inappropriate. In other words, we have a polarised vision of how to conduct an ancient festivity, and you are forced to follow it; we don’t want too many people to enjoy themselves and it doesn’t include travellers.

With limited space in the pricey National Trust carpark, feels like the Council and EH want just enough revellers to set the mood for their live stream; the local folk they snub but humour “champagne socialists,” or as I favour to call them; a dying breed of affluent inhabitants with a conscious and basic morals. If lockdown facilitated a culture of watching events online, note, WC, that time is over.

Ha, course you could get the bus, if only the service was adequate. But yeah, Solstice is on a first-come-first-served basis this year, giving locals the upper-hand; This is a local solstice, for local people, there’s no sunrise for you here.

Shoot me after my conclusion, but all this feels akin to the Christianisation of ancient festivals, like you know, Father Christmas was a wiseman following the star, or the Easter bunny’s rabbit holes provided excellent support for crucifixion crosses; the very same ethos which tore down Avebury stone circle in the first place (check your history.) Why not go the full hog and Disneyfy the whole shebang, make solstice sunrise only available as a series on Disney+?

Rather, it’s high time for our county to accept and embrace this alternative form of tourism, provide facilities adequate to the need. Do this under the presumption without aggravation caused by such restrictions will go some way to building a trustworthy bond, because, and here is the rock bottom line; the only trouble that’s EVER happened at Avebury or Stonehenge during Solstice was caused by frustration at such restrictions. Given the right to celebrate, there would be no trouble, there never has been. Make people feel constrained, fraught and segregated, and there’s nowhere else for them to go but exacerbation.

And don’t be giving me this “protecting a world heritage site,” crock-of-shite; when they’re prepared to strip Stonehenge of its world heritage status in order to unlawfully (according to the High Court,) construct a monstrous overpriced tunnel underneath it! Here; take a hint, a row of bushes will do the job of hiding it from non-paying tourists!

There, had my rant, these organisations made their bed, and if this causes issues, they’ve only themselves to blame. You know closing off the byways isn’t going to solve any damage to Avebury, it will only make it worse, I wonder if you care, or if there’s a hidden agenda. Feels like WC are an older sibling, continuously slyly poking their younger brother until he’s forced to lash out, and then calling, “mum, he hit me!” Because it’s not relevant in their lives they want rid of it; I say, get over yourself.

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Waiting for M3G’s new Single…..

So yeah, I thought I’d be funny by commenting “can’t wait” on Chippenham’s upcoming folk singer-songwriter Meg’s Facebook post announcing her latest single, because, you…

Bradford on Avon Green Man Festival

Featured Image: Colin Rayner Photography If I’ve recently been singing the praises of arts diversity in Bradford-on-Avon, centred around the Wiltshire Music Centre and not…

Viduals Release New Single

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12 Bars Later Pop into The Badger Set

Must’ve been a sweaty August night last year at our trusty Southgate, when I turned up on the off chance, and staggered home mightily impressed…

Castlemorton Wasn’t the Best Rave Ever!

Featured Image ©Alan Lodge Photography

Okay, I confess, that’s a clickbait title, forced to make you shout, pantomime style, “oh yes it was!” On this, the thirtieth anniversary of The Castlemorton Free Festival I’m predicting vast quantities of media coverage, hailing its significance in the counterculture of the nineties, and indeed it was the largest illegal gathering in the UK, comparable with the Stonehenge Free Festivals a decade prior.….

And indeed, due to the knickers of a local Tory councillor getting in a twist, it heralded an act of law to prevent so much as four pixies gathering and listening to “repetitive beats,” a desperate last stand from fraying Thatcherism.

But arriving on the scene Friday, dusk had already befallen and we hadn’t a clue just how much it had blossomed. From its epicentre it seemed like just another, typical weekend for us, and in personal reflection, it was not my most memorable rave at all.

In the late eighties acid house was a secret, an exclusive collective no more than a couple of thousand strong. Pyramid promoting, predominately via word-of-mouth, but also by media overexposure, had created a monster; a burgeoning culture trend, an apolitical rebellion whose only ethos was carefree dance. But authorities could neither control it nor let it be. No one made any money from it, that infuriated them, so government made it political, the aftermath of Castlemorton was their Empire Strikes Back.

What was more important to me this weekend thirty years ago, was I finally passed my driving test; a catalyst to seeking raves easier than our only previous methods of blagging lifts or hitchhiking, both of which had unpredictable results. Devastating irony was this particular weekend would be the last of the great raves!

I had my Ford Escort, which I hadn’t fully paid my mum for, so it was legally still hers, and we headed off to Malvern in it; no motorway lesson nor taking-it-steady-on-local-roads starter kits for me!

This legendary party line phone message the Beeb published this week I never heard. On this occasion the usual method of a reliable source phone call was not needed; HTV broadcasted a bulletin about it, they made it too easy for us!

The common was positively buzzing, as more sound systems bolted on and revellers flocked to explode the population to city status. Just how many attended is the query for great debate, safety in numbers was our philosophy, but when we staggered up the hillside at sunrise, our rural chillout zone, the penny dropped.

I recall duly and rather dully contemplating, “they’re never going to live this one down, they’ll never let us get away with it,” it didn’t take Nostradamus, as this sprawling linear development metropolis of o’ bangers and hippy buses expanded like a Sim City game along across a single country track.

Image Alan Lodge Photography

Yet the first evening proved unsuccessful in purchasing “rave necessities,” we were ripped off with duff “red & blacks,” soon to be aptly dubbed, “Dennis the Menaces.”

Financially this put us in deficit, and while the upside wasn’t so up, the downside seemed to be equally as prominent, as if the upside had of happened. Supply and demand reduced the potency, these were changing times. But we did it to ourselves, our own worst enemy in so effectively promoting this new way of life. Such was the effect of ecstasy, coming complete with an uncontrollable desire to share the experience, as standard. In this much, that is why we had come to this final kaboom; Castlemorton was the rave to end raves in the UK, least on the same scale.

Second downer for me was when a friend of a friend was badly injured, hanging off the side of a bus which was being pursued by police. The deep graze on her leg needed medical attention, a clean dressing, but the only car available was sporty without adequate room on the backseats. I was in no fit state to drive, so in a flash of unnerving planning, a friend had whisked away to an accident & emergency ward, in my car. We were stranded here for inestimable period. The sun was blazing with little shade, I couldn’t contemplate straying too far, eager to see my little red car returned safely.

I needn’t have worried, but understandably I did, I was a naïve 18-year-old, laughable now that I considered myself grownup. Feelings of doubt haunt the intoxicated teenage mind, but to give this story a happy ending, the car returned with injured passenger in fine fettle, and I was rewarded a gift for my assistance, the pick-me-up I sorely needed. So, because my friends didn’t receive a similar package, I had no choice but to temporarily abandon them, and head to the DIY tent for a dose of their celebrated trancey house grooves.

And for that moment it was an amazing experience, yet I’d argue no more than previous raves, like Lechlade the previous weekend, and so, so many others. Every time it just got bigger, but not necessarily better, Castlemorton was the breaking point, and for this, it deserves to be the one historically recorded and remembered. Though in turn we should use the anniversary of it to reminisce on the era as a whole, and the “happy daze” of our youth.

Rave continued regardless of the Criminal Justice Bill, albeit it took a shot in the leg, dispersing the scene into localised events, or, more agreeable to society, the great pay raves. But the most important factor of the importance of Castlemorton was the international media exposure, and the new ruling forcing sound systems to exile into Europe, for this only caused Britain’s enthusiastic tenet and attitude toward rave to go global.

In turn its effects on musical progression, the aesthetics of festival design, fashion, politics, and resurgence of counterculture are undeniably prominent today, and for those who attended this particular eruption, they’ll always make some fucking noise about Castlemorton; a raver’s Mecca; deservedly.

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Popped my Frome cherry; a Morning in a Somerset Freetown

Without certified limitations on Devizine, I freestyle the boundaries of listing events upon the ethos if it’s conceivable and practical to drive to from our Devizes base, then what the hell, I’ll list it. While it’s laborious, and often impossible to include every Wiltshire pub with a man with a guitar yodelling Wonderwall in, I try my upmost, but the wider we journey the vaguer it obviously gets; I’m not flipping omnipresent.

I’m partial to listing events in Frome, though, despite it bordering my ruling, for two reasons; 1: The Cheese & Grain; the non-profit, community led, all-purpose venue, punches well above its weight, booking the quality of acts you’d expect to trek to a city for.

And 2: I get this overall perception of Frome being this little Somerset haven of alternative arts and culture; like a West Country Brighton, without a pier. But in all honesty, it’s hearsay; it could have a pier for all I know, for other than dropping in on my previous employment as a delivery driver, and to navigate its bypass on my way further west, I confess, I’ve never actually explored the centre of Frome; what-cha gonna do? I don’t do urban rambling, and deplore the mechanical façade of orthodox window-shopping.

In a weekend where I decided to bunk gigging, as previous weekends I’ve golloped three apiece, realise I’m addicted to writing and have to knock some-waffling-thing up for the sake of my sanity, even if it comes across school holiday assignment. Up until Sunday options were slim, Britain’s Got Talent the epicentre of entertainment ingested, followed by a surprisingly tricky quiz show hosted by the Not Going Out comedian, in which questions might’ve been easier if BGT hadn’t previously fried my cranium.

So, with Dad’s taxi booked to Longleat Forest with an approximate three-hour interval, I start contemplating how to kill said three hours. With strict satirical nonstarters like “keep driving,” “catch the first bus out of there,” and “end it all now!” being the responses to a Facebook post requesting ideas of how to kill three hours on a drizzly spring Sunday morning in Warminster, I made a note to reconnoitre why it’s considered so dismal and cultureless, other than its discouraging namesake relating to war, which is never much fun, coupled by my discovering a Warminster community hub website which, when you click their event guide comes up “page not found,” and perhaps sought to rectify this if possible, another time.

It was a no-brainer, head to Frome, Sunday mid-mornings aren’t the liveliest of times anywhere, so if I could find some hippy-chick knocking up a bowl of humus barefoot on the street, at least it’d be something. Noted I’d crossed state line as drystone walls envelope fields, hills get that bit steeper and road systems are purposely designed to ward off, or merely confuse the shit out of grockles.

To save diverting in circles, I implored myself to dump the car at the next available carpark and pray it was walking distance to the town centre. Cliché mainstream shop Marks & Sparks Food Hall and the Frome Job Centre provided clues, unimpressively. I mean yeah, they’ve got the archetypical charade of chain stores, though the borderline acceptable Subway being the only fast-food joint, if Greggs is endurable, and yay, they robbed me two quid to park on a Sunday to ascend vertical cobblestoned streets like Dale Winterton mountaineering, only to browse closed shops wondering why I didn’t slouch in the car playing WordLots on my Samsung.

What upped my spirits, other than a bakery sign saying Cornish pasties for £2.50 (I mean, who does that? Have I slipped through a wormhole to the nineteen-nineties, or is this the Isle of Wight?) was a window display of an arty emporium sardonically mocking Brexit and the travesty of the Conservatism regime through decorated mugs and other handmade merchandise. I smiled at the audacity of a shop which would be petrol-bombed by our knuckle-dragging majority of Daily Fail readers back in Devizes before it opened; I’d fit in here.

For want of getting lost, I wobbled back down the hill, locating The Sun Inn, one watering-hole with a Tardis for a door I’d noted for holding the odd live music event; perhaps that was my route back in time but without a rainbow scarf I couldn’t gain access, ramming the door only woke the dog and I assessed I was too early. Though by the time I’d detoured once more, governed by a broken compass, found another closed boozer I’ve listed as a music venue, uninventively named 23 Bath Street, I went on a hunch the side road by The George would be the way to my mecca.

Sure enough, over a bridge in a carpark a visage appeared, the golden wooded entertainment cathedral of The Cheese & Grain. With a café, The Grain Bar, on the side it was lively already, as a regular children’s clothes market, Little Pickles was just closing, allowing me to sneaky peak at the impressive venue. I could just imagine some great acts playing, who have in the past graced this stage. It was no Albert Hall, it was functional, yet in by modernism standard it was chic, alluring nonetheless.

I considered my tummy, at the café, but wandered off as on the way over to it, I’d seen another attraction beckoning me. Black Swan Arts is another point of interest, and I sheepishly entered, as a stranger does in a gallery shop. With some lovely art, you usually browse the circuit, make your excuses and go the way you came in, cos as much as I adore art, my wallet doesn’t.

Yet this was such a charming gallery, hosting plenty of workshops, it just fizzled into the Frome life already blossoming from its slumber outside. But I didn’t go out through the out-door, I sauntered to the rear of the shop to appear next in queue for the café, The River House, conveniently.

Handsomely expedient and adorably unpretentious, they kookily handed me a mini-figure of Batman’s Robin, rather than a spoon with a number on (which I secretly wanted to keep,) and proceeded to knock me up a hunky-dory mug of tea and perfectly toasted sausage ciabatta for a mere seven quid.

That’s when I got the bat-signal, sadly, my time was up and Dad’s taxi was back on call; just as I was getting into sharing my table with middle-aged beatniks far cooler than me. I pondered upon my return to the carpark, as a fellow sat on a bench practising his flute, Frome is a wonderfully original, outlandish place, deffo. If I was a younger, unattached lad, I could be persuaded to settle there, become part of the furniture at the Cheese & Grain.

But as it is, aging rapidly, rooted here with a settled family, and I must say, content with Devizes, I could only wish that our town council, our event organisers, and the great doers in town could take a leaf out of Frome’s books, shake off the partial frumpiness of Devizes, the discreditable tory grasp, and think outside the box. For all the great amenities we have in Devizes match Frome, yet our ability to utilise them as effectively, to accommodate everyone and their ways no matter how eccentric they might appear to others, sometimes, and I stress, only sometimes, falls beneath our potential; in, ha, you know, my honest opinion.

Though, I’ve returned home, added listings for The Cheese & Grain to our event calendar, as usual, but I mean, look, it falls within the ruling, really; they’ve got The Beat, The Feeling, Zion Train, Stiff Little Fingers coming up, they’ve even got Public Image Ltd, and thems worth driving the distances for, worth crossing border control into the land of somersetting for, if we can’t have Johnny Lydon here, punking up the Corn Exchange!

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Wiltshire Music Centre; Proper Job!

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Devizes Street Festival Day 1; the Inner Workings of DOCA

Well okay, there’s a meerkat atop a camal, patrolling him through Devizes Market Place, while girls attired in Victorian strongman leotards heckle the crowds, spoiling for arm wrestling contests.Grown men in pink bunny onesies hop outside the Corn Exchange while Bristol’s riotous transeuropean folk drum n bass agricultural revolutionaries Ushti Baba harmonise beatbox and an acordian in a sea-shanty-come-klezmer fashion on an open stage where you usually park to use the cashpoint. Devizes Street Festival blessed us early this year.…

Ignoring the idol threat of April showers, Saturday was an absolute blast with the clement weather of summer and revellers out to play. The Market Place was thriving with smiley faces young and old and merriment abound. After last year’s restricted effort, we needed to blow it out of our system, and Devizes Outdoor Celebratory Arts knocked that sentiment out of the park.

Yet I do this; recover enough to string a haggard description of multiple circus and street theatre occurences into a kind of overhaulled review with a sensational “wow, this slice of festival really happened in Devizes” angle, every year. Throughly deserved though it is, to saunter through the crowd is to be joyful in the spirit of the moment, but blissfully unware of its inner workings.

Have faith, or take for granted the Market Place will magically tranform into Boomtown for a weekend, your free playground of revellery, with little consideration to how much effort has been made by a vast amount of contributors and volunteers.

So, the angle this time is only partially how utterly fantastic it so obviously was, rather focus behind the scenes, because arts director Loz and her volunteering team are not Paul Daniels, and this free fairytale bonanza doesn’t magically appear overnight.

To do this I’m high-viz wearing undercover, and for all the use I’ll be, other than clearing a few wheelie bins, misguiding folk in the opposite direction to the loos, and assigning myself offical cider tester, I’ve assimilated myself into the festival maker collective.

Adorned with access-all-areas privileges the Corn Exchange exposed the inner workings. Loz and leaders divide their time between rushing around like headless chickens and coordinating on a laptop, while every member wears a smile on their face despite the mundane or heftiness of the errand they’ve been set. Take these crates of food into the kitchen, I’ll be glad to. Happy to be on the team, which I haven’t made head nor tail of tasks set on a rota board by the entrance. I’m a newbie, many volunteers have done this for decades.

If you ever thought outside was bizarre, that hall you’ve been to for your covid jab is equally. A makeshift office-back stage circus hybrid, with a camal parked in the foyer, dancers choreographing in the hall, tree people preparing to wander out into the drunken abyss, and I’ve adopted the English tradtion of speaking my own language just with a hint of Latino accent in order to communicate with a crew of traditional Spanish saliors enjoying the supplied buffet. It’s an eye-opener to the inner workings of the centrepiece of DOCA.

Oh, for the energy, teamwork and amazing effort from everyone here, other than me, who, to put it nicely, aren’t getting any younger, to the keyboard warriors of social media land who continue to criticise changes to the programme, I confirm to you, my feet were aching by the first morning, and I was merely part time bin inspector. Criticise all you will, that is your perogative; they could’ve done this like this, not like that, where’s my favourite brand of lager, and the tradtionalist toppermost, why can’t they keep the dates as they were, all contained in a fortnight? Why not drain every last gram of stamina out of these volunteers and hang them up on a glucose drip afterwards?! Seriously, take a look at yourself, those guilty few, have you offered to help or are about to anytime soon? I took my best shot, it’s exhausting, I first-hand know this to be true now.

If its done anything it’s made me appreciate even more the will and effort of the volunteers, and respect that not every minor market town is blessed with such an event; we should be far more grateful. Then I revert, ignore the hiding whingers, they are but few. For everyone here, throughly enjoying themselves, the Ceres finale came at 6pm.

A theatrical acrobatic display of song and dance with the narrative of town’s folklore incident involing Ruth Piece, on this very spot, was promised. At first, while a hefty crane hoisted a peformer high into the sky, few drinkers at the bar huffed “hippy shit,” least admired the machinery and skill of the crane operator. Yet as the ambince of the drum beats, the haunting narrative of the moment, the strawmen casting shadows over the crowd, and the absolutely sublime acrobatic display above them, I swear every single person in the Market Place was left spellbound; you could hear a pindrop.

Unlike the usual fizzling out of the street festival, whereby revellers stagger away over time, navigated by a broken compass with the hide-in-a-pub or go home to sober up dilemma, even if they did they bore the imprint of a kind of subliminal concept, inserted through the medium of arts.

Perhaps Ruth Piece isn’t as portrayed, the archetypal baddie here, and while of course it is wrong to cheat, poverty and demading situations caused her to do what she did. Perhaps, just perhaps, the heckling and petty squabbling attaining her guilt was also at fault, and we should instead learn to have some sympathy and understanding. Perhaps, in turn, those complaining about the breaking up of the ‘fortnight of fun’ should consider the gallant work carried out by this group of volunteers, and appreciate their combined efforts, because Saturday was outstanding, and Sunday is awakening, the carnival, confetti battle and later events DOCA gift us with will arrive later in the summer, and you’re grownup, you can wait.

Ah, I’m getting all morally correct again, just ignore my insane dribbling if you will, the Street Festival continues today, I’m looking forward to it but I’m currently away in Taunton, typing this on my phone, where it’s rather drizzly. I hope this passes upon my return to Devizes later and we can do it all again; hope to see you there, and any delicious brownies from the Bake With Lil stall will be gratefully received!

This incredible Ceres show, with written verses by our resident poet Gail Foster, will be repeated as the finale again at 6pm, and prior one of my favourite bands, Mr Tea and the Minions are due to blast their sublime folky Balkan ska at us; lack of Mr Blue Skies I sincerely hope won’t prevent that!

Danny K & The Haters; Here’s my Small Axe

Danny K & the Haters, sounds like a belligerent rockabilly band, but it’s not, it’s far more shameful than that. Devizes and District MP Danny Kruger turned his back on his constituents this week, labelling them “haters,” in order to brown-tongue the effortlessly-reasoned worst Prime Minister in English history. And guess how many people asked me for my opinion? No one, but I’m going to give it anyway….

You should know by now I’m the political equivalent of “Catchphrase,” not the most intelligent of TV game shows; I just say what I see. That’s worth mentioning here, I feel, as this is not a red or blue thing, this applies probably more to Conservative supporters; any gram of reputation your party once had, is at stake, hanging by a thread. I’d thought you’d want to do something about that, or are you Starship-confident, and nothings gonna to stop you now?

Here’s my small axe. Though the desperate defence over party-gate for our tin-pot-dictator-in-clown-disguise devotees often seems to be: there’s more important things to deal with, and we should move on; that’s all they’ve got on this one and it’s as shallow as the liars in Parliament themselves. Yes, there are more important things to deal with, 99.9% of them have been caused by the shit-show we like to call a government, and yes, we should move on, oust the prime minister, rid parliament of his yes-men cabinet, and we can do exactly that.

How absolutely sick and twisted do you have to be to attempt to push this one under the carpet? How dishonourable of all those who died, least suffered from the pandemic, how insolent for NHS staff who risked their lives, to suggest they too partied, when anyone who’s ever done a day’s work of manual labour would know how hard those doctors and nurses were pushed, the endgame of which would not be partying, rather slump on the sofa out of exhaustion, waiting for the next morning to arrive to do it all again.

How utterly disrespectful to us all, all key workers, everyone who self-isolated, obeying the regulations they set out, everyone who has lost their business, least worked tenfold to get it back online. This is apolitical, this is social contempt on a national scale, and those who abused it, those in responsibility who laughed in our faces, and celebrated their own profits made by stamping their boots on our faces, to criticise that, to pass comment this might’ve been a tad unfair and Danny Kruger labels you as a “hater,” your own member of parliament who you pay for, the one who’s supposed to work for you.

I’m sorry Danny, you had me for a while, and despite being a tory, I’d figured you had an angle, you warranted some praise, but to defend the Prime Minister on this is to disrespect your constituencies, and you should, like the rest of the Etonian flunkies, resign too; clear-out the clutter of this toxic workplace.

Oh, Danny

“I want to speak in defence of the Prime Minister,” he waffled, “because somebody has to.” No, Danny, that’s the point; they don’t. He’s a big boy now, part of any top brass job is accepting responsibility.

The logic behind his comments is comradeship, an amity drummed into every public schoolboy that you never call out a fellow scholar, no matter what. This is why Bojo himself happily handed the address of a journalist investigating a school chum fiddling his taxes, to have him beaten up. Boris Johnson, the Bullingdon ringleader who drunkenly trashed priceless art in Oxford’s Magdalen College; the anarchy of the elite, knowing producing a chequebook would waiver whatever destruction they caused. He’s now controlling the country, and you Danny, equivocated in your articulated manner, “if he lied to this house of course he should resign. But he didn’t. Patently he didn’t. Patently he didn’t break the law deliberately, and so patently he didn’t deliberately mislead this house.”

Everything Boris utters is one big continuous lie, he’s compulsive, but that’s beside the point, the point is they partied on while the rest of obeyed the rules they set out. He stood there, on the TV and announced the rules himself, how can you possibly suggest he was unaware of them? He broke the law, deliberately, he assumes he’s Michael Knight, operating above the law, probably mumbles the car’s sound when he’s on his potty.

Danny continued to propose an apology would suffice in his opinion, like Parliament is a nursery and Bojo is but a toddler. He’s 57 for crying out loud, and runs a country, when is he expected to be grownup enough to take a little responsibility?

But the grand finale of Danny’s whimper was on his constituencies who have written to him in outrage. “Many are just the usual haters who have always despised the Prime Minister,” he said, he actually said this, as if there’s absolutely no grounds in which to criticise the actions, or inactions of Bojo. This is without doubt the most hurtful accusation of all, the hate comes from the other way around, me old shagger, the hate is what Boris Johnson showed to all who suffered, died or even those who escaped the pandemic but obeyed the rules, and that means he is so obviously unsuitable as a prime minster, a role which involves caring, not hating.

It’s no walk in the park, prime ministering, it’s an arduous task, a role which needs intelligence, honour and integrity and likeable as the clown is, he ticks none of those boxes. Which is unfortunate, but see the sum of all the scandals and catastrophes, the daily newsfeed of deception and dishonour, multiply them by the state they made of the country, the hyperinflation, condoned prejudice, the failed ideas and projects, the poverty divide; it is not a case of if he lied to the house on this particular occasion, or not, it is the sum of all these parts and many more. If you can mince your words, Mr Kruger, so I believe I have the right too, and you’re confusing hate for a righteous desperate plea; rid parliament of the deadwood, do yourself a favour.

Trending……

Laughable Excuses for Savernake Forest Proposals  

Last week I tried to convey how Savernake Forest has fond memories for all who live nearby it, and how it’s cherished by users in the same manner today, in the wake of a publication by Forestry England called “Our Shared Forest.” Ironic by title, it seemed to propose restricting the public to set walking trails at the Postern Hill site, extending the carpark and forcing people to pay for the privilege of using it. We’ve since heard back from Forestry England, as I emailed them the article, though I believe they’ve not quite got over All Fools Day……

A Forestry England spokesperson explained, “Since Our Shared Forest was published, there have been many reports misrepresenting an internal discussion document called ‘A Way Forward’, which was prepared at the request of our landlord, the Savernake Estate. This paper makes no formal proposals for the Forest. It was drafted in response to concerns raised by the Estate regarding the impact of public access, particularly in light of growing visitor numbers since the start of the COVID pandemic.”

Their wishy-washy, ‘we were just having a laugh, you know, didn’t mean it,’ excuses continues thus, “The document explores potential ways we might work to deliver some of our management commitments within Our Shared Forest. A number of our aspirations for a sustainable and resilient Savernake can only be achieved with Estate consent, so early discussion between tenant and landlord is essential. Public access within Savernake Forest has always been with the agreement of the Estate. Any changes to public access can only happen with the consent of the Estate trustees. That internal document has been extensively quoted out of context so we have published it in full on our website so that the community may read it themselves.”

“We recognise and appreciate the great depth of affection felt for Savernake Forest. In response to the extraordinary level of interest in Our Shared Forest, we have extended our feedback survey until 22nd April to ensure as many people as possible are able to review the information and have their say.” The document is HERE.

So, what? They were just brainstorming, you know, knocking some ideas across the table, oh, cheeky monkeys. Call me stupid, I’ve been called far worse, but why would you even contemplate closing the forest, and even if you thought it might be something worthy of acting on, why would you publish your inane plotting online?! It’s not “misrepresenting” at all, it clearly states, “The redevelopment of Postern Hill would be coupled with the closure of the Grand Avenue, and indeed the rest of the Forest for vehicular access by visitors.”

Yet it apparently makes “no formal proposals for the Forest,” and “Any changes to public access can only happen with the consent of the Estate trustees,” begging the question, what was the point in it anyway, then, being owner of the forest Lord Cardigan has been on the telebox, I see the dude, strongly objecting to the notion?!

This change of heart/pathetic excuse (delete as appropriate) has nothing to do, either, with Marlborough Times reporting the “applause after applause” from a large crowd resounding throughout the Court Room in the Town Hall at Monday 11th April’s full Town Council meeting, “where councillors vented their opposition to Forestry England’s ‘internal’ suggestion to close Savernake Forest to all vehicles,” then?!

The article rightfully states, “Councillor Nick Fogg was vehement in his condemnation of the ‘plans’ presented by Forestry England, and whilst in their defence, they claimed that their words had been ‘misrepresented’, Councillor Fogg made clear that, having (like all other Councillors) read and digested the Forestry England ‘internal discussion document’ in its entirety that in his view it ‘was a serious proposal’.”

I, as I’m sure most others were overjoyed to read that, “in the end Councillors voted emphatically and unanimously to object to any such proposals, echoing the resounding opinion of the community at large and those packing the hall,” because whoever concocted this daft-as-a-brush proposal sure has an egg factory on their stupid face!

I also love that the paper classed it ‘Disneyfication.’ As in: “Next step? A statement from either Forestry England or the Forestry Commission setting out exactly what they are proposing regarding vehicular access, the future of the Postern Hill car park (enlarging to 350 cars / ‘Disneyfication’ / charging?) and if they are really going to ‘develop’ this part of Savernake Forest to commercial ends with the ecological consequences. Or let the natural and glorious beauty of Savernake Forest be there for all to enjoy.” The finale of which is perfect. Explore the Grand Avenue area of Savernake and you will find some deep craters, my good friend who grew up in forest referred to them as “bomb holes.”

Now, I always believed it was just a term of phrase, pondering why German WW2 pilots would target a forest, until the day I took my son to a war exhibit at Wiltshire Museum and perchance to browse some old photos with an informative chap, who was a police officer during the era. I found a photo of the gates of Grand Avenue, heavily guarded, and asked him what was happening here. He told me it was a bomb disposal area, and the penny dropped.

And here’s why I bring the subject up: those bomb-holes today are teeming with life, shrubs, grass and trees have grown over them, wildlife nests inside, because a forest replenishes itself over time, naturally, because, well, because it’s a blooming forest and that’s what forests do! You’d have thought an organisation called Forestry England might’ve figured this out themselves. No matter what damage a man walking his dog, a family enjoying a picnic or even, dare I say it, minor acts of anti-social behaviour, might cause in the forest, they cannot be any worse than exploding a WW2 bomb, you’d have thought?!

Leaving me to conclude, for what it’s worth, this proposal was as predicted, simply a suggestion to profiteer from people’s freedom to roam this beautiful feature on our Wiltshire landscape, disingenuously disguised as attempting to environmentally aid it; what a terrible, greedy thought bubble. I’ve got to leave it there, for the sake of my blood pressure.

Though to fully conclude, please, I beg of every potential fly-tipper, litterbug and general knuckle-dragger, please don’t fuel their fire, and give them opportunity or an excuse to pursue this, respect and look after our forests and woodlands, please; I asked nicely, three times at the last count!

Trending……

Devizes Library Hopes To Start Lego Club

Everything is awesome upon hearing that Devizes Library is hoping to start a regular Lego Club, and they are asking folk to donate unwanted Lego…

Shakespeare Live – Autumn Tour

An early and rarely-performed play, ‘Two Gentlemen of Verona’ has feisty heroines, lovelorn & bickering young men, dictatorial parents, foolish suitors, cross-dressing, letters galore, wild…

Retro Relics Games Cafe Opening In Lavington

With a wide selection of family-friendly and retro board games, RPGs such as Magic the Gathering, Warhammer and Pokémon, and serving tea, coffee, cakes and, oh,…

Love Devizes Issues? The Local Facebook Group Which Banned a Covid Community Support Page

On the day the first Ukraine refugees arrive in Devizes, and government shockingly announces its intentions to set up concentration camps for illegal refugees in Rwanda, it seems Devizes Town Councillor Iain Wallis has played his small part in the hypocrisy, by banning the Facebook page Love Devizes Covid19 Support from his large and influential group, Devizes Issues.…..

Love Devizes Covid19 Support was set up at the beginning of the pandemic, its ethos to enable “the people of Devizes to support, inspire and strengthen one another,” has seen volunteers running needed shopping and prescription trips for those self-isolating, manning advise phone lines, has advised and assisted with the vaccine rollout at the Corn Exchange, and has been a pillar of support in our community.

As the focus on the pandemic is gradually easing, the group has partially turned its attention onto the Ukraine crisis, extending a warm hand of advice and support for those entering the Devizes area, fleeing war-torn zones, and those taking in refugees. It continues to support the community too, helping to create and promote the Devizes Living Room, a social gathering group which meets in the Shambles.

The Facebook group not to be confused with many others of similar names, has come under scrutiny of bias and censorship beyond its set out rules and regulations; heck, I was banned and so too has the Devizine page for hinting Boris Johnson may not be the deity he’s made out to be! So, yeah, I’ll confess some bitterness, because at best what Devizes Issues has done is create a worthy forum of local matters. It remains open to political debate on local and international matters, and encourages members to participate in such discussions. Though it appears more and more the group will not tolerate anyone disagreeing with admin, but to outright ban a community group created to help those most in need is seriously counterproductive to the reason it exists, surely?!

Admin, Councillor Iain Wallis has not given comment reasoning the ban at this time, but I would encourage the group decides its precise purpose and not pose as an impartial community group when quite clearly it holds an agenda, for whatever that reasoning is, intended to block community support groups. Holy Moly, the issue in Devizes is the Devizes Issues; it’s all getting a bit Jackie Weaver out here!

Trending…….

Savernake Forest Restrictions; Residents Say No!

Marlborough residents rally online to criticise Forestry England’s proposals for Savernake Forest. The questionable survey’s deadline has been extended to the 22nd of April, and a previously internal document called Savernake Forest – a Way Forward, has been published which suggests serious restrictions of access to the forest, in favour for paid parking facilities and a polarized vision for future usage.…

“We are so privileged to have this beautiful and ancient forest on our doorstep,” one pleaded, “where we can freely wander where we wish. The Forestry Commission wish to change this. No vehicular access through the forest, paid parking for vehicles at Postern Hill and designated walking routes.”

Early one Sunday morning, mid-to-late nineties, and police arrive at a location off the Grand Avenue in Savernake Forest. They tell us the owner of the forest, Lord Cardigan, has reported a party. “But all we see is a few kids tidying up,” they observed with mirth, and went on their merry way. We carried on our labour, binbags in hand; we might’ve had a party, that much would be telling, but we were adamant we’d leave the forest as we found it, and mother nature would do its thing.

We did this because while we had our fun, we also respected the forest, and I don’t believe for one second any past or future generation’s youth would think any different. Long before it was “our” back garden, and I’d like to think long after, Savernake Forest has served tourists and residents alike, as a free, natural and muti-purpose attraction. It’s 4,500 acres, for crying out loud, you can have a party one end and folk can have a bike ride at the other and each be oblivious to what the others are doing!

Residents appear to take the opinion if it’s not broken, but Forestry England say “our Vision for Savernake is to nurture a shared forest unlike any other. By allowing the decisions we take to be guided by the natural potential of the land, as well as by the varied influences of our ever-changing world, we will create a diverse and inclusive forest that is a global example of what can be achieved through forward-thinking forestry.” Ah, yeah, sounds nice; when can we see it? NEVER!!

It continues to use environmental issues as a smokescreen to create a polarized plan restricting access to only the formal recreation facilities at Postern Hill.

Despite claiming the “popularity [of Postern Hill] is having a detrimental impact on the ecological values, and aesthetic values,” rather than continue the free access elsewhere to spread footfall out, the vision is for “Postern Hill being developed as the only visitor hub, where a new, larger car park (probably 300 to 350 spaces), is provided with proper toilets, play and café facilities. Leading out from the new car park would be a series of trails.” Naturally, this would be “coupled with the closure of the Grand Avenue, and indeed the rest of the Forest for vehicular access by visitors.”

Here’s the obvious clinch, the carpark will be a paid carpark, and herein the penny drops; this conservative value which seems to hate the concept no one is profiteering, even if it’s entirely natural. Similar misguided logic as the construction of a tax-funded yet chargeable mound at Marble Arch, or a tunnel under Stonehenge so one can’t see our wonder of the world unless one pays. The vision for Savernake Forest is rinsed with “spin, mis-information and claims masquerading as facts on a grand scale,” calls one local resident.

“The whole survey is worded in such a manipulative way,” suggests another Marlborough resident, “it can’t even be taken seriously! You can want all the things it tricks you into agreeing with without wanting to allow profiteering and restricted use of a beautiful local asset.”

One submits, “I’m sure the number of pheasant pens has increased in the last few years – does that count as diversity of wildlife? Certainly, a reason the Estate side that run them might be supportive and why they wouldn’t be keen on people walking around freely.” And on this, another speculates, “what they are up to is keep the public out so they can lease the bottom half of the Forest out for shooting and stalking deer.”

On several occasions the report points the finger at antisocial behaviour, that “the historic nature of the Grand Avenue, in terms of landscaped parkland; as well as the biodiversity and aesthetic values of the Forest are poorly served by the unregulated use of the Grand Avenue by the public for recreational access, anti-social activities and using the Avenue as a through route, or ‘rat-run’.” As if one can eradicate anti-social behaviour by banning everyone from a particular place it might just happen at.

One resident rightly points out the Grand Avenue is far from a sensible option as a rat-run, “more like a snail run,” they say, “as it takes three times as long driving through the Avenue as it does to drive round via Bedwyn or Burbage; it’s like these muppets have never visited the Forest!” And be safe in knowledge I agree, you really don’t want to race through Grand Avenue unless you want wrecked suspension and deer impact craters on your bodywork.

The lane is a beautiful drive, take it less than 20mph, find a place to stop, take a wander, have a picnic, that’s its purpose, and so should it continue to be. “As a resident of Marlborough for 64 years,” Barry tells me, “And a constant user of Grand Avenue, the idea of closing it is totally absurd and only being carried out for monetary gain by the commission. Their survey was, to say the least misleading, although I did highlight the removal of access should not be considered. The forest has been a lifesaver before, during and after lockdown, you only have to drive through it to see the amount of use it gets.”

Usage it might get, but the scale of it means it’s far from overcrowded. Steve expresses his concern to me, “the busiest part is at Postern, but even then, it’s not crowded. But with a car park and cafe it will be crazy. The rest of the forest is never busy, it’s mainly locals that walk in the less well-known areas. Of course, no one likes pollution from cars, but with Savernake being adjacent to two major roads the small amount of traffic on the grand avenue is like a piss in the ocean. I was bought up with the forest as our back yard; my mother who is 87 with early dementia and not very good mobility loves it when I take her in the car through the Avenue.”

Whatever their broken logic, it seems restriction of Savernake Forest, so dear to local residents is a detrimental supposition of liberty, “a lesson in how to alienate all green and nature followers,” suggested an online commentor. Another says “a project of this scale must be preceded by an Environmental Impact Analysis. I can’t find any evidence that one has been done. No EIA no planning consent.”

Please contact the Forestry Commission if you feel strongly about this. Every letter/email WILL help.

Trending…….

Swindon Rocks for Children In Need

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Song of The Week: Meg

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Devizine Podcast Sept 23

Pinky promise or idol threat? I’ll let you decide, but the aim is to produce a monthly podcast after prototypes at the end of last…

Is it Possible to Live Rurally and be Impartial towards Blood Sports?

My thought for the day, as I’ve permission to republish an article by the Hunts Sabs Association, suggesting with relevant and shocking examples, Wiltshire Police are lacking in pursuing these rural crimes.

I will direct your attention to the piece, but figure I’d attempt my own spin, else what’s the point in owning a blog in the first place?! So, I’m desperately trying to see the other side of the coin, to avoid accusations of bias. But every time forced to the opinion fox hunting and other blood sports is gratuitously barbaric, trail hunting, for many, is a smokescreen, and our police are clearly not proactive on the issue……

We trashed our common room in art college despite warnings they’d close it, and eventually they did. My bitterness toward the decision was driven by naïve self-centred arrogance of delinquency, but there came a point of feeling guilt that future students wouldn’t benefit from the facility due to our incompetence; reactionary anarchist I once was!

I ponder this “few ruined it for a rest” lesson as I browse hunting social media groups and pages. To momentarily steer against the hunt sabs, or FWGs, as is the favoured term we’ll use hereafter, an abbreviation of Frontline Wildlife Guardians, these glossy and glorious shows of countryside pursuits are embellished with glamorous images, (as our featured image of the Tedworth Hunt,) promoting family, fundraising events, that while a world apart from my own lifestyle, the legality and moral obligation of it is not entirely inconceivable, and the thought it’s not all just a charade hiding a cruel blood sport is a possibility, for some hunts.

Though as FWGs collate irrefutable evidence some hunts are clearly ignoring the law and continuing hunting by using trial hunts as a smokescreen, and in doing so are met with violent retort, county constabularies are working with campaigners and nationally progress is gradually happening, Wiltshire Police are accused of failing by comparison. The well-publicised poor policing of the violence at Lacock on Boxing Day is clear it needs addressing, FWGs report the incident is the tip of the iceberg.

Got to rub the worry-lines of my forehead here. The article points to five ongoing investigations they’ve been reliably informed are ongoing with the Avon Vale Hunt. It states, “alongside a Hunting Act investigation, there are investigations into assaults on sabs: in January, a Bristol sab was punched in the head by an Avon Vale terrier man who had been stopped digging out a fox from a badger sett. The saboteur was knocked unconscious and spent several nights in hospital with a brain bleed, precisely the sort of serious injury that can have tragic consequences and as ironically highlighted by Avon Vale fox hunting Tory MP for North Wiltshire James Gray in the ‘One Punch Can Kill’ campaign.”

I’m glad to hear they’re investigated, but it’s hardly proactive, where are the police when these assaults occurred? Intelligence should tip them off when hunts happen, and they should be policed akin to Saturday night at a city nightclub; there’s terrible acts of violence hiding in our rural fields, and not just on wildlife. Instead, Wiltshire Hunt Sabs told the Hunts Sabs Association, “with so many criminal investigations and allegations ongoing, we would have expected at least a modicum of police suspicion that these gangsters could possibly have been killing foxes, and also aren’t opposed to throwing the odd punch – or ten – at those of us who try to stop them and just maybe they have been doing exactly this for decades. Instead, what we have faced from the police is an unleashing of bias and abuse of power as our publicly funded police service is being used to protect a violent criminal hunt to carry on breaking the law.”

“We also had several officers tell us we could remedy the situation by ‘leaving the area’ whilst simultaneously acknowledging we were there lawfully. Can you imagine them telling someone being assaulted on the high street that they should go home and leave the assailant in peace?”

Besides, eyes of suspicion are on police bias over the Lacock Boxing Day bash-a-sab fest, being one of the two officers affiliated with the hunt personally reportedly took time to chat with her pro-hunt friends and “turned her back” on the violence. The sabs claiming “she was not just an ex-rider, we are also told her own horse was at the hunt on the 27th December 2021, being ridden by a friend of hers, who – we have been told – is also the partner of the violent terrierman responsible for the brain bleed in our Bristol hunt sab.”

The public deserve to know if officers on the scene made any calls for advice or back up, Police say they cannot correspond as the incident is under investigation. Police officers swear an oath of impartiality, the PCC doesn’t and Phillip Wilkinson made full use of this on Twitter, calling out FWGs as “bullies,” suggesting he was “not impressed when I witness grownups wearing balaclavas screaming in face of children who just happen to be riding a pony,” yet doesn’t appear to be able to back this bold claim up with evidence, and why, oh why would anyone take children to a fox hunt anyway?! I’m not associated in any manner with this group of Wiltshire Hunt Sabs and they never reveal their identity to me, but his claims are vastly different from my own dealings with them, as they appear to be the pacifist campaigners one would obviously perceive them to be.

If there are hunts really following the law with fake trails and they are in control of the bloodhounds to prevent them side-tracking from the scent of passing wildlife, as they insist they are, they’re unfortunate victims akin to the future generations of art students in my common room scenario; if some can’t be trusted, and police are informed, educated and trained to investigate, or as accusations suggest, seem to bizarrely favour the illegal pro-hunters, I say pull the plug on the lot, ban trail hunts and apologies if you really trail hunt legally, but the few ruined it for the others.

I’m drawn to the Tedworth Hunt, for example, who parade an “East Kennet Fun Ride,” as a Facebook event, defining it as “3 or 8 miles of beautiful riding on the Wiltshire Countryside with optional jumps.” Not for me, but I’ve no problem with this. Yet the accompanying photo shows a fellow dressed in traditional hunt uniform loading bloodhounds onto a trailer. Why would you need dogs if you’re only horse-riding I ponder? Why does the Tedworth Hunt carry pistols if it’s only a fake trial, does a fake trail open-fire first?! And one more question I’ll relay next paragraph, as, admittedly, therein lies my lack of knowledge on the subject, perhaps there’s good reason for it, I dunno, no one tells me, but why still call these hunting-related happenings hunts at all, and why would anyone support the philosophy of butchering of wildlife by subjecting the activity to replica scenarios if they didn’t secretly wish fox hunting to return? Would it not be better to rid ourselves of the entire culture surrounding it?

Armed Tedworth Hunters hardly project the same image as our featured one

The Wiltshire Hunt Sabs are the only ones who will communicate with me on the subject respectfully. This will post on social media and be met with many comments in support, and a few aggressive, hate-filled pro-hunt responses, but not one will contain any polite or reasonable counterargument, no one will invite me to view it from their angle, leading me to wonder why, if everything is tickety-boo, all dandy and legal, why they project this rage, why do they seem to hire these thugs to accost and assault members of the public for merely attempting to protect the wildlife they themselves claim to love and appreciate? Why all the hate if they’re operating legally, it doesn’t add up, unless, I conclude, they’re hiding something.

I note posts on hunting Facebook pages about how they love their hounds, but we’ve seen some shoot them dead if they underperform. If trail hunting is supposed to be this fun and harmless pursuit, it’s hardly non-competitive for the hounds they claim to adore. The point is, no matter how much I scan these glossy representations of modern hunting organisations, they suffer inane hypocrisy; why persist to support something historically barbaric and inhumane?

Because they claim they’re not fox hunting, the pre-Hunting Act excuse of culling is defunct, and the argument for trail hunts seems to rest on this baffling “traditional values” defence. For this I’d like to point out Victorian coalmines employed children to sit in dark passageways for twelve-hour shifts, their only glimmer of light being when the cart pulled into their section and they tugged it along to the next. Yet to suggest we send children down mines, that they don’t actually have to work down there, just sit there in the dark because it’s “tradition” would be ludicrous, but not unlike this concept of trail hunting.

A rather odd looking trail hunt

Yet, as observed by our Cobra Kai, PCC Wilko, they love taking their kids out to butcher wildlife, apparently, which is, to be frank, twisted beyond all reason, and concludes; it’s impossible to live rurally and be impartial towards blood sports. I could label “screaming in face of children who just happen to be riding a pony,” as complete and utter codswallop for the purposes of propaganda but that would imply the law are defending the unlawful, which cannot be true; who’s zooming who? Who knows what to think anymore? Other than perpetually the argument never settles, so obvious answer is ban it completely, it no longer serves a purpose, only causes friction.

Get a new hobby, preferably one unsupportive of murder!

Trending….

Weekly Roundup of Events in Wiltshire: 20th -26th September 2023

With the last minute heatwave looking as if it’s packing its bags, we move into autumn still with lots to do locally, the silver lining of the clouds above…..   Not comprehensive, as I tell you each time, more will be added to our event calendar as we move through the week and they come to…

by Darren Worrow

Song of the Week: Canute’s Plastic Army

Swindon Celtic folk at it’s finest, Anish Harrison and Neil Mercer smash it again, this one is sublime, it’s called Wild, no spoilers, just listen, immerse yourself, and perhaps buy it for a quid, you can’t even get a chocolate bar for that these days! Canute’s Plastic Army played Swindon Shuffle last night, too early…

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Beyond Reverence: Deadlight Dance’s Debut Album

According to the confines of youth cultures of yore, I shouldn’t like Marlborough-based duo Deadlight Dance’s debut album, Beyond Reverence, as while attempts to fit into my new surroundings of Marlborough meant my teenage musical tastes meandered in a rock direction, I drew the line at “goth,” but on matured and eclectic reflection, still don’t…

by Darren Worrow

If Devizes to Westminster Race is Under Threat from Parking Fees, What About Other Events?

Hats tipped to Geoff of our beloved Gazelle & Herod, reporting on a looming row between Devizes Town Council and Wiltshire Council over changes to free car parking which could pose a threat to the historic Devizes to Westminster canoe race. Yet I ask, where will this end, what about the county’s numerous other events, and why should one be singled out?

I’ve no issue drawing your attention to his article, even if they refuse to do likewise when making a front-page splash on a story we broke, and mentions any and everyone else except Devizine, including, for some completely baffling and inconsequential logic, the Queen! She wasn’t there rescuing swans, guys, you read it here first. She was more likely at her palace licking her lips!

Anyway, I digress; it points out, the historic Devizes to Westminster canoe race has been running since 1948, but now, following Wiltshire Council’s decision to end the town council’s provision of free parking for events, organisers of the canoe race could face a bill of £2,300 to cover the cost of the parking spaces that they need to stage the event.

The article goes on to explain Devizes councillors are to meet to decide whether the town council should provide emergency funding to pay for the parking spaces itself. Furious, it states, with one saying that Wiltshire Council gave “no thought at all” to the consequences for events posed by the change in free parking.

It is, sadly a tragic scraping of the public’s piggy-bank, either way the organisers of the Devizes to Westminster canoe race have to pay, or we all do should Devizes Town Council foot the bill. Yet, is taking from “emergency funding,” really justifiable, I mean, does paying for parking on any special occasion really constitute an emergency? And where would it end, what about our other special occasions?

Likely a cascade will ensue, and rightly so if you single out one event and pay for everyone to park. What about carnival, street festival, Lantern Festival, Arts Festival, Beer Festival, Food & Drink Festival, Full-Tone Festival? The list goes on, and goes beyond Devizes; what about Pewsey Carnival, Marlborough Mop Fair, The Basil Brush Family Show comes to Swindon Arts Centre on April 2nd, you can’t expect me to fork out parking fees for that, Wiltshire Council, surely?!

Oh no, that one is out of your jurisdiction! But while larger towns and cities can soak up parking fees, because there’s an expectance you’ll have to pay, the cost of parking on daily basis in market towns is enough to bear, let alone those rare opportunities we get to hold events. Aside the environmental and cost impact of having to circulate a town centre twelve times looking for free on-street parking, it is economically detrimental too.

Maybe what is needed is people power, a protest over the changes to free parking, rather than individual town councils cherry-picking events to single out and cover the cost of with public money, when what events are important to some are maybe not as important to others, and in turn, other events are more important to them, if you catch my meandering drift?!

And what needs addressing, is this raking back the budget deficit of more than £27 million from the public for the clear misuse of public spending by our county council, the millions forked out to pay for a PCC re-election, because the thought of anything other than a Conservative PCC is unbearable for them, for example.

Devizes councillors will meet on Tuesday March 29th to decide on whether to fund the parking for this year’s canoe race. A town council spokesman said Wiltshire Council had requested talks on how the cost of Devizes funding the race could be minimalised. Here’s a thought, park them on the Green. If they’re rowing to Westminster I’m sure carrying a canoe to the canal from the Green is child’s play?

Here’s another thought, and it is just a thought; all for one and one for all. If the Canoe race gets free parking so too should our other major events.

Trending…..

Ed Byrne: Tragedy Plus Time

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Atari Pilot are Waiting for the Summer

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Don’t Give Up Now, Ruby Darbyshire

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Update on the Crammer

Devizes Town Council announced the result of an assessment by the Environment Agency yesterday, following last week’s outbreak of pollution in Crammar, a spillage from a van fire on the road aside it. Their advise was simply that a sheen “on the surface of the water usually looks worse than it is and although unsightly is a good sign that the quantity of the contaminate is low.”

If the accident has done one good thing, it’s opened a Pandora’s box concerning the overall suitability for wildlife on and around the Crammar, and questions I believe need addressing with a whole heap more clarity than this rather vague Environmental Report.

As much as I respect their professional experience and want this to be actual, they did not heartbreakingly witness Swan Support trudge through the pond to rescue swans drenched in thick black oil, because no environmental officer or town councillor took the opportunity to attend the rescue, no matter what social media groups might suggest. It has left me pondering if “usually looks worse than it is” is adequate, usually being the operative word.

It’s been a week since we reported the contamination, a week for it to have dispensed more evenly across the Crammar. On their Facebook post, the Council continued to inform the Environmental Agency stated, “it is difficult to clean as it is a thin film and using an oil spill boom won’t be effective. If the weather conditions mean that the wind blows the contamination to the edge of the Crammer then a boom might be more effective to absorb it, but it is more likely to degrade and disperse.” 

Okay, I can buy most of this, but again there’s ambiguity with word usage, such as more likely, well, I find myself asking how likely? The weather has been clement and wind has reduced to a gentle breeze of recent. It is unclear when this assessment was made. As it is the oil has dispersed fairly well, though few ducks have returned to the Crammar.

The bigger issue is, though, it has been raised that the last time the pond was dredged it was discovered the drains taking rainwater off the road flow directly into the Crammar. Clearly pollution has been a gradual process over many decades, as the rain water mixes with spilt oils from vehicles from the road; the fire was the poo flavoured icing on the cake.

The statement from the Council continues to question the fire crew too, stating “the Environment Agency have reviewed the Fire Service report and advised that most of the fuel should’ve been burnt off.” Is it just me here, reading too much into this; most of the fuel SHOULD’VE been burnt off? But was it, how can we be so sure? Because the grand finale is: “having reviewed this information it was deemed unnecessary for a site visit to be made.” It almost connotes the fire service was at fault here, when surely it is their priority to put the fire out, ensure safety, and the fact is Devizes Fire crew went above and beyond, by doing the best they could to protect the wildlife, while the Environmental Agency rolled up days later and the Council deemed it not worthy of their attention!

This is the Crammar we’re talking about, a much love facility, a historic tourist attraction, and it seems to me to be treated like a giant puddle, no more worthy than a pothole. Swan Support suggested the area as wholly unsuitable for wildlife, particularly for the swans, as there was no natural food source; they relied on handouts. On one social media thread someone even suggested mouldy bread and leftover takeaways were their staple diet, speculation this maybe, but it was evident those rescued were malnourished, in such poor condition they couldn’t fly away.

Good folk are now asking us as to the welfare of the rescued swans and if they’ll be returning, like we’re experts, when we’re not, just concerned residents. Thankfully we have heard back that the swans are doing well. But surely, we have to accept to return them to the Crammar may not be the best option for them, swans are territorial and new cygnets will find their own natural way to the pond by May, and the cycle continues.

I implore Devizes Town Council to reassess this issue. I accept there is no overnight solution, but with no natural food source for wildfowl the Crammer is unsuitable and potentially harmful to wildlife. I’m no expert but would hope for Council to seek further specialised advise.

I believe issues which need to be looked into is creating a wild area aside the pond, adequate for a natural food source. I believe the overflow pipes, if flowing into the pond need redirecting into a drain, so the water is less polluted in general, and not just in event of an incident such as the recent fire. And I would seriously consider the safety issues of having the roadside of the Crammar as the concrete slope leading directly onto the road, as it currently is; if ducks and swans don’t wander onto the road, what if a swan scared a child who did?

Let’s look to a better future for this landmark, cleaner, safer, conservational and obliging to supporting wildlife. Who’s with me?

Can we get some feedback from Devizes Town Council this will be discussed as soon as feasible, or what, do I gotta sort out a petition?! Thank you!

Trending…….

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Swings and Roundabouts; Hope for Dilapidated Playgrounds in the Devizes Area?

A lengthy but worthwhile report on the state of our playparks and those intending to do something about it….

August 3rd 2019, and I’d had enough of marching to parish council meetings, emailing Wiltshire Council and talking to brick walls, unsure if I did the latter, but it certainly felt like it. So, I published my rant about a village playpark left to dilapidation for well over three years.

Both swings had been taken down, and a dangerously sharp metal baseplate is all that remains of a broken bouncy chicken, the want of repairing these, what’s essentially half the play equipment in the community playpark, has been lost in a tangle of red tape. Wiltshire Council own the site, and in their so-called “transfer of assets,” which roughly translates to passing the buck to local busy-bodies, Rowde Parish Council asked they repair the broken equipment beforehand, and because of the delay the playpark was conveniently brushed under the carpet.

February last year I bugged Councillor Laura Mayes with it, who claimed to have secured over £20,000 funding from Wiltshire Council to re-design the playground, despite all I wanted was them to fix the existing equipment, and she ran with it as a major pledge for her election campaign.

Am I here to bring you a fairy-tale ending? Only on paper.

It sprinkled optimism, the children who originally played here have grownup and had children of their own in the time it has taken Wiltshire Council to fix a swing and replace a bouncy chicken, and they’ve STILL not done it; you hold out hope they’ll build you a whole new railway station?!

I’m told the transfer of assets is just weeks away, but after six years of waiting, ranting and election pledges as broken as the bouncy chicken, I’ll believe it when I see it.

All about priorities, isn’t it? Swings and bouncy chickens aren’t going to get Mr Kruger to Westminster any faster. Playparks hold no interest to me personally either, councillors; my children long grown out of them, but maybe there’s something wrong with me, the part that gives a hoot.

The part which recalls the joy my children once had, the joy I once had, playing in the park, that most other adults seem to have so easily forgotten; particularly those who seem to consider those little people are not of voting age. Aside, playparks provide essential wellbeing and psychical education for our youngest, they learn social interaction there, dexterity and balance.

My brother and I on a 1970s style health & safety inspected slide!!

They need prioritising, particularly if you enjoy a Facebook rant on how teenagers are terrorising your neighbourhood. Tenaciously they’re linked; literally swings and roundabouts, I’ve heard some residents in Devizes want their community parks to be closed as they attract rowdy teenagers. There’s anti-social behaviour because nothing is provided for them to do, and by cutting off activities for the youngest you believe will solve it for the next generation? Why not cut off your nose in spite your face too?!

Not all Doom and Gloom

Devizes Lions supported this new playground at All Cannings School last year

Enraged residents taken to local Facebook groups is a near everyday scenario, last one I saw was the fence and climbing equipment behind the old barracks had been removed, but as usual such threads only produce a barrage of speculation, whereas at the beginning of the month, Councillor Jonathan Hunter was encouraged by my grievance on the issue, and set up a report to investigate the state of all playparks in Devizes. These minutes are published, but as with most Council meetings, who really trudges through billions of insignificant applications for an extension to a greenhouse or a churchyard which needs its weathercock cleaning?!

So, here’s the results of Devizes Town Council findings, you need to tell me if they’re accurate, because I get confused with so many playparks which one is which. Hearsay tells me Dowse Road is in desperate need of repair, Wadworth and Spitalcroft Roads are still chained up, and one on Festival close is closed too.

We all should note with importance, again it’s this transfer of issues argument, where the Town Council have taken responsibility for a number of playgrounds and the report explains, “at the time of the transfer, many of the areas were closed due to maintenance issues and the Open Spaces team have been gradually working their way through the list of closures to reopen them where they can. The sites that have not been opened have more serious safety concerns and need a decision by this committee how to proceed.” So, should you choose to go through the proper channels rather than whine-hole on Facebook, this is the reasoning you’ll likely get, if any.

Okay here we go, just give me second to correct the councillor’s basic grammar and don’t forget to call them out to me, if they’re tugging their own tugboats!

The report flagged three playgrounds in need of major attention. Wadworth Road, they say is currently closed because during the last inspection much of the equipment was flagged as unsafe. Part of the issue with the equipment on this site is its wooden construction as there is some rot. However, to undertake core test sampling with reports is about £250 per sample and each piece of equipment will need to have several tests and there is a high probability it will fail; therefore, in officers’ opinion, given the costs to simply test for something that is likely to fail, officers suggest that there is some local consultation with residents as this is another site where young people gather and have been involved with anti-social behaviour.

Festival Close was closed when it was taken over from Wiltshire Council as it has failed safety inspection as a result of shrinking safety surface. The cost of replacement is £11,269. However, a number of residents are not in favour of the playground being reinstated and therefore the site may benefit from some local consultation.

One of three on Massey Road was closed when Devizes Town Council took on the site, with all of the wooden equipment beyond cost of effective repair. Given the proximity of this play area to the two others on the estate, officers decided to remove the equipment and return the area to a green space, which was welcomed by the residents.

The others are apparently open, some with advisories.

Alan Cobham Road:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. There is some shrinkage of the play safety surface, but at this time no action is needed.

Avon Road: Recreational Field Avon Road

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. Some equipment has been replaced over the last few years and there are no outstanding issues.

Bellvedere Road:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. There are no outstanding issues.

Brickley Lane:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. Last year some of the safety surface was replaced with a loose rubber crumb. It was the first time the Council had trialled these systems and officers are not fully convinced it would work on all our sites where a safety surface is required.

In recent months the issue of dogs being exercised in the area has come to the fore as owners are not clearing up. Signs have been put up a couple of times, telling owners not to bring their dog into the recreation area and therefore tensions are running high from both sides, with dog owners who say they have used the area for years without incident and parents of children complaining they can no longer let their children use the area.

Editor note: Hi me here, just to point out, this is down to community and moral obligation, rather than council responsibility, like having a conscience and not allowing your dog to shit where children are playing; basic manners and stuff like that!  

Byron Rd:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. There are no outstanding issues.

Cowslip Close Cowslip Close:

This play area is open and is currently in a serviceable condition but offers poor play value with just two pieces of equipment. The play area was closed for a while and during this period officers did not receive any complaints.

This site may benefit from local consultation on its future, with local residents. An estimated cost of a small play area is £60,000.

Dowse Road Wadworth Road:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. The safety surfacing is at the end of its life and does need to be replaced this year. The cost of this is £13,675.

Dundas Close:

This barely a play area as it consists of a single metal hoop. The area provides little in the way of play value and there is a good quality Aster owned play area. There was an approach a few years ago to turn the area into a community garden, but the project was never taken forward.

Fruitfields:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. There are no outstanding issues.

Hillworth Park:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. There is one piece of fitness equipment that failed last year and this is due to be replaced in the summer.

Massey Road 2:

This play area is open and is currently in a serviceable condition but offers limited play value with just two pieces of equipment.

Massey Road 3:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. There are no outstanding issues.

Newman Road:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. There are no outstanding issues.

Osmund Road:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. There are no outstanding issues.

Palmer Road:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. There are no outstanding maintenance issues but over the last year the site has been a centre of young people to gather in the evening, resulting in anti-social behaviour.

Palmer Road2:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. There are no outstanding issues.

Quakers Walk1:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. There are no outstanding issues.

Quakers Walk2:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. There are no outstanding issues.

Skate Park Green Lane:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. There are no outstanding issues.

The Small Green:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. In the not-too-distant future, the safety surfacing will need to be replaced as it is starting to break up, no price has yet been obtained for this work.

White Horse Way:

This play area is open and is in a serviceable condition. There are no outstanding issues.

So, there you have it, maybe you know different. The Council goes on to say, the budget for playgrounds has been doubled to £40,000, but it will only cover ongoing repair cost and improvements rather than finance of new play areas.

Encourage your kids to look after what they’ve got. It only partially falls on the council, another major part is to be played by the residents too, to respect others. If you’re dog owners have some respect for parents, if you’re teenagers hanging out in the park, I know what’s it’s like, I’ve been there too; but try to remember what it was like when you were little, how much you enjoyed the playparks. Should you now prefer the odd spliff there after dark, all’s fair in love and war; but respect the area for the little ones too, by not creating a ruckus and drawing attention to yourselves by net curtain twitchers. Everyone, in my opinion, needs to allow some give and take; kids will be kids, and we were all one originally!

Trending…..

All Aboard for Imberbus on Saturday !

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Dylan Smith: Cruel to be Kind

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7% Pay Rise Accepted and Refuse Workers Return to Work

An end to strike action was announced by The GMB Union for refuse workers in Wiltshire today, as Hills Municipal Collections agreed on a 7% pay rise and Wiltshire Council declared they are due to start recycling collections again from 21st March.

“There must be no retaliation and members return to work tomorrow,” says GMB Union. It’s good news for refuse workers in Wiltshire, and of course the public who have seen collections suspended.

Unison and Unite unions had previously accepted the proposal, as part of the tri-union recognition agreement, but the GMB union rejected it. In a ballot today GMB workers almost unanimously accepted the previous 7% offer, with a promised bonus scheme to be offered to more staff and further uplifts for those on the lowest pay rates.

Nicky Nixon, GMB organiser, said her union was “proud” of its members and would be “carefully observing” how they were treated when they return to work.

Wiltshire Council took to Twitter to inform residents to “put your blue lidded bins and black boxes out on your normal collection day from 21 March,” but also warned “There may still be slight delays with collections due to the recent disruption, so if your bins aren’t emptied on your normal collection day, please leave them out and they will be collected as soon as possible.” And continued to announce those with additional recycling that has mounted up during the disruption can be left in non-black bags and containers, such as plastic crates, next to the recycling bins and the crews will collect them.

Congratulations to everyone involved, common sense prevailed over greed today. Refuse staff thoroughly deserve this pay rise in the least; twitch your net curtain next time they come around, watch how hard these guys and girls work, and I’d suggest, give them a cheer.

Trending…….

Beyond Chippenham Streets

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¡Viva La Devizes Salsa; Eso!

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Atari Pilot New Single

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The Lucky Stars of The Radio Makers

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Devizes Scooter Rally 2023

Have rally will travel; seemingly the scooterist’s motto, chatting to various friendly clubs nationwide, and individuals too, such as a dapper lone mod who rode…

Time to Squash Your Wheelie Bin Down!

If 2020 was the year your wheelie bin went out more than you; times are a changin’……

Early in January Wiltshire Council’s proposed budget for this financial year was published, explaining how they’d bridge a budget deficit of over £27m, but ensured residents “business and communities still get access to vital and high-quality services.” Chew on that while you stand in your recycling bin crushing down the contents for a further two weeks longer than the anticipated GMB Union strike.

WC announced today that due to further industrial action they’ve decided to extend the suspension of recycling collection until April 4th. Seek an alternative method to deal with your recycling, and be warned, you are responsible and liable for any mishap which may occur, from a dodgy fly-tipper to if the wheelie bin cascades down your steps with you in it!

Take to social media and ask if you’ll get a council tax rebate for free laughing emojis; welcome to broken Brexit Britain; hyperinflation, fuel and food shortages, inadequate services, pressured health system to the point of breaking, complete disregard for environmental processes we need to pursue. No, you’ll get a hiked-up council tax rise to pop atop your mounting exorbitant household bills and think yourself lucky you’re not fleeing a war-torn country.

I’ve been waiting seven years for them to fix a broken swing in a playpark, still no sign other than a fibbed election pledge, recycling for a few weeks is just a tiny factor to a bigger picture of total egocentricity in the powers that be.

Wiltshire Council condemned the actions of the GMB union at its depots. Leader of Wiltshire Council Councillor Richard Clewer said “we completely respect people’s right to strike,” but went onto say “these actions are leading to an even more adverse impact on our waste collection services and further disruption for our residents.” You’ve got to ask yourself, is there a point to strike action which doesn’t cause disruption, and how effective would that be?!

Isn’t this the same train of thought which said you can protest, but if we hear you protest and we don’t like it, it’s banned?

Clewer waffles the picket lines were unsafe, the leader of Wiltshire Council’s Labour group Ricky Rogers retorted its political spin. Jolly Rogers suggests “Cllr Clewer should put more effort into getting this dispute settled by asking that the years of annual contract inflation extra public money given to Hill’s is shared with their staff, or better still bring this contract back into public control.” Good on you, hopefully you’ve got the Tories bleating like Bianca from EastEnders; “Riiii-ckaaay!!!”

Does “build back better” mean we start in the 1970s and recede to the Victorian era fron there?

And so it goes, to-and-fro around a county hall, looking good on paper. Another fine example of the benefits of conservative privatisation; mega-profits for the wealthiest, stuff the peasants. Note the Hills family have made no public statement. Perhaps it’s time someone nipped over to Cert Octivan, pulled up some of that private tax-free liquid asset, and share out the gold and silver evenly. Then we can all get along and look forward to the Festival of Brexit without worrying what decade the next recycling collection will be in…. I’ve got a Nigel Farage to dump, can I put it my black bin or would he be offended?

Trending….

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Subject A Takes us to Paradise

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Slug Eggs Are On The Menu!

Join the Devizes Slugs Facebook page they said, be fun they said; I even considered the U in slugs might be a typo. No one expressed the horror which might possibly be revealed to me by these mollusc-loving conservationists, that slug eggs are on the menu in swanky restaurants.

Yet a post went up on the page telling of the group’s “ever increasing horror” of reports of slug eggs being described as a new “super food” which are apparently being actively harvested from the wild by foragers for use in high class restaurants as “Caviar Blanc.’

Now, the trusty ol’ Wikipedia defines caviar blanc as snail caviar, “a type of caviar that consists of fresh or processed eggs of land snails. It is a luxury gourmet speciality produced in France and Poland. They were also a delicacy in the ancient world, also known as “Pearls of Aphrodite” for their supposed aphrodisiac properties.” And it goes onto describing heliciculture snail farming and the process of farming or raising land snails specifically for human consumption.

Look, I’m fine with a pizza, thank you, but if you choose to eat snails eggs properly farmed to ensure the delicate balance of wildlife isn’t effected by your werid obssesion, that’s entiely your perogative, note only I’ll politely decline the offer of dinner at your gaff.

But to forage for slug’s eggs must be upsetting the entire food chain, not to mention a liitle twisted, and should you get swarmed by an angry mafia of crows that’s your own lookout.

But the new trendy grub must have cocaine dealers admiring the profit margin, and can fetch £75 for just 75 grams! Supposing the slime has to be separated prior to human consumption, and that labour intensive method must be costly.

Devizes Slugs, a page for all those interested in Slugs in the Devizes area which emphasises their ecological benefits, defends them against all forms of chemical and physical attack and provides a rescue and shelter service, say “if you see Caviar Blanc on the menu of any local restaurants please tell us as a matter of urgency. This has to stop.”

Firstly you’d need evidence they’ve been foraged rather than farmed, but secondly, as easy money as it might appear, I’d like to suggest it’s really not going to go down well on a first date if, when asked what you do for a living, you reply “I separate slug eggs from slime,” so don’t do it, it’s filthy!

Ten Best Pubs to Hide in When the Volcano in Devizes Erupts Tomorrow

Here it is then, being we’re all buried in ten feet of snow today, your handy guide to the ten best pubs in Wiltshire, who, honestly, haven’t paid us a penny, in which to take refuge in when Mount Devizes volcano erupts, due tomorrow, after elevenses.…..

Wait for the reactions when this is shared on Facebook; “that’s not even a picture of the Devizes volcano, that’s Krakator!” “What poor research, Devizes has a few mounds, but no volcano!” “Other than the headline this article doesnt even mention Devizes,” or better still, “my USGS Volcano Hazards Program app doesn’t predict the Devizes volcano will erupt till next Thursday.”

And I thank them all for bumping the post up the newsfeed and engaging in the perpetual stream of nonsense from those who fail to comprehend how advertorials work. Yet I ask, please excuse me but I’ve no intention of interacting to any comments as I’m busy sharing the same article with all the different Wiltshire town’s Facebook pages, and changing the title to suit them accordingly. And not because I couldn’t give a toss if you believe it, or not, read it, or not, provided you click on the link.

And all for the sake of that very failure to acknowledge clickbait when a majority see it, which makes them work, and why companies spend so much money on them.

Of course, there’s many forms of clickbait, for you to believe are real, and increase our hits, so we can dazzle potential advertisers with stats; we’re just happy going with the flow, doing what other local media are doing, deceiving the general public to increase stats. Not mentioning names, naturally, but when it does erupt in Wiltshire, we’ll be Live on the scene with the other clowns.

Here at Devizine Towers we never tire at perpetually spewing sensationisling nonsense and disguising it as localised current affairs. One ickle scoop is all we need to exaggerate a slight dodgy weather forecast into a headline claiming (enter relevant town name) will be knee-deep in a snowstorm akin to the Star Wars planet Hoth, or one rumble in our high street and our market town has become Belarus overnight.

Or better still, if Brexiteer ‘I’m not paying my staff during lockdown, but please bail me out bestest buddy Boris’ boss, Martin Tim, or whatever which way his two fornames happen to fit, happens to lob a fat cheque in our direction, we will of course kowtow to his every word and publish numerous advertorials, singing his pub chain’s praises, but sneakly disguising them as news.

Here at Devizine, we love the fact the entire modern media is one big Sunday Sport, and look forward to reporting Wiltshire buses found on the moon, and how Danny Kruger ate our hamster.

But, for fear of you realising this is a biting piece of satire, and nothing really to do with the possible volcanic eruption of an imaginary volcano right here in Devizes, I feel impelled to actually tell you the best pubs of which to hide in. Or so help me, they’ll be complaining.

Incidently, these will also be the same best pubs in Wiltshire in which to hide in next week, when the zombie apocalypse hits, predicted to be on Friday.

1 The Silk Mercer, Devizes

2 The Bear, Melksham

3 The Bridge House, Chippenham

4 The Albany Palace, Trowbridge

5 The Bath Arms, Warminster

6 The Sir Daniel Arms, Swindon

8 The Savoy, Swindon

9 The Bell, Salisbury

10 The Reece, Witherspoon

Any connection with these pubs is purely coincidental and nothing to do with backhanders from R Witherspoons inc, thank you, and take care out there, the floor is either lava or snow, whatever,  we’re way past caring; just click on our links or another cute unicorn will be beheaded.

School Children Penalised for Absence Due to Self-Isolating, Why?

Tuesday’s article kicked up a stink on local social media groups, quite literally. They’re still on the subject of dog poo, I’ve moved onto something else now, mate. Something which doesn’t seem to have kicked up quite the fuss I believe it should, and that notion in itself is as symbolic as the issue is to my concluding paragraphs.

But let’s start at the beginning, shall we? Your kid comes home from school with a reprimanding letter, informing you their attendance has been low this year. You pause for recollection, certain the only time they were absent from school was when they had to self-isolate due to a positive covid test.

So, is it just me thinking, why are our children being penalised for obeying the regulations, the law? Why has self-isolating been included as absence due to sickness and reflected badly on their attendance record?

It’s at this point I’m aiming daggers at Devizes School’s new headmaster Julian Morgan, sizing him up and considering meeting him round the back of the science block for, what my offspring informs me the contemporary slang currently is, “a bit of tea;” don’t ask, it was always “spoiling for a rumble,” to me!

However, a reply is despatched from his personal Twitter account, in response to my query and sternly put point that it all “seems rather unfair.” Julian agreed with me, suggesting “it does seem really unfair,” which has to be the first time in my near fifty years I’ve seen eye-to-eye with a headmaster!

Turns out, he’s alright by my book, explaining, to get himself off the hook, “attendance criteria are set by the Department of Education, and its statutory that schools follow the government guidance. I think the government want a comprehensive picture of how Covid is impacting school attendance, and I suppose this is the only real way of doing it.”

Thank you for setting me straight, Mr Morgan, sir, put that cain back, it’s a national issue, I wrote it out a hundred times on the blackboard. I also followed this by penning an email to our supercilious man in parliament, Mr Danny Kruger, and surprise, surprise, the expected failed to hit me between the eyes; to date he felt it pointless to respond. Because, you know, it’s not like he’s our democratically voted voice in government, or that we pay his wages or anything silly like that. I’m sure after digesting this he might have some smug reply which we’ll think ourselves honoured and edit in accordingly…yeah, for sure.

Ruffle my hair, apologise, getting on with more “important things” is the order of the day, it seems, in Westminster. Level up this….

It would’ve been nice to hear from our Monday’s child, fair of face, being it’s the British Cross Children’s Mental Health Week, and if I’m honest, this, I feel, is a small piece in a larger jigsaw, that basically suggests we treat our youth worse than a turd on our lawn. You want kids to be free of mental health issues, start treating them with an ounce of respect, might be a small start, start cutting them some slack. They are not slugs on your lettuce patch, a colony of ants marching across your kitchen lino. They are not a single-minded infestation; they are the ones who will be ruffling the pillows of your sickbed.

I’m still in the dark at how the government will gain a “comprehensive picture of how Covid is impacting school attendance,” if other absences are included under the same marking, but ponder if it would’ve taken too much expertise to divide a spreadsheet with a new column, so that the government could have an even clearer indication, and children wouldn’t be penalised for basically obeying the law. Or what? I am asking too much now? Can we not invest in a Microsoft Excel workshop for these unfortunate parliament office staff, Nadhim?

But of the larger jigsaw, depends on if you like social media, or not. An impossible subjective question, for all the keyboard warrior bigotry and hatred you’ll shamelessly find posted, there’s rays of sunshine mainstream media simply won’t scoop. Like the other day on one of our local Facebook groups, where the family of an elderly lady who dropped her purse posted a photo of two hoodie teenagers on her doorstep, with a story of how, after the lady dropped her purse, these two juvenile hoodlums swept it up, cracked it open, found her address and walked the length of the town to deliver it back to her.

Yet random acts of kindness like this don’t sell newspapers, drama through crime does, and watch the plethora of negativity flow, tarnishing an entire generation for a few wayward youths in the comments of such shared news reports. How they all need stringing up, how they’re all the same, how things looked so different back when you were young, through your rose-tinted specs.

“The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.” Affix caps-lock, subtract grammar and educated thought, and you’d be fooled to think I found this on a local Facebook group post about door-kicking Tik-Tokers, rather than a Socrates quote from 300 B.C-ish; what a Tory twot!

Or how about, “Come mothers and fathers, throughout the land, and don’t criticize, what you can’t understand, your sons and your daughters, are beyond your command, your old road is rapidly agin’, please get out of the new one, if you can’t lend your hand, for the times they are a-changin’,” which was written about your parents?! Face it, it is not a problem with youth of today, it’s a problem with a minority of youth, historically.

UK School Student’s Strike; 1985

In a politically correct era striving for equality, ageism seems exempt, when in my honest opinion it is the crassest, most hypocritical form of all prejudges, being most of us at some point will be the age being targeted! And if you are currently within that target, I’ll let you know a top adult secret, kids; the majority of your parents, your grandparents, and their grandparents behaved in manners far worse than you could possibly fathom, but they choose to forget for the sake of the benefits of whinging; guiltlessness, and to make them feel better about their own wayward past.

And while I’m on honest opinion, I ask you think back to your own fondest memories and wager you were aged similarly, recall what you did, how you partied, celebrated and relished your youthful life. Then think what this generation has been through, what they’ve sacrificed; what you consider your warmest times, to prevent the spread of a pandemic.

They have sacrificed their golden years; they have foregone more than any generation since World War Two. Meanwhile, their influencers are hardly setting a good example, from walking into a supermarket and noting the majority of folk still wearing facemasks are the elderly and the youngsters, to footballers kicking cats to members of parliament who thought the Ministry of Sound was a real government department.   

For crying out loud on Instagram, the idea of penalising students for poor attendance due to obeying the law came from Bullingdon bully leaders who danced on the graves of the infected, whose age should’ve caused them to know better, but their sheer ignorance prevented them. To have had their golden years of trashing Oxford student unions halls and priceless art, burning money in front of the homeless, and other classy schoolboy acts of defiance, but still partied carelessly away today, while the rest of us suffered, and no more than our very own youth, who to dare enjoy themselves came with a ten thousand pound fine, while the regime got away with the insincere apology of a toddler. And you tell the kids to grow up and act responsibly?!

I urge you respond, Danny K, tell me you will nudge Nadhim Zahawi, wake him up and tell him to revise this appalling crime, by simply backtracking and marking students’ absence with a degree of respect for how they obeyed the law, while your bum-chums clearly don’t.

Trending…..

Becca Maule’s Teenage Things

I mean, yeah, press releases can be as handy as sitting next to Einstein in a physics test, but reviewing music isn’t an exact science,…

Devizes Guardians’ Doggie Doo-Doo Bag Dispensers

If the Gazelle & Herod knocked a front page together this week from Facebook discussions about a spate of dog fouling in Devizes, with a frustrated looking Conservative Councillor Iain Wallis about centre, grasping a doggie poo bag, independent party of Devizes Town Council, The Guardians have a suggestion to curb the current controversy; installation of poo bag dispensers in key locations in the town.

Despite some areas of the country, like Ipswich having bulky male vigilantes hilariously dressed as dog poo fairies, all agreed a squad of enforcement officers on patrol was impractical. Iain Wallis, who I’m certain would agree he would look great dressed as a dog poo fairy, suggested in the local rag, “I would like to see the town council set up a task group to gather ideas from the public as to how we can tackle the issue.” Team Dog Poo, we could dub them, arguably apt, you might say, for some members of DTC. But this time, I’m coming to their defense!

Devizes Guardian Councillors Mrs Bridewell and Mrs Burton think the problem might be overcome, at least in part, by offering the bags in dispensers, located in key areas, including Hillworth Park, Brickley Lane Play Area and The Greens. The option will be discussed at Council’s forthcoming Community and Civic Resources Committee.

I’d sincerely hope its workable, but I’m a realist; plus, it’s hardly environmentally friendly. A wide range of reusable doggie poo solutions are available, dog owners only need to Google it and take some responsibility for their pets, and their planet alike. Which while a majority do bag-up, they still tend to use disposable bags, ergo dumping a turd in a bush is actually reducing their carbon footprint; the council could encourage them to break their wallet out and buy a reusable poo bag, because finding a practical solution is a minefield.

Concern is, if this trend continues it’ll become the norm and we’ll rearward to the watch-your-step era of the seventies and eighties, where if you grew up in this time, you’ll recall the fetid white dog poo lining our streets, and brown snowballs being the single most vicious weapon of a snowball fight; is that what you really want? Brown snowball in the chops?

Give a man a doggie poo bag dispenser and you’ll supply a solution for a day, teach the idiot to pick up after his mutt and you’ll avoid non-dog owners complaining why they should fork out their council tax because of the contempt of certain dog owners. Not forgoing, I’d fear bored pranksters, likely the TikTok door-kicker brigade with all the brains of an amoeba, tugging them out of the dispenser for so-called amusement, and we’d have empty dog poo bags flying in the air, and you’d likely step in a turd trying to avoid them; you can’t train stupid, neither can a council.

The Gov site encourages you to shop a dog fouler to your county council, here, this being the only sensible method to report it, but a proactive resolution is another thing. Because, the real solution is so radical it defies all reason, and it’s called a sense of moral obligation, to pick up your doggie’s doings. Yet that’s not something any council can undertake successfully; it is up to the individual.

Thing is, do not sigh and assume you’re living in some degenerating hellhole, most do pick up their doggie doings around here, and the problem is nationwide, not lone to Devizes, probable worse in other areas. But it relies on a common-sense of decency; something seriously lacking in the chosen few who deem themselves above picking up their dog poo, if this is you, I’ve a message for you, don’t get a bloody dog!

Trending….

Simply the Best, CrownFest!

If last year I trundled off the 49 at Bishops Cannings in a blazing heatwave alone, this time things were different; the bus was heaving…

Mantonfest 2023; Best One Yet!

All Images by Gail Foster One of the fundamental elements which makes Mantonfest such an absolutely brilliant festival, aside its beautiful location and friendly atmosphere,…

Devizes Hosts First Pride

Okay, god knows I need my beauty sleep more than most, and on a promise to attend the wonderful Mantonfest, it was only ever going…

Just Meg; an Interview

by Jess Worrow I confess a few nerves about my first interview, in a coffee shop in Chippenham, however after meeting folk singer-songwriter Meg, it…

Rock n Roll Lives; in Melksham!

Found myself in the Sham last night, hail hailing rock n roll at the Assembly Hall, something I’ve been meaning to witness for ages; and I’m pleased to report, they do it with bells on……

Passing through Swindon’s GWR works prior to the Steam Museum, I perchance to natter to an aged engineer prepping a locomotive for display. He frustrated his vocation was fading, and with no apprenticeship, the knowledge would be a lost trade. Art is different from a trade; it lives beyond the creators’ years naturally; it is only hope it inspires enough to attract devotees from future generations.

Creative types rarely contemplate this, tending to live for the moment. Rock n Roll was perhaps the first youth culture to transcend social and political barriers into mainstream. Generations of segregation had worn-out the connection of railroad slaves, mimicking four-beat folk of their masters, and white youths of the 1950s reunited it by blending blues into country, much to the outrage of traditionists. But would those early, wide-eyed rock n rollers have stopped to consider seventy years later their voices would still be ringing out, their fashion would be epitomised and their dances displayed with such enthusiasm, in a market town hall in South-West England?!

Geoff and his wife proudly sit on the door of the Melksham Assembly Hall and welcome me. They have been the backbone of The Melksham Rock N Roll Club since its formation, twenty years ago. Recently two clubs opened in Bristol, he expressed, but prior he’s had free reign of the niche market for a few years. Coupled with winter’s chill and the resistance to head back out post-lockdown, he shrugs, unruffled attendance is slightly down. I pulled up a chair for a chat of all things Buddy Holly to Shakin’ Stevens, then popped inside to see for myself.

Despite his reservations and taking into account the hall is wonderfully spacious, it feels suitably packed in there, if this is an evening of lesser ticket sales it certainly doesn’t show. Devotees of rock n roll have come from afar to attend; Geoff cites members trek from Bristol, and even as far as Essex.

The closest we have here in the ‘Vizes is the Long Street Blues Club, which while spectacular can be a library-like appreciation society; I was shushed in there while thanking Ian for inviting me! Here appreciation is displayed rather differently, events aptly referred to as “dances,” while hold factors akin to many clubs, a live band, DJ and a raffle, the most astounding part was the dancing. There was no way I dare step onto that dancefloor to be showed up, as matured and authentically attired regulars would put upcoming generations to shame with their astounding moves! Trade in your gym membership, come here instead for a rock n roll workout!

With poodle skirts whirling around refined gents in double-breasted Chesterfields and winklepickers, it’s an impressive spectacle. I was interested to observe the age demographic, concerned, like the steam engineer, for his disappearing trade. I’d spoken to Geoff about diversity, for what is considered “rock n roll” is altered by later age-groups, through Zeppelin to punk. But acceptance of progression felt like a no-go zone; this was traditional, fifties fashioned rock n roll, like it or lump it.

I thoroughly enjoyed the band, hailing from various locations from Hungerford to the Cotswolds, this five-piece ensemble called Haney’s Big House had the classic arrangement; bona-fide frontman on lead, bassist, drummer, harmonica and an outstanding upright double-bass player. It proficiently spelled rock n roll to me, they played their own awesome compositions, and relished in covering Bill Haley and Chuck Berry, to name a few. Yet conversing outside, nick-picking gossip circulated it was too blues, whilst others suggested too rockabilly.

True, but the band don’t hide this blues influence on their own website, and inside the crowd danced on seemingly unconcerned. I huffed at a minority of grouches, they revelled in nights of yore through rose-tinted specs, when unfortunately, that era has passed. Haney’s Big House made for an excellent evening, seemed to love the spotlight and were a perfect match for a rock n roll club.

Akin to the contemporary scooter scene, subgenres have to merge back into one another in hope of survival, as Northern Soul mods meet ska-led skinheads, so rockabilly, RnB and blues should be accepted as fair game by fundamentalist rock n rollers, otherwise the scene risks fragmentation over time.

A heartfelt concern, because I’m with Joan Jett, loving rock n roll, put it every time on the jukebox baby; I grew up listening to Elvis, Buddy et al, via parents. There’s nothing like the authenticity of original rock n roll, with an epoch to match, The Melksham Rock N Roll Club is an institution upholding this ethos and they do so with matchless effort.

It was a brilliant evening of beguiling retrospection and long may it continue for another twenty years plus. My demographic observations came up trumps, while a palpable majority were retirement age diehards, a sprinkling was younger, equally excited about the scene. Though that number has to be upped, so I urge anyone affectionate of old timey rock n roll, try this affordable club for size; it’s reelin’ and a rockin’ to the point age is just a number, folk of all ages twirling the night away; absolutely wonderful!

Next dance is Saturday 26th February with Jive Street….

Stay updated via their Facebook page.

Check out other forthcoming events at Melksham Assembly Hall Here, from Abba and Carpenters tributes to Madness and Led Zeppelin…and erm, “ladies” nights!

Trending……

Time to be Thinking About CrownFest!

It’s time to be thinking about that nearby little village with a big punch and a spire. CrownFest at The Crown in Bishops Cannings is…

Song of The Week: Beskar

Quick one from me, a belated song of the week, The Prophecy by Beskar featuring Huntr/s. A debut single on RAM Records from Scottish music…

Mobius Loop Launch Anti-Hunt Song

Nationwide hunt saboteurs and animal rights activists have inspired those gypsy-folk misfits, Mobius Loop to create this righteous tune, the Foxtrot Tally Hoedown; and we love it here at Devizine.….

I love it because despite social and political injustices linger, as it ever did, rarely does the mainstream music industry reflect this, whereas topical songs of protest and political commentary were the backbone of subject matter in times of yore; and yeah, I’m old enough to remember, just!

Photograph by John Middleham
Flower Crown by Flowercrown Magic

From the Clash and Linton Kwesi Johnson to The Levellers, songs of freedom which were once commonplace are reduced to the underground, and one has to ask if returning to an era where mainstream musicians speak out is needed now more than ever before. All we can do is encourage them, and this is indeed encouraging.

We’ve seen the trend back on the agenda, through folk, punk and ska genres; hats off to bands like Five Iron Frenzy, Boom Boom Racoon and Mobius Loop, the latter of whom say they’re “on a mission to raise positive vibrations, projecting an organic co-operative voice for humanist spirituality, vegan philosophy, grassroots philanthropy, true democracy and alchemical magic, in the name of Hemp Redemption and the infinite unknown.” Boom-shankar to you, guys!

The penetratingly energetic folk blended with conscious rap gives this tune serious clout, as it meanders onto all forms of animal cruelty and veganism. Whatever your view of vegans, you’ll remain toe-tapping through Veganuary! The song comes from their album 2020 Vi5on, which you can buy from their website, here, or stream here.

Using national footage of hunts and protests, they’ve produced a no-holds-barred video to prompt the tune, which includes scenes from our own county’s Boxing Day bash-a-sab fest in Lacock. It’s received applause from local hunt sab groups, but again that’s preaching to the converted when its those sitting on the fence it needs to reach. This symbolises my agony at the current music industry and how it operates; what’s the point in singing cliche boy-meets-girl slush when there’s injustices and transgressions happening across our green and pleasant land?

All we can do is share and publish as much as possible, to raise awareness there remains positive and rebellious vibrations through contemporary music, and praise that this Preston band of nonconformists are truly kicking up a storm nationwide with their eruptions of free-form dance, charged with intimately powerful live performances, and I say, good on ‘em, hunting must end, now.

Please grab your copy of our compilation album in aid of Julia’s House, click on the poster, thanks!

Trending….

Devizes, We Are Sustainable!

Bingo, someone came up to me in the Market Place while I was chatting with Devizes Greens chief, Margaret Green about all random matters of…

We’ve Found You, Danni W!

Right you lot, listen up; I’m fully aware this debut album, Lost to be Found, from Swindon’s Danni W has been out, what, a fortnight…

Bath Reggae Festival Ticketholders Still Await Refund

Ticketholders for the hugely publicised Bath Reggae Festival still awaiting a refund after the festival was cancelled in August last year are getting understandably disgruntled, as the organisers are reportedly unresponsive to emails and messages….  

Like many others, I jumped on this when first announced in November 2020. With a real community feel to their reggae scene, and Fairfield House, where Emperor Haile Selassie I spent five years in exile, what location in the southwest could be more apt to hold a reggae festival than Bath?

Wowed but slightly dubious when I saw the inaugural festival announce their line-up later in the month, for a first-time festival it seemed too good to be true. Legends of reggae were billed; Maxi Priest, Aswad, Big Mountain, Dawn Penn, Hollie Cook, Sister Nancy and more. Due to Covid restrictions the event was postponed from June to August, but over 2,000 reggae fans were disappointed to learn, due to the organisers being unable to source port-a-loos, the festival at Kensington Meadows in the city was again called off.

Spokesperson for event organisers, VIP Productions, Jack Wilkinson told the BBC at the time, “there has been a mention of September but again that can’t be guaranteed.” VIP put out a plea on their Facebook page, encouraging ticketholders to retain their tickets as they would be honoured once a future date was arranged, but promised a full refund if not. This was the last post published on their Facebook page in August, as punters rally to inquire to their refund, and receive no response.

Some managed to obtain a part-reimbursement from their bank or PayPal, but I’ve yet to find anyone who actually received a refund direct from the organisers. I emailed the festival’s website and the messaged VIP Productions, to no reply either, but since discovered, according to the .gov site, the company dissolved in October. VIP also presented another similar reggae festival, same month, in Huddersfield, called Sunup, of which I can find no evidence of it happening either. Going on this, I’m sad to say, I wouldn’t hold out much hope, guys.

I would not go as far to suggest the whole shebang was a scam; the festival industry is not a swindlers’ market, as it is not enormously profit-making. An event of this scale takes hard work, dedication, experience and a huge pot of funds long before stages are erected, and folk are downing cider and chewing on falafels. Admin, marketing, council permissions and insurance are just some of the mountains of red tape you need to get through just to get your foot on the first run of the ladder, therefore there’s far easier methods of defrauding people.

Just one day prior to the event in August, Somerset Live reported VIP were “criticised for their last-minute approach and lacking basic information in the application, making it ‘extremely difficult’ for Bath and North East Somerset Council.” Somerset Live also spoke to a senior environmental health officer, Sara Chiffers, who expressed concerns, “we’ve had extensive dialogue with the organisers about elements of the event management plan that were unclear, contradictory.”

This would suggest my initial hesitancy was justified; perhaps their intentions were honourable, but they tried to run before they could walk. For to have one of these big names booked would have been enough for an inaugural festival, as you need to start small and build. You cannot run off looking at Glastonbury, Reading or Bestival, these are well established with generations of experience, if they book Bowie, or Bruce Springsteen it’s because they know they can, they know tickets will cover it. Festival organising is a massive risk, and fundamental organisers get an event co-ordinator with experience. But to fail over a trivial aspect like toilets is, aptly, a bit shit!

More so it looks bad, creating a riff between punter and organisers in general, and right now, this is the last thing the hospitality industry needs. I know of one festival organisation shut up shop because they depended on advance ticket sales to host the next event. An honourable, trustworthy little festival, and while I’d rather advocate folk entrust such organisers, stories like this are bound to create understandable uncertainty.   

My advice would have to be, in order for the festival scene to thrive and especially for new-comers to become established, folk have to put their trust in events and buy tickets in advance. Yet I urge punters to use their noodle, be wary of festivals promising too much at one time, especially the first time, or events which may have sister operations elsewhere in the UK under a similar banner. But it is detrimental for the future of festivals that organisers remain faithful to their customers, that they insure there’s reserves for refunds should it fail, and that they keep in communication with the ticketholders in such an occasion, as it is not only the customers you are bothering, but other event organisers too; common decency really, isn’t it?

Trending…..

Devizine Review of 2021; Marginally Better than 2020!

If we recently reviewed Ian Diddams and friends meeting at the Vaults for their annual festive Jackanory, the first article of 2021 was the very same funny fellow reciting his yarn as a live stream from his mocked garden grotto, and in that, surely displays how far we’ve come from the restrictions of lockdown we entered the year with. Though not without the same notion as last Christmas looming over us, like a dirty black shroud, that it was, perhaps, all too soon, and we’ve not seen the backside of the Covid19 yet.

Summarising, 2021 was marginally better than 2020; there were gung-ho moments of throwing caution to the wind, and there were others to make us stop and ponder the consequences of our actions. There’s little doubt the world will never be the same for decades to come; social interaction, shopping, even work practises; but we did get to party on occasions, and when it was good, it was really good.

And if it ended with a Boxing Day brawl, I suspect some wished for the bash-a-sab fest. Even police it seems, who would likely send in The Wealdstone Raider to crowd control a Wealdstone V Whitehawk FC game, if given the assignment. Did I predict this when I said “make no mistake, there’s a civil war under our noses, which comes to an apex when blood-thirsty predators triumphantly parade their wrongdoing on a day when most of us struggle out of bed to reach the fridge?”

Hardly crystal ball stuff, tensions at their highest for rural Wiltshire’s most contradictory dispute, it was on the cards since day dot; when the county voted in a foxhunting Police Crime Commissioner, whose misadventures in drink driving caused him to pull out at a cost of millions to the taxpayer. A calamity most shrugged off with “oh, ha-ha, those naughty Tories, bless ‘em.”

Allowed Out to Play

It was May before I set foot in a pub, lockdown eased and live music was back on the agenda, albeit with hefty restrictions; early ending times, remain seated, table service, no mingling outside of “bubbles,” and deffo no dancing or singing. It felt awkward to begin with, not quite the same, but it was a start, and who better to kick off proceedings than the brilliant Daybreakers, gracing the trusty Southgate? One could sense the joy from Cath, Gouldy et al, to be singing to an audience once again, proving their dedication to the cause. A handclap emoji just isn’t the same.

For a while then The Southgate remained the only venue in Devizes providing live music, and we thank Deborah, Dave and all staff for working within the rules to create a safe space to be blessed with music; it was like they were on roller-skates at times, up and down the beer garden, ensuring not a mouth was left dry!  

I also ventured out to the Barge at Honeystreet, to see how they were coping with the boundaries too. And what a show The Boot Hill All Stars put on there, under a spacious marquee, so tempting to get up and dance, but couldn’t; mastered foot-tapping though.

The return to some normality for many in Devizes came in clement early June, when Devizes Lions held a fantastic car show, plus, on the Green. With side stalls aplenty, nervously folk began to socially distanced mingle; it was a breath of fresh air and a testament to what can be safely achieved with forward thinking and dedication.

Image by Nick Padmore

By July I made it out a few times, the idea of Vince Bell teaming with the individual performers of The Lost Trades, Phil, Jamie and Tamsin was too much of an irresistible hoedown of local talent to miss, and a third trip to the trusty Southgate to tick TwoManTing off my must-do list also proved to be a memorable evening.

The beginning of August I ventured to TrowVegas to tick another off said list, catching those Roughcut Rebels with new frontman Finley Trusler. They blasted the Greyhound, and didn’t disappoint. The month shifted gear for many, and things simply blossomed like there never was a lockdown. Back-to-back weekends saw both my favourite largescale of 2021, the single-most amazing festival near Marlborough; MantonFest is a real gem, professionally done with a real communal atmosphere, the type perpetual drizzle couldn’t put a downer on. This event wowed.

Back in Devizes, the events of the year were the weekend which followed, sitting nicely between a stripped back version of DOCA’s International Street Festival sprinkled across town, was of course, The Full Tone Festival. Without the refreshing emergence of folk out of lockdown, this would have still been something for the town’s history books, but being as it was, the opportunity to head back out and enjoy life once again, the timing, the best weather, the whole ambience was electric. The time and work gone into pulling this off was absolutely outstanding, and for which folk of Devizes will forever mark it as a celebration of post lockdown.

Awakenings even drew Andy out of hiding by September, and I was overjoyed to have him back on the team, without putting his bag and coat on the hook, he went out to play, reviewing Devizes Musical Theatre’s Gallery of Rogues, and Devizes Town Band’s Proms in Hillworth Park. Meanwhile I was delighted to see The Wharf Theatre reopen with a fantastic performance of Jesus Christ Superstar.

September also saw the welcome return of Devizes Comedy at the Corn Exchange, and The Long Street Blues Club, who, kicking off with Creedence Clearwater Review, wasted no time catching up with their rescheduled programme of the most excellent blues nights money can buy. Andy covered these, while I ventured to see Kieran J Moore’s new digs at Trowbridge Town Hall. After a brilliant street art exhibit from Tom Miller, I went to taste the music there, with a most memorable evening from Onika Venus. I returned to the scene in November, for a great gig from Ålesund with support from Agata.

Other than a trip to the White Horse Opera and Southgate to see Jon Amor’s King Street Turnaround, Andy pitched a tent at Long Street Blues Club, one time shipped out to the Corn Exchange in late November for Focus, which Andy crowned best gig of the year. I made it out to the Cross Keys in Rowde for The Life of Brian Band, and to the Southgate see Strange Folk again, since their fantastic set on Vinyl Realm’s stage at a Street Festival of yore. But October held my best gig of the year, the reasons manyfold, and I’m lay them on the line….

For the outstanding fundraising efforts of the Civic award-winning local supergroup, The Female of the Species, I hold them all up as my heroines, therefore the chance to see them again at Melksham’s fantastic Assembly Hall too much to miss, and the fact they’d chosen this time to raise funds for another of my local heroines, Carmela Chillery-Watson, was almost too much to take! With an electric night of awesome danceable covers and a massive raffle, they raised a staggering £1,763 for Carmela’s Therapy Fund.

It will never cease to amaze me the selfless lengths our musicians will go to for fundraising. Even after a year and half of closed hospitality and no bread-and-butter gigs, they continue to offer their precious time to help. While events blossomed late this year, and November saw the return of TITCO, and Devizes Arts Festival added a spellbinding mini-autumn-festival with Ronnie Scott’s Jazz Club, Sally Barker and Motown Gold, Devizine continued also to preview events and do what we had being doing to find content during lockdown. Yeah, we rattled some cages with social and political opinion pieces, tasted some great takeaway tucker, and we reviewed recorded music further afield as well as local, but we had a number of feelgood stories, most memorable being things like our snowman competition in January, but there was a project which highlighted the sterling effort from musicians to fundraise, and it will be something I’ll never forget.

Image: Gail Foster

So, in April I announced we would be putting together a compilation album, fundraising for Julia’s House Children’s Hospices and by late June it was a thing. It was hard work to put together, but I’m astounded by the plethora of great bands and artists who took the time to send us a tune for inclusion. Knowing time was precious for artists popping out of lockdown, in need to source bookings and rehearse, I only asked them to provide us with an existing tune to prompt their albums, but some went beyond this, giving us exclusive outtakes such as the brilliant Richard Davis & the Dissidents, or some even recorded new songs, like Blondie & Ska, Tom Harris and Neonian.

I picked a staggering forty-six tracks to bind together, to create a boxset so humongous it would need far too many CDs to make it actual, so due to this and the expense of outlaying, it exists as a download on Bandcamp. Think of it as a teaser for the many great acts we’ve supported and reviewed over the years, and for a tenner, it works out under 5p a tune.

For me this was a momentous achievement, and can’t thank them enough. While I’ve put it out to the right places, to the Gazette & Herald and Fantasy, and airtime on West Wilts Radio’s fantastic Sounds of Wilderness Show, there is obviously more I need to do to get the message out there, as sales have been slow, unfortunately.

I could fathom a number of reasons for this, but in all, we’ve raised approximately £177 for Julia’s House, hoping to reach a £200 target before we send them the money, still sales have waivered off so significantly I feel I need to send what we’ve had so far. Please help us to up the total if you’ve not already bought this fantastic album. Gloom aside I will say I’m planning a second volume, and already have a few contributions from incredible acts such as Nick Harper, Onika Venus and Catfish.

Returning to events for the last part of the year, While Andy fondly reviewed Focus, I popped into the Corn Exchange for a quick interview with The Lost Trades, and left to attend a great art show at the Shambles. That weekend the Full-Tone Orchestra played Swindon’s Wyvern, and I’m grateful to Ian Diddams for his review. This is what we need, people, we cannot cover everything, but if you’ve a few words to say about an event or anything local, please, help to make Devizine a comprehensive community, erm, thing!

Of course, one delightful addition to our team TD Rose has been submitting some lovey features, firstly of ramblings, and more recently she made friends with Wiltshire Museum, and reviewed DOCA’s Winter Festival. Thank you so much Tyg, I’ve yet to meet, but we need to arrange this for the new year.

Image: Chris Dunn

Towards the end of November Andy remained seated at Long Street, I did the rum bar thing. Such a refreshing addition to Devizes, The Muck & Dundar pulled off a blinder with Bristol DJs, The Allergies. This was one smooth funky night, best for an age, and it was great to shake my greying tailfeathers. Both Andy and I finished off the year with a Boot Hill bash at the Southgate, where hip hop misfits Monkey Bizzle supported, and was shocked by Andy’s positive reaction, being more my cup of cheddar, this was an awesome night too!

Kossoff played Long Street, Andy also went to White Horse Opera’s Winter Concert and other than the hugely successful Tractor & Tinsel Run, we’re back to where we started with an Ian Diddams’ spoken word showdown the Vaults!

On Stats and Boring Stuff

Our Annual Stats Doubled from Last Year!

Having live music back, no matter the limitations was a breath of fresh air. Prior to it I was still scrambling around in the dark as I was in 2020, hunting for something to write about. But I guess a year of lockdown had given me time to contemplate and improve on the content. This boosted the stats, for if 2020 saw a drop in readership, I hoped to better it, and I’m pleased to announce we had a record amount, well over doubling the figures of 2020. This is awesome news, and I thank everyone for keeping the faith in us, and continuing to support Devizine.

I keep looking at the bar graph of stats, not believing the skyscraper which is 2021. How much we’ve grown, become a “thing” now. It’s fantastic and I hope we will continue to entertain you. I must stress though, we don’t harass you to subscribe or any rubbish like this, we keep advertising to a minimum, and nothing should pop up and distract your reading, and we uphold the ethos features should be free to the end user.

Yet we do need to maintain some budget to keep the site going. That’s currently around £60 a year; we fund our own beer money, thank you, we’re not MPs, we have no expense forms! So please consider donating to keep Devizine afloat, please donate when sending us an advert, unless it is fundraising. I’d really like to build up a small fund to get some charity events off the ground, as I believe the artists should be paid for their time considering their predicament too. So, anything extra will go towards this, and promoting the Julia’s House album.

What can we expect from Devizine in 2022, you might ask; well, if it’s not broken……let’s happily bash on shall we?! Thank you all so much for your support over 2021, the stats show we’re heading in the right direction.

On Food

Said this before, but I take pride in repeating myself; food reviews get an enormous response, yet still eateries seem reluctant to come forward. A food review here will do wonders for your sales, and I’m not just saying that because I’m a greedy so-and-so. Places we’ve eaten out or takeaways we’ve had which failed to live up to our expectations have not been mentioned. I’m no Gordon Ramsey and I’m not about to publish a slagging off. I’d rather tell you to your face why I’m not reviewing it!

During lockdowns the takeaway became essential part of a weekend treat for families with nought else to do, and new establishments opened, while pre-existing ones flourished. In January we praised the Massimos’ Pizza, and the following month saw me queuing halfway down a frozzled Nursteed Road for a rather tasty Greek Gyro from the Cosy Kitchen mobile van; such was the popularity of these mobile units during the bleakest of times.

When things begun to open up in April I went for my first vaccination jab, where they told me not to drive for fifteen minutes. They didn’t say go find a new Indian lunchtime takeaway in the Brittox, but we did, and long should Naan Guru live on!

Not much further into the same month, I tracked down The Feisty Fish, a fish n chips van like no other. They don’t come into town being there’s chip shops here, but track these guys down for the single best gourmet fish n chips you will ever taste, I tell no lie!

June saw a second IndieDay, organised by InDevizes, and prompted people to get out and shop with a bustling farmer’s market, in which I discovered the rosy cheeked benefits of Lavington’s Rutts Lane Cider, and merrily made my way home on the bus! I also had to mention, unsurprisingly to those who know me, that month, that Plank’s Dairies introduced a new locally-sourced organic milk, yogurt and juice range, in sizable and reusable glass bottles, which has proved hugely popular.

Naturally, without a main stage this year, there was a greater interest in the food market at The Devizes Street Festival in August, and the following month we mentioned Devizes Food & Drink Festival’s Market, where I was reunited with Rutts!

It was July when we discovered Thai-day Friday, and that was just delicious!

Mildly amusing than most, I offered a Battle of the Best Devizes Breakfast, in November, something we need to follow up on when the kids are back in school, as Round One, The Condado Lounge Vs New Society was a popular post. I bloomin’ love food, me, y’know, invite me to your café, pub or restaurant and I’ll give you my honest opinion, except I don’t do eggs or liquorice; yuck!

On Music

If I’ve already mentioned our awesome 4 Julia’s House project, and all the artists who contributed are in my good books, we also covered a whole heap of new releases. Plus, we started a Song of the Day, where we post a YouTube link for your pleasure, and generally don’t say much else about it, rather waffle on a tangent! But mostly recorded sound reviews waned when live music reopened, still we strive to continue telling you what we like.

Will Lawton

Will Lawton proposed to open a music school, JMW held a lockdown festival in support of musicians, Wiltshire Council asked Gecko for a Road Crossing song and video, and Wiltshire Rural Music’s announced producing live steams from Trowbridge Town Hall.

Kirsty Clinch announced her music school and book plans, and covered Swindon’s sound system Mid Life Krisis’s live streams. We chatted to The Scribes, announced The Lost Trades Live Stream in Advance of Album Launch, and The Ruzz Guitar Sessions, and Asa Murphy returning to Devizes.

We announced Sheer’s Salem gig, the Dear John Concert Album for War Child, and the bid to help Calne Central. Announced Sheer’s Frank Turner gig at the Cheese & Grain, chatted to Blondie & Ska. Announced Wharf Theatre’s Youth Theatre, Pound Arts Blue Sky Festival, My Dad’s Bigger than Your Dad Festival in tribute to Dave Young. This list goes on, but most enjoyable recently, meeting up with Visual Arts Radio who moved from Frome to Devizes.

We reviewed Terry Edwards Best of Box Set, Ain’t Nobody’s Business by Ruzz Guitar Blues Revue and Pete Gage, Skates & Wagons, Kirsty Clinch, Small Town Tigers, Django Django, Chole Glover, Araluen and Ariel Posen. Trowbridge DJ and producer Neonian, The Direct Hits, Andy J Williams, Erin Bardwell, Nigel G Lowndes, Mike Clerk, Cutsmith, Timid Deer, and Cult Figures.

Horses of the Gods, Lone Ark & The 18th Parallel, Longcoats, Black Market Dub and The Lost Trades.

Brainiac 5, Sitting Tenants, Stockwell, Storm Jae and Nory, Sam Bishop, Longcoats, The Bakeseys and Elli de Mon.

Liddington Hill, Boom Boom Racoon, Longcoats, Girls Go Ska and Daisy Chapman.

Monkey Bizzle, Webb, The Hawks, Captain Accident & The Disasters, Onika Venus, Death of Guitar Pop, The Burner Band, Mr. B The Gentleman Rhymer, and Scott Lavene.

Spearmint, Captain Rico & The Ghost Band, Sonny Vincent, Freya Beer, Near Jazz Experience, Beans on Toast, Old Habits, and most recently, Paul Lappin! That enough for you?! 

On the Social and Political Side

The fate of every nation depended on how their governments dealt with the pandemic, and how the public responded to them. I’m not here to dwell on international or even national politics, for this is a review of Devizine, what I define loosely as “an entertainment news and events guide,” for the locality of Wiltshire, focussing particularly on our base, Devizes. Yet tenaciously it is linked, undeniably affecting limitations to what we could and couldn’t do. By the very appalling national statistics, despite rolling out vaccinations like no other country, it revealed true horrors of conflicting government decisions, their general disrespect and selfishness for the public they’re supposed to serve, and the public’s reaction to them.

Like a blind vacuum, sucking in every government blame game, it never ceases to amaze me keyboard warriors on social media turning culpability onto mainstream media, when their task is purely to report news, and capture the mood of the nation. The mainstream media is ruled by the elite, funding the government, they’re in bed together, literally. To publicise shortage of goods is informing of a potential issue, they didn’t enforce panic buying, the public did; chicken and egg. Equally, to publish mood change in the majority lost faith in government, is because there’s a mood change; we’ve lost faith in government.

I’m not here to say I told you so; I’ve not lost faith in this government, I had none to start with!

Take the last set of pandemic announcements, made only hours after government-controlled media broke news of Downing Street Christmas parties, best part of twelve months earlier. A day where the public felt betrayed, even those who voted for Bojo and his cronies held their heads in shame and had to confess it was all too much for a government to break rulings it set itself, and party on while the public suffered, and died. The mood was understandably bleak; why should we do what they say when they clearly don’t?

Why, you ask, for crying out loud? To protect ourselves from a global pandemic, numpty! Government announcements are fed counsel from health organisations and medical experts, skewered by bent politics, naturally, but the bullet points are there. It is not the same self-entitled buffoons, they’re voiceover artists on this occasion; given free reign they’d have “herd immunity,” against WHO advise.

Can you not see through the wool? The government press released the Downing Street Christmas Party scandal themselves, bang on cue of an announcement, so we would all think precisely that, why should we do what they say when they clearly don’t? If we rebel from their restrictions, we’ve only got ourselves to blame when the virus spreads. The government gets what they always wanted, herd immunity, and they’ve shifted the blame away from them and onto you, me, and everyone else.

Therefore, we need to take precautions ourselves, be a community, care for others around us. No hard and fast lockdown is needed, if common bloody sense prevailed, but government seem intent to rinse it from our craniums. We’re not self-service tills, do not robotise us!

We know now how to prevent the virus spreading; keep your distance from others, wear facemasks in public places, follow NHS guidelines in testing and get vaccinated as soon as possible, whether they tell you to or not.

These things should be commonplace, but whenever restrictions ease, like a naughty school-boy triumphantly marching out of detention only to offend again, we forget everything we’ve learned and pay the cost for it. I’m not preaching like a saint, caged too, I urged for a pint, to lob my facemask into the air, hug, and flaunt the rules when the rules relaxed, at times reflecting if we did the right thing, least if we did it too soon. But it’s done now and we can’t turn the hands of time. If we could, I’d still be on Castlemorton Common.

Old Skool Rave

In this, one series of articles I was proud of this summer was in reminiscence of my youth, being the thirtieth anniversary of 1991, an explosion for the rave scene. But another similar premise based on news of illegal raves happening in lockdown, was to ask those old skool ravers if they’d still go raving if there was a similar pandemic in the nineties; with interesting results.

Return of the Rave

And if it sounded like I was defending mainstream media, I wasn’t, only applying a smidgen of sympathy. With Facebook, Twitter et al, media is everyone now; I’m living proof any idiot can publish a blog and make look it like reputable news! Reason why, I guess, criticising other local outlets always brings hits, the occasion I felt the need to defend Devizes against the sharp eye of local gutter-press Wiltshire Live, proved to be our third most popular article of the year.

Devizes is a great place to live, Tory top-heavy, but that’s something anyone with an alternative opinion has to unfortunately suck up. Our fourth most popular article this year was in January, breaking the news Tory PCC candidate for Wiltshire, Johnathan Seed, was a bad card. Something as more evidence came to light, namely drink-driving offences, proved to be true, at the time I put my finger on something conflicting in his chat with us, calling anyone who cared to address fox hunting a “troll,” but requesting we talk on his trespass pledges, blatantly linked to restrict the movement of sabs, the only folk we see actually policing this disgusting and unbelievable smokescreen of trail hunting. Something we covered more recently, suggesting Boxing Day Hunts need better policing.

Moan I’m bias, yeah, no shit, Sherlock. Do I attempt to hide it like others? Why the hell should I side with anyone butchering wildlife for so-called sport, and in that, why the hell would you?! But hey, I remained impartial during local elections, giving each and every candidate a platform, so there!

Never has a PCC election run with such controversy. Aggravation between sides fired, and we did more than blow the lid off Seedy’s bogus campaign, causing some alarming revelations in local social media bias. Tories back Tories, no matter what they’ve done wrong, it’s an allegiance to admire, even if you feel it’s malicious. As well as chatting with Lib Dem candidate Liz Webster and independent Mike Rees, we tried a few spoofs: Play the Wiltshire PCC Game, Basil Brush Missing, and upon the Tories hustling in an alternative candidate by stalling the re-election, we ran a short story The Adventures of Police Crime Commissioner Wilko, which was based upon a better received satire, a long-running mock of Wiltshire Council, in The Adventures of Councillor Yellowhead.

At times Mike seemed such a threat to Wiltshire’s Tory totalitarianism, a media attack seemed the best method to deflect people taking the common-sense vote. The first bout came in January, when Mike was barred from volunteering to administer lateral flow Covid tests, the second in July affected me personally as the Devizes Issues Facebook group revealed its fiercely denied bias, by banning me for using a George Orwell quote to express my concern at the taxpayer having to fork four million quid for a re-election which was clearly the Conservative Party’s fault! I’m adamant it was justified.

Nineteen-eighty-four was supposed to be a warning, not a fucking self-help guide.

Annoyed, I struck out, naturally, and was begged back, after the full-gone conclusion a Wiltshire majority blindly vote for the blue rosette no matter what! But it was a month after the ban, the smear reached its apex, with all posts about the independent candidate immediately banned and deleted on the popular Facebook group, and anyone complaining were blamed by members for the downfall in Mike’s success! You can’t make up hypocrisy that nasty. 

Tory Devizes Town Councillor Iain Wallis on “the Devizes Issues.”

It’s not the politics which bothers me as much as the kind of world they envision. Stories of injustice swamped Devizine this year, more than ever before, even our April Fool’s Joke had stark repercussions. 

Every minute an adolescent arm reaches out of a window, unceremoniously handing a bag of fast food to a driver, they nod a thanks, and leave. That seemed to me to be the maximum social interaction of 2020, yet commonplace in modern living, pandemic or not. I recalled going to a Tesco, paid at the pump, masked expressions as I sauntered the aisles, paid at the self-service till and on the way out considered one could live their life in modern times completely unnoticed, months need pass without human contact. My mind meanders if that’s something young folk actually want, or if they’ve been robotised, or if it’s an age thing leaving me in a care-home for terminally bewildered.

The best hitting article of the year was again, our April Fool’s Day joke, where this time I misleadingly announced the opening of a McDonalds in Devizes. Maliciously planned, it broke the local internet, and despite suggesting it was All Fools Day in the piece, comments and messages flooded in from headline scanners. In favour of it or not, the debate is such popular the joke was lost on many desperate souls dying for a McFlurry; causing faith, just like Chippenham’s recent pandemonium for a bucket of battery chicken in gravy, yes, Aldous Huxley was bang-on, many folks do want to live in this commercialised bubble, void of individualism.

On Everything Else

Individualism, free thinking and fair and just causes we stand for here, it is not my fault the many attempts to counteract this seem to come from a conservative ethos, and therefore get criticised for it. I’m not dead against conservativism, but they seem dead against me, as if we’re supposed to know our place tip our hat and reply, “very good guvnor, I’ll bail your shit for a shilling!”

My god, how they hate common people who can articulate, that’s’ why they slash away like Freddy Kruger at the education budget while back the grammar school relaunch. Then keyboard warriors whinge at juvenile delinquency like it’s a new thing and something stringing them up for will somehow solve. We’re heading into days as dark as the early eighties, perhaps medieval for some, days I remember with a horror in my heart.

The audacious legacy building bashes on with grand and glorious plans, I reported Stonehenge had been saved by the High Court, but they operate above the law and continue to ignore the justice system, plotting to bury a road underneath it, shaking it to ruin, least knocking it of the World Heritage List, for the sake of knocking minutes off commuting times.

I criticised the reality of building a whole new train station miles out of Devizes, against popular opinion, cos I’ll believe it when I see it, and furthermore, I feel there’s more pressing issues which looking at. If not our terrible infrastructure, the state of our roads, and the endless chain of bureaucratic nonsense to get the simplest of notions pushed through bumbling pompousness of councillors and apparent do-gooders, it’s the increasing homeless on our streets, the need for Food Banks which the Tories selfishly assume is a good thing, the poverty level submerging a continuous population and the outright condoning of racist, sexist and homophobic acts. Sort them out, and I’ll gladly stand on Devizes Parkway platform with you, or any other brazen legacy-building pledge you dream up!

Every time I’m duped, I feel like an idiot, unable to get my message through the red tape. You want a train station, yet I reported the dangerous state of a Wiltshire Council playpark in Rowde, FIVE years ago, and I have to seriously throw my toys out of the pram to get anyone to pay it any attention. In February this year I was delighted, based on my article, Councillor Laura Mayes secured £20,000 from WC to re-design the playground and she proudly used it to publicise her election pledge.

But still the playpark remains in the same state of disrepair, not a penny pledged has been spent. Whether this is WC’s fault or the Parish Council I don’t know, they got what I suspect they wanted, a successful election result, and my whinging reduced too. I’ve just lost all faith and interest in continuing to bother with it. You want a train station, huh? Traffic lights at the Black Dog crossroads? A no left turn sign at the top of Dunkirk Hill? Yeah, good luck with that, we’re moving into six years for them to fix a dangerous baseplate of a bouncy chicken in a playpark!

Yet perseverance can pay off; we loved it when Rab Hardie of Duck N Curver broke into Stonehenge to raise awareness of his wish to film a video inside the stone circle, we asked if the Fire & Rescue Service were Cutting Vital Flood Equipment, defended Wiltshire Police from keyboard warriors upset they used a rainbow as their Facebook logo during Pride Month, wished Devizes Lions a happy 50th, supported Joe Brindle on his campaign to save Drews Pond Wood, attended Save Furlong Close protests, added some reflection on the Travellers based in Bromham, praised local artist, Clifton Powell when he was commissioned for English Heritage Exhibition, The African Diaspora in England, had a great time at Breakout, Chippenham’s Alternative Art Show, congratulated the award-winning British Lion. Crickey, the list goes on; the vast array of subjects we’ve covered, even war memorials which look like bins!

I must be boring you into an early grave, which isn’t the best way to start a new year!

One last thing, we did plenty of spoofs and satirical pieces, too many to name, yet, all’s fair in love and war, and it was a great year; here’s to 2022! I leave it there before your head explodes!

Sabs Call for Enquiry Over Hunter Police Officer Tasked to Manage Avon Vale Hunt Meet

Untangling the events of the violence which occurred in Lacock on Boxing Day, and received national press interest, could take some time. But in a shocking revelation today, Wiltshire Hunt Sabs claimed the officer Wiltshire Police sent to manage the meet, is a “fully paid up” member of the Avon Vale Hunt.….

PC Laura Hughes of Wiltshire Police, who also goes by the name of Laura Jordan, is seen in the videos taken at the meet, the sabs say she turned her back, “as violent thugs launched an attack on peaceful anti-hunt protestors,” and her own horse was ridden in the parade, by her friend and fellow hunter.

The sabs ask followers to make a formal complaint to the Office of and Police and Crime Commissioner and demand and enquiry.

Yet, further to our general article on Boxing Day Hunts, published prior to Boxing Day, we have indeed had a response from Communications & Engagement Officer, Philip Mackie, which might shed light on what could be viewed as a conflict of interests to many opposed to hunting. Basic upshot of this is, seems Wiltshire Police take the hunters on their word that there’s nothing illegal going on.

I asked Philip if Wiltshire Police observe the actual hunts, to be sure if a fox is flushed out, they do not pursue it, and would they be arrested if discovered they were.

“If offences under the Hunting Act are witnessed,” Philip started, “by the police or observers, they would be investigated as would any criminal offence.”

It must be hard to manage such an operation, I suggested, how does the police go about keeping up with the hunt to insure nothing illegal is happening? Do they use horses too?

“Wiltshire Police does not have a mounted section,” he replied, and continued to reveal they don’t even monitor the activities of the hunt. “We do not routinely monitor hunts as they are a lawful activity, if there is a suggestion of criminal offences, be they wildlife crime or other public order, assault offences or intelligence lead us to believe there is/was a likelihood of it happening officers would attend. The Rural Crime Team will also be looking to deter/capture hare coursers.”

So, it really is left up to the public to capture evidence rather than the fully-convinced police to monitor the goings on, despite mounting evidence many hunts do illegally kill foxes and the apparent trial is but a smokescreen, even if this particular hunt doesn’t.

Perhaps an oversight by Wiltshire Police to send an officer actively engaged in hunting, or considering her hobby is legal, nothing inconsistent is taking place here, but it cannot assist them particularly well to uphold impartial evaluation, and police the meet accordingly. It could be said PC Laura Hughes puts her career above her pastime, and policed the event accordingly, but some questions need to be raised as violence broke out between protesters and hunters at the event and it seemed, via videos, to be uncontrolled and out of hand.

I’d even say, policing this protest must have been no easy feat, and pressure on Laura and other officers to maintain the peace on such a dividing rural issue should be credited and valid, their contribution to policing should be upheld and acknowledged. Perhaps it was a wise choice to have someone who knew enough on the subject and understands the issues at hand?

While the protests staged by hunt sabs may be viewed as unwelcomed by some villagers, who else is there to insure nothing illegal is happening? How does Philip view the presence of hunt sabs? I asked him if their efforts are helpful to the police, if they work together, or if they are seen as an unwelcomed vigilante group?

“Hunt protestors and monitors are not viewed as a vigilante group,” he replied, “they have a passionate concern for the welfare of wildlife and this is understood and supported by the police and where criminal offences are suspected we urge them to come forward to provide their evidence.”

Evidence such as this shocking video from Surry Hunt Sabs, of the Boxing Day Royal Artillery Hunt at Chitterne? Warning: there are some shocking scenes depicted here:

Trending…..

Summer Roots Festival….In Keevil?!

You may know the tiny village of Keevil, the name of which will never cease to remind me of Evel Knievel, for its airfield…

Tractors, Tinsel, and “Suggested” Environmental Issues

From Devizes to Marlborough and back, last weekend, Sunday 19th December saw a repeat of last year’s Tractor & Tinsel Run, and Devizes Young Farmers’ fundraising event attracted masses of attention. Our man Andy was at the scene and I leave his thoughts on it here, I just wanted to add my tuppence too; you know me! Firstly, I offer thanks to the Devizes Young Farmers and congratulations on the success of the day.……

Raising for both Wiltshire Air Ambulance and Alzheimer’s Society, the Devizes Young Farmers told me they haven’t got a grand total yet, “we will let the Just Giving page run for a while.” For which you can find by clicking here, if you wish to donate.

Confirming this was their second year, they added it was the, “first year for the night run though!” So popular it virtually broke local social media groups with videos, images and messages of congratulations. I had to ask them if they think this could become something of annual Christmas tradition. “We have discussed doing it bi-annually, however it gets such good feedback and response from the public, we are considering doing it annually.”

In fact, the only negative feedback on social media has been concerns about the environmental impact. Puts me between somewhat of a rock and hard place, being the event’s popularity and the amazing fundraising achievement. I figured I’d ask local “green” experts for their thoughts on the issue, rather than play party to social media ranting; and before you throw your toys out of the pram and ingeniously change the D in my name, Darren, for a K, I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised by their responses!

In the global scheme of things, I consider the environmental impact of a fleet of tractors pottering around town to be but a pinprick, and Graham for Sustainable Devizes was equally constructive. “We have very little engagement with farmers locally,” he begun, “yet they are essential to protecting the environment and biodiversity.  Our approach to sustainability is to take practical steps and form partnerships.  When we campaign it is to start practical projects that will make changes and not to make criticisms of any particular group. We wish to engage with farmers on big issues such as protecting biodiversity rather than take positions on individual actions which have laudable aims.”

Council Green Party Candidate, the aptly named Margaret Green, was similarly supportive, “I agree that raising money for charity is a good thing and assume that the tractor mileage for the event is a donation from the farmers. I think the event has a positive outcome for the community,” she replied, “In terms of climate crisis and emission reduction, farmers are ideally placed to deliver positive outcomes in the form of increasing biodiversity through wildflower meadows (potentially associated with local energy production in solar farms). Their transition to reduced use of pesticides and fertilisers also benefits the soil’s ability to sequester carbon, a key element in a sustainable future. As stewards of our landscape farmers are our friends!”

Naturally the real test would be from the Devizes and Marlborough Extinction Rebellion group, who were somewhat lost for words, noting “like quite a few charity events, it’s also a polluting event,” but even they weren’t overly negative! So, to those whinging on social media today about the environmental impact, I’d suggest they put that in their vapes and puff it!

It now leaves me with the great pleasure to pass you onto roving reporter on the scene, Andy Fawthrop, for his thoughts. All I will add is; I believe the hashtag #nothingeverhappensinDevizes is a splendid piece of ironic overstatement created, correct me if I’m wrong, by local satirist (among other things) Mr Ian Diddams, therefore not to be taken to heart!

Tractors & Tinsel

Andy Fawthrop

There’s a bit of a (joking) saying that “nothing ever happens in Devizes”, a phrase that deserves to be fully buried and forgotten for just how incredibly inaccurate it now is.……

Whilst in Pyongyang they parade their missile-launchers, and in Moscow they show off their tanks and troops, this bit of rural Wiltshire did something rather better last Sunday by showcasing its own arsenal of terrifying hardware – tractors!  And not just a few tractors, but loads and loads of tractors.  Decked out with tinsel.  And Christmas trees.  And Santa Clauses.  And truly it was enough to frighten the pants off any super-power even thinking of ever invading The Vize.

Along with hundreds of others gathered along the route all the way out to Marlborough and in the Market Place in Devizes, my inner tractor-man came suddenly to the fore.  And what a sight we witnessed, as the massed squadrons of agricultural machinery drove past us, headlights shining, horns blaring, drivers waving.  And this was no mere token gesture, but over 150 colourful beasts roaring past us for the best part of an hour. 

Thanks to Devizes Young Farmers for their amazing vision and organisation, for the second year running, in the middle of deep mid-winter, we had another fantastic display of hardware as tractors rolled through the country lanes of Wiltshire on their way back to T.H. White’s gathering ground.  Rwanda might be famous for its gorillas in the mist, but in this neck of the woods we had tractors in the fog.  And not just the once either – this year for the first time we got a reprise of the shorter D-Town loop in the winter darkness.  It’s said that there are some weird folk, like our doughty editor, who simply don’t “get” tractors, but I can’t understand that at all. Personally, I was mesmerised – like a John Deere caught in the headlights, you might say.

Of course part of the (unintended) entertainment was spotting the looks of horror on the faces of the drivers of cars trying to pass through the town, suddenly finding themselves between a massive JCB or CASE, and a flotilla of Massey-Fergusons, wondering what level of hell they’d suddenly found themselves in – absolutely priceless!

To say that was a great success is surely an under-statement.  You only had to be there looking at the children’s faces (and those of a few slightly leaky-eyed men of a certain age) to realise what a lot of joy and excitement this all brought to the town.  And social media was bending under the sheer weight of photos and videos posted online, as local folk let all their friends know far and wide just what an amazing town this is.

But of course, it wasn’t just for the hell of it: there was a worthy purpose behind such madness.  The whole thing was organised to raise funds for two brilliant charities – Wiltshire Air Ambulance and Alzheimer’s Society.   And there’s still time to help make a difference in our community and beyond by donating at https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/devizesyoung-club

So it’s a massive “hats off” to Devizes Young Farmers, and everyone else involved in organising such a fantastic bit of rural entertainment.  It was wonderful, it was awe-inspiring, it was totally bonkers.  And a great event out in the open air in the lead-up to Crimbo.  Let’s just hope it now becomes an annual and traditional fixture in the D-Town “Nothingeverhappens” Calendar!

Editor’s note; I only “don’t get” tractors without fridges and stereos as standard, otherwise I’m virtually Wurzel!

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Can We Stop Boxing Day Hunts?

Make no mistake, there’s a civil war under our noses, which comes to an apex when blood-thirsty predators triumphantly parade their wrongdoing on a day when most of us struggle out of bed to reach the fridge. Judge for yourselves who’s the goodies and who’s the baddies here, but pray tell me you’re not party to this obnoxious pageant? I mean, hardly “Christmassy,” is it, unless of course, Santa puts a bullet in the head of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer for not keeping up with the herd?  

Posing a question in a headline, I’ve learned, attracts hits. Usual method is for me to then waffle endlessly, circling the question but never really answering it, until, only sometimes, at the conclusion. I’m gonna swap, answer it now, get it out in the open. Can we stop Boxing Day hunts across Wiltshire?

Don’t be disillusioned, and apologises for bursting any bubbles; the answer is no, not a chance, pal.

Despite good news last week that the Wilton Hunt Ball has been postponed due to the omicron outbreak, we all know pandemic restrictions last year didn’t bother them, and with reference to breaking news of government Christmas parties, flaunting the law for the most powerful in society doesn’t need investigating, according to police.

I mean, whatever did happen to the inquiry as to how hunting organisations pushed for a drink-driving Avon Huntsmaster to stand as Wiltshire PCC, costing the taxpayer over £3million for a re-election? The carpet is looking lumpy, how much more can be brushed under it?

Every avenue I explore on this subject gets blocked, no one in any position of power to help wants to address the issue. That is a total and utter disgrace and they should, quite frankly, hold their heads in shame.

Make no mistake, Boxing Day Hunts aren’t the bee-all-and-end-all of hunting, but they’re the most important hunt on the annual calendar, because the audience it attracts. The Countryside Alliance will try convince you droves arrive in support. True, Boxing Day hunts aim to condone and promote the tenet, crucial in their campaign to turn the Hunting Act 2004 on its head. Though many onlookers remain oblivious to the cruel realities, while others will be lobbying against it.

If all is not lost, councils of both county, town and parish levels can take action, if they wanted, ban it on their land, or at least refuse to accept invitations to, and disallow council land to be used to meet, thus reducing the celebration of blood sports and gradually eradicating the archaic and brutal custom.

In a heartfelt campaign, non-profit organisation, Keep the Ban, urge concerned folk to contact their councillors, celebrating success when Keswick Town Council in Cumbria decided to revoke their invitation to the John Peel Hunt. Locally, the wonderful Wiltshire Hunt Saboteurs informed me Bradford-on-Avon Town Council “have banned both hunting and culling on their land at town council level” but reckoned, “it’s mostly symbolic, although there are definitely council owned farms (tenant farmers of WCC) that do cull, so a wider wildlife protection policy is probably going to be more use.”

However, fresh from a meeting, Alison Kent, Clerk to Pewsey Parish Council replied yesterday, “the decision was to allow the Tedworth Hunt to meet in the car park on Monday 27th.” A local hunt which the Wiltshire Hunt Sabs claim “weaponised their horses against sabs.” Why would they do this, without anything to hide?

Armed Tedworth Hunters

My first port of call is Wiltshire Councillor Laura Mayes, who despite as Deputy Leader and Cabinet Member for Children’s Services, Education and Skills, this is not her area of expertise, it must be said, is always willing to humour me and answer my endless questions on any random subject, and I thank her for her help. Although, her answer was unswerving; “I have done some digging and asked Cabinet colleagues and we all agreed that WC has no power to take any action, re trail-hunting as it is currently a legal activity. Any illegal activity would be a police matter.”

Wiltshire Council may convince themselves nothing illegal is happening, yet I argue, like a speeding driver, for them, the thrill of the activity outweighs the carnage it might cause. I’m no prude, I can understand it must be exhilarating to ride across the hillsides in pursuit of a target, addictive even, given hunting is ingrained in their psyche, passed down through generations. If an arsonist wandered into a fireworks factory with a lighter, would WC turn a blind eye, safe in the knowledge setting it alight would be illegal, therefore the arsonist would resist the temptation of their own obsession?

Countryside Alliance website outrightly states they oppose the hunting Act 2004, claiming it’s “bad for rural communities,” even, and, get your head around this brazen irony, “bad for animal welfare,” and a “waste of police resources.” If they feel like this, and nothing is done to prevent them, how on God’s earth can you expect them to not pursue a wild animal if it was to be caught in heat of the moment on this supposed fake trail?

Let’s take the last part of the CA’s stance; on Boxing Day police resources will be stretched, on a day they’d rather be peaceful I’d wager, because they’ll need to be present across the country where the crowds gather to observe this pretentiously parade of their unforgiving activity as a magnificent pageant. I have to wonder how much police time is spent keeping an eye on the hunters against policing the meetings. I also emailed Wiltshire Police to ask how they would actually patrol a hunt, horseback I’d imagine being the only effective method.

https://www.facebook.com/wiltshirehuntsaboteurs/videos/1220162211845307

I also wished to enquire what their relationship with the hunt sabs was like, if they supported the portfolio sabs are building to suggest unlawful acts are indeed taking place. Only this week, they posted a video to their Facebook page clearly showing The Royal Artillery Hunt rioting on two deer in an SSSI area on Salisbury Plain Training Area on Saturday 4th December, and Huntsman, Charles Carter, did nothing to call them off; something the Daily Mail suggested put the sabs “at war” with the Army.

A spokesperson for the sabs told me, “If something is being used as a smokescreen for a crime then either it’s an illegal activity or the law needs addressing!” Face it, Western Huntsman John Sampson in Penzance, was only found guilty of being in charge of dogs which killed a cat caught in the hunt on a Cornish housing estate, because a neighbour filmed him from their window, shamelessly lobbing the cat’s dead body into a nearby garden. If it wasn’t filmed, there would be no evidence. A clear indication hunters need monitoring, but while my press office contact with Wiltshire Police is usually responsive, they felt the matter needed to be addressed by the Rural Crime Unit, and passing my queries onto them was the end of our communication.

Should the police wish to respond, I can amend this appropriately, but time is pushing forward to Boxing Day, and my only line of information comes from The Wiltshire Hunt Sabs themselves. Far from a Batman-Chief Commissioner Gordan relationship, where Gordan doesn’t necessarily like the vigilante but compromises on the grounds they share the same goal, the Hunt Sabs were keen to criticise Police.

“I can show you a clip of an officer blocking a byway,” the sabs expressed, “when challenged he demanded evidence that they were illegally hunting, which the sab asked ‘well if you stop blocking the public right of way, I can get you some.’ He refused.” Whatever happened to inspector’s hunch aside, if investigation isn’t gathered by official resources, someone has to, furthermore, isn’t the officer acting unlawfully in blocking the byway, it’s a public right of way?

“Yeah,” the sabs replied, “accessing the byway was first a small section of ORPA (other routes of public access) so even though he had no idea what the public access rights where, he still chose to block it, even after offering to show him on an OS Map.”

Playing devil’s advocate, I supposed, his defence would be they were potentially there to “start trouble” when the hunters were doing nothing illegal. But how can he tell if the police don’t even follow the hunt? Have the Sabs ever seen police patrolling a hunt, keeping up with it to insure nothing illegal occurs?

“There’s no history of us starting trouble,” they replied. “The hunts always claim that but we don’t.  We’re just there to make sure they don’t kill. Wilts Police have never to my knowledge ever patrolled a hunt. Any time they are there it is to ‘keep the peace,’ which in reality means blocking us from stopping them killing.  The police don’t even know the law; on one hunt recently, two officers turned up and had to Google it on the way. I had to explain to them everything that was happening, and to be fair they listened, but initially they were too quick to take the hunt’s word that they were legally hunting. They have no training on this, I personally have emailed the rural crime team and asked, they’re not interested.”

I gulp at this, as while Wiltshire rural crime unit certainly isn’t responsive, the sabs said Gloucestershire Police now have “operation hunt,” and have said they will go out to hunts. But the real hard pill to swallow was my contact with The Wiltshire Hunt Sabs felt contacting the authorities was futile, adding in their understandable frustrations, “I can’t see them doing much, I personally have given up bothering with them.”

Still, all they ask for doing the tasks the police you pay for should be, is the price of a coffee to help their campaign funding, and they ask you sound your objection to Pewsey Parish Council for allowing the Tedworth Hunt to meet in their carpark, or contacting your MP and councillors in general, as Boxing Day Hunts go further than simply potentially bludgeoning a fox or any other animal which might accidently stumble into the crossfire, to death, but also act as a celebration and promotion of such cruelty.

I wish the season of goodwill to all men could extend to all life, all god’s creatures great and small, and I’m a realist who cannot accept nothing unlawful is happening here, when photograph and video evidence is there for all to see that clearly it is, and I thank the sabs for their time when others in power barely gave theirs, and for the difficult and arduous task they take on.

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Why Did the Gazette & Herald Single Out Trowbridge Takeaway with Zero Rating?

Working five years or more as a delivery driver for a local butcher, you witness some pretty awful hygiene practises while passing through numerous commercial kitchens. Yet via this experience I conclude, bad hygiene is not confined to any particular sort of eatery or of any class of establishment.

I delivered to everything from greasy spoons to London’s top hotels and restaurants, and in some standards are exceptionally high, whereas others are dreadfully dirty and pertain some terrible practises. I’ve walked through dog turd infested backyards, told to leave raw meat under the baking sun, I’ve seen a fish flipped onto the floor from a frying pan and promptly picked up and put back into the pan, and I could go on putting you off your tea, but never could I suggest such shocking things are only found in lower-priced establishments, the “posh” hotels and restaurants were equally as bad, often arguably worse.

Three days ago, freelance reporter, Beth Gavaghn broke news of four Wiltshire establishments which “have been given a zero rating by food hygiene inspectors,” published in the Gazette & Herald. Nothing wrong with this, you might suggest, it’s handy for the public to know these places rated low, and if you do suggest, I’d agree. My issue is with the structure of this, quite frankly, shoddy journalism, and if not shoddy, some bad choices made it undeniably bias.

The headline reads, “Trowbridge Chinese takeaway Happy Valley gets zero rating.” Aside grammatical errors, three of the four establishments are cherrypicked to be fleetingly noted, while Happy Valley took the brunt of the report, and was singled out in the headline. Billy Batchers Butchers in Shrewton and Sprinkles Gelato in Salisbury both scored equally low following an inspection, five months AFTER Happy Valley, but barely got a mention. The Bell at Great Cheverell also received a zero rating but mention of it was rushed through, despite being assessed at the same time as the Chinese Takeaway.

Not forgoing these inspections were made in March 2021, for The Bell and Happy Valley, and in August of the same year for Billy Batchers Butchers and Sprinkles Gelato, so for all their sakes, some update on work they’ve done to improve since would be handy to know, but I feel impelled to ponder, just why the one establishment was singled out? Did the reporter receive an adverse fortune cookie there, perhaps?!

It’s no good asking you guys, who are understandably as much in dark over this as me. I despatched a direct message to Beth via Twitter, two days ago and await a reply; just wanted to throw it out there, really, being there was plenty of time to reply, and that what I asked isn’t too OTT. That being: If other establishments also received the same low rating, why have you focussed and highlighted one in particular? That hardly seems fair. Well, are you with me? Does it sound fair to you?

Any reasoning would be speculation; I could, but I won’t go there. YetI’m not holding out much hope of a reply, unless she was to read this and shudder, oh, nasty blogger; I’d best dream up and despatch a quickfire excuse, but I had to note, further scrolling on the Gazette & Herald Facebook page revealed a sponsored advertorial for, coincidently, the Bell at Great Cheverell. “Paid partnership,” being the professional term, indicating backhanding cash to get reapproval, an avenue perhaps the Chinese Takeaway couldn’t afford to take, will get you off the hook; and you thought TripAdvisor reviews were skewered.

Conflicting, or simply the answer to our query, I’m not sure, but evidently, money talks. It should be importantly noted, a zero rating doesn’t mean an establishment must close, rather make significant improvements, and I would see no reason to be put off eating at any of them, the Bell is a rather splendid pub, and I’m certain they would have strived to improve on this rating. The others I am unaware of, but I’m sure in these uncertain times for any small business this exposure was superfluous and unwelcome; if all establishments scored equally, so should the balance of the report.

It is not your job, Newsquest, to wreck one business in favour of another. Heck, guys, I’d have given you a glowing review for a bag of prawn crackers; don’t bow to this injustice!

And readers, you’ve got your own mind, use it; accepting unedited and unsolicited submissions makes a newspaper look cheap and nasty, and I don’t believe that is what we want from local press; we’ve enough from Wiltshire Live, don’t stoop to their level, G&H.

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The Strange Case of the Bin-Like War Memorial

A Devizes resident, Simon Frankland on a Sunday stroll with his dog, stops to take a snap of an odd concrete rectangle on the grass verge of London Road, opposite the Aster Group building. Posting it to Facebook group, The Devizes Issue caused something of a mysterious stir, because while it rather resembles one of those seventies litter bins, Mr Frankland pointed out it is not, rather it is a YMCA war memorial, dedicating a long-lost garden to the fallen; who knew?

Some did it seems, after publishing this, so please read on to the updated section at the end, where some assumptions I gave are corrected, but the saga continues as more information about it is speculated on social media. The plot thickens, but the one thing we’re certain of it is not a bin, so don’t use it as one!

Begging for some to throw toys from their prams that it is disrespectful to use it as a bin, which by the paper and bottles wedged into it, and doggy poo bags surrounding it, appears it has been for some time, it must be said, you cannot blame folk because, left to the powers of nature, it does look uncannily like a bin, especially if passing by it on a dark winter evening, hurrying on a busy main road. Even those, apparently responsible for its upkeep, Bishop’s Cannings Parish Council, agree it does.

But if it was clearly marked and renovated, yes, of course, it would be disrespectful. There appears to be some markings engraved on the stone, but it is so worn they are near illegible and undefinable. Curiously, despite its rudimentary rectangular design, the reason it has been left to dilapidation, is its very being, and the location of its being.

I’m not here to point the blame at anyone, as it seems it has been understandably overlooked. Though it is based in Devizes, Town Councillor Iain Wallis believes it is the jurisdiction of the Bishop’s Cannings Parish Council, as his area stops at St James Church. Though the parish council admits while it is their responsibility, they appear equally unaware of it as others, and they think the design of it certainly lies with Devizes Town Council.

An antiquated boundary, an unfortunate bad design, premonition of a council litter bin thirty years prior, are likely the reason for it being overlooked and misused; a monument discounted through being on the borderline, near gardens of the barracks long closed down; you can’t stop the hands of time, but we can realise and respond accordingly to correct it.

As a consequence of me bringing the post to the attention of Bishop’s Cannings Parish Council, an email and a photo has been sent to the chair and clerk, and a parish councillor replied, “no doubts it will get sorted, as we have the RBL Seend Secretary as one of our Parish Councillors.”

Seems failproof, but I’m certain if it doesn’t happen through official procedures, our fabulous and trusty CUDS will be on the mission, as someone pointed out, they could just put a flower bed around it. It wouldn’t cost a fortune to make it identifiable, and then if someone still drops a doggie poo bag by it, Facebook police are rightful to have pop!

All’s well that ends well; i figured. We hope it will at least be renovated so it is clear what it is, and hopefully it’s meaning will be restored. Much as some whinge about social media, the power of such a post has to be admired, on a Sunday too; good job Simon!

Important update: contrary to my original assumptions about the monument, I’ve kindly heard from John Merritt, who has opened a Pandora’s box, by explaining it was placed as a result of the efforts of former Mayor of Devizes, Jim Thorpe, and was “unveilled” on 15th of August 2015.

Others have speculated it was merely moved at that point, from Hopton Estate outside the old Kennet Council offices to where it is now, so furthermore, it could actually be the responsibility of Wiltshire Council, or even the defunct Kennet Council, which may explain why it has been left to dilapidate.

Yet John’s revelation explained its existence, it perplexed me even more as to why it was designed to resemble a bin. Asking for it really.

John’s answer was simple and direct, “because nobody cares,” and he shared a letter he personally penned to the Gazette and Herald at the time, expressing dissatisfaction that despite Jim’s sterling efforts to get the stone to prominence, this particular ceremony was not intended to mark VJ Day. Along with traffic in Marlborough not being stopped for the occasion, John added, “contributes to the feelings of those who served in the Far East campaign that they are still the Forgotten Army.” A letter you really need to read to fully comprehend.

I apologise for my assumptions on this issue, and hope it did not offend. I can see this becoming “the war memorial bin saga,” but in light of this update, I’d argue all the more reason to at least renovate it so it is clearly not used for litter.

Personally, you know, I have a tin; that’s my war memorial. I take it out every Remembrance Day and browse through the keepsakes my Nan handed down to me. There’s photos, medels, letters from the war office, a notebook of my grandad’s movements with entries which alarmingly gets vauger as time goes on, and a Christmas dinner flyer 1947, signed on the reverse by all his fellow soldiers. It also interests my children too, who I’ll try my upmost to recite the stories he told me. For me, that’s my stone, and it would never be used as a bin.

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Chatting With The Lost Trades

Local newspapers ran with a yarn of snow blizzards, due Saturday, and illustrated the clickbait with scenes of worst weather of yore. The laughable reality was there was a blustery storm which bought five minutes of flurry.

I don’t conscribe to sensationalising, neither need to interview for the emblematic promotion of a new product. The Lost Trades aren’t yet announcing a second album, neither have they memoirs published; there wasn’t a good reason to interview them. They didn’t whet appetites broadcasting a follow-up album when I asked them the standard “what’s next” question, rather spoke about strategies.

I was eager to catch up with them though; haven’t seen them for ages, and they were happy to oblige, because they’re nice like that! They’d finished a soundcheck supporting Focus for a Long Street Blues Club gig at Devizes’ Corn Exchange, which Andy kindly reviewed.

No matter how they’ve been gigging further afield and stamping a benchmark for folk harmony trios internationally with The Bird, The Book and the Barrel, their feet remain on the ground, and this is, after all, their original stomping ground. Two thirds from Devizes, Jamie R Hawkins and Tamsin Quin, while Phil Cooper is from Trowbridge, the latter of whom casually asked prior to the interview what I could write about them which I haven’t already.

Fair cop, since day dot Devizine followed all three, Tamsin crowdfunding her debut album, Gypsy Blood was our first article in 2017, a review of Phil’s Thoughts & Observations closely followed, and I met Jamie slightly later, at the Saddleback Festival’s Battle of the Bands in 2018.

Tamsin and Jamie at Battle of the Bands, 2018, with George Wilding, Claire, Mike Barham, Jordan Whatley, Jack Moore and Sally Dobson. Image by Nick Padmore

The three musicians closely associated themselves with each other, producing and recording, assisting with gigs and collaborating sporadically, until a natural bond had formed and it made sense to form a trio. The news of The Lost Trades we broke in December 2019, a year of lockdown followed their debut gig at Trowbridge’s Pump, but a period which has seen them improve tenfold, together, on their already high standard.

Both the name the Lost Trades and the album name, The Bird, The Book and the Barrel derives from their surnames; Cooper is a barrel-maker, Hawkins the bird and Quins were counsels or scribes, hence the book. Figuring a blithe beginning, being my rare organisational skills surprised them with a typed sheet of questions, I thought I’d ask if Phil minded being referred to as a barrel! He said he didn’t, but do they call him it?

Phil Cooper solo

“From now on,” Jamie laughed while Tamsin christened it his new name. Phil retorted “that makes you Jamie ‘the bird’ Hawkins,” and I added I liked a bird with a beard, which isn’t exactly true but it broke the ice, if there was some to break, which there wasn’t, so I don’t know why I mentioned it!

The Trades know me well, in this, I pointed out a milkman is a something of a lost trade, and wondered if they had space for me, perhaps in the corner, with a triangle! Jamie noted I could be a “bottle fourth member!” While they pondered if there were to be any sensible questions, I broadened it with, “or is three the magic number?” 

Phil was first to confirm, the others agreed humbly. Tamsin expanded, “having three of us there’s no scope for two people going against two other people, you know? It’s always equal.”

“Yeah, democratically it works really well,” Jamie added. “There’s always a mediator,” Tammy motioned, “it works well like that.” Phil enhanced, “from a harmony point of view, I mean, don’t tell any barbershop quartets this but three is the magic number!” To be honest, I’m all out of befriending barbershop quartets these days anyway.

I offered it was great to see them back in Devizes, because it was, and I asked them where was the furthest so far, they’d played. Being, I’d imagine, the map-man of the trio, Phil called Eastbourne.

But are they booked for many festivals this summer? “Yes,” Phil replied, but couldn’t spill the beans. The Lost Trades are getting a lot of bookings, which is understandable. The only characteristic variance I noted seemed to be Tamsin, who once conveyed a slightly anxious persona when performing but is now rightfully brewing with confidence. More importantly, all three seem so at ease with the Trades’ success, loving the moment, and they’re bonded even tighter.

This is the point I slipped in the standard “what’s next,” and asked, “where do you take it from here?”

“Well, we have a strategy, you see?” Tamsin whispered, “first was getting our name out to our fans, and building up this joint fanbase, which is what we’ve worked on. And now we’re trying to build our name up in the folk world. So, hitting the folk clubs.” And they’ve been getting blinding reviews from folk magazines. “And a lot of radio-play from specialist folk shows as well,” Phil added, “up in Cambridge,” he exampled. Nationally, or even internationally, I queried. “Yeah,” Phil answered proudly, “in Canada, and Italy.”

I supposed lockdown live streaming helped in this exporting, despite lack of profit. Phil nodded, “it certainly tied us over, when we weren’t able to do anything, and kept us in people’s minds.” Tamsin assured, “at this stage in our career it’s not about making money, it’s more about getting our name known and reputation built up.”

To prevent it getting too cosy, I had something more challenging up my sleeve. As individuals The Lost Trades are no strangers to diversifying genres and sounds. Phil in particular, who even delves into electronica with a side project called BCC. Yet the Lost Trades is narrow in ethos, like a corporate identity, being strictly a folk trio, even in design of covers and promotional material. Make no mistake, this works, and is a great formula, but I asked how they could future prevent criticism that it’s getting “samey.” In this I gave the example of the Adele single.

“The fact there’s three songwriters in the band, all with different styes, will help keep us fresh,” Phil explained, “and like you say, we do all like to switch and try other things. I think it will happen, but obviously we’ve put this folk package together, and the music is very much modern folk, going to Americana.” I nodded, in theme too, content is modern. Tamsin added “Also that we’re playing multi-instruments too, which keeps us fresh.”

Debut gig at the Pump, Trowbridge

It was perhaps a tricky question, but you only need to listen to The Bird, The Book and the Barrel to note there is room for experimentation within the genre, and The Lost Trades wish to engage this. Phil expressed, “the folk thing is less about the music and more about how we present ourselves, as a brand, if you like.”

On reflection of their earliest songs as the trio, and knowing them as individual performers, I sense each song in style and writing are pitched by one of them to the trio; I could pick out that one was very Jamie, or very Phil, but the lines are blurred on the newer songs, melded so much I cannot pick out who’s idea or who wrote any particular song; is this what they’re working towards, complete harmonising? It was the longest question with the shortest answer, they nodded throughout me asking it. “I guess so,” Jamie replied, “there’s lots of methods and approaches we’ve yet to try out; that’s another reason why I think we’ll stay fresh.”

“One of the reasons the later stuff is harder to tell is,” Phil expanded, “the earlier stuff the other two were harmonising with whoever had the lead vocal, but the stuff we did towards the end of the album didn’t have a lead vocal, it was all about the three voices all the way through. We could get samey if we did just that, so we’ll keep the solo voice every now and then, just to keep it interesting.”

Lost Trades at the Southgate, Devizes

Tamsin added, “Also, as we’ve grown together musically, we’re writing songs specifically for the band. We write our own solo songs and ones which we think, oh, this one would sound better as a harmony; we tailor it to be a band song.”

Sure, feels like a progression happening naturally, as they work closer together. “It already did,” Phil said when I suggested this, “when working on the album there was two or three songs which didn’t exist until a month before the recording. We put them together really quickly, and yes, they were very much that kinda organic feel.”

Mentioning the impending lockdown as they first formed, I wondered if they felt there was positives which came from it. Phil called the album a massive positive, which if you’ve heard it, you can only agree. “There were songs on there written about what we were going through at the time….”

Tamsin responded too, “lots of the songs we wrote when we were feeling down about having to cancel the tour, for example ‘Winning Days’ was where Jamie and I were feeling miserable, and Phil said ‘right I’m going to write a song to cheer us up.”

“I think, perversely,” Phil added, “the fact we’d built up friends on our side, and to suddenly have it swept away, we got a massive outpouring of love towards us, and that has probably put us on a run up the ladder, that maybe we wouldn’t have got at that point.”    

I beg to differ on this one, sensing this shadow of modesty in them, when really, this massive outpouring of love towards them would’ve been inevitable with or without the restrictions of lockdown, because this grouping just works; whether you are folk’s greatest devotee, or not.

For the final question I returned blithe, as I sensed they were busting to get to the stage; “have you ever been interviewed before with questions as stupid as these ones, and did you expect anything less?!”

The one who remained most silent during the interview, Jamie, made a funny noise of which I’m unsure if it was positive or negative, but it rolled out a belly laugh, Phil pleaded the fifth on it, and Tamsin voiced in the background she thought they were “lovely” questions, because that’s our Tammy, Devizes loves her, we love all three; Trowbridge and Devizes finest musical export; I give you The Lost Trades, who I lost; by the time I stopped the record button, they were gone, up on stage, to do what they love, and long may it be so!

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Battle of the Best Devizes Breakfast Round 1; The Condado Lounge Vs New Society!

Ladies and gentlemen, live from the Market Place, through ongoing bouts, it’s high time to discover who will be the title holder for the heavyweight Devizes breakfast champion. Tonight, in the Little Brittox corner, a newcomer to the competition, weighing in at twelve pounds seventy-five pee, all the way from the The Condado Lounge, the Big Lounge Breakfast!

And in the erm, middling corner, the undefeated heavyweight champion of Devizes’ breakfasts, weighing in at nine pounds and seventy-five pee, ladies and gentlemen, I give you, all the way from New Society, the High Society Breakfast; let’s get belly to rumble!

No messing around, we want a good, clean, fight. There’s gonna be blood, sweat, toast, and perhaps a few tears, but my belly and I are determined to, by left hook or crook, find the best breakfast in ol’ Devizes town; or die trying.

And I feel it goes without saying, first rule of breakfast club, is we talk about breakfast, and secondly, breakfast means breakfast. If I’m patriotic about only one thing, I stipulate it HAS to be a full English breakfast, a large one, without avocado or maple syrup, plated, not squelching from the sides of a bread roll.

Don’t get me wrong, I like pancakes, on Shrove Tuesday, I like a pain au chocolat, as a snack, I like a selection of marmalades, cooked meats and bouncy cheese, for lunch. And for breakfast, yeah, I do every cereal from muesli to Coco-Pops, at home. But when I’m out to eat, in the a.m., there isn’t, and never will be, anything better, worldwide, than a full English cholesterol-hugging breakfast. Correct me if I’m wrong, pancake consuming Yankee-doodle-do.

With something to prove, new kid on the block, The Condado Lounge came out fighting. A wide, open-plan restaurant with décor a fusion of English pub furnishings and Mexican design, it’s colourful and welcoming. There’s comfy sofas and generously distributed seating.

Putting up their décor guard, New Society is equally welcoming, with a cross between wine bar and grand home kitchen, the partial antique look is wonderfully fitting with the town, and includes the stunning stained-glass window bearing the Devizes crest; evidence this was once the tourist information building. Yet they never did serve sausages, so to hell with them. It is as it has been since it opened its doors two years ago, homely and snug.

The Big Lounge Breakfast dealt some serious body-blows; this was an exceptionally tasty breakfast, tomatoes sprinkled with basil, it struck out with herby double-sausage, eggs and bacon combo, with black pudding, mushrooms, toast on the side and that little pot of baked beans. I must say, all these we’re cooked to perfection. Though it promised hash browns, they didn’t deliver, thus the Big Lounge Breakfast left itself open for retaliation.

Please note, I was too hungry to time out and take snaps, these images are taken from the respective websites and Facebook pages!

Spotting its opportunity, the High Society Breakfast served up a less spiced but equally scrumptious breakfast, with precisely the same items, but posher condiments. While it was clear this was going to be a tough fight, it managed to deliver everything it sworn to, and low and behold, with the addition of hash browns, especially when so crunchy and golden-brownly cooked, it put the Big Lounge Breakfast on the ropes.

But for our first time in there, we were welcomed at the Condado by manager Joel, who expressed his dedication to his customers and staff; the hospitality was convivial despite the busyness. This forced the boxers to the centre of the ring, clinching.

For a moment there was a notion of level-pegging, being New Society also put their baked beans in a pot. I sigh, seemingly standardised practice these days. Warming to concept I originally deemed sacrilege, on the grounds tipping them out is optional. Which I did at the Lounge, to soak up the goodness and bind the meal with their sauce. Though I figured I give leaving them in the vessel a try at New Society, it only ended with flaking bits of dipped hash brown floating in the pot, which was uninvited; I’m tipping them from now on! Fat was good for you, then it wasn’t, now it is again, who knows what’s what, and when in consumption of a full English, who really cares?

The main thing is taste, and I’m having trouble deciding, both were great, and both replaced the eggs I don’t care for with another item of my choice, without asking, and this is always a point-scorer for me. But admittedly my tummy felt fuller at New Society, and it’s a biggish one to fill! The Big Lounge Breakfast is forced to the ropes once more!

It is a shame, because The Big Lounge Breakfast put up a good fight, but price-tag has to come into play, and for the consistency in baking a splendid breakfast, it could have gone either way. It must be said, heftily weighing in at £12.75 against the middle-weight £9.75, three quid goes a long way in the finale. Therefore, New Society’s knockout High Society Breakfast dealt the final uppercut, sadly, The Big Lounge Breakfast hit the deck with a thud, the ref threw the baked-bean-stained towel in, and in assuming the hash browns watched helplessly from the kitchen, it was all over, save those cores of the tomato which no one finishes.

Please note, I was too hungry to time out and take snaps, these images are taken from the respective websites and Facebook pages! This is the vegan breakfast at New Society. Very unprofessional of me, I accept, but I didn’t know at the time I would write this; blame a slow news week!

An impressive bout puts New Society top of our leader board, and will go up against the winner of round two, which maybe sometime what with the cost of Christmas to cough up. Unless, of course, your Devizes café or restaurant wishes to rise to the challenge sooner and can invite my better half and me to taste your lovely breakfast; do let me know, before I prep porridge!

Wherever there are sausages, you will find me. Wherever bacon is suffering from being undercooked, we’ll be there. Wherever liberty is threatened by beans in pot, you will find… Devizine’s Battle of the Best Devizes Breakfast; it’s a dirty job, but someone’s got to do it.

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How Common is “Spiking” in Wiltshire?

We’re talking with Wiltshire Police about spiking in the area, how common it is, how to best prevent being a victim of it, and what to do if you suspect you’ve been “spiked.”

There’s been a truckload of media coverage of “spiking” nationally, with a notion towards a trend of using needles rather than the more common practises of topping up a drink or dropping a drug into a drink. If anything, it’s made me realise how totally out of touch I am with modern clubbing. While it may’ve been a while since I got my groove thang on, which I feel imperative to add I can still cut-a-rug as good as any twentysomething, clubbing was a religion in my younger years, and I retain, just about, fond memories of carefree dancing the night away; but you don’t want to hear about that!

Therefore, I’m saddened and literally sickened to hear stories in the press of youngsters who’d rather stay in than risk being spiked, and those who’ve been victims. So, I’ve called upon Wiltshire Police, to find out how common this appalling trend is in the county, what people can do to both prevent it, and what action they should take if they suspect they’ve been spiked.

Wiltshire Police told me, “This issue has caused a lot of interest recently and we are keen as a Force to make sure the story is being told correctly and the actual picture in Wiltshire is being shown.” Still, I’d like to think cases in our county are low, and figures for the past three years in Wiltshire, supplied by Wiltshire Police’s Business Intelligence Unit show while twelve incidents were reported in 2019, this was reduced to eight incidents in 2020, which I suppose lockdown had an effect, because unfortunately, this year another twelve incidents have been reported. Police are keen to point out, these figures include instances where spiking may be mentioned in the summary of the incident but may not later be confirmed, and they relate to drink spiking, not needle spiking.

Yet this leaves me pondering incidents which go unreported, and I’m alarmed to read the charity Talk To FRANK website suggesting “while the aim may be to incapacitate someone enough to rob or sexually assault them, sometimes it is just intended as a joke – a bad joke as it is very dangerous.”

Beggar’s belief someone would do this as a prank, and in turn, I must say, I’ve had trouble angling this article. Firstly, if you’re a regular reader you’ll be aware I attempt sprinkling humour into my words, but there’s nothing funny to this issue. Secondly, I originally thought I’d have something concrete to say to anyone considering spiking another person, but I changed my mind; I have nothing to say to you which you’d probably take heed of, and I could legally publish.

The concentration has to be on sending a message to potential victims, which could be anyone. I’d like to advise you not to let these nasty bastards spoil your fun, but at the same time I implore you to stay safe.

Watch your drink at all times, remain within a group of trusted friends, and if you believe you’ve been spiked, try not to panic, but find support from friends. I accept this is easier said than done, the drugs these idiots use can be seriously intoxicating, things are going to get wobbly, so much more than having too many drinks, which should act as the indicator something is amiss, especially if you’ve taken account of how much you’ve drunk.

You may question what’s happening, where you are, even who you are, commonly used drugs like ketamine and Rohypnol are seriously debilitating, so getting help urgently is paramount. Wiltshire Police say, “we would encourage anyone who believes they have been the victim of spiking or have witnessed it to contact us on 101. Any reports of spiking will be investigated and taken seriously.” Details of prevention on Wiltshire Police’s website can be found here, please read it.

FRANK gives tips to stay safe: Plan your night out, including your journey there and back. Make sure the venue you are going to is licensed – venues are required to take steps to ensure the safety of their customers. When going to a pub, club or party avoid going alone. Friends can look out for one another. Stay aware of what’s going on around you and keep away from situations you don’t feel comfortable with. Think very carefully about whether you should leave a pub, club or party with someone you’ve just met, and make sure your mobile phone has plenty of charge in it before you leave home and keep your mobile safe.

I’m pleased to read nightclubs like The Chapel in Salisbury and Tree Swindon freely distribute “bottle stoppers,” but contacting another two local nightclubs, I received no response when asking them what they’re doing to prevent such incidents. While I know it’s not an easy issue, I urge them to reconsider policies such as no glass on dancefloors, hoping they can provide a plastic alternative.   

Wiltshire Police have launched Project Vigilant, with operations being carried out on a frequent basis to proactively prevent violence and sexual offences. You can read more about Project Vigilant on the Wiltshire Police website. A Wiltshire Police spokesperson said: “We continue to work closely with licensed premises and our partners across the county through initiatives like Project Vigilant to ensure everything is being done to spot the signs of predatory behaviour.”

FRANK continues onto how to avoid drink spiking, suggesting always buy your own drink and watch it being poured. Don’t accept drinks from strangers. Never leave your drink unattended while you dance or go to the toilet. Don’t drink or taste anyone else’s drink. Throw your drink away if you think it tastes odd.

There is also an initiative led by Wiltshire Council called Ask For Angela, which the Police supports. The scheme helps people who are on a date or who have met someone at a venue and feel unsafe get help from bar staff. Anyone who feels unsafe in such a situation can get help from bar staff by simply asking to speak to “Angela.”  Staff will then assist the person in leaving the venue discreetly and getting home or to a place of safety. This could mean taking the distressed person out of sight, calling for a taxi and making sure they get home okay or even asking the person causing distress to leave the venue if appropriate. Details about this are here.

To conclude, I’d just like to reaffirm my appeal you stay safe by taking heed of the advice, because although the media are focussing on needle spiking, spiking your drink is far more common and easier to execute. Prof Adam Winstock from the Global Drugs Survey says it would be difficult to inject someone with drugs in a night out situation, “needles have to be inserted with a level of care – and that’s when you’ve got the patient sitting in front of you with skin and no clothes. The idea these things can be randomly given through clothes in a club is just not that likely.” But not impossible, and dropping a pill into a drink, well, this is far simpler, so go out and have fun, but be aware, please.

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Facebookland, Really?

I’d always imagined a virtual reality internet, but honestly, with Facebook, sorry Meta, (which incidentally sounds like the name of a hard rock magazine,) announcing it will create one, has to bring about an element of slight concern. It’s not just since Zuckerberg has made the billionaire club his liberal stance has warped into the ultimate conservatism, rather judging by the content and actions of users on Facebook, they’re best hidden behind a screen.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Facebook, addicted to the bloody thing, can’t keep my fingers off it. I check it at breakfast, lunch and tea. I check it on the loo; if I liked your status today, I probably didn’t actually read it, rather I accidently clicked it while rescuing my phone from the u-bend. I check it night and day, and when I’m asleep my dreams come over as a newsfeed.

Like many others my initial reaction to the news was jaw-dropping, I was held in awe. The more I think about it, though, I beg you consider, your Facebook feed, in reality……

If an actual place, Facebookland would be, best guess, an irrelevantly violent place, with a lot of obnoxious bigots. Think how many people’s comments you read make you wish you could punch them on the nose, praise be the day you could do it.

As soon as you arrive in Facebookland numpties will be thrusting dishes of food in your face, not offering you any, rather just to show you what they’re eating. “Look at what my wife made!” They’ll bellow, “look at what I got at Nandos;” for crying out loud.

Cats and other pets will be everywhere, doing cute stunts, and people will demand you watch them. The skyline will be filled with billboards of misinformation and propaganda in block capitals and primary school grammatical errors. Every book or newspaper will be in emoji, everyone will be shouting, few people somehow liking, but not really listening, because they’re too busy doing their own shouting.

Opinionated keyboard warriors you can punch, Facebookland would resemble a Tekken tag team tournament more than real life. I’d give Greta Thunberg about thirty seconds in there. Endless chains of people, stopping you to ask if you know what time Lidl is open, can you recommend a carpet fitter, or asking if you know what the handbrake light on their car means. If anything, the internet has lessened idle chitchat between strangers on the street, and you want to head back into a virtual realm where it perpetually occurs? You’ll be late for work every morning.

Late for work because fifty people stopped you on the street to thrust a photograph of a renowned philosopher in your face, only to ramble off some supposed inspirational quote you doubt they even said. Late because you had a dying need to discover your Star Wars bounty hunter name, by melding letters from your postcode with the name of your first pet, and returning home to find someone ransacked your flat and emptied your piggy bank.

No need for a police force, face it, everyone is a cop, everyone is a robber. Power-hungry group admins acting like bouncers at the door of a nightclub, spammers saunter town like chuggers, eavesdropping your every word. Whisper the word trampoline, I double-dare you, and a hundred frenzied trampoline salesmen will mob you.

My last Facebook Messenger request was a message from a total stranger who felt the need to tell me her “vagina was very beautiful.” For reasons of account privacy, I ignored it, I get similar messages racing through my spam filter daily. Another one said, “I’m naked, without my clothes,” which in itself is either presumptuous, assuming I don’t know the definition of the word naked, or they have devised some ingenious method of being clothed and naked simultaneously. Imagine these in real life, it’d be harder to ignore. You’re walking with the wife, and a woman saunters up to you to tell you her vagina was beautiful; where do you look?

Alongside this constant red-light district, life for the beautiful would be an endless building site, where wolf-whistles and chauvinistic taunts ring out perpetually. There’s a cathedral of far-right knuckle-draggers and a flat Earth theorists beach café; are they the kind of Facebook users I really wish to bump into on the street?

Child free too, Facebookland, teenagers all live separately in Instagramville and Tik-Tok Town, twerking and kicking each other’s doors. The entire day spent in the park choregraphing a Kayne West move, where bikini-clad chicks are pranked by a twentysomething so-called magician, else trying to craft a diamond sword in a pixilated universe, while a Superman skin is kicking the butts of innocent bystanders on an urban street.

Guess you’ll find me at the gig, where I don’t need put my beer down to clap at the end of the song, just fire off a handclapping emoji. And every so often, people ignore you, because they’re busy checking their real self in some far-off realm called reality, where everyone lives in a plastic box floating in the ocean; it’ll never catch on, least not until 2030.

And we’ll eat, imaginary humus and iceberg lettuce, drink nettle tea and be merrily, liking each other’s status updates in real time, remembering those sadly passed over to the other side, Twitter Island; we had to let him go, by the end he was talking in hashtags.

And you thought a holographic Abba concert was annoyingly cutting edge.

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Countywide Halloween Pranksters and General Crime Rates Sets “Wiltshire Live” to Unfairly Roast Devizes

Who in Devizes has been upsetting the local gutter press now?! Detached from a relatively good idea, Wiltshire 999’s, a blog which once reported current crimes and police matters, a tabloid version called Wiltshire Live has risen like a phoenix from the ashes, most likely to prove more profitable.

With their Facebook page constantly phishing for personal info, it publishes regular slapdash magazine style articles gaining popularity as it trundles. Unlike the historically founded Newsquest group which publishes newspapers such as the Swindon Advertiser and Gazette & Herald, without the restraints of mainstream journalism it is able to deliver some shock tactical pieces, it seems with a penchant for highlighting Devizes as a pretty dire place to live.

Reactionary it maybe, every angry click appeases its advertisers, I’m sure many Devizes residents have seen yesterday’s posts on local Facebook pages by the journalist herself, which states out of 22 areas of Wiltshire, measured by a crime-rate map, designed by an independent website, Devizes has the “greatest spread of crime out of all of the Wiltshire’s areas included in this database.”

Gut reaction to this is understandably to deny it, be shocked and exasperated, because we live here and we love it, and we walk around feeling relatively safe. Those who have lived elsewhere perhaps even more aware Devizes is not Wiltshire’s answer to Mexico’s Tijuana, where approximately seven people are murdered daily, yet neither is Wiltshire Live making it out to be. It does clearly state the county is in the top ten safest places in the country, already knocking some severity off the claim.

Originally then I determined to scrutinise this “crime-map,” ready to criticise the website for defamatory claims on Devizes, but hey-ho, story checks out; miserably, Devizes does score highest, but only in the way the reporter was reading it. Starter for ten, the “crime map” runs on quantity against population percentage, so effectively an all-out bloodthirsty massacre scores a point, equally does a Parkinson’s sufferer caught with a spliff in his own garden, or a chancing teenager pinching a porkpie from Morrisons.

Tranquil Devizes, photographed yesterday!

There is no judgement on the severity of the crime, then, only that it was reported. Again, in Wiltshire Live’s defence, it does say it’s, “vital to consider, is that many crimes sadly go unreported, making statistics like these never 100% accurate,” ergo, if Devizes currently has the greatest spread of crime out of all of the Wiltshire’s areas included in this database, something failed to mention is that Devizes also has a knack of reporting incidents, and that’s surely the mainstay to solving and counteracting them, rather then, ha, you know, just reporting scare stories for hits; correct me if I’m wrong.

So, reading the data differently, Devizes has 988 reported crimes, against Swindon’s 11,503, Salisbury’s 3,177 and even Melksham, with a similar population, weighs in greater than Devizes, with 1,064. Much as I’d liked to have changed my angle on this story, and defend Wiltshire Live, today I find another, separate story, saying “police are investigating a new TikTok trend called ‘heartbeat challenge’ – where kids play loud music outside a house and kick the front door in time to the beat.” While this is obviously happening nationally if not internationally, Wiltshire Live informs “houses in Wiltshire have been targeted,” and then adds the cliff-hanger, “including a home in Devizes.” One has to wonder why Devizes has been singled out, named and shamed, when homes across the county have been hit by the appalling prank.

The issue I have is, running scare stories for clickbait like this is counterproductive against suggesting methods to help reduce crime, it only exists to sensationalise, in my honest opinion. Because an article like this is followed by many not bothered to read it fully, consequently resulting in a bombardment of social media comments like Chinese whispers. The article is shabby, given another six months another small town could top our terrible statistic, in journalistic jargon “it’s got legs,” yet not through content, rather the social media storm in a teacup it’ll no doubt cause.

Firstly, to face the blame game is the young, obviously. Too wrapped up with other social media sites to defend themselves on “fogie” Facebook, it’s fair to say many a petty crime is caused by younger people, bored with nothing better to be doing, because playgrounds are in state of disrepair, activities and social clubs have been axed or underfunded, and they’re set an example by a lying, lawbreaking government set to increase the rate of criminal activity in order to make themselves look better. In times of discontent crime rates rise as a consequence, history proves this.

Let’s look at the most serious of crimes, taking another’s life. In Devizes last year we had an arson attack, police arrested a man on suspicion of murder, who was twenty. Karl Quincey was 35 when he was convicted of killing Barry Cooper in 2008. Michael Chudley was 63 when he shot James Ward in the head with a sawn-off shotgun in 2013. None of them best described as “young,” unless you’re Bill Wyman. Even ancient murderers in Devizes disproves this banal theory, The Devizes Petticoat Murder, Benjamin Purnell was 51 when he was charged with the wilful murder of his wife, Emily, in 1889.

Devizes at its best; proper job fantastic!

One commenter duly noted out of the 988 reported crimes, 978 were bike theft, to receive a plethora of amused emojis in response, although according to the crimerate website, and despite a known spate of bike theft, it’s not true. Rather, more shockingly “The most common crimes in Devizes are violence and sexual offences, with 457 offences during 2020, giving a crime rate of 39. This is 10% higher than 2019’s figure of 411 offences and a difference of 3.95 from 2019’s crime rate of 35. Devizes’s least common crime is robbery, with 5 offences recorded in 2020, a decrease of 80% from 2019’s figure of 9 crimes.”

So, there is a decrease in there, failed to be mentioned in the article. But whoa, sexual offences are on the increase, in all parts of the county. This, in a week when scare stories about drink “spiking” in clubland rolled mainstream media, young girls suggesting they don’t bother going out anymore due to the danger of drugs being either put in drinks or even injected when in close proximity. In running an entertainment guide, I want to encourage people to go out, but to enjoy themselves, yet I’m in the dark here, not been “clubbing” since……well, I’m not intending to disclose how long!

Therefore, it was deeply concerning to of read this trend, and I’ve contacted both Devizes Police and The Exchange nightclub in Devizes for their thoughts, on what they’re doing to best prevent this, and what to do if you think you’ve been spiked. Most of all, I was interested to know how common this was in Devizes, because, and I even said this, even though incidents have been reported in Salisbury and Swindon, I felt clubbers here were less likely to be victims, because Devizes was far safer. And I still believe it is, despite this damming report.

Should I change my angle on this too, I wonder, and go with on premise set out by Wiltshire Live, that you’re statistically more likely to be a victim in Devizes than any other small town in Wiltshire, as I would hate to think I’ve projected the notion it’s not something to worry too much about, provided you take the precautions set out by those organisations I contacted? Who knows, because I’m still awaiting replies from both the Exchange and Police. A shame if they feel it superfluous to respond, when you’d think it’s a message in their benefit to get out.

Hold the front page, I plead with both organisations to reply, so we can advise how to avoid such terrible incidents, because I’m not writing this shit for prestige or cold cash, I’m writing from the heart, and care not if you wish to advertise your business here, or if this gets sufficient hits for Word Ads.

Furthermore, if you’ve been affected by a sexual offence like being spiked, in Devizes, and feel you’ve some advice to give others, please do contact us, your anonymity will be respected.

I’ll say it how it is, thank you, and it is that Devizes is no more dangerous than any other Wiltshire market town, in my opinion, based on wandering around at night hunting gigs and cider! It is disheartening to hear crime is on the increase, yet I strongly suspect this is true nationwide, and I bid while you take care out there, not to rise to the bait and fear for your safety in such a great place to live.

There, given my tuppence, for what it’s worth, can I have my tea now?!

Trending….

Danny, Champion of the Food Bank

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Song of the Week: Lucky Number Seven

Bristol’s purveyors of emotive post-grunge verging on etherealwave, Lucky Number Seven get our song of the week today, for their latest burst of harrowing energy,…

The First Ever Devizes Pride Announced

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An Amazing Devizes Concert for Opendoors

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Potterne, and its Festival

It’s one Devizine overlooked somewhat last year, arranged rather last minute, clashed with Full-Tone, but was still a 1,250-strong sell-out nonetheless. Potterne is not all…

Does Wiltshire Council’s Climate Strategy Lack Ambition and Commitment?

A month after Wiltshire Council’s Climate Strategy was criticised by the Wiltshire Climate Alliance for lacking “ambition and commitment to achieving its goal of seeking to make Wiltshire carbon neutral by 2030,” I’m horrified, yet not surprised to see social media pages still maintaining climate change is a hoax, when I thought all was pretty much conclusive, and a majority, aside political opinion, accepted that climate change is real, and is happening.

I was checking out a Facebook page called “Climate Change is a Hoax,” because, for the same reason I occasionally click on the fascist GB News site, I enjoy deliberately annoying myself with the stupidity of far-right illogic! With a laughable forty-one “likes,” it hardly carries much clout, neither many of its shared articles remained live after factchecking algorithms stripped them bare. But one YouTube video by Canadian conspiracy theorists, The Climate Discussion Nexus does give sensible argument against climate change, just when I tarnished them with the same brush as flat-earth theorists.

The content of the video portrays Michael Mann akin to a narcissistic nerdy schoolkid, who assumes his homework is superior to everyone else’s, simply because he did it, and claims other researcher’s papers have been poo-pooed by the IPCC in favour for Mann’s. While I shrug, the United Nations owns the IPCC, and is an intergovernmental body, it’s not completely impossible climate change has been exaggerated for this supposed purpose of “controlling the masses,” or for any other bizarre reasoning they invent, I have to question, what if they are wrong? Furthermore, quotes from the “about” section of the Facebook page such as “don’t let the globalists and socialists destroy our lives,” is so chockful of falsehoods and propaganda I don’t know where to begin. Least not when the majority of the world today seems to politically side on the right, who commonly seem to debunk climate change, and so-called globalists and socialists are not in power anyway. Hence the reason the world spins on its axis and nothing much appears to get done to tackle the issue.

Come in, let’s squabble, oh, apologies, just step over that cataclysmic natural disaster someone left out asking to be tripped over, there’s a good fellow.

So, what if either side of the argument is wrong? If those who believe in climate change are wrong, we’ve been duped and possibly even burdened by a bunch of passive reformist lefties, which sounds far better than previous historic oppressing by purists and conservative philosophies, which always seems to result in bloodthirsty wars. So, we dust ourselves off, mix plastics with household waste again, break out our diesel Chelsea tractors and drive to the abattoir for steak pie.

However, if those who believe climate change is a hoax are wrong, we’ve either caused the extinction of all life on earth, including ourselves, or least ignored the chance to slow or prevent it from happening. Seriously, you have to ask yourself which possible outcome you’d prefer. Personally, I’m thinking being oppressed by lefties, which equates to eating lentils and maybe listening to Buffalo Springfield, then allowing everyone to die in catastrophic disasters, is the better option of the two, but hey, that’s just me.

Therefore, it goes without saying, on a local level, I’m keen to hear what climate change specialists think of our county council’s climate strategy, being they’ve a majority conservative seating, and by my reckoning, seems while not every conservative is a climate change denier, all climate change deniers seem to have a conservative ethos. Suspicious some lurk in Bythesea Road, I asked the Wiltshire Climate Alliance, who formed from a meeting of over twenty interest groups from across Wiltshire a year after the moment Wiltshire Council acknowledged that there was a climate emergency and set themselves a target to make Wiltshire carbon neutral by 2030. Which was in 2019, even though a seminal paper by Swedish scientist, Svante Arrhenius first predicted changes in atmospheric carbon dioxide levels, and noted they could substantially alter the surface temperature through the greenhouse effect, in 1896, you know, these things take time.

Wiltshire Climate Alliance (WCA) welcomes the fact that Wiltshire Council is developing a Climate Strategy but laments its lack of ambition and commitment to achieving its goal of seeking to make Wiltshire carbon neutral by 2030. Bill Jarvis of WCA’s Steering Group described it as, “recognising that major changes are needed but lacking any commitment or timescale for reducing emissions outside of the Council’s own operations,” adding that “there is little sense of the urgency needed for taking action, and a dependency on future plans and policies that may take us in the opposite direction.”

And there was me thinking they didn’t bother trimming the hedgerows of the A361 because of “reforestation,” our minute contribution to a worldwide area the size of China which needs to be restored to forest before it having much effect. The WCA continue, about the IPCC Sixth Assessment Report, predicting the world is likely to exceed 2C between the early 2040s and 50s, and while UN Secretary-General António Guterres said, “the alarm bells are deafening, and the evidence is irrefutable,” The WCA extends this locally by saying, “this renewed urgency doesn’t come across in Wiltshire Council’s Strategy, which speaks of ‘exploring’ and ‘investigating’ the kinds of policies and actions that should by now be in place and well underway.”

The Tyndall Centre calculated, in 2019, that “with no change to current emissions Wiltshire would use up all its budget [to 2050] within seven years.” Ergo, I have to agree, if it seems there will be no significant change to policy or action for at least another two years, where is there any sense of urgency? Apply this ludicrous lucidity to a did I leave the kettle on moment, and your house is potentially toast, my friend.

‘Future delivery plans’ are the order of the Council, yet the WCA explain, “stabilising the climate requires rapid, deep and sustained emissions reductions. It is particularly concerning that the Strategy provides no detail of how its objectives will be delivered.”

They worry Wiltshire Council’s decarbonisation objectives will be no more than a ‘wish list’ in the Local Plan, Local Transport Plan and other plans, most of which have completely contrary objectives and will not be in place for at least two years. WCA would like to see the Strategy go further, and recommend a moratorium on implementing climate destructive, high emission plans and policies until such time as detailed carbon reduction delivery plans have been adopted, and it has set out its concerns.

Wiltshire Climate Alliance is keen to continue to support Wiltshire Council and its councillors in taking the urgent action that is now required. “The solutions are clear,” they say, “achievable and a large number are touched on in this document. However, they require political will to make them happen. There is limited need for more evidence gathering, investigations and assessments. But there is an urgent need for more ambition and immediate action in areas in which others are already showing leadership.”

Okay look, I’m no tree hugger, love a bacon butty, and, I’m willing to admit, my presumptions climate change deniers lurk at county hall is a scare story evolved from the content of worldwide keyboard warriors, adamant on spreading myths. But it is exasperating, becoming tiresome, and dreadfully perilous to assume they’ve no influence at any level of politics. Here’s hoping the WCA can urge Wiltshire’s residents and its elected representatives to join in demanding better, as the steering group say, “climate denial must not be replaced by delaying climate action.”

Their website is here, Facebook page here, there’s a petition; Wiltshire Council should make Carbon Reduction a top priority in every Council decision, a Facebook discussion group too, and a demonstration this Tuesday (19th October) at Trowbridge Civic Centre.

Trending….

Song of the Week: Sara Vian

Normally Wednesday, Song of The Week, but I was having one of those Wednesday days, you know the sort, too middley aren’t they, bit gloomy?…

Song of the Week: Deadlight Dance

It’s Wednesday night, it’s Song of the Week time…. I’m just amazed with myself that I’ve actually committed to this new regular feature for a…

George Floyd Statue, Defaced, Because, of Course, That’s the First Time Anyone Made a Statue of Someone Who Committed a Crime…..?!

The media reports the bust statue of George Floyd in New York has been vandalised for a second time since its erection, and eager after a day of downtime, keyboard warriors take to Facebook careful not to expose their hypocrisy and racism, with comments along the lines of “they build statues of criminals now, whatever next?!” Because, of course, that’s the first time anyone made a statue of someone who committed a crime. Really? Wind your neck in.

True George Floyd had some petty convictions, but I wonder if he was involved with the Royal African Company, and transported over 84,000 Africans to the Americas, of whom 19,000 died on the journey, and in turn, if they said the same when Edward Colston’s statue was torn down in Bristol.

One man’s martyr can be another’s terrorist, one man’s revolutionary is another’s extremist, consequently thousands of statues are controversially questionable, and historically suffered damaging attacks against them. Though President Trump lapped up his brutal methods of dealing with terrorists, we all recall Firdos Square’s Saddam Hussain’s statue coming down, and no one in the western world battered an eyelid, because he was the baddie of the moment, weapons of mass destruction, or not, or whatever, America, fuck yeah! In fact, just like Lenin’s statutes being brought down across Ukraine in 2014, conservative thinkers saw it as symbolic, and celebrated. Yet when the emphasis is on statues of Confederates and slaveholders, the tables were turned and knickers get in a twist. Stone Mountain depicts leaders of the Confederacy, how far should we take this?

I’ve always loved Westminster Bridge’s Boudiccan Rebellion statue, and I’d probably been rooting for her revolt against Roman rule, but if I were a Roman, I’d probably be slightly narked by it, being her army showed no mercy when brutally razing London, Colchester and St Albans, slaying 70,000 Romans. Similarly, if I was Fatty Fudge, (which isn’t so far from the truth as it may sound) I’d be offended by Minnie Minx’s statue in Dundee.

Despite his passive hippy perception, it’s reported John Lennon was violent, he kicked a fan in the face when he tried to jump the stage. It’s common knowledge he almost beat Bob Wooler the deejay at the Cavern Club to death at Paul McCartney’s 21st birthday party; imagine, still, they made a statue of him.

Mount Rushmore was built on seized land, and designed by a sculptor who allegedly had ties to the Ku Klux Klan. Statues are never impartial, they commemorate a person trapped in time, but our response to them isn’t, it moves with current popular opinion and attitudes. Our feelings towards a statute depends on who they were, what they did, who erected them, and in turn, who pulls them down.

Tokyo’s Yakusuni Shrine was established to “commemorate and honour the achievement of those who dedicated their precious lives for their country.” Included among the names inscribed inside the shrine there’s reported at least fourteen known criminals. The architects of Japan’s alliance with Germany and Italy during World War II are on there, there’s a general directly responsible for the attack on the US fleet at Pearl Harbour, and another who ordered a battle that resulted in a massacre that killed 200,000 civilians in 1937.

“Anti-doggers” had a whole different meaning in 1906 London, they were hordes of rioting medical students, condoners of vivisection who police held back from destroying Battersea’s Brown Dog statue, erected to memorialize the infamous brown dog and the many other sacrificed animals. In the end the protests were too much and Battersea Council removed it under cover of darkness.

In reverse to the vandalism of the George Floyd statue, the Haymarket statues commemorating of the “robust policeman, in his countenance frank, kind, and resolute,” who were bombed by a raging mob in Illinois in 1886 was frequently damaged and marred by both bombs and even a streetcar rammed it. The reason? The bomb was thrown in retaliation to a previous protest in Chicago where, feeling threatened by the crowd, the policemen in question fired into it, killing six people.

And there’s my point, through the acquirement of all the facts over time, judgements will change, and justifications for tearing down a statue, or not, differ. For the people of Bristol of largely of Afro-Caribbean origin to have to walk past a statue of someone who factually oppressed, flogged and murdered their forefathers, overlooking them as a constant reminder of the horrors of our colonial past, every day, is prejudicial, and their peaceful campaign to have it removed was ignored for decades.

Boris Johnson said tearing down statues amounts to “lying about our history” and that it is “absurd and shameful.” Yet the Colston statue is a lie, a monumental historic fib, symbolic of the cover-up and deception of an unashamed industry, and to want to keep it absurd and shameful. But this all-seeing eye, a permanent fixture of an ancient bastard staring down at them from its plinth is a testament to racism, and that is a whole different ballpark from a simple bust of victim of police brutality over in the USA, which is vandalised while his body is still warm, while the movement is still in swing and youth of the era are still inspired by the occurrence.

If in a hundred- and twenty-seven-years attitudes have changed, or further facts about Floyd have been uncovered, and it seems justified to tear it down, so be it, but at least wait for time to heal the wounds of those effected by the movement.

Some Reasons Why I Enjoyed Jesus Christ Superstar at The Wharf

One reason why I enjoyed Jesus Christ Superstar at Devizes Wharf Theatre yesterday evening, is similar to why I like sci-fi and fantasy genres.

No, hear me out, long winded it maybe, but there’s a point! With sci-fi you can take an earth-bound concept, and moving it from its usual perimeters, see it for what it truly is, without being predetermined via propaganda or personal opinion. Example; racism. Take a green coloured race of aliens fighting with a blue race, and from outside looking in you can see how completely meaningless and rash it is.

Jesus Christ Superstar throws out preconceptions of this renowned Easter story, bought about by biblical re-enactments and more commonly accepted adaptions. In essence, it’s a rock opera, opera is tragedy, and rock music is modernised, least it was when Tim Rice and Andrew Llyod Webber created it.

I often wonder what it was like for Michael Jackson, in the limo to the show, mobbed by obsessive devotees throwing themselves unashamedly at him. In a way, the tragic desolation and isolation of fame is more the subject in question, rather than the biblical Easter story. Just like our sci-fi scenario, it never suggests a religious connection, never states definitively that Jesus is the son of God. It takes the story out of the usual context and reconnects the dots.

The set is deliberately void, mostly of black backdrop, and props are minimal. Rather than a school play’s amateurishly painted scene, the darkness leaves the setting to your imagination. While Nazareth and Rome are mentioned, there’s no depiction of it. The concentration is flowed into the characters and music. For Jesus here is unlike another representation; in fact, I’d argue Brian from Monty Python’s “Life of” is closer! Played convincingly by Jordan Overton, if this was intentional, I found Jesus actually quite irritating. Far from blasphemous given the circumstances, for here he’s unforgiving, frustrated at the mounting iconic hysteria surrounding him. Probably more likely how it would be, especially in the modern era.

If Jordan made a grand job of it, more so did the surrounding characters, for Judas is Jerry if Jesus is Tom, the tension between the two the narrative. Arguably Peter Assirati’s performance is passionately executed greater, the focus on his despair is equal pegging, as Judas feels overexposure will be Jesus’s ruin. Like washed up rock stars or actors in the modern era, we know from tragedies like Marylin Monroe, to Whitney and Kurt Cobain, the feeling is real. In a way then, the lines between protagonist and antagonist are blurred, another reason why I liked this piece of musical theatre.

More general is the third reason; the Wharf is such a splendid asset to Devizes. This historic shoebox theatre central to town is so welcoming, if the doormat was curled at the edge staff would lie over it so you don’t trip. Chat in the auditorium is not of condescending theatre-goers and thespians, rather an almost family ambience with an age demographic to match. As with most venues, lockdown flogged this theatre, kicking it while it was down. Those who can, bearing in mind ticket stubs here are far more reasonably priced than city playhouses, are dutybound to help it to its feet. I witnessed said devotion firmly in place already, as Jesus Christ Superstar plays to a full house.

The fourth reason I enjoyed it is simply the surprise element. I went in critical, didn’t expect to actually like it, given the theme tune’s school playground variant of yore, set to ridicule it with Yamahas and dustbin lids, was wedged in my mind. Anyone younger will have to ask Alexa about this; I’ve exposed my age enough already!

I tip my hat to the performances of additional characters, Pete Winterton casted perfectly for the seventies-fashioned game show host version of Herod, breathing one humorous element to the tragedy, at least! Francis Holmes as Caiaphas made for the textbook managerial role and convincingly bellowed his solo with professionalism.

Emma Holmes and Chris Smith’s recitals of Simon and Peter, respectively, being especially poignant. None so much though as Mary Magdalene, played by Cassy Swann, who, with her astute expressions of woe and loyalty, her superior voice commanded the stage above all else. In this, full credit has also to be awarded to Victoria Warren, music director, and the band, Jennifer Cardno, Bob Ball, Claire Borovac and John Joy, for limited to a four-piece, amalgamated the show to epic and euphoric proportions.

You should note, if you go see this, at the time, amidst the hullabaloo surrounding its controversial subject, it took the best part of decade to alter from rock opera album to the stage in London, and only because of its success in the USA. True music fans will recognise this more as an album of music than a play, ergo the dynamics of elaborate stage effects are deliberately stripped back, the opening of Jesus Christ Superstar rightfully displays the band playing the overture prior to actors taking their stance. But go see it you should; decide quick and seize a ticket post haste. It’s only running at the Wharf Theatre until this Saturday, the 18th September, and last time I checked, tickets are up for grabs weekdays, Saturday is sold out.

Please buy our compilation album of local music, all proceeds go to Julia’s House, thank you!
WIN 2 tickets to Gary in Punderland @ Devizes Corn Exchange by clicking on the poster!

Trending……

Devil’s Doorbell Live EP from the Pump

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Petrichor; New Album by The Lost Trades

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Song of the Week: Atari Pilot

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Trouble at the Vic, Ant Trouble….

Something of a family reunion at Swindon’s Vic last night, then, if as Adam Ant chanted, we are the family, the dandy highwayman so sick…

Devizes Street Festival; Black Rat Monday Lives on….

There are two giant kangaroos hopping through Long Street in Devizes, one bantering to a passer-by in a mock-Aussie accent, “no, I’m not into bondage, you can’t tie me down, sport!”

Meanwhile a gypsy woman riding a quad-cycle with a double bass attached follows a dapper man in top hat and tails, playing a piano on wheels, adorned with flowery ornaments and mirrors, past the Nationwide on Maryport Street. This isn’t your archetypal afternoon in town, this is a scattered post-lockdown version of DOCA’s beloved Devizes Street Festival, and while this isn’t going to be quite as simple for me to angle this time around, it is, unarguably, something fantastic.

With the main stage outside the Corn Exchange missing this year, there was no centrepiece binding the annual event together, therefore from the outside looking in, one could perceive it being all rather mishmash. I feel this was intentional, to avoid crowding, and a wise move considering the circumstances. The crucial point is, the magic was still there, for all ages; side stalls, street food, fairground rides, static and wandering circus acts and street theatre all played as colourful and lively part of the street festival as it ever did, it was just dispersed around the town centre.

If the lack of live music was a shame this time around, least it drew attention to side attractions. I’ve a particular penchant for the offbeat street theatre, fondly reminding me of sunny Glastonbury festivals of yore. It is, then, precisely this, and the variety of side attractions, especially catering for children which spells out to me, this is so much more than the perceived monumental piss-up locals dub, “Black Rat Monday,” with its monocultured ethos of cider-swigging debauchery.

However, and this is a big however, if DOCA wishes to cast off this label, that is it’s prerogative to do so, but they should note the nickname is not to be taken seriously, it is all part of a running joke in true west country fashion, an inward banter of ironic overstatement. Folk know it’s more than the sum of downing as much cider as they can, that’s the joke. Backside of the coin, though, a large part of the community does want exactly that. Far from loutish behaviour, the spirit of eat, drink and be merry is imbedded in our history.

But, as of yet, there’s no indication DOCA wish to cast the namesake off, being despite informing The British Lion, after their mainstay position serving the apple poison about-centre for a mere couple of decades, that their presence is no longer required, they themselves sold Black Rat cider solely other than Pimm’s, at their own bar. I sigh at this, considered titling this piece, “a shame,” but supposed later, DOCA’s overheads must be ginormous, laying such a memorable and legendary event on for free, scraping a tad back from sales of said cider plays a small part and the need to do this is understandable.

I’m impartial on this one, not here to cast accusations or play a blame game, taking on board, and agreeing with much of the hearsay and rumours revolving through the natives, though. Local politics isn’t my bag, if there’s monopolising tactics at the root of this, I think that’s unfair and certainly not in the community spirit of the event, at all.

And there it lies, in a word; community. Keep the “international” in the title, by all means, I, and I believe I speak for most of us when I say bringing the worldwide stage to our doorsteps with a plethora of top world music acts is a wonderful idea and we love DOCA for it, but this doubles-up, and always did, as a festival for the community. DOCA abide by this with plentiful locally sourced side attractions, but personally I think we need to honour local talent too.

I’d welcome artistic director Loz to give me a bell come the time for booking acts, and be it from my own personal judgement or a Facebook poll, ask me to name two local acts who deserve to be on the main stage billing. And at least two do, those who’ve excelled through these challenging times and take a little piece of Devizes with them around the country. If it’s a mouthful to call it, “the Devizes International Community Street Festival,” then just “Devizes Street Festival” will suffice.

Of course, DOCA did take heed, and allowed a secondary local music stage in 2019, of which Pete and Jackie of Vinyl Realm completely funded and organised. This was something beautiful, and became a key feature of the street festival that year. But no matter how large this goes, it will always feel like a bolt-on, when what I’d really appreciate is the pick of local talent up on that main stage.

There, said my piece, and don’t wish to end on a sour note, not that it was, just constructive criticism. Children are trampolining in Sidmouth Street, while a couple of, what can only be described as “rock n roll slappers” entice passers-by to peak into their ‘peepshow’ wooden box at the other end. Limbo dancers outside the town hall, with a man rolling around inside an oversized metal hull-a-hoop, and a giant exoskeleton puppet wanders down the Brittox, stopping to sniff the hanging baskets. How can I possibly be critical about any of this? Rising against the challenges, DOCA made an absolutely fantastic show of colour, curiosity and entertainment, amidst vibrant atmosphere, this is a town-wide show unlike any other and should never be taken for granted.

I tip my hat to DOCA as a samba band play by the Market Place cross, but I feel impelled to check out the British Lion, all things considered, and that lengthy beer garden sure is alive with punters, those loyal to the Black Rat. Tom Harris, Pat Ward, Claire et all, play unplugged as a barbeque for Dorothy House sizzles and friends gather to mark their appreciation of “the British.” And that is the true meaning of “community,” it doesn’t need props and extravagant shows, it just takes hospitality and compromise.

That said I’m pleased to see those trampolines, extending the street festival out from the Market Place, as it’s a stone throw from the welcoming pub, and combined it into the event rather than making it feel out on a limb, and for that, for the whole bank holiday weekend, what with Full Tone frenzy too, Devizes is truly great, when it works together. The British Lion is an institution here in the ‘Vizes, the reliably stable free house has stood the test of time with little need to fix its unbroken charm. This is the only regular gig on their calendar which sees them gallivanting from their bar and making an appearance in the Market Place, something which has become equally as traditional as the event itself. It is a shame not to have them present this year. Competition is healthily, remember, a range of breweries can compromise and find a solution, of that, I’m certain, and look forward to the possibility it will be so in future years.

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Painting With Sound; Will Lawton & The Alchemists New EP

Perhaps you’ve noticed of recent, my overuse of the word “sublime?” I could apologise, and worry abusing a word lessens its clout, despite happening to like it, but I ask you humour me; I’m going to use it again today, in a thoroughly slamming-my-fist-on-the-desk-like-I-really-mean-it type way! Malmesbury’s purveyors of cool, Will Lawton & The Alchemists…

Avon Vale Hunt Suspended from the British Hounds Sports Association

If Bob Marley used a Jamaican proverb for a line in I Shot the Sheriff , “Every day the bucket a-go a well, One day the bottom a-go drop out,”  it really has for the notorious Avon Vale Hunt, who’ve been suspended from the British Hounds Sports Association, following some sickening video footage…… I guess…

Song of the Week: Ajay Srivastav

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Shakespeare’s Problem Play Comes to The Wharf Theatre

Following her recent successful production of As You Like It, at Devizes’ Wharf Theatre, Liz Sharman returns with another Shakespeare masterpiece, Measure for Measure. Often cited as one of Shakey’s Problem Plays, characterised by complex and ambiguous tones, pugnaciously shifting between straightforward comic material and dark, psychological drama, Measure for Measure is a predecessor to…

Weekly Roundup of Events in Wiltshire: 8th – 14th February 2023

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Swan Dies in Road Accident at The Crammer

A swan from the Crammer hit on the road between Morrison’s roundabout and the traffic lights this morning, has died…. In territorial disputes, the wildfowl will chase others, and they will flee onto the road. In other cases, desperate for food, some venture afield and cross the dangerous road. Emotionally upset, founding member of the…

If Old Photos of Devizes Were Posted on Social Media Today…..

Looking at old photos of Devizes can be a pleasurable way to spend a Sunday morning, such a beautiful and historic market town we live in, and things haven’t changed all that much…. architecturally…. But what if these photographs were posted on local Facebook groups today? What would the comments be? Our non-roving reporter, Karen…

The Great Pothole Debacle; Are Wiltshire Councillors Teleported into County Hall?!

As a younger chap, for it once was so, I’d procrastinate with the washing-up, putting it off until the point I’d run out of cutlery or crockery. By this time the daunting task of tackling the mountain was too much to bear. Not forgoing, I’d be suspicious organic matter in the sink could’ve evolved into…

Song of the Week: Sienna Wileman

Okay, I admit it, our Song of the Day feature was too optimistic, and failing every day to post a tune meant it fell by the wayside. Song of the Week, think I can manage that, just! Let’s reintroduce it now, every Wednesday without fail, pinky promise, and do the first one right about now!…

Is Devizes Ready for The Full-Tone Festival?!

Amidst the controversial decision by Emily Eavis to headline Jay-Z at Glastonbury Festival in 2008, in which included Noel Gallagher throwing his toys from his pram, while UK press went on a bender about an imagined ethos of exactly what Glasto is, and what it should be presenting, I read an American article hitting back with the headline “is Glastonbury big enough for Jay Z?”

One has to ponder if the author who penned such piffle in retaliation had ever seen Glastonbury, let alone been, and had any inkling what it means to so many people. On this basis I thought of, but then rejected, this headline to be “is Devizes big enough for the Full-Tone Orchestra?!”

Organiser and better half of the composer, Jemma Brown tells me the capacity of the Green is 3,000 but next weekend’s (28th-29th August) event is restricted to half, “so everyone feels safe.” But, it’s not a question of “is Devizes big enough for the Full-Tone Orchestra,” rather our fortunate premise, the Full-Tone Orchestra is now a part of Devizes, no less than the brewery or canal. They’ve ventured to other local towns, Marlborough College, Swindon’s Wyvern, to present their eclectic genre orchestra, but Devizes is home sweet home, and 95% of shows have been based here.

Here’s the biting point, and something I’ve come to understand better, staging such an event like this is not pocket money. Yes, Full-Tone successfully crowdfunded to put on a free show in the Market Place in 2019, but this is not an avenue any event organiser can slog and expect to come up trumps each time.

For an entertainment package as stupendous as Full-Tone to be in our humble dwelling, it needs and deserves our support, and while a majority will tell you so on the street, ears to the ground unearth some rather inexcusable and inappropriate notions. Firstly, you cannot expect anyone to provide you a free show annually, just because they did once before, and secondly, it’s an “erm,” to the idea Full-Tone is some kind of commercial enterprise gaining only to profit. “It’s just not why we’re doing it,” Jemma pledges, “we’re doing it to bring an orchestra into the centre of Devizes and for the love of all things music!”

At this conjunction, just one weekend away from the show, you have to ask yourself, would the same level of display as 2019’s Market Place not become tiresomely samey after a while? Full-Tone wish to expand on the experience, to progress and make it better. “The sound and lighting will be fabulous and to do that we have to pay good dollar!” Jemma tells me, and to do such, ticket sales is the only option.

Phew, glad I got that off my chest! Can we all be friends again? Anyone putting on any event right now needs our backing and deserves a medal, in my honest opinion. Anyone organising an event must worry it’s either going to go two ways, overloaded with a cabin-fevered raging mob or fail to impress enough to drag apprehensive troops out from their lockdown shelters, as if the hospitality industry isn’t it in enough deep water. My chat with Jemma today went onto me mentioning a time I was juggling the attention of three gigs in Devizes in one night; a time we took live music for granted, and looking back now, well, you go figure.

Least we can be sure, unlike Emily Eavis and her longing to update her father’s institution, Noel Gallagher won’t be on a wobbler because an upcoming US hip hop star is upstaging him! 28th-29th August sees the sixty-piece Full-Tone Orchestra present a very local affair, not only their all-encompassing themes, from big band and film scores to euphoric dance anthems, but Pete Lamb’s Heartbeats, jazz singer Archie Combe and The Red Bandits on Sunday.

It’s been some years since I sat in Rowde School after school hours. No, not like a kid in detention, rather to see the orchestra rehearsing the Star Wars theme. I believe Jemma was encouraging me to direct my satirical rant column from Index;Wiltshire, No Surprises Living in Devizes to more positive pastures, which kind of went totally against the concept of the column. But it was running fast out of ammo, because, underneath it all, Devizes is a great town and I love living here.

Hence, Devizine was born, a sort of counter-strike against all the negativity I once brushed Devizes with. So, if you want to blame someone, Jemma is also an accessory! The icing on that cake will be a Devizes rendezvous on the Green; hope to see you there!

Tickets Here.

Trending…

On The Wayside with Viduals

Akin to Ghostbuster’s nemesis Slimer when he appears over the hotdog stand, I was squatting a spacious windowsill at Wiltshire Music Centre with an Evie’s…

Old Wharf Café to Become Meeting Room

The Kennet & Avon Trust today revealed plans to convert the old café on Devizes Wharf, Couch Lane, into a meeting facility; how exciting! It…

Delicate, Like A Psychedelicat

What is a psychedelicat, a tin of magic mushroom flavoured Felix?! His picture on the tin certainly displays some suspiciously dilated pupils, but this exaggeration…

Tories Step Up Online Hate Campaign Against Wiltshire PCC Independent Candidate

With just a couple of days until the second Wiltshire PCC election, the first defunct by the Conservatives, local Tory supporters are rallying, keen to criticise and form an online hate campaign against the independent candidate, Mike Rees.

Should we flip this into a positive, clearly, it’s troubling them?!

After Conservatives corrupted the process of the original election by pitching candidate Johnathan Seed for the post, and cost Wiltshire taxpayers £1.4 million for a re-election, when it was discovered, on top of his suspicious activities as hunts master, drink driving convictions disallowed him from standing, it’s little wonder those able to think outside the box might be frustrated by the extravagant and costly campaign for the new conservative candidate Phillip Wilkinson. Especially being he’s tipped to win, based on Wiltshire’s silent majority historically being so blinded by Tory propaganda.

Phillip himself has rightfully been on the sharp end of some challenging questions on his own Facebook page, and has decided the hostile approach is the most suitable. Rudely responding to anyone with a genuine question he might not like the angle of, he’s also bashfully bantered about shooting people, wonkily suggested his military experience is favourable over the experience of policing, in a policing role and anyone dare criticise has been banned from his page. I’m willing to accept this is an oversight on his part, and etiquette on social media is not his field of expertise, still it projects the image of a punitive and unfairly harsh police crime commissioner.

I’m of the opinion here, and don’t let me sway yours, but cannot help but feel the only vision whereby military experience is superior over policing experience for a policing role, is that of Priti Patel’s, where clearly a Gestapo militia is needed to combat a naturally occurring rebellion from an oppressive regime; are we expecting or encouraging, even, a civil war, or are we just after someone to solve common crimes in our county?

In any other circumstance, say a sleeping Shire where crime is comparatively tame, an outstanding retired policeman might be more appropriate for the role, simply down to his on-hand experience. Promote from within though seems to be an outmoded concept, favoured by delusions of grandeur that every politician is super heroic. Evidently proved wrong by the colossal chain to scandals and corruptions of recent; nothing funny to say about it unfortunately, you can’t write comedy like it.  

Lie: He is associated with the Conservative Party, says so on his campaign leaflet!

There is nothing within these public inquiries on his Facebook page to suggest any allegiance to any other candidate, but while other candidates are available, Mike seems to be tenaciously linked. Fact of the matter, I’ve scanned Phillip’s page and find no interaction, be it positive or negative on his page from Mike himself or anyone else involved in his campaign, rather the Lib Dem candidate Brian Mathews, who has rightfully dared challenge Phillip on some of his pledges. Although Lib Dem candidate Liz Webster drew a second-place last time around, the focus seems to entirely rest on Mike.

Tory Devizes Town Councillor Iain Wallis on “the Devizes Issues.”

Spilling outwards from his own page, it’s clear the objective is to slate the independent candidate. While Tory Devizes Town Councillor and admin of the second most popular Facebook group in the town, Iain Wallis is adamant his group is unbiased, he took it upon himself to outright ban any post concerning or promoting Mike Rees on Sunday evening. A step up from outright banning of anyone who attempts to question the conservative candidate. A clear indication the group is about as unbiased as GBeebies, who axed a presenter for a gesture of equality and replaced him with a known fascist lunatic who might be dangerous if it wasn’t for the fact, he’s a man made completely out of foreskin.

We’ve been here before, call a spade a spade, this is clearly an act to condemn the opposition, and should not belong on a supposedly general local Facebook group.

Is it too much to ask for a level playing field, or can we agree Mr Wallis is not Mark Zuckerberg, and other sources for expressing opinion on local issues online are available?! Time to use them and not depend on petty bias Facebook groups political point-scoring.   

In another turn of affairs, on an uncensored Devizes Facebook group where Phillip is admittedly quite harshly criticised, keyboard warriors gathered to immediately point the finger at Mike’s supporters, again, despite there being no reference to him at all the post. Local online meeting points have become assuming while others jump the bandwagon; it’s even gone as far to suggest the support people are showing for Mike is, bizarrely, counterproductive to his campaign and, in another it suggests its angle is perpetrated by “loony lefties!”

Have to shudder at the laughable idiocy displayed here; Labour do have their own guy, Mr Junab Ali, you know? One which incorrectly aforementioned “loony lefties” can opt to vote for, and most likely would. Truth be told, support for the independent candidate is coming from all walks of life, class and political orientation, simply because common sense prevails, a man of past experience is favourable for such an important role, over a politician, no matter what colour rosette they pop on their top pocket. No point in calling an electrician for a plumbing job.

Besides, the hypocrisy is better measured by the bleeding obvious fact that Mike is independent, he’s apolitical, and his whole campaign is based on the PCC role not being a political one, rather the only allegiance he has being with the people the police are supposed to serve! Mr Spock would surely agree with the logic. In speaking several times to Mike, at no time did the subject of politics even arise, and Mike gave no indication to his own political preference.

Not forgoing, the former Detective Superintendent who solved the murder of Sian O’Callaghan, Steve Fulcher is backing Mike Rees, as would, I suspect most police officers, and hardly any of them could be described as “loony lefties!”

 

Mike Rees with Steve Fulcher

It would be a wonder where on earth the notion of left-wing sway in an independent campaigner derives from, if not this underlying concern, seemingly the average conservative thinker assumes anyone with the slightest concern for towing the Tory line completely, comprehensively and without question, must therefore be some kind of imaginary leftist extremist and as reformist as Jeremy Corbyn’s vest.

This is about as shallow as it gets, for the time being. I have to wonder what dirt they’ll pathetically attempt to smear on him next, he probably pulled down the Edward Colston statue, organised the suffragette movement, or is secretly Watt Tyler leader of the 1381 Peasants’ Revolt!

Ah, bless ‘em; you have to salute their comradeship and solidarity, if not their canopy of disillusionment disallowing them gumption. You believe what you will; I’m getting no kudos here, no reason to back any side other than my own self-assurance Mike is without question the chap for the job. And in that there’s no reason for me to be dishonest. Mike is a genuine guy with time for everyone, hardened by the force, firm but fair, the man for the job.

At the time he threw me off the group for suggesting it was unfair to the conservatives to throw money at their campaign, when the outstanding debt in still is dispute, Iain Wallis was keen to suggest I met with Phillip; “if you get the chance to interview Philip, you should take it. He is a good man.” And that’s precisely the argument misrepresented here; they’ve missed the entire point. I’ve not criticised the guy in any way, I’m in no doubt he’s a good guy with personality and charisma. I’m certain he’s effective at his previous roles, and I’m in awe and grateful for the service he has undergone to defend the crown and country. I would never mock any of this at all, rather salute him for this. It’s the hill of these beans though, which I don’t think is in anyway better for the PCC role than a man of previous experience, and it’s as simple as that.

I’d go as far as to say I didn’t even want to come to this party today. I’ve not the time left to interview all candidates, man gotta have a break now and then, and so I decided not to interview any of them. You can read Mike’s interview here. I’d sooner take a backseat on this journey, but messages I’ve received show me this is clearly an issue which folk want me to rant on, therefore I’m always willing to please, if my tuppence is worth anything!

Meanwhile, on Brian’s Campaign trial there’s a petition to Make the Conservatives pay for the re-election bill, click to sign it.

Meanwhile, on Brian’s Campaign trial there’s a petition to Make the Conservatives pay for the re-election bill, click to sign it.

As for labelling this website as bias, I would, if it was, but I’m only here to follow my gut reaction, more often than not supporting the underdog and the righteous; that’s my only ethos, what rosette you wear is up to you, I’d sooner we were all friends, but while extremism is flooding the conservative party, I cannot be in support of it, and deliberately associating the opposition with any negative commentary about their own is unfair, uncalled for downright deliberately devious. I only hope this will blow up in their faces, and the good folk will decide enough is enough, and vote out politics in this PCC election, for the display of deception is clearly being corrupted and this gives me little faith for a well serving police force should the Conservatives win.

Only you, and your vote stand between them.

Gail Foster interviews Mike

Pop Up Youth Cafe Goes Down a Treat with Youth in Devizes

What a brilliant initiative on the Green in Devizes this week, and a pleasure to see what can only be described as a “mobile youth club.” It pitched up every day this week, with kids of all ages enjoying the facilities it provides. Me, ageing, either sleeping, working or complaining about sleeping or working, managed to completely overlook its very existence, while my kids and better half were aware of it.

Why am I the last to know about everything? Because I can’t be expected to look past my phone these days, relying on the book of face for my news, in-between sleeping and working! Councillor Jonathon Hunter Facebook posted about it, I inquired, perhaps unintentionally sternly, but only as a senior moment, I couldn’t see from the photos quite what the deal was!

So, I ventured down to see for myself, and aside the drizzle, it was in full swing. A volleyball net currently unattended, collapsible football goals with a group playing between them just beyond it, and at the van, children are surfing the net, or else playing a Tony Hawks skateboarding game on a console. There’s drinks, sweets and doughnuts aplenty, and Steve Dewar stands proudly by it.

Other features of the mobile youth club include a rock-climbing wall, which couldn’t come out to play because of the rain.

I was surprised to hear it had been in operation for five years. “I’ve been running Potterne Youth Club for about ten years,” Steve explained, and moved onto why it hadn’t been advertised on Facebook and other social media. “The reality is we don’t, because Facebook isn’t the best place to communicate with teenagers. It’s detached work; what we do is pitch up and engage with the young people there, we do it throughout the whole week, and day-on-day there’s an increase.”

Steve couldn’t see the point in me mentioning his mobile youth club, adamant the best form of communication for younger people is face-to-face, and besides, it was the last day it pitched on the Green, moving onto Trowbridge next week. I beg to differ, for if only to pay tribute to this guy and the wonderful work he does. In the plight of social facilities for children and youth clubs multiplied by this post-lockdown era, what Steve does here is at last as positive spin and proof amidst the doom and gloom of public services, there’s still saints like Steve, out their engaging youth the best way he knows how.

The opposite effect of a lack of amenities for youth is unfortunately anti-social behaviour, juvenile crime and possible drinking and drug taking, as we all know. Steve mentioned how the charity aided awareness and prevention of these difficult predicaments. But all the time, parents were always viewed as runners-up, his focus was entirely on the wellbeing of the children, except when he offered me a doughnut, kindly donated by Morrisons! The youth demographic there was all-encompassing, and clearly, they all enjoyed it equally.

It’s certainly evident here, social media is not needed to make kids aware of an occasion, it works by word-of-mouth as it always has. Grown up with it fed to them, rather it’s the adults who engage more with the internet, and while kids are still out, running, jumping and playing sports and games outdoors, a large majority of generation X are glued to their devises, ironically whinging that the kids are glued to their devises! I knew this, I’m guilty too, but it was great to actually witness evidence of it happening in our own town.

Steve also noted he attends local schools to let them know about the project. The van moves across the county, planning to pitch up in Trowbridge. “We’d love to do it more,” Steve expressed, “as a concept we could run this throughout the entire summer holidays, but because I work in schools termtime as well, my wife would kill me if I spent my entire summer holiday doing this! And also, financially as a charity, we get a little bit funding, and if we had more, we would plan to do more.”

And I conclude, ultimately, what an absolutely fantastic and inspiring guy, I tip my hat to Steve Dewar, and ask science, can we clone this chap?! We need more facilities like this, operating throughout the county and school holidays, we need more Steves!

Trending….

The Bradford Roots Music Festival Returns

I know, it’s hardly festival weather, but this one is all inside! Inside the glorious Wiltshire Music Centre in Bradford-on-Avon that is, on Saturday 21st January 2023, and it’s a whooper! The popular Bradford Roots Music Festival returns kicks off at 11am, and runs until 10pm, for a day of great music to warm away…

Devizes School; We Will Rock You Review

By Bill Green Devizes School excelled during the week of 05 December 2022, putting on a spectacular rendition of the West End show ‘We Will Rock You’… The Main Hall thrummed with expectation as the compere announced some housekeeping rules, including flash lighting and actors moving amongst the crowd, which had the audience murmuring with…

Exchange; Devizes Night Club Starts Regular Open Mic Sessions

Commendation must go to The Exchange night club in Devizes this week, for introduing regular open mic sessions on Fridays…. Starting on Friday 3rd February, the club will open at 8pm for open mic. It’s a concept which has launched many a musical career, an opportunity for amateur and upcoming acts to find an audience.…

Gastard’s Billionaire’s Tax Free Mine

I thought it’d be nice to have a localised “did you know” type article today, during this era where everyday folk die on our streets waiting for an ambulance, nurses cannot afford the petrol to get them to work, pensioners huddle together in community-led halls to keep warm, and a government which blames everything from…

Weekly Roundup of Events in Wiltshire: 11th-17th January 2023

Well into new year and things are building up again slowly, let’s have a little looky at what’s going on locally over this coming week, if you fancy going out to beat the January blues…. As usual, details and links can be found on our updating event calendar; keep checking for future dates, and, some…

Former Devizes Resident Brings His Broken Hearts Club to St Johns Church

Brave New Broken Hearts Club is the acoustic folk-indie project of Neil Phillimore, who might sound as cockney as Ray Winstone singing Any Old Iron on his Facebook videos, but says he’s a former Devizes resident, and he’s returning for a one-off gig at St Johns, Friday 10th February….. With his trademark brand of “engaging…

Are You The Strongest Man or Women in Devizes? Yeah, So You Reckon!!

Who knew? Devizes has an annual Strongest contest; why am I the last to know about these things? Best guess is because I’d only show you all up! Wiltshire born and bred, the saying goes, strong in the arm and thick in the head! Let’s forget about the latter bit, and concentrate on the first.…

Breaking Hibernation; Adam Woodhouse at The Three Crowns

Arising like a brown bear from hibernation, now the Quality Street tin is all but empty wrappers and toffee pennies, I dropped briefly into The Three Crowns yesterday, to catch Adam Woodhouse strumming George Michael’s Faith…. Admist a quiet Devizes town, the faithful central perk was modesty busy under the circumstances, and this lively acoustic…

Full-Tone Festival Announce 2023 Line-up

The Full-Tone Orchestra have released details of the 2023 line-up for their annual extravaganza, The Full-Tone Festival on Devizes Green, August bank holiday. It’s all on a rather smashing looking poster, unalike darker past posters with neon text, this time with a fresh use of pastel colours on white background, all very Degas I must…

Devizes Town Councillors LIED About Bird Flu on Crammer

As temperatures rise from the coldest December spell in a decade, life on Devizes Crammer is returning to normal. The Crammer Watch team concentrate their efforts on the natural course of activities for the wildfowl present, as aggressive swans drive others onto the roadside in territorial disputes…… Meanwhile, confused as to whether they should be…

Devizes Issues or The Ministry of Truth?!

“Every record has been destroyed or falsified, every book rewritten, every picture has been repainted, every statue and street building has been renamed, every date has been altered. And the process is continuing day by day and minute by minute. History has stopped. Nothing exists except an endless present in which the Party is always right.”

1984 by George Orwell

As the jollity of a carefree leaflet campaigning outing, for the new Conservative Wiltshire PCC candidate, Philip Wilkinson, and backed by Danny Kruger, is brazenly and shamelessly shared across the popular Facebook platform Devizes Issues, anyone with a questioning opinion is immediately thrown out the group; including me!

Allow me thus, to throw my toys out of my pram in dismay, the best way I know how! Oh, the calamity, the drama! The only real issue in Devizes, is that even social media is a predisposition.

Yes, I shared the “almost” parallel Orwell quote above, after my comment was deleted, twice, expressing the anger felt by many Wiltshire residents as to why money is ploughed into the candidate’s campaign, while taxpayers could face a £1.4m bill to hold another election, because of the Conservative Party’s impertinence in running a previous candidate who had a criminal record making him unable to stand. I figured it was a genuine and just thought, considering the circumstances.

Hardly a big secret, heck, you all know the story; Conservative candidate Johnathan Seed pulled out of the first election after hit and run, and drink driving offences the party carelessly assumed could be brushed under the carpet, came to light. And rather than the cost effective and democratic process of simply going with the second choice, Lib Dem candidate Liz Webster, it’s been decided a Police Crime Commissioner couldn’t possibly be anything less than a tory, so the whole shebang would have to be rerun.

Meanwhile, Wiltshire Police launch an investigation into the scandal, which is, to-date, still in progress. Yet the election goes ahead on 19th August, when I ask you, them, and everyone of Wiltshire, if you think it right not to wait until the inquiry has concluded prior holding a new election? With such a shocking revelation, how can any of you trust a Conservative candidate ever again, if it was discovered the Party knew of the convictions? And furthermore, what kind of madcap, totalitarianism is this, which dismisses such an assessment as a thoughtcrime?

I personally don’t want anyone who stands for a party which allows criminals to run as a Police Crime Commissioner, there’s an irony there sky-rocketing over some serious heads!

Ever a poor imitation of the original, The Devizes Issue, and named in such a way to narrowly escape trade descriptions if it was a product rather than a Facebook group, Devizes Issues has a 12.9k audience. The Facebook group is perhaps the second most popular general page for Devizes residents, initially set up by local Facebook users disgruntled by the original group’s ruling of no political subject matter, but run under the iron fist of a local Conservative town councillor, I and many others have often criticised its naturally right-wing bias. My argument thus; call a spade a spade, if you intend to have a group for local Conservative thinkers, then call it something which relates to this, but do not disguise it as general local group, for that is deceitful.

Ha, nearly as deceitful as fox-chumping Mr Seed, see a pattern evolving here?

Now I’m advised, if I get the chance to interview Philip, I should take it. In other words, that’s my way out of room 101, and back into what is, primarily, a great and informative Facebook group. Day-to-day it provides an endless stream of informative local matter. Such a shame so many have been pitilessly shoved out of it, including many opposition councillors, MPs and candidates, simply for arguing a contrasting opinion.

The only element incomparable to Orwell is it’s far from the bee-all-and-end all of local social media. There’s more than one way to skin a cat; if you rely on me sharing Devizine articles there, you may well have to change your habits by ensuring you’ve liked our Facebook page, or followed us on Twitter, for the time being. There’s a thing, I think the heat is getting to him, he just needs a big, teddy bear hug!

Because of my local social media diplomatic immunity, I get a response from admin, an honour most traitors to the Tory line are not bestowed. I’m told, “he [the new Conservative Wiltshire PCC candidate, Philip Wilkinson] is a good man and has sympathy that he has had to refinance due to the previous election. Philip should have been the candidate last time and wasn’t, it’s a mistake but it can’t be changed. We have to move on and make sure people get a fair choice.” Yes, Conservative Party; pay the cost of the re-election, then we can move on.

An opportunity I would be honoured to, and welcome, as I have interviewed previous PCC candidates. A process which, I might add, is counter-productive for Devizine, as any one-party candidate I do interview tends to receive angered social media comments condemning my reasoning for allowing a platform to a party they personally don’t like, and any previous interviews I have conducted with other party’s candidates and independents is long forgotten. It must also be noted, the majority come from, coincidently, a conservative ethos, when in all actual fact, Johnathan Seed was the first PCC candidate I interviewed. So, stick that in your pipe!

Because, and please take heed Mr Wilkinson if you are reading this, the assumption seems to be my comment was an attack on you, when it never was about that. The point was if the Conservative Party are at fault, should they not cover the £1.4m bill to hold another election, rather than squander cash on a campaign.

And neither is this article an attack on you, or anyone else. Rather it is a shame, I believe, when political bias has to get in the way of a relationship otherwise built on pacification, by those who feel the need to pettily censor local social media. It’s not the Daily Mail, anyone with a Facebook group of over a thousand “likes” is not Rupert Murdoch; there is no need for political bias, the town is a guaranteed Tory haven anyway! The result turning Seed’s way despite all the well-publicised dishonour and humiliation is proof of this blind voting; if they splodged a blue rosette onto a lobotomised potbelly pig, Wiltshire would still vote it in.  

Unless, no… unless they suspect the tide is turning! We live in hope.

Wiltshire’s Solstice Troubles, Again!

Have you seen this, at the Euros? When in defence of a freekick they have a guy lying on the ground behind the wall like a human draft excluder. That’d be me, about as much use as a chocolate fireguard, finally a position I could play. Imagine the scenario; I’d be like “where do you want me to be?” The captain’s response would be, “tell you what, why don’t you take a load off, and lie down there on the grass, take as long as you need!”

The crowds thinking; that guy came to the wrong event, he wants to be at the solstice celebrations, maxin’-relaxin’, awaiting sunrise…. now there’s a confliction; while Wembley play host to 60,000 foreign media and dignitaries, exempt from quarantine, Wiltshire bans access to its world-famous Neolithic monument for significant less thousands of revellers whose only wish is to see in the solstice in a manner done centuries prior to the notion a bunch of lads kicking a pig’s bladder around a park might be fun.

Last year was understandable, and well reported, solstice at the henge would be via live stream only. Hardly the same, but adhered too. This year it looked set to go ahead, and was poorly publicised that it had been pulled last minute due to the pushing back of our Clown Minister’s so-called, “Freedom Day.”

Take a deep breath, refrain from calling it “Freedom Day,” please. Freedom Day in the USA remembers the 13th Amendment, abolishing slavery and involuntary servitude, rather than being able to drunkenly hug your best mate down the pub. The only thing slightly comparable to it would be the day this government, intent on regurgitating and condoning the traditional hypocrisies and philosophies of prejudices, collapses, and a freer society which adopts the tenet live and let others live, replaces it.

A prime example this weekend, in my honest opinion, and here’s why; constraining a populace’s desire to celebrate a religious rite whilst allowing lucrative sporting events is nothing less than cultural appropriation. Far from Pope Gregory I’s era, who banged out a letter to Saxon Bishop of London, Mellitus, legitimately approving the reformatting of pagan cultural activities and beliefs into a Christianised form, (hence bunnies and chocolate eggs presented to mark Jesus’s crucifixion, and Santa Claus jingling bells on his birthday) but be certain, it’s the same ballpark; Interpretatio Christiana lite.

As I sift through social media commentary and local news reports, I find nothing but support and positive stories from those who either attended Solstice at our county’s heritage sites, or tried to, couped only by downright insolence from authorities to accept its importance to so many people, and made concentrated efforts to prevent it.

In this pandemic era, restrictions to prevent the spread of the virus is logical, we’ve had over a year to come to terms and implement these. Social distancing, basic hygiene, and the wearing of facemasks when in close proximity to another have all become second nature. These can be used to create a safer environment in which to gather, and we have done, but it seems only when it suits. A celebration at Stonehenge could have been policed properly, the standard model for Covid prevention could have be implemented, but to outright ban it, when it’s bleeding obvious there will be resistance, and people will attempt to gate-crash, is counter-productive to preventing the spread of the virus, compared to allowing it to go ahead with aforementioned restrictions. Ever been to Stonehenge? Hardly a confined and enclosed space!

If we put measures into Royal Ascot and made it a “pilot,” for Queenie and her affluent chums, we could have done the same with Stonehenge. But we only need to look at the controversial history of retribution by authorities to suspect there’s far more to the reasons for preventing solstice celebrations than the pandemic.

I need not reflect back-to-square-one, the Battle of the Beanfield, rather consider, through the Iron Age, the Roman Empire, and the early Mediaeval periods, while the meaning and significance of Avebury’s stone circle had been lost through the passage of time, people largely let it be, ignoring it, using as a fortified site or even, during Roman times, seeing it as a tourist attraction, much as we do today. It wasn’t until the early 14th century, Late Mediaeval, when England had been wholly transformed to Christianity, the circle was associated with the devil, and villagers ripped down the stones with such anger, one poor chap was killed attempting to topple them.

Imagine the fate, insanely yelling at an eight-foot stone monolith that it was the work of the devil, until it falls and crushes you to death, and your mate is like; yeah, story checks out; that’s gonna hurt in the morning! And why anyone would want to build their church out of stones considered the Devil’s Chair, or the Devil’s Quoits is beyond reasoning.

The irony is, if it wasn’t for Black Death in 1349, halving the village population, when manpower was focussed on agricultural obligations rather than taking their aggression out on a pagan monument, it’s likely there would be no remains for Alexander Keiller to have renovated.

And now, 672 years later, we’ve got our own plague, and on a rain-drenched, dull sunrise anyway, Wiltshire Police waffle, “We have taken the difficult decision to prevent further access to part of the Ridgeway, near Avebury, to maintain public safety and prevent potential damage to nearby farmland. This is in response to large numbers of people and vehicles in the area.” When really, it’s common knowledge locally, Avebury is a far less popular solstice celebration site than Stonehenge and would’ve only risked being inundated with vehicles because they closed Stonehenge; swings and roundabouts!

I spoke to a friend, heading to Avebury on motorbike, so able to take the byways across Hackpen Hill to avoid roadblocks. The point being; where there’s a will, there’s a way, folk are prepared to take a hike because, and here’s the thing the authorities fail to grasp, even if solstice is not your cup of tea, it’s time to accept that to thousands of British people, it clearly is.

Yet English Heritage pull their live stream of sunrise at Stonehenge, due to invasion, host Ed Shires announced, “I must say we have been disappointed that a number of people have chosen to disregard our request to not travel to the stones this morning and that is the reason why we haven’t been able to bring you the pictures that we would have liked to have done.” The pictures that they would have liked, is the image of solitude and splendour, as the sun rises over the stones, to promote the site as a lucrative attraction to tourists, rather than their attempts curb the real connotations it has for the indigenous folk, on what was a dull and rainy morning without much sunrise, anyway! Run the film, I say, show the world what is really happening at Stonehenge, and that it means so much to so many, they’re willing to break the law and lockdown restrictions to be there, and perhaps only then, the embarrassment might make them consider, perhaps, you know, we could have organised an event, with restrictions and made far safer environment than the inevitable invasion; give me strength!

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Thirty Years a Raver. Part 6: Impact Zone

Final piece of the series then, and a conclusion… One More Tune!!!

Read from start
recap last chapter

By 1994 the Criminal Justice Bill had become an act. Attempts to enforce it were either greatly exaggerated, such as riot vans and police helicopters crashing a birthday barbeque, or were disregarded as an unnecessary government enforcement from the police on the ground. Though we may never have had another Castlemorton, the mid-nineties and even into the millennium, free raves struck back from the body-blow.

Urbanised parties took over railway arches, disused warehouses and squats, the people fought tooth and nail to preserve the culture, and in a way, they did. Rural parties continued, localised and smaller, but communal and friendly. Albeit any forces resisting against them, caused many larger ones to become more viciously anarchistic over time. There were attempts to party in aid of a greater cause, environmental issues for example, such as the Reclaim the Streets protests.

Yet in turn, rave bore an impact on culture and society, which outreached the free party scene. We spoke of musical genres breaking apart, so that large pay-raves erected multiple tents of differing sounds; house, drum n bass, techno, happy hardcore, speed garage, the list continued to get more diverse, until at Universe’s Tribal Gathering 1997, where originators of computer-generated music, Kraftwerk played a main stage, and everyone from each individual subgenre tent came out to pay respects to the roots.

Likewise, Liverpool super-club Cream wanted in on the large festival rave, and created Creamfields, where the likes of Run DMC played. And the scene redeveloped in many avenues, Acid Jazz was popularised, and if it was only short-lived, it birthed incredibly successful Jamiroquai. It also returned hip hop to the forefront, as breakbeat, chemical and big beat were the sounds of the later nineties. The indie and rave divide, parted dramatically since the days of Madchester, the Happy Mondays, Stone Roses, and Primal Scream’s Screamadeleica had realigned, with the punk nature of the Prodigy’s new look. The crossover blended once again, as indie kids accepted electronica wasn’t intending to lay down and die.

Clubs rocked to The Dust Brothers, later to be the Chemical Brothers. Mo-Wax, Skint and Wall of Sound roared a big beat, hip hop melting pot ethos, rooted by rave parties, and everyone flooded to Brighton beach to see Norman Cook “large it” as Fatboy Slim.

What was clear, by this conjunction, while the movement had altered, and divided, rave was now embedded in our culture, and was spreading globally. The paid peanuts DJs who once rocked up to an illegal rave now jetsetters, playing clubs worldwide.

Clubland never had it so good, buy a MixMag, relish in a party, legally, without the need of convoys, service station coups and risks of police brutality. I bought a silk shirt, wore it at Lakota in Bristol, but headed there after a free party in the forest of Longleat, the night before, and without care for basic hygiene, my paisley chic was ruined by the sweat marks of a boxer. I was oblivious ‘til presented with embarrassing photographic evidence afterwards.

But commercialisation of the culture had always loomed. In the race to become the “king of rave,” as rock n roll had Elvis and reggae had Marley, they failed to note this plastic throwaway ethos I’ve previously mentioned. In 1992, thousands of twenty-somethings blissfully unaware of the references, sang ‘Eezer Goode ‘Eezer Goode He’s Ebeneezer Goode, simply because the Shamen reached number one in the pop charts, in just the same way thirty years previously, no-hopers sang “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds,” oblivious to its blatant LSD connotations. I’d argue if we have to have a “king of rave” it’d would have been the ever-progressive Prodigy, but they never cared to call for the title.

The point is, commercialisation got the better of us eventually, as it did for every previous outrageous youth culture. It would be difficult to imagine in the days of Scott Joplin, that his rags would be considered conforming for a hoity-toity jazz festival in market towns like Marlborough, as in the 1910s, he played to lewd degenerates and desperate sailors in New York’s underworld and bawdy brothels.  In a short few years after the peak of rave culture, Leftfield’s Release the Pressure will be used in an advert for Cheese Strings. And don’t get me started on Yo Gabba Gabba.

And now we live in a time when reflections of nostalgia from forty-somethings comply with Albert Trotter moments, and a misunderstanding of what happened is ingrained in our culture. I cringe at how the tragic Wonder Woman sequel depicted the eighties, in an almost caricatured version of the fashion, and foresee bearded twenty-somethings attending wistful “rave” nights dressed in glow sticks like tourists on planet Mars. I never waved a fucking glowstick in the nineties, any more than I wore legwarmers in the eighties!

A van speeds past me, a youngster wears his hood up while driving. Why? Is there a leak in the van’s roof? Yes, we ravers popularised the hooded top in the UK long before the “hoody” culture, and if we wore the hood up, it was because we came out from a sweatbox into the cool night air with perspiration evaporating off of us. We did it to prevent dehydration from precipitation, rather than cos it made us look well ‘ard.

And then Ollie Murs’ heart skips a beat, with a drum loop the Ratpack would’ve rejected in 91, and I yell, NO! Get your own youth culture kids, nicking ours is disillusioned by commercialisation, unless you’re standing chilly at Peartree services at 3am, teeth masticating the life out of a slice of Wrigleys, eyes like saucers, and waving your arms about like a broken robot with a hundred others, surrounded by cars beeping their horn and playing a chewed up Easygroove cassette, then you are not a raver. And don’t you even let me see you asking Alexa to search the word cassette!

Last thing I want to do is end this series on a sour note, but duty calls. I read an article about how the days of the illegal rave had returned in all its former glory. “It was just like 1992,” they quoted in a story about a warehouse takeover, then informed partygoers discovered the happening via a Tweet. Eh? Have a word with yourself, Tweets were a novelty eighties band who rehashed an oom-pah so your granny could do a little bit of this and a little bit of that and shake her bum at some family disco of yore. We went raving without a clue what a pager was, while scare-story spreading tabloids suggested we all had mobile phones, in an era where mobile phones were thought of as the devil’s business. They couldn’t comprehend how an entire generation could all descend onto one field simply by word-of-mouth.

  “…and if you tell that to the young people today, they won’t believe you…”

The Four Yorkshire Men sketch, Monty Python.

In conclusion; as we say farewell to my little series reflecting back on those heady ravey dayz, I’ll confirm, there was numerous amazing times, the best times of my life, times evoking stories I could bore you into an early grave with. And by the thankful response to this series and the masses of posts of stories from so many old skool ravers in the variety of Facebook groups, it is clear I’m not alone in this theory. Although, my rose-tinted specs were large enough to engulf those dilated pupils throughout most of the examination.

Probably the most active of those groups, aforementioned DOCU FREE PARTY ERA 1990-1994 – WERE YOU THERE? was originally set up as a research project by one Aaron Trinder a filmmaker on a mission to document the era in a film. We wish him all the best of luck with this monumental task. And it is a monumental task, as unlike most previous youth cultures which borrowed from various trends and cultures, say the teddy boys borrowed extensively from rock-n-roll, mods borrowed from jazz, Italian suits and scooters, and so on, rave borrowed from everything and anything.

United, the melting pot came from any source, we electrified it and, even if it was relatively short-lived, what exhausted out inspired everything that went hereafter; modern pop, multiple dance music subgenres, fashion, video technology, literature, children’s entertainment, and most importantly, despite the authorises misunderstanding us and their traditionist values causing hateful vengeance upon us, a wealth of people power; the notion that masses can make a difference to life, society and politics. Evident by politicians consistently doing what our Iron Lady wouldn’t do at the time, make a U-turn to save their popularity and votes. For this, we should all be proud.

I would reward myself with one last disco biscuit, but I’m unsure if my ticker would take it. Slapped with a finale date though, it would be on my bucket list, and what a way to go, reaching for the skies in one last sweet harmony…..

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